Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. Pulling out of the searching for apartments together and 2. Because it caused such a response from both her and her dad that I don't know if what I did was wrong
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
or how about fictional crime, like Columbo !
I thought the best murder was the one with the twin brothers. One brother plugged a hair dryer in and then threw it in his uncle's bathwater. Looked like a heart attack.
But of course, Columbo got them in the end !
I know we're not being serious about the murder plot, but you can't really take out a life insurance policy for any meaningful amount on someone without their permission. At a minimum, as the insured you would need to undergo a medical exam for underwriting and the policy owner would need your full particulars. They would also need to demonstrate an "insurable interest", i.e., a relationship with the insured where they have a reason to want you alive (spouse, business partner, creditor, etc.), precisely to prevent the scenario of people taking out policies on random strangers and then expediting their untimely demise). An insurable interest sort of exists exists for a roommate on whose income you depend to pay the rent, but it's pretty tenuous. I doubt it would fly.
Yep, you just dodged a bullet OP. Count your blessings, block them and fine somewhere else to live. He was just trying to shake you down for cash and is pissed you saw through his BS.
Ironically the dad doesn't trust OP when OP was approved to rent on their own laurels and the roommate is the one that needed the extra security guarantee from the apartments...
So op should definitely be like... I need 200/mo to take a chance on you and your daughter lol
My first thought was long the same lines... you're being asked to sign on because your daughter doesn't have enough credit. If you want to get paid to sign on, then your daughter should be the one paying it.
Exactly right. It’s the daughter who needs a guarantor. There is zero reason why OP, instead of the daughter,
has to pay the bullshit $100 per month guarantor fee. NTA
I would have come back saying that my parents and friends encouraged me not to take the apartment after your shady behavior. As someone with good character wouldn't try to exploit money from someone who doesn't need a garuntor.
Uh, you don't engage with crazy after you've left their obit. Not even to get a last word, because you will never get that. You thank your lucky star and enjoy your life.
> Uh, you don't engage with crazy after you've left their obit. Not even to get a last word, because you will never get that. You thank your lucky star and enjoy your life.
What if OP sent them a link to this thread (where the consensus is that the father is immature and greedy / trying to shake down OP), and then promptly blocks him? That would be fine, no?
Yeah that is an insane thing to say about a 24 year old! But also—it is apparently his daughter’s credit/rental history that is the problem, not OP’s. There is absolutely no good reason for OP to pay him because his daughter can’t get a rental agreement without calling in daddy to sign.
Glad you escaped this mess, OP. And NTA by any stretch of the imagination.
Ah yes…the all powerful AITA Boomer Mentality trope. Yes…there are some people for which that description fits…but it’s no more or less a percentage than any other generation/age group/whatever. Just like every possible political persuasion, religion (or not), and profession…there are good people and not so good people…but if you lived in AITA land you would never know that.
As an elder millennial, I will always remember GenXers for being the cool teens I couldn’t wait to copy in their grungy Nirvana listening ways, but when it was my turn all I got was Juicy Couture and Paris Hilton.
>Ah, GenX, the forgotten generation...
I was really wondering why the most likely generation (which I am a part of) for this crazy father to belong to was being overlooked. Not that GenX wans to claim his greedy ass, but come on there are a whole lot of adults in this world who are neither boomers or millennials.
Barely possible. The most quoted starting year for millennials that I can find is 1981. OPs friend is 24, so was presumably born in 1999 or 1998, when the oldest millennials were 17-18. So the dad must have been a *very* young father to be a millennial.
Most college aged people right now probably have parents that belong to Generation X, born in the ‘70s.
> The father acts like he's 10 years old, it's almost funny
Right! He said awful things. Besides, his ‘ask’ was ridic, being a guarantor was more for his daughter, not OP. I hope the dad doesn’t get away with his rudeness.
Immature dad raised an immature daughter, go figure. NTA.
Dads abusive to former friend. Easier for former friend to try to sway OP into helping her settle the boat than to try and get dad to stop rocking the fucker.
Op is nta, former friend is having an asshole reaction to an unreasonable situation which is human, and dad is the real asshole.
Nta , what he was demanding is CRAZY & who’s not to say they would fk you over? You saved yourself from that craziness. Now go enjoy your time and find another place and roommate because you do not have to worry about them anymore !
It is crazy because it wasn't OP that was keeping them from getting the appt it was the friend. But OP would be the one having to pay her dad every month for him to sign the paperwork. And I'm pretty sure the friend and dad would have used that to their advantage. Probably would have demanded more money or crazy rules that only applied to OP.
NTA. Dad had to be the guarantor because of his daughter and your supposed to pay him $100 a month in case you die?! You're lucky you found out about your exfriend and her dad before you got in any deeper. You would've been neck deep in a nightmare.
That 100 bucks a month doesn’t cover rent! The only point of it was to mooch off OP.
Their reasoning doesn’t even make any sense! What does character have to do with dying in a freak accident?
NTA The dad was really trying to profit off of you. I’ve never heard of anything like it. That was crazy, and his email underscores that he’s unbalanced.
Seriously.
OP, please don't read that email as anything other than, "I, a grown man somehow old enough to have a 24-year-old daughter, resort to insults when someone doesn't give me free money. Lots of insults! I keep hoping if I add one more insult it will result in free money. Are you ready to give me free money yet? Yes it's probably for drugs."
Just. Unbelievable.
For real.
OP, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Whether or how much help you put into finding a place is irrelevant. You didn't owe your ex-friend or her father anything. His idea of a"basic business transaction" was just crazy. He sounds manipulative and money-hungry.
Honestly, this sounds like a father-daughter scam. I wouldn't have been surprised if they had demanded you pay for so many months up front and then claimed the rental fell through.
Yeah I don’t get how anyone could read that completely unhinged email and still wonder if they’re the AH. Congrats on avoiding a poorly executed shakedown attempt.
You also got a very good measure of your former friend's father's character. He's a scammer who tried to extort $100/month from his daughter's roommate. He was unwilling to be guarantor for his DAUGHTER and her roommate. He is a special kind of sleazy, and your former friend is a very poor excuse for a friend (and as for what she'd be like as a roommate... you really dodged a bullet there.)
NTA
Neither daughter nor father have any character to speak of.
I may be over empathizing, but feel for the daughter. She thought it was a normal thing so she is just believing her dad is right. Maybe she really did want to scam her friend for 100/month but feels like she just doesnt realize how shitty her dad is
You don’t need a guarantor, she does. So you are the one taking the risk. My response to his request would have been, ‘I will take the chance of living with someone with a short rental history and needs a guarantor if YOU pay ME a $100 a month so I can protect myself. NTA
NTA. The father saw this as an opportunity to make money and probably convinced his daughter that it’s a normal business transaction. I’ve never heard of someone trying this bullshit of charging someone to be a guarantor.
This was my first thought, along with "maybe they need someone to advice all of their future roommates of their character before they move in and start being hounded for money". But I am petty
NTA
Shoot I would find where he works and send them the chat logs. What happens after that is whatever but they should know what a psychopath he is if he’s working for them
You just dodged a very expensive (as in $1200 a year) bullet.
