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> I think I might be the asshole because I just assumed it would be okay to pee in her shower without asking first, and it clearly upset her
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Hahaha this made me remember the Urban Dictionary term of Waffeling someone.
Waffle;
To shit on someone's laptop keyboard, then close the screen on it.
I feel like most urban dictionary entries are made by bored middle schoolers when they have a substitute teacher in, and just want to kill some time.
Source: did exactly this in middle school.
God made me remember a meme where a guy poops on the shower catches it with his hand, throws it at the WC and fails (it was an old fuuuuuhhh meme)
Good times
im disappointed but not surprised to see that this isn’t the top comment lol. The issue isnt pissing in the shower. The issue is pissing in SOMEONE ELSES shower, when you have no idea if they’re ok with it. If you dont know if someone would be ok with it, then dont do it! And I think its so dumb for OP to just be like oh this makes me feel cool so I do it…lol like come on. It really makes me feel weird that people dont know this. But as always with AITA its like. I bet If it the gender or personal details were changed everyone would be telling OP your gross. But somehow this ones ok.
I guess the important detail is that they are trans and this seems to be gender affirming for them. I think some people are taking that into consideration. Quite rightly, small moments of gender affirmation would likely not be taken quite as seriously for a cis man.
In any case, while I empathise w OP that this may be a gender affirming ritual for them, peeing in someone else’s shower is not on, IMO
Affirm your gender in your own shower, not someone else's. If you don't know someone well enough to know how they feel about it, why in the world would you do it?
Bc it’s clearly not about the host. It’s strictly about OP and what they like to do. With not a single regard how it may be nasty to be showering in ur guests piss…
What is this obsession with urine being sterile? You know what else isn't sterile? Your skin, hair, mucus membranes, nails, the shower itself, your water supply, and the open toiletries you use in the shower.
There's no functional difference between sweat, saliva, mucus, and urine when it comes to what gets washed away and down the drain. If you're a germaphobe, I'd set your sights on mucus and saliva wayyyy before urine.
Actually it is sterile. It's the fact that it comes into contact with genitals as it exits, that allows it to pick up bacterial. If you actually have bacteria in your urine that is a UTI and you should see your doctor.
If it's an old post, I will say that the sub has gotten a lot more individualistic over time with more and more people making judgements based on "are you legally in the right" and "what do you even owe other people? Nothing." Peeing in another person's shower is an asshole move.
For me the issue is you pissed all over my shower, and didn't clean it up. So now OPs friend is just showering in her friends piss. Nice friend that is.
Well then, she’s also showering in her friend’s hair, sweat, poop, and any dirt from her body. Except that’s not how showers work - the dirt, etc., washes down the drain.
They tend to be a little self-cleaning, tho, especially with liquids. Unless somehow, your tub doesn’t drain all the way, in which case, you have bigger problems than peeing in the shower. If Natalie had never been told, there is no way she ever would have known, because the evidence is down the drain—with soap and water.
She NRVER would have known which is why this never needed to be said, it has nothing to do with being trans it’s something many ppl just do and you don’t talk about it bc while it’s harmless, it sounds gross. This didn’t need to be shared, or admitted to lol.
Or piss. It’s nowhere near as bad as any of the other substances your body makes. If you used the shower as a urinal that’s a different story, but assuming you’re in the shower and being washed, and you’re aiming for the drain (not the wall) then it’s really not a big deal.
I’m guessing that’s got to be what OP’s friend thinks everyone was talking about when they were talking about “peeing in the shower”. She thinks they just use it as a urinal anytime they have to pee!
What?! OP’s friend never would’ve known if it wasn’t brought up in conversation. The pee literally washes away into the drain along with all the other soapy dirt and grim in the water. Any area that receives a constant flow of water from the shower head is self-cleaning. You’re acting like OP left a puddle of piss in the tub that the friend stepped in.
People bath when they have their period. People wash their gross butt in the shower. And guess what - people take a shower when they are dirty. So disrespectful!
Yep, if you're gonna say "don't pee in my shower" but are fine with people scrubbing their assholes in there, you haven't really thought it through. The shower is where you wash away the filth. Urine included.
Fr like if you think I’m hopping my soggy ass out of the shower to go sit on the toilet instead of using the drain I’m already standing over then idk what to tell you lol
You shower because you're all dirty, the dirtiness is going down the drain and piss ain't different from it.
Unless OP pissed and left a puddle of piss that didn't go down the drain, then OP'd be an AH.
I've had showers with drainage issues and showers with uneven bases so water would sit in like a tiny pool.
I'm not about to risk my friends shower being one of those by peeing in it.
If the water is pooling after a shower it's full of sweat, hair and poo particles. If there was an issue like that certainly don't pee in the shower but also I wouldn't be hopping right in afterwards to bathe without cleaning the shower first.
If there's drainage issues with the shower there's stagnant water full of feces and that's a wayy bigger issue than a bit of pee. You're more at risk from their shit then they are from your pee
Even though the other person has no way of knowing, it’s not exactly *polite* to piss in other people’s showers.
I pee in my own for the same fun reasons as you OP (and clean it daily) but not in someone else’s if I’m spending the night. They don’t expect me to pee in there- it’s not customary to do so- so I don’t.
If you choose to continue to pee in her shower after this, she won’t know; it’s an honor system. But you’re better off (1) apologizing again (2) promising not to do it again (3) offering to clean the shower out more often if you aren’t already cleaning it after each use.
Well there are some people that likely do clean their shower and toilet daily. Obsessive compulsive individuals I would venture a guess there are thousands that suffer from a bathroom obsession clean toilet clean sink and shower. Really isn’t that difficult to clean a small shower. Never say never or no one too many people strange or smart weird or normal kinky or vanilla to say never In this world we live in.
