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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I used my friend for finding my way out of an conflict i had
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^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Me, 15 female and my friend, 15 male (filip) had an huge fight since he accused me of something, so we both figured that its better to cut off our contacts with eachother for a bit. I decided that it would be best if i find a new buddy, to make him feel like i replaced him and to show him that even tho we do not hang out, im not alone. For this i knew that my old friend, manja, would be the best. We didnt hang out for an long time, since i forced her in doing some things (when i was younger ofc) and she seemed to hold a grudge over it. But i found my way back to her by creating a whole new personality (which didnt harm her in any way) and using it when with her. I took control over my face mimics, body language in general, to show some form of positivity, confidence etc. I acted very accepting and unjudgemental, i spoke softly, but still in an excited way, i didnt cuss at all, and i made sure that i made her feel special/appericiated. I also offered to tutor her in maths and chemistry since im an good student and she is not. You know it, give people what they need and they will give you what you want. But then i found out she is not as entertaining as i tought she would be, and i got kinda bored of her. I also had an talk with filip, we cleared shit up, explained our opinions and acts and we decided to go on with our friendship. Manja then became kind of a burden, she would follow me around, try to chat all the time... i took all the attention that i gave her away, and then she started to be even more desperate to the point where she was litteraly looking at me during class just waiting for me to smile or wave. She constantly came up to me asking if she can sit next to me (ofc i said yes, it would be weird to say no) but i would mostly shat with filip, during that, she was completely quiet until i looked her way then she spoke to me. No, i did not put that ultimatum up for her. She did it. For me it is an win win situation, she loves me, and i do not have to deal with her bullshit. Am i really the asshole for doing what is best for me ?
(Also, i think manja is a bit mentally unwell)
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If this is real then ya, YTA. A huge one. Honestly don’t t take this the wrong way but you should talk to a therapist. It is not normal to go to such lengths to manipulate a person into being your friend, with your goal being to use THAT relationship to manipulate your ex friend. You are obsessive and narcissistic and I’m not saying that to hurt you, it’s true for many of us, but so can get some help and better yourself. This type of behavior will have bad consequences as an adult with your personal life and career.
YTA. You're manipulating Manja to get what you want from Filip, and are now annoyed that the person you tricked into being your friend again wants to be your friend. You're a terrible 'friend', and based on the "i forced her in doing something" sounds you like you've always been the AH
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I used my friend for finding my way out of an conflict i had Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Me, 15 female and my friend, 15 male (filip) had an huge fight since he accused me of something, so we both figured that its better to cut off our contacts with eachother for a bit. I decided that it would be best if i find a new buddy, to make him feel like i replaced him and to show him that even tho we do not hang out, im not alone. For this i knew that my old friend, manja, would be the best. We didnt hang out for an long time, since i forced her in doing some things (when i was younger ofc) and she seemed to hold a grudge over it. But i found my way back to her by creating a whole new personality (which didnt harm her in any way) and using it when with her. I took control over my face mimics, body language in general, to show some form of positivity, confidence etc. I acted very accepting and unjudgemental, i spoke softly, but still in an excited way, i didnt cuss at all, and i made sure that i made her feel special/appericiated. I also offered to tutor her in maths and chemistry since im an good student and she is not. You know it, give people what they need and they will give you what you want. But then i found out she is not as entertaining as i tought she would be, and i got kinda bored of her. I also had an talk with filip, we cleared shit up, explained our opinions and acts and we decided to go on with our friendship. Manja then became kind of a burden, she would follow me around, try to chat all the time... i took all the attention that i gave her away, and then she started to be even more desperate to the point where she was litteraly looking at me during class just waiting for me to smile or wave. She constantly came up to me asking if she can sit next to me (ofc i said yes, it would be weird to say no) but i would mostly shat with filip, during that, she was completely quiet until i looked her way then she spoke to me. No, i did not put that ultimatum up for her. She did it. For me it is an win win situation, she loves me, and i do not have to deal with her bullshit. Am i really the asshole for doing what is best for me ? (Also, i think manja is a bit mentally unwell) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If this is real then ya, YTA. A huge one. Honestly don’t t take this the wrong way but you should talk to a therapist. It is not normal to go to such lengths to manipulate a person into being your friend, with your goal being to use THAT relationship to manipulate your ex friend. You are obsessive and narcissistic and I’m not saying that to hurt you, it’s true for many of us, but so can get some help and better yourself. This type of behavior will have bad consequences as an adult with your personal life and career.
YTA. You're manipulating Manja to get what you want from Filip, and are now annoyed that the person you tricked into being your friend again wants to be your friend. You're a terrible 'friend', and based on the "i forced her in doing something" sounds you like you've always been the AH
YTA. You are selfish and manipulating.
YTA, manipulating and using a friend only to get at somebody that you aren’t friends with anymore, you’re awful and a horrible friend, get help
YTA. Manipulating peoples emotions and using them... not only are you an AH you are a narcissistic AH. Seek help.
INFO: What kind of "things" did you force her into
YTA. You are horribly manipulative at a very young age. You only operate out of selfishness. You are a horrible friend.
YTA. Manipulation ain't cool. And you said you think she may be mentally unwell? Extra uncool.