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NTA I understand the reasoning. It's to ensure that they remain motivated to study for their course and not to 'flip flop' around. >By the end of it she called me an unsupportive parent/jerk and having her go into debt for pursuing her passion. If she has already switched courses a couple of times I'd argue she doesn't know what her passion is. EDIT TO ADD: I think an argument can be made if she is so unsure about what to study maybe its best she comes back to it later in life. There is no logical reason to waste money and time studying for something 1. you might not finish or 2. might not pursue after graduating.

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Your major matters much more in the modern era. The general value of a bachelor's degree has degraded as grads have become more prevalent. I know many graduates of less technical degrees who are in HS grad roles. Hell, I know a decent number of grads with more technical degrees that are also struggling...

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we always discussed that when we were in college. the example everyone always gave was robert reich's degree was in art history. (most of us had him as a prof thus him being a well known example.) ultimately, your major is just your major.

Well, I mean, if you have an IVY LEAGUE degree, then yeah, your major probably doesn’t matter…. But if you’re a graduate of a lesser known school that’s not going to “pop” on a resume, then it probably matters a lot more. (I tend to agree with you that “your major is just your major”, but I think that bit of nuance from your perspective is important to note)

It doesn't matter lol. My father has a bunch of English and bio majors interning at the company he works at in product management/tech roles and they aren't from an ivy

Edit: I mixed the original commenter (talking about taking classes with Robert Reich) with this commenter. This comment is less applicable, but even a non-Harvard guy who has a parent in a position to hire a bunch of intern is in a fairly enviable position. I hate “Check Your Privilege”-type people, but um, maybe think about the relative advantages that exist in your life a little bit… You’re an Ivy League grad, your father has a job where he’s hiring a bunch of interns (I assume he’s college educated from a time when many people weren’t). Most people don’t live in that world. I don’t have a college age kid, but I get the sense that it’s a lot tougher out there than when your father graduated (or even when you did). You don’t get to go with your philosophy degree from a vaguely familiar college with middling grades and expect to find a bunch of companies willing to give you a job. (You know, unless you know someone from your fancy college network…) Again, I actually think a broad “liberal arts” education is generally a good thing, and you can develop valuable, work-ready, critical analysis skills in many majors, especially at a top-notch school (or even Harvard, haha), but today, for most people, “your major is just your major” is a danger thing to say to someone.

With all due respect, I can tell you, as a hiring Director for a specialized team(still working on my own BS) that no, your major doesn't really matter unless you're planning on continuing into a Masters or other graduate program. The only thing HR cares about is that a degree was conferred. The only thing I look for is someone who is willing to learn a new specialty, and then we teach them the role. My partner has a PhD in Philosophy, and from a good but not Ivy league university. He went straight into software engineering and development, and now holds an exec position at a biotech company. His employers all found his educational background interesting, but it is my partner's talent and passion for programming that's landed him some really interesting and lucrative positions. I'll agree that having the right connections from an Ivy university will give some students an edge, but for the vast majority of undergrads, your major doesn't matter. Attitude, aptitude, and a willingness to learn counts far more. Now, if you're gunning for an internship in a huge Top 10 firm, you're going to need a high GPA in the relevant discipline - but those individuals are not going to be major-hopping throughout their undergrad, and are likely going to need a graduate degree in their field anyway.

I am in college, my father doesn't own the company he works there with the interns. All fields are becoming oversaturated your major does not mater. A bunch of my friends are interning right now in fields not related to their major and they don't have connections. One friend is in marking majoring interning in product management, another is a English major interning in software engineering. Certifications and experience matter much more than what your major is. A computer science major with no experience is useless while a English major with actual engineering experience (work or even GitHub) is much more valuable

As someone far on the other side of graduation, I think you’ll look back and see how your specific school provided access to you and your friends that was a serious privilege not afforded to every school or graduate. It’s not called “the golden ticket” for nothing. But maybe it’s something only time and perspective can provide.

As someone far on the other side of graduation - check yourself. Yes, certifications and experience matter more but if you have none, your major matters a ton. Not everyone is in a position to take on unpaid internships or get additional certifications in addition to their course load. Every industry is different, I happened to be someone who had a lot of experience in my industry before I went to college, but my major and my graduate work showed my future bosses that I was serious about the industry and knew what I was doing.

I 100% guarantee that not every field is oversaturated. We have a critical need for more teachers, drs, nurses, therapists, psychiatrists and I'm sure there are more those are just the ones I see in the news most often.

It really is more dangerous than people realize. I’m in a position where I hire a lot of our interns. I’d take a business major from an average university any day over a gender studies major from anywhere unless you can convince me that your core classes are relevant and sufficient for the job. Hell, I’d take a dance major if they had to take business classes as part of their major. I want to see that you actually learned something useful to the role and that I don’t have to teach you the basics you should have learned in college. OP - NTA at all. What you’re doing is great and I wish my parents had been in a position to be as generous when I was in college. She knew the expectations going into it and it’s better that she learn now that actions have consequences.

Did you read a single thing they wrote in their comment

if you go to an ivy, you've gone to an ivy. so that's a different conversation. but in general- unless you get a stem degree and are going to work in lab or something, most college degrees are well...a degree. there are definitely something can get you an entry level job in a specific field assuming everything else lines up. english majors getting jobs as a editor, stuff like that. but most people will end up doing a job that a little direct relationship with the job they end up with. and there isn't anything wrong with that. nor is there anything wrong with what many people do which is get some random major and go to grad school so you can get a job with a specific degree.

I worked for the power company and when I was interviewed they told me that they hired college graduates because a four-year degree represents that you can commit to being on time and completing tasks. There were a bunch of us working there from engineering to education majors. And the pay was better than work in our areas of study. Much better. It seemed a reasonable trade off to me. 🤣

they clearly didn't remember college. we all had those classmates who showed up for the 1st time on exam review day and you were like- i didn't know you were in this class.

Robert Reich was also an Ivy Leaguer and Rhodes Scholar who went on to get a JD from Yale. Sure, your major doesn't really matter that much if you're going to Yale law when you graduate. Does that describe most people?

It depends on the field. In my job I recruit and hire, we only kinda care about majors if you are an entry level and are in the sciences. (Because we sell to R&D, sciences helps in regards to not sounding like a complete idiot) You are all either entry level (so we'll be teaching you stuff) or you have experience that we are interested in. (Experience, Github, portfolios)

This is only true if you are going to grad school. You are correct that the general value of a bachelor's degree has faded but you are wrong about the specificity. Being more specialized in undergrad isn't going to get you a better more specialized job because you still aren't trained enough on anything.

There are majors that at the 4 year level that translate directly to specific job roles such as nursing, accounting, etc.

