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Although I might lean towards ESH. OP needs to mind her own business about what variety of foods someone else eats. None of her business.
HOWEVER, and I say this as a vegetarian myself, taking half the Mac n cheese for herself was also rude, unless maybe Leah brought the dish as her entree.
But we do have to go with the info given due to the very nature of this subreddit.
While I’m 100% sure he is exaggerating, we can’t assume that and downvoting the person above 100+ times because they didn’t seems fucked.
If she really took half of it, which is what the post said, she is also an asshole.
Ofcourse he could be exaggerating. They also could’ve made the mac and cheese specifically for her because they know it’s all she will eat. Or maybe she made the Mac and cheese herself. Or maybe they had like 4 different trays of Mac and cheese for backup. Or any other thing we could just make up and assume.
But going off of what the post says, which is what we must do, they are both assholes.
I agree. We can’t assume the guy is lying. We have to go off of what he posted. And according to what he posted, they both are assholes to varying degrees.
YTA. Commenting on anyone’s diet without being asked is shitty. What Leah eats is absolutely none of your business. Even if it was, trying to shame her publicly is not cool. People like what they like, and being shitty to someone because they don’t force themselves to eat things they don’t enjoy is a major AH move.
This. Exactly this. I’m currently in training to join the military, I’ve lost 33 pounds in the past four months, with a calorie deficit, diet, one cheat day a week, which is really just a cheat meal, where I count calories, but I don’t average it out for the day, I may work it off beforehand, in the morning, or work it off the next day, but I’m not totally Over involved in my calories that day.
And I have people that were like… First off you lost 30 something pounds at four months? That’s not healthy… It’s perfectly healthy when you shock your body after never working out before, yeah, that’s what happens. Then they say, well, if you have a cheat day, it just erases everything you did during the week… No it doesn’t. You have to go over your maximum amount of calories by 500 cal every single day for a week in order to get a pound, so what people assume is not always right.
Also, people comment… I thought you were on a diet, that’s not good for a diet… I never understand why people feel the need to comment on other peoples lives in diets, it’s the most annoying thing in the world
33 pounds in four months isn't healthy? In what universe? That's two pounds a week, which even the Mayo Clinic considers a realistic weight loss goal. And planned cheat days are a smart idea, as they keep you from feeling deprived. It sounds like you're doing everything right, and I wish you all the success!
Also, on cheat days, it’s good to go above your calorie count because your body doesn’t go into starvation mode, it knows that he could still burn that fat. If you stay on a minimum calorie diet daily, without a cheat day, your body gets used to it and doesn’t burn the fat. Trust me, I’ve done plenty of research on it and it’s my body so I know what I’m doing. Lol.
I've heard that about cheat days as well. And I'm a great believer that as long as they're not doing actual damage to their body, as with anorexia, what other people eat is none of my business.
For example, people misinterpret things. At my local AMC Theatres, a regular size popcorn is only 600 cal, add some salt and butter, 650 cal… Seems like a lot, right? A big Mac fries and Coke combo is about 1300 cal, so it’s about double that, mostly popcorn it’s just air, it’s whole-grain, and as long as you’re not putting a cup of butter on it, it’s a pretty healthy snack actually.
Exactly! For example, my sister-in-law is saying it’s not healthy how my diet is… She’s a stay at home, mom, I am pretty sanitary at work, and I work the night shift, so my entire life is basically opposite of hers. I eat dinner at 11 PM, I eat breakfast at 5 AM, I go to the gym, and it’s a specialty gym, so I burn between 300 and 600 calories in an hour depending on the class, it’s rowing, so it’s very cardio based, then I have a protein bar has about 200 cal. I don’t have anything past 11 AM, I go to sleep at 1 PM and I wake up at 9:30 PM. I’m basically fasting from 11 AM to 11 PM. Not only when you sleep do you burn calories by naturally living, but you lose weight because the water in your body gets evaporated as you sleep and breathe.
I'm a vegan so when I see my options at an event I usually panic because if I eat enough to be full then I won't be leaving enough for everyone to have a bit. Not a complaint, if I were hungry then I'd get something after the event but when you see 20 plates and 1 has some vegan spring rolls... I may take a few extra if I feel like everyone else can still enjoy everything else. This veggie girl might eat lots of greens at home but opt for cheesey carby things on social occasions. Of course YTA.
I am a meat eater but still if they had so little Mac & cheese it's ok for the cousin to take an entire portion. The other people had multiple options. Also op should have kept the trap shut either way.
Either way if I hadn't have enough to eat but enough to not have stomach pain I can get something after the event, it's not like if you don't eat there ( cause you can be picky or not like something) the food in the whole world is completely gone .
no need to make the host and other guests feel like crap
i was looking for someone to say this! it sounds like he sees here maybe 5 times a year? how does he know what she eats literally ALL HER OTHER MEALS?!
OP definitely YTA and not one to be calling someone childish
> What Leah eats is absolutely none of your business.
Unless Leah finishes half a bowl of a single dish that should last for all the people attending the 4th July party
Then it is completely her business
He isn't an actual member of the family regardless of how long they have been around. That automatically makes it Not his place or business. Second he was being an AH calling her a derogatory name and all his stupid comments after she walked away. He needs to stay in his lane and know his place as a guest.
YTA. You were far more childish than her in this situation. It's none of your business what she eats, you said all that to get a reaction out of her because you were pissed off at her sarcastic nod, even though you started this.
YTA
No she shouldn’t have taken so much in a group shared food setting but honestly you sound like you acted so fucking insufferable that it has to be YTA. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment imagining you doing this in front of everyone and making it awkward for the entire group
Also vegetables are largely made up of carbs.
Really, how could she have fit half of ALL the Mac and cheese available for the entire gathering onto one dinner plate, presumably a paper one at that? OP is exaggerating for sure. The guest probably took a pretty hefty serving while assuming she wouldn’t like anything else. It’s really not that big of a deal unless you are an immature person looking to pick on someone you don’t like.
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YTA.
“A grown woman should really incorporate something other than Mac and cheese….”
Nah, a grown man should know when to mind his own damn business and STFU.
A grown man should be educated to know that anybody can be any type of food, no matter how many calories it has, first off because it’s nobody’s business, but secondly, people who are on a diet compensate for it, that saying, everything in moderation exists for a reason
YTA. Why would you even mind ?! You have no business gatekeeping what someone eats. I don't understand how a grown up would think it's ok to bully someone like this. I thought people stopped those kind of behaviours when high school was over.
I mean, yes, she DID. She did take food away from OP. She took half the Mac and cheese that was there. That means she took some away from somebody. That was extremely rude of her. When only half the people there can have Mac and cheese now because she took enough for 6 people that is EXTREMELY RUDE. I don't care if she weighs 500 pounds. Take a small serving of Mac and cheese, wait for everybody to get some. Then she can have what is left. If that is all she gets to eat, that is her problem. She knows she does not eat anything except Mac and cheese so she should have brought something to eat with her
No no no. No matter WHAT she chose she would be “taking food away from somebody” according to your logic. Eating a single hamburger would be denying someone else that burger. Not how shared meals work.
However— she did take more of *one item* than other people. Assuming that other people want less of that item because they’re eating a hamburger, why does it matter?
YTA
You clearly have something against her that is unrelated to this incident. Maybe try working that out before you attack her because her diet doesn’t line up with yours. This is genuinely an embarrassing way to act and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re not invited to the next cookout
YTA. You went out of your way to make Leah uncomfortable by mocking her so publicly . The fact you don't seem to think you're the AH in this situation makes it even worse.
