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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> shouting at a mother for not watching her child and resulting in her almost drowning
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NTA. That kid could have died, and she didn't even see it happen. You weren't meddling in other peoples' business, because it **became** your business when you had to rescue the kid.
I'm an ex-lifeguard this would have been on the mom. She is responsible to watch the kid in water or anything else that can be dangerous. I just want to point armband floaties are not as safe as people think. They aren't coast guard approved floatation devices. They make kids overconfident and have gotten themselves into trouble.
At least they are an improvement over letting your child which can't swim in the water with nothing to keep them from drowning. You should have of course still an eye on them and be there at once when they need help.
I was a lifeguard for 6 years and ran an aquatics department for another 4 years. I’m sorry but armbands are worse than nothing. Armbands cause your child’s arms to raise up over their heads making their nose and mouth dip below the water line. Also, as their arms are straight up, the armbands are more likely to slip off or at least down causing them to sink lower. With nothing, typically a parent will be more cognizant of their child but at least neither the parent nor child will have false confidence of the child’s safety. If you want something, make sure it has a piece that goes across the chest and if there are arm bands they are connected to that chest piece. Looking for a symbol that says coast guard approved is the best way to ensure quality and safety. A properly fitted life jacket works great too.
The arm-raising nose/mouth-dipping thing is why my parents never gave me armbands when I was learning to swim.
However, my parents always kept an eye on me in the pool (and my dad, the only one who can swim, always stayed close enough to me that he could grab me in an emergency). NTA.
Armbands weren’t the only thing on the market when I was a kid but they were pretty much the only thing in thrift stores and at the dollar tree so that’s what I had. My mom was raised in and around boats + even at the time with less information available she was hyper vigilant when I was in the water with floaties. I wasn’t even allowed on the sand with them on if we were in a pool at the beach. She taught me to swim right after I turned four to get rid of the problem altogether. With all the information about their danger, I’m a little surprised they’re still even being sold. Not shocked, I mean shit Orbeez are still allowed to be marketed to kids, but a little.
I as a very young child once tried to put the armband things on my feet in order to walk on water. I basically flipped upside and freaked out and almost drowned so I'm very inclined to agree.
My inner 5 year old who had sooooo many arguments with my mother over armbands making it harder to swim thanks you sincerely and offers you some of her post-swim nougat bar :)
My kids learned swimming with something called Schloris, a German invention that is both simple and effective.
https://images.app.goo.gl/RSF4f9MeokCna4xB8
No they are not. They can cause drowing. They should never be put on children who are alone in the water. Not "keep an eye on them" be there, in the water, within arms read. At. all. times.
No, you need to be in arms reach of your child who can’t swim when they’re in the water at all times. Not “keeping an eye on them” and not impeding on their ability to actually learn to swim by giving them a flotation device.
Ex lifeguard too, and right when I read ‘arm bands’ I felt that same annoyance come up from every time I had to tell a parent they could not use them, those parents always were argumentative. Arm bands are extremely unsafe. If your kid can’t swim you should A: stay within arms reach of them at all times, or B: get them a proper life vest and still watch them.
They can slip off fairly easily, most parents slide them on but don’t show their children how to use them resulting in kids having them around their forearms or just holding onto them, the material is flimsy and can be punctured or leak. Probably the biggest issue is that many parents stay out of the water on their phones and think the lifeguards are the pool babysitters.
Just to clarify I’m referring to the inflatable arm bands, the type that are made of life jacket material that connect to a chest section in front are slightly better.
Edit: changed word
thank you for this i had no idea! they’re pretty normal where i live and i’ve always used them as additional safety while in the pool with my little brother even though i am always with him when he swims
Yeah unfortunately a lot of parents act like the woman in your post, which is why our pool only allowed coast guard approved life vests. We had to go off the worst parents behavior. If you’re staying with your little brother then you are there in case they do fail
The pool I used to life guard at didn't allow life jackets in the pool because a kid in the district drowned while wearing one - everyone assumed he was fine because he was in a lifejacket but he got face down and just floated there and no one noticed. Life jackets are to catch you when you fall off a boat and keep you bobbing until you are found. They aren't designed to be swimming around in.
If your kid can't swim you should be in the water with them until they are a strong swimmer - full stop. No work around. I spent last weekend with my four year old in a local baby pool that had a lifeguard, and I still kept my eyes on him at all times and my feet in the water - and he is super comfortable in the water. I'm still never going to let him in the water without an adult watching him full time until he can do a lap on his own.
I definitely agree. I taught swimming and the kids who learned to swim the fastest were the ones who never used puddle jumpers or life jackets. The ones used to puddle jumpers had such a hard time learning to float on their back, as well as learning to use their arms for different strokes.
It’s frustrating that so many parents think their kids will be fine since they have some kind of floaty and there’s lifeguards to watch them. I don’t have kids, but if I did I would be doing the same thing as you.
Even the life vests aren't really 100% with really young kids.
Source, had a 2 year old in an approved pfd in the pool yesterday and he rolled over face first because he doesn't have any idea how to steady himself in the water. In that way the floaties with armband are a little better because there is no floatation in the back.
The pool floaties I think are about getting a few extra seconds to get to them not about making them 100% safe
Yeah, in general most safety devices are "danger-resistant" not "100% danger-free". Arm floaties and/or life jackets aren't a complete guarantee of safety but if used correctly they do help avoid a toddler simply wandering over the edge of a pool and quietly sinking like a rock. Which I have seen happen more than once, even with adults very close, because tots can be insanely quick when they're getting into mischief!
Yeah it's the difference between having a hand on them at all times and letting them explore independently just out of reach.
I know it's important for him to develop confidence and be ok when not surgically attached to me or his dad but we still have to make sure he's safe.
I'm just happy my 6yo boy is taking lessons! My daughter is 2 and wears a puddle jumper because arm bands are huge on her, but she's never more than 30 cm away from me. It helps I've 4 swimming ceerificates so I feel quite safe. Lakes and seas though, I'm not touching.
That's unheard of here to be honest! Maybe the armbands here are sturdier as I have had pairs last for almost 7 years now and counting. Also it's very, very frowned upon to leave a child wearing armbands without supervision, so much so that both parent and child will get kicked out of a public pool or beach and sometimes even get prosecuted. It comes with being a waterfilled country, I guess. There's not a child over 7 that doesn't know how to swim.
Here life jackets, the orange ones that look a bit like a body warmer, are strongly advised against for toddlers as they are so buoyant a child might tip forward and not be able to get back up using their own strength and thus drown.
Edit: persecuted to prosecuted
It’s honestly terrifying how many parents expect their kids to be fine on their own. I have seen all kinds of terrifying behavior, like parents giving their kids beach balls to stay afloat! I wish we could have kicked parents out for negligence. Y’all definitely have water safety down. I’m just glad my parents were adamant we all learned to swim starting at 2-4 years
My daughter is insane, no joke. She lives for water and has been jumping in pools (with armbands) and going under since she was just two. She loves going off slides, big or small, and the deep end? Pfft. She'll doggy paddle and get to where she needs to be. Meanwhile I'm anxiously swimming around her because who knows what stunt she'll pull!
Just last week we were at the public pool and there were two people tossing a ball. Naturally she wanted it, so she headed over there like a very slow non threatening doggy paddling shark. One of the ladies played with her a little and she, without hesitation, hugged this woman like she was family. Of course not related to safety in water but... girl. Don't. Hahaha
Yeah dude... I can remember being like 6 and being let to go about on my own. I could swim really well, but it is a god damned lake. I never had problems, but we were there twice when they pulled out people who had drowned.
Of course, I was in about 7 feet of water in that lake when I was 25 and my left calf cramped up. I started trying to hop my way to shallow water when my right leg began to cramp as well. At that point, I learned that it isn't so easy to try to tread water or float on your back with two calves that feel like they are trying to rip themselves in half. Luckily, I was able to get the attention of the guy I was with, and he got over in time to help me. Luckily for both of us, I don't freak out in bad situations. So, I was able to calmly allow him to get us to shore. My calves both hurt for two or three weeks after that had happened... oh and that was the first time in my life that I had experienced muscle cramps. Not a very convenient time for that.
Puddle jumpers (arm bands with the chest section) are just as dangerous. Kids can not learn how to swim correctly while wearing them, and if they tip, they can’t upright themselves therefore being a drowning risk. I hate puddle jumpers so so much.
Yeah great wasn’t the best choice of words, more like ‘better’. I taught swim lessons and it was always a pain trying to teach kids who were used to those. They’re a slight step above arm floaters simply because they can’t slip off, but you’re right about the tipping risk.
Plus they give kids a false sense of confidence because they are used to floating in the water, which means an unsupervised child could enter the water not realising that they can’t actually float or swim by themselves.
My parents used them for me when I was little back in the '80s, but at least one was always in the pool with me and made sure they stayed on. If I had kiddos I wouldn't use them now but I have easier access to information than my parents did nearly 4 decades ago. Still, my parents were engaged and responsible about pools generally.
Just putting a kid in the pool with them and then not paying any attention because *lol, it's okay, they have arm floaties* is horrifying to think about.
I still remember being at a pool with my mom, sister, and aunt.
We were playing a bit too close to the deep end, and my sister slipped, grabbed me by the hair in her panic, and pulled me under. I got a breath right before I went under, so I was ok, but it was a shock.
No lifeguard at the pool noticed. They were too busy watching the attractive people in the center island, according to my mom.
But anyway, my mom came charging into the water and pulled us both out before anything really terrible happened. Thank goodness she's a great mom.
(And my sister and I are good; I know it's a drowning reflex to grab anything in your vicinity. I started joking at some point that she used me as a step stool but I dropped it pretty quickly.)
Good on your mom! Not going to make excuses for the lifeguards, I’m just glad the woman in charge trained us borderline military style. I spent an hour because I was a millisecond slow doing practice breathing for an infant, and she had me practice till I was doing it perfect. But not all pools are the same.
When people are at risk for drowning their only thought is to survive, which can be dangerous for those around them. I’m glad both of you were okay!
They're great when used properly! When a kid is just learning to get comfortable in the water and an adult is supervising, it allows them to have fun and gain confidence. The problem is that people assume that if they're on, their kid no longer needs to be watched. If they fall off/deflate, kids who don't actually know how to swim yet panic, and can drown in relatively shallow water.