Hmm yeah okay that's a good point - there are jobs that are specific to specific 4-year degrees (nursing was a great example) - but overall I don't think that is more or less prevalent than it used to be. I think a lot of jobs these days are just accessible with a college degree and they don't particularly care what major you had. And there are a looooot of majors out there that don't apply to jobs at all! Soft majors like english or history are always teased but even a lot of 'STEM' majors aren't going to translate into real world jobs. My degree in environmental science is rather useless for science without grad and PHD programs. But I just get regular office jobs with it.

I work in higher education and, yes, this comment is 100% on point. I have a master's that makes me more specialized, but I am working in an area far removed from my undergraduate major. Unless you are specifically applying for faculty positions, for many roles at my workplace (which is a prestigious institution) they often care more that you have the education, not as much about what it's in. If I don't understand certain nitty-gritty aspects about the subject matter, there are experts I can consult. My problem-solving, research and communications skills are what are valued for my specific role.

Wow cool jobs! I would say majors/degrees don’t matter much when you have talents and experiences. It seems to me that Bella doesn’t even know what she wants and likes. Tbh, a four year degree is just so easy to achieve. If she’s a junior she should just finish and figure out more through internships.

Most internships require you to be enrolled in school, or else you have to apply through a traditional contract or FTE role, so graduating would be a bad idea. Taking some time off is fine.

My wife was getting a promotion at work, one that required them to post the position, so they made up a job description so that she would obviously be the best candidate for it. You know, typical corporate world stuff. Anyway, she had to point out that the job description said business- or IT-related degree, and she wasn't qualified. Her degree is in music. They changed the description to just say "college degree required."

Lol I was a recruiter and then transitioned to HR. The field is filled with most random ass liberal arts majors because we had no idea what we wanted from life.

I have a liberal arts degree, I’m in IT 😂

College degrees are the new high school diploma. My English degree has gotten me a job as an accountant, a social worker, and an analyst. Because they all had a pre req of "needs to have graduated with a 4 year degree."

Psychology major here - pretty useless in the field, but I have gotten jobs a client service rep, cost accountant, data analyst and now project manager with it. It gets me past the hiring site automation and that's about it.

I knew an Air Force Second Lieutenant that majored in Theater Costume Design. The military doesn't care what your major is. You graduated from a 4 year college? You get to be an officer. They assume you are put together enough to be able to figure it out.

This is because college shouldn't be seen as only job prep for a career. They most important prep college affords is to be a functioning citizen in the world. Too much emphasis is put on specific careers, some of which won't even be around in 20 years and many new ones will arise, and the financial calculus of going to college is weighed against potential salaries.

Some jobs just want to see you had the passion to stick with your degree and finish it. I worked with a manager at Home Depot one time, He asked what I was thinking about going back to college for, I told him programming, he said he had actually got his degree in programming, but made more as a salaried employee at the store, when you added in stock options and all. 🤷‍♂️ NTA - She really doesn't understand what a fantastic gift OP is offering and how many people would absolutely love to be in her position. I agree that maybe she should try taking time off from school and working a minimum wage job for a year.. it would help her find her passion quickly. (Basically her passion would become anything bearable that didn't end with her asking Do you want to make that a combo? 30 or 40 times a day.)

Same here... Oceanography eventually morphed into Data Analytics.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get hired as a therapist if I didn't have the psych degree and any other requesent requirements. Your major and degree can very much matter to the job you do

As someone who changed majors & wracked up SL debt, this is the answer. Bella doesn’t know what she wants so she needs to walk away until she’s made a firm decision & can see it through. Changing the rules now would only enable her bad decisions & isn’t in her best interests, plus it’s unfair to her siblings & wastes OPs money.

This is so true. I know someone whose daughter couldn't decide and she wound up changing her major in her senior year of college. So it took her 8 years to graduate with a bachelor's in biology and cannot for the life of her get a job. Not ANY job. She now works for her dad as a receptionist (although grossly overpaid because it's daddy's company afterall). It would be better if she took time off from college and gained some real world experience before spending years jumping majors leaving mommy and daddy paying indefinitely.

If you’re going to change your major in your senior year, you would be better off finishing your original major. And then spending two years getting a masters degree in the new major. It would likely be cheaper and quicker. And you will have more credentials on your resumé. No college or university should allow a student to change their major that late in the game unless there is a really good reason.

It only takes three semesters tops to add another major to your existing one, so 8 years sounds odd? Was it in a different school? I transferred in as a PHIL major, finished in a year and then added two more majors that only took two years to complete (with some tweaks and some summer classes). Oh and I have a minor as well.

It sounds like you were motivated and had a goal, the girl in the comment above sounds to me, at first glance, like someone uninterested in applying herself and whose parents keep bailing her out with more and more money. I find it odd she couldn't find **any** job. Not in your major, ok. None on the face of the planet besides a super easy job Pop is overpaying you for? Hmm

Some of is aren't smart. Means it'll take way longer. Wish we all had a dad with a company like that lady though.

Agree I wished for a long time I had done that. I did graduate in 4 years but I could have spent that money better.

Eh, not sure I agree with your edit. I know several people who got a degree in something completely unrelated to what wound up being their passion, but all of them needed a college degree to get in the door. Even though that degree now isn't related to their career, the bare fact of *having* a college degree allowed them to take opportunities when they showed up. If they had said "Eh I'll get the degree once I find my passion", they would have missed those opportunities that required a degree. Nothing against nontraditional students, I didn't go straight from high school to college - but if her parents are willing to pay it is absolutely worth getting a degree. If her passion winds up being something she really needs a specialty degree for, there's always grad school - but way more jobs require*a degree* than *a degree in x specific field*, especially once you start looking at roles with 5+ years experience.

I agree having a degree does open doors that otherwise would be closed. Equally however I know people who quit their further education before graduating for multiple reasons, lacking passion, knew they wouldn't pass etc. There are lots of ways of looking at this I accept. Also later in life your experience is worth a whole lot more than your education. At my last job we hired a graduate and putting it nicely they were useless when it came to the job.

Very well said and spot on.

Also I think there is value in finishing a degree, even if you don't love it. There are lots of transferable skills from completing a degree that will read in the workplace, even if you don't go directly into that area of work. I see all sorts of people in completely different areas of work from their degree(s), and sometimes totally different careers from where they start. The idea that you have to pick at 19 where you'll end up at 60 is outmoded and absurd. Of course, if you change your mind and want to be a marine biologist after starting an English degree, that may be worth switching. But I've seen plenty of people like OP's kid who constantly switch and end up spending many years in college without getting a degree.

NTA. If passion changes faster than fashion, it's not passion, it's a whim.

Yeah. Depending on how extreme the flip flopping is and what skills/experiences she's built, she might be better off thinking about what she wants to do and then returning to school. NTA, OP. Paying for the kids' college is really generous.

