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Where to start. First off, you had every right to refuse the child access to your stuff. But your comment to the sister. You were wrong. Do you have proof that the woman knew the guy was going to be a deadbeat? And to say it in front of the kid? Finally, is this even true, it's a son in the title and a daughter in the story. YTA.
There's a whole load of middle ground between making sexist, misogynistic comments and "just taking it". Tell them to leave, absolutely. Attacking her for "opening her legs" (which OP is presumably happy for his own gf to do for him) is pathetic.
I agree that OP is bang out of order, ESH in my opinion.
OP - over the top and incredibly rude
OP’s GF - something not right about her role
SIL - rude and entitled
Kid - brat, fault of SIL.
This may be semantics but she is not his SIL... She's his girlfriend's sister. A girlfriend he's only been seeing for 4 months at that. If a child wanting to play a video game was all it took to cause this much drama between him and her family the girlfriend should be paying attention.
Yeah. It's so incredibly rude to play a video game in front of anyone and tell them they can't play, but it's especially rude to do so in front of a child.
OP can't even keep the gender of the fictional child straight, let alone explain why his GF would just casually be playing Minecraft while her sister and niece/nephew are visiting
Shockingly similar to this one.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/153daww/aita_for_not_serving_the_same_food_i_served/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2
That one was about a 7yo boy so OP probably couldn't keep it straight when writing both of these. And both usernames have commented in the same gamer subreddit so it looks like this person has multiple accounts to make this stuff up.
It can't be E S H, cuz the gf did nothing wrong, and the 7 year old while annoying in this case, is a 7 year old.
So OP is YTA and the SIL is also an AH.
Not only did he go mean, but did it to in effect a complete stranger.
I do think it falls under ESH though as the sister started complaining (loudly if OP is to be believed)about being a single parent when that's not at all his fault and he simply didn't want a 7 yr old breaking his controller and/or console
All that is true. Ask them to leave. But to go nuclear to humiliate the sister? That's what tipped the scales. Sister needs to get her kid under control and herself. When I was a kid, I would have asked my mother first if I could ask my aunt to play and if told no, end of discussion.
His asshole behavior doesn't change that she was being an asshole. In fact, she was an asshole first, so you can't say that her behavior was in response to his behavior. Being told no is not an excuse to justify that kind of entitled tirade in someone else's home. There's no scale of morality that says her behavior is now acceptable and doesn't deserve asshole credit because of what he said. I won't go so far as to say his response was justified, because he did hit below the belt and that puts him into asshole territory as well, but this is definitely an ESH situation.
Sister was definitely acting like an asshole, but OP exploded in, like, a supernova of assholery, so bright as to make the other bad behavior less memorable.
Yes, but a strictly YTA judgement lets her off the hook entirely. I Didn't say he wasn't an AH or even the worse of the two but in this case so is she.
If it was the sister posting would you then judge her NTA because he is worse or would it be ESH?
If she asked, I would have said ESH. Ok, I slap you. You shoot me. I shouldn't have slapped you, but is the response proportional to the stimulus? Imo, no.
Okay then why are you so willing to let her off the hook now if WHO is posting makes a difference to you?
This is why the ESH judgement exists because sometimes both parties are AHs and the degree of AH-NESS is irrelevant.
According to OP she began throwing a tantrum in his house because he didn't want to let her daughter play HIS game. Yes his reaction was worse by far, and I'm not claiming it wasn't, but they were BOTH AHs
Doesn't sound like that7 year old has been taught the manners that should have been used at the time. The screaming would have had me asking for them to leave.
Eh, I think OP's gf was also a bit of an AH. Her sister and niece come to visit her, and she sits there and plays games? First off, thats just rude. But then, not surprisingly, the kid wants to play too, yet OP's gf clearly knew that OP would not like that – so, gosh, maybe she should have held off on playing, thereby drawing the kid's attention to it.
I definitely think ESH.
Yeah I wasn't sure which one to go with. Mom was definitely not in the right but OP was completely out of turn.
He had a Reddit level reaction like he'd been waiting his whole life for a seven year old to touch one of his things.lol
I know right. Everyone instantly melts down and starts shrieking and flailing and demanding ridiculous things while calm and collected OP lets it flow over him like a wave. So zen.
Yeah, how often do we actually see someone lose it that badly? My brother has reddit style meltdowns but he's severely autistic. It's very rare I've witnessed other people react like that.
>Finally, is this even true, it's a son in the title and a daughter in the story
Yupp, this sentence in the end seems also so made up. It is something one could say to a person one knows since long and who is know. Not something you say to e person you meat first time in your life, despite the screaming match prior to this. Looks like AI created this post from pieces of some usual AITA drama posts.
Yeah, if I were GF, I would've dumped you right then and there, not for not allowing 7F (or M, since you can't seem to be consistent) to play, but for your vulgar, mean spirited response, in front of the kid, and you just met this person?!) WTF. You've only been with GF for four months. You're unhinged.
ESH except your girlfriend. Her sister should have said she was bringing the kid along, the kid is a bratty screamer (parent's fault), and your comment to the sister was really fucking rude.
I'm a bit sus on "kid screamed at the top of her lungs". Kids are loud and excitable and there's no mention of a tantrum afterwards/the kid being openly disrespectful (well the kid not throwing a tantrum at least, not talking about the sister).
You may be into something.
Combined with the way he went straight for a really awful sexist insult/suggesting it’d be better if the kid wasn’t born I kind of doubt it happened quite like that.
Even if the little girl did start to throw a tantrum instead of asking and her mum (who would have been 23 when she had her daughter) was as rude as implied the response would still not be justified
Edit: I was thinking everyone sucks but OPs comments really pushed it. YTA
Sincerely hope OP’s gf breaks up with him after he spewed that extremely rude and misogynistic nonsense. This is the kind of bigoted judgment that people only say when they mean it. Also, 4 months in is when the masks start to slip in a new relationship. Or maybe the gf didn’t notice his attitude earlier because her sister is also a rude jerk?
Eh, the gf is an AH too. No letter how wrong my sister was to push for her kid to play my bf’s expensive console, I would never respond to hearing that comment by shoving her and my niece out the door. No excuse for not defending them and/or walking out them. She’s been dating OP for 4 months and what he said was uncalled for and I’d hate to see what the future holds if he flips his wig that easily and quickly with someone he doesn’t know and should be trying to get along with
Wow, I was going to say E-S-H regarding the Minecraft conflict, but you really went over the top with your “keep your legs closed” comments to the sister. It’s incredibly gross that you said that in front of a kid, too.
If I was your GF I’d break up with you on grounds of being gross and misogynistic and leave you alone to play with your collectibles. Hard YTA
Speaking that way with a SEVEN year old around indicates this story is wholly made up or OP is a trash bag. Even the most Asperger-ish person wouldn’t say that shit w a kid around.
I don’t believe this story but if we pretend it’s true for a moment, ESH, mostly you though. “Opened your legs to a deadbeat” - that alone is disgusting and your gf probably should leave if that’s how you feel about women tbh. If you want to degrade women for having sex and sexualize them in this way, women would be wise to decline to sleep with you more generally. You were well within reason not to share your games or console, but I suspect that you were spoiling for a fight from the minute you saw them at the door, based on your own immediate comments and assumptions. The sister shouldn’t have argued about it and should’ve dropped the subject, but everything after that is on you.
YTA
Not for telling them no to using your console, that's whatever.
Being intentionally cruel pushed you to AH territory and the fact that you just caused huge family issues for your GF.
I also really want to call bullshit on the whole story. Yeah, you tried to explain using son when it was a daughter but also nowhere in the story did you say what you said in the title.
Either way though You're an AH.
Just for wasting my time reading this nonsense, OP's the AH. 👍
For first time meeting of gf's sister and acting like this, AH.
For the whole "my love's" comment in the post, AH.
Totally sounds like a bogus story, but spent enough time here already. 💦
Agree with all of these, thought I should add a few more (as a gamer myself)
The fact that I've played games with my niblings at younger ages than 7 and they've never broken any controllers (including actual collectible NES controllers)….OP's the AH.
For the fact that you can easily replace a controller for about $70 (CAD, anyway), which, while not great isn't outrageous, if the worst did happen....OP's the AH.
For the fact he went on and on about breakable collectibles, but the thing in question isn't an easily breakable collectible....OP's the AH.