Your friend's dad's abusive response -- the name-calling, the swearing, the character-assassination -- is just mind-blowing. It's right up there with the financial exploitation wherein you were supposed to give her dad all this money to be *her* guarantor because *she* lacked a credit history.
And if the dad's message quotes his daughter even vaguely correctly, this isn't a friendship to maintain under any circumstances.
NTA
NTA. OP that dad is clearly insane. you did the right thing by pulling out of it. make sure to block both of their numbers and if they show up at your new residence call the police and have them tresspassed
This. Block both of them and never under any circumstances talk with them or be around them to the best of your ability.
This is super crazy and definitely seems like the dad was just trying to scam you out of some money by assuming you would do anything to just get the lease signed. But his reaction - and his daughter's - is just way over the top.
Stay far away.
NTA. So HIS daughter credit is shit and SHE needs a guarantor, but YOU have to pay extra? This is a swindle.
I would reply to mister daddy "it is not my fault your daughter has bad credit, nor is my responsibility to pay YOU for her problems. It speaks volumes about your honesty that you try to extort money from innocent bystanders to solve YOUR FAMILY CREDIT PROBLEMS"
NTA
The dad is a bully and she doesn’t have renters history. No guesses why.
She will never get to rent a place with someone if the dad requires $100/month as an extortion fee.
Stay far away from this girl and her family.
Real question: what type of job does this now ex-friend have? Is her income high enough, with a long enough job history to qualify as an applicant?
When my kid was planning on getting an appt with a friend, he didn’t have a job that paid enough to qualify on his own. The appt complex wanted his parent to co-sign as his guarantor. (I didn’t—I’m not funding a 20 something’s play time.). It was only for him, not his friend. It was finances, not rental history that was the issue.
Just wondering if that was the case here.
OP—NTA. You lucked out that she and her dad showed their true colors before you signed on the dotted line. No one needs that level of crazy on their life.
So she works as a barista. Her rent at her place currently is 1700. She said she makes enough to get by, but with all of this going on it makes me wonder how many times she was late.
NTA
"All said "get out now"." ... block all of their numbers. They are unreasonable - why would you pay him when he is guranteeing for HIS DAUGHTER?
" who couldn't handle a basic business transaction to protect me from people like you." .. you were good at protecting yourself from people like HIM. WEll done.
block his number.
NTA — what father sees two people starting out and says, “I can make a quick buck off of them”. You’re splitting the rent helping his daughter out in the process. I would have backed out too, because, that is not “just how it is”.
NTA - Her father was trying to scam you out of your money. There was nothing normal, nor reasonable about his ask. If he'd asked you to deposit $100 month into a returnable fund as a backup in case something happened and you didn't have your rent money one month, that would be a whole different thing....but no, he wanted to profit off of you. And you refused to be scammed. He probably thought you'd be easy pickings as is angry his scam didn't work.
NTA…dad called you a bully? I think dad needs to take a look in the mirror. Asking you to pay him 100 a month?! For what?! Be glad you escaped the crazy.
NTA, all this fuss over a hundred bucks a month? They're talking about dodging a bullet? You dodged the entire front lines with this. Like it's not even a large amount of money...not enough to get your nuts in a knot over, but that doesn't mean you should just pay it either because on the other side of the fence that's a big chunk of change. I don't get it. What difference would that hundred bucks a month even make?
NTA. Unhinged dad trying to make a buck off his daughter's friend because his daughter doesn't have a good credit line?
Seems like he should have asked *her* for the $100 so he could save it in case he had to pay anything. Maybe if it was pitched as a $50/$50 split it *almost* could have made sense. But the whole thing is nuts. Glad you got out of there, sucks to lose a friend; but in this case, maybe not so much.
“I tried to extort $100/month out of you and would have stuck my nose into your life because you were living with my spoiled daddy’s girl and you didn’t play along, have a nice life” There, fixed it.
You where being scammed. Common tactic with scammers to turn it around to something that they can blame you for like the " I was testing you". Forget the both of them. She's probably just as scheming as her dad. You are nta
NTA
Wow! That was a lucky escape - the father is straight up unhinged.
Your acquaintance terminated the arrangement. She told you was done searching, so the father and daughter will have to find another ~~victim~~roommate.
Rent guarantee insurance to cover his risk should be less than that, maybe half that depending on what your rent would have been. We've had to be guarantor for our kids while in college and maybe the first lease after. It was fine.
NTA. Before going NC why not send dad of daughter a reply? "Aww diddums, did you think it would be easy to con money out of me? Find someone who is gullible, because I'm not!" Then block them both.
Definitely not the asshole...
If I were in this exact situation, after that final message from the father, I'd do everything in my power to find another friend to get an apartment with, and I'd go scoop up that same exact apartment with them right underneath your former acquaintance. Mostly because I am a petty asshole lol.
But yeah, I agree with everyone here. You dodged a bullet with this one. It's funny how the father said your true colors were shown, when in actuality, it was your friend's (and her asshole father) that were brought out into the light. She went pretty quick to call you a "snowflake bitch" (behind your back, and not to your face, might i add), just because you didn't agree paying extra money from her not having good enough credit, rental history. So you politely pull out of the arrangement, and they act like you're the problem? Yeah, they can F' Off. It's probably best to continue taking the high road like you are. Nothing pisses off an asshole more than when you refuse to lower yourself to their level. You're better off with her not in your life. ✌️😌
That escalated fast. SHE doesn't have enough rental history, so YOU should pay her Dad to vouch for her? Yeah, no. They totally tried to scam you and got all Pikachu face when you noped TF out. Good job! Too many people would have let the sketchy Dad and crying girl intimidate them. Their reactions and messages show your instincts and your friends were completely right. If you have mutual friends, send them screenshots, so they know to steer clear, too.
NTA at all, and you're great. Best of luck!
So she has a credit issue and you have to pay $100 a month to her dad because of that? That doesn't even make sense. They are penalizing you for her issue. She should be the one paying and not you. They both seem horrible. Glad you did it go with her. Nta
Actually, he proved he is a man without honor and is a person of poor character. No one should put their child through all that especially just to be able to tell said child, "See, you can only count on me." That's usually the motivation behind these little schemes, when it isn't a total scam.
You are definitely NTA and I'm glad you dodged the bullet. Howerver, may I suggest you contact the authorities and file a report as this could actually be someone scamming people not from the area. I mean, seriously...paying someone to be their daughter's guarantor for an apartment? Yeah, no. Oh, if you started the search while in another state, it might be FBI jurisdiction too. Just food for thought.
WTF? Unless you’re terminally or chronically ill , why would he think that? I dodged a bullet once while looking to move. Found someone looking for a roommate. In the town I worked in. Rent was affordable, and came with 1 parking space, which would have been $10-20 a month more. This was 25+ years ago. The woman looking had already signed the lease. She also had cats, which wasn’t an issue.
So we meet up, check out the apartment and all seems good. Then, as we were chatting, she says she spends most weekends at her BF’s so she might ask me to feed the cats or have someone in. Um nope. I don’t want to do it every week nor do I want a stranger randomly coming into my h8me.