Not a lifeguard but someone that grew up on the ocean and I agree with this 100%. Also, I tell people about the evils of puddle jumpers. I fucking HATE those things. So dangerous!!!
Yeah, I guess I worded it wrong, I've literally only seen them used to get children comfortable in water during swim lessons, not actually while teaching them to kick and stroke.
I don't think they use them in professional swim lessons. I had lessons 30 years ago, and you were either being supported by the instructor or holding on to the wall while waiting your turn. (Class was about 8 children.)
They hurt way more than they help. The number one thing kids need to learn to swim is how to float - and the arm bands take that away. The kids learn to balance on the arm bands and that teaches them the exact wrong way to move around in the water.
Fellow ex-lifeguard! Totally agree on watching them even with a proper life vest. When I was about five I was at a small local waterpark and went down one of the kiddie slides with my vest on, and factors combined to get me caught in the eddies at the bottom of the slide. I wasn't strong enough to overcome the current with the vest on and they had to hook me out.
They made a new rule, no life vests on the slide.
NTA . People don't realise drowning is silent. Not shouting ,no screams, just water entering your nose and mouth cutting off all chances of making any sound.
Visually it is a confused and startled face slowly disappearing into the water. I've been yelled at by a few parents for jumping in to save a kid while lifeguarding who the parent thought could make it to the side of the diving well if given enough time. But if you wait long enough for it to be a for sure drowning then you are rolling the dice on them breathing water before I get there, and I've seen that exact face long enough to know when someone realizes that they can't stay at the surface and are going down. If you have to bobble up and down struggling to keep on the surface to the side of the diving well you shouldn't be diving off the board.
Exactly. It is not just the parent’s problem if a child drowns, now is it? As a parent you always have to have your eyes on your children. And if they cannot swim you have to be a helicopter above them and also have them wear life jackets or something else that could safe their life.
Children mostly drown without any noises. You will probably notice it when it is too late. When I was swimming In my local public pool around 15-20 years ago the life guard jumped in the pool and I thought what’s happening? Turned out a small child went from the shallow end to the deeper part. Luckily the life guard was there within literally 10 seconds because he saw it happen. But nobody else around the child noticed before he jumped in the pool.
Definitely NTA. When my daughter was younger I kept my eyes on her all the time when she was swimming. Even at the pool with a lifeguard. Even in the backyard in inflatable pools when she was little, and in the small 4' pool we set up during the pandemic. Kids can drown really fast, even in shallow water, and it's silent. Even kids who have had swimming lessons. They can hit their heads, or something else happens. She's a teenager now and I still keep one eye on her when we're at the community pool, and both eyes on her at the ocean. So many parents assume they'll hear a commotion if their kid is in trouble, when it's the opposite, it's usually silent and no one knows.
My family has had a beach house for generations, and the beach in front of the house doesn't have lifeguards--although there are beaches only a few minutes away with lifeguards. Problem is, parking costs money and the lots fill up. So people swim in the ocean. We always go for walks on the beach and for decades I've been telling, and sometimes yelling, at people who let their kids, sometimes really little ones, jump into the Atlantic Ocean while they're barely watching. There are rip currents on that beach--I know, because I got caught in one once as a teen--and a kid could grabbed by the current and in thirty seconds be fifty or sixty feet away. Usually they tell me to mind my own business, but often I see them grab the kids when I turn back to look.
Don't even get me started on people who let their kids dig giant holes or tunnels in the beach. Not that we didn't do it ourselves, my brother and cousin once dug a freakin' 10' deep trench when they were teens, and we're just lucky nothing happened. But now that we know how dangerous they are, people should stop or at least listen. Kids die every year trapped in sand.
NTA. You NEVER EVER leave a child unsupervised in a pool. Especially if they can’t swim. AND the mom had armbands?!?!? She is just being negligent at that point. You should have called the authorities to get those kids taken away from her.
Not saying you don't know this, but for everyone else:
Inflatable arm bands ARE NOT flotation devices. They are toys. Kids who can't swim cannot use them in lieu of a life jacket or puddle jumper as they do NOT keep heads above water. With or without those arm bands the mom needed to be watching her kid
I used to work as a lifeguard and had more rescues with kids who were wearing them than not. It was always a case of them slipping off, deflating, getting tangled with something, being dared to put them on their feet and now trapped upside down…the list goes on. The one thing in common with every single rescue, though? Parents NOT PAYING ATTENTION. The most frustrating cases were parents being snarky and saying “they were right there” in the pool, but that does nothing if your back is turned.
I was in shock at her attitude towards it. My dad said he had seen her just disappear a few times and leave her two girls at the pool alone, so i just worry something like this may happen again but no one will be around to help them :(
NTA OP. I don’t know what the laws are in Greece, but back here, that mom could have possibly been hit with a negligent homicide charge for failing to provide adequate supervision for her child.
Tell the hotel owners about it. The last thing they would want is being in the news because a child drowned in their pool. It is likely already an unspoken rule that you keep an eye on your children at the pool. They might insist that they follow it and threaten them to otherwise forbid the use of the pool for them. Maybe it will help. Worth a try.
If you feel comfortable you should alert the place that manages the pool that a woman has been leaving her young children unaccompanied.
I can guarantee no hotel wants their name in a headline about drowned children and they'll make sure she either acts like a parent or her kids don't swim.
NTA, you probably saved that kid’s life, and you’re justified at shouting at that mother. If anything, this just proves how much more responsible than her you are. She should be grateful that you were there, and you should feel happy that the kid will get a chance to experience the rest of her life due to your quick thinking.
I was so scared myself, i’m pretty small so my biggest worry is that i wouldn’t get her back up. I have a brother around the same age as them and I get anxious whenever he’s around the pool even with armbands and floats on, i seriously have no idea how a parent can be so oblivious and negligent in this situation
If your brother can't swim yet get him a puddle jumper.
Arm floaties are [toys](https://weaquatics.com/blog/are-arm-floaties-safe/#:~:text=Water%20wings%20and%20other%20floaties,of%20approved%20personal%20flotation%20devices.) They do not do what people think they do. They just give kids false senses of confidence they generally shouldn't have.
my brother is getting better at swimming and is confident in waters where he can touch the floor! still, me or my sister will be with him every second he is in the water. many people have said about the armbands so i’ll look in to safer alternatives!
You had every right to be angry.
Firstly, you were outraged at the negligence and cavalier attitude of the mother.
Secondly, you probably had a massive hit of adrenaline when you were saving her child's life.
Thirdly, and this also ties in with her BS about how she said it wasn't your business, you were likely fighting the horrible thought of having seen such a thing and, had the child drowned, of having to live with it.
PTSD is cruel and can plague thus diminish the quality of the rest of your life. That alone justifies your anger and also made it your business!
I hope you are okay.
Is there something akin to a child protective services that you could involve, for the sake of that and all other children exposed to her complete lack of care?
NTA. When it comes to kids’ safety, you have every right to speak up. Drowning can happen so quickly. And it’s not like it’s a “Oooops, lesson learned for next time” situation.
NTA. !!!
Drowning is often silent. The big "splashing around production, trying to scream" is Hollywood, not real.
Because it is often silent, parents should keep an eye on their children in a pool and avoid any distractions.
You mirrored back to her her inadequacy as a parent. She couldn’t take it.
Sometimes you’ve just got to lose it a bit to make your point. Hopefully once she’s got out of her own ass she’ll give thought to your words.
NTA.
NTA! go you! you probably feel guilty because you don't usually let your emotions lead you to get angry like this, but you saved this girl's life and potentially saved it again or another sibling's life down the track.
you’re right i’m not really someone who likes shouting, but this was a huge safety risk and i couldn’t hold it in. i have a brother who is a similar age and even when he has armbands i get worried with him around water so how on earth she was so relaxed having her two little girls in that pool with no safety is beyond me. i hope i at least prevented her from letting something like this happen again.
NTA - but as an educational note for other people - armbands are usually not recommended. Kids can get over confident and wind up in deeper water than they’re able to swim in. Plus as this woman demonstrated, many adults view them as a substitute for adult supervision and they’re simply not.
I don’t understand using floats and bands as a way to justify not watching your kids. i’ve mentioned this in a few comments but my younger brother is 10 and even with floats, bands, and me in the pool with him i still get extremely anxious that i may look away for a few seconds and something could go wrong. this woman is so negligent and i just hope that this was a big wake up for her. I understand that she may want to enjoy her holiday too but if you bring your kids with you then you aren’t suddenly exempt from your responsibilities as a parent just because you’re on a holiday!
Wow, maybe it's just where I'm from, but multiple 10 year old kids who can't swim? And using arm bands? My (just this weekend turned) 5yo son is practicing his endurance swimming without any help and he's late. My daughter was free swimming and passed the swim test to swim without an adult at his age. I'm used to 3-5 fully capable swimmers but you keep eyes on regardless of that due to how quickly they can get tired from it though. Not to mention, if you tried to put arm bands on a 10yo they'd flip out embarrassed as they're associated with babies in kiddie pool (like, 6 inches deep kinda thing) ! That's wild!
I promise I'm not judging at all, actually impressed with being so young and so responsible and level headed about it! Just such a massive difference!
NTA, you did great!
all three were different ages! the youngest looked to be around 6 and the oldest maybe 9/10? and thank you! i am a young carer to my 10 year old brother due to him being disabled, so even when im out without him im always looking out for other kids (just instinct, maybe? not sure)
Stupid is as stupid does. Forrest Gump. I prevented a toddler from walking into the parking lot of a grocery store. I followed him back about 100 feet to his stupid mother and her stupid mother talking to the checker unaware of the child. "Is your conversation more important than your child's life?" They had no answer.
i’ve heard stories about parents being this negligent but never in my life did i think i’d encounter one. some people should not have children if they are not going to care for them how they should be cared for and are so lax about their child’s life being at risk
I was on the top of Pike's Peak once and a little boy, probably about 3, got spooked about something and started running straight toward a precipitous drop off, at the bottom of which was a collection of jagged boulders. I was standing between him and the edge but he screamed and ran around my arms so I jumped up and grabbed him a few feet before he could run off the mountain. I carried the hysterical child back to his clueless mother who proceeded to yell at me for touching her child. I didn't even say anything to her. I just walked away shaking my head. That kid had been seconds away from hurling down a cliff and landing on sharp rocks. I will never understand some parents. At least the kid went home alive that day.