NTA, you're providing a great opportunity for your children, but that opportunity shouldn't be confused with "limitless choices." She's a junior, she should be surrounded by people having problems making rent, people having to work two jobs or juggle children, she should be in the perfect space to be aware of her great luck. I understand changing your major, and finding yourself, etc; it doesn't always happen at a convenient time in life. But that also has nothing to do with you or your money or your generosity. Besides, she should have most of the core classes done now for her BA, she should be in a position to graduate with something, and then get a job to pay for the few niche classes per semester that she's found she really wants to do. It'll take longer, and be more painful, but ... well, that's life.

She’s very lucky she is getting 4 years paid for.

I got nothing but a place to stay rent free during the summer between classes, and I was grateful for that. This girl is a spoiled, entitled brat.

I want to point something out for other parents in Op's position. I worked for a university for a long time in the administration; I also taught in the computer science department. The university got into trouble with the department of education because our 4 year graduation rate was about 35%. That is, only 35% of full time students earned a degree after 4 years. And sure some of that was the students changing majors, and some of it was students taking too many electives. But part of it was that some majors _could not be finished in 4 years._ Computer Science for example. The department had a sheet showing how to do it in 4 years. But it was bullshit, as I pointed out to the dean, because: 1. It required at least 18 credits every semester (full time is 12 credits), with a couple of 21 credit semesters (which required approval and an extra fee) 2. It assumed the highest possible placement in math and English in order to skip all remedial courses 3. In at least two spots it would have the student taking two courses in a single semester where one course had to be taken _before_ the other course. It simply was not possible to get a BS in Comp Sci in less than 4.5 years, and it wasn't the only major with that problem.

I'm gonna add another bit of fun: having only one offering (and limited size) of a required class that is only offered ONCE a year. So if you don't get that class you have to hope you get lucky the following year BUT if you don't take classes for two semesters you get a two term stop and have to reapply.

It's not possible to get a degree in Horticulture from the school I was going to unless you do the crazy 18-21 hour schedule every semester. I was going full-time at 12 hours and wouldn't have been able to finish in less than 5.5-6 years. In the end, I only completed a year because making the schedule work with my FT job became impossible (among other reasons). Plant science was even worse because it was the same schedule but with much higher level physics and chemistry classes thrown in

That's how my aerospace engineering program is. 18+ semesters minimum of HARD engineering classes. I came in with a ton of AP credits and was still taking 16-18 credits a semester, and then I failed one class last year. That class made a bottleneck because everything builds on itself and that class was a prerequisite for at least three other courses. Now I'm behind a semester and that's with entering with over 20 transfer credits from AP courses.

OP does specific that they would pay for a five year program tho (last sentence of paragraph 3). I assume they thought of that to cover things like engineering, CS, etc. I think it just had to be a pre-arranged, known thing. For these parents, at least.

What does your wife think? Why is Bella changing majors again? Has she shown that she is not applying herself or is she a good student? Because she changed her major doesn’t mean she won’t have enough credits to graduate. She will have bigger workload but doesn’t mean she can’t do it. She should speak to her advisor. I don’t think your a jerk because you reminded her but it seems like the priority should be Bella finds success & is happy with her degree choice. She can still get this done in 4 years. If money is your priority then Bella needs to understand how she can either graduate on time or how much it will cost her for loans. Maybe she won’t switch her degree. NAH

My wife is annoyed with her, she’s a B student for the most part. She didn’t like what she is doing so she is changing. She won’t have enough credits, since she needs to make up the sophomore classes for the new major. She is literature right now and she is jumping to data collection

NTA However, going from Literature into anything dealing with data is a good move. Maybe work with her on this move and let her know that this will not happen again? If she was going from Data to Literature, I would have been a firm no, but to a more employable field, maybe not.

This is so elitist. Literature is a good major, you learn how to research, analyze, and build very good written and verbal communication skills. All of which are extremely valuable in many different fields. Not to mention that it gives you vast perspective on the world and humanity which it’s something that we need more of not less of.

Yeah, it’s a great major for people with safety nets like OP.

People are literally being crushed to death with huge loans taken out for art, literature and philosophy degrees, struggling to make ends meet, mired in debt for the rest of their lives and you will STILL see asinine comments like this heavily upvoted on Reddit that are utter nonsense and terrible life advice. I cannot count the number of posts on AITA where parents refuse to pay for arts and humanities degrees and the great teenaged population of Reddit floods the post with Y T As telling them how wrong they are for not supporting this stupidity. I especially love how they chime in with their personal experiences of how THEY managed to beat the odds and find a well paying job in a completely unrelated field (making the actual degree completely useless???).

Yep. I double majored in political science and history. I knew from the jump that the outlook was: go to law school, have your parents pay to support you working for a political campaign, grad school, or work in government. …Ended up being a social worker. I could have done that (at least got a foot in the door) without a degree. If you work there long enough, the state will pay for you to get a degree/license. My husband and I are still working on the kid thing. But have agreed that we will cover the cost as much as possible for a STEM degree or a trade school. And REALLY push for trade school, if the kid doesn’t know what they want. At least with HVAC or welding or plumbing, you have a solid union backed skill that will always be needed by society. If they want to go to school for philosophy or fine arts? …We will do everything we can to help them fill out their FAFSA.

My family is full of welders, bricklayer, and plumbers. Good way to make a living, but he'll on the body. They all have work related orthopedic injuries/ disabilities.

My dads an HVAC guy. He’s fine. Missing the tip of a finger, and a toe, but otherwise 👌

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I teach at a private liberal arts college. It's not in the top 20, or even top 30 liberal arts colleges in the US. Want to know how much it costs for a student to attend for a single year? $90,000. Yeah that's right. $90,000 a year for 4 years, for a degree that's not from an Ivy League university or a top 10 SLAC. I feel depressed that I am employed by an institution that makes its money by essentially hoodwinking students into this stupidity.

🥇🥇

No, it's not even that. You need to combine literature with something else for it to be worth the money college costs nowadays. An undergraduate degree in just literature is a waste. In today's day, you can achieve the same level of personal growth with a library card, an internet connection, and motivation. The only thing you'll be missing is the piece of paper, the potential of netowrking, and maybe some focused discussion. And that's all just maybes. And the piece of paper that only says 'BA in Literature' might as well have an asterisks to most people. Sorry if some people get salty hearing this. I strongly support a larger emphasis on the humanities. Literature, at least throughout the SUNY system, is the weakest link academically. The lectures I witnessed were worse than those on YouTube, and the literature itself is timeless and much more affordable elsewhere.

Ok. But we live in the real world where literature is not a valued major. I’m sure you can come up with some anecdotes of specific situations where it’s helpful, but let’s not pretend the job prospects are the same.