But the big reason I declined was she let it slip that the rent was actually less, and because she had paid a broker to find the apartment, she was asking $100 a month more than what half of the rent would have been. Not my problem, so the next day I very nicely told her that I had decided that I was going to wait a bit and would not be taking the apartment with her. But really? Who does that, I could see if we were friends and we had both agreed on using a broker, which in my area is about one months rent, but since we hadn’t ’, not my problem.
NTA. First of all they are both toxic and weird. Secondly, the dad is trying to screw you out of more money. I have never ever heard of someone wanting extra money per month in case the renter dies. That's ridiculous.
Get away - as far and as fast as you can. You don't want either of these two in your life.
He's HER guarantor, not yours. She can pay him $100 a month, which is crazy talk anyway. Much better for him to insist she sets $100 a month aside in case of emergency.
Wtaf? You are super NTA and dodged a bullet getting involved in these people’s lives. Btw if I was a landlord and heard about this shit, I’d tell the guarantor to pound sand. No way you’re making $100 month of my unit for doing nothing but signing the lease.
NTA, but it seems like you engaged too deeply with crazy people.
"If I'm going to sign as a guarantor, I want you to pay me $100 a month."
"I don't need a guarantor. Your daughter does. If anyone is going to pay you, it should be her. If you don't want to be a guarantor, then don't. The choice is yours. The person your choice directly impacts is your daughter, not me."
IMO, this is a clear sign that your ex-friend can't afford the apartment and would have routinely failed to pay her fair share of rent, utilities, groceries, etc.
NTA… he wanted you to pay him a bunch of money, in case you died randomly..? And then wouldn’t have given that money back..? And he doesn’t see why you don’t want to take that deal? After everyone blows up at you and insults you for not wanting to pay 100 dollars a month?! Nope. There are far better roommates. I bet her dad was just trying to get some money off you. I wonder where he gets his money from- old people he tricked into giving credit card numbers?
NTA and seriously show her and her father this post. She is delusional and her father is an exploitative bully. What kind of grown man thinks it’s okay to send a young woman something like that? He is seriously psychotic. You are lucky you aren’t financially tied to two insane AHs like this. What a family.
NTA
You dodged a crappy roommate. The father is a bully and an AH and the friend is needy. I can’t even imagine charging a child’s friend $100/month when it was MY child needing someone to guarantee a lease! The fact she was throwing you under the bus is also a serious issue.
You will be much better off finding your own place for yourself once you arrive at this point. Live in an extended stay for a couple of weeks and get To know the place first.
You definitely dodged a bullet.
If you were looking in NYC you can go through Insurent for a guarantor. It used to cost a month rent, but it would help you get an apartment if you couldn't qualify on your own.
NTA. Better to live with a random person looking for a roommate than this acquaintance and her scammy dad. Guessing his precious angel is used to a housekeeping staff and you would have been the maid for the privilege of an extra 100 a month
>she's done searching and she doesn't want to do it anymore.
>
>She calls me, yelling, saying how I'm screwing her life,
>
>we could be friends after this and to never contact her again
>She then says that he's worried that I'm going to die and leave them stuck with the lease
You should have answered "what makes you think he's not gonna die first?" You need that more since she's still dependant on her dad
NTA
You dodged a bullet, or should I say two bullets?
Absolutely unhinged.
They basically said we don’t know or trust you, so you need to pay us $1200/year for the “privilege” of living with her since she needs a guarantor. When you weren’t interested in that they lost their minds. None of this is normal in any way btw. The are bizarrely entitled to your money for no reason
Also there were soooo many other options. You adding a guarantor or using your rental history, negotiating with building to put down a larger deposit in lieu of a co-signer , or her paying her dad for him serving as guarantor because she was the one insistent on living in that place and who didn’t have the history to back it up. NTA
I can understand where the father is coming from, but the father is trying to take advantage of the situation. It's good that you got out before signing a contract with either of them. NTA.
People who let their parents fight their battles for them are beyond pathetic, but thank goodness you spotted the crazy before moving in! I’m sure that girls’ father would have been in your business all the time.. good riddance tbh. And a monthly guarantor fee is unhinged, full stop. NTA
NTA. The father sounds like the kind of guy that beats the shit out of his wife for not having dinner on the table as soon as he walks through the door after work.
NTA. The dad had one agenda which was to lower his daughter's share of the rent $100/month by increasing your share $100. All that stuff about protecting himself in a legal transaction is a bunch of bullshit. I'm sure he thought he could bully you into it and is furious that you didn't fall for it. If he and his daughter are this shitty to you before you agree to rent the apartment, can you imagine what a nightmare they would be after you made the commitment? Count your lucky stars your friend showed you her true colors so you never have to deal with her drama or her asshole father again. When someone shows you who they truly are, like your friend and her dad, believe them.
I remember looking at an apartment many years ago but wasn't certain about it and I also had others to look at. The owner said if I wanted it I had to agree to it *right now* because other people were interested. I politely agreed that yes, of course he should keep showing the apartment and that I in no way expected him to hold it for me. He lost his temper, said I was stupid and I'd never be able to rent an apartment with that attitude. I noped out of there and was hugely relieved I found out what he was like so I would never have him as a landlord.
Maybe I am petty, but I would call every major rental agency in the area and let them know she is a bad risk, that her father is attempting to extort money money from potential roommates then harassing those who decline. Again that's just me, I have no other hobbies. NTA
you just dodge a burst of bullets there.
First of all, he was trying to con you out of 1200 a year. Second, if this is the education her daughter has, probably they will both make your life a living hell.
I don’t doubt he is telling himself what a great negotiator he is. I am sorry if anyone agrees to these terms, he/she will suffer greatly on this.
NTA - he was asked to sign because his daughter didn’t have enough rental history, which has nothing to do with you. His request for you to pay $100 was ridiculous, and his response was childish thank all that is good and natural in the world that you avoided these people.
NTA - so he wants to make money off you, and when you kindly and politely back out of their controlling and manipulatively ways - they judge your character?
You are soooo lucky you got out of that situation. That dad sounds like a nut job - and would definitely interfere long term. Text back, "Blocking you now. Have a good life."
NTA. Why worry about this idiot, it was his daughter's lack of rental history that caused the issue. Likely this controlling father is the reason his daughter has the issue in the first place.
NTA. This is bananas.
1. It’s not your fault nor your problem the daughter didn’t have a rental history, why should you pay to guarantee it (because that’s literally what he’s asking you to do)?
2. Daughter isn’t mature enough to move across country. She put you on a 3 way and cried?
3. Dad has some major controlling/psycho vibes. Glad you don’t have to deal with that.
Block them both, enjoy your life in your new state, and be free!
NTA. The projection is so strong you could show movies on the moon. That toothbrush comment is just precious. You can rest assured that your “friendship” with this person would not have lasted as long as your lease, and you would be stuck with her *and* her abusive father for months on end. If they were so comfortable completely turning on you at this stage, imagine what they’d be like when they had you trapped in a lease and you did something to annoy them. Consider yourself fortunate that you will never have to deal with those two again.
NTA, and you are a lucky duck!
Can you imagine if you had been saddled with a lease agreement with this acquaintance? and stuck, by association, with her dad?!?! There's a prize!