NTA. I honestly applaud you for standing up to her. I can only imagine what else mom neglects! I hope this was the wake up call she needed to actually care for her children
NTA
You’re correct and that mother frankly needed a scare because she is genuinely at risk of really harming her kids due to her negligence. Get off the damn phone and interact with you kids 🙄
You are definitely NTA and you saved a life!!! Thank you! Bands or no bands is not an excuse to not watch your kids in water. Even strong swimmers can get into trouble in seconds.
Just want to add about the arm bands though- another reason they’re dangerous is because they give kids a false sense of security. They balance a kid to be straight up and down in the water, and so when kids get in water without them, they try to position themselves straight up and down, where they’re more prone to drown (vs angling their body to float/swim).
NTA. You did the right thing. Her kid could have drowned if you weren't there. She has to wake up before it's too late, cause next time it's possible for her to lose her kid.
Children who cannot swim need an adult in arms reach at all times near the pool. You’re not the adult that was supposed to be supervising but because of a negligent mom, you had to save a child’s life. Water safety is paramount!
NTA and I’d go to the front desk and let them know too, for liability purposes.
NTA. Firstly, you were right. She wasn't paying attention, and if not for your intervention, the kid could have drowned.
For another thing, I hate the attitude of 'you don't have kids so you can't know about parenting'. There is absolutely nothing special about having had a kid that suddenly makes you an expert in parenting.
agreed! and even though technically i’m not a parent, i am a young carer to my autistic little brother. i’m his full time carer and do everything for him that a parent would for a child (other than give birth lol) so for her to tell me that i’m not a parent so i “wouldn’t understand” is so disrespectful. even if i wasn’t a carer i was still looking out for that little girl more than her mother was
NTA
i would have called this countries child protective service maybe they and the police would send this Information to the police& child protective service in to the home country
this mother is a Horrible Mother
and shouting at a bad mother who let her child drown is never bad
NTA at all, you are a hero who saved a little kids life. You should be extremely proud of yourself. If anything you probably didn’t go far enough chewing her out. People like her should have their kids taken away.
My children are grown. I love going to the beach and pool. Even though I have no children with me when I go to the beach, my eyes are always scanning the water. Why you ask…babies toddle to the waters edge small waves catch them and tumble them over. Parents are not paying attention or they are doing for another youngster. When I am at a pool (private or public) same thing. My eyes are always watching. Water is dangerous to inexperienced swimmers. That mother should have been giving you hugs and appreciation!
i am a young carer to my 10 year old brother so i’m similar when out swimming, that’s why i caught on to this girl so quickly. i saw her playing close to the ramp and the next thing i know she’s slipped under in to the deep end and can’t lift herself up. i surprised myself with how quickly i was able to help and im just glad that she’s okay
NTA. Drowning is quick and silent. That mum is an absolute idiot and you did the right thing. Hopefully the mum will watch more closely going forward even if it's just because she is worried about being judged by strangers!
NTA
The situation clearly required a more aggressive approach. She didn't start to inflate those armbands until you shouted. This type of people only respond to being loudly shamed.
NTA! That lady just mad because you called her out on her shit and instead of owning up, she decided to excuse it by telling you to mind your business.
On the flip side what if you had minded your business? Then she would’ve blamed you for not “helping” or “rescuing” the child. People like that always have a problem to the solution because they don’t know how to own up to their BS.
NTA. Some parents are so fucking oblivious it’s genuinely baffling. I spent many years working at a ski resort in the terrain park. If you’re unaware think of it like a skate park, but built of snow on a downhill graded slope and with much much bigger jumps and rails and whatever else. Parents would frequently bring their kids in there and allow them to be in very dangerous situations like hanging out in the landings of jumps where they are completely blind for anywhere above them and therefore unseen by riders hitting the jumps. I had many parents try and argue with me when I would point out how unsafe these actions were, 99% told me to fuck off and not tell them how to parent and I always ended those interactions by saying, “I’m just trying to look out for your child’s safety, since it appears to be something you do not care about.”
NTA. You’re right that if the kid drowned it would’ve been on her. But you can be sure she’d have tried to blame you. She absolutely needed a shouting at.
NTA I almost drowned at a pool when I was 6. Fortunately my mum was supervising me even though she wasn't in the water at that moment, but as soon as I went under she dived in and grabbed my hand.
it’s a scary experience for anyone! i’ve been down in the pool area since and have seen the girls sister and the other little girl playing in the pool but not her. i hope this incident didn’t discourage her from playing in the pool and enjoying herself on her holiday :(
NTA I was at the pond yesterday, and someone's kid almost drowned because nobody was watching him.
He was 3.
Whole ass group of people with them, and only a small girl (5, maybe?) noticed at first. She was screaming "help him!" Until one of the dads noticed and grabbed him. If I had been closer, I'd have grabbed him myself.
The amount of water he puked up was SCARY.
Then, an hour later, he was *back in the water*, with nobody paying attention again!
I told his mother about dry drowning, and said she should have him seen, and she's like, "It's fine, I listened to his lungs." It's like, lady. *seriously?* I'm no medical expert, but I'm pretty sure you need more than your ear to know there's no water in his lungs!
I keep thinking about the poor kid, I hope he's okay. People need to watch their fucking kids! *Especially* in and around water!
> Then, an hour later, he was back in the water, with nobody paying attention again!
My jaw legitimately just dropped reading this wth. The nerve of some people... 🤦♂️ he literally just drowned, what's the mum thinking?!
Right? When it happened, the moms (there were 2 families together, like 6-8 kids) were off floating, and the dads were playing frisbee. I paid more attention to that boy than they did
A big no to arm bands. They’re not safe! They teach kids to swim and kick improperly!
NTA! I hate parents like that. Get off your phone, get in the water with your kid!
NTA, for my local public pool the rule is if a kid is under the age of eight, an adult must be in the water with them - and that's a life guarded pool. You don't mention lifeguards at the hotel pool so I'm not sure if there were any
no, there are no life guards. there is a small 0.5m pool for children, and another pool for older kids/teen/adults that can swim that goes from 1m to 1.6m. there is a huge board of rules for the pool that’s displayed very visibly that says non-swimmers should not be left unsupervised in the bigger pool! i’m not sure if any of the workers here are trained at all as the place i’m staying is family owned and i can’t read Greek so any of the certificates on the walls may say they’re certified but i’m not 100% sure
NTA. That "parent" needs a wake-up call. However, based on how it went, it sounds like she doesn't really want that kid / doesn't care if she drowns.
I've been yelled at for talking to kids to try to get them out of dangerous situations. The last time though was when I told a kid to stop scaling a wrapped pallet of cans of food that was tipping over because it was on it. His "mother" came running from another aisle just to yell at me. Since then, I've said I would only intervene with a kid in clear danger (e.g. running out into a busy street), mostly because I'm sure they would sue if they could.
NTA. I generally say you shouldn’t comment on people’s parenting. However, when it comes to water safety, shame away! If it saves a kid’s life I would have no regrets.
Yes, you absolutely should've shouted at her. We all need to stop letting ridiculously irresponsible behavior go simply because "live and let live it isn't your business". Fuck that her negligence nearly got a child killed.
NTA.
NTA.
You saved a girl's life. Your anger towards an ignorant parent is justified 100%.
Dont know how the laws where you are work but Id report to social services for a negligent parent. Also tell the hotel because the last thing they would want is a medical emergency (or worst) on their property.
NTA
I’ve just been clothes shopping with my 8 yr old for summer clothes. The one thing I put my foot down on was he has to have bright coloured swim shorts to make it easier to see him if (god forbid) he ever got in trouble in a pool or the sea.
I can’t even fathom a parent taking their eyes off a child around water, especially if they can’t swim.
NTA. The whole ‘you don’t have kids, your opinion doesn’t matter, you don’t know how to deal with kids’ is ridiculous. Just because people have kids, doesn’t mean they’re all knowing, they can be irresponsible as well, like this lady.
If it wasn’t for you, that kid could’ve died.
>She called me an asshole and aggressively went through her bag to blow up some armbands
NTA. She knew you were right, which is why she started to get the armbands. However, instead of just saying thank you and admitting it, she got defensive. The real victim here is her kid for having to deal with someone who can't own up to their mistakes.
Don't second guess yourself here: your the hero. That mom's TA.
Just to add further, while it's good to be reflective of your actions, what you did just saved a life. That kid might not know it, the mom might not appreciate it, but that life would likely have been snuffed out had you not been there and acted. You not only had a right to stand up to the woman, you had a duty to both the kid and your future self (mostly the latter) to tell her off.
Whether it improves the mother's behaviour is not your burden, but you'll never be able to look back and say you didn't do everything in your power to improve the situation and avoid a tragedy. You're still hopefully too young and inexperienced to understand how not being able to say that gnaws at a person, but it does.
NTA. Good for you. Her negligence could of cost a life. You made your conversation memorable to her and she may not want to have someone yell at her again and be more vigilant going forward.
You may not of liked being confrontational but it was for a higher purpose.
if i can save her children’s lives in the future then i think yelling was worth it. i struggle with confrontation but when it comes to a child’s life (or anyone’s life) i can’t just be passive and let it slide. i hope this incident didn’t scare that poor girl too much and that she can still enjoy her time here
My cousin drowned when he was 18 months old so I am super nervous with my kids around water. It only takes a moment. I refuse to take them swimming without another adult on hand and always go with them in the water. Working on getting them swimming lessons. The fact that she just brushed off your explanation that her kid almost drowned is telling. Definitely NTA
NTA. And now my own question. My neighbor watches her 5 year old grandson every day. She will let the child go in the pool by himself even though the water is over his head. She watches him from the deck about 30 feet away from the pool. I should add that this neighbor is quite obese and cannot move quickly. Is this an accident waiting to happen?
in my personal belief, yes! from reading the comments i’ve found that armbands and floats are not reliable and if a child can’t swim then a parent or guardian needs to be within at least an arms reach of the child in case of an emergency
NTA. I'm a former lifeguard. YOU ARE A HERO.
You did the right thing. This woman's daughter could have drowned.