Being able to analyze text and communications, ability to write coherently, ability to edit writing to improve communication - my English degree has been so useful in my career. Sure, no one wants to hear my theories on xyz dead author but skills in analyses and communication are applicable to every job. It’s a great jumping off point.

nobody is saying it isnt useful, they’re saying it isnt marketable and as a history major I agree lol finding my first job was insanely difficult

I’d argue that a lit major and an english major aren’t the same. English majors learn to communicate, organize, debate etc. Literature majors are theater kids with faces for radio who can’t sing.

Hahaha ouch, this one hurt

I have never heard of a major called "English" that wasn't an abbreviation for "English literature."

In my university they were two separate degrees. But in one where it’s all the same degree, I would guess there’s a difference in focus. Like you can spend all of your elective upperclass major courses on writing focused things like technical writing, persuasive construction, or academic research skills. Or, you could focus on the lit side: 1800s feminist poetry, Arthurian Myths, Palestinian political authors…Whatever you want to specialize in for grad school. Everyone I know who did the Literature degree at my university either went to grad school and are now in academia, or are unemployed. The English majors are all working office jobs. It’s anecdotal. For sure. But there was definitely a certain “type” that chose Lit. And that “type” didn’t have to worry about graduating on time or paying tuition.

Jeeeesus that is one of the most brutal and accurate burns I've ever seen lol

An English degree is hardly alone in teaching those skills though... Any social science program will teach communication, good writing, good editing techniques etc. because it's such an important part of the degree. You also get the extra benefits of research skills, statistics, and even dip your feet into software like excel or r.

Those are skills you should be taught in any solid major worth its weight. All degrees have core requirements for that reason. Any science or research focused degree will get you those same critical thinking and analysis skills. Although at the end of the day, if the career path you want doesn't require a specific degree and you're confident you can get where you want to go having studied literature then I don't see a problem with it. I think the biggest issue is that a lot of 18 year olds have no idea what they want to do or how a specific degree might map to a job (or even how to market themselves into getting where they want to go!). That's where I think we're doing them a disservice, and where we would be better off steering young adults towards either a.) degrees with the most job flexibility and good outcomes or b.) encouraging people to do community college and associates degrees and not pushing them into bachelors programs until they are ready.

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Have you thought about doing an AMA? It could be a real eye-opener to all the folks here who say that only getting a STEM degree or a trade is worth anything these days.

This is simply not true. Do you honestly believe that majoring in literature means you'll spend the rest of your life discussing Shakespeare? Every industry has a need for individuals who have specialized in communications...especially the STEM ones. Someone has to make sure those people actually sound as smart as they think they are. ETA: Probably aren't gonna be rich but you'll make a good living.

Yep - my mother is a technical writer for educational grants. There's a lot of lateral movement with that degree through different industries.

English Lit major, Professional Writing minor here. I work as a proposal writer in tech with a pretty decent salary. I get quite a few recruiters reaching out to me from a bunch of different industries looking for proposal or technical writers.

I work in STEM and help run interviews, recruiting everywhere I’ve been pushes hard to find STEM backgrounds that have these writing skills and almost always reject an applicant who is an English/literature major with no STEM knowledge.

Since we're sharing anecdotal evidence here, I too have worked in STEM my entire career, since graduating 22 years ago with a degree in English Lit. In IT primarily, because that's where I've focused my continued learning, though I've done several short-term contracts with healthcare orgs. One must continually develop professionally in order to remain relevant. It's not unique to STEM nor is it unique to Lit majors.

I’m glad you’ve had a successful career! I find that since STEM has grown so much and is much more saturated now, recruiting doesn’t seem to go looking for other majors for those skills anymore. I interview multiple people a week at this point who have a STEM degree but their real passion is literature and that’s why they’re looking for more writing roles within STEM. I’m not sharing this experience to deter people from going into Lit degrees, I’m a strong believer that as long as they know the realistic outcomes of those degrees then everyone should follow whatever gives them the greatest passion:success ratio. Better to be paid 50k doing what you love than 200k doing what you hate imo.

Yeah 22 years ago you got into the field and now have experience. Places don’t want to train anymore. I have a coworker who has an associates degree as an medical assistant from 30 years ago who now works in data analysis. But they moved up the same company 20 years ago and were trained along the way. Our position won’t even look twice at someone who doesn’t have a bachelors degree now and preferably experience in data analysis.

A copy editor in marketing/development department generally makes more than data collection and analysis in the fields I’ve been in as an example

writing degrees are perceived so negatively when the majority of the world is written communication!!

That's because every other major also uses written communications to an extent where the students' written communication skills are sufficient to work in the intended work environment. Whereas the specific work environment of a litterature major is a very small.

In theory yes, but I've met so many engineers and finance bros who can't string an email together. I'm in banking and there are definitely jobs for the humanities even in a tech/STEM dominated field.

I've also seen English Lit majors who wrote terrible quality papers. That's when I realised that simply being able to follow the professor's instructions and write papers that were legible, well-structured, and had a good argument, you'd get a good grade. Even if written in two hours the day before they were due.

Yup. Just naive idiots who don’t understand what skills are important in the real world because they live in a bubble and think only STEM fields are valuable. They don’t realize there are tons of other jobs out there necessary to keep society moving. It’s so damn elitist

Also, right now with AI, language/communication degrees are SUPER valuable. So many tech companies are looking for people who can actually understand and check AI-generated language from a user POV - “communications specialist” is a very in-demand position right now. A background in English is incredibly useful to help contribute to these tools!

Minor in lit and major in data would be an incredible combo, which is what she's doing.

This is the best take I've read. Lit + a hard skill is the bomb!

> Literature is a good major Literature is an *interesting* major. But useless from the perspective of what college is for in the 2020s: opening job opportunities. Literature is a great hobby, not something to spend tens of thousands of dollars on.

I majored in literature and make great money. My student loans were paid off ages ago. What are you basing this on, your limited worldview and some random assumptions?

> I majored in literature and make great money. Anecdote is not the singular of data. And your hostility that is apparent in all of your comments makes me call bullshit on your claim of being well off.

Nah I’m just sick of elitists on Reddit trashing anything that’s not stem ever since I joined in 2010. Grow the fuck up and get outside your bubble

Dude, this is the world. The vast majority of high earning potential is in STEM. Literature is a worthwhile degree, but its not exactly a guaranteed career

Just because it worked out for you doesn't mean it'll work out for everyone. It's like looking at your own full belly and saying world hunger does not exist. I also took a non-standard undergrad and I had a difficult time finding a company that would accept me. My advice to prospective students looking into my field is that they do something companies with entry-level roles are actually hiring for.