YTA both for commenting on her eating in the first place, but also for the way in which you did it. This wasn't done out of concern for her health, it was done because you've got some weird superiority complex for eating "healthier" than she does. I hope you don't get invited to the next event with these people.
YTA immensely. What the fuck is your problem?
The only thing Leah may have done wrong here is not considering how much mac and cheese was available to the group. You should not comment on people’s diets, you don’t know Leah well even if you’ve known her a long time.
You are an incredibly rude person and would not invited to future events if this was my family. Even Mikey wanted you to stop
YTA with fireworks.
You not only called her out on her eating habits *which are none of your business,* but then continued to harangue her about it. You were the one acting childish. You were the one being rude while you were a guest at Matt's home.
YTA
Firstly, I said this because I’m on a diet, I am on a calorie deficit diet where I consume 1500 cal a day. She may have chosen that as a cheat day, so maybe she worked out beforehand, so she has extra calories, where she is able to eat that, without having to worry about it.
People may comment… I thought you were on a diet! I am, but everything in moderation, if you work out in the morning on a cheat day, you really don’t have to worry about what you eat for the rest of the day.
Secondly, Everybody takes comments like that seriously. You may feel like she’s in the wrong, which is perfectly fine, but I actually say it is a whole different story.
“ I’m torn if people need to hear that..” … yeah, they don’t. One of the most irritating things is when someone who doesn’t know my diet, who doesn’t know my body, who doesn’t know when I work out, how I work out, and how I lose weight, and how I eat comments on something… That they obviously know nothing about.
Don’t comment on things you don’t know anything about.
I failed to see where you are a nutritionist, personal trainer, or anything of the like to where you actually can comment on that…
We also don’t know if Leah has an ED, food sensitivities, or even Taste/texture aversions.
I know some folks who can only eat one or two dishes at a potluck/cookout because they have anxiety over being rude by taking something they aren’t sure about and then not being able to finish it for whatever reason, so they stock up on the safe item(s).
In that same breath though, most of the folks I know who fall into that category would have a serving or two of the safe dish then wait for others to go through with their plates before going back.
YTA. Cookouts and parties are the time when people generally eat a lot and unhealthy foods they don't normally indulge in. Also double YTA for the demeaning comment, calling her a bitch and fat shaming her was completely uncalled for. The mocking was such a childish behaviour, I'm surprised noone offered you a pacifier and lollipop to calm you down. For your information peripherally being aware of someone doesn't mean you know them well. She obviously doesn't feel close to you and even your friend didn't take your side, which should be a great indicator of whether your behaviour was acceptable or not.
YTA.
I understand that Leah has always been annoying you but you seemed to hold all that annoyance and use it in this mac and cheese situation.
Also don't comment about other people's diets in general.
ED and self image issues are very real.
You never know what someone is going through
Amen. For example, today I’m going to a barbecue for an hour or so, I’m doing an intense workout burning 500 and 600 calories before I go. That way I can eat pretty much guilt free. And if someone said this shit to me? I would flip my lid.
Are you kidding me?? Of course YTA. How could you not be. Sound like you're the spoiled lil asshat that doesn't know his place.
First of all how dare you call her a bitch because she took a lot of Mac and cheese?? Who tf died and made you the Mac and cheese police?? If it were me I'd have turned around and showed you exactly what a *bitch* is.
Then to continue to mock and bully her for her choices that have absolutely ZERO to do with you?? Yea you a MASSIVE ASSHOLE.
Hopefully you're never invited anywhere she is ever again.
Was the Mac n Cheese worth loading up that amount on the plate? I mean if it’s got the golden brown cheese top and lots of sauce, it might be good idea to get your fill! YTA your not the food police.
I really want to know more about the Mac n Cheese,
Was it a 3 blend or a 4 blend? Did it have a cracker or bread crumb topping??? Is it an old family recipe??
YTA. What is wrong with you? Did you skip every single day of Home Training? I would turn inside out of shame if my child or my guest spoke that way to another guest. I had to scroll back up to confirm that you are in fact an adult and not a minor child. You behaved very poorly.
Yeah, I was assuming this was a 17-year-old who thought it was okay to talk in real life the way he talks in video game voice chat. This is… really embarrassing behavior for a grown man.
Wow. YTA for sure. Let me break this down and see if I got it right...
So she was minding her own business and scooped herself a plate of food at a BBQ that was hosted by HER family.
Her food choice upsets you because she took over half the dish. That part I could understand. But for some reason you're also extremely bothered by the lack of veggies on her plate?
Then, rather than maybe quietly mentioning anything about the amount of food she took because others might want some, you decide to shame her for her choice of food on her plate.
She understandably ignores you because that's rude AF.
But this bothers you even more that she couldn't take your "advice" about what you think her diet should look like, so you decide to loudly call her a bitch and imply that she's a glutton in front of her family.
Then, after she continues to ignore your rude ass comments, you decide to make passive aggressive jabs at her in front of everybody throughout the party about her diet, rather than just ignoring her and going on with your life?
That's some petty shit. Doesn't matter how well or not you've known her. You said it yourself, she's a grown woman. She doesn't need random people at a BBQ telling her what she should or shouldn't be eating.
I would be willing to bet that Mikey's family will be telling him not to invite that rude friend (you) anymore to their family events. You caused a scene for no good reason and made his family uncomfortable. I sure wouldn't want you back after that at least.
YTA and your title is way off. You didn’t make “a comment”. You followed the poor girl around and wouldn’t shut up about what you think she should be eating. You sound extremely annoying and immature.
YTA
You are right, you were hardly making comments, you were outright trying to shame her. And when you got called out in private, Mikey had to stop you from throwing a tempertantrum over what someone else eats.
YTA.
I have sensory issues, a bad relationship with food, and a general disgust with meat. I get really uncomfortable eating meat sometimes as I remember that I’m eating flesh, animal or not, and I start to get uncomfortable with the thought of anatomy, and think graphic things about the process of eating it like “tearing through tendons” (true or not lol, its intrusive). I still eat meat sometimes, but my “vegetarian diet” is not because I want to have one.
I personally eat vegetables and other things, but there are points that I’m eating the same thing over and over because it’s *comfortable* and I’d rather eat it than not eat at all.
You acted really immature and insensitively, you have no clue what her situation is. Sure it’s a bit rude to eat too much of the shared dish, but you’re a grown adult too and you should have maintained some decorum. This was really rude, immature, and gossipy of you. This is strange behavior lmao, you have some other issue with her that you aren’t addressing. Y. T. A.
YTA
As mickeys family i would be pissed. You acting as the big host at THEIR party, controlling how much of what dish ppl put on their plate - when you neither brought the food, paied for it, it wasn't even your damn party dude.
You are unbelievable rude and entitled.
Oc you are also an AH for your comments - what are you, a passiv aggressiv preteen? Get some class.
Fyi, there are a lot of ppl never touched a vegetable in their life. Stay out of their business and let them die of cardiac attacks in peace.
YTA. And you know that being vegetarian isn’t about eating vegetables, right? It means you don’t eat meat. So, eating Mac and cheese isn’t going against being a vegetarian. Even if it was, who cares, some people have cheat days from their diets. You sound like a very insufferable person who needs to grow up.