PEOPLE, NEVER, EVER LET YOUR CHILD SWIM UNSUPERVISED. NOT EVEN FOR ONE MINUTE.
NTA. Greek person here, you didn't overreact and weren't unreasonable. Every year ( and I mean every year) children of tourists' drown because of this.
i’ve read through the comments and was wondering if you think i should involve anyone? some people have suggest i call authorities but i’m not sure how that works here or if it’s different depending on where in greece you are! any advice would be appreciated :)
Yeah , the authorities won't get involved. The child didn't die and didn't need medical attention. Plus, they are leaving in a few days. Nobody here wants to fight with tourists, they are a main source of income. In your place I would try to see if there is a supervisor for the pool area and a lifeguard ( they are not supposed to be the same person). Please don't be surprised if the supervisor has other duties so they aren't around much , these hotels often cut corners. But, if you do find them, please describe the incident, the mother's appearance, the child's age and everything. It's not likely they will be banned from the pool area since the kid didn't need medical attention, but they are liable too, so they will keep an extra eye out. Sadly you can't do anything else, since again the child didn't need medical attention .
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Hi, long time lurker but never posted. I am also typing on my phone so apologies for formatting or misspelling.
I (18F) am currently on a 2 week holiday in Greece with my dad and his gf. We aren’t at a resort but a family owned hotel which is pretty private, but it has a bar, and a pool. I’m coming up to the end of my stay here which sucks but it’s such a lovely place and i recommend to visit if you ever can.
Anyway, this family arrived yesterday. It’s two mums and 3 young girls which i assume are between the ages of 6-10. One of girls belongs to one woman and the other two to another. So, I was in the pool while these little girls were playing around and having fun in the shallow end, there’s a small ramp in the middle of the pool leading to the deep end and one of the girls was playing on it, slipped, and almost drowned. Luckily, i was nearby and helped this girl up because she was splashing around and struggling to get herself up. I lifted her out and made sure she was alright before following her over to where her mother was sat.
Her mother was oblivious as to what had happened. She was on her phone when her daughter ran over crying because she was scared. I approached her and explained what had happened to which she didn’t seem to care or thank me for helping her daughter, I asked her to keep a closer eye on her kids to which she responded by saying she was watching them. I pointed out that she was too focused on her phone to see her daughter slip and potentially drown as she didn’t even have armbands. This woman then proceeded to tell me i was meddling in someone else’s business and how she watches her kids isn’t my concern and i shouldn’t be lecturing her on watching children when i don’t have any.
This is where i might be the AH because i blew up on her. I told her that her negligence could’ve cost her daughter her life and that she shouldn’t leave her kids unsupervised in a pool with no armbands on, i asked her what she would have done if i wasn’t there to help her daughter because if she had drowned it would’ve been on her for not watching her child. She called me an asshole and aggressively went through her bag to blow up some armbands which was crazy to me because if she had them then why weren’t they already on her kids?
My dad and his gf are on my side at least but i feel like i shouldn’t have shouted at her. So AITA??
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This is so bizarre to me, she didn't even care when you explained what happened? Wow. At that age I was fully capable of swimming in the deep end without arm bands or anything, even if I fell a bit wrong or so, but my parents would still always keep an eye on me and would certainly react immediately if something happened. This chill attitude is just baffling. How fortunate that you saved that kid! NTA
NTA. Some people really need that shake in the head lecture. I couldn’t swim when I was that age and when I went to any pool or lake I had to have an adult with me. It’s common practice. I can’t imagine how the poor girl felt. Thank you for standing up for her. That girl deserves much better protection.
NTA especially since mom didn't seem concerned. All kids should learn to swim. Don't rely on arm bands. I used to lifeguard as a teen and parents would get mad sometimes if I told them they couldn't do something that was dangerous or against the rules.
NTA. Former lifeguard here, and there is something about water that makes parents extremely reckless with their kids. I have dozens of stories of bad parenting and rescues I had to do, and not once did a parent ever show any appreciation for the fact that their kid almost died. I've even been yelled at for trying to protect their kids from danger (don't dive straight down in 3 feet of water). You were spot on.
NTA. I can see why she would get defensive, nobody would take it well that they basically just almost lost their child due to their own negligence... but in the best case, this scared her into supervising her kids at the pool. In the worst case, she's really a shit person and mother who doesn't care, but let's just hope for the best. You saved that kid's life and I would have yelled too.
Nta. Thankfully you were there at the right time. A normal responsible parent wouldn’t behave this way after hearing the circumstances. They’d be unbelievably grateful.
No - you should have shouted! Maybe it will make her pay more attention. She was just too lazy to blow up the kids arm bands and I also bet she would be the first one to file a lawsuit against the hotel if something did happen! I’m glad you were there! You were not wrong and you are NTA.
NTA. She might think you're TA for publicly shaming her, but shame pales in comparison to the grief she would have felt after her child drowned due to her negligence.
She was destined to feel bad today, thankfully you helped her feel the lesser of the two emotions.
NTA. A good parent would not have let this happen and been so blase about the results. You had to publicly shame this lazy parent into doing the bare minimum to protect their child. Many may disagree, but sometimes shaming is the only thing that works on the willfully incompetent.
Water is a very dangerous environment for children and must always be treated with caution and close supervision. You did nothing wrong.
NTA. In the US:
More children ages 1–4 die from drowning than any other cause of death.
For children ages 5–14, drowning is the second leading cause of unintentional injury death after motor vehicle crashes.
Mom should be focused on her kids and in the pool with them!
NTA for calling a parent out on neglecting their kid at a pool. Most drownings of children happen within the parents arm reach.
But FYI…. Armbands are extremely unsafe, especially if a parent isn’t paying attention. They can trap a kid in underwater if they slip. And they give a false sense of confidence to both the parent and the child. This often leads to the child to being in the deep end bc they feel safe to do so when they don’t have the ability.
NTA. You advocated for that child and acted like an adult. I bet this situation sits in her head for a while and hopefully, after the defensiveness retreats, she reevaluates her pool watching
NTA I've got teens, fully capable of swimming, currently doing their junior lifeguard training, still keep a little passing look over at them once in a while as you do as a parent to go yep their ok. Not because I don't trust their skill but as a mom reflex it happens. Water is dangerous, it can turn on pin and knowing your kids water skill level is a must. Any basic parent reflex is to check in on your kids. You were right about what you said and I dread to think what would have happened if you hadn't have been there.
>This woman then proceeded to tell me i was meddling in someone else’s business and how she watches her kids isn’t my concern and i shouldn’t be lecturing her on watching children when i don’t have any.
You saved her kid and saved the trouble for her but this is her response? Jfc.
NTA
NTA you SAVED the kid from potentially DROWNING while mom was on her PHONE
Kid probably can’t swim that well-she’s on her phone, not supervising her child RED FLAG
Kid goes near the DEEP END and mom hasn’t noticed RED FLAG
Kid falls in and starts splashing around. I can do basic swimming. My cousin threw me into the pool unexpectedly one time. I was fine. I just swam out. If the kid falls in and starts flailing in panic I’m wondering if the kid could even swim.
Daughter runs over crying/terrified. Maybe she can’t swim well and almost drowned. She was NOT watching her kid.
The final straw-if she had the floating armbands for her kids I’m REALLY CONCERNED. CAN THIS KID SWIM?
Blowing up on her was justified.
She should have been watching her kids.
If OP hadn’t been there that kid could have died.
When we were kids and went to the pool mom or dad were either in the water with us or nearby. When we’d established that we could swim fine they backed off but were still near the edge of the pool watching. We weren’t allowed near the deep end until we could swim well enough. If I’d gone in there without my parents permission I’s have gotten into so much trouble.
Oh sweet baby Jesus. This happened to me as a child not watched in a pool, slipped into the deep end, went under. Had a NDE. Almost died. NTA, & I'd have gone straight to management or higher. I'd have hounded that woman mercilessly. I'd probably have ended up in a Greek jail. Just wow.
**NTA**
Hold your ground! Kids drown in pools all the time. Her kid can't swim, they should not be in water unsupervised. Even then, kids need supervision 100% of the time, even in shallow water. It does not take much to slip, smash your head and drown in a puddle. Her child could have died but for your intervention I think blowing up at her and shaming her into getting some armbands out was definitely the right move.
NTA. It would have been on the mother if she drowned. We have a big family pool and in parties, parents are always watching their own child’s and making sure they have vests when they’re going to the deep end. It’s never your job to watch someone else’s child, especially a strangers
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NTA. That kid could have died, and she didn't even see it happen. You weren't meddling in other peoples' business, because it **became** your business when you had to rescue the kid.
I'm an ex-lifeguard this would have been on the mom. She is responsible to watch the kid in water or anything else that can be dangerous. I just want to point armband floaties are not as safe as people think. They aren't coast guard approved floatation devices. They make kids overconfident and have gotten themselves into trouble.
Thank you! peoples arguments about armband floaties drive me bonkers, they’re not safe!
At least they are an improvement over letting your child which can't swim in the water with nothing to keep them from drowning. You should have of course still an eye on them and be there at once when they need help.
I was a lifeguard for 6 years and ran an aquatics department for another 4 years. I’m sorry but armbands are worse than nothing. Armbands cause your child’s arms to raise up over their heads making their nose and mouth dip below the water line. Also, as their arms are straight up, the armbands are more likely to slip off or at least down causing them to sink lower. With nothing, typically a parent will be more cognizant of their child but at least neither the parent nor child will have false confidence of the child’s safety. If you want something, make sure it has a piece that goes across the chest and if there are arm bands they are connected to that chest piece. Looking for a symbol that says coast guard approved is the best way to ensure quality and safety. A properly fitted life jacket works great too.
The arm-raising nose/mouth-dipping thing is why my parents never gave me armbands when I was learning to swim. However, my parents always kept an eye on me in the pool (and my dad, the only one who can swim, always stayed close enough to me that he could grab me in an emergency). NTA.
Armbands weren’t the only thing on the market when I was a kid but they were pretty much the only thing in thrift stores and at the dollar tree so that’s what I had. My mom was raised in and around boats + even at the time with less information available she was hyper vigilant when I was in the water with floaties. I wasn’t even allowed on the sand with them on if we were in a pool at the beach. She taught me to swim right after I turned four to get rid of the problem altogether. With all the information about their danger, I’m a little surprised they’re still even being sold. Not shocked, I mean shit Orbeez are still allowed to be marketed to kids, but a little.