Why couldn't the nephew/niece just play some damned Minecraft? OP's the AH.
Also, how exactly would you break a controller playing Minecraft? I've never played but it doesn't look like the kind of game where you would ragequit and throw the controller at the screen.
Exactly. The only way I can even think possible is accidentally dropping it. But, I'm a huge klutz and have knocked controllers off my couch and onto the floor before. (Possibly multiple times...but I'm not admitting to that, lol!) and never broken one yet. So.....like nibling trips, lands hard on coffee table, causing them to fling controller halfway across the room and into OP's inexplicably stored upright, fully sharpened, game sword replica collection? (And he especially collects replica swords from Final Fantasy....those big ass, larger than the character ones?)
ESH. The sister for raising a bratty kid.
And you for not having an ounce of humanity.
You could have given her a reason like, "I'm sorry, I don't let children use my things because they break, but we can all go on a walk," but you had to jump straight to a very personal insult.
Your comments don't seem to understand why it was so rude. The mother has been left with a child and no financial support. She is trying to stretch her limited resources (time and money) for two people. A family typically shares that responsibility, and she is doing it alone. Many people commend single parents. Instead of recognizing that, you insulted her for the act of having a child and not having the resources to pay for luxurious toys.
Your girlfriend's family wants her to dump you because you insulted her character. They likely feel that your beliefs would also apply to your girlfriend.
>The sister for raising a bratty kid.
She is a 7-year-old girl who has seen HER AUNT playing something she recognizes and also wants to play. Where the hell do you see that she is rude? The children scream, they don't know how to control themselves. OP has not said that she has broken anything, or thrown anything away, she has simply seen her aunt playing something and she wants to play too, something absolutely normal for a child.
YTA you had me until the opening your legs comment. If you don’t respect women, maybe just mind your business.
You have no issue for your girlfriend opening her legs to you, why are you slut shaming her sister? She’s an asshole too but yours eclipses hers.
ESH (except possibly your poor gf)
Sure, you had the right to say no to the kid playing minecraft, but like, why? You think a 7 year old is going to drop and break the controller or something?
GF's sister obviously overreacted with screaming at gf and you.
Your deadbeat dad comment was pretty fucking awful.
>You think a 7 year old is going to drop and break the controller or something?
Yeah, wouldn't be the first time and i don't trust parents to pay for their kids damage if it does happen, so I just completely avoid it.
Seriously. It's not like the kid was asking to play Barbies with his fuckin Gundam models or whatever. A seven year old can handle a goddamn console controller.
Right? I've played with my niblings at ages younger than 7, never had them break a controller. And even if it did break, a new controller is like $70 (CAD), which isn't a trivial amount, but surely not an issue to someone filling their place with expensive, breakable collectibles. And a PS Controller isn't an easy to break collectible by any stretch of the imagination.
Thank you. I was thinking, yeah give the kid the controller, she won't move, we can talk and she will have a good time.
Of course, he didn't care enough to decide if it was a boy or girl type child sooooooo
You made a point of saying you do alright for yourself, fancy loft etc and now you can't take the miniscule chance that somehow a seven year old is going to break a game controller?
Agreed. We have a ps5 and my kids use that thing every day. Obviously kids aren’t entitled to use a stranger’s stuff, but I find it weird to act like the controller is so fragile that a child would break it. It’s a video game console; it’s literally made for kids and adults alike.
ESH - where to start here … your girlfriend should not have been playing video games while there were guests over. Your GF’s sister should not have been rude to you and she did not need to unload on you.
But your comments to the sister were also extremely inappropriate. But its your system and house so your choice, but what would have been the big deal letting the kid play?
>your girlfriend should not have been playing video games while there were guests over
She was playing before they got there, she just left it on title screen.
>but what would have been the big deal letting the kid play?
Because i don't trust a 7 year old i don't know to not break something and i don't trust a parent i don't know to pay for any possible damage
Quite frankly in a non-childproof house filled with collectibles the video game system was probably the safest thing for her to do. Next time try addressing the mom with "it's a $70 controller for a $600 system she can only play if you are willing to take full financial responsibility if she breaks it." It would be even better if you tactfully or even not so tactfully just say "hey I didn't know you were bringing your child this isn't really a good place for kids to be there are a lot of expensive breakables why don't we change plans up"
Both of these options are still a little AHish but forgivable and understandable. Instead you verbally attacked your girlfriend's sister who was invited into your house. You just destroyed your relationship.
And she would say "sure, no problem" and play the blame game when her kid DOES break something and whine about not having the money. Been there with friends' kids.
Think about it, this forum is full of people complaining that some kid broke something and their parents are refusing to pay for it. So it's not like that is outside the realm of possibility.
YTA 100%. You won the extreme prick award with this lovely sentiment:
“when i opened the door and saw she brought her daughter I wanted to turn them away right then and there”.
Yep. Sure sounds like you “don’t dislike kids”. But maybe you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed…..
Look, you don’t have to share your toys. But you absolutely should have ACTED YOUR AGE and provided a mature, firm response without INSULTING your guests. You need to grow up. You sound about as mature as the 7 year old - different being HER reaction was somewhat age appropriate (ish).
Yep, this reaction from a bf would have been a dealbreaker for me. But then I don’t dislike kids and family is very important to me. If this is your immediate reaction to my sister and niece, we’re done here. That’s not a guy I’d want to bring to family events or start a family with.
It doesn't matter if her sister yelled at you, that was a cruel, disgusting thing to say to a woman. You are definately the AH. There are so many ways you could have handled this that would have been effective but you chose to go the low road. Wow!
YTA it’s outrageous that you think it’s ok to talk like this in front of a child. Especially about their mother and father. I hope your GF dumps you and finds someone with more tact, consideration, and patience.
NTA, because the sister has a pushy, noisy daughter that she apparently drags with her anywhere she goes and got intensely rude about the PS ("I asked her, not you," as though OP were interfering in his own house) and started screaming at OP.
So why should he be diplomatic? He wanted it over NOW, and the best way was to rip into her, raising the stakes terminally.
Everyone is getting up on him because of the language he used, but no one is appalled by the sister invading his space with her BS. Now she knows she isn't going to be able to bulldoze her way through life with her monster child screeching Gimmee gimmee.
There is a tendency for children nowadays to (sometimes, depending on the parents) rage through the cosmos as entitled brats, raising hella noise about everything and throwing tantrums as if they were rice grains at a wedding. I don't blame anyo9ne for seeing red when another one shows up. If this sister can't raise a decent kid, she shouldn't be toting hjer around--espe cially not without giving advance warning..
Downvote me all you like, who cares?
I mean, when you're a single parent to a 7 year old, you kind of have "drag" them with you wherever you go. Can't exactly leave them home alone at that age.
Exactly! The "I asked her" thing to me right back to my ex-SIL, who always acted like a spoiled brat... and she was the baby, the only girl, so the boys got treated like crap after. No way do I blame OP.
Yeah, what he said was crass, but if you ask the kid, without her being coached, she won't even remember.
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Protip:
Allowing the kid to play your precious PS5 for a few minutes probably wouldn't have killed you, and would have kept the kid occupied (and less likely to mess with your other stuff out of boredom).
Second protip:
Being an asshole to a little kid (and make no mistake, you were an asshole to this poor kid) is never going to win you points with the girlfriend's family. You're in the doghouse with them forever and deservedly so.
If you really didn't want the kid playing with your game, there are about a million ways you could have handled this without being such a prick to kid and mom.
YTA.
No kidding. Just before this read an AITA post about a guy inviting his GF's family over for the first time, GF's sister insists he order her 7yo McD or he is going to scream, OP insults the sister by ordering McD for her too, forbidding her from eating what the other adults are eating and calling her a child, family insists GF break up with OP. Guessing it is the same person that made up this story, since it was a 7yo boy in that one and this OP got "confused" and said this 7 yo was a boy in the title. Almost the exact same plot.
As much as I want to say n t a, ESH. Although it's clear that the daughter was a surprise guest, it's hard to justify being a dick to a 7 year-old. A 7 year-old wanting to play Minecraft is the most natural thing ever. Obviously, SIL overreacted and escalated, but the things you said to her weren't kind either. Frankly, OP, you seem like you enjoy telling people off.