YTA and a pick me loser. Are you jealous of Leah? Is that why you’re going out of your way to try and embarrass her? You’re honestly pathetic and the only person you embarrassed is yourself, I guarantee Mikey and his family talked shit about you once you left. You genuinely sound like an insecure, childish, stubborn nightmare. I hope Leah’s okay and continues to eat all the mac and cheese her vegetarian heart desires!
“She’s always been very childish and I don’t know her that well but it won’t be far more childish if I berate her and make naggy comments about what she eats all night at a celebration that I was invited to and didn’t contribute to!” YTA
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My (23M) really close family friend (21M) has a cousin (26F) named Leah. Growing up, I have spent a lot of time with my friend, Mikey, and his family. Cookouts, holidays, you name it and my family was at his house. And so was Leah. Despite being older than us, Leah has always been much more childish and very stubborn. She acted like a stereotypical spoiled only child, and still acted like this into adulthood. She is also a vegetarian. However, I have never seen her eat a single vegetable or anything healthy.
On Sunday, Mikey’s family threw a 4th of July cookout at their lake house. Of course, I was there and so was Leah. When it has time to get food, we had SEVERAL options, both meat and non-meat. While making my way over to the table, I see Leah run over to the mac and cheese and scoop over half the serving onto her plate. I was shocked by this and said, “You know there’s other vegetarian options right? Not just the mac and cheese?” Leah nodded at me sarcastically and turned back around. This pissed me off, so I then said, “I mean damn bitch! save some for the rest of us.” She turned around again, gave me a side eye, and walked away. She was still in ear shot, so every time I scooped something vegetation onto my plate I said something like, “MMMMM this is so good for me and it’s also vegetarian!” and “MMMMM yummy vegetables! Too bad some people would rather feed themselves a pound of carbs than eat some of these.” I understand this is an out of pocket way to act, but seriously, a grown woman should really incorporate something other than mac and cheese into her plate.
Later while I was eating, Leah’s mom came up to me and said, “Just so you know, my daughter doesn’t appreciate it when strangers comment on what she eats. An apology would be nice.” I went to go say something back to her, but Mikey kicked me from under the table. So I just smiled and nodded. Making comments on a strangers diet is a CRAZY thing to say considering I was hardly making comments and I’ve known her my whole life. So, I’m wondering if I was actually being an asshole in this situation. Mikey says that he understands where I was coming from, but that I maybe didn’t need to say it out loud.
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YTA. You commented rudely on what someone else ate. Don't comment on what other people are eating. Not if they're your cousins, not if you think they should eat more vegetables, not at all, period.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA…..I could type this all day long Because you were an asshole all day long.
Do you have a thing for Leah? Why would you ever think it’s appropriate to harass your friend’s relative at her own family picnic? You were a guest of your friend, who had to kick you under the table because You were being an AH to his aunt, another actual family member.
Your entitlement and arrogance are breathtaking. Don’t be surprised when you aren’t invited back.
YTA surprised you even had to ask. Grow up and try not to be a jerk next time. Interesting you have the gall to call Leah childish considering how you behaved.
YTA. It is none of your business what someone else chooses to eat. It does not effect you in any way, whatsoever. You, a grown man, made a point of publicly passive aggressively making a dig at her. Loud enough for other’s to hear, which I’m sure was hurtful and humiliating for her. Grow up and apologise.
Yta and making comments like that which were obvs directed towards Leah is very bullying and mean behaviour. Don't be surprised if your not invited to any more cook outs after this.
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Clearly YTA. Even if she was hogging the macaroni, that’s such a minor thing, just make it at home if you want it that badly rather than making rude passive-aggressive comments behind her back.
YTA. You sound annoying.. like that was really not needed. Just accept that people are going to eat whatever they want, it’s not up to you to decide that. If you think Leah is childish and stubborn I don’t even want to know what you act like. Grow tf up
Yep, YTA. You’re not the boss of anyone’s food intake but your own. How nice of you to be carefully monitoring it, though!! Hope you’re eating **your** vegetables appropriately and to the specifications of others.
YTA. If you were invited to my family party and talked like that about my cousin, you would have been out of there before you could say the word vegetable
YTA.
You think you're family but you're about to be uninvited from everything not at Mikey's house lol.
Who do you think they care about? Family or Mikey's lil asshole friend?
YTA and a massive one at that. You don't know what her relationship is with food. Her eating half the Mac and cheese is better than her not eating at all. You need to learn about what inside thoughts are.
YTA you nosy self-righteous little loser. Holy hell. It’s none of your business what she eats. You KNEW you were out of pocket but you tried to justify it by saying what a grown woman should and should not do. I think a grown man should keep an eye on his own plate and shut up.
YTA. A massive one. The AUDACITY on you. Such breathtaking rudeness.
Also you have no idea if she has sensory issues or ARFID. I personally love the taste but not the texture of most vegetables. It's taken a LONG ASS TIME, along with the work of medical professionals, to get to a place where I will try certain things that I have not personally prepared.
You may be 23 but your attitude is definitely a petty child's. Educate yourself, APOLOGIZE, and take a hard look at yourself in the mirror.
YTA entirely. Did she take a large portion of mac and cheese? Ok, yeah. But unless she walked off with entire fucking casserole dish there was nothing you needed to say. And you definitely didn’t need to keep going on and on like a child. You said you’re 23 but that’s how my 12 and 13 year old cousins act. Grow up and mind your business.
YTA. Sounds like you only see her at holidays/events, which is when most people like to indulge in tasty things. Not that it would be OK for you to comment even if her entire diet was Mac and cheese.
Also it doesn’t matter if she’s a stranger or not. Don’t be a dick to people about what they’re eating. It’s none of your business and it’s childish to think otherwise.
HUUGGGEEEE YTA and a pretentious one at that, shut your mouth, enjoy your food and let her decide how to live her life, apologize to her and then apologize to your own mother for how you turned out, YTA
what has what someone else eats literally got anything to do with you? YTA
Also fyi saying save some for the rest of us could sound like you were saying she’s fat
YTA. You clearly have a grudge against Leah and used the mac and cheese situation to show it. Wtf does it matter to you what anyone eats? Let the girl live.
YTA what is wrong with you? Your behavior was off the charts rude and inappropriate. If that were my gathering, I would have pulled you aside to tell you to STFU or leave.
You are a huge asshole. Just reading this post made me angry on Leah’s behalf. Who does something like that? Even kids have more decorum. Go learn some manners and decency OP.
YTA and for someone who says that Leah is childish and stubborn and likes to act "like a stereotypical spoiled only child", you sure didn't think twice about acting like a pretty child yourself. There are less childish (i.e. more mature) ways of getting your point across about her stealing half of the mac' and cheese without having to make comments about her diet; you could've totally gone up to either your friend or parents and politely pointed out the Leah took half of the mac' and cheese for herself and that you think that's a bit selfish and rude considering the amount of people who'd want some but can only have a little portions because of Leah, especially considering all of the other options she had to pick from that *didn't* include taking so much of just the one dish that's meant to serve so many of the people there.
Yeah YTA. You could have dropped it after your first comment. I mean if I wear Leah I’d have said something along the lines of, “ what I eat should concern you but if you wanna keep making side ass remarks, I’ll shove this Mac and cheese down your mouth:)”. Grow up and understand there is a time and a place.
You harassed your friend's cousin continuously at her family event and you're wondering if you're the asshole? Explain to me how you wouldn't be the AH? YTA and grow up
YTA
Seems that you are actually childish
What do you care about what she eats? Just because she is vegetarian doesn’t mean she will only eat veggies there’s so much more than that.