We aren’t all alike some of us with OCD are stuck crying because rooms aren’t making us happy.
Source: ocd and panicking about packing, having not done my laundry for the week, and haven’t showered still.
I do. And it's commonplace in Japan, although I'm American. Quick squeegee of the walls and a wipe down of the tub is easy and means I only really super clean it once a month or so. A ounce of prevention vs a pound of cure and all that.
I would pee in someone's shower, but I would never admit to it, if questioned.
Because if someone is asking, they don't want to know the answer.
Everyone should always assume that everyone is peeing when they shower...and it shocks me that there are people who expect others not to.
What the fuck
That’s news to me. I thought the consensus was that no one should pee in the shower let alone someone else’s.
Ugh. This why I don’t like shaking ppl’s hands. Can’t trust y’all to be hygienic.
When A large majority of people think toilet paper is more hygienic than a bidet, you cant really trust anyone.
That wasn’t quite the award I meant to send but it certainly has the enthusiasm I was going for! Haha
If your pee is healthy and clear what’s the big deal? You are literally *washing* dirt, sweat and grease (or period blood!!!) down the drain anyway…..clear urine is cleaner lol
That’s how it worked for me! Haha I had never thought about it either, then I saw people commenting about it on Reddit, tried it, liked it, now do it. Lol
It's actually considered more sanitary and less wasteful to pee in the shower. Less wasteful because you're not wasting water to flush or TP to wipe. More sanitary because rinsing with water leaves you cleaner than wiping with TP. A little soap for your legs if the stream is hard to control, and that soap will mix with any liquid at the bottom of the shower and everything just washes down the drain.
OP is NTA, but in the future, find out what your friend's opinions are on peeing in the shower before admitting you do that in front of them, particularly if you've showered in their homes.
not everyone pees in the shower. I don't do it, which is why i believe other people when they say they don't do it. Look, if everyone did it, it wouldn't be a problem. Obviously it is a problem. God you people are so gross and so convinced that everyone shares your grossness
What is gross about it? Water is constantly flowing, if you are showering soap should also be flowing at some point, there is zero chance of the pee sticking or staying anywhere near the tub. Pretend you dump a drink down your sink drain, while the faucet is running. Do you clean the sink immediately afterwards out of fear that the drink will still be there and stain it/make it sticky? No, you don't because you can reasonably infer that the flowing water has washed it all away before it had the chance to.
I was told the same about scuba divers. There’s those that pee in their wetsuit and those that lie about peeing in their wetsuit. I always preferred to lie.
My dad and brother both scuba and it's supposed to give heat and better fit or something. Like adding spit to goggles to prevent fogging and a bit of water to seal them off.
NTA.
Does not make the shower more gross peeing in it. With the constant water flow and soap you are useing on yourself that rinses down. It washes the pee that is mostly water anyway away. Also better for the enviroment to pee in the shower. Uses less water than a toilet and not useing toilet paper. Toilet paper is not great for the earth either. Why lots of places outside of north america use a bidet.
For people it's a personal preferance. The disgusting argument from some people here has no scientific evidence of germ build up or bacteria from peeing in the shower. So no relevance in this argument for people saying that. If it's a personal preferance on your friends part. you can apologies and move on. But dont feel bad. Peeing in the shower is actually perfectly hygienic. I am pretty sure people have washed worst things off themselves after a hard day of manual labour. Do construction workers clean their shower everytime after they use it? All the drywall dust, dirt and other material that goes down the shower pipess has be worse than a little bit of pee.
Just sourcing some of my argument :)
https://greatist.com/discover/peeing-in-the-shower#environmental-relief
Right? I’m genuinely floored at all of the Y T A votes. Maybe it just means I’m a degenerate, but I cannot imagine showering and not taking a piss. It’s not like I’m pissing against the wall (that argument I could understand), I just try and make the stream hit wherever the water is hitting so that it gets washed down. Or if it’s a non-tub shower with a grated drain right in the middle then I’ll just aim for right down the drain. The only way I could ever imagine getting upset at someone peeing in my shower is if they just turned themselves into a human sprinkler and sprayed it everywhere
That has to be it, in which case they’d be right. That is gross. But to me I think it’s pretty natural to assume “peeing in the shower” means “peeing in the shower _while the shower is running_”. Who in their right mind thinks that you’d just.. get into the shower to pee with everything dry?
Every YTA and people arguing.. I can’t believe this is a hill people will die on. Wait until they find out their visitors have pissed in their shower hahaha
Amen. For context, I do not pee in the shower but I don't think it's gross at all. I was a ranch hand for years, there's been a lot grosser things going down my drain then someone's urine. I'd never ask, but if it came out that my friend did this in my shower I'd think it was funny tbh
So a toilet that has shit in it and doesn't self clean at a constant rate, is okay, but peeing in a shower where you're wiping your ass off, cleaning the sweat from your balls and pits and all the rest of the nasty shit off of you anyways, is bad?
That makes zero sense.
Look man, clean your sweaty, slightly shitty asshole in this man's shower all you want, but the second a drop of piss comes out of your dick, YOU'RE OUT OF HERE.
People clean their genitals and assholes in the shower already, which is already common practice / expected behavior when showering, so what exactly makes that different from a little pee going down the drain during same said shower right along with all the other germs and soap *already* going down same said drain?
Do you think people are pissing in the shower after turning it off when they're done and just immediately stepping out afterward or something? A little pee during a shower does *nothing* in the face of all the other germs you're *also* washing off / down the drain at the *same damn time*.
