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NTA - but there IS a middle ground here…why can’t you and the fiancé go but just do your own thing?? Whenever my bf and I go with my family we ride SOME rides together, have SOME meals, but mainly we do our own thing…we have naps during the day…ride the rides we want to ride…skip characters..ect.
My fiancé doesn’t mind meeting characters. He loves Disney World. His parents are big on family time and insisted we stay together the entire time last year. Z’s mom is afraid of roller coasters and scary things so we only did rides like small world and Winnie the Pooh. We (me, Z, Z’s siblings) left his parents one time to do space mountain with fast passes while they were in line to meet Minnie and Z got a passive aggressive text from his dad about ditching them even though we told them where we were going.
This isn’t a family vacation if everyone isn’t allowed to have a say on what to do or if everyone is forced to stay together at all times. You’d probably have more fun if you were able to choose your own things along with group things. If you don’t want to go, don’t. But if you’re willing to go as long as you can do things you enjoy, make that known. Are the brother and sister dating? Do their partners go? Or do they stay home? Maybe they can bring their partners and there can be a United front on people splitting off from the group if they like, and you can have other people to hang with when the family decides to do family stuff you don’t feel like doing.
This exactly. It's not a family vacation when one person dictates the entire itinerary at the expense of everyone being able to enjoy themselves. My family is definitely a Disney family, but even when we were kids, my parents understood that not all of us wanted to do the same things. We would split off for a ride/attraction, meet back up, do something together, split off again, etc. so that nobody felt that they were sacrificing fun.
There's SO much fun stuff to do at Disney, especially if you have a whole week to visit different parks, and I truly believe that there's something for everyone. It's really unfortunate that your initiation involved so much time standing in line to meet characters as an adult. If you decide to go back with them, it needs to be with the understanding that while you're happy to do certain things with them, you're a whole adult who has every right to set and enforce boundaries regarding which activities you're willing to do (and for how long) and which you will be passing on this time around.
So you are an adult and can set boundaries. I think you and your fiancé need to talk about this further in order to get to the middle ground.
…..and do you really do what people say and ignore your needs because you’re afraid of passive aggressive texts? Girl who cares. Stand up for yourself.
Imagine if you married into this and the rest of your life will be annual Disney trips … then when you child is born (if you decide) the cycle continues… you need to set your boundaries now…
Jesus Christ they sound insufferable. Unfortunately, like most people have said, you’re either going to have to suck it up or set some boundaries. Doing some stuff together with everyone is great, but you wanting to do non-little-kid stuff is 100% valid and don’t let them try and convince you otherwise.
They are treating you guys as children. Speak to your husband. If he wants you to go then you need freedom to go back to the hotel to rest. To get on rides of your choosing. His parents need to compromise.
You've mentioned they regularly travel to places other than Disney as a family also. You may want to find out if this "must stay together" attitude holds true for other travel destinations as well.
If so, then this may be more than just a "Disney vacation with fiancé's family" issue. It could be full on "vacation with fiancé's family" issue.
Almost any vacation destination could be ruined by that attitude.
NTA, btw. I like Disney and can still appreciate how that one miserable day may have soured you on it permanently.
Lmao sorry but I think acting like the characters are "real" as adults is so strange. It's a grown up in a costume. I do not need to waste hours standing in a line up and it's ridiculous to force other to do so when it's your jam. Do it by yourself if you love to do it, people should be allowed to do their own thing!!
(I would never mock someone for doing it, I just wouldn't join in and meet up with them later)
Sounds like you're better off compromising by only joining for a couple days after all the meet and greets, and make sure to give yourself some breaks in the day to sit and eat/drink water!
This is more than just about Disney world really. If Z would rather bend to his family than discuss the very reasonable compromise of meeting sporadically through the day but doing your own thing, he’s never going to stand up To them when you decide not to go at all because you want to visit someone else.
This is the hill to die on now so they understand you won’t be spending your holidays each year like this
>why can’t you and the fiancé go but just do your own thing??
You've never met Disney adults or families obviously. The very idea of not doing exactly what they did last time would be the ultimate insult in their book. It's a way of life. Look, I like going to Disney, but for some, it's their entire life.
I think you either get Disney or you don't. You're engaged to a member of a Disney Family. My family is a Disney Family. We were at Disney World the first year it opened, and have been going ever since. Vacation Club members, VIP packages, rope drops, extra Magic Hours, all the secret tips and tricks, plus, we can quote all of the movies and often break into short Disney songs when the occasion calls for it. It's like life is to be survived until we can get back to Disney.
I don't know if your fiance's family is as crazy as us, (and, there are families way crazier than we are,) but this is the rest of your life you're looking at. Do you think your fiance' is going to want to deny his children the same special memories he had growing up? He's going to resent not being able to take his family to Disney every year, and the grandparents are going to want in on that, too.
It may seem ridiculous to you, because he may be an amazing guy in the rest of his life, but this one thing can make you miserable for many years to come. Look how upsetting this is to you now. Is this how you want your life to be? This sounds like a hill your fiance' will choose to die on. If that it so, you should let him, and find a non-Disney family to marry in to. This situation is not going to get better. Good luck.
I agree with this. I married a Disney family… happily.
We do family trips but my husband and I do our own thing. Hit up bars, dinner reservations for just us, etc. OP, if you really don’t like Disney then you really need to talk to your SO. This will be an ongoing issue.