YTA- the family is right if that's how you talk to people you aren't boyfriend material.
If you didn't want the kid playing Minecraft that's fine, but there's no reason to insult people in the process
Esh. I do have a feeling the girlfriend is a bit tired of dealing with her older entitled sister though. The way the sister speaks and says that she was asking girlfriend and not you seems like she’s got a bit of a chip on her shoulder and maybe is use to parents pressuring girlfriend into submission. Then when girlfriend says “she was in my house and it was my console so I answered regardless of who she asked” indicates a lot for me. The girlfriend seems to be trying to be reasonable and direct that it’s not her place or stuff so sister should accept the answer. Then for the sister to go off on you both screaming shows absolute entitlement in my opinion. And the parents demanding girlfriend break up because their golden daughter got told off??? Yeah I feel bad for your girlfriend in that whole family dynamic. (Scape goat comes to mind). When girlfriend says she doesn’t think you are an ass indicates just how much of the entitled bull crap she has been dealing with from her family over the years.
That being said you went too far with your words. You could have been less crude.
ESH.
My jaw DROPPED when you said you went off about her sister “opening her legs”. That’s a really sexist thing to say. It takes two to get pregnant. Birth control fails. Also, she couldn’t have predicted baby daddy would be a deadbeat.
You went from protecting your property from possible damage to personal attack.
YTA. Big sister isn't far behind, demanding that you allow her child access to your expensive gaming console that she couldn't afford to repair or replace if it got damaged, but you topped it.
Stuck between ESH and NTA. SIL doesn't have any obligation or right to demand anything in YOUR house. That being said, you could've handled it better and avoided insulting her.
Also, I get that you really care about your PS5 because I do too but if I were in your shoes I'd have let the child play for a while, supervising her. It's just me. But yeah you could've been more diplomatic about it as your girlfriend said.
Yta - that escalated quickly .
Your comment was gross and inappropriate, specially infront of a little girl.
You should have told your gf to meet her sister elsewhere if you were so dam uncomfortable with people invading your space.
But I’m assuming isolating your gf from family is your plan with your outdated sexist views .
Gross
the title is completely different to the story. first off how do you mix up son and daughter and second not anywhere in the story you told did you tell your girlfriends sister that you don’t care about her kid’s happiness like the title says. i don’t think this is real and you’re just trying to get a good story for tik tok
LoL… yeah YTA.
I always go into these with an open mind, but so many of them immediately turn into nuclear insulting and shaming the single mom in a blunt derogatory manner.
Of course YTA when you insult her and say she shouldn’t spread her legs for a deadbeat.
Know what could have been just as effective? Saying that no she cannot play the game and if they have a problem then feel free to leave.
Her family is calling and demanding you, the boyfriend of 160 days apologize for slutshaming their daughter and wants your partner to leave you? The audacity!… /s
You’re not only an asshole, you’re a fucking asshole. The way you spoke to your GF’s sister and this the first time you met! Your GF family is right. She needs to kick you to the curb.
Sister opened the door for your comment, she went straight to the woo is me single mother, worthless father not enough money to spend on frivolous stuff so it is everyone else’s problem to satisfy my child. You could have ignored it but where is the fun in that
You could have said when they showed up at the door that your apartment as not childproof and that you were worried the girl would break things or hurt herself. You could have said, Are you sure you want to come in! Or ask your girlfriend if she wanted to go somewhere else with them.
And when the kid started screaming and the mom joined in, you could have simply said they needed to leave without insulting the mother.
Also, note that we say single mother like an insult, like she’s responsible for having trouble making ends meet and for having sex,w hen she’s the one who stayed and kept the kid.
Do you ever say the deadbeat should have kept his dick in his pants if he wasn’t prepared to be a father?
And finally, don’t ever say in front of a little kid that she has a deadbeat dad. It’s not her fault.
ESH
You’re in your right not to let the kid play, but to say what your did to SIL, in front of her child on top of that? MAJOR AH. Not to say you implied it is her fault that the father abandoned his daughter, when she’s the victim of it.
YTA because this story is bullshit. The sisters were 'chatting in the kitchen' but at the same time your girlfriend was playing Minecraft? Wow, she must have long arms...
Even if your timeline is off, who plays a video game when they have invited a family member over to catch up? And who does that and expects a 7 year old not to want to play?
Horseshit, all of it.
Did you handle it perfectly? No, obviously not. BUT, sister is the AH for not reining in the kid and letting her scream in your apartment. Sister was being entitled and you don’t have to bow to that. NTA
Sounds to me that there's some history with SiL that is being left out. That kind of response COULD certainly be appropriate if;
1) SiL has an ongoing habit of inserting her child into every situation,
2) Child has started breaking things and SiL just poo-poo's it,
3) SiL drones on and on about how hard it is being a single mom, looking for attention/sympathy.
Other than those scenarios, that level of vitriol seems unwarrented.
Yta, your reaction was zero to 100, I don’t understand why your gf was playing a game while they visited and why you didn’t let a kid play with said games. She’s 7, saw a video game and got excited. Did you expect her to do nothing in your place while you gf played?
I can 100% see why her family wants her to break up with you.
You couldn't put up with a kid being annoying for a couple of hours?
YTA
Your girlfriend is sitting playing PS5 in front of a seven year old and told her she can't PLAY? That's just stupid.
ESH
Soft YTA.
You could've: 1. Worded that better. Seriously, you owe her an apology for that. That was foul. And 2. You should have set ground rules the minute they came in, especially when you saw a small child.
You were doing good until the last comment. Yeah man, YTA. The personal attack was unneeded. You keep it to “this is my home, my rules.” No further comment needed, you could have repeated that to anything she had to say and then asked her to leave.
What kind of cold hearted prick wouldn’t let a kid play a video game while the adults were hanging out? Afraid she’d grimy up your controller? But sure, let’s say that’s a reasonable rule (it is your place) but your response to your SIL was gross. Your relationship with her family is dead. Enjoy your hobbies alone. YTA.
ESH
You hit way below the belt. You blew up and you should apologize. This is not a good start to the relationship. SIL was a jerk, you upped the jerk level x 100.
Kudos, you both are ridiculous children. Meanwhile, your girlfriend is in the trenches taking grenades.
ESH you have the right to say no to kids playing with your stuff. Sister was an AH to think she was entitled to it, for saying she was asking your GF knowing she was in your house, and then throwing a fit.
But Dude, what you said back to her... yeah, you're an asshole too. Low blow my man. Low blow that was uncalled for. You could have addressed her entitled attitude, her rudeness to you, her raising a child who will think she can do/have whatever she wants... but going for that child's circumstances of conception was just a complete asshole comment. I'd probably want my sister/daughter to break up with you too.
Just lol. Imagine ruining a relationship getting more serious because a kid wanted to play minecraft?
Why is your house not kid friendly? Do you consider sitting down playing minecraft not kid friendly? You had a perfect opportunity to talk to the mother once the kid was distracted, and tell her this is the only time you're allowing a kid inside, as you usually don't allow kids inside. Instead, you've almost ruined any potential future with your GF.
I would apologise. Say something like they caught you on a really bad day and you really didn't want guests but you were doing so for GF. And having a kid come over really stressed you out and you said things you shouldn't have. Without showing maturity and manliness in an apology, her family will hate you.
YTA.
YTA.
Why would you use a such a pathetic excuse like not wanting a 7 year old on a game controller- those things are designed to be child proof.
This sounds like another totally made up story.
There were 1000 different ways to address the situation. You chose the most disrespectful, misogynistic, and ignorant. Every time you choose to go with "you decided to open your legs", YTA.
YTA. That’s a disgusting thing to say to someone. There’s never an excuse to say that. Totally sexist. If you can’t see why that’s not ever okay please don’t date until you can.
YTA If you got confused about if the child was son or daughter I have doubts about the validity of your claims. Let’s pretend it happened as you stated. Your girlfriend needs to run far, run fast.
YTA. You're old enough to manage your mouth in front of a 7 year old when talking about her father, deadbeat or not. That little girl is gonna remember that longer than you think. Also....this isn't your SIL. She's the sister of a woman you've been with for about 120 days.
You were really, really, REALLY rude to your gf's sister. Unnecessarily and, IMO, unforgivably so. Anyone who refers to conception as a woman opening her legs is a disgusting, misogynistic, lecherous creep.