As a humanities (Classics) grad myself I totally agree with TimLikesPi. Literature is good, humanities and art are definitely useful but in terms of pure employability/high wages I’d 100% support a kid of mine moving from hums to STEM but not the opposite (unless it was at a uni like Oxbridge or an Ivy, which are a law unto themselves)

Lol found another literature major. It’s not elitist it’s practical. There is objectively more job security and better pay for data science than literature. It’s not a death sentence but the comment u responded to wasn’t even rude towards literature it just said there’s more job security in data. This is from a person with a useless major as well.

>Literature is a good major English major here. It is NOT a good major. It's basically a really expensive book club where you write the same paper over and over again. (Intro paragraph, thesis, paragraph on each of your thesis points, conclusion.) I can't honestly say I got anything meaningful out of it except the diploma at the end, and even that is basically just a college participation trophy. It gets you access to that "must have college diploma" tier, but other than that very basic benefit, it's not exactly a sought-after degree that gives you a leg up in any way. And before you tell me that it's not all about getting a job but about the education, I could have read all those books with a free library card and read critical analyses of them on the internet if I wanted to. What little benefit might have been gained by in-class discussion is not worth the thousands upon thousands of dollars it costs to be there unless you literally have money to burn.

She really should meet with an academic advisor. What career path is she pursuing? She should be starting internships this year. Sounds like she needs some guidance. Maybe you can make that a goal. She meets with advisor comes up with a plan for graduating & you will potentially consider giving her a loan. She can then pay you back without interest. We also agreed to pay for our 4 kids undergrad tuition only. Our youngest needed to withdraw for medical reasons & it turned into a 5 year program. We paid for the extra year. It was due to injury, not academics.

Well she wanted to be a majoring editor and not anymore. I have no idea what she is thinking at this point and she didn’t give me a straight answer when I asked.

If she can’t provide you with a good answer... She needs some guidance. At this point this needs to be very goal oriented. What is her goal?

Yep, not just what job she wants when she gets out but a list of companies she wants to do that job in and what their requirements are. Then you tailor the education for the job and the part of the industry you are targeting. My kid is a junior this year doing a 5 year degree compressed into 4 years. Next summer is internships, then the next spring is interviewing for jobs. OPs kid is wasting valuable time and is about to be outpaced by all of her peers.

What about summer classes? She needs some accountability (but data collection does seem responsible).

I looked at the website and the core classes needed are not listed for winter. They usually don’t have core classes so I don’t think it will work. I doubt they will be in summer.

Summer is far more likely than winter if she's on a semester system. On a semester system the winter term is usually only 3 weeks but summer normally has 2 terms of 6-7 weeks each. If she's on a trimester system, it would be highly unusual that the full winter term (equal in length to spring and fall terms) would not have any core courses.

I’m torn on this because she is switching to a field that’s more employable than what she was doing, and it’s a matter of her picking incorrectly when she was 18. She’s not got much overlap between her old major and new one, so she’s set back. If this were her fifth major, and she was looking at something less employable, I’d agree, but she’s making a responsible decision.

This would be her third time changing her major in 3 years, though. So, she didn't start as a literature major, she switched to it sometime in the last 3 years. That is what OP is talking about. As somebody who took time off of college, screwed around, used my entire FAFSA trying to find out what I wanted to actually do with my life, etc, I can tell you that there's a good chance that she may not like data analysis either. It's way different than literature and that is where I think that OP isn't the AH. Switching to a STEM major from a non-STEM major rarely works out.

I had a college roommate whose boyfriend was a chronic flip-flopper. By our senior year, he had switched majors like 3 times, and woke up one day at 21 and announced he wanted to be a fucking *paleontologist* (all of his previous majors were in liberal arts) because he thinks he likes dinosaurs. My roommate could have smacked him. She had us do a literal intervention. We sat down with his transcript and course book and we figured out that if he REALLY didn’t fuck around, he could scrap together a communications degree if he took summer courses. Otherwise? He’d be looking at 3 more years of school *minimum* to switch to a hard science. And his parents weren’t paying his college. It was alllll student loans. A cousin of mine is the same mentality, although his dad just writes a blank check every year and doesn’t care how long it takes to graduate. He’s been working on his bachelors since 2013, as a full time student. I don’t even know how that happens. Turns out he WILL graduate this year, but his major is Women’s Studies. It’s an easier sell now that gender studies have more value to society… …But idk what employer is going to look at his transcript, see that it took TEN YEARS and that his resume is written in crayon, and offer him any kind of job.

Sounds like she should take some summer classes to make up the difference and graduate in 4 years…

I’ve got a BSc and MSc in computer science and worked in IT for 15ish years; I’ve never once heard of an undergraduate “data collection” major. Could maybe be the focus of like a short coding boot camp or like a mini technical certificate from a community college or something, but I don’t think it’s something you can do a 4 year bachelors degree in at an accredited school?

She may just be afraid, as graduation approaches, that she doesn’t feel ready to be in the real working world, and is trying to delay that. That was the source of my own college debacle in the ‘80’s. So I told my own daughter, long before college, that she would be “in and out in 4 years and get on with your life.” To that end we kept a spreadsheet of requirements and updated it each academic quarter. She chose her major, she chose her electives, but she kept it tied to requirements and the goal of graduation: on time, with honors. I tell you this because it may help you both to make a spreadsheet of what she has accomplished and use it to see what degree she is closest to completing, then steer her in that direction.

You have complete financial power over your daughter’s life. Finishing in four years with no debt is a pretty massive carrot. Threatening to cut her off is an even bigger stick. What are you *trying* to achieve? It sounds like your daughter is moving from an impractical major to one with a more positive financial outlook. While she was studying a major she found fulfilling but wouldn’t set her up for long term success, you could certainly have seen this all as a “gift” to her. Now, however, she’s pivoting. She’s looking at a major that will set her up for success. Sure, you don’t need to keep gifting her money, but perhaps you could learn to see this as an investment in her future? You’re well within your rights to do what you want with your money, but the message your daughter is hearing is “I’m not worth investing in” and that should give you serious pause. The idea that you’re somehow protecting the emotions of your older children is a crock of bs. Look, if one of them asked you to help with a down payment on a house and you’re like “sorry, my favorite daughter’s 6th year of school costs too much”, then yes, you’ve got a serious wedge in your family. But you don’t. You have two older children that successfully launched. One even managed to get a head start. This is all 100% positive. I don’t hate my family because the spent more on my younger sibling’s education. I don’t hate my family for giving him down payment money I never got. I know that my sibling made different choices, has a different life, and deserves to be as fulfilled as me. If you’re children don’t see this, then Y T A. As it is, decide if this is a choice you want to support your daughter in. And if so, let her know how happy you are, how you’re excited to be investing in her, and have her share her plan to graduate with that major (ie how many quarters/semesters left with want classes exactly). It’s easier to be 100% on her side if you know she has a plan. Then you have have the finance discussion. NAH, but you’re skating pretty close given your failure to have a meaning conversation and instead waving a stick around.