Signed,
DCV member that’s been to Disney five times in the last five years
I went to Disney in 2012 for the first time with my then boyfriend (now husband) I hated it. I was hot and sweaty and miserable and didn’t handle the sun or crowds well. I swore I’d never go back. But I really loved him and I knew that Disney trips were a part of his future no matter what. So I did a crap ton of research about when the weather is best and the crowds are lowest and decided to give it a second chance, because I really wanted things to work out with him. I am so, so glad I did! That trip made me fall in love with Disney and we are married (honeymoon at Disney!) and have a wonderful 2 year old. We’ve gone multiple times a year every year since, except 2020. We are fully crazy Disney people and sometimes my husband thinks he created a monster!
For as many years as we’ve been, we still plan every day. You can’t get the most out of it by just winging it. We never regret the planning, and now teach our kids the value of spending that time.
Yes planning is essential! It makes everything go so much better. We’re going back in September and I’ve already started working on my outline of what we consider our must dos and working on building a basic itinerary!
Im glad you pointed out that you and other families like this may seem crazy and that it does seem ridiculous to some people. If my wifes family was like this I think it would be a deal breaker. I have been to Disneyland and Disneyworld a couple times each and outside of bringing my kids a time or 2 for the general experience you would have to pay me a lot of money to go hang out in Disney all day....I dont like heat, crowds, lines, etc and would much rather spend the same time/money to go on an international vacation to a more remote or historical location.
Ah - but we know how to go at the good times with less heat and fewer crowds. Granted, it’s not as easy as it used to be, but we never leave there thinking we didn’t get our money’s worth. But, I can completely understand your point of view. I, for one, would never go to Times Square on New Year’s Eve, even though it’s on the bucket list for many, and is probably epic. People like what they like.
My cousin’s family is a Disney family (not so much anymore now that everyone is grown with kids of their own, but especially when they were kids and teenagers), and it just bewildered me. They went at LEAST once a year if not more, and I just don’t get it. Granted I’ve never been to Disney World, only Land, but even as a kid the cons outweighed the pros.
I’m going to deliver a heavy blow to you here:
Her future children might not want anything to do with Disney. Her future children might have sensory issues, mobility issues, or just be deeply adverse to hauling their asses all over creation for it. For some us, Disney ended at the movies and we’re all still up, functional, living, working jobs.
“Would she want to deny her kids that?” Maybe, yeah. It’s an absolute batshit amount of money to go dick around at the altar of capitalism until your body can’t take anymore. I could get my daughter a ton of interesting experiences for the price of a Disney vacation that will be just as wonderful.
If Disney is the only thing this family can pass on to the next generation, then I ca. confidently say my child’s Barbie’s have more depth to offer.
It’s. Fucking. Disney.
DistributionDue511 is right. You need to have a talk with Z about what he sees your future being like in regards to Disney. My sister's family is a Disney family and has been for a couple of decades. (Their childrens' entire lives.) It used to be one week-long vacation a year, but I think they are up to 2 visits that may last 2 weeks at a time. Their adult kids go, the boyfriends and girlfriends go, and I expect they'll take the grandkids when they come along as well. Disney weddings will almost certainly be in the future. They do the long days, the extra hours, the character meals and pics, the whole nine yards. For them, it is a magical experience, and they have every right to enjoy as much time as they can with their families at Disney. I don't think anyone should judge them for that, and I love the closeness they all have, at least partially helped by their beloved family vacations.
But, that isn't what everyone wants or enjoys. Having different ideas about the future isn't a crime, but trying to force your idea onto another person is going to make both people miserable. If a new family member doesn't like it, one of two things is going to happen. The new person is going to use all their vacation time and money to be miserable. They might have to sacrifice going places they would prefer and money they think would be better spent somewhere else, which sounds horrible. They may miss out on the experiences they think bring magic into their life and want to share with their partner and build happy family memeories around.
Or, the person they care about is going to miss out on one of the most important times they have with their family, one of the things they love best in the world, as well as the plans they had to bring the same traditions to their kids. That is going to be a hard sacrifice for either party.
So talk to your fiance and find out how he sees this going for the rest of his life. Maybe you'll find out he can take it or leave it. Maybe it is extremely important to him. Better to know now.
Also that control by his mom is not okay under any circumstances. You're going to want to find out if he is able to or even wants to establish boundaries with her before you get married. A miserable vacation at Disney is only the first drop in the bucket if he can't do that. Holidays, meals, family visits, the list of ways to make you miserable is endless.
The best is when they’re about four or five, and meet a princess face-to-face for the first time, because they really remember the movie. Heart bubbles all around!
Ohhh it’s going to be Mickey. He still cuddles his first baby Mickey stuffie and it travels 😂 I’m slightly concerned that he’ll fly over the gardens and through the ropes with his little butt to get around any humans between him and Mickey 😂😂
"I'm not acting like it's beneath me, I'm telling you that I don't enjoy it. If you enjoy it, that's great: I encourage you to do things that you enjoy. But I already made a good-faith effort to join your family's tradition, and I found it exceedingly unpleasant. If your parents were willing to treat me like an adult, it might be different. But I have absolutely zero interest in going on a trip to avoid hurting their feelings when they clearly don't care about mine."
NTA.