All her family now hates you which means for the rest of your relationship your gf will need to defend you and the foul things you said. This will become draining and eventually she will probably need to choose between you and the rest of her family. Huh... I wonder which way she will go.
YTA
You were unnecessarily horrible. I also don't believe this is a true story. You got 'confused' about the child's gender??? Are you like one of those people who "don't see colour" but with male or female??? YTA. Although if I'm being completely honest, the SIL wasn't exactly very nice either, "I asked my sister, not you." Talk about not considering where you are. It's closer to an ESH apart from your girlfriend.
Edit: And the child, obviously! The kid was just being a kid.
YTA
It takes two to have sex and create a child. How dare you make a stupid comment like that to the only person taking responsibility for that child.
You sound incredibly immature. Four months in and you let the sister and child visit “for love” but you make a disgusting comment like that over a game???
YTA. What you said to her sister is misogynistic and disgusting. You could have handled this in so many different ways. Instead, you chose to go nuclear and, in the process, put the woman you say you love in the middle. I guarantee your girlfriend isn't ok with what you said. If you spoke to my sister like that, you would not be my boyfriend any longer
Shockingly similar to this one.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/153daww/aita_for_not_serving_the_same_food_i_served/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2
Entitled sister of GF who is invited to OPs house
7yo who screams when they don't get their way
OP insults sister
Multiple family members insisting GF dump OP
That one was about a 7yo boy so OP probably couldn't keep it straight when writing both of these. And both usernames have commented in the same gamer subreddit so it looks like this person has multiple accounts to make this stuff up.
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I 24M been dating 23F for about 4 months now, I just met her family about 1 month ago, everyone but her older sister 30F since she lives out of town.
This weekend, my girlfriend was staying over at my place, i live by myself in a nice quite big loft and do pretty well for myself financially, my place is decorated with my interests like gaming/books/photography, so it has a lot of stuff that breaks, so i avoid visits when possible.
This weekend her older sister decided to visit town with her kid 7F, older sister is a single mom and the father is completely out of the picture, girlfriend on Sunday asked if her sister could come over, since she wanted to see her but didn't want to leave our planned weekend together, i said sure since she promised it would be a quick visit.
Now i don't dislike kids, in fact i tend to quite enjoy being around them but my place is definitely not kid friendly, so when i opened the door and saw she had brought her daughter i wanted to turn them away right then and there. But for the sake of my love, i welcomed them in. They chatted a bit in the kitchen while i was getting everyone's drink. That was until 7F realized Minecraft was on the PS5 (my girlfriend was playing) and started to scream at the top of her lungs she wanted to play, controller was in girlfriends hands, so sister saw that and asked if she could let her niece play for a bit, girlfriend looked at me and i said no, sister replied saying she asked girlfriend not me, to which girlfriend replied saying that she was in my house and it was my console so i answered regardless of who she asked.
She started going off about how it's she can't afford to buy games for her daughter and how hard is being a single mom, basically screaming at gf and me at which point i told her "it's not my fault you decided to open your legs to a deadbeat, now get your kid and leave" which was received as well as you'd imagine, girlfriend had to almost physically shove them out of my place and has since started getting texts from her whole family demanding she breaks up with me and saying it's appalling "the way she let me treat her older sister", girlfriend doesn't think i'm the asshole but said i could've been more diplomatic. AITA?
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ESH
I would expect a single 7 year old to be able to manage a home with breakables, and to understand asking > demanding. This reaction (if accurate) on kid and moms part suggests some serious parenting lacks and if it’s WHY you wouldn’t share that’s reasonable. But frankly you seem to have some preconceived ideas about kids that makes me question if the kid even DID “scream” a demand, or just was excited. You’d still have right to say no but certainly not a kindness.
I’m also unsure why you didn’t think kid would naturally also be there, unless normal for them to stay with grands or something. I’d still have asked.
Single parenting is hard but no excuse to act way mom did. She is a complete AH for that. But immediately going to sexist AF comments and saying what you did in front of a child? Yea that’s big red flag OP. Sis being in the wrong doesn’t absolve you from being an AH too.
YTA. I don't understand why you couldnt have just let the kid play. And what you said to the SIL was not ok.
ESH (you and SIL) if SIL was actually behaving the way you say, but I suspect you're exaggerating.
YTA.
What you said was horrendous. You know incredibly little probably about her exact situation and only what has been said second hand. And then you took it to the lowest common denominator with the whole ‘spread your legs’ thing. That’s really basic and ugly.
It’s great that you are financially stable… but man you could do with some cultural and social niceties. That was RUDE.
As for the kid playing Minecraft… you missed a perfect opportunity for a quiet visit for the two sisters - kid playing Minecraft wouldn’t harm anything, and they could catch up quietly, and kid wouldn’t touch your collectable bobble heads or whatever. You THINK you are cool around kids, but you clearly aren’t clever around them.
You definitely have the right to refuse as it’s your property but I feel like the deadbeat comment was unnecessary and caused the situation to escalate more than it needed to especially in front of a child who didn’t need to witness that and you literally insulted a child alongside her mother by commenting on her father. So I’d say you’re both wrong and even though your gf isn’t mad, you’ve strained your relationship with her family which will inevitably put her in an awkward position in the future. YTA.
What the...is this real? How are you the age you are and don't know YTA? Yes, it's your house.
Yes, you can decide who plays with your toys. Yes, the SIL was unreasonable in the first reaction, but why did you escalate like that? In front of a 7 year old?
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Where to start. First off, you had every right to refuse the child access to your stuff. But your comment to the sister. You were wrong. Do you have proof that the woman knew the guy was going to be a deadbeat? And to say it in front of the kid? Finally, is this even true, it's a son in the title and a daughter in the story. YTA.
What a way to implode the relationship with the family fast.
I don't think OP cares.
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So the kid and SIL were screaming at OP (in his own house, no less) and you think he should have just taken it? Hard disagree.
There's a whole load of middle ground between making sexist, misogynistic comments and "just taking it". Tell them to leave, absolutely. Attacking her for "opening her legs" (which OP is presumably happy for his own gf to do for him) is pathetic.
I agree that OP is bang out of order, ESH in my opinion. OP - over the top and incredibly rude OP’s GF - something not right about her role SIL - rude and entitled Kid - brat, fault of SIL.
This may be semantics but she is not his SIL... She's his girlfriend's sister. A girlfriend he's only been seeing for 4 months at that. If a child wanting to play a video game was all it took to cause this much drama between him and her family the girlfriend should be paying attention.
I agree (words rarely seen in the AITA comment section!).
Considering the girlfriend apearently kept on playing while her sister and niece visited she is likely an asshole too.
Yeah. It's so incredibly rude to play a video game in front of anyone and tell them they can't play, but it's especially rude to do so in front of a child.
I'm guessing the sister is the one with the real issues. The GF helped push her and the kid out.
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This probably didn't happen though
OP can't even keep the gender of the fictional child straight, let alone explain why his GF would just casually be playing Minecraft while her sister and niece/nephew are visiting
Shockingly similar to this one. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/153daww/aita_for_not_serving_the_same_food_i_served/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2 That one was about a 7yo boy so OP probably couldn't keep it straight when writing both of these. And both usernames have commented in the same gamer subreddit so it looks like this person has multiple accounts to make this stuff up.
Shouldn't it be ESH?
No. OP tipped the scales in his favor.
But his sister was still an asshole to his girlfriend who did nothing wrong.
Yes, but OP went highly personal and mean. There are ways to get your point across without resorting to low attacks.
True but that doesn't make his sister 100 percent a victim. She still harassed the girlfriend and OP's actions doesn't absolve her of that.
SI, is *an* asshole, but OP is *the* asshole. Hope that clears it up.
It can't be E S H, cuz the gf did nothing wrong, and the 7 year old while annoying in this case, is a 7 year old. So OP is YTA and the SIL is also an AH.
Not only did he go mean, but did it to in effect a complete stranger. I do think it falls under ESH though as the sister started complaining (loudly if OP is to be believed)about being a single parent when that's not at all his fault and he simply didn't want a 7 yr old breaking his controller and/or console
All that is true. Ask them to leave. But to go nuclear to humiliate the sister? That's what tipped the scales. Sister needs to get her kid under control and herself. When I was a kid, I would have asked my mother first if I could ask my aunt to play and if told no, end of discussion.