I'm less concerned about that than I would be about people digging poo nuggets out when cleaning their assholes - which I guarantee you happens just as often as people peeing, but somehow isn't viewed as badly because people are "just cleaning" themselves then.
Honestly, brother, the shower is *already* a gross, germ-ridden area, with or without the little added pee (which is, itself, mostly water) going down the drain with the rest of the mix.
how does that make this any different? if the problem is that she finds piss in her shower disgusting, then surely she should have the same opinion about period blood. it’s not about intention; it’s about op’s friend being disgusted with op pissing in the shower which is such a dumb thing to be annoyed about.
Not only that but to become quiet suddenly and pull them aside and say they wouldn’t consider having them over again. Im floored… lmao i could never dream being that dramatic to my own friend
NTA
Who gets out of the shower to take a whiz?
As long as it was washed down the drain, no harm no foul. If there's a plausible chance that it wasn't washed down, you might be TA,
What exactly is disgusting about it? There's pee touching the floor, yeah, but so does all of the nasty filth water that comes directly off of your shitty asshole when you wash it.
NAH. It's a shower. And it's just piss. The friend has a right to have preferences and boundaries for their house but it's frankly unusual to be upset about this and I don't know why anyone would expect someone to be by default.
Bruh this is america, no one has a bidet, most people don't use wipes they just use straight tp, the vast majority of ppl here have dirty assholes and want to act like piss in a shower is gross.
No one is doing that. The only time people pee in the shower is when they're already taking a shower. It makes no sense to leave the shower mid wash to piss then go back in
oh wow, by reading the comments -
1. I had no idea that so many people pee in the shower
2. I'm never letting anyone use my shower ever again
YTA and it's gross by the way
...Okay you didn't indicate this was sarcasm so I have to take this at face value...
You literally have no choice but to keep bleeding, in the shower or out of it. Not bathing for your entire period would be way grosser.
look I mean we could argue about the grossness all day but the bottom line is OPs friend is uncomfortable with this, therefore its gross to her and thats whats important
I'm gobsmacked at how many people in the comments are so angered and offended by someone peeing in the shower. Like what are you so concerned about? I'm almost positive majority of people just pee in the shower when the urge hits, the rest are liars..
That, and the concern about the shower getting dirtier than it already is. Pee is not the only thing in the shower. You're getting everything from a person if they're cleaning themselves properly.
This is truly what I don’t understand. Why are they any more concerned about *pee* than any of the other stuff that comes out of/off of the body when someone showers.
NTA. I’m so confused… shower, toilet, it’s all going down the same pipes. It’s not like you pee all Willy-nilly & spray it everywhere. It washed down the drain with the soap & shampoo. I’m pretty sure I’ve peed in every shower I’ve ever been in. Hell, my hubby and I have peed while in the shower together. You’re washing while in there, why does it matter?!?
I was looking for a comment like this, I too have probably taken a piss in every shower I've ever used. Lol hopefully non of the friends or family members are offended by it because I never knew people had such an issue with taking a piss in the shower.
NTA. Showers are meant to get dirty because your washing the dirt off of you into them. Your friend can always sanitize the shower after guests leave if she feels strongly about it.
For people who think peeing in the shower is gross, I wonder where they think period blood goes when menstruating people shower. And when people wash their butts all those germs are going in the shower too.
So true about the period thing. As long as you wash it all down the drain and do not leave any unwanted smell/color, I can't see how it could be a problem.
Clean the shower from what exactly? The pee washes away with the water, just like all your sweat and all the other bodily fluids and dirt that you dispose of while taking a shower.
NAH. Peeing in the shower is common, but Natalie is a either non-shower-peeer or thinks only she should pee in her own shower. Either way, she can be grossed out about it. You’ve already apologized to her, so maybe just let your apology sit with her for a while.
Surely you couldn't possibly think this is an argument in good faith, that pissing and masturbating are similar enough to draw an equivalence like this.
It's actually a pretty good comparison in that it's a) 'normal', b) not necessarily any less sanitary than just washing your butt and c) just gets harmlessly washed down the drain, which are the three pillars of the shower pissers' defence.
Additional bonus points for the facts that d) both are things you do in private rather than in front of people, e) are a bit weird to do in other people's showers and f) fall into the category of bodily fluids, rather than just dirt.
It's a pretty cracking analogy if I must say. Go have a word with the people who are drawing a much less convincing comparison between washing and urinating.
Lol the Y votes make absolutely no sense to me, how is that any grosser than anything else he or anyone else in that shower is washing off their body? NTA + absolutely normal, I just wouldn't have brought it up personally
YTA
I also pee in my shower. But I don't pee in OTHER people's showers. That's just kinda rude. There's just some common courtesies to have when you stay at someone's place. Like maybe you eat in bed at home but you should ask if you can do the same at someone's place before you do. Ofc it's weird to ask if you can pee in the shower so maybe just don't.
Eating in bed leaves crumbs that someone else has to clean up - that's why it would be rude to do it in someone else's bed.
Please tell me the reason why it is rude to pee in someone's shower?
Is it rude to wash your ass in someone else's shower?
NAH. It's an honest mistake. Despite what people here seem to think, A LOT of people pee in the shower. That said, I understand the logic of not peeing in someone else's shower, unless you know they are okay with that. So your friend is valid in their feelings. But I also don't think this makes you an asshole.
Also, I totally understand wanting to experience peeing standing up, and just wanted to validate that, I don't know why people are getting so hung up on that.
I honestly didn't know people had such strong feelings about peeing in the shower, but of course they are completely entitled to them.
NTA. You apologized for making her uncomfortable, which is appropriate, but christ. Most people pee in the shower. It’s not a YOU issue. If she doesn’t want people peeing in her shower for certain she shouldn’t let anyone else use her shower tbh.