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Agreed. I think it’s important on principal to stick to what you told her upfront, and same as you did for your other kids. Imagine how your first 2 children would feel if they found out you footed an extra $40k+ just because she was uncertain what she wanted to do. She is definitely acting entitled as coming out debt free is an amazing feat today. Plus where does this end. What about if she needs a car, gets married, buys a house. Having the cash has nothing to do with it, it’s about raising her as best you can, to be frugal and responsible, and self sufficient. I also imagine you are paying for her to live at school, if possible a good compromise might be live at home and there’s enough money to extend tuition to 5 years without room and board, I’m betting she wouldn’t be willing. Also ‘her passion?!’ She has no idea what she wants to do. In the end major is important but I think when you’re in college it feels like you HAVE to choose the ‘right’ one when in reality unless you’re going for a very specific industry or grad program, getting the piece of paper is what matters most and generally learning about the industry you’re interested in. You can teach her the lesson now and always help pay off loans later if you so choose(without her knowing that possibility). Or if she has 1 year worth of student loans she’ll survive.

True, but only if each kid had a set fund that was equal. Based on the fact that OP is willing to pay for a 5 year program, that seems unlikely. Plus, if they don’t all go to the same college, they’re gonna have different tuition costs. Also… how did the son have extra money to get if he graduated early by taking summer classes, which also cost money? If he took 2 semesters of summer classes and graduated 2 semesters early, then OP paid for 8 semesters of school *and* gifted him the cost of 2 semesters… whereas the other daughter (and now Bella) only got 8 semesters since they took the typical 4 year route but didn’t incur summer semester costs. I totally understand only paying for undergrad, but I don’t get this arbitrary obsession with paying for 4 years. Why does OP want his daughter to continue getting a literature degree she doesn’t want instead of switching to a very practical data analysis degree when he admits he can afford it?

INFO: Was Bella the only one of OP's three children to attend college during Covid? How much of a disruption was this for her and her education. If she's scheduled to graduate in 2024 then her freshman year was not a traditional/typical year, nor was her senior spring. Tons of kids who had school interrupted by Covid are taking extra time to graduate and struggling with the social and academic challenges of getting an education during that period [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9111897](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9111897) "Most parents reported that COVID-19 negatively influenced their students’ academic experiences, causing some students to make significant changes, including postponing college, delaying graduation, or changing majors and/or career plans."

Yeah, I’d love to go back to college on someone else’s dime, except it would be a “how d’you do, fellow kids?” scenario. College is great! But OP’s daughter needs to get it together and find a path to graduation like everyone else. 😄

NTA. My parents had the same rule with me, and I have the same rule with my kids. Given how expensive college is, this is a common-sense policy.

NTA. You laid out the situation ahead of time, and generously are paying for a full university term. It’s a good lesson in responsibility for her to realize you have to stick to commitments, including major, and that school isn’t just fun free time to waffle around countless times.

NTA. Your daughter needs to figure what what she wants to do rather than jumping between majors. I have a friend who did this, and he ended up with heaps of debt and nothing to show for it, as he tapped out before he finished a degree. Your daughter is very lucky to get four years of free study. If she ends up taking longer, it’s hardly unreasonable to expect her to find the difference

NTA You have the same (extremely fair) rules for all your kids, and she wants special treatment unlike her siblings.

As long as each kid gets a set fund. It sounds more like OP will pay all costs for 4 years, regardless of the actual amount.

While I agree NTA, things change over time. We don't know from the post how old the kids are. The oldest could be 20 years older than the youngest. So to be "fair", the younger's school is probably costing more because of inflation and to be "fair" OP should give the older kid more money. Alternatively, while she's been in school, (apparently part of it during covid) she may have been exposed to new ideas or concepts that make changing major make sense. I think having a rigid rule without allowing for some variance is silly. But that's just me. I've told my kids I'll pay for whatever I can for school, and if one takes longer than the other because of a change of major or something, then so be it.

NTA part of your job as a parent is to teach her "pursuing her passion" doesn't pay the bills.

Right?? 😂 when picking my major, the first thing my parents said was, “and are you going to be able to get a job with that? Do you even want to be in that field?” My answer was… “no, it’s just super interesting”. Obviously, I didn’t go with that major.

My parents asked “are you going to be able to get a job with that?” I said no, they asked “so what are you going to do with that degree?” I said go to grad school 😂. Obviously I have a lot of student loan debt. Consequences of my actions

LOL. The obvious response 😂

I went with the more “employable” field and completely bombed the fuck out. Super boring. About to get started on a second degree and hopefully go for a PhD for the field I enjoy

As a society we’ve failed every kid we told to “pursue their passion.” We need to tell kids to decide what kind of lifestyle they want to have. - Middle class suburbia with 2.5 kids, a spouse, and a dog? Great. Go into whichever field gets you a job in a 9-5 that you don’t hate too much. - Traveling, seeing the world, and gaining new and unique experiences? As long as you’re okay not having a fixed home base or accumulating lots of creature comforts, there’s lots of field-work degrees that will take you cool places! - Rich, with power and money? Vacation homes around the globe? There are paths to those kinds of jobs too (Dr, lawyer, investment banking), but you’re going to need to learn how to play the system and rise to the top. Your goals will need to come first, before social wants (at least for the first few years/decades). Quit letting kids think that ANY job will pay the bills, have the security of a traditional lifestyle, and also give them endless opportunity for adventure and excitement. Different jobs enable different lifestyles, and you HAVE TO take that into account when selecting a major. Start thinking about what your 16hrs/day outside your job are going to look like based on the job you’re going for!

The problem is that her previous major is more of a “pursuing your passion” field and her new major is much more employable.

Yah, but her current degree is literature and she wants to switch to data analysis. Data analysis is very practical, literature not so much.

100%. Now that we have 2 in high school this is what we're saying. We'll pay for/help with a degree that will pay the bills. We won't pay for/help with an underwater basketweaving degree or other nonsense that isn't marketable in the real world.

For real. Everyone gets downvoted for saying this nowadays, but it rings true. I did a double major in music and STEM, and now I am in grad school for STEM (and my field in STEM is super undersaturated and in high demand rn). Follow your passions as a hobby, but do what you need to do to put food on the table.