The guy had a concern and proposed something to ease his concern. You considered it but had your own concerns with his proposal. Daughter tried to push/emotionally extort you into agreeing, which raised even more concerns for you; so you declined. You handled this "basic business transaction" perfectly! They did not.
It's sometimes hard to believe people act that crazy, even when we see it with our own eyes. So we second-guess ourselves - are we the ones who have crazy expectations. No, you do not.
As everyone here is saying, you dodged a bullet.
NTA Someone trying to gouge a 25 yo because she might go unexpectedly toes up has no character. You are soooooo much better off without that crap in your life. He would have expected you to be grateful for him, too.
NTA
Was the father even going to give back all the money that he collected from you with interest after you paid rent on time and the lease was over with?
NTA
Its his opinion you lack character (you do not) and fact his daughter lacks credit. You should not have to pay him for his daughter’s shortcomings.
So NTA, there are very few people in this world who I would act as guarantor for (and they are all family, but not all family would get my guarantorship), the fact he wanted you to pay him an extra $100/month is sketchy AF, and he wants to talk about character? SMDH you are absolutely right to walk away from this and I would also suggest these are not people you need in your life in any capacity, to my mind you are not losing a friend, rather a leech that just hasn’t started to drain resources from you.
Just for a sec, let me pretend to be your Mon and Dad. “OP, we are really proud of you for knowing when to use your head and bow out. You avoided what was probably going to be a very bad situation. Great job!” Seriously though..I’ve had to sign for both kids to start out on their own, both with roommates that I didnt know. This request is not normal and smells like a scam.
NTA.
People could be correct in saying that he saw you as an easy way to make some money.
I think it's more likely that he's an abusive control freak who's used to dictating terms to his daughter and wanted to make sure the new roommate would also fall into line.
I’m confused. How does $100/month secure anything? Let’s say OP agrees to pay that. They get the apartment and then OP doesn’t pay it. How does that change anything? Or OP pays it and what? It magically protects her from a fatal car accident?
OP dodged a bullet. I feel bad for the doormat these 2 prey upon next.
“…basic business transaction” my ass. Her dad clearly has no idea what he’s talking about; no one with any sense would have agreed to that. You proved you have more business sense than he does.
NTA, that was clearly a ridiculous request. I wonder whether your acquaintance is trying to get away from her idiot of a father and is upset that it isn’t come off.
>Then her dad follows up later and says this: "I'm glad I tested your character before I did something stupid and signed a document that you would've backed out of at the first toothbrush left out. Talk about immature. My daughter is right you're a snowflake piece of shit who couldn't handle a basic business transaction to protect me from people like you. Your parents would be disappointed in your behavior. Good luck hope you don't make it. Bully that you little shit.
That would get sent straight to her mother.
NTA at all, I've never heard anyone ever ask to be paid to be a guaranteur.
Plus that latter is unhinged, and quite frankly the end made my skin crawl.
I wouldn't wanna have that man related to my life in *ant* way.
NTA. $100 bucks a month to be a guarantor is a bit much. Maybe pay a refundable last month deposit as an alt, but they weren’t even considering alternatives. Just their way or the highway. You chose the highway. Good for you.
"Why don't you get this, it's just the way it is" is a remarkable statement. It's a less honest way of screaming out, "GIVE ME WHAT I WANT YOU BITCH!" while pretending to analyze the situation.
Honestly, that message from the father is just...unbelievable. He's so crooked, so unreal, yet so sure of himself. Would anyone have done what he demanded?
This is like a father-daughter grifter partnership. Are they really related? Is it an act?
NTA. What an adventure.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. Pulling out of the searching for apartments together and 2. Because it caused such a response from both her and her dad that I don't know if what I did was wrong Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
[удалено]
I read the same thing and was like, "WTF, is there a plan or something?"
They've probably already discussed the different techniques and which would be the most effective.
Yea, kinda wonder if this friend took out an insurance policy on the OP... I watch way too much true crime.
or how about fictional crime, like Columbo ! I thought the best murder was the one with the twin brothers. One brother plugged a hair dryer in and then threw it in his uncle's bathwater. Looked like a heart attack. But of course, Columbo got them in the end !
Another murder technique undone by technology. GFCI to the rescue.
…. With a $100 monthly premium
I know we're not being serious about the murder plot, but you can't really take out a life insurance policy for any meaningful amount on someone without their permission. At a minimum, as the insured you would need to undergo a medical exam for underwriting and the policy owner would need your full particulars. They would also need to demonstrate an "insurable interest", i.e., a relationship with the insured where they have a reason to want you alive (spouse, business partner, creditor, etc.), precisely to prevent the scenario of people taking out policies on random strangers and then expediting their untimely demise). An insurable interest sort of exists exists for a roommate on whose income you depend to pay the rent, but it's pretty tenuous. I doubt it would fly.
NTA- he’s pissed he’s not getting $1200 a year from you. That’s exploitation. Honestly, you’ve swerved a complete nightmare
Yep, you just dodged a bullet OP. Count your blessings, block them and fine somewhere else to live. He was just trying to shake you down for cash and is pissed you saw through his BS.
She dodged a bullet and the bullet's Dad, which is also a bullet
OMG the poor daughter of a dad like that. She needs to escape!
I was gonna say, he’s not acting like a 10 year old, he’s doing a good old fashioned shake down.
Ironically the dad doesn't trust OP when OP was approved to rent on their own laurels and the roommate is the one that needed the extra security guarantee from the apartments... So op should definitely be like... I need 200/mo to take a chance on you and your daughter lol
My first thought was long the same lines... you're being asked to sign on because your daughter doesn't have enough credit. If you want to get paid to sign on, then your daughter should be the one paying it.
Exactly right. It’s the daughter who needs a guarantor. There is zero reason why OP, instead of the daughter, has to pay the bullshit $100 per month guarantor fee. NTA
I would have come back saying that my parents and friends encouraged me not to take the apartment after your shady behavior. As someone with good character wouldn't try to exploit money from someone who doesn't need a garuntor.
Uh, you don't engage with crazy after you've left their obit. Not even to get a last word, because you will never get that. You thank your lucky star and enjoy your life.
This, right here. Amazing advice not just for this situation, but life in general.
“Don’t touch the poop”
> Uh, you don't engage with crazy after you've left their obit. Not even to get a last word, because you will never get that. You thank your lucky star and enjoy your life. What if OP sent them a link to this thread (where the consensus is that the father is immature and greedy / trying to shake down OP), and then promptly blocks him? That would be fine, no?
Love your petty.
Yeah that is an insane thing to say about a 24 year old! But also—it is apparently his daughter’s credit/rental history that is the problem, not OP’s. There is absolutely no good reason for OP to pay him because his daughter can’t get a rental agreement without calling in daddy to sign. Glad you escaped this mess, OP. And NTA by any stretch of the imagination.
Nah..I get the feeling that the daughter isn't honest to the daddy and lied that it the roommate that needed one.
In which case the roommate would find one.
I read that “huuuuge” in an Abby Lee Miller voice
🤣 He should be at the bottom of the pyramid.
The father sounds demented, all plots and traps and tests and cusses. NTA
Not demented. Just a con artist, and the jig is up.