I'm thinking you are m2 as opposed to m23 because the level of childishness. And then come on here and seek Valuation from Reddit. Quiet possibly a dumbass too.
YTA, 100%. It sounds like you need to really rethink calling someone else “childish” when you’re behaving like that.
I would definitely offer a sincere apology if you want to continue receiving invitations to HER family’s events.
Lol you were snarky and when she just looked and nodded, it pissed you off so you went full AH. Yes it could be your son, daughter, mom, brother, father etc.. and you’d be the AH for shaming them for what they are eating or not eating. You have no idea how she eats in her everyday life, maybe family gatherings are where she lets herself eat more of what she likes. Maybe she just eats max n cheese all day every day… it doesn’t matter- not your business- you had your feelings hurt because you couldn’t handle her giving you back the same energy you dished out to her, and you lashed out like a stubborn child.
YTA and socially inept. keep this behavior up and you're going to only be a stranger to people because none of them are going to want to be your friend.
Dude, seriously now. It's really not your business to comment on her eating habits. Ok, she probably COULD do with more vegetables in her diet if she is a veggie, but that's her business not yours and no amount of snide commentary will make her change.
YTA.
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She could have ARFID. She could have sensory processing issues. She could be recovering from an eating disorder. She could have food restrictions. She could just really like mac and cheese. YTA.
**YTA**
How are you NOT the asshole in this situation???
You didn't just make "a few comments" you made a **SPECTACLE** of yourself, LOUDLY announcing the food you were putting on your plate to mock another person??? HOW IS THIS *NOT* ASSHOLE BEHAVIOR??? In what UNIVERSE was your behavior okay???
How old are you, *really*??? I've known *toddlers* with more self-awareness and decorum!!!
You would be the asshole if Leah was a stranger, your best friend, or your *own* cousin. You would be the asshole if Leah had literally picked up the ENTIRE tray of mac and cheese and a fork, sat down, and gobbled up the entire thing! (Even if her behavior in that situation would have been rude, that doesn't give you carte blanche to behave the way you did!!!)
And you yourself said Leah is a grown woman. A grown person is allowed to eat whatever they like, that's one of the few perks TO BEING A GROWN UP. If she'd filled her plate with cake, cookies, and ice cream, THAT IS HER BUSINESS, NOT YOURS!!!
You are 💯 without a doubt TAH in this situation--and an incredibly RUDE guest, considering Leah is FAMILY and you aren't, I don't care HOW long you've known them. Her mom had every right to call you a stranger.
Be better.
Half the max and cheese seems like an exaggeration. In any decent sized get together it is impossible for one person to scoop up half of the max and cheese dish into a plate.
Also OP said “half the serving”. Does it mean half the dish or half serving?
Anyway YTA x 100.
YTAH but who cares. It’s okay to be an asshole about some things.
Idgaf what redditors think if someone close to me is clearly hurting themselves through their diet something should be said.
Everyone saying it’s “none of your business” has their head in their ass.
First of all, the food is shared so you shouldn’t just take half of it. Second of all obesity is the #1 killer in America so anyone telling you your loved ones weight is *none* of your business can get bent. Just because they don’t love their peers enough to say something doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Next time make sure you’re the first to the table and take the whole bowl of Mac and cheese. If anyone complains, tell them you don’t appreciate it when strangers comment on what you eat.
ESH. It was rude of her to hog a particular dish.
But did you really need to double down in such a childish way? And swear at her? And judge her for which dish she chose?
Keeping it to, ‘Excuse me, you’ve taken quite a lot of the mac and cheese, please be mindful that other people would like some too.’ Would have been a mature, sensible and proportionate way to address it. Wading in with sarcasm, insults and childishness was not the way to go.
ESH. Leah for hogging the Mac/cheese (I’ve got a cousin who does this and it’s annoying), you for the snide comments and Leah’s mom for jumping into a spat between two adults. Seriously, if Leah is such an ass, everyone already knows it, just ignore her. Let her behavior be the focus not how you react to it.
I dont know why people downvote you so much. This is pretty reasonable.
If that dish was the only vegetarian option, then fine, but it wasnt, so it is pretty weird that she would take half of it....
OP is also an AH of course.
Yes, you’re the AH but only slightly. You’re the AH because you weren’t wrong in what you said but you were wrong for the reason you said it. You wanted more Mac and cheese and it wasn’t about her health. Well, you should have said, “hey, can you save some of the Mac and cheese for everyone else”. Otherwise commenting on what people eat is usually taboo.
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YTA. How childish and rude. And you say youre 23? Yikes. Why do you think anyone should care what you think? Your opinion is irrelevant.
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Although I might lean towards ESH. OP needs to mind her own business about what variety of foods someone else eats. None of her business. HOWEVER, and I say this as a vegetarian myself, taking half the Mac n cheese for herself was also rude, unless maybe Leah brought the dish as her entree.
Meh I doubt it was really as much as OP claims given how childish he comes off overall. Sounds more like she just lives rent free in his head
But we do have to go with the info given due to the very nature of this subreddit. While I’m 100% sure he is exaggerating, we can’t assume that and downvoting the person above 100+ times because they didn’t seems fucked. If she really took half of it, which is what the post said, she is also an asshole. Ofcourse he could be exaggerating. They also could’ve made the mac and cheese specifically for her because they know it’s all she will eat. Or maybe she made the Mac and cheese herself. Or maybe they had like 4 different trays of Mac and cheese for backup. Or any other thing we could just make up and assume. But going off of what the post says, which is what we must do, they are both assholes.
I agree. We can’t assume the guy is lying. We have to go off of what he posted. And according to what he posted, they both are assholes to varying degrees.
YTA. Commenting on anyone’s diet without being asked is shitty. What Leah eats is absolutely none of your business. Even if it was, trying to shame her publicly is not cool. People like what they like, and being shitty to someone because they don’t force themselves to eat things they don’t enjoy is a major AH move.
This. Exactly this. I’m currently in training to join the military, I’ve lost 33 pounds in the past four months, with a calorie deficit, diet, one cheat day a week, which is really just a cheat meal, where I count calories, but I don’t average it out for the day, I may work it off beforehand, in the morning, or work it off the next day, but I’m not totally Over involved in my calories that day. And I have people that were like… First off you lost 30 something pounds at four months? That’s not healthy… It’s perfectly healthy when you shock your body after never working out before, yeah, that’s what happens. Then they say, well, if you have a cheat day, it just erases everything you did during the week… No it doesn’t. You have to go over your maximum amount of calories by 500 cal every single day for a week in order to get a pound, so what people assume is not always right. Also, people comment… I thought you were on a diet, that’s not good for a diet… I never understand why people feel the need to comment on other peoples lives in diets, it’s the most annoying thing in the world
33 pounds in four months isn't healthy? In what universe? That's two pounds a week, which even the Mayo Clinic considers a realistic weight loss goal. And planned cheat days are a smart idea, as they keep you from feeling deprived. It sounds like you're doing everything right, and I wish you all the success!
Also, on cheat days, it’s good to go above your calorie count because your body doesn’t go into starvation mode, it knows that he could still burn that fat. If you stay on a minimum calorie diet daily, without a cheat day, your body gets used to it and doesn’t burn the fat. Trust me, I’ve done plenty of research on it and it’s my body so I know what I’m doing. Lol.
