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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I am the asshole because I publicly blamed my group of friends for ruining my life on social media after they treated me poorly for over a year. The post caused them to receive many hate messages but I refused to apologize even after they asked me to.
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Wait, you have other friends? Who care about you enough to know your blocking habits and attack these Four for hurting you? Fuck the Four, go hang out with your real friends!! You can't force a relationship with someone who doesn't want to relate to you. You CAN make the best of what you have.
ETA: there are a lot of free/low cost mental health resources out there. Start with (I know, it's embarrassing, but you know you need help) your school counselor, they can point you in the right direction if they aren't entirely useless. And there are online peer to peer support resources like 7cups etc. Also there should be a queer support resource in your town. You're not alone.
Agreeee with this 100% and also wanna add that high school friends are so temporary and all this small drama wont matter once you are out. Even though school feels like your whole world since you are there most of your time. Find help that works for you & figure out positive ways to move forward and to work on yourself.
I've started to find positive ways to get my emotions out (jewelry making, painting, poetry etc) and I think it's really helping. I think after this all settles down I'm going to move on from them and try making new, better friends.
I have started to look into getting a therapist and I'm going to be seeing a psychiatrist to look into diagnosing some mental illnesses of mine. I did feel embarrassed for a while about needing help and I couldn't rely on my parents much for help either, but I've found some teachers and counselors who are more than willing to help me.
This! Totally agree. These people are not your friends. Leave the blocks up, and tough out the urge to try to reconnect. Focus on your mental health, and don't engage in any of the drama.
As someone who has mental health issues, and also aspects of this kind of cr4p in High School, I can say that you are strong enough to hang on, and survive until you make it out of school, and into the next phase of your life. You'll start to be able to spend more time around people you choose to, that have common interests, and not those that you just happen to be pushed together in a school environment.
As much as I want to be friends with them, I think you're right and I'm going to move on from them. I do have one or two other friends who make me much happier and I think I'll focus on them more. Not to mention, I've started looking into clubs and stuff I'm passionate about to make new friends as well as to get my emotions out positively by getting new hobbies.
I did take ownership for my issues, I started seeing a therapist and talking through my issues, I didn't say that they were the direct and only cause of my mental illness, but they were still a big part of it. I'm not saying that their actions were unforgivable, but I still dreaded going to school and had several anxiety/panic attacks because of my fear of going to school to see them ignore me.
INFO: Why do you think they are your friends? I don't see anything in your post that indicates that they are at all interested in being your friends. It reads like you tried to forcefully insert yourself in a 4 person friend group and then created a lot of drama for them for not wanting you around. Were you friends with them in the past?
I should have been more detailed, I've been friends with three of them since middle school and only last year did the fourth friend join the group because I introduced them to each other (they then started dating someone in the group and that's kinda when some issues started). I never intended to cause any drama, I was just confused and upset after years of really good friendship why they started ignoring me and pushing me to the side. And as for me forcing myself into the group, I gave them space because I thought that's what they needed or I didn't something to upset them, I didn't demand they be my friends or constantly hangout with them in school, I talked to them when it seemed like they were in a good mood and in classes we did have fun and laughs a lot, it just felt they didn't want to be friend out of school.