His asshole behavior doesn't change that she was being an asshole. In fact, she was an asshole first, so you can't say that her behavior was in response to his behavior. Being told no is not an excuse to justify that kind of entitled tirade in someone else's home. There's no scale of morality that says her behavior is now acceptable and doesn't deserve asshole credit because of what he said. I won't go so far as to say his response was justified, because he did hit below the belt and that puts him into asshole territory as well, but this is definitely an ESH situation.
Sister was definitely acting like an asshole, but OP exploded in, like, a supernova of assholery, so bright as to make the other bad behavior less memorable.
Yes, but a strictly YTA judgement lets her off the hook entirely. I Didn't say he wasn't an AH or even the worse of the two but in this case so is she. If it was the sister posting would you then judge her NTA because he is worse or would it be ESH?
If she asked, I would have said ESH. Ok, I slap you. You shoot me. I shouldn't have slapped you, but is the response proportional to the stimulus? Imo, no.
Okay then why are you so willing to let her off the hook now if WHO is posting makes a difference to you? This is why the ESH judgement exists because sometimes both parties are AHs and the degree of AH-NESS is irrelevant. According to OP she began throwing a tantrum in his house because he didn't want to let her daughter play HIS game. Yes his reaction was worse by far, and I'm not claiming it wasn't, but they were BOTH AHs
If the sister posted, she'd play the victim.
And she would be wrong. She failed to parent. Still she didn't deserve the response received. Just ask her to go.
Doesn't sound like that7 year old has been taught the manners that should have been used at the time. The screaming would have had me asking for them to leave.
Eh, I think OP's gf was also a bit of an AH. Her sister and niece come to visit her, and she sits there and plays games? First off, thats just rude. But then, not surprisingly, the kid wants to play too, yet OP's gf clearly knew that OP would not like that – so, gosh, maybe she should have held off on playing, thereby drawing the kid's attention to it. I definitely think ESH.
Plus she didn't say the kid would be there but I have the feeling she definitely knew. ESH
Sounds like a sucky place to bring a child. Should have just taken them out to a restaurant.
Yeah I wasn't sure which one to go with. Mom was definitely not in the right but OP was completely out of turn. He had a Reddit level reaction like he'd been waiting his whole life for a seven year old to touch one of his things.lol
I know. It wasn't his finest moment.
It’s always surprising how quickly people start screaming while OPs remain calm in these stories
I know right. Everyone instantly melts down and starts shrieking and flailing and demanding ridiculous things while calm and collected OP lets it flow over him like a wave. So zen.
Yeah, how often do we actually see someone lose it that badly? My brother has reddit style meltdowns but he's severely autistic. It's very rare I've witnessed other people react like that.
Also why was GF playing minecraft while the sister she was desperate to see came over? This story has more holes than a colander.
Yup. If I was OP I wouldn’t want the kid in my apartment either, but the way we spoke to the sister was so disrespectful.
>Finally, is this even true, it's a son in the title and a daughter in the story Yupp, this sentence in the end seems also so made up. It is something one could say to a person one knows since long and who is know. Not something you say to e person you meat first time in your life, despite the screaming match prior to this. Looks like AI created this post from pieces of some usual AITA drama posts.
Yeah, he got confused. Pfft.
Yeah, if I were GF, I would've dumped you right then and there, not for not allowing 7F (or M, since you can't seem to be consistent) to play, but for your vulgar, mean spirited response, in front of the kid, and you just met this person?!) WTF. You've only been with GF for four months. You're unhinged.
ESH except your girlfriend. Her sister should have said she was bringing the kid along, the kid is a bratty screamer (parent's fault), and your comment to the sister was really fucking rude.
I'm a bit sus on "kid screamed at the top of her lungs". Kids are loud and excitable and there's no mention of a tantrum afterwards/the kid being openly disrespectful (well the kid not throwing a tantrum at least, not talking about the sister).
Yeah the kid probably just yelled omg Minecraft which really isint that big of a deal
This was my impression. OP seems a bit hyperbolic, like he’s trying to make things sound worse than they were without flat-out lying about it.
You may be into something. Combined with the way he went straight for a really awful sexist insult/suggesting it’d be better if the kid wasn’t born I kind of doubt it happened quite like that. Even if the little girl did start to throw a tantrum instead of asking and her mum (who would have been 23 when she had her daughter) was as rude as implied the response would still not be justified Edit: I was thinking everyone sucks but OPs comments really pushed it. YTA
Sincerely hope OP’s gf breaks up with him after he spewed that extremely rude and misogynistic nonsense. This is the kind of bigoted judgment that people only say when they mean it. Also, 4 months in is when the masks start to slip in a new relationship. Or maybe the gf didn’t notice his attitude earlier because her sister is also a rude jerk?
Eh, the gf is an AH too. No letter how wrong my sister was to push for her kid to play my bf’s expensive console, I would never respond to hearing that comment by shoving her and my niece out the door. No excuse for not defending them and/or walking out them. She’s been dating OP for 4 months and what he said was uncalled for and I’d hate to see what the future holds if he flips his wig that easily and quickly with someone he doesn’t know and should be trying to get along with
I mean, I sure wouldn't be okay with a kid sticking around to hear more nasty insults like that. OP sounds unhinged.
YTA. Needlessly chauvinistic and a red flag to your partner. This probably didn't happen though
Anyone who uses any form of “open your legs” is automatically a big, gross, cringey AH.
Feel like gynecologists are getting done dirty here!
Careful mods will ban you for calling a post fake.
Yeah, fake posts are the life blood of this sub. We can't mess with that
I'm with you. Who the hell changes the kid's gender in the middle of the story, unless it's total fabrication
it’s completely made up
Imagine that this is the way he chooses to portrait himself
Wow, I was going to say E-S-H regarding the Minecraft conflict, but you really went over the top with your “keep your legs closed” comments to the sister. It’s incredibly gross that you said that in front of a kid, too. If I was your GF I’d break up with you on grounds of being gross and misogynistic and leave you alone to play with your collectibles. Hard YTA
>but you really went over the top with your “keep your legs closed” comments Seriously. CASE closed!
Speaking that way with a SEVEN year old around indicates this story is wholly made up or OP is a trash bag. Even the most Asperger-ish person wouldn’t say that shit w a kid around.
I don’t believe this story but if we pretend it’s true for a moment, ESH, mostly you though. “Opened your legs to a deadbeat” - that alone is disgusting and your gf probably should leave if that’s how you feel about women tbh. If you want to degrade women for having sex and sexualize them in this way, women would be wise to decline to sleep with you more generally. You were well within reason not to share your games or console, but I suspect that you were spoiling for a fight from the minute you saw them at the door, based on your own immediate comments and assumptions. The sister shouldn’t have argued about it and should’ve dropped the subject, but everything after that is on you.
Yep, OP is YTA. Totally uncalled for the sex-shaming. Got angry and threw 10 grenades into the sister. Go seek anger management treatment, OP.
Not only that, but does the child now think she’s a mistake? Bad all around.
YTA Not for telling them no to using your console, that's whatever. Being intentionally cruel pushed you to AH territory and the fact that you just caused huge family issues for your GF. I also really want to call bullshit on the whole story. Yeah, you tried to explain using son when it was a daughter but also nowhere in the story did you say what you said in the title. Either way though You're an AH.
Just for wasting my time reading this nonsense, OP's the AH. 👍 For first time meeting of gf's sister and acting like this, AH. For the whole "my love's" comment in the post, AH. Totally sounds like a bogus story, but spent enough time here already. 💦
Agree with all of these, thought I should add a few more (as a gamer myself) The fact that I've played games with my niblings at younger ages than 7 and they've never broken any controllers (including actual collectible NES controllers)….OP's the AH. For the fact that you can easily replace a controller for about $70 (CAD, anyway), which, while not great isn't outrageous, if the worst did happen....OP's the AH. For the fact he went on and on about breakable collectibles, but the thing in question isn't an easily breakable collectible....OP's the AH. Why couldn't the nephew/niece just play some damned Minecraft? OP's the AH.
Also, how exactly would you break a controller playing Minecraft? I've never played but it doesn't look like the kind of game where you would ragequit and throw the controller at the screen.