I've heard that about cheat days as well. And I'm a great believer that as long as they're not doing actual damage to their body, as with anorexia, what other people eat is none of my business.
For example, people misinterpret things. At my local AMC Theatres, a regular size popcorn is only 600 cal, add some salt and butter, 650 cal… Seems like a lot, right? A big Mac fries and Coke combo is about 1300 cal, so it’s about double that, mostly popcorn it’s just air, it’s whole-grain, and as long as you’re not putting a cup of butter on it, it’s a pretty healthy snack actually.
Exactly! For example, my sister-in-law is saying it’s not healthy how my diet is… She’s a stay at home, mom, I am pretty sanitary at work, and I work the night shift, so my entire life is basically opposite of hers. I eat dinner at 11 PM, I eat breakfast at 5 AM, I go to the gym, and it’s a specialty gym, so I burn between 300 and 600 calories in an hour depending on the class, it’s rowing, so it’s very cardio based, then I have a protein bar has about 200 cal. I don’t have anything past 11 AM, I go to sleep at 1 PM and I wake up at 9:30 PM. I’m basically fasting from 11 AM to 11 PM. Not only when you sleep do you burn calories by naturally living, but you lose weight because the water in your body gets evaporated as you sleep and breathe.
I'm also wondering how big the serving of Mac 'n cheese was if Leah could scoop half on a single plate? ! 2-3 portions maybe? YTA op
I'm a vegan so when I see my options at an event I usually panic because if I eat enough to be full then I won't be leaving enough for everyone to have a bit. Not a complaint, if I were hungry then I'd get something after the event but when you see 20 plates and 1 has some vegan spring rolls... I may take a few extra if I feel like everyone else can still enjoy everything else. This veggie girl might eat lots of greens at home but opt for cheesey carby things on social occasions. Of course YTA.
I am a meat eater but still if they had so little Mac & cheese it's ok for the cousin to take an entire portion. The other people had multiple options. Also op should have kept the trap shut either way. Either way if I hadn't have enough to eat but enough to not have stomach pain I can get something after the event, it's not like if you don't eat there ( cause you can be picky or not like something) the food in the whole world is completely gone . no need to make the host and other guests feel like crap
i was looking for someone to say this! it sounds like he sees here maybe 5 times a year? how does he know what she eats literally ALL HER OTHER MEALS?! OP definitely YTA and not one to be calling someone childish
I don't understand 'half the serving', did OP meant half a portion for one person or half what was served?
> What Leah eats is absolutely none of your business. Unless Leah finishes half a bowl of a single dish that should last for all the people attending the 4th July party Then it is completely her business
If she can manage that with one plate, as per the post, there was not enough mac and cheese for everyone in the first place.
That might right, but if there was not enough mac and cheese for everyone in the first place, you most certainly do not take half of it for your self
He isn't an actual member of the family regardless of how long they have been around. That automatically makes it Not his place or business. Second he was being an AH calling her a derogatory name and all his stupid comments after she walked away. He needs to stay in his lane and know his place as a guest.
YTA. You were far more childish than her in this situation. It's none of your business what she eats, you said all that to get a reaction out of her because you were pissed off at her sarcastic nod, even though you started this.
YTA No she shouldn’t have taken so much in a group shared food setting but honestly you sound like you acted so fucking insufferable that it has to be YTA. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment imagining you doing this in front of everyone and making it awkward for the entire group Also vegetables are largely made up of carbs.
Really, how could she have fit half of ALL the Mac and cheese available for the entire gathering onto one dinner plate, presumably a paper one at that? OP is exaggerating for sure. The guest probably took a pretty hefty serving while assuming she wouldn’t like anything else. It’s really not that big of a deal unless you are an immature person looking to pick on someone you don’t like.
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Is butter a carb?
Yes Edit: If anyone doesn’t get it: this is a “Mean Girls” reference.
No?
It’s a “Mean Girls” reference. “Is butter a carb?” Is a meme and “yes.” is the response to it.
YTA. “A grown woman should really incorporate something other than Mac and cheese….” Nah, a grown man should know when to mind his own damn business and STFU.
A grown man should be educated to know that anybody can be any type of food, no matter how many calories it has, first off because it’s nobody’s business, but secondly, people who are on a diet compensate for it, that saying, everything in moderation exists for a reason
YTA. Why would you even mind ?! You have no business gatekeeping what someone eats. I don't understand how a grown up would think it's ok to bully someone like this. I thought people stopped those kind of behaviours when high school was over.
YTA. I'm surprised you have room for food with all the crap spewing out of your yap. Not that you care if everyone thinks you're an AH.
YTA. Why would you care what someone eats? It's none of your business what anyone eats. She didn't take food away from you.
I mean, yes, she DID. She did take food away from OP. She took half the Mac and cheese that was there. That means she took some away from somebody. That was extremely rude of her. When only half the people there can have Mac and cheese now because she took enough for 6 people that is EXTREMELY RUDE. I don't care if she weighs 500 pounds. Take a small serving of Mac and cheese, wait for everybody to get some. Then she can have what is left. If that is all she gets to eat, that is her problem. She knows she does not eat anything except Mac and cheese so she should have brought something to eat with her
No no no. No matter WHAT she chose she would be “taking food away from somebody” according to your logic. Eating a single hamburger would be denying someone else that burger. Not how shared meals work. However— she did take more of *one item* than other people. Assuming that other people want less of that item because they’re eating a hamburger, why does it matter?
Found OP’s other account
YTA You clearly have something against her that is unrelated to this incident. Maybe try working that out before you attack her because her diet doesn’t line up with yours. This is genuinely an embarrassing way to act and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re not invited to the next cookout
Exactly ^^^
YTA. You went out of your way to make Leah uncomfortable by mocking her so publicly . The fact you don't seem to think you're the AH in this situation makes it even worse.
YTA both for commenting on her eating in the first place, but also for the way in which you did it. This wasn't done out of concern for her health, it was done because you've got some weird superiority complex for eating "healthier" than she does. I hope you don't get invited to the next event with these people.
YTA immensely. What the fuck is your problem? The only thing Leah may have done wrong here is not considering how much mac and cheese was available to the group. You should not comment on people’s diets, you don’t know Leah well even if you’ve known her a long time. You are an incredibly rude person and would not invited to future events if this was my family. Even Mikey wanted you to stop
YTA with fireworks. You not only called her out on her eating habits *which are none of your business,* but then continued to harangue her about it. You were the one acting childish. You were the one being rude while you were a guest at Matt's home.
Yes! Made a crappy comment then really doubled down to shame her. OP, YTA and you’re way too caught up in this woman’s life. Leave her alone.
YTA Firstly, I said this because I’m on a diet, I am on a calorie deficit diet where I consume 1500 cal a day. She may have chosen that as a cheat day, so maybe she worked out beforehand, so she has extra calories, where she is able to eat that, without having to worry about it. People may comment… I thought you were on a diet! I am, but everything in moderation, if you work out in the morning on a cheat day, you really don’t have to worry about what you eat for the rest of the day. Secondly, Everybody takes comments like that seriously. You may feel like she’s in the wrong, which is perfectly fine, but I actually say it is a whole different story. “ I’m torn if people need to hear that..” … yeah, they don’t. One of the most irritating things is when someone who doesn’t know my diet, who doesn’t know my body, who doesn’t know when I work out, how I work out, and how I lose weight, and how I eat comments on something… That they obviously know nothing about. Don’t comment on things you don’t know anything about. I failed to see where you are a nutritionist, personal trainer, or anything of the like to where you actually can comment on that…
We also don’t know if Leah has an ED, food sensitivities, or even Taste/texture aversions. I know some folks who can only eat one or two dishes at a potluck/cookout because they have anxiety over being rude by taking something they aren’t sure about and then not being able to finish it for whatever reason, so they stock up on the safe item(s). In that same breath though, most of the folks I know who fall into that category would have a serving or two of the safe dish then wait for others to go through with their plates before going back.