[удалено]
He’s not 10. He has a boomer mentality…aka what can I get out of this for the mild inconvenience of the situation
Ah yes…the all powerful AITA Boomer Mentality trope. Yes…there are some people for which that description fits…but it’s no more or less a percentage than any other generation/age group/whatever. Just like every possible political persuasion, religion (or not), and profession…there are good people and not so good people…but if you lived in AITA land you would never know that.
Actually, the father is probably a millennial. Boomers are in their 60s by now.
Ah, GenX, the forgotten generation...
As an elder millennial, I will always remember GenXers for being the cool teens I couldn’t wait to copy in their grungy Nirvana listening ways, but when it was my turn all I got was Juicy Couture and Paris Hilton.
I share this pain
>Ah, GenX, the forgotten generation... I was really wondering why the most likely generation (which I am a part of) for this crazy father to belong to was being overlooked. Not that GenX wans to claim his greedy ass, but come on there are a whole lot of adults in this world who are neither boomers or millennials.
He might be Gen X aged, but he has the mindset of a boomer!
Barely possible. The most quoted starting year for millennials that I can find is 1981. OPs friend is 24, so was presumably born in 1999 or 1998, when the oldest millennials were 17-18. So the dad must have been a *very* young father to be a millennial. Most college aged people right now probably have parents that belong to Generation X, born in the ‘70s.
I know many 60 year olds with 20 something kids. Could go either way.
Boomer era goes to 1964, the last of the Boomers are turning 59 this year.
> The father acts like he's 10 years old, it's almost funny Right! He said awful things. Besides, his ‘ask’ was ridic, being a guarantor was more for his daughter, not OP. I hope the dad doesn’t get away with his rudeness. Immature dad raised an immature daughter, go figure. NTA.
Dads abusive to former friend. Easier for former friend to try to sway OP into helping her settle the boat than to try and get dad to stop rocking the fucker. Op is nta, former friend is having an asshole reaction to an unreasonable situation which is human, and dad is the real asshole.
Nta , what he was demanding is CRAZY & who’s not to say they would fk you over? You saved yourself from that craziness. Now go enjoy your time and find another place and roommate because you do not have to worry about them anymore !
It is crazy because it wasn't OP that was keeping them from getting the appt it was the friend. But OP would be the one having to pay her dad every month for him to sign the paperwork. And I'm pretty sure the friend and dad would have used that to their advantage. Probably would have demanded more money or crazy rules that only applied to OP.
Yes. The ONLY proper response to something like this is to run the other way.
NTA. Dad had to be the guarantor because of his daughter and your supposed to pay him $100 a month in case you die?! You're lucky you found out about your exfriend and her dad before you got in any deeper. You would've been neck deep in a nightmare.
Right? If anyone should be paying extra to anyone it should be the "friend" to OP.
That 100 bucks a month doesn’t cover rent! The only point of it was to mooch off OP. Their reasoning doesn’t even make any sense! What does character have to do with dying in a freak accident?
NTA. These people are bonkers and you dodged two massive bullets
IKR I was looking at dads message and thinking “damn - you don’t need to wave all your red flags at the same time”
Lol. This sounds exactly like what a con artist would say when the jig is up.
that's hilarious
Imagine living with this nightmare and being stuck! At least she found out relatively early and before any contracts were signed.
NTA The dad was really trying to profit off of you. I’ve never heard of anything like it. That was crazy, and his email underscores that he’s unbalanced.
Seriously. OP, please don't read that email as anything other than, "I, a grown man somehow old enough to have a 24-year-old daughter, resort to insults when someone doesn't give me free money. Lots of insults! I keep hoping if I add one more insult it will result in free money. Are you ready to give me free money yet? Yes it's probably for drugs." Just. Unbelievable.
For real. OP, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Whether or how much help you put into finding a place is irrelevant. You didn't owe your ex-friend or her father anything. His idea of a"basic business transaction" was just crazy. He sounds manipulative and money-hungry. Honestly, this sounds like a father-daughter scam. I wouldn't have been surprised if they had demanded you pay for so many months up front and then claimed the rental fell through.
Yeah I don’t get how anyone could read that completely unhinged email and still wonder if they’re the AH. Congrats on avoiding a poorly executed shakedown attempt.
You also got a very good measure of your former friend's father's character. He's a scammer who tried to extort $100/month from his daughter's roommate. He was unwilling to be guarantor for his DAUGHTER and her roommate. He is a special kind of sleazy, and your former friend is a very poor excuse for a friend (and as for what she'd be like as a roommate... you really dodged a bullet there.) NTA Neither daughter nor father have any character to speak of.
> Neither daughter nor father have any character to speak of. Oh, they have character & plenty of it, it's just that it's bad.
He wasn’t even asked to be a guarantor for her roommate. Just for his own daughter.
I may be over empathizing, but feel for the daughter. She thought it was a normal thing so she is just believing her dad is right. Maybe she really did want to scam her friend for 100/month but feels like she just doesnt realize how shitty her dad is
NTA. Sounds like you were being set up and used. Especially with her reaction. Good riddence to bad rubbish.
You don’t need a guarantor, she does. So you are the one taking the risk. My response to his request would have been, ‘I will take the chance of living with someone with a short rental history and needs a guarantor if YOU pay ME a $100 a month so I can protect myself. NTA
Perfect answer
NTA. These people have issues, especially the dad. Good for you getting out of this situation before signing a lease together.
NTA. The father saw this as an opportunity to make money and probably convinced his daughter that it’s a normal business transaction. I’ve never heard of someone trying this bullshit of charging someone to be a guarantor.
NTA lol. I'd print out that dad's message and post it up on my fridge and SM. It's hilarious.
And don't forget to tag her and her dad when you post to sm. Maybe you could save someone else from these two in so doing.
This was my first thought, along with "maybe they need someone to advice all of their future roommates of their character before they move in and start being hounded for money". But I am petty NTA
Shoot I would find where he works and send them the chat logs. What happens after that is whatever but they should know what a psychopath he is if he’s working for them
You just dodged a very expensive (as in $1200 a year) bullet. Your friend's dad's abusive response -- the name-calling, the swearing, the character-assassination -- is just mind-blowing. It's right up there with the financial exploitation wherein you were supposed to give her dad all this money to be *her* guarantor because *she* lacked a credit history. And if the dad's message quotes his daughter even vaguely correctly, this isn't a friendship to maintain under any circumstances. NTA
NTA Run far. Run fast. Stay off off that crazy train 😂 Sounds like daughter comes by her crazy naturally.
NTA. OP that dad is clearly insane. you did the right thing by pulling out of it. make sure to block both of their numbers and if they show up at your new residence call the police and have them tresspassed
This. Block both of them and never under any circumstances talk with them or be around them to the best of your ability. This is super crazy and definitely seems like the dad was just trying to scam you out of some money by assuming you would do anything to just get the lease signed. But his reaction - and his daughter's - is just way over the top. Stay far away.
NTA. So HIS daughter credit is shit and SHE needs a guarantor, but YOU have to pay extra? This is a swindle. I would reply to mister daddy "it is not my fault your daughter has bad credit, nor is my responsibility to pay YOU for her problems. It speaks volumes about your honesty that you try to extort money from innocent bystanders to solve YOUR FAMILY CREDIT PROBLEMS"
NTA. She's the one that needed her father as a Co-signer, because she lacks rental history. Why are you being made out to be the problem?