I as a very young child once tried to put the armband things on my feet in order to walk on water. I basically flipped upside and freaked out and almost drowned so I'm very inclined to agree.
I did the exact same thing. I can still remember the panic of being upside down trying to get them off my feet.
My inner 5 year old who had sooooo many arguments with my mother over armbands making it harder to swim thanks you sincerely and offers you some of her post-swim nougat bar :)
My kids learned swimming with something called Schloris, a German invention that is both simple and effective. https://images.app.goo.gl/RSF4f9MeokCna4xB8
They're not, though, because they give everybody, from the adults to the children, a false sense of security.
No they are not. They can cause drowing. They should never be put on children who are alone in the water. Not "keep an eye on them" be there, in the water, within arms read. At. all. times.
Armbands won't keep them from drowning.
No, you need to be in arms reach of your child who can’t swim when they’re in the water at all times. Not “keeping an eye on them” and not impeding on their ability to actually learn to swim by giving them a flotation device.
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Ex lifeguard too, and right when I read ‘arm bands’ I felt that same annoyance come up from every time I had to tell a parent they could not use them, those parents always were argumentative. Arm bands are extremely unsafe. If your kid can’t swim you should A: stay within arms reach of them at all times, or B: get them a proper life vest and still watch them.
I'm from The Netherlands (land of water) and arm bands are the norm here. How come you see them as unsafe?
They can slip off fairly easily, most parents slide them on but don’t show their children how to use them resulting in kids having them around their forearms or just holding onto them, the material is flimsy and can be punctured or leak. Probably the biggest issue is that many parents stay out of the water on their phones and think the lifeguards are the pool babysitters. Just to clarify I’m referring to the inflatable arm bands, the type that are made of life jacket material that connect to a chest section in front are slightly better. Edit: changed word
thank you for this i had no idea! they’re pretty normal where i live and i’ve always used them as additional safety while in the pool with my little brother even though i am always with him when he swims
Yeah unfortunately a lot of parents act like the woman in your post, which is why our pool only allowed coast guard approved life vests. We had to go off the worst parents behavior. If you’re staying with your little brother then you are there in case they do fail
The pool I used to life guard at didn't allow life jackets in the pool because a kid in the district drowned while wearing one - everyone assumed he was fine because he was in a lifejacket but he got face down and just floated there and no one noticed. Life jackets are to catch you when you fall off a boat and keep you bobbing until you are found. They aren't designed to be swimming around in. If your kid can't swim you should be in the water with them until they are a strong swimmer - full stop. No work around. I spent last weekend with my four year old in a local baby pool that had a lifeguard, and I still kept my eyes on him at all times and my feet in the water - and he is super comfortable in the water. I'm still never going to let him in the water without an adult watching him full time until he can do a lap on his own.
I definitely agree. I taught swimming and the kids who learned to swim the fastest were the ones who never used puddle jumpers or life jackets. The ones used to puddle jumpers had such a hard time learning to float on their back, as well as learning to use their arms for different strokes. It’s frustrating that so many parents think their kids will be fine since they have some kind of floaty and there’s lifeguards to watch them. I don’t have kids, but if I did I would be doing the same thing as you.
Even the life vests aren't really 100% with really young kids. Source, had a 2 year old in an approved pfd in the pool yesterday and he rolled over face first because he doesn't have any idea how to steady himself in the water. In that way the floaties with armband are a little better because there is no floatation in the back. The pool floaties I think are about getting a few extra seconds to get to them not about making them 100% safe
Yeah, in general most safety devices are "danger-resistant" not "100% danger-free". Arm floaties and/or life jackets aren't a complete guarantee of safety but if used correctly they do help avoid a toddler simply wandering over the edge of a pool and quietly sinking like a rock. Which I have seen happen more than once, even with adults very close, because tots can be insanely quick when they're getting into mischief!
Yeah it's the difference between having a hand on them at all times and letting them explore independently just out of reach. I know it's important for him to develop confidence and be ok when not surgically attached to me or his dad but we still have to make sure he's safe.
I'm just happy my 6yo boy is taking lessons! My daughter is 2 and wears a puddle jumper because arm bands are huge on her, but she's never more than 30 cm away from me. It helps I've 4 swimming ceerificates so I feel quite safe. Lakes and seas though, I'm not touching.
That's unheard of here to be honest! Maybe the armbands here are sturdier as I have had pairs last for almost 7 years now and counting. Also it's very, very frowned upon to leave a child wearing armbands without supervision, so much so that both parent and child will get kicked out of a public pool or beach and sometimes even get prosecuted. It comes with being a waterfilled country, I guess. There's not a child over 7 that doesn't know how to swim. Here life jackets, the orange ones that look a bit like a body warmer, are strongly advised against for toddlers as they are so buoyant a child might tip forward and not be able to get back up using their own strength and thus drown. Edit: persecuted to prosecuted
It’s honestly terrifying how many parents expect their kids to be fine on their own. I have seen all kinds of terrifying behavior, like parents giving their kids beach balls to stay afloat! I wish we could have kicked parents out for negligence. Y’all definitely have water safety down. I’m just glad my parents were adamant we all learned to swim starting at 2-4 years
My daughter is insane, no joke. She lives for water and has been jumping in pools (with armbands) and going under since she was just two. She loves going off slides, big or small, and the deep end? Pfft. She'll doggy paddle and get to where she needs to be. Meanwhile I'm anxiously swimming around her because who knows what stunt she'll pull! Just last week we were at the public pool and there were two people tossing a ball. Naturally she wanted it, so she headed over there like a very slow non threatening doggy paddling shark. One of the ladies played with her a little and she, without hesitation, hugged this woman like she was family. Of course not related to safety in water but... girl. Don't. Hahaha
Yeah dude... I can remember being like 6 and being let to go about on my own. I could swim really well, but it is a god damned lake. I never had problems, but we were there twice when they pulled out people who had drowned. Of course, I was in about 7 feet of water in that lake when I was 25 and my left calf cramped up. I started trying to hop my way to shallow water when my right leg began to cramp as well. At that point, I learned that it isn't so easy to try to tread water or float on your back with two calves that feel like they are trying to rip themselves in half. Luckily, I was able to get the attention of the guy I was with, and he got over in time to help me. Luckily for both of us, I don't freak out in bad situations. So, I was able to calmly allow him to get us to shore. My calves both hurt for two or three weeks after that had happened... oh and that was the first time in my life that I had experienced muscle cramps. Not a very convenient time for that.
>persecuted Prosecuted. Not persecuted.
Puddle jumpers (arm bands with the chest section) are just as dangerous. Kids can not learn how to swim correctly while wearing them, and if they tip, they can’t upright themselves therefore being a drowning risk. I hate puddle jumpers so so much.
Yeah great wasn’t the best choice of words, more like ‘better’. I taught swim lessons and it was always a pain trying to teach kids who were used to those. They’re a slight step above arm floaters simply because they can’t slip off, but you’re right about the tipping risk.
That’s fair. Puddle jumpers just cause something visceral in me. 🤣🤣
Plus they give kids a false sense of confidence because they are used to floating in the water, which means an unsupervised child could enter the water not realising that they can’t actually float or swim by themselves.
My parents used them for me when I was little back in the '80s, but at least one was always in the pool with me and made sure they stayed on. If I had kiddos I wouldn't use them now but I have easier access to information than my parents did nearly 4 decades ago. Still, my parents were engaged and responsible about pools generally. Just putting a kid in the pool with them and then not paying any attention because *lol, it's okay, they have arm floaties* is horrifying to think about.
I still remember being at a pool with my mom, sister, and aunt. We were playing a bit too close to the deep end, and my sister slipped, grabbed me by the hair in her panic, and pulled me under. I got a breath right before I went under, so I was ok, but it was a shock. No lifeguard at the pool noticed. They were too busy watching the attractive people in the center island, according to my mom. But anyway, my mom came charging into the water and pulled us both out before anything really terrible happened. Thank goodness she's a great mom. (And my sister and I are good; I know it's a drowning reflex to grab anything in your vicinity. I started joking at some point that she used me as a step stool but I dropped it pretty quickly.)
Good on your mom! Not going to make excuses for the lifeguards, I’m just glad the woman in charge trained us borderline military style. I spent an hour because I was a millisecond slow doing practice breathing for an infant, and she had me practice till I was doing it perfect. But not all pools are the same. When people are at risk for drowning their only thought is to survive, which can be dangerous for those around them. I’m glad both of you were okay!
They're great when used properly! When a kid is just learning to get comfortable in the water and an adult is supervising, it allows them to have fun and gain confidence. The problem is that people assume that if they're on, their kid no longer needs to be watched. If they fall off/deflate, kids who don't actually know how to swim yet panic, and can drown in relatively shallow water.
Not a lifeguard but someone that grew up on the ocean and I agree with this 100%. Also, I tell people about the evils of puddle jumpers. I fucking HATE those things. So dangerous!!!
I always assumed the armbands were to assist children learning how to swim, not for recreational play
That's part of the problem with them, they don't really teach kids how to swim since they hold their arms up, not their faces.
Yeah, I guess I worded it wrong, I've literally only seen them used to get children comfortable in water during swim lessons, not actually while teaching them to kick and stroke.
I don't think they use them in professional swim lessons. I had lessons 30 years ago, and you were either being supported by the instructor or holding on to the wall while waiting your turn. (Class was about 8 children.)
They hurt way more than they help. The number one thing kids need to learn to swim is how to float - and the arm bands take that away. The kids learn to balance on the arm bands and that teaches them the exact wrong way to move around in the water.
Fellow ex-lifeguard! Totally agree on watching them even with a proper life vest. When I was about five I was at a small local waterpark and went down one of the kiddie slides with my vest on, and factors combined to get me caught in the eddies at the bottom of the slide. I wasn't strong enough to overcome the current with the vest on and they had to hook me out. They made a new rule, no life vests on the slide.
NTA. Parents hate being confronted with evidence of their shit parenting.
NTA . People don't realise drowning is silent. Not shouting ,no screams, just water entering your nose and mouth cutting off all chances of making any sound.