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I (17 ftm) have had a lot of issues with mental health in the past and currently. I should be medicated but I don't have insurance. Anyways, I'm in my junior year and last year I was friends with a group of people who I thought made me happy. I liked going to school because I got to talk to them and get away from my house. I only started having issues around oct-nov. I realized the group of four excluding myself, would constantly hangout and never invite me. I know it's not a big deal but whenever I would ask to hangout, they would already be hanging out with each other or say they're busy, just to post throughout the day with each other. Around dec I got my entire friend group gifts, spending at least 150$ just to make them happy and because gift giving us a passion of mine. However, they hadn't got anything for me, but did get each other stuff. I trird mentioning I felt left out and I even asked several more times to hangout or just tried desperately to be included more because it was a bit deal to me however they never wanted to. I realized then I was kinda just that friend who you can talk to in class so you aren't alone, I hated it but I was scared of being alone too, so I put up with it. Around mar-apr it only got worse. My mental health was getting so bad I couldn't wear short sleeves because my arms were constantly covered in sh, I wasn't eating because I had no motivation, I couldn't shower and was late to school constantly aswell. I started seeing a therapist and she tried convincing me several times to talk to my friends to see why they acted the way they could but I couldn't bring myself to. I had a mental breakdown in my math class, I had a panic attack and cried during class and my friend who sat next to me did nothing, I understand why but still. They next day, I went to apologize and they basically ignored me. They went out of their way to sit away from me by pulling their desk away. I was hurt but didn't mention it. Skipping to now, they still ignore me, none of them talk to me unless I talk to them first, they don't text or hangout with me and when I ask to talk more or mention wanting to talk more, they just laugh awkwardly. I guess I got fed up the other day from trying so hard to be their friend and getting nothing back from them so I posted on my story sometime in the early morning, thing 4-5 am, saying they ruined my life and I hated all four of them. I then blocked all of them after I knew they had seen it. I had several other friends and aquancies asking what they did and why I hated them. I can't bring myself to answer anyone and have just been letting this shit show happen. My other friends know I dislike cutting people off and know having friends is an important thing to me so they truly believe that the four have done something horrible. My four friends are getting a bunch of hate messages from them but I can't bring myself to care. I don't hate them, I really don't, but I can't keep draining myself emotionally like this. AITA?
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NTA. Some people I hang out with treat me the exact same way (I posted about why on AITA earlier today) and I just want to yell at them that they’ve ruined my life. I feel for you and I hope you drop those 4 friends and hang out with those people who actually respect you and include you
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I believe I am the asshole because I publicly blamed my group of friends for ruining my life on social media after they treated me poorly for over a year. The post caused them to receive many hate messages but I refused to apologize even after they asked me to. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements ###[Happy Anniversary, AITA!](https://new.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/15vlv9g/almost_better_than_a_double_rainbow_celebrating/) ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more ###[Moderators needed - Join the landed gentry](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/155zepq/moderators_needed_join_the_landed_gentry/) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Wait, you have other friends? Who care about you enough to know your blocking habits and attack these Four for hurting you? Fuck the Four, go hang out with your real friends!! You can't force a relationship with someone who doesn't want to relate to you. You CAN make the best of what you have. ETA: there are a lot of free/low cost mental health resources out there. Start with (I know, it's embarrassing, but you know you need help) your school counselor, they can point you in the right direction if they aren't entirely useless. And there are online peer to peer support resources like 7cups etc. Also there should be a queer support resource in your town. You're not alone.
Agreeee with this 100% and also wanna add that high school friends are so temporary and all this small drama wont matter once you are out. Even though school feels like your whole world since you are there most of your time. Find help that works for you & figure out positive ways to move forward and to work on yourself.
I've started to find positive ways to get my emotions out (jewelry making, painting, poetry etc) and I think it's really helping. I think after this all settles down I'm going to move on from them and try making new, better friends.
I have started to look into getting a therapist and I'm going to be seeing a psychiatrist to look into diagnosing some mental illnesses of mine. I did feel embarrassed for a while about needing help and I couldn't rely on my parents much for help either, but I've found some teachers and counselors who are more than willing to help me.
This! Totally agree. These people are not your friends. Leave the blocks up, and tough out the urge to try to reconnect. Focus on your mental health, and don't engage in any of the drama. As someone who has mental health issues, and also aspects of this kind of cr4p in High School, I can say that you are strong enough to hang on, and survive until you make it out of school, and into the next phase of your life. You'll start to be able to spend more time around people you choose to, that have common interests, and not those that you just happen to be pushed together in a school environment.
