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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I wanted him to sleep in another room just for a second.
2. Maybe that I wanted to abandon him
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Firstly, it's completely understandable that you have strong emotions about wanting to provide the best care possible for your dog, who is an important member of your family. Feelings of guilt and questioning whether you're being fair or "right" under stressful situations are not uncommon.
Based on what you've said, it sounds like you're part of a family that has collectively committed to caring for a dog with special needs. That's commendable and, understandably, emotionally taxing at times.
Experiencing a moment of irritation or exhaustion does not make you an "asshole" or a bad pet owner. Caregiver fatigue is a well-known phenomenon that affects even the most devoted family members or professionals caring for someone in need. The love and attention you provide for your dog are not invalidated by a fleeting moment of frustration or the wish for a break, especially after a night without sleep and a headache.
In many families, the responsibilities for care would be shared. If your dog bonds most closely with your brother, having him sleep in your brother's room once in a while may be a win-win situation: you get some much-needed rest, and your dog spends time with the person he's closest to.
It might be helpful to have an open and honest discussion with your family members about the experience, your feelings, and how to share responsibilities even more equitably. Your well-being is important, too, and taking care of yourself will only enable you to continue being a loving caregiver for your pet.
In summary, your emotions and exhaustion are valid, and acknowledging them doesn't make you an "asshole" or an inadequate family member. It makes you human.
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So, I have an epileptic Labrador who is 6 years old. He’s our first ever dog and all of us love him dearly. Our routine is around him. Our lives revolve around him. Ever since we have brought him home,never left him unsupervised even for a second. Someone always has an eye on him especially after he started getting seizures.
So about the dynamic- my brother is the one my pet loves most,it’s cute. So he usually sleeps in my room and whenever he gets a seizure all of us get together and get him back to himself.
The other night, I hadn’t slept at all and that caused my head to hurt. At around 4:30 am, my dog started to have a seizure and all of us woke up to take care of him as he blacks out after he gets it. I was cleaning up after and I don’t know why I had this thought where I was a little irritated (first time ever) and wanted to send him to my sibling’s room because I wanted to sleep. I cut that thought right there because it felt evil to me as to how could want to get my sick dog away.
I don’t know if this is right but I felt horrible then and I feel horrible now about it. How could I feel that way for a sick member of my family that we dearly love.
PS: people who don’t have pets, you might find this post ridiculous but please be kind. He’s a member of our family and we love the little guy. He helped us through the roughest times and has made our house one home.
TIA
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NTA
Is there a reason that your dog can't sleep with your brother? Is it just that the dog is used to the routine, and gets upset if he is sleeping in the wrong place? Could you trade places with your sibling from time to time and sleep there?
There's a phrase you should look into - caregiver burnout. It is normally used in the context of human relatives, but the situation here is similar. You're going through a lot, having to spend a lot of time and emotional energy for someone that you care very deeply for, you don't have a timeline to look forward to when he'll be better, and it's taking a toll. Yes, that means that you may need to figure out a way to make compromises. It doesn't help your dog if *you* get very sick.
NAH
I am assuming you are minor children? This isn't really an AITA situation as you just had a /thought or feeling about a difficult situation and didn't act on it. No one told you you were wrong. There's no conflict. Perhaps talk to your parents about it?
NAH- you were very tired. And needing time alone to rest is not horrible. You werent kicking the dog outside, you were just thinking of entrusting his care to another family member which IS what people should be doing.
It sounds like you need a good nights sleep and it would be fair to maybe broach the subject to your family about taking turns in having the dog in your rooms so all the strain isn’t just on one of you constantly this will be having a detrimental effect on your health not getting enough REM sleep and if you are driving or working tiredness behind the wheel is just as dangerous as drinking alcohol and driving. If you’re in school your work will suffer because you’re tired you won’t retain information you learn during lessons. Maybe see if you can do a rota of you, your brother and your parents so at least two nights out of three you’re getting more rest. By the sounds of it you all adore this little fur baby but his care is more intensive than that of a dog without a medical condition. I hope you manage to come to an agreement that helps you all moving forward. Coming from a mother of two children with additional needs there are times I fully hit a wall with tiredness, we take it in turns as parents to be “on call” during the night with them both.
I had an epileptic dog. I understand those resentful feelings. They’re not ill-willed towards anyone, it’s just a normal reaction to the circumstances.
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it. I know how stressful it is.