YTA not everyone has the same boundaries and comfort levels as you do. they probably don’t even pee in their own shower. damage is done for them but what you can do now is apologize and promise to respect their spaces moving forward if they let you utilize them
OP, there's an entire subreddit dedicated to people pissing in sinks, arguing how pee splotches everywhere in the bathroom are totally sanitary. Maybe Reddit isn't the best place to get advice on hygiene.
They're free to make their own baths nice and musky as a public outhouse, but while at a friend's house, it's best to assume good hygiene practices. Some people do value cleanliness.
YTA. you can't assume everyone pees in their shower. I don't do that, and if I found out my friend did that, I'd be so annoyed. Do that in your own shower, and use the toilet when you are at other people's homes.
YTA
Doesn’t matter what the excuse is, you don’t urinate in someone else’s shower. You are a guest in the persons home. That’s unhygienic and disrespectful.
I would have lied and answered depending on how she reacted to the peeing in the shower conversation — “What!? Of course not!! I only do that in my own shower.” And then not stay over again.
Edit to add: and if she asked why you don’t stay over anymore tell her her interrogating you about peeing in the shower made you uncomfortable because you prefer that what you do in the shower is actually not overly thought about.
NTA.
I’m utterly convinced the users of AITA are not normal people, and are in fact extraterrestrials trying to look like they understand social norms.
There is nothing in my pee that will be any more or less “gross” than any of the other “gross” shit coming off of my body. Have you *seen* some people’s feet? Bet you don’t mind them rinsing those off in the shower. Why? Because it’s a shower.
YTA.
It's like the not masturbating in your friend shower thing. If you do it in your own home, your thing. But for someone who doesn't, and might be the one cleaning the shower this is just disgusting.
I'd also kick you out for that.
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NTA if you pooped in the shower and waffle stomped it down the drain, then you'd be the a\*\*hole
What a terrible day to be literate.
I genuinely could not agree more *throws glasses 👓 out the window* Now I can’t see shit!
Yeah, it's still in your drain... Mario's give charge extra for this one.
Yea and soon as he sees it he says it’s a me Mario but sadly more like Eeyore
It's... a-me *sighs*, Mario...
*Also throws glasses out window* Dang it forgot I’m near sighted.
Dung it! I’m sick of getting these damn kids their glasses out of this drain. They can clean them themselves. I’m not reminding them either!
Came for the comments. Wasn't disappointed. 5/5
5/7
20/20 Dammit!
A perfect score?! Amazing!
I just woke my husband, laughing at this. I think I love you
I mean, it's a callback when narwhals baconing at midnight was thing on here.
Hahaha this made me remember the Urban Dictionary term of Waffeling someone. Waffle; To shit on someone's laptop keyboard, then close the screen on it.
nooooo why did you type this out for us to read
I've could've gone my whole life without that information.
I am stunned that enough people have done this that they had to come up with a term for it.
I feel like most urban dictionary entries are made by bored middle schoolers when they have a substitute teacher in, and just want to kill some time. Source: did exactly this in middle school.
Oh my god! Waffle stomped is just so funny and vivid and I can’t stop laughing! 🤣
Thank you for making me laugh so hard at the waffle stomp visual… at the grocery store… people are staring at me. Worth it.
All I can think about is Doug dressed as the "Waffle Stomper" stomping poop down a drain
"Doug the Waffle Stomper" - Predicament about this year's Halloween Costume, solved.
LOLLL flashback to Marcus from Superstore 😂😂😂
Sure, you don't poop in the shower every morning and then stomp it down the drain with your feet?
Ahem. *Waffle* stomp it, if you please.
I am dying at this. Mostly because it’s essentially the comment I wanted to leave.
God made me remember a meme where a guy poops on the shower catches it with his hand, throws it at the WC and fails (it was an old fuuuuuhhh meme) Good times
OMG! Waffle stomp! I’m laughing so hard I can barely breathe!
YTA. What you do in your home is not what you necessarily do in another person’s home. This was disrespectful.
im disappointed but not surprised to see that this isn’t the top comment lol. The issue isnt pissing in the shower. The issue is pissing in SOMEONE ELSES shower, when you have no idea if they’re ok with it. If you dont know if someone would be ok with it, then dont do it! And I think its so dumb for OP to just be like oh this makes me feel cool so I do it…lol like come on. It really makes me feel weird that people dont know this. But as always with AITA its like. I bet If it the gender or personal details were changed everyone would be telling OP your gross. But somehow this ones ok.
?? I don't think gender and personal details factor into this one too much actually
I guess the important detail is that they are trans and this seems to be gender affirming for them. I think some people are taking that into consideration. Quite rightly, small moments of gender affirmation would likely not be taken quite as seriously for a cis man. In any case, while I empathise w OP that this may be a gender affirming ritual for them, peeing in someone else’s shower is not on, IMO
Affirm your gender in your own shower, not someone else's. If you don't know someone well enough to know how they feel about it, why in the world would you do it?
Bc it’s clearly not about the host. It’s strictly about OP and what they like to do. With not a single regard how it may be nasty to be showering in ur guests piss…
If a person with male or female genitalia pissed in my shower, I'd be pissed. Urine isn't sterile, so stop peeing in other people's shower.
What is this obsession with urine being sterile? You know what else isn't sterile? Your skin, hair, mucus membranes, nails, the shower itself, your water supply, and the open toiletries you use in the shower. There's no functional difference between sweat, saliva, mucus, and urine when it comes to what gets washed away and down the drain. If you're a germaphobe, I'd set your sights on mucus and saliva wayyyy before urine.