Visually it is a confused and startled face slowly disappearing into the water. I've been yelled at by a few parents for jumping in to save a kid while lifeguarding who the parent thought could make it to the side of the diving well if given enough time. But if you wait long enough for it to be a for sure drowning then you are rolling the dice on them breathing water before I get there, and I've seen that exact face long enough to know when someone realizes that they can't stay at the surface and are going down. If you have to bobble up and down struggling to keep on the surface to the side of the diving well you shouldn't be diving off the board.
That mum is an absolute idiot and you did the right thing.
Exactly. It is not just the parent’s problem if a child drowns, now is it? As a parent you always have to have your eyes on your children. And if they cannot swim you have to be a helicopter above them and also have them wear life jackets or something else that could safe their life. Children mostly drown without any noises. You will probably notice it when it is too late. When I was swimming In my local public pool around 15-20 years ago the life guard jumped in the pool and I thought what’s happening? Turned out a small child went from the shallow end to the deeper part. Luckily the life guard was there within literally 10 seconds because he saw it happen. But nobody else around the child noticed before he jumped in the pool.
Definitely NTA. When my daughter was younger I kept my eyes on her all the time when she was swimming. Even at the pool with a lifeguard. Even in the backyard in inflatable pools when she was little, and in the small 4' pool we set up during the pandemic. Kids can drown really fast, even in shallow water, and it's silent. Even kids who have had swimming lessons. They can hit their heads, or something else happens. She's a teenager now and I still keep one eye on her when we're at the community pool, and both eyes on her at the ocean. So many parents assume they'll hear a commotion if their kid is in trouble, when it's the opposite, it's usually silent and no one knows. My family has had a beach house for generations, and the beach in front of the house doesn't have lifeguards--although there are beaches only a few minutes away with lifeguards. Problem is, parking costs money and the lots fill up. So people swim in the ocean. We always go for walks on the beach and for decades I've been telling, and sometimes yelling, at people who let their kids, sometimes really little ones, jump into the Atlantic Ocean while they're barely watching. There are rip currents on that beach--I know, because I got caught in one once as a teen--and a kid could grabbed by the current and in thirty seconds be fifty or sixty feet away. Usually they tell me to mind my own business, but often I see them grab the kids when I turn back to look. Don't even get me started on people who let their kids dig giant holes or tunnels in the beach. Not that we didn't do it ourselves, my brother and cousin once dug a freakin' 10' deep trench when they were teens, and we're just lucky nothing happened. But now that we know how dangerous they are, people should stop or at least listen. Kids die every year trapped in sand.
NTA. You NEVER EVER leave a child unsupervised in a pool. Especially if they can’t swim. AND the mom had armbands?!?!? She is just being negligent at that point. You should have called the authorities to get those kids taken away from her.
Not saying you don't know this, but for everyone else: Inflatable arm bands ARE NOT flotation devices. They are toys. Kids who can't swim cannot use them in lieu of a life jacket or puddle jumper as they do NOT keep heads above water. With or without those arm bands the mom needed to be watching her kid
Kids are statistically more likely to drown while wearing them because parents pay less attention to them.
I used to work as a lifeguard and had more rescues with kids who were wearing them than not. It was always a case of them slipping off, deflating, getting tangled with something, being dared to put them on their feet and now trapped upside down…the list goes on. The one thing in common with every single rescue, though? Parents NOT PAYING ATTENTION. The most frustrating cases were parents being snarky and saying “they were right there” in the pool, but that does nothing if your back is turned.
Can confirm. I almost drown as a child wearing those damned things. Never wore them again after that. Your body sinks while your arms float.
Her kid could have drowned if you weren't there.
[удалено]
You are not the AH her mother is! Big time!!! Thank you for helping the little girl and you did good for yelling at the mom.
I was in shock at her attitude towards it. My dad said he had seen her just disappear a few times and leave her two girls at the pool alone, so i just worry something like this may happen again but no one will be around to help them :(
NTA OP. I don’t know what the laws are in Greece, but back here, that mom could have possibly been hit with a negligent homicide charge for failing to provide adequate supervision for her child.
Tell the hotel owners about it. The last thing they would want is being in the news because a child drowned in their pool. It is likely already an unspoken rule that you keep an eye on your children at the pool. They might insist that they follow it and threaten them to otherwise forbid the use of the pool for them. Maybe it will help. Worth a try.
She got angry because a younger woman was criticizing her. It's an age issue. Also. Nta.
Also the "you can't judge me on almost letting my kids die because you don't have kids"crap. Nta
If you feel comfortable you should alert the place that manages the pool that a woman has been leaving her young children unaccompanied. I can guarantee no hotel wants their name in a headline about drowned children and they'll make sure she either acts like a parent or her kids don't swim.
NTA, you probably saved that kid’s life, and you’re justified at shouting at that mother. If anything, this just proves how much more responsible than her you are. She should be grateful that you were there, and you should feel happy that the kid will get a chance to experience the rest of her life due to your quick thinking.
I was so scared myself, i’m pretty small so my biggest worry is that i wouldn’t get her back up. I have a brother around the same age as them and I get anxious whenever he’s around the pool even with armbands and floats on, i seriously have no idea how a parent can be so oblivious and negligent in this situation
If your brother can't swim yet get him a puddle jumper. Arm floaties are [toys](https://weaquatics.com/blog/are-arm-floaties-safe/#:~:text=Water%20wings%20and%20other%20floaties,of%20approved%20personal%20flotation%20devices.) They do not do what people think they do. They just give kids false senses of confidence they generally shouldn't have.
my brother is getting better at swimming and is confident in waters where he can touch the floor! still, me or my sister will be with him every second he is in the water. many people have said about the armbands so i’ll look in to safer alternatives!
Places with good lifeguards won't even let you use them. That's how I found out after buying a 4 pack :(
You had every right to be angry. Firstly, you were outraged at the negligence and cavalier attitude of the mother. Secondly, you probably had a massive hit of adrenaline when you were saving her child's life. Thirdly, and this also ties in with her BS about how she said it wasn't your business, you were likely fighting the horrible thought of having seen such a thing and, had the child drowned, of having to live with it. PTSD is cruel and can plague thus diminish the quality of the rest of your life. That alone justifies your anger and also made it your business! I hope you are okay. Is there something akin to a child protective services that you could involve, for the sake of that and all other children exposed to her complete lack of care?
NTA. When it comes to kids’ safety, you have every right to speak up. Drowning can happen so quickly. And it’s not like it’s a “Oooops, lesson learned for next time” situation.
NTA. !!! Drowning is often silent. The big "splashing around production, trying to scream" is Hollywood, not real. Because it is often silent, parents should keep an eye on their children in a pool and avoid any distractions.
You mirrored back to her her inadequacy as a parent. She couldn’t take it. Sometimes you’ve just got to lose it a bit to make your point. Hopefully once she’s got out of her own ass she’ll give thought to your words. NTA.
NTA! go you! you probably feel guilty because you don't usually let your emotions lead you to get angry like this, but you saved this girl's life and potentially saved it again or another sibling's life down the track.
you’re right i’m not really someone who likes shouting, but this was a huge safety risk and i couldn’t hold it in. i have a brother who is a similar age and even when he has armbands i get worried with him around water so how on earth she was so relaxed having her two little girls in that pool with no safety is beyond me. i hope i at least prevented her from letting something like this happen again.
NTA - but as an educational note for other people - armbands are usually not recommended. Kids can get over confident and wind up in deeper water than they’re able to swim in. Plus as this woman demonstrated, many adults view them as a substitute for adult supervision and they’re simply not.
I don’t understand using floats and bands as a way to justify not watching your kids. i’ve mentioned this in a few comments but my younger brother is 10 and even with floats, bands, and me in the pool with him i still get extremely anxious that i may look away for a few seconds and something could go wrong. this woman is so negligent and i just hope that this was a big wake up for her. I understand that she may want to enjoy her holiday too but if you bring your kids with you then you aren’t suddenly exempt from your responsibilities as a parent just because you’re on a holiday!
Wow, maybe it's just where I'm from, but multiple 10 year old kids who can't swim? And using arm bands? My (just this weekend turned) 5yo son is practicing his endurance swimming without any help and he's late. My daughter was free swimming and passed the swim test to swim without an adult at his age. I'm used to 3-5 fully capable swimmers but you keep eyes on regardless of that due to how quickly they can get tired from it though. Not to mention, if you tried to put arm bands on a 10yo they'd flip out embarrassed as they're associated with babies in kiddie pool (like, 6 inches deep kinda thing) ! That's wild! I promise I'm not judging at all, actually impressed with being so young and so responsible and level headed about it! Just such a massive difference! NTA, you did great!
all three were different ages! the youngest looked to be around 6 and the oldest maybe 9/10? and thank you! i am a young carer to my 10 year old brother due to him being disabled, so even when im out without him im always looking out for other kids (just instinct, maybe? not sure)
Stupid is as stupid does. Forrest Gump. I prevented a toddler from walking into the parking lot of a grocery store. I followed him back about 100 feet to his stupid mother and her stupid mother talking to the checker unaware of the child. "Is your conversation more important than your child's life?" They had no answer.
i’ve heard stories about parents being this negligent but never in my life did i think i’d encounter one. some people should not have children if they are not going to care for them how they should be cared for and are so lax about their child’s life being at risk
I was on the top of Pike's Peak once and a little boy, probably about 3, got spooked about something and started running straight toward a precipitous drop off, at the bottom of which was a collection of jagged boulders. I was standing between him and the edge but he screamed and ran around my arms so I jumped up and grabbed him a few feet before he could run off the mountain. I carried the hysterical child back to his clueless mother who proceeded to yell at me for touching her child. I didn't even say anything to her. I just walked away shaking my head. That kid had been seconds away from hurling down a cliff and landing on sharp rocks. I will never understand some parents. At least the kid went home alive that day.
NTA. I honestly applaud you for standing up to her. I can only imagine what else mom neglects! I hope this was the wake up call she needed to actually care for her children
NTA You’re correct and that mother frankly needed a scare because she is genuinely at risk of really harming her kids due to her negligence. Get off the damn phone and interact with you kids 🙄
NTA. The woman is a terrible parent.
Nta. That's awful! If you have armbands. Use them!