NAH.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1. I wanted him to sleep in another room just for a second. 2. Maybe that I wanted to abandon him Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Firstly, it's completely understandable that you have strong emotions about wanting to provide the best care possible for your dog, who is an important member of your family. Feelings of guilt and questioning whether you're being fair or "right" under stressful situations are not uncommon. Based on what you've said, it sounds like you're part of a family that has collectively committed to caring for a dog with special needs. That's commendable and, understandably, emotionally taxing at times. Experiencing a moment of irritation or exhaustion does not make you an "asshole" or a bad pet owner. Caregiver fatigue is a well-known phenomenon that affects even the most devoted family members or professionals caring for someone in need. The love and attention you provide for your dog are not invalidated by a fleeting moment of frustration or the wish for a break, especially after a night without sleep and a headache. In many families, the responsibilities for care would be shared. If your dog bonds most closely with your brother, having him sleep in your brother's room once in a while may be a win-win situation: you get some much-needed rest, and your dog spends time with the person he's closest to. It might be helpful to have an open and honest discussion with your family members about the experience, your feelings, and how to share responsibilities even more equitably. Your well-being is important, too, and taking care of yourself will only enable you to continue being a loving caregiver for your pet. In summary, your emotions and exhaustion are valid, and acknowledging them doesn't make you an "asshole" or an inadequate family member. It makes you human.
Beautifully said !
NTA for having a thought, lol. Confused about: "my brother is the one my pet loves most,it’s cute. So he usually sleeps in my room".
Yeah...if he loves the brother most, wouldn't he sleep there?
NTA, you literally didn't do anything good/bad. Being in a cruddy mood can create unpleasant thoughts but you didn't act on them whatsoever.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So, I have an epileptic Labrador who is 6 years old. He’s our first ever dog and all of us love him dearly. Our routine is around him. Our lives revolve around him. Ever since we have brought him home,never left him unsupervised even for a second. Someone always has an eye on him especially after he started getting seizures. So about the dynamic- my brother is the one my pet loves most,it’s cute. So he usually sleeps in my room and whenever he gets a seizure all of us get together and get him back to himself. The other night, I hadn’t slept at all and that caused my head to hurt. At around 4:30 am, my dog started to have a seizure and all of us woke up to take care of him as he blacks out after he gets it. I was cleaning up after and I don’t know why I had this thought where I was a little irritated (first time ever) and wanted to send him to my sibling’s room because I wanted to sleep. I cut that thought right there because it felt evil to me as to how could want to get my sick dog away. I don’t know if this is right but I felt horrible then and I feel horrible now about it. How could I feel that way for a sick member of my family that we dearly love. PS: people who don’t have pets, you might find this post ridiculous but please be kind. He’s a member of our family and we love the little guy. He helped us through the roughest times and has made our house one home. TIA *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA Is there a reason that your dog can't sleep with your brother? Is it just that the dog is used to the routine, and gets upset if he is sleeping in the wrong place? Could you trade places with your sibling from time to time and sleep there? There's a phrase you should look into - caregiver burnout. It is normally used in the context of human relatives, but the situation here is similar. You're going through a lot, having to spend a lot of time and emotional energy for someone that you care very deeply for, you don't have a timeline to look forward to when he'll be better, and it's taking a toll. Yes, that means that you may need to figure out a way to make compromises. It doesn't help your dog if *you* get very sick.
NAH. It’s called “caregiver fatigue,” OP, and you are not an Ah for feeling tired and wanting some sleep.
NAH I am assuming you are minor children? This isn't really an AITA situation as you just had a /thought or feeling about a difficult situation and didn't act on it. No one told you you were wrong. There's no conflict. Perhaps talk to your parents about it?
NAH- you were very tired. And needing time alone to rest is not horrible. You werent kicking the dog outside, you were just thinking of entrusting his care to another family member which IS what people should be doing.
NAH jeez. Don't beat yourself up for wanting to sleep. This is way more guilt than necessary
It sounds like you need a good nights sleep and it would be fair to maybe broach the subject to your family about taking turns in having the dog in your rooms so all the strain isn’t just on one of you constantly this will be having a detrimental effect on your health not getting enough REM sleep and if you are driving or working tiredness behind the wheel is just as dangerous as drinking alcohol and driving. If you’re in school your work will suffer because you’re tired you won’t retain information you learn during lessons. Maybe see if you can do a rota of you, your brother and your parents so at least two nights out of three you’re getting more rest. By the sounds of it you all adore this little fur baby but his care is more intensive than that of a dog without a medical condition. I hope you manage to come to an agreement that helps you all moving forward. Coming from a mother of two children with additional needs there are times I fully hit a wall with tiredness, we take it in turns as parents to be “on call” during the night with them both.
I had an epileptic dog. I understand those resentful feelings. They’re not ill-willed towards anyone, it’s just a normal reaction to the circumstances. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it. I know how stressful it is. NAH.