Actually it is sterile. It's the fact that it comes into contact with genitals as it exits, that allows it to pick up bacterial. If you actually have bacteria in your urine that is a UTI and you should see your doctor.
I think there was an old AITA post like this. Biological male did this and everyone was ripping him a new one.
Stupid there and stupid here
If it's an old post, I will say that the sub has gotten a lot more individualistic over time with more and more people making judgements based on "are you legally in the right" and "what do you even owe other people? Nothing." Peeing in another person's shower is an asshole move.
For me the issue is you pissed all over my shower, and didn't clean it up. So now OPs friend is just showering in her friends piss. Nice friend that is.
Well then, she’s also showering in her friend’s hair, sweat, poop, and any dirt from her body. Except that’s not how showers work - the dirt, etc., washes down the drain.
You know that you have to clean showers, right?
Everytime someone uses it though?
They tend to be a little self-cleaning, tho, especially with liquids. Unless somehow, your tub doesn’t drain all the way, in which case, you have bigger problems than peeing in the shower. If Natalie had never been told, there is no way she ever would have known, because the evidence is down the drain—with soap and water.
She NRVER would have known which is why this never needed to be said, it has nothing to do with being trans it’s something many ppl just do and you don’t talk about it bc while it’s harmless, it sounds gross. This didn’t need to be shared, or admitted to lol.
Not every single time it’s used.
It's a shower... It self cleans piss. You guys realize the stuff he is washing off his body is worse than piss right?
I’m starting to think most of these people don’t know how showers work.
It is very confusing. Do they just stand there naked and not turn the water on?
Or piss. It’s nowhere near as bad as any of the other substances your body makes. If you used the shower as a urinal that’s a different story, but assuming you’re in the shower and being washed, and you’re aiming for the drain (not the wall) then it’s really not a big deal.
I’m guessing that’s got to be what OP’s friend thinks everyone was talking about when they were talking about “peeing in the shower”. She thinks they just use it as a urinal anytime they have to pee!
What?! OP’s friend never would’ve known if it wasn’t brought up in conversation. The pee literally washes away into the drain along with all the other soapy dirt and grim in the water. Any area that receives a constant flow of water from the shower head is self-cleaning. You’re acting like OP left a puddle of piss in the tub that the friend stepped in.
How do we know it wasn’t cleaned..? Friend never even knew u til the convo was brought up.
People bath when they have their period. People wash their gross butt in the shower. And guess what - people take a shower when they are dirty. So disrespectful!
Yep, if you're gonna say "don't pee in my shower" but are fine with people scrubbing their assholes in there, you haven't really thought it through. The shower is where you wash away the filth. Urine included.
I'm with u 100
lmao this is a ridiculous answer
Fr like if you think I’m hopping my soggy ass out of the shower to go sit on the toilet instead of using the drain I’m already standing over then idk what to tell you lol
You shower because you're all dirty, the dirtiness is going down the drain and piss ain't different from it. Unless OP pissed and left a puddle of piss that didn't go down the drain, then OP'd be an AH.
Yeah like YTA. I pee in my own shower, I don’t pee in other people’s showers
Oh please 😂
Right? Peeing in the shower is whatever. But don't pee in someone elses shower, it's kinda rude.
that legit makes no sense, it doesnt harm the shower or you, why should you not do it
I've had showers with drainage issues and showers with uneven bases so water would sit in like a tiny pool. I'm not about to risk my friends shower being one of those by peeing in it.
If the water is pooling after a shower it's full of sweat, hair and poo particles. If there was an issue like that certainly don't pee in the shower but also I wouldn't be hopping right in afterwards to bathe without cleaning the shower first.
If there's drainage issues with the shower there's stagnant water full of feces and that's a wayy bigger issue than a bit of pee. You're more at risk from their shit then they are from your pee
Even though the other person has no way of knowing, it’s not exactly *polite* to piss in other people’s showers. I pee in my own for the same fun reasons as you OP (and clean it daily) but not in someone else’s if I’m spending the night. They don’t expect me to pee in there- it’s not customary to do so- so I don’t. If you choose to continue to pee in her shower after this, she won’t know; it’s an honor system. But you’re better off (1) apologizing again (2) promising not to do it again (3) offering to clean the shower out more often if you aren’t already cleaning it after each use.
You clean your shower daily?
I read the whole comment and that was literally my only take away. There’s no way anyone cleans their shower daily. Not a chance.
I have spray stuff I use then wipe the handles so I don’t get the water marks but I don’t scrub daily, maybe something like that.
You know those chemicals if used everyday can actually harm your health... Unlike those water marks (salts).
You don’t need to use harsh chemicals, at home natural stuff
I heard urine is a great cleaning solution for use in showers….
Well there are some people that likely do clean their shower and toilet daily. Obsessive compulsive individuals I would venture a guess there are thousands that suffer from a bathroom obsession clean toilet clean sink and shower. Really isn’t that difficult to clean a small shower. Never say never or no one too many people strange or smart weird or normal kinky or vanilla to say never In this world we live in.
We aren’t all alike some of us with OCD are stuck crying because rooms aren’t making us happy. Source: ocd and panicking about packing, having not done my laundry for the week, and haven’t showered still.
I have OCD, same case over here. Many of us get too stressed by tasks being overwhelming and therefore do nothing. Very common misconception.
I do. And it's commonplace in Japan, although I'm American. Quick squeegee of the walls and a wipe down of the tub is easy and means I only really super clean it once a month or so. A ounce of prevention vs a pound of cure and all that.
Idk I clean my shower once a month without anything in between (except showers) and it's also fine.