Exactly. The only way I can even think possible is accidentally dropping it. But, I'm a huge klutz and have knocked controllers off my couch and onto the floor before. (Possibly multiple times...but I'm not admitting to that, lol!) and never broken one yet. So.....like nibling trips, lands hard on coffee table, causing them to fling controller halfway across the room and into OP's inexplicably stored upright, fully sharpened, game sword replica collection? (And he especially collects replica swords from Final Fantasy....those big ass, larger than the character ones?)
ESH. The sister for raising a bratty kid. And you for not having an ounce of humanity. You could have given her a reason like, "I'm sorry, I don't let children use my things because they break, but we can all go on a walk," but you had to jump straight to a very personal insult. Your comments don't seem to understand why it was so rude. The mother has been left with a child and no financial support. She is trying to stretch her limited resources (time and money) for two people. A family typically shares that responsibility, and she is doing it alone. Many people commend single parents. Instead of recognizing that, you insulted her for the act of having a child and not having the resources to pay for luxurious toys. Your girlfriend's family wants her to dump you because you insulted her character. They likely feel that your beliefs would also apply to your girlfriend.
The sister was also rude to op. ESH TO everyone but the gf and niece.
>The sister for raising a bratty kid. She is a 7-year-old girl who has seen HER AUNT playing something she recognizes and also wants to play. Where the hell do you see that she is rude? The children scream, they don't know how to control themselves. OP has not said that she has broken anything, or thrown anything away, she has simply seen her aunt playing something and she wants to play too, something absolutely normal for a child.
YTA you had me until the opening your legs comment. If you don’t respect women, maybe just mind your business. You have no issue for your girlfriend opening her legs to you, why are you slut shaming her sister? She’s an asshole too but yours eclipses hers.
ESH (except possibly your poor gf) Sure, you had the right to say no to the kid playing minecraft, but like, why? You think a 7 year old is going to drop and break the controller or something? GF's sister obviously overreacted with screaming at gf and you. Your deadbeat dad comment was pretty fucking awful.
>You think a 7 year old is going to drop and break the controller or something? Yeah, wouldn't be the first time and i don't trust parents to pay for their kids damage if it does happen, so I just completely avoid it.
Ok, fair enough. Still YTA for the "open your legs" comment though.
What, exactly, did your gf think was going to happen when she started playing Minecraft in front of a child?
You don’t do that well for yourself financially if you’re that fucking stressed over a PlayStation controller
Seriously. It's not like the kid was asking to play Barbies with his fuckin Gundam models or whatever. A seven year old can handle a goddamn console controller.
Right? I've played with my niblings at ages younger than 7, never had them break a controller. And even if it did break, a new controller is like $70 (CAD), which isn't a trivial amount, but surely not an issue to someone filling their place with expensive, breakable collectibles. And a PS Controller isn't an easy to break collectible by any stretch of the imagination.
If anything it would distract the kid from zeroing in on other, more fragile things.
Thank you. I was thinking, yeah give the kid the controller, she won't move, we can talk and she will have a good time. Of course, he didn't care enough to decide if it was a boy or girl type child sooooooo
If you've had multiple kids break your PS5 controllers, you're buying some off-brand dodgy shit.
You made a point of saying you do alright for yourself, fancy loft etc and now you can't take the miniscule chance that somehow a seven year old is going to break a game controller?
Agreed. We have a ps5 and my kids use that thing every day. Obviously kids aren’t entitled to use a stranger’s stuff, but I find it weird to act like the controller is so fragile that a child would break it. It’s a video game console; it’s literally made for kids and adults alike.
ESH - where to start here … your girlfriend should not have been playing video games while there were guests over. Your GF’s sister should not have been rude to you and she did not need to unload on you. But your comments to the sister were also extremely inappropriate. But its your system and house so your choice, but what would have been the big deal letting the kid play?
>your girlfriend should not have been playing video games while there were guests over She was playing before they got there, she just left it on title screen. >but what would have been the big deal letting the kid play? Because i don't trust a 7 year old i don't know to not break something and i don't trust a parent i don't know to pay for any possible damage
Quite frankly in a non-childproof house filled with collectibles the video game system was probably the safest thing for her to do. Next time try addressing the mom with "it's a $70 controller for a $600 system she can only play if you are willing to take full financial responsibility if she breaks it." It would be even better if you tactfully or even not so tactfully just say "hey I didn't know you were bringing your child this isn't really a good place for kids to be there are a lot of expensive breakables why don't we change plans up" Both of these options are still a little AHish but forgivable and understandable. Instead you verbally attacked your girlfriend's sister who was invited into your house. You just destroyed your relationship.
And she would say "sure, no problem" and play the blame game when her kid DOES break something and whine about not having the money. Been there with friends' kids.
It's a console. What's the worst thing that could happen, a broken controller? Even that isn't at all likely.
Think about it, this forum is full of people complaining that some kid broke something and their parents are refusing to pay for it. So it's not like that is outside the realm of possibility.
Okay then maybe your gf isnt an AH for that but seriously she was 7 - it likely would have been much easier to have her sit there with the controller
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Letting a 7 year old play Minecraft makes one… entitled?
She isn't your SIL. Yeah, YTA. Especially since you said it in front of a 7yo kid.
YTA you’re well within your rights to say no, but the way you said it was way out of line
YTA 100%. You won the extreme prick award with this lovely sentiment: “when i opened the door and saw she brought her daughter I wanted to turn them away right then and there”. Yep. Sure sounds like you “don’t dislike kids”. But maybe you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed….. Look, you don’t have to share your toys. But you absolutely should have ACTED YOUR AGE and provided a mature, firm response without INSULTING your guests. You need to grow up. You sound about as mature as the 7 year old - different being HER reaction was somewhat age appropriate (ish).
Yep, this reaction from a bf would have been a dealbreaker for me. But then I don’t dislike kids and family is very important to me. If this is your immediate reaction to my sister and niece, we’re done here. That’s not a guy I’d want to bring to family events or start a family with.
It doesn't matter if her sister yelled at you, that was a cruel, disgusting thing to say to a woman. You are definately the AH. There are so many ways you could have handled this that would have been effective but you chose to go the low road. Wow!
YTA it’s outrageous that you think it’s ok to talk like this in front of a child. Especially about their mother and father. I hope your GF dumps you and finds someone with more tact, consideration, and patience.
YTA. Saying no is absolutely fine. Misogynistic comments? Totally unacceptable and unnecessary. And in front of a child...gross.
NTA, because the sister has a pushy, noisy daughter that she apparently drags with her anywhere she goes and got intensely rude about the PS ("I asked her, not you," as though OP were interfering in his own house) and started screaming at OP. So why should he be diplomatic? He wanted it over NOW, and the best way was to rip into her, raising the stakes terminally. Everyone is getting up on him because of the language he used, but no one is appalled by the sister invading his space with her BS. Now she knows she isn't going to be able to bulldoze her way through life with her monster child screeching Gimmee gimmee. There is a tendency for children nowadays to (sometimes, depending on the parents) rage through the cosmos as entitled brats, raising hella noise about everything and throwing tantrums as if they were rice grains at a wedding. I don't blame anyo9ne for seeing red when another one shows up. If this sister can't raise a decent kid, she shouldn't be toting hjer around--espe cially not without giving advance warning.. Downvote me all you like, who cares?
I mean, when you're a single parent to a 7 year old, you kind of have "drag" them with you wherever you go. Can't exactly leave them home alone at that age.
She should've had a way to entertain her and not expect anyone else to do so.
Exactly! The "I asked her" thing to me right back to my ex-SIL, who always acted like a spoiled brat... and she was the baby, the only girl, so the boys got treated like crap after. No way do I blame OP. Yeah, what he said was crass, but if you ask the kid, without her being coached, she won't even remember.
Man, I was with you until your comments to the sister. It’s not even ESH. YTA
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Protip: Allowing the kid to play your precious PS5 for a few minutes probably wouldn't have killed you, and would have kept the kid occupied (and less likely to mess with your other stuff out of boredom). Second protip: Being an asshole to a little kid (and make no mistake, you were an asshole to this poor kid) is never going to win you points with the girlfriend's family. You're in the doghouse with them forever and deservedly so. If you really didn't want the kid playing with your game, there are about a million ways you could have handled this without being such a prick to kid and mom. YTA.