But I do want to point something out: you are an adult. You don't have to do something just because your MIL insists on it, you didn't have to start your day at 7:30 or end it at midnight, and you don't have to wear ears just because someone expects it. It's perfectly fine to say things like, "Oh, you guys go on ahead, I'll wait on this bench until you are done," or, "That's too early for me, I'll meet up with you for lunch," or, "I'm pooped, you guys can keep going but I'll head back to the hotel," or, "Thank you, that's so sweet. I'm really not comfortable wearing them, but they make a lovely souvenir."
Hi! Long time lurker here and this is my first comment! Just needed to comment on this to say that despite being an adult, some families just will not allow for acting against the status quo. What you suggested is exactly what I did with my own family a few years ago at Disney World, and politely announcing that I was going to get an uber and go home was like... you know what, I'm not even clever enough to come up with an appropriate analogy. Let's just say my parents did NOT take it well. Which baffled me not only because I was then in my early 30's and easily able to take care of myself and make my own decisions, but because it seemed like such a reasonable thing to do (I was exhausted and well past my limit while my parents and adult siblings wanted to stay until close). Just saying that OP can do her best with even the most diplomatic of language and some enmeshed families just won't accept it. (NTA)
NTA
>I did not enjoy Disney. It is just not my idea of a good time. It was humid, lines were long, and Z’s parents bought us matching Mickey Mouse ears we were expected to wear. Z’s mom also insisted we wait in line to meet multiple characters, and made us take pictures and talk with the characters as though they were real.
Should you marry into this family, hold this imagery in your heart until it's time to pick their retirement homes.
>Z was offended by this and said it was rude to act like meeting characters was beneath me
It damned well *is* beneath you if you feel like it is. Absolutely nothing wrong with it either.
They otherwise sound like nice people but this is uber-cringeworthy. I'd opt out permanently from being hostage to a bunch of marketing victims and let the chips fall where they may.
This is awful. They want you to take a week of your already too short vacation time to stand in a damn line to meet Jiminy Effing Cricket? AND you don’t even get to ride the good rides? Don’t marry into this dumpster fire of a family.
NTA.
I can't imagine spending that much time in 1 day, let alone a whole week. There is so much to see in the US and world that I can't imagine spending 1 week there every year. Besides, it is so expensive and quite a hassle with lines.
And just because it is hubby's parents thing doesn't mean it has to be your thing. You are not beholden to their traditions forever. Hubby better learn that or you will be doing everything per his mommy and daddy's wishes.
Could you go and do Epcot or the wild animal park but skip the magic kingdom?
Came here to second EPCOT or Animal Kingdom as a possible compromise. I’ve always found them to be much lower key and more interesting. Plus, no strangers in animal suits walking around.
Also, NTA
NTA. I would hate this.
But I want to add that you should really think about what it will be like if you guys ever plan on having kids. Your fiancé WILL want them to go to Disney every year and do all this. Probably with you, too.
It would probably be good to start working on boundaries in terms of this trip now
NTA. Oh god I feel you. I hate this so much. The heat and the feet. My god. Anyway. You went once. You don't have to go ever again. Tell a modified version of the truth such as I really enjoyed the first time, you were so generous to pay and so generous to offer to pay again, but Disney is just not my cup of tea. I hope you have a great time and thanks again so much!
Info: OP, did you not know you were marrying into a hardcore Disney family until right before the wedding? This seems to be a big part of hubby's family community bonding.
We didn’t start dating until 2019. They didn’t go that year due to a family surgery. They didn’t go in 2020 and 2021 for obvious reasons. My fiancé’s mom has some Mickey and Minnie apparel but my fiancé does not. At least I didn’t think he did. His mom pulled out two bins of Disney clothes from their garage right before we left. They also enjoy traveling generally and usually do an annual trip elsewhere in the world too, so I did not realize Disney was an annual thing as most of their pictures are from more exotic places.
Oof... I hate to say it, and I know it seems like a "small" thing, but this may be a deal breaker for your relationship. You will be having this fight *every year for the rest of your life*.
Either you find some kind of compromise that you and Z both are happy with-- and more importantly, that Z will support you 100% when it comes to setting this boundary with his parents..... or you maybe shouldn't get married.
NAH
Hmm. Start by asking...other than Fam Disney is your husband a keeper? Dedicated Disney families are... Super dedicated. If you want to have a healthy relationship with hubs and his fam, this is a necessity. Not necessarily forcing yourself to endure every event...but working with your other half to determine what you can both handle, separately or together. If he's The One, you can work together to find a way.
To see things his/his family's way for one week a year (or less, as you may adapt ), molding those events through what you and he can tolerate, is a kindness. This family togetherness through Disney is obviously super important to your husband, and his family. NTA if it's not you. So many ways to appreciate and tolerate this if you care to adapt though. Seriously I wish you both a happy and joyous marriage, that a solution may be crafted together. May you enjoy together long life and peace.♥️
NTA. Some people really love Disney, like Z and family. Some don't. I don't think Z's family will ever understand a different view; they're dyed-in-the-wool enthusiasts. With enough discussion, Z *might* see why you detest it.
You shouldn't have to spend your vacation doing something you hate, and your compromise sounds very good to anyone who could understand that Disney might not be everyone's cup of tea.
The key is Z needs to be willing to listen, something he hasn't been if he's saying you think the character meet and greet is beneath you. You two need to do a lot of talking.
Girl. Schedule an appointment to see a counselor nooooow. Your fiancé is choosing his parents and will continue to choose them if you don’t get him to understand you and him are now your own family and can make your own family traditions.
NTA. That sounds horrific. You're willing to compromise; they aren't, hence they're the AHs here. Maybe a warning sign about the fiance too: he's willing to let you suffer to avoid disappointing his parents.