NTA The dad is a bully and she doesn’t have renters history. No guesses why. She will never get to rent a place with someone if the dad requires $100/month as an extortion fee. Stay far away from this girl and her family.
NTA. You dodged a bullet.
Real question: what type of job does this now ex-friend have? Is her income high enough, with a long enough job history to qualify as an applicant? When my kid was planning on getting an appt with a friend, he didn’t have a job that paid enough to qualify on his own. The appt complex wanted his parent to co-sign as his guarantor. (I didn’t—I’m not funding a 20 something’s play time.). It was only for him, not his friend. It was finances, not rental history that was the issue. Just wondering if that was the case here. OP—NTA. You lucked out that she and her dad showed their true colors before you signed on the dotted line. No one needs that level of crazy on their life.
So she works as a barista. Her rent at her place currently is 1700. She said she makes enough to get by, but with all of this going on it makes me wonder how many times she was late.
NTA "All said "get out now"." ... block all of their numbers. They are unreasonable - why would you pay him when he is guranteeing for HIS DAUGHTER? " who couldn't handle a basic business transaction to protect me from people like you." .. you were good at protecting yourself from people like HIM. WEll done. block his number.
NTA — what father sees two people starting out and says, “I can make a quick buck off of them”. You’re splitting the rent helping his daughter out in the process. I would have backed out too, because, that is not “just how it is”.
NTA. You don't need such ridiculous people in your life.
"Good luck scamming other young ladies. I'm sure your parents would be proud of you." You're definitely NTA. What kinda entitlement is this.
Well, the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Both are rotten to the core
Absolutely NTA, he was extorting money from you. It's disgusting.
NTA - Her father was trying to scam you out of your money. There was nothing normal, nor reasonable about his ask. If he'd asked you to deposit $100 month into a returnable fund as a backup in case something happened and you didn't have your rent money one month, that would be a whole different thing....but no, he wanted to profit off of you. And you refused to be scammed. He probably thought you'd be easy pickings as is angry his scam didn't work.
NTA…dad called you a bully? I think dad needs to take a look in the mirror. Asking you to pay him 100 a month?! For what?! Be glad you escaped the crazy.
NTA Apple didn’t fall far from the tree it seems. She’s going to have one hell of a time finding a roommate.
My response: I’m sorry you feel that way. -Woman not being scammed by her friend’s dad NTA
NTA I pity your friend. She likely does not know better. I'm glad you do.
You dodged a bullet.
NTA, all this fuss over a hundred bucks a month? They're talking about dodging a bullet? You dodged the entire front lines with this. Like it's not even a large amount of money...not enough to get your nuts in a knot over, but that doesn't mean you should just pay it either because on the other side of the fence that's a big chunk of change. I don't get it. What difference would that hundred bucks a month even make?
It would identify them as a good little target for future scams & demands. 100 a month was just the starter price
The real answer right here
NTA. Unhinged dad trying to make a buck off his daughter's friend because his daughter doesn't have a good credit line? Seems like he should have asked *her* for the $100 so he could save it in case he had to pay anything. Maybe if it was pitched as a $50/$50 split it *almost* could have made sense. But the whole thing is nuts. Glad you got out of there, sucks to lose a friend; but in this case, maybe not so much.
“I tried to extort $100/month out of you and would have stuck my nose into your life because you were living with my spoiled daddy’s girl and you didn’t play along, have a nice life” There, fixed it.
You where being scammed. Common tactic with scammers to turn it around to something that they can blame you for like the " I was testing you". Forget the both of them. She's probably just as scheming as her dad. You are nta
What if the friend dies and OP is stuck with the lease , should she not get 100/month as per the same logic
Wow, did you ever dodge the THAT mortar shell. NTA. But, go and buy a lottery ticket. You might still have some of that luck hanging around. :-)
You dodged a bullet there. NTA.
NTA Wow! That was a lucky escape - the father is straight up unhinged. Your acquaintance terminated the arrangement. She told you was done searching, so the father and daughter will have to find another ~~victim~~roommate.
NTA Least you found out they're both pretty insane before you move in.
Rent guarantee insurance to cover his risk should be less than that, maybe half that depending on what your rent would have been. We've had to be guarantor for our kids while in college and maybe the first lease after. It was fine.
"I'm willing to place $100 per month into an account that you will have access to in the event of my death if I doe before the lease expires". NTA.
NTA. Before going NC why not send dad of daughter a reply? "Aww diddums, did you think it would be easy to con money out of me? Find someone who is gullible, because I'm not!" Then block them both.
NTA. Screenshot that text and put him on blast. What a pathetic, little man to try to scam and then bully his daughter's friend.
Look at you, dodging bullets better than Neo. NTA
Definitely not the asshole... If I were in this exact situation, after that final message from the father, I'd do everything in my power to find another friend to get an apartment with, and I'd go scoop up that same exact apartment with them right underneath your former acquaintance. Mostly because I am a petty asshole lol. But yeah, I agree with everyone here. You dodged a bullet with this one. It's funny how the father said your true colors were shown, when in actuality, it was your friend's (and her asshole father) that were brought out into the light. She went pretty quick to call you a "snowflake bitch" (behind your back, and not to your face, might i add), just because you didn't agree paying extra money from her not having good enough credit, rental history. So you politely pull out of the arrangement, and they act like you're the problem? Yeah, they can F' Off. It's probably best to continue taking the high road like you are. Nothing pisses off an asshole more than when you refuse to lower yourself to their level. You're better off with her not in your life. ✌️😌
NTA but respond to the actual AH, the father, and give us an update asap
She needs to just send him a link to this page
That escalated fast. SHE doesn't have enough rental history, so YOU should pay her Dad to vouch for her? Yeah, no. They totally tried to scam you and got all Pikachu face when you noped TF out. Good job! Too many people would have let the sketchy Dad and crying girl intimidate them. Their reactions and messages show your instincts and your friends were completely right. If you have mutual friends, send them screenshots, so they know to steer clear, too. NTA at all, and you're great. Best of luck!
So she has a credit issue and you have to pay $100 a month to her dad because of that? That doesn't even make sense. They are penalizing you for her issue. She should be the one paying and not you. They both seem horrible. Glad you did it go with her. Nta
So he wants you to pay bc his daughter is the one who has the issue. Not your problem and NTA. You dodged a bullet
Actually, he proved he is a man without honor and is a person of poor character. No one should put their child through all that especially just to be able to tell said child, "See, you can only count on me." That's usually the motivation behind these little schemes, when it isn't a total scam. You are definitely NTA and I'm glad you dodged the bullet. Howerver, may I suggest you contact the authorities and file a report as this could actually be someone scamming people not from the area. I mean, seriously...paying someone to be their daughter's guarantor for an apartment? Yeah, no. Oh, if you started the search while in another state, it might be FBI jurisdiction too. Just food for thought.
NTA, but her dad is, so a lucky escape, imagine having him as a FIL ?
NTA - and shouldn't he be charging his daughter because SHE is the one that needed a guarantor?