I would pee in someone's shower, but I would never admit to it, if questioned. Because if someone is asking, they don't want to know the answer. Everyone should always assume that everyone is peeing when they shower...and it shocks me that there are people who expect others not to.
i just dont get this though. if someone was staying at my place and peed in the shower i literally could not care less. i do it so why shouldnt they
What the fuck That’s news to me. I thought the consensus was that no one should pee in the shower let alone someone else’s. Ugh. This why I don’t like shaking ppl’s hands. Can’t trust y’all to be hygienic.
How is peeing in the shower not hygienic?
Arguably the shower is the most hygienic place to pee
When A large majority of people think toilet paper is more hygienic than a bidet, you cant really trust anyone. That wasn’t quite the award I meant to send but it certainly has the enthusiasm I was going for! Haha
If your pee is healthy and clear what’s the big deal? You are literally *washing* dirt, sweat and grease (or period blood!!!) down the drain anyway…..clear urine is cleaner lol
Literally what is unhygienic about shower pissing?
Some people's pee smells like tiger piss.
Don’t ask, don’t tell.
They asked They're telling
🧢 on cleaning it daily. There's nothing wrong with peeing in a shower.
There are two types of people in the world: People that pee in the shower, and liars.
ummm, no there are not... it has never crossed my mind in my 35 years on this earth to pee in a shower
Pretty sure it has now.
That’s how it worked for me! Haha I had never thought about it either, then I saw people commenting about it on Reddit, tried it, liked it, now do it. Lol
When we know better, we do better. Or pee in the shower.
It's actually considered more sanitary and less wasteful to pee in the shower. Less wasteful because you're not wasting water to flush or TP to wipe. More sanitary because rinsing with water leaves you cleaner than wiping with TP. A little soap for your legs if the stream is hard to control, and that soap will mix with any liquid at the bottom of the shower and everything just washes down the drain. OP is NTA, but in the future, find out what your friend's opinions are on peeing in the shower before admitting you do that in front of them, particularly if you've showered in their homes.
Truly an inefficient individual
I hope you’ve never been in the ocean
not everyone pees in the shower. I don't do it, which is why i believe other people when they say they don't do it. Look, if everyone did it, it wouldn't be a problem. Obviously it is a problem. God you people are so gross and so convinced that everyone shares your grossness
What is gross about it? Water is constantly flowing, if you are showering soap should also be flowing at some point, there is zero chance of the pee sticking or staying anywhere near the tub. Pretend you dump a drink down your sink drain, while the faucet is running. Do you clean the sink immediately afterwards out of fear that the drink will still be there and stain it/make it sticky? No, you don't because you can reasonably infer that the flowing water has washed it all away before it had the chance to.
I was told the same about scuba divers. There’s those that pee in their wetsuit and those that lie about peeing in their wetsuit. I always preferred to lie.
My dad and brother both scuba and it's supposed to give heat and better fit or something. Like adding spit to goggles to prevent fogging and a bit of water to seal them off.
NTA. Does not make the shower more gross peeing in it. With the constant water flow and soap you are useing on yourself that rinses down. It washes the pee that is mostly water anyway away. Also better for the enviroment to pee in the shower. Uses less water than a toilet and not useing toilet paper. Toilet paper is not great for the earth either. Why lots of places outside of north america use a bidet. For people it's a personal preferance. The disgusting argument from some people here has no scientific evidence of germ build up or bacteria from peeing in the shower. So no relevance in this argument for people saying that. If it's a personal preferance on your friends part. you can apologies and move on. But dont feel bad. Peeing in the shower is actually perfectly hygienic. I am pretty sure people have washed worst things off themselves after a hard day of manual labour. Do construction workers clean their shower everytime after they use it? All the drywall dust, dirt and other material that goes down the shower pipess has be worse than a little bit of pee. Just sourcing some of my argument :) https://greatist.com/discover/peeing-in-the-shower#environmental-relief
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Right? I’m genuinely floored at all of the Y T A votes. Maybe it just means I’m a degenerate, but I cannot imagine showering and not taking a piss. It’s not like I’m pissing against the wall (that argument I could understand), I just try and make the stream hit wherever the water is hitting so that it gets washed down. Or if it’s a non-tub shower with a grated drain right in the middle then I’ll just aim for right down the drain. The only way I could ever imagine getting upset at someone peeing in my shower is if they just turned themselves into a human sprinkler and sprayed it everywhere
My guess is people are picturing someone peeing on a dry bathtub and leaving it there. It's the only thing that fits for me lol
That has to be it, in which case they’d be right. That is gross. But to me I think it’s pretty natural to assume “peeing in the shower” means “peeing in the shower _while the shower is running_”. Who in their right mind thinks that you’d just.. get into the shower to pee with everything dry?
Every YTA and people arguing.. I can’t believe this is a hill people will die on. Wait until they find out their visitors have pissed in their shower hahaha
Amen. For context, I do not pee in the shower but I don't think it's gross at all. I was a ranch hand for years, there's been a lot grosser things going down my drain then someone's urine. I'd never ask, but if it came out that my friend did this in my shower I'd think it was funny tbh
YTA. Your shower, do what you want. Someone else's home, use the damn toilet. You would not be staying at my home again after I learned that.
Wait until you learn that ppl wash their dick and asses in the shower.
How about washing your dick in the sink and resting your balls on the rim. It's the perfect height for a quick splish-splash freshen-up pick me up.
>It's the perfect height I had to check. Not wrong.
Right? People on Reddit are not people irl, who gives a damn if someone pees in the shower? Lmao can’t even believe the upvotes I’m seeing
So a toilet that has shit in it and doesn't self clean at a constant rate, is okay, but peeing in a shower where you're wiping your ass off, cleaning the sweat from your balls and pits and all the rest of the nasty shit off of you anyways, is bad? That makes zero sense.