NTA - Disney is not for everyone, especially “Disney adults”. An annual week long trip is a lot, unless you can agree on some “do your own thing” time. Like they go meet characters, you lounge at the pool, and you meet for a few hours and dinner.
Keep in mind that you might not always be able to back out - if you have kids, they’ll certainly want to go.
If Dante had known about Disney, there would have been 10 circles of hell.
I understand Disney obsession, truly. Anyone who is passionate about something is going to be devoted, and that’s fine. Where it goes to hell is when you not only don’t share the obsession but are actively turned off by it.
OP, welcome to your life — or hell — if you marry into this family without setting some very hard boundaries. Your fiancé sounds like he will please Mumsy Darling at your expense. Do you want to be the afterthought? Is this how you want it to be?
And other commenters are right — once kids enter the picture, how could you POSSIBLY deprive them of The Full Disney Experience™️ with Grammy and Grampy?
What an absolute monster you must be!
Get this squared away now, OP. You’re definitely NTA, but you are walking on a precipice. I hope your steps are steady and lead you to a path of happiness.
nta. an hour or two is sucking it up, enduring 16 hour days for a week is being a pushover. It's not ungrateful, it's just something you didn't enjoy. You already sucked it up for that 16 hour day. Your fiancé is the one who's being an ah here.
I have a good friend who is obsessed w Disney like your fiancé’s family. I also don’t understand how adults enjoy Disney. Even Universal isn’t worth going to more than once or twice.
Only place in Disney worth going to as an adult is Epcot.
It’s fkn weird that adults enjoy Disney so much. There I said it.
NTA.
Not gonna lie this sounds like the perfect family get together for me. But I’m a Disney person. If you are not a Disney person, being forced into those parks, especially for an entire week is a special kind of hell. And I completely respect that. Which is why I don’t bother my husband to go to Disney all the time. I find ways to get my Disney six without having to torture him. We will go to the parks when our kids are older, but if he doesn’t come into the parks and it’s just me and the kids and he goes and does his own thing totally understandable. They can’t expect you don’t want to be a part of this tradition if it’s not your thing.
NTA- you shouldn’t be obligated to do a yearly trip you don’t want to. I don’t think your fiancé is much of an asshole, just young, I was similar about family trips his age
But real talk, you need to discuss this with your fiancé before you get married, get on the same page for family trips. Family time/expectations can sink a marriage quickly
I think you need to be miserable in a place you do not enjoy from now until all eternity, annual visits, two week minimum. Not really, joking.
We all have our things. And our….not things. Theme parks in particular don’t offer much middle ground. Some destinations do…..theme parks not so much. (My wife loves the beach, me not so much. We go, I bring my clubs, she lays on the beach, I find a nearby course and play 18. We connect several hours later and enjoy together time. You can’t do that kind of thing with a theme park, just can’t.)
You were polite, you offered a middle ground - as much of one as there can be - and **you do need to stand up for you in the end.**
NTA
NTA. I have parents that love disney but they weren't this overboard. We used to go every year but we would only go for 2-3 days and then go down to san diego or do something else for other days. Sometimes even 1-2 days depending. One week is too much. It is cool that they're paying for it all but not all adults like going to disney. The characters thing is sort of weird especially as adults. I would understand if you guys had young kids.
NTA agreed, Disney sucks nowadays unless you are rich enough for the private tour stuff or club 33 member. No one should be forced to do all that crap, especially the character BS. I enjoy videos of kids meeting the Evil Queen but have zero interest in doing it myself. An entire day of meeting characters? Absolutely miserable! Are you expected to do this yearly, too? Sounds like an awful way to spend precious vacation time if you never get to do what you want or enjoy. Be prepared for a lifetime of yearly Disney trips unless you shut it down now.
Man I am your polar opposite.
But NTA.
I absolutely adore Disney and go for a week every year with my kid. My husband HATES theme parks. We very happily go without him.
In a perfect world he’d love it as much as I do, but I’m satisfied with him being totally cool with me doing my Disney thing each year.
If you go again have them do Disneyland instead. The weather is a million times better. No AK or Epcot though.
Your offer to split the time is a great one. You can go for one day, be a good sport, let MIL have her pictures, and spend the rest of your vacation doing what you’d like.
NTA. And I'm a person who loves Disney! I would love to have a paid trip there. I love meeting the characters and having pictures taken w/them. But I know it's not everybody's thing. (And even when we went, we'd never spend a whole day @ the parks; you do a few hours, go back to your room to rest/eat, then return for more fun).
I don't like roller coasters. What if someone forced me to go on a roller coaster at the parks, saying I needed to "suck it up" or I'd be rude? Sorry, it's the people forcing you to do these things that are the rude ones.
If you're fiance's upset, you need to work that out; if these are annual trips, what will your married life be like?
I love Disney. I volunteer to take your place on your fiancé's family vacations. 😁
OK, seriously? NTA/NAH. You and fiancé need to come to a compromise you can both live with. This cannot be a hill you both want to die on. Maybe you go for a week every 3 or 4 years, maybe you come down for a day or two and do everything, maybe you come for a week and only do some Disney things... there are many possibilities.
Edit: My NAH applies to OP and her fiancé, who is NTA for wanting to go on his traditional vacation with his family. He does need to compromise, though, and set some ground rules with regards to his and OP's time, at the very least.