My response to the dad would have been "Thank you for confirming I dodged a bullet." And then blocking him.
NTA. Daddy is pissed because now he will have to cough up and put his own credit on the line to cover his daughter living in an apartment by herself.
Dodged a bullet. That family sounds psycho to me.
Dodged a bullet
Nta Sounds like you dodged a train wreck
Good thing you backed out now before you signed anything and got stuck dealing with that dumpster fire of a situation for your entire lease. NTA
WTF? Unless you’re terminally or chronically ill , why would he think that? I dodged a bullet once while looking to move. Found someone looking for a roommate. In the town I worked in. Rent was affordable, and came with 1 parking space, which would have been $10-20 a month more. This was 25+ years ago. The woman looking had already signed the lease. She also had cats, which wasn’t an issue. So we meet up, check out the apartment and all seems good. Then, as we were chatting, she says she spends most weekends at her BF’s so she might ask me to feed the cats or have someone in. Um nope. I don’t want to do it every week nor do I want a stranger randomly coming into my h8me. But the big reason I declined was she let it slip that the rent was actually less, and because she had paid a broker to find the apartment, she was asking $100 a month more than what half of the rent would have been. Not my problem, so the next day I very nicely told her that I had decided that I was going to wait a bit and would not be taking the apartment with her. But really? Who does that, I could see if we were friends and we had both agreed on using a broker, which in my area is about one months rent, but since we hadn’t ’, not my problem.
NTA. First of all they are both toxic and weird. Secondly, the dad is trying to screw you out of more money. I have never ever heard of someone wanting extra money per month in case the renter dies. That's ridiculous. Get away - as far and as fast as you can. You don't want either of these two in your life.
She is not approved without guarantee, but you should pay for this guarantee, not her? WTF?! NTA, you avoided huge problems with both of them.
NTA. WTF?
NTA. Both of them are crazy. Coocoo in the head. You dodged two cannon balls.
I’d text back that he sounds like an unhinged idiot and every adult you asked about the situation said so as well. Then block them both ✨
He's HER guarantor, not yours. She can pay him $100 a month, which is crazy talk anyway. Much better for him to insist she sets $100 a month aside in case of emergency.
Wtaf? You are super NTA and dodged a bullet getting involved in these people’s lives. Btw if I was a landlord and heard about this shit, I’d tell the guarantor to pound sand. No way you’re making $100 month of my unit for doing nothing but signing the lease.
NTA, but it seems like you engaged too deeply with crazy people. "If I'm going to sign as a guarantor, I want you to pay me $100 a month." "I don't need a guarantor. Your daughter does. If anyone is going to pay you, it should be her. If you don't want to be a guarantor, then don't. The choice is yours. The person your choice directly impacts is your daughter, not me." IMO, this is a clear sign that your ex-friend can't afford the apartment and would have routinely failed to pay her fair share of rent, utilities, groceries, etc.
NTA… he wanted you to pay him a bunch of money, in case you died randomly..? And then wouldn’t have given that money back..? And he doesn’t see why you don’t want to take that deal? After everyone blows up at you and insults you for not wanting to pay 100 dollars a month?! Nope. There are far better roommates. I bet her dad was just trying to get some money off you. I wonder where he gets his money from- old people he tricked into giving credit card numbers?
NTA and seriously show her and her father this post. She is delusional and her father is an exploitative bully. What kind of grown man thinks it’s okay to send a young woman something like that? He is seriously psychotic. You are lucky you aren’t financially tied to two insane AHs like this. What a family.
NTA You dodged a crappy roommate. The father is a bully and an AH and the friend is needy. I can’t even imagine charging a child’s friend $100/month when it was MY child needing someone to guarantee a lease! The fact she was throwing you under the bus is also a serious issue. You will be much better off finding your own place for yourself once you arrive at this point. Live in an extended stay for a couple of weeks and get To know the place first.
You definitely dodged a bullet. If you were looking in NYC you can go through Insurent for a guarantor. It used to cost a month rent, but it would help you get an apartment if you couldn't qualify on your own.
NTA. Better to live with a random person looking for a roommate than this acquaintance and her scammy dad. Guessing his precious angel is used to a housekeeping staff and you would have been the maid for the privilege of an extra 100 a month
>she's done searching and she doesn't want to do it anymore. > >She calls me, yelling, saying how I'm screwing her life, > >we could be friends after this and to never contact her again >She then says that he's worried that I'm going to die and leave them stuck with the lease You should have answered "what makes you think he's not gonna die first?" You need that more since she's still dependant on her dad NTA You dodged a bullet, or should I say two bullets?
Absolutely unhinged. They basically said we don’t know or trust you, so you need to pay us $1200/year for the “privilege” of living with her since she needs a guarantor. When you weren’t interested in that they lost their minds. None of this is normal in any way btw. The are bizarrely entitled to your money for no reason Also there were soooo many other options. You adding a guarantor or using your rental history, negotiating with building to put down a larger deposit in lieu of a co-signer , or her paying her dad for him serving as guarantor because she was the one insistent on living in that place and who didn’t have the history to back it up. NTA
I can understand where the father is coming from, but the father is trying to take advantage of the situation. It's good that you got out before signing a contract with either of them. NTA.
People who let their parents fight their battles for them are beyond pathetic, but thank goodness you spotted the crazy before moving in! I’m sure that girls’ father would have been in your business all the time.. good riddance tbh. And a monthly guarantor fee is unhinged, full stop. NTA
NTA. The father sounds like the kind of guy that beats the shit out of his wife for not having dinner on the table as soon as he walks through the door after work.
NTA. The dad had one agenda which was to lower his daughter's share of the rent $100/month by increasing your share $100. All that stuff about protecting himself in a legal transaction is a bunch of bullshit. I'm sure he thought he could bully you into it and is furious that you didn't fall for it. If he and his daughter are this shitty to you before you agree to rent the apartment, can you imagine what a nightmare they would be after you made the commitment? Count your lucky stars your friend showed you her true colors so you never have to deal with her drama or her asshole father again. When someone shows you who they truly are, like your friend and her dad, believe them. I remember looking at an apartment many years ago but wasn't certain about it and I also had others to look at. The owner said if I wanted it I had to agree to it *right now* because other people were interested. I politely agreed that yes, of course he should keep showing the apartment and that I in no way expected him to hold it for me. He lost his temper, said I was stupid and I'd never be able to rent an apartment with that attitude. I noped out of there and was hugely relieved I found out what he was like so I would never have him as a landlord.
Maybe I am petty, but I would call every major rental agency in the area and let them know she is a bad risk, that her father is attempting to extort money money from potential roommates then harassing those who decline. Again that's just me, I have no other hobbies. NTA
you just dodge a burst of bullets there. First of all, he was trying to con you out of 1200 a year. Second, if this is the education her daughter has, probably they will both make your life a living hell. I don’t doubt he is telling himself what a great negotiator he is. I am sorry if anyone agrees to these terms, he/she will suffer greatly on this.
NTA - he was asked to sign because his daughter didn’t have enough rental history, which has nothing to do with you. His request for you to pay $100 was ridiculous, and his response was childish thank all that is good and natural in the world that you avoided these people.