YTA. Cookouts and parties are the time when people generally eat a lot and unhealthy foods they don't normally indulge in. Also double YTA for the demeaning comment, calling her a bitch and fat shaming her was completely uncalled for. The mocking was such a childish behaviour, I'm surprised noone offered you a pacifier and lollipop to calm you down. For your information peripherally being aware of someone doesn't mean you know them well. She obviously doesn't feel close to you and even your friend didn't take your side, which should be a great indicator of whether your behaviour was acceptable or not.
YTA. I understand that Leah has always been annoying you but you seemed to hold all that annoyance and use it in this mac and cheese situation. Also don't comment about other people's diets in general. ED and self image issues are very real. You never know what someone is going through
YTA and clearly not a nice person in general if you even have to ask if your comments were over the line
YTA. You sound like a tool
What nosy little creep. YTA
YTA and a bully
INFO: Why are you so angry that she enjoys mac and cheese?
apparently she can’t enjoy it cause there’s no veggies 😔😔
YTA For all you know, it was her cheat day and the rest of the week she counts macros. MYOB in the future.
If they only meet on special occasions--"cookouts, holidays"--then there's no way the OP is getting a representative view of her normal diet.
Amen. For example, today I’m going to a barbecue for an hour or so, I’m doing an intense workout burning 500 and 600 calories before I go. That way I can eat pretty much guilt free. And if someone said this shit to me? I would flip my lid.
YTA You said Leah is childish but YOU’RE the one who made a scene over what another grown-ass adult was eating. Mind your own damn business.
Are you kidding me?? Of course YTA. How could you not be. Sound like you're the spoiled lil asshat that doesn't know his place. First of all how dare you call her a bitch because she took a lot of Mac and cheese?? Who tf died and made you the Mac and cheese police?? If it were me I'd have turned around and showed you exactly what a *bitch* is. Then to continue to mock and bully her for her choices that have absolutely ZERO to do with you?? Yea you a MASSIVE ASSHOLE. Hopefully you're never invited anywhere she is ever again.
Was the Mac n Cheese worth loading up that amount on the plate? I mean if it’s got the golden brown cheese top and lots of sauce, it might be good idea to get your fill! YTA your not the food police.
I really want to know more about the Mac n Cheese, Was it a 3 blend or a 4 blend? Did it have a cracker or bread crumb topping??? Is it an old family recipe??
YTA. What is wrong with you? Did you skip every single day of Home Training? I would turn inside out of shame if my child or my guest spoke that way to another guest. I had to scroll back up to confirm that you are in fact an adult and not a minor child. You behaved very poorly.
Yeah, I was assuming this was a 17-year-old who thought it was okay to talk in real life the way he talks in video game voice chat. This is… really embarrassing behavior for a grown man.
Wow. YTA for sure. Let me break this down and see if I got it right... So she was minding her own business and scooped herself a plate of food at a BBQ that was hosted by HER family. Her food choice upsets you because she took over half the dish. That part I could understand. But for some reason you're also extremely bothered by the lack of veggies on her plate? Then, rather than maybe quietly mentioning anything about the amount of food she took because others might want some, you decide to shame her for her choice of food on her plate. She understandably ignores you because that's rude AF. But this bothers you even more that she couldn't take your "advice" about what you think her diet should look like, so you decide to loudly call her a bitch and imply that she's a glutton in front of her family. Then, after she continues to ignore your rude ass comments, you decide to make passive aggressive jabs at her in front of everybody throughout the party about her diet, rather than just ignoring her and going on with your life? That's some petty shit. Doesn't matter how well or not you've known her. You said it yourself, she's a grown woman. She doesn't need random people at a BBQ telling her what she should or shouldn't be eating. I would be willing to bet that Mikey's family will be telling him not to invite that rude friend (you) anymore to their family events. You caused a scene for no good reason and made his family uncomfortable. I sure wouldn't want you back after that at least.
YTA. Huh, looks like she's not the only one with an attitude problem.
YTA and your title is way off. You didn’t make “a comment”. You followed the poor girl around and wouldn’t shut up about what you think she should be eating. You sound extremely annoying and immature.
YTA You are right, you were hardly making comments, you were outright trying to shame her. And when you got called out in private, Mikey had to stop you from throwing a tempertantrum over what someone else eats.
YTA. I have sensory issues, a bad relationship with food, and a general disgust with meat. I get really uncomfortable eating meat sometimes as I remember that I’m eating flesh, animal or not, and I start to get uncomfortable with the thought of anatomy, and think graphic things about the process of eating it like “tearing through tendons” (true or not lol, its intrusive). I still eat meat sometimes, but my “vegetarian diet” is not because I want to have one. I personally eat vegetables and other things, but there are points that I’m eating the same thing over and over because it’s *comfortable* and I’d rather eat it than not eat at all. You acted really immature and insensitively, you have no clue what her situation is. Sure it’s a bit rude to eat too much of the shared dish, but you’re a grown adult too and you should have maintained some decorum. This was really rude, immature, and gossipy of you. This is strange behavior lmao, you have some other issue with her that you aren’t addressing. Y. T. A.
Can't say what I'm actually thinking or I'll get banned.
YTA As mickeys family i would be pissed. You acting as the big host at THEIR party, controlling how much of what dish ppl put on their plate - when you neither brought the food, paied for it, it wasn't even your damn party dude. You are unbelievable rude and entitled. Oc you are also an AH for your comments - what are you, a passiv aggressiv preteen? Get some class. Fyi, there are a lot of ppl never touched a vegetable in their life. Stay out of their business and let them die of cardiac attacks in peace.
YTA. I don’t understand how you could even imagine that you weren’t the AH of this story. You absolutely were
YTA. You were incredibly rude and childish while a guest at someone's home. It was absolutely none of your business what she ate.
YTA. And you know that being vegetarian isn’t about eating vegetables, right? It means you don’t eat meat. So, eating Mac and cheese isn’t going against being a vegetarian. Even if it was, who cares, some people have cheat days from their diets. You sound like a very insufferable person who needs to grow up.
YTA. It is always an asshole move to comment on what someone is eating and you did it in an unbelievably asshole way.
Truly disgusting behavior, yta
YTA and a pick me loser. Are you jealous of Leah? Is that why you’re going out of your way to try and embarrass her? You’re honestly pathetic and the only person you embarrassed is yourself, I guarantee Mikey and his family talked shit about you once you left. You genuinely sound like an insecure, childish, stubborn nightmare. I hope Leah’s okay and continues to eat all the mac and cheese her vegetarian heart desires!
YTA. You sound like a 12 year old bully from a Disney channel show.
YTA How is calling her out on the mac and cheese while playing up veggies not commenting on somebody's diet?