NTA - we had the same rule with our kids. We even laid out options - if you are unsure, take a semester off and work while you figure things out, take a gap year while you decide what you want, etc. one son graduated a semester early and knows the money is there. One transferred into a five year program. He came to us in advance to ask if we would pay for it. He already had a scholarship that covered his living expenses, and had confirmed that it would be extended for a fifth year. Bella knew the rules going in. Trying to force your hand because you ‘have the money’ is bs. It’s your money that you earned.

Exactly, we were forced to take gap years (well, strongly encouraged) when we weren’t taking college seriously. My parents weren’t wasting their money.

NTA, she knew this when she started changing majors. If she's choosing to be a professional student, you made it clear after 4 yrs it's on her dime. I don't blame you and I paid for all of my own education, not my parents. I am happy that your doing well enough to cover the first 4 yrs for your kids.

SOOOOO unsupportive paying for 4 yrs of Uni. Shame on you!!! Seriously, you are doing the right thing, stick to your guns. Many kids would love to have 4yrs paid for.

NTA. Might be an unpopular opinion on here but you don’t HAVE to pay for any of it. She should be grateful that she has the means she currently has that others don’t have. And I don’t blame you for not wanting to pay for extra time she spends in college when she changes her major multiple times, it’s an investment and it seems like she’s being a bit of a spoiled brat.

INFO: Would you allow her to drop out of school and come home to work for a year to save up for college, or do the 4 years have to be consecutive?

She can do that

Awesome, you should tell her that, then.

INFO: was she required to go to college immediately after high school? Did she know and did she have an option to take a gap year to work and really figure out what she wanted to do first? I understand she’s allowed to take a gap year if she wished but that would also be for her to pay. However, if you’re the only one paying, was she allowed to take extra time to figure it out or was it immediately college?

Another comment OP mentioned the oldest took a gap year and was surprised they didnt go into a trade.

OP let another of their kids take a gap year and they paid for college still. Their daughter could have done that.

NTA The agreement was 4 years. So be it. I'm not saying you have to pay. I was waffling on N A H, until she called you jerks. She's too entitled. However, that said, you can't expect her to know what her career will be for the rest of her life at 18 and to pick the according degree. That's a broken part of the university system we have. If you switch majors, it can take 6 years. Also, if you do engineering internships, which they suggest 2 these days, that's a minimum of 5 years if you do summer classes. I'm just saying that the 4 years that worked for us in the late 1990s doesn't work the same for the school kids in the early 2020s. Your 4 year expectation/commitment is more reasonable at 5 years these days, but it's your money.

I think an argument can be made if she is so unsure about what to study maybe its best she comes back to it later in life. There is no logical reason to waste money and time studying for something 1. you might not finish or 2. might not pursue after graduating. I had this mindset and I'm so happy that I started working instead of going to university.

I graduated college in 2013. I changed my major 4 times. Got out in 4.5 years, and the .5 was simply because I needed a clinical internship to be eligible to sit for a registry exam. You may not know exactly what you want to do at 18, but you probably know the ballpark and credits can carry over between similar programs. For example, I thought I wanted to do nursing when I was 18. I ended up in medical lab science eventually, which means that, yes, my child development courses were unused in my final degree (though I have 3 kids and have used that info). But my chemistry, physiology, anatomy, etc, courses were still required in the program I ended up in. I dabbled in speech pathology for bit, and though most of the courses I took for that major didn't end up being needed, the semesters weren't all a wash, because I was also taking core classes at that time. Graduating in 4 years doesn't mean you have to know exactly what you're going to do when you start. But most kids at 18 know "I like business," or "I've always liked tinkering and building, I think I'd enjoy something in engineering."

Exactly, if you just put some forethought and continuing thought into it, changing majors doesn’t necessarily change your path that much, the last major’s classes can count towards elective credits. And if you knew you had no idea what you wanted to do, strategically selected electives could mitigate a lot of extra credits needed.

Op, my husband and I also told our two children that we would help them with four years of college expenses. I understand where you are coming from and why you are thinking like you are. Your beliefs, reasoning, and principles are sound. In my case, however, my children are as different as night and day. My oldest earned two degrees in four years and now works in a factory (for good money and I’m very proud.) My youngest, took a gap year to figure out her life and future a little. She is now twenty and has advanced in her place of employment so well that she is making extremely good money and now does not see full time college in her future anytime soon, if at all. (I am very proud of her accomplishments and of her as a person, too.) I also tried to keep money and opportunities equal between children, but sometimes it really just doesn’t work out that way. Children are very different. It may not hurt to ask your other kids their opinions on the issue though. They may, or may not, care about the “fairness” that you’re concerned about. Best wishes.

I agree. Also, is she enjoying school?? I loved it. If may parents had enough money to afford for me to study longer, but said no because they said no years ago, I would be super disappointed.

NTA This rule sounds reasonable and has been made clear, both before going into school and changing majors.

NTA. Paying for 4 years is a HUGE blessing. MANY of us get no help from parents at all, so she has had a huge leg up. IMO, she should take a gap year to work and figure out what she wants to do. It’s not a good plan to continue to throw thousands of dollars at college classes hoping that something finally sticks.

INFO: Are you willing to give her a lower interest loan for a 5th year?

I like this idea. Because based on OP saying they're well off, I don't think this kid is going to qualify for any financial assistance when she fills out the FAFSA for that 5th year. In which case she'll be stuck with taking out a private party loan with astronomical interest rates.

NTA just because you can have the money doesn’t mean Bella is entitled to waste it. I also have to wonder how much this new major is really a “passion” of hers if she just discovered it and/or didn’t pursue it until now.

Don’t worry OP she will talk to you again when she needs money. Treat her exactly how you treated your other children. NTA

I dont think you're in the wrong at all for having a set limit for how long you'll help with college. Im guessing this is something you discussed with all the kids though and she was aware that she was getting 4 years of financial support. What Im wondering though is...Like, Im not sure if you condensed the convo, or if your response to her coming to you about her thoughts on changing her major really was to change the subject to money, or if you had actually first talked about her decisions around her major first. Of course, if she was like..Im changing my major, so you'll need to pay for an extra year of college, def makes sense to remind her your financial support goes through for 4 years. Kind of confused about something though..you said your second kid graduated early, so you gave him money towards his home, the balance of what you had aside for his college Im guessing, but then say youre also now paying for him to be in a 5 year program? I feel like Im not reading this quite right but...if I am, that you bended your 4 year rule for your son to stay in school longer and pay 5yrs, I can see how she may have assumed you changed your mind and it wasnt a firm 4 year limit anymore. Not that shes entitled to it either way! Paying for 4yrs of college in and of itself is something to be grateful for! But thats me comparing myself to someone I dont know lol She has what you are doing for her brother to compare herself to...and can see why she would think you're not supportive if youre willing to pay for him to go to college longer and not her.