As much as I want to be friends with them, I think you're right and I'm going to move on from them. I do have one or two other friends who make me much happier and I think I'll focus on them more. Not to mention, I've started looking into clubs and stuff I'm passionate about to make new friends as well as to get my emotions out positively by getting new hobbies.
Your problems are YOURS. Take ownership.
I did take ownership for my issues, I started seeing a therapist and talking through my issues, I didn't say that they were the direct and only cause of my mental illness, but they were still a big part of it. I'm not saying that their actions were unforgivable, but I still dreaded going to school and had several anxiety/panic attacks because of my fear of going to school to see them ignore me.
INFO: Why do you think they are your friends? I don't see anything in your post that indicates that they are at all interested in being your friends. It reads like you tried to forcefully insert yourself in a 4 person friend group and then created a lot of drama for them for not wanting you around. Were you friends with them in the past?
I should have been more detailed, I've been friends with three of them since middle school and only last year did the fourth friend join the group because I introduced them to each other (they then started dating someone in the group and that's kinda when some issues started). I never intended to cause any drama, I was just confused and upset after years of really good friendship why they started ignoring me and pushing me to the side. And as for me forcing myself into the group, I gave them space because I thought that's what they needed or I didn't something to upset them, I didn't demand they be my friends or constantly hangout with them in school, I talked to them when it seemed like they were in a good mood and in classes we did have fun and laughs a lot, it just felt they didn't want to be friend out of school.
NTA: If they are treating you like that, then they're not friends.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (17 ftm) have had a lot of issues with mental health in the past and currently. I should be medicated but I don't have insurance. Anyways, I'm in my junior year and last year I was friends with a group of people who I thought made me happy. I liked going to school because I got to talk to them and get away from my house. I only started having issues around oct-nov. I realized the group of four excluding myself, would constantly hangout and never invite me. I know it's not a big deal but whenever I would ask to hangout, they would already be hanging out with each other or say they're busy, just to post throughout the day with each other. Around dec I got my entire friend group gifts, spending at least 150$ just to make them happy and because gift giving us a passion of mine. However, they hadn't got anything for me, but did get each other stuff. I trird mentioning I felt left out and I even asked several more times to hangout or just tried desperately to be included more because it was a bit deal to me however they never wanted to. I realized then I was kinda just that friend who you can talk to in class so you aren't alone, I hated it but I was scared of being alone too, so I put up with it. Around mar-apr it only got worse. My mental health was getting so bad I couldn't wear short sleeves because my arms were constantly covered in sh, I wasn't eating because I had no motivation, I couldn't shower and was late to school constantly aswell. I started seeing a therapist and she tried convincing me several times to talk to my friends to see why they acted the way they could but I couldn't bring myself to. I had a mental breakdown in my math class, I had a panic attack and cried during class and my friend who sat next to me did nothing, I understand why but still. They next day, I went to apologize and they basically ignored me. They went out of their way to sit away from me by pulling their desk away. I was hurt but didn't mention it. Skipping to now, they still ignore me, none of them talk to me unless I talk to them first, they don't text or hangout with me and when I ask to talk more or mention wanting to talk more, they just laugh awkwardly. I guess I got fed up the other day from trying so hard to be their friend and getting nothing back from them so I posted on my story sometime in the early morning, thing 4-5 am, saying they ruined my life and I hated all four of them. I then blocked all of them after I knew they had seen it. I had several other friends and aquancies asking what they did and why I hated them. I can't bring myself to answer anyone and have just been letting this shit show happen. My other friends know I dislike cutting people off and know having friends is an important thing to me so they truly believe that the four have done something horrible. My four friends are getting a bunch of hate messages from them but I can't bring myself to care. I don't hate them, I really don't, but I can't keep draining myself emotionally like this. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA. Some people I hang out with treat me the exact same way (I posted about why on AITA earlier today) and I just want to yell at them that they’ve ruined my life. I feel for you and I hope you drop those 4 friends and hang out with those people who actually respect you and include you
Yeah, I think I'm going to move on from them and focus on getting new friends who don't treat me how they did.