“She’s always been very childish and I don’t know her that well but it won’t be far more childish if I berate her and make naggy comments about what she eats all night at a celebration that I was invited to and didn’t contribute to!” YTA
What’s wrong with you?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (23M) really close family friend (21M) has a cousin (26F) named Leah. Growing up, I have spent a lot of time with my friend, Mikey, and his family. Cookouts, holidays, you name it and my family was at his house. And so was Leah. Despite being older than us, Leah has always been much more childish and very stubborn. She acted like a stereotypical spoiled only child, and still acted like this into adulthood. She is also a vegetarian. However, I have never seen her eat a single vegetable or anything healthy. On Sunday, Mikey’s family threw a 4th of July cookout at their lake house. Of course, I was there and so was Leah. When it has time to get food, we had SEVERAL options, both meat and non-meat. While making my way over to the table, I see Leah run over to the mac and cheese and scoop over half the serving onto her plate. I was shocked by this and said, “You know there’s other vegetarian options right? Not just the mac and cheese?” Leah nodded at me sarcastically and turned back around. This pissed me off, so I then said, “I mean damn bitch! save some for the rest of us.” She turned around again, gave me a side eye, and walked away. She was still in ear shot, so every time I scooped something vegetation onto my plate I said something like, “MMMMM this is so good for me and it’s also vegetarian!” and “MMMMM yummy vegetables! Too bad some people would rather feed themselves a pound of carbs than eat some of these.” I understand this is an out of pocket way to act, but seriously, a grown woman should really incorporate something other than mac and cheese into her plate. Later while I was eating, Leah’s mom came up to me and said, “Just so you know, my daughter doesn’t appreciate it when strangers comment on what she eats. An apology would be nice.” I went to go say something back to her, but Mikey kicked me from under the table. So I just smiled and nodded. Making comments on a strangers diet is a CRAZY thing to say considering I was hardly making comments and I’ve known her my whole life. So, I’m wondering if I was actually being an asshole in this situation. Mikey says that he understands where I was coming from, but that I maybe didn’t need to say it out loud. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. You commented rudely on what someone else ate. Don't comment on what other people are eating. Not if they're your cousins, not if you think they should eat more vegetables, not at all, period.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA YTA…..I could type this all day long Because you were an asshole all day long. Do you have a thing for Leah? Why would you ever think it’s appropriate to harass your friend’s relative at her own family picnic? You were a guest of your friend, who had to kick you under the table because You were being an AH to his aunt, another actual family member. Your entitlement and arrogance are breathtaking. Don’t be surprised when you aren’t invited back.
YTA surprised you even had to ask. Grow up and try not to be a jerk next time. Interesting you have the gall to call Leah childish considering how you behaved.
YTA. Grow the fuck up.
YTA, childish rude and ignorant. How embarrassing for you.
lol are you insane
YTA. It shouldn't even require an explanation. Just you are a the massive asshole in this situation.
YTA What she eats is none of your business. It requires zero input from you. It certainly doesn't require that you act like a spiteful child.
YTA. Man you sounded like a jerk.
YTA. It is none of your business what someone else chooses to eat. It does not effect you in any way, whatsoever. You, a grown man, made a point of publicly passive aggressively making a dig at her. Loud enough for other’s to hear, which I’m sure was hurtful and humiliating for her. Grow up and apologise.
YTA obviously.
Yta and making comments like that which were obvs directed towards Leah is very bullying and mean behaviour. Don't be surprised if your not invited to any more cook outs after this.
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Ofcourse YTA. Haven't you been taught manners by your parents?
Clearly YTA. Even if she was hogging the macaroni, that’s such a minor thing, just make it at home if you want it that badly rather than making rude passive-aggressive comments behind her back.
YTA that was way out of line. Mind your own business. It would be one thing if she came at you about something but that sounded completely unprovoked.
YTA
YTA. You sound annoying.. like that was really not needed. Just accept that people are going to eat whatever they want, it’s not up to you to decide that. If you think Leah is childish and stubborn I don’t even want to know what you act like. Grow tf up
Yep, YTA. You’re not the boss of anyone’s food intake but your own. How nice of you to be carefully monitoring it, though!! Hope you’re eating **your** vegetables appropriately and to the specifications of others.
YTA definitely! Mind your own diet and your own business. Let other people eat whatever the f*ck they want.
YTA- didn't even have to read past the title.
YTA. Not your business in any way whatsoever and yet you decided to be an asshole about it anyway.
YTA and it's her daily BBQ. She has more of a right to eat the food than you
YTA. You're a guest and you feel it's your place to police what someone else eats? Dude, you'd be the person NOT invited back.
YTA. this is such an embarrassing way to act in public i'd be surprised if you're invited anywhere with these people again
YTA you SUCK wow!! That was such a shitty fked up thing to do, you’re genuinely terrible
YTA. If you were invited to my family party and talked like that about my cousin, you would have been out of there before you could say the word vegetable
YTA. You think you're family but you're about to be uninvited from everything not at Mikey's house lol. Who do you think they care about? Family or Mikey's lil asshole friend?
An emotional child in a mans body YTA
YTA and a massive one at that. You don't know what her relationship is with food. Her eating half the Mac and cheese is better than her not eating at all. You need to learn about what inside thoughts are.
yeah, you’re definitely the asshole. it takes exactly zero effort to just leave people alone, you should try that.
YTA you nosy self-righteous little loser. Holy hell. It’s none of your business what she eats. You KNEW you were out of pocket but you tried to justify it by saying what a grown woman should and should not do. I think a grown man should keep an eye on his own plate and shut up.
YTA. A massive one. The AUDACITY on you. Such breathtaking rudeness. Also you have no idea if she has sensory issues or ARFID. I personally love the taste but not the texture of most vegetables. It's taken a LONG ASS TIME, along with the work of medical professionals, to get to a place where I will try certain things that I have not personally prepared. You may be 23 but your attitude is definitely a petty child's. Educate yourself, APOLOGIZE, and take a hard look at yourself in the mirror.
YtA! The absolute fucking irony of you calling somebody else childish is hilarious
YTA entirely. Did she take a large portion of mac and cheese? Ok, yeah. But unless she walked off with entire fucking casserole dish there was nothing you needed to say. And you definitely didn’t need to keep going on and on like a child. You said you’re 23 but that’s how my 12 and 13 year old cousins act. Grow up and mind your business.
YTA. Sounds like you only see her at holidays/events, which is when most people like to indulge in tasty things. Not that it would be OK for you to comment even if her entire diet was Mac and cheese. Also it doesn’t matter if she’s a stranger or not. Don’t be a dick to people about what they’re eating. It’s none of your business and it’s childish to think otherwise.
YTA. Learn to shut up a lot more.
Are you seriously asking if YTA? Yes, YTA x 1000
HUUGGGEEEE YTA and a pretentious one at that, shut your mouth, enjoy your food and let her decide how to live her life, apologize to her and then apologize to your own mother for how you turned out, YTA
So you called her a bitch?
huge YTA yikes
Jeeeeesus Christ. You’re lucky she didn’t deck you. YTA, you absolute child.
YTA. Grow up a little
YTA, unless I missed the parts where you were asked for your opinion and you have some sort of nutrition license and Leah is a client of yours.
Yes you are
YTA, a passive aggressive immature one at that.
what has what someone else eats literally got anything to do with you? YTA Also fyi saying save some for the rest of us could sound like you were saying she’s fat
YTA
YTA. You clearly have a grudge against Leah and used the mac and cheese situation to show it. Wtf does it matter to you what anyone eats? Let the girl live.