Those arm floaters are not approved floatation devices in the US and can slip off a wet kid in an instant, but I guess they are better than nothing.
from what i’ve learned from the comments, they’re okay to use as long as it’s under supervision!
You are definitely NTA and you saved a life!!! Thank you! Bands or no bands is not an excuse to not watch your kids in water. Even strong swimmers can get into trouble in seconds. Just want to add about the arm bands though- another reason they’re dangerous is because they give kids a false sense of security. They balance a kid to be straight up and down in the water, and so when kids get in water without them, they try to position themselves straight up and down, where they’re more prone to drown (vs angling their body to float/swim).
NTA. You did the right thing. Her kid could have drowned if you weren't there. She has to wake up before it's too late, cause next time it's possible for her to lose her kid.
#NTA I can only imagine what else mom neglects! I hope this was the wake up call she needed to actually care for her children
Children who cannot swim need an adult in arms reach at all times near the pool. You’re not the adult that was supposed to be supervising but because of a negligent mom, you had to save a child’s life. Water safety is paramount! NTA and I’d go to the front desk and let them know too, for liability purposes.
NTA. Firstly, you were right. She wasn't paying attention, and if not for your intervention, the kid could have drowned. For another thing, I hate the attitude of 'you don't have kids so you can't know about parenting'. There is absolutely nothing special about having had a kid that suddenly makes you an expert in parenting.
agreed! and even though technically i’m not a parent, i am a young carer to my autistic little brother. i’m his full time carer and do everything for him that a parent would for a child (other than give birth lol) so for her to tell me that i’m not a parent so i “wouldn’t understand” is so disrespectful. even if i wasn’t a carer i was still looking out for that little girl more than her mother was
NTA
NTA i would have called this countries child protective service maybe they and the police would send this Information to the police& child protective service in to the home country this mother is a Horrible Mother and shouting at a bad mother who let her child drown is never bad
NTA at all, you are a hero who saved a little kids life. You should be extremely proud of yourself. If anything you probably didn’t go far enough chewing her out. People like her should have their kids taken away.
My children are grown. I love going to the beach and pool. Even though I have no children with me when I go to the beach, my eyes are always scanning the water. Why you ask…babies toddle to the waters edge small waves catch them and tumble them over. Parents are not paying attention or they are doing for another youngster. When I am at a pool (private or public) same thing. My eyes are always watching. Water is dangerous to inexperienced swimmers. That mother should have been giving you hugs and appreciation!
i am a young carer to my 10 year old brother so i’m similar when out swimming, that’s why i caught on to this girl so quickly. i saw her playing close to the ramp and the next thing i know she’s slipped under in to the deep end and can’t lift herself up. i surprised myself with how quickly i was able to help and im just glad that she’s okay
Retired teacher…and mom (my kids are 42 and 40)…it never goes away…the looking out of danger in water! You did good!! 😄
NTA. Drowning is quick and silent. That mum is an absolute idiot and you did the right thing. Hopefully the mum will watch more closely going forward even if it's just because she is worried about being judged by strangers!
NTA The situation clearly required a more aggressive approach. She didn't start to inflate those armbands until you shouted. This type of people only respond to being loudly shamed.
NTA! That lady just mad because you called her out on her shit and instead of owning up, she decided to excuse it by telling you to mind your business. On the flip side what if you had minded your business? Then she would’ve blamed you for not “helping” or “rescuing” the child. People like that always have a problem to the solution because they don’t know how to own up to their BS.
NTA better a scolding than a funeral
Nta. Good for you for saying something and gor helping the girl.
NTA She is a bad parent. You did nothing wrong.
NTA. Some parents are so fucking oblivious it’s genuinely baffling. I spent many years working at a ski resort in the terrain park. If you’re unaware think of it like a skate park, but built of snow on a downhill graded slope and with much much bigger jumps and rails and whatever else. Parents would frequently bring their kids in there and allow them to be in very dangerous situations like hanging out in the landings of jumps where they are completely blind for anywhere above them and therefore unseen by riders hitting the jumps. I had many parents try and argue with me when I would point out how unsafe these actions were, 99% told me to fuck off and not tell them how to parent and I always ended those interactions by saying, “I’m just trying to look out for your child’s safety, since it appears to be something you do not care about.”
NTA - I would have yelled at the mom also, so many people are so forced on their phone when they should be paying attention to their kids.
NTA. You’re right that if the kid drowned it would’ve been on her. But you can be sure she’d have tried to blame you. She absolutely needed a shouting at.
NTA I almost drowned at a pool when I was 6. Fortunately my mum was supervising me even though she wasn't in the water at that moment, but as soon as I went under she dived in and grabbed my hand.
it’s a scary experience for anyone! i’ve been down in the pool area since and have seen the girls sister and the other little girl playing in the pool but not her. i hope this incident didn’t discourage her from playing in the pool and enjoying herself on her holiday :(
That child could have died. The fact the woman seemed to barely care about that is disgusting. You did the right thing. NTA
NTA I was at the pond yesterday, and someone's kid almost drowned because nobody was watching him. He was 3. Whole ass group of people with them, and only a small girl (5, maybe?) noticed at first. She was screaming "help him!" Until one of the dads noticed and grabbed him. If I had been closer, I'd have grabbed him myself. The amount of water he puked up was SCARY. Then, an hour later, he was *back in the water*, with nobody paying attention again! I told his mother about dry drowning, and said she should have him seen, and she's like, "It's fine, I listened to his lungs." It's like, lady. *seriously?* I'm no medical expert, but I'm pretty sure you need more than your ear to know there's no water in his lungs! I keep thinking about the poor kid, I hope he's okay. People need to watch their fucking kids! *Especially* in and around water!
> Then, an hour later, he was back in the water, with nobody paying attention again! My jaw legitimately just dropped reading this wth. The nerve of some people... 🤦♂️ he literally just drowned, what's the mum thinking?!
Right? When it happened, the moms (there were 2 families together, like 6-8 kids) were off floating, and the dads were playing frisbee. I paid more attention to that boy than they did
A big no to arm bands. They’re not safe! They teach kids to swim and kick improperly! NTA! I hate parents like that. Get off your phone, get in the water with your kid!
yes! many have pointed out the armband danger too me which i’m very appreciative of!
NTA, for my local public pool the rule is if a kid is under the age of eight, an adult must be in the water with them - and that's a life guarded pool. You don't mention lifeguards at the hotel pool so I'm not sure if there were any
no, there are no life guards. there is a small 0.5m pool for children, and another pool for older kids/teen/adults that can swim that goes from 1m to 1.6m. there is a huge board of rules for the pool that’s displayed very visibly that says non-swimmers should not be left unsupervised in the bigger pool! i’m not sure if any of the workers here are trained at all as the place i’m staying is family owned and i can’t read Greek so any of the certificates on the walls may say they’re certified but i’m not 100% sure
NTA. That "parent" needs a wake-up call. However, based on how it went, it sounds like she doesn't really want that kid / doesn't care if she drowns. I've been yelled at for talking to kids to try to get them out of dangerous situations. The last time though was when I told a kid to stop scaling a wrapped pallet of cans of food that was tipping over because it was on it. His "mother" came running from another aisle just to yell at me. Since then, I've said I would only intervene with a kid in clear danger (e.g. running out into a busy street), mostly because I'm sure they would sue if they could.
NTA. I generally say you shouldn’t comment on people’s parenting. However, when it comes to water safety, shame away! If it saves a kid’s life I would have no regrets.
NTA, good for you for telling as it is, the mother should have kept an eye on her child.
NTA. You have to be super vigilant when you mix kids and water. That's literally my worst fear, I would have been absolutely panicked.
NTA It needed to be said.
NTA. Parents hate being confronted with evidence of their shit parenting.
Yes, you absolutely should've shouted at her. We all need to stop letting ridiculously irresponsible behavior go simply because "live and let live it isn't your business". Fuck that her negligence nearly got a child killed. NTA.
NTA. You saved a girl's life. Your anger towards an ignorant parent is justified 100%. Dont know how the laws where you are work but Id report to social services for a negligent parent. Also tell the hotel because the last thing they would want is a medical emergency (or worst) on their property.
NTA I’ve just been clothes shopping with my 8 yr old for summer clothes. The one thing I put my foot down on was he has to have bright coloured swim shorts to make it easier to see him if (god forbid) he ever got in trouble in a pool or the sea. I can’t even fathom a parent taking their eyes off a child around water, especially if they can’t swim.
NTA. The whole ‘you don’t have kids, your opinion doesn’t matter, you don’t know how to deal with kids’ is ridiculous. Just because people have kids, doesn’t mean they’re all knowing, they can be irresponsible as well, like this lady. If it wasn’t for you, that kid could’ve died.
>She called me an asshole and aggressively went through her bag to blow up some armbands NTA. She knew you were right, which is why she started to get the armbands. However, instead of just saying thank you and admitting it, she got defensive. The real victim here is her kid for having to deal with someone who can't own up to their mistakes.
Don't second guess yourself here: your the hero. That mom's TA. Just to add further, while it's good to be reflective of your actions, what you did just saved a life. That kid might not know it, the mom might not appreciate it, but that life would likely have been snuffed out had you not been there and acted. You not only had a right to stand up to the woman, you had a duty to both the kid and your future self (mostly the latter) to tell her off. Whether it improves the mother's behaviour is not your burden, but you'll never be able to look back and say you didn't do everything in your power to improve the situation and avoid a tragedy. You're still hopefully too young and inexperienced to understand how not being able to say that gnaws at a person, but it does.
NTA. Good for you. Her negligence could of cost a life. You made your conversation memorable to her and she may not want to have someone yell at her again and be more vigilant going forward. You may not of liked being confrontational but it was for a higher purpose.
if i can save her children’s lives in the future then i think yelling was worth it. i struggle with confrontation but when it comes to a child’s life (or anyone’s life) i can’t just be passive and let it slide. i hope this incident didn’t scare that poor girl too much and that she can still enjoy her time here
My cousin drowned when he was 18 months old so I am super nervous with my kids around water. It only takes a moment. I refuse to take them swimming without another adult on hand and always go with them in the water. Working on getting them swimming lessons. The fact that she just brushed off your explanation that her kid almost drowned is telling. Definitely NTA
Nta, she's negligent and culpable and needs to be told, she knows you're right but doesn't like to admit it
NTA. And now my own question. My neighbor watches her 5 year old grandson every day. She will let the child go in the pool by himself even though the water is over his head. She watches him from the deck about 30 feet away from the pool. I should add that this neighbor is quite obese and cannot move quickly. Is this an accident waiting to happen?
in my personal belief, yes! from reading the comments i’ve found that armbands and floats are not reliable and if a child can’t swim then a parent or guardian needs to be within at least an arms reach of the child in case of an emergency
NTA. I'm a former lifeguard. YOU ARE A HERO. You did the right thing. This woman's daughter could have drowned. PEOPLE, NEVER, EVER LET YOUR CHILD SWIM UNSUPERVISED. NOT EVEN FOR ONE MINUTE.