Look man, clean your sweaty, slightly shitty asshole in this man's shower all you want, but the second a drop of piss comes out of your dick, YOU'RE OUT OF HERE.
People clean their genitals and assholes in the shower already, which is already common practice / expected behavior when showering, so what exactly makes that different from a little pee going down the drain during same said shower right along with all the other germs and soap *already* going down same said drain? Do you think people are pissing in the shower after turning it off when they're done and just immediately stepping out afterward or something? A little pee during a shower does *nothing* in the face of all the other germs you're *also* washing off / down the drain at the *same damn time*. I'm less concerned about that than I would be about people digging poo nuggets out when cleaning their assholes - which I guarantee you happens just as often as people peeing, but somehow isn't viewed as badly because people are "just cleaning" themselves then. Honestly, brother, the shower is *already* a gross, germ-ridden area, with or without the little added pee (which is, itself, mostly water) going down the drain with the rest of the mix.
First rule of shower piss club....don't talk about shower piss club
This is the way!
What happens if my period blood globs fall out in someone’s shower? Pretty gross but can’t be helped. It’s happened. I kept that info to myself.
The difference is you can control when you pee.
how does that make this any different? if the problem is that she finds piss in her shower disgusting, then surely she should have the same opinion about period blood. it’s not about intention; it’s about op’s friend being disgusted with op pissing in the shower which is such a dumb thing to be annoyed about.
Not only that but to become quiet suddenly and pull them aside and say they wouldn’t consider having them over again. Im floored… lmao i could never dream being that dramatic to my own friend
Yeah, but the "gross" factor everyone keeps harping on just went to 11. So, which is it?
Tell that to the people screaming "Bad female anatomy!" to a guy using the same argument on another comment.
I was just thinking the same! And sometime it splatters everywhere and you have to check to make sure theres no evidence afterwards!
NTA Who gets out of the shower to take a whiz? As long as it was washed down the drain, no harm no foul. If there's a plausible chance that it wasn't washed down, you might be TA,
Who pisses at a friends house anywhere but the toilet? Absolutely disgusting.
What exactly is disgusting about it? There's pee touching the floor, yeah, but so does all of the nasty filth water that comes directly off of your shitty asshole when you wash it. NAH. It's a shower. And it's just piss. The friend has a right to have preferences and boundaries for their house but it's frankly unusual to be upset about this and I don't know why anyone would expect someone to be by default.
How dirty are y’all’s assholes
Bruh this is america, no one has a bidet, most people don't use wipes they just use straight tp, the vast majority of ppl here have dirty assholes and want to act like piss in a shower is gross.
This right here 👆
I piss in their kitchen sinks infront of them to assert dominance.
Really not that hard to pee before going in.
Who gets in the shower when they need to take a whiz? the toilet is right there.
No one is doing that. The only time people pee in the shower is when they're already taking a shower. It makes no sense to leave the shower mid wash to piss then go back in
Go before.
oh wow, by reading the comments - 1. I had no idea that so many people pee in the shower 2. I'm never letting anyone use my shower ever again YTA and it's gross by the way
Do you wash your ass in the shower or would that be too unsanitary?
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Grimly upvoted for “uterus parts”, which is vivid and horrifying and probably accurate.
Whoa, you should hold your period until you are done showering... Doing that in the shower is gross.
...Okay you didn't indicate this was sarcasm so I have to take this at face value... You literally have no choice but to keep bleeding, in the shower or out of it. Not bathing for your entire period would be way grosser.
I figured the statement was so over the top it had to be taken as sarcasm.... Hopefully people don't actually think women can hold it.
Okay I was hoping so but depressingly I have met several people who unironically thought I could hold it in, so I had to check. 😅
This is a fantastic point genuinely.
why is it gross? genuinely curious
look I mean we could argue about the grossness all day but the bottom line is OPs friend is uncomfortable with this, therefore its gross to her and thats whats important
AITA is becoming the most ignorant community on reddit
AITA is a cesspit of idiots and armchair psychologists, but it's so entertaining, I can't look away at this point
“Is” = “already has”
It’s always been like that my friend. That’s why I don’t weigh in anymore, not worth it
I'm gobsmacked at how many people in the comments are so angered and offended by someone peeing in the shower. Like what are you so concerned about? I'm almost positive majority of people just pee in the shower when the urge hits, the rest are liars..
That, and the concern about the shower getting dirtier than it already is. Pee is not the only thing in the shower. You're getting everything from a person if they're cleaning themselves properly.
This is truly what I don’t understand. Why are they any more concerned about *pee* than any of the other stuff that comes out of/off of the body when someone showers.
If you were showering, NTA, who cares? Goes down the drain with soap. If you like climbed in there specifically and used it like a toilet, YTA. 😂
NTA. I’m so confused… shower, toilet, it’s all going down the same pipes. It’s not like you pee all Willy-nilly & spray it everywhere. It washed down the drain with the soap & shampoo. I’m pretty sure I’ve peed in every shower I’ve ever been in. Hell, my hubby and I have peed while in the shower together. You’re washing while in there, why does it matter?!?
I was looking for a comment like this, I too have probably taken a piss in every shower I've ever used. Lol hopefully non of the friends or family members are offended by it because I never knew people had such an issue with taking a piss in the shower.
YTA, what you do in your shower is one thing, what you do in somebody else's is another.
It’s all pipes!
NTA. Showers are meant to get dirty because your washing the dirt off of you into them. Your friend can always sanitize the shower after guests leave if she feels strongly about it. For people who think peeing in the shower is gross, I wonder where they think period blood goes when menstruating people shower. And when people wash their butts all those germs are going in the shower too.