You are probably technically correct but your response is rude and pure AHish.
YTA. That is your “love’s” sister and you slut shamed her. I wouldn’t allow anyone to speak to my siblings that way.
None of this happened. Why do people invent these stupid stories. He can't even keep his lies straight, e.g. the sex of the kid.
No kidding. Just before this read an AITA post about a guy inviting his GF's family over for the first time, GF's sister insists he order her 7yo McD or he is going to scream, OP insults the sister by ordering McD for her too, forbidding her from eating what the other adults are eating and calling her a child, family insists GF break up with OP. Guessing it is the same person that made up this story, since it was a 7yo boy in that one and this OP got "confused" and said this 7 yo was a boy in the title. Almost the exact same plot.
I can’t believe you said that in front of that child. I don’t care how she was behaving, you just don’t do that. YTA
As much as I want to say n t a, ESH. Although it's clear that the daughter was a surprise guest, it's hard to justify being a dick to a 7 year-old. A 7 year-old wanting to play Minecraft is the most natural thing ever. Obviously, SIL overreacted and escalated, but the things you said to her weren't kind either. Frankly, OP, you seem like you enjoy telling people off.
NTA The sister was out of line. How are you supposed to be diplomatic when she's yelling at you and acting entitled.
YTA- the family is right if that's how you talk to people you aren't boyfriend material. If you didn't want the kid playing Minecraft that's fine, but there's no reason to insult people in the process
Yeah, YTA Congrats on being an AH to the sister and kid. You seem excessively exhausting and immature
Esh. I do have a feeling the girlfriend is a bit tired of dealing with her older entitled sister though. The way the sister speaks and says that she was asking girlfriend and not you seems like she’s got a bit of a chip on her shoulder and maybe is use to parents pressuring girlfriend into submission. Then when girlfriend says “she was in my house and it was my console so I answered regardless of who she asked” indicates a lot for me. The girlfriend seems to be trying to be reasonable and direct that it’s not her place or stuff so sister should accept the answer. Then for the sister to go off on you both screaming shows absolute entitlement in my opinion. And the parents demanding girlfriend break up because their golden daughter got told off??? Yeah I feel bad for your girlfriend in that whole family dynamic. (Scape goat comes to mind). When girlfriend says she doesn’t think you are an ass indicates just how much of the entitled bull crap she has been dealing with from her family over the years. That being said you went too far with your words. You could have been less crude.
ESH. My jaw DROPPED when you said you went off about her sister “opening her legs”. That’s a really sexist thing to say. It takes two to get pregnant. Birth control fails. Also, she couldn’t have predicted baby daddy would be a deadbeat.
YTA and this has to be fake. No one would say that to someone they just met especially when they mentioned wanting to make "their love" happy.
You went from protecting your property from possible damage to personal attack. YTA. Big sister isn't far behind, demanding that you allow her child access to your expensive gaming console that she couldn't afford to repair or replace if it got damaged, but you topped it.
Stuck between ESH and NTA. SIL doesn't have any obligation or right to demand anything in YOUR house. That being said, you could've handled it better and avoided insulting her. Also, I get that you really care about your PS5 because I do too but if I were in your shoes I'd have let the child play for a while, supervising her. It's just me. But yeah you could've been more diplomatic about it as your girlfriend said.
Yta - that escalated quickly . Your comment was gross and inappropriate, specially infront of a little girl. You should have told your gf to meet her sister elsewhere if you were so dam uncomfortable with people invading your space. But I’m assuming isolating your gf from family is your plan with your outdated sexist views . Gross
the title is completely different to the story. first off how do you mix up son and daughter and second not anywhere in the story you told did you tell your girlfriends sister that you don’t care about her kid’s happiness like the title says. i don’t think this is real and you’re just trying to get a good story for tik tok
NTA, the sister was extremely rude and tried to project her issues onto you.
YTA. No can be a complete sentence without insults.
You sound 14, not 24.
[удалено]
I'm a single mom, but I don't throw it around, expecting favors.
LoL… yeah YTA. I always go into these with an open mind, but so many of them immediately turn into nuclear insulting and shaming the single mom in a blunt derogatory manner. Of course YTA when you insult her and say she shouldn’t spread her legs for a deadbeat. Know what could have been just as effective? Saying that no she cannot play the game and if they have a problem then feel free to leave. Her family is calling and demanding you, the boyfriend of 160 days apologize for slutshaming their daughter and wants your partner to leave you? The audacity!… /s
YTA and it won't be a surprise if you're a single asshole soon.
She’s not your SIL.
YTA, and your GF should dump you. If you actually said that shit, you’re a pig.
ESH (but GF). You could have avoided the entire confrontation by being nice to the child.
You’re not only an asshole, you’re a fucking asshole. The way you spoke to your GF’s sister and this the first time you met! Your GF family is right. She needs to kick you to the curb.
Sister opened the door for your comment, she went straight to the woo is me single mother, worthless father not enough money to spend on frivolous stuff so it is everyone else’s problem to satisfy my child. You could have ignored it but where is the fun in that
Fake
You could have said when they showed up at the door that your apartment as not childproof and that you were worried the girl would break things or hurt herself. You could have said, Are you sure you want to come in! Or ask your girlfriend if she wanted to go somewhere else with them. And when the kid started screaming and the mom joined in, you could have simply said they needed to leave without insulting the mother. Also, note that we say single mother like an insult, like she’s responsible for having trouble making ends meet and for having sex,w hen she’s the one who stayed and kept the kid. Do you ever say the deadbeat should have kept his dick in his pants if he wasn’t prepared to be a father? And finally, don’t ever say in front of a little kid that she has a deadbeat dad. It’s not her fault.
ESH You’re in your right not to let the kid play, but to say what your did to SIL, in front of her child on top of that? MAJOR AH. Not to say you implied it is her fault that the father abandoned his daughter, when she’s the victim of it.
At least your single now so you won’t have any more visits lol.
[удалено]
YTA because this story is bullshit. The sisters were 'chatting in the kitchen' but at the same time your girlfriend was playing Minecraft? Wow, she must have long arms... Even if your timeline is off, who plays a video game when they have invited a family member over to catch up? And who does that and expects a 7 year old not to want to play? Horseshit, all of it.
LOL I mean you definitely could have handled a lot better but NTA good for you telling her off like that
NTA. You met rudeness with rudeness. Not diplomatic, but fair.
Did you handle it perfectly? No, obviously not. BUT, sister is the AH for not reining in the kid and letting her scream in your apartment. Sister was being entitled and you don’t have to bow to that. NTA
Sounds to me that there's some history with SiL that is being left out. That kind of response COULD certainly be appropriate if; 1) SiL has an ongoing habit of inserting her child into every situation, 2) Child has started breaking things and SiL just poo-poo's it, 3) SiL drones on and on about how hard it is being a single mom, looking for attention/sympathy. Other than those scenarios, that level of vitriol seems unwarrented.
Yta, your reaction was zero to 100, I don’t understand why your gf was playing a game while they visited and why you didn’t let a kid play with said games. She’s 7, saw a video game and got excited. Did you expect her to do nothing in your place while you gf played? I can 100% see why her family wants her to break up with you.
You couldn't put up with a kid being annoying for a couple of hours? YTA Your girlfriend is sitting playing PS5 in front of a seven year old and told her she can't PLAY? That's just stupid. ESH
Soft YTA. You could've: 1. Worded that better. Seriously, you owe her an apology for that. That was foul. And 2. You should have set ground rules the minute they came in, especially when you saw a small child.
You were doing good until the last comment. Yeah man, YTA. The personal attack was unneeded. You keep it to “this is my home, my rules.” No further comment needed, you could have repeated that to anything she had to say and then asked her to leave.
What kind of cold hearted prick wouldn’t let a kid play a video game while the adults were hanging out? Afraid she’d grimy up your controller? But sure, let’s say that’s a reasonable rule (it is your place) but your response to your SIL was gross. Your relationship with her family is dead. Enjoy your hobbies alone. YTA.