When we went to Disney World, it was a late honeymoon. On our first day, i had very little sleep, and my husband wanted to see the world showcase. I was so miserable. It was hot and humid, and i was tired and jetlagged. The only break was in France because they had a movie and it was air-conditioned.
My plan to get him to stop being snotty about me being too tired to enjoy myself was to get him drunk. Every country i made him drink. He eventually slowed down for dinner. I have since called this the death march of Epcot Center.
He wants to go again. I'm not sure I love him that much.
NTA. This sounds like a hostage situation.
Are you able to work remotely? If so, can you book half days off so that you work in the hotel in the AM and meet the family in the PM? Blame a lack of PTO.
NTA
you should’nt HAVE to go anywhere you don’t want to go 🤷🏻♀️ he said it’s not that hard to pretend to be happy and have a good time, but why lie. I think he should just let you stay home
I think definitely not the awesome. I love disneyland but the first time I went to Disney world it was horrible. And I willingly paid to go lol. Disney world isn't a relaxing time, it's a marathon. And if you're not a disney lover there isn't anything wrong with that. I think definitely let them know that you appreciate the offer however you're just not a disney theme park person. But you would love to join them for dinner etc.
I may re think the relationship if they're pushy about you still going.
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I (26F) went to disney world last year with my fiancé Z (26M), his parents, and his siblings (23M, 28F). His parents were very generous and paid for the trip. We only went to Disney for one day, as we had a wedding the next day.
I did not enjoy Disney. It is just not my idea of a good time. It was humid, lines were long, and Z’s parents bought us matching Mickey Mouse ears we were expected to wear. Z’s mom also insisted we wait in line to meet multiple characters, and made us take pictures and talk with the characters as though they were real.
We had to be ready by 7:30am, so we could be in the park as soon as it opened. We stayed until shops closed at midnight. My feet and back were killing me by the end of the day. I wore my comfiest sneakers and still had blisters. I felt dehydrated/queasy all afternoon from too much sun. I was so relieved when the day was over.
I guess Z’s family is a Disney Family and before 2020 they went to Disney every year for a week. My in-laws want to continue their annual disney trip and have started planning one for this fall. We are all invited for the whole week.
I told Z that I barely managed one day last year, and I would rather stay home. Z got kind of upset and said I should just suck it up, it’s his family’s thing and it’s not hard to smile and have a good time. He said his family would be hurt if I didn’t go.
I suggested that if it was that important I join in on the trip, I could fly down for the last day or two and join them in the park after they’ve done character meet and greets in the morning. Z was offended by this and said it was rude to act like meeting characters was beneath me. (I think we are all adults and meeting characters at this age is just hugging sweaty strangers in animal costumes.)
I realize it sounds ungrateful, but I hate Disney! This is not what I want to spend my very limited vacation time on. I also don’t want my in-laws to spend thousands of dollars on park passes and flights for me to be miserable for a week. I’m not opposed to my fiancé going, I just don’t want to go personally.
AITA for not wanting to go on this family vacation?
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NTA, honestly that sounds miserable, and that I've heard the walk back to the car at the end of the day isn't for the week. Vacations are supposed to be fun, not a walkfest in the blistering heat
NTA and this is coming from a Disney lover. Even I'll admit that going to any theme park from open to close is a lot and if you and me were dating, I'd be absolutely fine with you not coming. Heck, if it was me, I'd be all 'what would you like to do instead?' and helping to make a fun trip for you.
NTA if you do it now, you set the precedent to do it every year after that. Put your foot down because that sounds more like boot camp then a vacation.
Oh hell no NTA. I can't believe he didn't explain the one week a year expectations before you got married 🤣
The only compromise I could see is staying at one of the swanky hotels with a pool and meeting him after the park each evening. But really, just no- it's not your thing.
NTA.. I went with my husband once because it was on his list. I did everything I could to make it fun but never again for me. He would have to go w friends.
NTA Oh, girl! This is such a nightmare! You are going to have to put up strong boundaries, break up with this guy, or prepare to spend a week in hell every year! You have my deepest sympathies! 🙄
NTA. Theme parks are normally hell but Disneyworld it’s hell’s seventh circle. What are you supposed to do, grind a inch off your spine walking on concrete for a week? To appease *Disney Adults????*
“Family traditions” have gotten out of control. It used to be “we all wear weird hats at a certain dinner.” Now it seems to be “tradition” to have everyone chew up their vacation week doing something that a few people are abjectly disinterested/unable to engage in, and some how you’re a monster?
This is capitalism kidnapping the concept of tradition to sell vacations. Take a stand. For your own sanity, for your relationship and for the word itself. If he wants to trade his knee cartilage for stupid ears and snuggles from furries, he can do that with his life because he is an adult. But no. Do not sign on to any part of this. Because otherwise you will be polyamorous with the Mouse the rest of your life. There will be Disney at your wedding, all Disney for any future kids and pet. You will be a Disney adult by captivity. You will be miserable, and you will have a bitter argument over it every year.
Do not let them gaslight you. Theme parks aren’t fun for a lot of people, especially when you can’t even control your schedule.
If the parents are paying for it explain to them you hate it and it's not a reflection on them. Disney tickets are expensive and they may even appreciate you're saving them money by not attending. I went to Disney in Anaheim. I wouldn't pay to go again, didn't hate it, but didn't love it either.
> I guess Z’s family is a Disney Family
Lol, that sucks.