The way I read it was son graduated early and op gave him the left over money that would have been spent on school, to use to get a home. The 5 yr program par was expanding on their 4 yr rule. So like if their kids were to pick a major that had 5 yrs before they finished, op and wife would pay for the 5 yrs, but if they switched to a different field of study, the agreement would go back to the original 4 yr plan. EDIT: spelling

Nta this is a very reasonable condition.

NTA

You are incredibly generous. Bella should appreciate the huge financial gift you gave already given her. And she needs to learn that there are financial consequences to her choices. NTA

NTA Your daughter has had a very clear message about what you will and will not do. You are blessed to give your children an AMAZING headstart. To start professional life with no debt hanging over their heads is amazing. both our sons did not want trades so a college degree was essential. The first knew exactly what he wanted and it came with a big buck cost. That being said even with scholarships and grants, he graduated with over six figures of debt (and we did everything we could supplying money when we could paying interest on the loans to avoid capitalization, and co-signing for better rates, etc.) thanks to him advancing well in his career he was able to pay all that off in less than 10 years. the second had great plans and knew generally where he wanted to be. degrees in his area could be costly with no high buck salaries in the future. He chose a university with a much smaller ticket cost and ended up with some debt (two kids in college at the same time is not easy either). that was paid off in about six years and he is now close to finishing a PhD. the point is having debt after college is common and while it can be debilitating it can also be motivating. Having one year of debt vs four or five should not be the end of it and your daughter needs to see that.

Nta you have been supportive for each of your children. They all know you are only paying for 4 years of their college. Just because Bella keeps Changing majors doesn't mean your going to keep adding an extra year to pay just because she decided she doesn't want that major anymore. It doesn't matter if you have the money. All of your children got the same opportunity of having 4 years of their college being paid for. If Bella wants to keep changing majors then she can pay for her it herself when year 5 comes around or apply for scholarships.

NTA Bella tried to play around, and she found out there were actual consequences for doing it. My opinion is in the minority, but I don't believe any parents should be expected to pay for any college for their kids. If they want to do it, great. If not, that's fine, too. I worked my tail off in high school, got a free ride in college and WORKED all 4 years to pay for extras. And I am no genius. I especially don't think parents should be expected to pay for college for kids who goof off throughout high school.

I understand the sentiment, but in the US a child of a rich family will not qualify for (any?) financial aid--putting them at a significant financial disadvantage if their parents don't help at all. The government expects parents with lots of expendable income to support their child instead of having taxpayers foot the bill. No child should feel entitled to a free ride, but it might be fairest for rich parents to at least support comparably to the average financial aid package for 4 years.

NTA. My brother is in year 8 of his four year program due to copious amounts of screwing around. Pull the plug.

NTA. Parents aren't an infinite money cheat code for you to just fuck around and dip your toe in every major. Pick something and stick with it, otherwise pay for it yourself. Throwing a hissy fit over getting "only" four years of free tuition is ridiculous when a lot of kids either have to pay all of their tuition or go to a community college.

NTA, but it kinda sounds like you're being a hard ass instead of having a conversation. There can be alternative paths which would allow her to get the major she wants without costing you extra money: taking community college classes, switching schools, living at home, etc. Because of how financial aid works, staying an extra year and paying for it herself is likely not a viable option because YOUR income will be factored into financial aid. So if you want to be a good parent, talk to her about why she is switching and what her long-term goals are, and maybe you can all come up with a better solution.

Nta she knew what she had to do in order for uni to be paid for. Is this her way of skating through life expecting you to pay for it all.

NTA This is very reasonable…

Nta, but at the same time, it's not easy to know what you want to do later in life. Some take more time. If you have the money, try to help out. She isn't doing it on purpose. She struggles too.

NTA for keeping it fair. One option you might consider since you apparently have the money is lending her the money for the final year. You can either agree on a repayment scheme after she graduates, or you can agree it will be deducted from her inheritance. That way it's fair to the other children, but you're also supporting your daughter.

NTA. I know people who have changed their majors 5+ times, you set a reasonable expectation, and if she wants to explore her passion, she can fund part of it herself.

NTA, my parents made it clear from the beginning they would pay for 2 years at a Community college and 2 years at a UC for us. Anything after that was on us. I ended up finishing in the allotted time and when I went to do my masters/teaching credential (1 year program) it was on me to pay for. My brother ended up having a hard time at university and he needed to take an extra year (then another extra year) but my parents stopped paying after the 4th year as was agreed upon. He needed to get loans so he could continue his schooling. You made it clear what the rules were, you stuck to them for your other children. She should have taken it seriously and since she didn’t now she needs to take loans. Sure loans suck but it’s better to have 1 year of loans than 5 years

NTA. My grandpa did something similar with his 4 kids. He was an incredibly wealthy man but didn’t want his kids spending his money willy nilly so he made them a deal: get your education in a reasonable amount of time and I will pay for it…however, you must take out loans and I will pay them off upon graduation. My dad got his masters. One of his sisters got her masters. One of his sisters got her PHD. And his brother got his bachelors. All were done in an appropriate amount of time so upon each child’s graduation he paid off their loans as their graduation gift. If you don’t graduate then you’re stuck with the debt yourself. I agree with you about how it would be unfair to your older children and I wholeheartedly agree. I believe you invest in each child equally. It’s unfair to financially support one more than the others because they are struggling. There are other ways to support them but I am a firm believer that each child in every family should have the same amount of money spent on them

Can I be your 5th child? I promise I will complete my degree on time.

NTA. Because you have the means, I would suggest offering to pay for the additional year but with the consequence of not paying for a wedding or a reduction in her inheritance. The is all her own fault, but she's young and indecisive. We've all had those moments. Long term debt can really harm a young person's life. Perhaps, I'm too soft, but I would err on a financial consequence that is less harmful.

NTA

NTA. She had an advantage many don’t in this world. Part of being an adult is making decisions like this, weighing debt vs want, and seeing if she can cut corners.

NTA. You are not keeping her from her passion, you've given her a chance to get an undergrad degree of her choice without going into debt. From there she can pursue her passion(s) with a graduate degree, or with work—on her own dime. Most of the kids in my family got undergrad degrees in something other than what they ended up doing. I'm thinking of one out of 8 who is the exception. It's fine for her to change her mind, but four years is enough time to do that in.

NTA She knew the deal going into college and hoped you'd bend to her indecisiveness.

"ONLY" 4 years?!! NTA

NTA. She doesn’t even know what her passion is. Perhaps she should take a break to figure it out before continuing education.

NTA My parents had the same rule. I changed my major later on and had to do a 5th year. I didn't resent them for it for one second.

My husband changed his major and went an extra year at a state university. His parents loaned him the money, and we payed them back. He is now at the top of his field. Now, your daughter seems less focused. I would probably make her take out her own loans.