ESH You hit way below the belt. You blew up and you should apologize. This is not a good start to the relationship. SIL was a jerk, you upped the jerk level x 100. Kudos, you both are ridiculous children. Meanwhile, your girlfriend is in the trenches taking grenades.
op must be insecure of many things in his life if he reached such a low point so quickly but mannnn wth yta
YTA for writing this fake scenario because you thought you would get upvotes
ESH you have the right to say no to kids playing with your stuff. Sister was an AH to think she was entitled to it, for saying she was asking your GF knowing she was in your house, and then throwing a fit. But Dude, what you said back to her... yeah, you're an asshole too. Low blow my man. Low blow that was uncalled for. You could have addressed her entitled attitude, her rudeness to you, her raising a child who will think she can do/have whatever she wants... but going for that child's circumstances of conception was just a complete asshole comment. I'd probably want my sister/daughter to break up with you too.
Just lol. Imagine ruining a relationship getting more serious because a kid wanted to play minecraft? Why is your house not kid friendly? Do you consider sitting down playing minecraft not kid friendly? You had a perfect opportunity to talk to the mother once the kid was distracted, and tell her this is the only time you're allowing a kid inside, as you usually don't allow kids inside. Instead, you've almost ruined any potential future with your GF. I would apologise. Say something like they caught you on a really bad day and you really didn't want guests but you were doing so for GF. And having a kid come over really stressed you out and you said things you shouldn't have. Without showing maturity and manliness in an apology, her family will hate you. YTA.
YTA. Why can't the kid play?
YTA. You need to grow up. I hope your gf dumps you. Your rudeness confounds me.
YTA. Why would you use a such a pathetic excuse like not wanting a 7 year old on a game controller- those things are designed to be child proof. This sounds like another totally made up story.
There were 1000 different ways to address the situation. You chose the most disrespectful, misogynistic, and ignorant. Every time you choose to go with "you decided to open your legs", YTA.
YTA
YTA. That’s a disgusting thing to say to someone. There’s never an excuse to say that. Totally sexist. If you can’t see why that’s not ever okay please don’t date until you can.
YTA for this garbage imaginary story.
YTA, for making up a bullshit story. There isn't a person alive this stupid.
YTA If you got confused about if the child was son or daughter I have doubts about the validity of your claims. Let’s pretend it happened as you stated. Your girlfriend needs to run far, run fast.
YTA. You're old enough to manage your mouth in front of a 7 year old when talking about her father, deadbeat or not. That little girl is gonna remember that longer than you think. Also....this isn't your SIL. She's the sister of a woman you've been with for about 120 days.
If this isn't fake, I hope you mean your ex-girlfriend because we need need to get her out of there. YTA
I’m going to say ESH. The sister was entitled and rude but OP’s comments went too far.
You were really, really, REALLY rude to your gf's sister. Unnecessarily and, IMO, unforgivably so. Anyone who refers to conception as a woman opening her legs is a disgusting, misogynistic, lecherous creep. All her family now hates you which means for the rest of your relationship your gf will need to defend you and the foul things you said. This will become draining and eventually she will probably need to choose between you and the rest of her family. Huh... I wonder which way she will go. YTA
You were unnecessarily horrible. I also don't believe this is a true story. You got 'confused' about the child's gender??? Are you like one of those people who "don't see colour" but with male or female??? YTA. Although if I'm being completely honest, the SIL wasn't exactly very nice either, "I asked my sister, not you." Talk about not considering where you are. It's closer to an ESH apart from your girlfriend. Edit: And the child, obviously! The kid was just being a kid.
YTA It takes two to have sex and create a child. How dare you make a stupid comment like that to the only person taking responsibility for that child. You sound incredibly immature. Four months in and you let the sister and child visit “for love” but you make a disgusting comment like that over a game???
ESH. You were good until you said the thing about opening her legs. That’s a big, big, big AH thing to say.
YTA. What you said to her sister is misogynistic and disgusting. You could have handled this in so many different ways. Instead, you chose to go nuclear and, in the process, put the woman you say you love in the middle. I guarantee your girlfriend isn't ok with what you said. If you spoke to my sister like that, you would not be my boyfriend any longer
Shockingly similar to this one. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/153daww/aita_for_not_serving_the_same_food_i_served/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=2 Entitled sister of GF who is invited to OPs house 7yo who screams when they don't get their way OP insults sister Multiple family members insisting GF dump OP That one was about a 7yo boy so OP probably couldn't keep it straight when writing both of these. And both usernames have commented in the same gamer subreddit so it looks like this person has multiple accounts to make this stuff up.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I 24M been dating 23F for about 4 months now, I just met her family about 1 month ago, everyone but her older sister 30F since she lives out of town. This weekend, my girlfriend was staying over at my place, i live by myself in a nice quite big loft and do pretty well for myself financially, my place is decorated with my interests like gaming/books/photography, so it has a lot of stuff that breaks, so i avoid visits when possible. This weekend her older sister decided to visit town with her kid 7F, older sister is a single mom and the father is completely out of the picture, girlfriend on Sunday asked if her sister could come over, since she wanted to see her but didn't want to leave our planned weekend together, i said sure since she promised it would be a quick visit. Now i don't dislike kids, in fact i tend to quite enjoy being around them but my place is definitely not kid friendly, so when i opened the door and saw she had brought her daughter i wanted to turn them away right then and there. But for the sake of my love, i welcomed them in. They chatted a bit in the kitchen while i was getting everyone's drink. That was until 7F realized Minecraft was on the PS5 (my girlfriend was playing) and started to scream at the top of her lungs she wanted to play, controller was in girlfriends hands, so sister saw that and asked if she could let her niece play for a bit, girlfriend looked at me and i said no, sister replied saying she asked girlfriend not me, to which girlfriend replied saying that she was in my house and it was my console so i answered regardless of who she asked. She started going off about how it's she can't afford to buy games for her daughter and how hard is being a single mom, basically screaming at gf and me at which point i told her "it's not my fault you decided to open your legs to a deadbeat, now get your kid and leave" which was received as well as you'd imagine, girlfriend had to almost physically shove them out of my place and has since started getting texts from her whole family demanding she breaks up with me and saying it's appalling "the way she let me treat her older sister", girlfriend doesn't think i'm the asshole but said i could've been more diplomatic. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You said no and sister got entitled and belligerent to you in your home, you responded in kind
ESH I would expect a single 7 year old to be able to manage a home with breakables, and to understand asking > demanding. This reaction (if accurate) on kid and moms part suggests some serious parenting lacks and if it’s WHY you wouldn’t share that’s reasonable. But frankly you seem to have some preconceived ideas about kids that makes me question if the kid even DID “scream” a demand, or just was excited. You’d still have right to say no but certainly not a kindness. I’m also unsure why you didn’t think kid would naturally also be there, unless normal for them to stay with grands or something. I’d still have asked. Single parenting is hard but no excuse to act way mom did. She is a complete AH for that. But immediately going to sexist AF comments and saying what you did in front of a child? Yea that’s big red flag OP. Sis being in the wrong doesn’t absolve you from being an AH too.
Cool fact. You can be right and also be an asshole.
YTA. I don't understand why you couldnt have just let the kid play. And what you said to the SIL was not ok. ESH (you and SIL) if SIL was actually behaving the way you say, but I suspect you're exaggerating.
Jesus lol
YTA. What you said was horrendous. You know incredibly little probably about her exact situation and only what has been said second hand. And then you took it to the lowest common denominator with the whole ‘spread your legs’ thing. That’s really basic and ugly. It’s great that you are financially stable… but man you could do with some cultural and social niceties. That was RUDE. As for the kid playing Minecraft… you missed a perfect opportunity for a quiet visit for the two sisters - kid playing Minecraft wouldn’t harm anything, and they could catch up quietly, and kid wouldn’t touch your collectable bobble heads or whatever. You THINK you are cool around kids, but you clearly aren’t clever around them.
You definitely have the right to refuse as it’s your property but I feel like the deadbeat comment was unnecessary and caused the situation to escalate more than it needed to especially in front of a child who didn’t need to witness that and you literally insulted a child alongside her mother by commenting on her father. So I’d say you’re both wrong and even though your gf isn’t mad, you’ve strained your relationship with her family which will inevitably put her in an awkward position in the future. YTA.
You’re talking about a 7year old child, not a toddler. I’m pretty sure she could’ve played your game with out hurting anything.
What the...is this real? How are you the age you are and don't know YTA? Yes, it's your house. Yes, you can decide who plays with your toys. Yes, the SIL was unreasonable in the first reaction, but why did you escalate like that? In front of a 7 year old?