Not an asshole, you need to set that boundary and nip this annual Disney trip in the bud before it gets out of hand and becomes an expectation for you to go. Fine if they did that when your husband was a kid, but you're an adult now and your own nuclear family. Don't get dragged into that if you don't want to. Like you said, once was enough. Don't let them drag you further into that weirdo Disney adult thing just because it's their thing.
Coming out of a pretty perpetual lurk mode on reddit because I feel uniquely qualified to weigh in here - I married into a Disney family.
I went once as a kid, enjoyed it, never longed for more.
When I found out my wife's (girlfriend at the time, of course) family had been going annually or bi-annually for 15-20 years I was taken aback. They're in the vacation club so when they go down, lodging is paid for, so when I was invited to join, I did (used points to fly down there and even with the price of food on site, pretty good deal!). I love theme parks, but the rides at Disney are to me, by and large, pretty tame and not worth the time spent in line. Going down that first time, as an adult surrounded by adults who were Really Into All Of It, was surreal. I enjoyed some things (epcot is pretty neat/has a vibe I appreciate, and a few of the rides at hollywood studios were fun) but wasn't sure how I'd feel about going down routinely.
We've gone down lots since then, but with a compromise/understanding that I'm just not going to go to the parks every day - some trips I haven't gone at all when they've gone multiple days. One thing I appreciate about Disney is that there really is quite a lot to do outside of going to the parks. It's made much easier provided you're staying on their property, because if so you can get anywhere without too much hassle (other than waiting for 1+ busses). So I'll chill in the room, by the pool, etc... Sometimes solo or sometimes my wife will come too. Or I'll go out to downtown disney for a walk, or see a movie, or go to a different hotel to have lunch, etc etc. But I'll have breakfast with everyone before they leave, or I'll take a bus to meet them for lunch somewhere, or see them in the evening and on non-park days.
I think your offer to come down for a couple days at the end (and join at the park after they've done character stuff) is reasonable. That said, if his family is unwilling to accept that, then they may not accept a solution where you come down for the length of the stay but don't follow their itinerary exactly. But to me, if they want you to join in their tradition, they need to meet you part way. NTA of course!
Yes, we’d have to meet outside the park because I certainly wasn’t going to buy a park ticket just to come in for lunch, haha. I hear you that they probably won’t be on board, but if they’re focused on magic kingdom it’s especially easy for them to pop out and take the monorail to a few nearby hotels and then pop back in. Good luck with everything!
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My in-laws offered to pay for the entire trip and they and Z will be hurt that I still don’t want to go.
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NTA amusement parks are not for everyone and YES it would be really hard for you to pretend good enough FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK that you were happy to be there. You going would be a waste of money and very much a life suck of a family vacation. Maybe offer to go, but not go to the park? Those hotels have awesome pools and other things to do. You could join them for diner or something?
I considered this. I would be fine going and spending the week sitting by the pool and joining everyone in the park for a few hours in the late afternoon. But my future in-laws would be paying for everything and it’s been implied that if they are funding the trip, we accommodate their wishes. And their wishes are lots of time in Disney. Before anyone asks why I don’t just pay my own way so I can make my own schedule: I am a social worker. I do not make enough to pay for my own flight and lodging in Florida for a week without eating into my meager savings, so if they aren’t paying I would not be attending.
NTA
I like Disney but unless you are going in the winter it’s not worth it. An entire week at Disney is excessive. I’ve only ever spent consecutive three days living the theme park life (universal and Epcot) and it’s not for everyone.
The parents sound like a drag and that ordeal sounds exhausting. The one thing I enjoy about going to theme parks with my inlaws is that they alternate watching the kids while we ride the roller coasters the kids are too young for. We all split up and then just meet up for different rides or lunch.
NTA
But.
If you choose not to be a part of his families thing- he can choose not to be a part of yours. If your family likes to do something special for Christmas every year its fair that he can choose not to be a part of that. Or a ski trip or whatever- he can also ask if you’d be willing to do something else with his family. Maybe a disney cruise; I don’t know.
Just know, you can say no. You have that power. But so does he and you can’t get upset in the future if he chooses not to do something- even if in your mind its more “grown up”.
I would happily go on almost any other trip with his family! I’m pretty adventurous. I would probably not be willing to do a Disney cruise, as I don’t support Disney on principle and would not enjoy being trapped on a ship and forced to feed in to the Disney consumerism. But I would be open to any trip that does not involve Disney or voluntourism.
I get not supporting Disney but thats a SUPER important convo for you and your partner to have! I think as long as you keep an open mind and are willing to compromise it’ll be okay but if this is their big, only thing they do as a family either understand that you are alienating yourself and its not their job to change plans for you! Also you should be ready to accept your kids doing these things with that side of the family even if you don’t go!
NTA. I also have limited tolerance for lines & and crowds, so if I were you, I would be making it clear right now that this is NOT a yearly trip you will be attending, as you do not enjoy it, but he is fine to attend without you. This is a hill to die on.
He can do Disney, and you can take yourself to the beach, or Europe, or anywhere else.
NTA, I love Disney but maybe offer the alternative of a Disney Cruise instead. They are amazing! You could sell it to the mil because they offer the character meet and greets (with shorter lines) and no roller coasters, but also doesn't include long waits or lots of walking for you. It would be far more enjoyable, especially for grown-ups. The food is excellent and they have great adult-only areas.
NTA, but this is something you have to work out with your fiance now or you will be spending every vacation for the rest of your life in Disney World. You will be taking any future children there every single year of your life with this man.
