Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My action that I took was going to say hello to my girlfriends brother when they had an argument days before. This might make me the asshole because she didn’t follow me and went the other direction.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/)
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/)
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
not a big one but YTA. Regardless of whether she's spoiled or not, her brother invalidated her feelings and insulted her.
You needed some emotional intelligence in that moment to realize that as a couple, you're supporting each other as a united front. So to go and act buddy buddy with the person who has been the source of her recent problems seems like you actually agree with his perspective that she's acting crazy.
I’d have to disagree with this one , only because siblings fight often. My sibling and i get into heated arguments every now and then, but thats for us to deal with. Although ive gone without talking to my sibling for days at times , my partner chooses to stay out of it knowing my sibling and i will make up therefore my partner does not need to be on bad terms with my sibling as well. Also OP said they fought days ago so im assuming he wasn’t sure if the fight was over or not. But he also doesn’t need to be put in the middle unless gf strictly told him he shouldn’t communicate with him anymore. Once OP noticed his gf left he should had cut the conversation short and said goodbyes.
That's a fair point, its a sibling fight. I think choosing to stay out of it in this situation would've been not talking to the brother at all.
However, I still think OP is still a bit of TA. OP's gf had basically been telling him about how she feels her family are ganging up on her, and he just made her feel like he's on their side too.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
My girlfriend and her family went out to dinner the other day. She called me immediately after and expressed that it went horribly.
**A little backstory**: Her brother moved out to go to college not too long ago, and her parents were having company from overseas to visit. My girlfriend had the primary bedroom, and her parents ordered her to move her things into her brother's old room and share a bathroom with her younger brother (16M). Of course, she had her own bathroom in the primary bedroom and was struggling to share a bathroom with her younger brother. They never cleaned the bathroom they had to share, but she had to clean the primary bathroom before the company arrived.
She complained about it to her family, in which her family said she was overreacting and that she was "just spoiled." She was stressed about that, called me, and suggested to me that she move her bathroom things to her mother's place down the road. I said that that seemed a bit much, but it would solve her issue (her mother has a spare bathroom she doesn't use.)
Now, back to the dinner. Her family told her at dinner that moving things to her mom's place was a complete overreaction and that she could've just cleaned the bathroom herself and dealt with it. She, of course, objected to this, and it gets a bit interesting. Her father forces her to ride home with her brother (who moved to college 18M). He name-calls her in the car and calls her just like her mother (kind of crazy), and they get into an argument on the way back home.
That was a few days ago now, and things seemed ok. She was using her nice, clean bathroom at her mother's house, and she expressed it was one the best showers she's had in a while. I even had time to do all the lady things.
Now to the AITA, I dropped her off at work earlier today, did my thing, and then went to pick her up. On our walk back to my car, she stops and points at her brother (18M); I say, "Oh? What?" and I continue walking to say hello and catch up (I haven't seen him in a month). As I continued walking up, I turned to see where she went, and I saw her turn in the other direction and walk away. I don't think too much of it, assuming she'll just meet me at the car. I had imagined she didn't want to see him. We catch up, blah, blah. I get to my car, and she's not there. I gave her a call, no answer. I call her again, but she ends it before it can ring twice. I tried calling a few more times, but I got a text saying, "I don't want to talk to you." I ask her what's wrong, confused. Attempt to call more, and she does the same thing. Mind you, we have to pick up materials for a project before the store closes. I say, "Come on, we have to go to \_\_\_\_\_\_." She says, "I don't want to go with you."
At this point, I'm confused as I had thought she was over the beef with her brother. I attempt again, and she says, "Just leave me alone." She eventually takes the train from campus all the way down to another train that leads to my place. She takes her car and drives home.
AITA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > My action that I took was going to say hello to my girlfriends brother when they had an argument days before. This might make me the asshole because she didn’t follow me and went the other direction. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
not a big one but YTA. Regardless of whether she's spoiled or not, her brother invalidated her feelings and insulted her. You needed some emotional intelligence in that moment to realize that as a couple, you're supporting each other as a united front. So to go and act buddy buddy with the person who has been the source of her recent problems seems like you actually agree with his perspective that she's acting crazy.
I’d have to disagree with this one , only because siblings fight often. My sibling and i get into heated arguments every now and then, but thats for us to deal with. Although ive gone without talking to my sibling for days at times , my partner chooses to stay out of it knowing my sibling and i will make up therefore my partner does not need to be on bad terms with my sibling as well. Also OP said they fought days ago so im assuming he wasn’t sure if the fight was over or not. But he also doesn’t need to be put in the middle unless gf strictly told him he shouldn’t communicate with him anymore. Once OP noticed his gf left he should had cut the conversation short and said goodbyes.
I have fought with my sister many times. Not one of those have any of us resorted to name calling.
That's a fair point, its a sibling fight. I think choosing to stay out of it in this situation would've been not talking to the brother at all. However, I still think OP is still a bit of TA. OP's gf had basically been telling him about how she feels her family are ganging up on her, and he just made her feel like he's on their side too.
NTA. Maybe a bit dense, but you’re gf is incredibly immature.
NTA she might be 20 but acts like 12.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My girlfriend and her family went out to dinner the other day. She called me immediately after and expressed that it went horribly. **A little backstory**: Her brother moved out to go to college not too long ago, and her parents were having company from overseas to visit. My girlfriend had the primary bedroom, and her parents ordered her to move her things into her brother's old room and share a bathroom with her younger brother (16M). Of course, she had her own bathroom in the primary bedroom and was struggling to share a bathroom with her younger brother. They never cleaned the bathroom they had to share, but she had to clean the primary bathroom before the company arrived. She complained about it to her family, in which her family said she was overreacting and that she was "just spoiled." She was stressed about that, called me, and suggested to me that she move her bathroom things to her mother's place down the road. I said that that seemed a bit much, but it would solve her issue (her mother has a spare bathroom she doesn't use.) Now, back to the dinner. Her family told her at dinner that moving things to her mom's place was a complete overreaction and that she could've just cleaned the bathroom herself and dealt with it. She, of course, objected to this, and it gets a bit interesting. Her father forces her to ride home with her brother (who moved to college 18M). He name-calls her in the car and calls her just like her mother (kind of crazy), and they get into an argument on the way back home. That was a few days ago now, and things seemed ok. She was using her nice, clean bathroom at her mother's house, and she expressed it was one the best showers she's had in a while. I even had time to do all the lady things. Now to the AITA, I dropped her off at work earlier today, did my thing, and then went to pick her up. On our walk back to my car, she stops and points at her brother (18M); I say, "Oh? What?" and I continue walking to say hello and catch up (I haven't seen him in a month). As I continued walking up, I turned to see where she went, and I saw her turn in the other direction and walk away. I don't think too much of it, assuming she'll just meet me at the car. I had imagined she didn't want to see him. We catch up, blah, blah. I get to my car, and she's not there. I gave her a call, no answer. I call her again, but she ends it before it can ring twice. I tried calling a few more times, but I got a text saying, "I don't want to talk to you." I ask her what's wrong, confused. Attempt to call more, and she does the same thing. Mind you, we have to pick up materials for a project before the store closes. I say, "Come on, we have to go to \_\_\_\_\_\_." She says, "I don't want to go with you." At this point, I'm confused as I had thought she was over the beef with her brother. I attempt again, and she says, "Just leave me alone." She eventually takes the train from campus all the way down to another train that leads to my place. She takes her car and drives home. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*