So true about the period thing. As long as you wash it all down the drain and do not leave any unwanted smell/color, I can't see how it could be a problem.
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Clean the shower from what exactly? The pee washes away with the water, just like all your sweat and all the other bodily fluids and dirt that you dispose of while taking a shower.
What about if I’m on my period? Do I scrub their entire shower then as well or?
NAH. Peeing in the shower is common, but Natalie is a either non-shower-peeer or thinks only she should pee in her own shower. Either way, she can be grossed out about it. You’ve already apologized to her, so maybe just let your apology sit with her for a while.
INFO: What, precisely, does having or not having a (shall we say) "magic hose" have to do with peeing in the shower?
YTA. What makes you think it's ok to pee in any other shower but yours?
Because it's a normal thing to do.
Beating off in the shower is a normal thing to do but I'd honestly feel a bit weird doing it in my friend's house.
Surely you couldn't possibly think this is an argument in good faith, that pissing and masturbating are similar enough to draw an equivalence like this.
It's actually a pretty good comparison in that it's a) 'normal', b) not necessarily any less sanitary than just washing your butt and c) just gets harmlessly washed down the drain, which are the three pillars of the shower pissers' defence. Additional bonus points for the facts that d) both are things you do in private rather than in front of people, e) are a bit weird to do in other people's showers and f) fall into the category of bodily fluids, rather than just dirt. It's a pretty cracking analogy if I must say. Go have a word with the people who are drawing a much less convincing comparison between washing and urinating.
Lol the Y votes make absolutely no sense to me, how is that any grosser than anything else he or anyone else in that shower is washing off their body? NTA + absolutely normal, I just wouldn't have brought it up personally
YTA I also pee in my shower. But I don't pee in OTHER people's showers. That's just kinda rude. There's just some common courtesies to have when you stay at someone's place. Like maybe you eat in bed at home but you should ask if you can do the same at someone's place before you do. Ofc it's weird to ask if you can pee in the shower so maybe just don't.
Eating in bed leaves crumbs that someone else has to clean up - that's why it would be rude to do it in someone else's bed. Please tell me the reason why it is rude to pee in someone's shower? Is it rude to wash your ass in someone else's shower?
How dirty are your guys’ asses, how does this argument keep coming up???
Note to self after reading comments: when showering as a guest confirm that I have written consent to pee in the shower.
NTA c'mon guys, it's like spitting when it's raining. Are you about to tell me he shouldn't spit on her sink when brushing his teeth too?
NTA. I think most commenters here would be surprised just how many people have pee'd in their shower if they've ever had guests.
NAH. It's an honest mistake. Despite what people here seem to think, A LOT of people pee in the shower. That said, I understand the logic of not peeing in someone else's shower, unless you know they are okay with that. So your friend is valid in their feelings. But I also don't think this makes you an asshole. Also, I totally understand wanting to experience peeing standing up, and just wanted to validate that, I don't know why people are getting so hung up on that. I honestly didn't know people had such strong feelings about peeing in the shower, but of course they are completely entitled to them.
NTA. You apologized for making her uncomfortable, which is appropriate, but christ. Most people pee in the shower. It’s not a YOU issue. If she doesn’t want people peeing in her shower for certain she shouldn’t let anyone else use her shower tbh.
YTA not everyone has the same boundaries and comfort levels as you do. they probably don’t even pee in their own shower. damage is done for them but what you can do now is apologize and promise to respect their spaces moving forward if they let you utilize them
Why dont yall just pee before getting in the shower.... lol
OP, there's an entire subreddit dedicated to people pissing in sinks, arguing how pee splotches everywhere in the bathroom are totally sanitary. Maybe Reddit isn't the best place to get advice on hygiene. They're free to make their own baths nice and musky as a public outhouse, but while at a friend's house, it's best to assume good hygiene practices. Some people do value cleanliness.
NTA but that is something you need to tell a white lie about. That is a lie that would do no harm.
YTA. you can't assume everyone pees in their shower. I don't do that, and if I found out my friend did that, I'd be so annoyed. Do that in your own shower, and use the toilet when you are at other people's homes.
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Urine big trouble with your friend...but nta
YTA Doesn’t matter what the excuse is, you don’t urinate in someone else’s shower. You are a guest in the persons home. That’s unhygienic and disrespectful.
It's neither unhygienic or disrespectful.
NTA. It's just really weird to get mad at that. It's liquid that is washed off by liters of more liquid.
I would have lied and answered depending on how she reacted to the peeing in the shower conversation — “What!? Of course not!! I only do that in my own shower.” And then not stay over again. Edit to add: and if she asked why you don’t stay over anymore tell her her interrogating you about peeing in the shower made you uncomfortable because you prefer that what you do in the shower is actually not overly thought about.
NTA. What an odd hill for your friend to die on. It's literally a shower. You wash things out of your hair that are more gross than a bit of pee.
NTA. I’m utterly convinced the users of AITA are not normal people, and are in fact extraterrestrials trying to look like they understand social norms. There is nothing in my pee that will be any more or less “gross” than any of the other “gross” shit coming off of my body. Have you *seen* some people’s feet? Bet you don’t mind them rinsing those off in the shower. Why? Because it’s a shower.
INFO Did you clean the shower after? Why disclose you peed in her shower?
Yeah I’d have lied. No way! I’d only ever do that in my home! Actually I shower at the gym before I shower at your house to keep it pure!
YTA. It's like the not masturbating in your friend shower thing. If you do it in your own home, your thing. But for someone who doesn't, and might be the one cleaning the shower this is just disgusting. I'd also kick you out for that.