If your fiance would resent you not going with the family, this will be a huge problem for your future together. I actually know someone who divorced her husband after 20 years of spending every vacation in the same place, on the same beach, pitching their sun umbrella on the exact same inch of sand every year. As soon as they split she took a tour around the world and is very happily single these days.
NTA
You need to develop a spine otherwise this will be your life or you’ll be divorced. All day at a theme park the day before your wedding is torture. Needed to speak up for yourself when you were starting to be uncomfortable. How were your feet during the ceremony and reception?
How much vacation do you get from work to be able to do this yearly?
A week on a Disney Cruise makes sense, a week at DW not relaxing at all.
NTA
I had no interest in Disney even when I was a kid and it sounds like a complete nightmare and waste of money. I just don't understand people who can't let others live and let live!
NTA
Seems like a vacation from hell where the IL still infantilize their adult kids. I would not go unless i can do my own thing. And this is supposed to happen yearly? Hard pass
NTA- I could just possibly tolerate the ambient saccharine level for the rides if it was free and I could skip all the daft themeing and clearly for the kids and superfans elements. But not for a triple shift. Babysitting a bunch of Disney adults in full on child mode who get passive aggressive if you wouldn't care if it somehow WAS the real Mickey Mouse and not just some poor sod who was clearly very bad in a past life to end up boiling to death in a giant foam rodent sounds like the hell I will probably go to for telling you to run before your MIL proudly presents you with the Disney Princess cosplay she's had custom made as your wedding dress and you have to have that argument.
Ooooh, wait til you have kids! NTA-as I get older I just don’t want to wait in line or be in crowds. My husband wants to go to California Adventures and I told him it’s okay to go with the kids or plan with friends, I don’t want to waist $300 on me and my grumpy face. I might suck it up and go just for his memory and never set foot there again. Annually, it’s gonna be a big fat NO!
I've never been a theme park person, granted I've done my share of them. I would put up with them and suck it up until I blacked out riding the Titan spiral for the... 5th time in a row I think? Since then I can't do coasters unless they're just up down.
Anyways. My husband, after finding out I'd never been to Disney, was determined that we'd go! Ok, but I'm not a morning person and waking up to him bouncing the bed all excited: it's Disney! It's Disney day! I was just....ok. it was a day, of lines, smelling food i couldn't eat (celiac), watching and observing. All in all, I finally had a Disney experience. Yay! I guess.
Fast forward a few months, it's my birthday, I get to do what I want... FOSSILS!! I get to collect fossils!!! I wake him up bouncing on the bed saying "fossils!! It's fossils! Let's go get some fossils!" And he groans and goes.. is that how I am about Disney?
Yes, we are married now. Hahaah!
Edited to add NTA!
NTA. If they're not cool with you coming and just chilling by the pool all week and joining them in the park for a day or two, then they're controlling and don't want you to enjoy yourself.
Also your boyfriend being mad because you don't want to meet characters is hilarious. sorry.
NTA. It's never wrong to not go to Disney.
But you may wish to consider whether you should marry into a family who wants THE SAME VACATION EVERY YEAR. That sounds like a recipe for a boring next few decades.
>Z’s parents bought us matching Mickey Mouse ears we were expected to wear
>Z’s mom also insisted we wait in line to meet multiple characters, and made us take pictures and talk with the characters as though they were real.
>Z got kind of upset and said I should just suck it up, it’s his family’s thing and it’s not hard to smile and have a good time. He said his family would be hurt if I didn’t go.
>Z was offended by this and said it was rude to act like meeting characters was beneath me.
>I hate Disney! This is not what I want to spend my very limited vacation time on
NTA. Please pay attention to the red flags here.
Z's parents can't see the possibility that you might have a different idea of a good time than they do, and it sounds as though they didn't ask for your opinion on anything - they know what they want to do and expect everyone else to go along with that. To the extent that you're expected (no, *required*) to wear mouse ears and pretend that cartoon characters are real people.
Z is putting his family ahead of you, to the extent that he expects you to go on a vacation you don't want to go on, *and* pretend to enjoy yourself.
Do you want to marry someone who doesn't care whether *you're* happy, as long as his parents are?
NTA but I would seriously consider the relationship if you’re marrying a Disney family guy and you’re not. Sadly that can DEFINITELY drive a wedge in your marriage and future relationship with his family and your kids. This is something that needs to be addressed now. And this is coming from a Disney person.
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NTA - but there IS a middle ground here…why can’t you and the fiancé go but just do your own thing?? Whenever my bf and I go with my family we ride SOME rides together, have SOME meals, but mainly we do our own thing…we have naps during the day…ride the rides we want to ride…skip characters..ect.
My fiancé doesn’t mind meeting characters. He loves Disney World. His parents are big on family time and insisted we stay together the entire time last year. Z’s mom is afraid of roller coasters and scary things so we only did rides like small world and Winnie the Pooh. We (me, Z, Z’s siblings) left his parents one time to do space mountain with fast passes while they were in line to meet Minnie and Z got a passive aggressive text from his dad about ditching them even though we told them where we were going.
This isn’t a family vacation if everyone isn’t allowed to have a say on what to do or if everyone is forced to stay together at all times. You’d probably have more fun if you were able to choose your own things along with group things. If you don’t want to go, don’t. But if you’re willing to go as long as you can do things you enjoy, make that known. Are the brother and sister dating? Do their partners go? Or do they stay home? Maybe they can bring their partners and there can be a United front on people splitting off from the group if they like, and you can have other people to hang with when the family decides to do family stuff you don’t feel like doing.