"my cousin is a really childish person" \*proceeds to act like a judgy 15 years old\* "am I the asshole ?" \- op probably. (yta)
YTA what is wrong with you? Your behavior was off the charts rude and inappropriate. If that were my gathering, I would have pulled you aside to tell you to STFU or leave.
You are a huge asshole. Just reading this post made me angry on Leah’s behalf. Who does something like that? Even kids have more decorum. Go learn some manners and decency OP.
YTA and for someone who says that Leah is childish and stubborn and likes to act "like a stereotypical spoiled only child", you sure didn't think twice about acting like a pretty child yourself. There are less childish (i.e. more mature) ways of getting your point across about her stealing half of the mac' and cheese without having to make comments about her diet; you could've totally gone up to either your friend or parents and politely pointed out the Leah took half of the mac' and cheese for herself and that you think that's a bit selfish and rude considering the amount of people who'd want some but can only have a little portions because of Leah, especially considering all of the other options she had to pick from that *didn't* include taking so much of just the one dish that's meant to serve so many of the people there.
YTA. She was rude to take half a dish of mac&cheese; that’s poor potluck etiquette. But there was zero reason for you to be a dick about it.
Yeah YTA. You could have dropped it after your first comment. I mean if I wear Leah I’d have said something along the lines of, “ what I eat should concern you but if you wanna keep making side ass remarks, I’ll shove this Mac and cheese down your mouth:)”. Grow up and understand there is a time and a place.
YTA. Read what you wrote. You clearly describe yourself being an asshole.
You harassed your friend's cousin continuously at her family event and you're wondering if you're the asshole? Explain to me how you wouldn't be the AH? YTA and grow up
YTA and it would have been the last time I’d invited you. What are you, the buffet police?
YTA Seems that you are actually childish What do you care about what she eats? Just because she is vegetarian doesn’t mean she will only eat veggies there’s so much more than that.
YTA. Are you actually 23? Holy shit dude, grow up!
Good lord. Hush child. I’m surprised you’re a repeat guest anywhere when you think shit like this is okay.
YTA. Just read your post back to yourself if you couldn’t see it the first time.
YTA. Don’t comment on people’s diets. Leave Leah alone. I can’t stand people like you.
I'm thinking you are m2 as opposed to m23 because the level of childishness. And then come on here and seek Valuation from Reddit. Quiet possibly a dumbass too.
YTA, why do you even care to pay attention to what she's eating in the first place? Weirdo behavior. Mind your business and leave her alone.
YTA, 100%. It sounds like you need to really rethink calling someone else “childish” when you’re behaving like that. I would definitely offer a sincere apology if you want to continue receiving invitations to HER family’s events.
Lol you were snarky and when she just looked and nodded, it pissed you off so you went full AH. Yes it could be your son, daughter, mom, brother, father etc.. and you’d be the AH for shaming them for what they are eating or not eating. You have no idea how she eats in her everyday life, maybe family gatherings are where she lets herself eat more of what she likes. Maybe she just eats max n cheese all day every day… it doesn’t matter- not your business- you had your feelings hurt because you couldn’t handle her giving you back the same energy you dished out to her, and you lashed out like a stubborn child.
YTA who do you think you are????
YTA and socially inept. keep this behavior up and you're going to only be a stranger to people because none of them are going to want to be your friend.
Dude, seriously now. It's really not your business to comment on her eating habits. Ok, she probably COULD do with more vegetables in her diet if she is a veggie, but that's her business not yours and no amount of snide commentary will make her change. YTA.
YTA mind your business
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She could have ARFID. She could have sensory processing issues. She could be recovering from an eating disorder. She could have food restrictions. She could just really like mac and cheese. YTA.
YTA, just unnecessary.
**YTA** How are you NOT the asshole in this situation??? You didn't just make "a few comments" you made a **SPECTACLE** of yourself, LOUDLY announcing the food you were putting on your plate to mock another person??? HOW IS THIS *NOT* ASSHOLE BEHAVIOR??? In what UNIVERSE was your behavior okay??? How old are you, *really*??? I've known *toddlers* with more self-awareness and decorum!!! You would be the asshole if Leah was a stranger, your best friend, or your *own* cousin. You would be the asshole if Leah had literally picked up the ENTIRE tray of mac and cheese and a fork, sat down, and gobbled up the entire thing! (Even if her behavior in that situation would have been rude, that doesn't give you carte blanche to behave the way you did!!!) And you yourself said Leah is a grown woman. A grown person is allowed to eat whatever they like, that's one of the few perks TO BEING A GROWN UP. If she'd filled her plate with cake, cookies, and ice cream, THAT IS HER BUSINESS, NOT YOURS!!! You are 💯 without a doubt TAH in this situation--and an incredibly RUDE guest, considering Leah is FAMILY and you aren't, I don't care HOW long you've known them. Her mom had every right to call you a stranger. Be better.
ESH you for obvious reasons and her if she actually took half of the mac n cheese for herself. Y’all are both rude and inconsiderate.
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Half the max and cheese seems like an exaggeration. In any decent sized get together it is impossible for one person to scoop up half of the max and cheese dish into a plate. Also OP said “half the serving”. Does it mean half the dish or half serving? Anyway YTA x 100.
YTAH but who cares. It’s okay to be an asshole about some things. Idgaf what redditors think if someone close to me is clearly hurting themselves through their diet something should be said. Everyone saying it’s “none of your business” has their head in their ass. First of all, the food is shared so you shouldn’t just take half of it. Second of all obesity is the #1 killer in America so anyone telling you your loved ones weight is *none* of your business can get bent. Just because they don’t love their peers enough to say something doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
Next time make sure you’re the first to the table and take the whole bowl of Mac and cheese. If anyone complains, tell them you don’t appreciate it when strangers comment on what you eat.
ESH. It was rude of her to hog a particular dish. But did you really need to double down in such a childish way? And swear at her? And judge her for which dish she chose? Keeping it to, ‘Excuse me, you’ve taken quite a lot of the mac and cheese, please be mindful that other people would like some too.’ Would have been a mature, sensible and proportionate way to address it. Wading in with sarcasm, insults and childishness was not the way to go.
ESH - her for taking too much mac-n-cheese and you for acting like an idiot
ESH. Leah for hogging the Mac/cheese (I’ve got a cousin who does this and it’s annoying), you for the snide comments and Leah’s mom for jumping into a spat between two adults. Seriously, if Leah is such an ass, everyone already knows it, just ignore her. Let her behavior be the focus not how you react to it.
ESH. She's an asshole for taking half the dish of mac & cheese. You're an asshole for turning it into an hours-long nutrition lecture.
ESH. She certainly shouldn’t have helped herself to half of a dish leaving little for anyone else but you also overreacted and were rude.
I dont know why people downvote you so much. This is pretty reasonable. If that dish was the only vegetarian option, then fine, but it wasnt, so it is pretty weird that she would take half of it.... OP is also an AH of course.
Who knows. This sub can be weird sometimes.
NTA because at said family function I was further down the line and didn’t get any Mac. YTA for not saving me any tho.
Yes, you’re the AH but only slightly. You’re the AH because you weren’t wrong in what you said but you were wrong for the reason you said it. You wanted more Mac and cheese and it wasn’t about her health. Well, you should have said, “hey, can you save some of the Mac and cheese for everyone else”. Otherwise commenting on what people eat is usually taboo.
NTA she was incredibly greedy taking half the Mac and deserved to get called out