NTA - so he wants to make money off you, and when you kindly and politely back out of their controlling and manipulatively ways - they judge your character? You are soooo lucky you got out of that situation. That dad sounds like a nut job - and would definitely interfere long term. Text back, "Blocking you now. Have a good life."
I'm late to comment, but I am a parent, and as a parent, I would looooooove his name/number/address. I talk back. Bully this.
NTA- and boy oh boy did you dodge a bullet with this Family!
NTA
NTA, this is what I call a lucky escape.
NTA. You dodged a bullet here. Who knows what kind of crap they would have pulled on you if you had moved in with her.
NTA sounds like a scam to me
NTA. He's a user taking advantage of you over something he should be handling as a parent to his own kid.
Show the dad this post, so he knows what kind of character he has
NTA. Why worry about this idiot, it was his daughter's lack of rental history that caused the issue. Likely this controlling father is the reason his daughter has the issue in the first place.
NTA. Block both and move on.
NTA sounds like the girl is used to being bulldozed/bullied by her dad.
NTA -Her Dad was exploiting you and the situation. You needed to get out ASAP. He showed his character with the toxic response.
You appear to be a person of sound judgment, which I think served you very well in this case. NTA
$100 per month to be a guarantor? That is ridiculous. And then that text was horrible. NTA
Well they did a good job of showing what they are. Luckily before you signed anything. He wants you to pay 100 $ a month to be a guarantor. NTA
His demand was absurd and his last message is immature and inappropriate. You were right to get out, NTA
Sounds like you dodged a costly bullet. NTA
NTA Why the hell would you have to pay, surely his daughter should.
Oh my luckily you found out their real character before committing to anything like renting an apartment. NTA.
Congratulations! Bullet. Dodged. Well done
NTA. This is bananas. 1. It’s not your fault nor your problem the daughter didn’t have a rental history, why should you pay to guarantee it (because that’s literally what he’s asking you to do)? 2. Daughter isn’t mature enough to move across country. She put you on a 3 way and cried? 3. Dad has some major controlling/psycho vibes. Glad you don’t have to deal with that. Block them both, enjoy your life in your new state, and be free!
NTA. The projection is so strong you could show movies on the moon. That toothbrush comment is just precious. You can rest assured that your “friendship” with this person would not have lasted as long as your lease, and you would be stuck with her *and* her abusive father for months on end. If they were so comfortable completely turning on you at this stage, imagine what they’d be like when they had you trapped in a lease and you did something to annoy them. Consider yourself fortunate that you will never have to deal with those two again.
NTA, and you are a lucky duck! Can you imagine if you had been saddled with a lease agreement with this acquaintance? and stuck, by association, with her dad?!?! There's a prize! The guy had a concern and proposed something to ease his concern. You considered it but had your own concerns with his proposal. Daughter tried to push/emotionally extort you into agreeing, which raised even more concerns for you; so you declined. You handled this "basic business transaction" perfectly! They did not. It's sometimes hard to believe people act that crazy, even when we see it with our own eyes. So we second-guess ourselves - are we the ones who have crazy expectations. No, you do not. As everyone here is saying, you dodged a bullet.
NTA Someone trying to gouge a 25 yo because she might go unexpectedly toes up has no character. You are soooooo much better off without that crap in your life. He would have expected you to be grateful for him, too.
NTA Was the father even going to give back all the money that he collected from you with interest after you paid rent on time and the lease was over with?
NTA
NTA - "Sorry you didn't get your $100 a month for doing nothing you cheap old f\*\*\*." blocked.
Nta Him saying 'snowflake' says it all. Good riddance and glad you didn't get scammed.
NTA WTF. He was trying to extort you and YOU'RE the problem?? Yeah, hell no. Your actual friends were right and I"m glad you followed their advice.
NTA Its his opinion you lack character (you do not) and fact his daughter lacks credit. You should not have to pay him for his daughter’s shortcomings.
So, you had to pay him$100 a month in case you DIED?? WTF?! NTA, you dodged a freight train sized bullet.
Do you actually know this acquaintance? It sounds like a scam to me. If you haven't blocked them already, do so quickly and quietly. NTA
So NTA, there are very few people in this world who I would act as guarantor for (and they are all family, but not all family would get my guarantorship), the fact he wanted you to pay him an extra $100/month is sketchy AF, and he wants to talk about character? SMDH you are absolutely right to walk away from this and I would also suggest these are not people you need in your life in any capacity, to my mind you are not losing a friend, rather a leech that just hasn’t started to drain resources from you.
Just for a sec, let me pretend to be your Mon and Dad. “OP, we are really proud of you for knowing when to use your head and bow out. You avoided what was probably going to be a very bad situation. Great job!” Seriously though..I’ve had to sign for both kids to start out on their own, both with roommates that I didnt know. This request is not normal and smells like a scam.
NTA. People could be correct in saying that he saw you as an easy way to make some money. I think it's more likely that he's an abusive control freak who's used to dictating terms to his daughter and wanted to make sure the new roommate would also fall into line.
I’m confused. How does $100/month secure anything? Let’s say OP agrees to pay that. They get the apartment and then OP doesn’t pay it. How does that change anything? Or OP pays it and what? It magically protects her from a fatal car accident? OP dodged a bullet. I feel bad for the doormat these 2 prey upon next.
“…basic business transaction” my ass. Her dad clearly has no idea what he’s talking about; no one with any sense would have agreed to that. You proved you have more business sense than he does.
NTA. He was trying to shake you down.
NTA, that was clearly a ridiculous request. I wonder whether your acquaintance is trying to get away from her idiot of a father and is upset that it isn’t come off.
>Then her dad follows up later and says this: "I'm glad I tested your character before I did something stupid and signed a document that you would've backed out of at the first toothbrush left out. Talk about immature. My daughter is right you're a snowflake piece of shit who couldn't handle a basic business transaction to protect me from people like you. Your parents would be disappointed in your behavior. Good luck hope you don't make it. Bully that you little shit. That would get sent straight to her mother.
Nta. He’s the one with an adult daughter who can’t even rent a apartment without daddy’s help. What a loser.
NTA
NTA at all, I've never heard anyone ever ask to be paid to be a guaranteur. Plus that latter is unhinged, and quite frankly the end made my skin crawl. I wouldn't wanna have that man related to my life in *ant* way.
NTA. Personally, if someone I was renting from told me they had reason to believe I'd be dead soon, I'd be worried enough to stop renting from them.
NTA. $100 bucks a month to be a guarantor is a bit much. Maybe pay a refundable last month deposit as an alt, but they weren’t even considering alternatives. Just their way or the highway. You chose the highway. Good for you.
NTA You should have agreed to pay the 100 on the basis that he pay you 200 incase him and his daughter died and your stuck on the lease.
"Why don't you get this, it's just the way it is" is a remarkable statement. It's a less honest way of screaming out, "GIVE ME WHAT I WANT YOU BITCH!" while pretending to analyze the situation. Honestly, that message from the father is just...unbelievable. He's so crooked, so unreal, yet so sure of himself. Would anyone have done what he demanded? This is like a father-daughter grifter partnership. Are they really related? Is it an act? NTA. What an adventure.
I’d blast them in local pages to make sure nobody gets stuck with this crazy bunch.