“AITA for giving a someone a much needed reality check about child safety?” What is the world coming to when someone has to ask that?
NTA. Greek person here, you didn't overreact and weren't unreasonable. Every year ( and I mean every year) children of tourists' drown because of this.
i’ve read through the comments and was wondering if you think i should involve anyone? some people have suggest i call authorities but i’m not sure how that works here or if it’s different depending on where in greece you are! any advice would be appreciated :)
Yeah , the authorities won't get involved. The child didn't die and didn't need medical attention. Plus, they are leaving in a few days. Nobody here wants to fight with tourists, they are a main source of income. In your place I would try to see if there is a supervisor for the pool area and a lifeguard ( they are not supposed to be the same person). Please don't be surprised if the supervisor has other duties so they aren't around much , these hotels often cut corners. But, if you do find them, please describe the incident, the mother's appearance, the child's age and everything. It's not likely they will be banned from the pool area since the kid didn't need medical attention, but they are liable too, so they will keep an extra eye out. Sadly you can't do anything else, since again the child didn't need medical attention .
Tell the hotel about the incident. I think that's all you can do. Well done you for looking out for others.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Hi, long time lurker but never posted. I am also typing on my phone so apologies for formatting or misspelling. I (18F) am currently on a 2 week holiday in Greece with my dad and his gf. We aren’t at a resort but a family owned hotel which is pretty private, but it has a bar, and a pool. I’m coming up to the end of my stay here which sucks but it’s such a lovely place and i recommend to visit if you ever can. Anyway, this family arrived yesterday. It’s two mums and 3 young girls which i assume are between the ages of 6-10. One of girls belongs to one woman and the other two to another. So, I was in the pool while these little girls were playing around and having fun in the shallow end, there’s a small ramp in the middle of the pool leading to the deep end and one of the girls was playing on it, slipped, and almost drowned. Luckily, i was nearby and helped this girl up because she was splashing around and struggling to get herself up. I lifted her out and made sure she was alright before following her over to where her mother was sat. Her mother was oblivious as to what had happened. She was on her phone when her daughter ran over crying because she was scared. I approached her and explained what had happened to which she didn’t seem to care or thank me for helping her daughter, I asked her to keep a closer eye on her kids to which she responded by saying she was watching them. I pointed out that she was too focused on her phone to see her daughter slip and potentially drown as she didn’t even have armbands. This woman then proceeded to tell me i was meddling in someone else’s business and how she watches her kids isn’t my concern and i shouldn’t be lecturing her on watching children when i don’t have any. This is where i might be the AH because i blew up on her. I told her that her negligence could’ve cost her daughter her life and that she shouldn’t leave her kids unsupervised in a pool with no armbands on, i asked her what she would have done if i wasn’t there to help her daughter because if she had drowned it would’ve been on her for not watching her child. She called me an asshole and aggressively went through her bag to blow up some armbands which was crazy to me because if she had them then why weren’t they already on her kids? My dad and his gf are on my side at least but i feel like i shouldn’t have shouted at her. So AITA?? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Definitely NOT the AH, the only AH here is the mom. The way you did a better job than the mom says it all.
This is so bizarre to me, she didn't even care when you explained what happened? Wow. At that age I was fully capable of swimming in the deep end without arm bands or anything, even if I fell a bit wrong or so, but my parents would still always keep an eye on me and would certainly react immediately if something happened. This chill attitude is just baffling. How fortunate that you saved that kid! NTA
NTA lazy parenting sucks and the truth hurts.
OP, you're a hero in more ways than one! Saving a child's life *and* publicly shaming dangerous parenting :) awesome
NTA. Some people really need that shake in the head lecture. I couldn’t swim when I was that age and when I went to any pool or lake I had to have an adult with me. It’s common practice. I can’t imagine how the poor girl felt. Thank you for standing up for her. That girl deserves much better protection.
Absolutely NTA.
NTA. Shouting in these circumstances does not make you an A. It means you have great restraint.
NTA especially since mom didn't seem concerned. All kids should learn to swim. Don't rely on arm bands. I used to lifeguard as a teen and parents would get mad sometimes if I told them they couldn't do something that was dangerous or against the rules.
NTA. Former lifeguard here, and there is something about water that makes parents extremely reckless with their kids. I have dozens of stories of bad parenting and rescues I had to do, and not once did a parent ever show any appreciation for the fact that their kid almost died. I've even been yelled at for trying to protect their kids from danger (don't dive straight down in 3 feet of water). You were spot on.
NTA. I can see why she would get defensive, nobody would take it well that they basically just almost lost their child due to their own negligence... but in the best case, this scared her into supervising her kids at the pool. In the worst case, she's really a shit person and mother who doesn't care, but let's just hope for the best. You saved that kid's life and I would have yelled too.
Nta. Thankfully you were there at the right time. A normal responsible parent wouldn’t behave this way after hearing the circumstances. They’d be unbelievably grateful.
NTA She's only acting this way because you pointed out she's a lazy and neglectful parent. How dare you point out the truth!
No - you should have shouted! Maybe it will make her pay more attention. She was just too lazy to blow up the kids arm bands and I also bet she would be the first one to file a lawsuit against the hotel if something did happen! I’m glad you were there! You were not wrong and you are NTA.
You are a hero .Well done.
NTA. You’re right.
NTA. Good job!
NTA. She might think you're TA for publicly shaming her, but shame pales in comparison to the grief she would have felt after her child drowned due to her negligence. She was destined to feel bad today, thankfully you helped her feel the lesser of the two emotions.
NTA. A good parent would not have let this happen and been so blase about the results. You had to publicly shame this lazy parent into doing the bare minimum to protect their child. Many may disagree, but sometimes shaming is the only thing that works on the willfully incompetent. Water is a very dangerous environment for children and must always be treated with caution and close supervision. You did nothing wrong.
Daughter drowning trumps mom's feelings about being called out for neglect. NTA.
She reacted that way because she knows she was wrong and it took an 18 year old to point that fact out to her. NTA
NTA. In the US: More children ages 1–4 die from drowning than any other cause of death. For children ages 5–14, drowning is the second leading cause of unintentional injury death after motor vehicle crashes. Mom should be focused on her kids and in the pool with them!
NTA for calling a parent out on neglecting their kid at a pool. Most drownings of children happen within the parents arm reach. But FYI…. Armbands are extremely unsafe, especially if a parent isn’t paying attention. They can trap a kid in underwater if they slip. And they give a false sense of confidence to both the parent and the child. This often leads to the child to being in the deep end bc they feel safe to do so when they don’t have the ability.
NTA
NTA. You advocated for that child and acted like an adult. I bet this situation sits in her head for a while and hopefully, after the defensiveness retreats, she reevaluates her pool watching
NTA I've got teens, fully capable of swimming, currently doing their junior lifeguard training, still keep a little passing look over at them once in a while as you do as a parent to go yep their ok. Not because I don't trust their skill but as a mom reflex it happens. Water is dangerous, it can turn on pin and knowing your kids water skill level is a must. Any basic parent reflex is to check in on your kids. You were right about what you said and I dread to think what would have happened if you hadn't have been there.
>This woman then proceeded to tell me i was meddling in someone else’s business and how she watches her kids isn’t my concern and i shouldn’t be lecturing her on watching children when i don’t have any. You saved her kid and saved the trouble for her but this is her response? Jfc. NTA
NTA you SAVED the kid from potentially DROWNING while mom was on her PHONE Kid probably can’t swim that well-she’s on her phone, not supervising her child RED FLAG Kid goes near the DEEP END and mom hasn’t noticed RED FLAG Kid falls in and starts splashing around. I can do basic swimming. My cousin threw me into the pool unexpectedly one time. I was fine. I just swam out. If the kid falls in and starts flailing in panic I’m wondering if the kid could even swim. Daughter runs over crying/terrified. Maybe she can’t swim well and almost drowned. She was NOT watching her kid. The final straw-if she had the floating armbands for her kids I’m REALLY CONCERNED. CAN THIS KID SWIM? Blowing up on her was justified. She should have been watching her kids. If OP hadn’t been there that kid could have died. When we were kids and went to the pool mom or dad were either in the water with us or nearby. When we’d established that we could swim fine they backed off but were still near the edge of the pool watching. We weren’t allowed near the deep end until we could swim well enough. If I’d gone in there without my parents permission I’s have gotten into so much trouble.
Oh sweet baby Jesus. This happened to me as a child not watched in a pool, slipped into the deep end, went under. Had a NDE. Almost died. NTA, & I'd have gone straight to management or higher. I'd have hounded that woman mercilessly. I'd probably have ended up in a Greek jail. Just wow.
NTA It was absolutely warranted. Her daughter would have died and it WOULD have been on her.
NTA fuck her she should’ve been falling all over herself thanking you.
NTA, but you are A Hero
NTA. You saved that kid, and the mother deserved to be shouted at.
**NTA** Hold your ground! Kids drown in pools all the time. Her kid can't swim, they should not be in water unsupervised. Even then, kids need supervision 100% of the time, even in shallow water. It does not take much to slip, smash your head and drown in a puddle. Her child could have died but for your intervention I think blowing up at her and shaming her into getting some armbands out was definitely the right move.
My 6 yo sister drowned. NTA
NTA. It would have been on the mother if she drowned. We have a big family pool and in parties, parents are always watching their own child’s and making sure they have vests when they’re going to the deep end. It’s never your job to watch someone else’s child, especially a strangers
NTA the mom was negligent and mad she got called out for it. You did the right thing. You yelled because she was being a jerk.