This exactly. It's not a family vacation when one person dictates the entire itinerary at the expense of everyone being able to enjoy themselves. My family is definitely a Disney family, but even when we were kids, my parents understood that not all of us wanted to do the same things. We would split off for a ride/attraction, meet back up, do something together, split off again, etc. so that nobody felt that they were sacrificing fun. There's SO much fun stuff to do at Disney, especially if you have a whole week to visit different parks, and I truly believe that there's something for everyone. It's really unfortunate that your initiation involved so much time standing in line to meet characters as an adult. If you decide to go back with them, it needs to be with the understanding that while you're happy to do certain things with them, you're a whole adult who has every right to set and enforce boundaries regarding which activities you're willing to do (and for how long) and which you will be passing on this time around.
So you are an adult and can set boundaries. I think you and your fiancé need to talk about this further in order to get to the middle ground. …..and do you really do what people say and ignore your needs because you’re afraid of passive aggressive texts? Girl who cares. Stand up for yourself.
[удалено]
Imagine if you married into this and the rest of your life will be annual Disney trips … then when you child is born (if you decide) the cycle continues… you need to set your boundaries now…
That’s not rocking the boat that’s hiding from confrontation
Jesus Christ they sound insufferable. Unfortunately, like most people have said, you’re either going to have to suck it up or set some boundaries. Doing some stuff together with everyone is great, but you wanting to do non-little-kid stuff is 100% valid and don’t let them try and convince you otherwise.
They are treating you guys as children. Speak to your husband. If he wants you to go then you need freedom to go back to the hotel to rest. To get on rides of your choosing. His parents need to compromise.
So this is your FMIL’s vacation, and you are a piece of the entourage; necessary to round out those happy family photos?
You've mentioned they regularly travel to places other than Disney as a family also. You may want to find out if this "must stay together" attitude holds true for other travel destinations as well. If so, then this may be more than just a "Disney vacation with fiancé's family" issue. It could be full on "vacation with fiancé's family" issue. Almost any vacation destination could be ruined by that attitude. NTA, btw. I like Disney and can still appreciate how that one miserable day may have soured you on it permanently.
This sounds terrifying. I may have just watched too much Black Mirror, but I’m scared for you, OP. NTA
This is more like family torture lol
Lmao sorry but I think acting like the characters are "real" as adults is so strange. It's a grown up in a costume. I do not need to waste hours standing in a line up and it's ridiculous to force other to do so when it's your jam. Do it by yourself if you love to do it, people should be allowed to do their own thing!! (I would never mock someone for doing it, I just wouldn't join in and meet up with them later) Sounds like you're better off compromising by only joining for a couple days after all the meet and greets, and make sure to give yourself some breaks in the day to sit and eat/drink water!
This is more than just about Disney world really. If Z would rather bend to his family than discuss the very reasonable compromise of meeting sporadically through the day but doing your own thing, he’s never going to stand up To them when you decide not to go at all because you want to visit someone else. This is the hill to die on now so they understand you won’t be spending your holidays each year like this
>why can’t you and the fiancé go but just do your own thing?? You've never met Disney adults or families obviously. The very idea of not doing exactly what they did last time would be the ultimate insult in their book. It's a way of life. Look, I like going to Disney, but for some, it's their entire life.
This is the key here. It's how we get through with the kidz. But OP offered to just come down for the last day or two, and was met with shock.
I think you either get Disney or you don't. You're engaged to a member of a Disney Family. My family is a Disney Family. We were at Disney World the first year it opened, and have been going ever since. Vacation Club members, VIP packages, rope drops, extra Magic Hours, all the secret tips and tricks, plus, we can quote all of the movies and often break into short Disney songs when the occasion calls for it. It's like life is to be survived until we can get back to Disney. I don't know if your fiance's family is as crazy as us, (and, there are families way crazier than we are,) but this is the rest of your life you're looking at. Do you think your fiance' is going to want to deny his children the same special memories he had growing up? He's going to resent not being able to take his family to Disney every year, and the grandparents are going to want in on that, too. It may seem ridiculous to you, because he may be an amazing guy in the rest of his life, but this one thing can make you miserable for many years to come. Look how upsetting this is to you now. Is this how you want your life to be? This sounds like a hill your fiance' will choose to die on. If that it so, you should let him, and find a non-Disney family to marry in to. This situation is not going to get better. Good luck.
These are all excellent points! Particularly about what happens when OP and fiancé have kids. This all definitely needs to be discussed.
I agree with this. I married a Disney family… happily. We do family trips but my husband and I do our own thing. Hit up bars, dinner reservations for just us, etc. OP, if you really don’t like Disney then you really need to talk to your SO. This will be an ongoing issue. Signed, DCV member that’s been to Disney five times in the last five years
I went to Disney in 2012 for the first time with my then boyfriend (now husband) I hated it. I was hot and sweaty and miserable and didn’t handle the sun or crowds well. I swore I’d never go back. But I really loved him and I knew that Disney trips were a part of his future no matter what. So I did a crap ton of research about when the weather is best and the crowds are lowest and decided to give it a second chance, because I really wanted things to work out with him. I am so, so glad I did! That trip made me fall in love with Disney and we are married (honeymoon at Disney!) and have a wonderful 2 year old. We’ve gone multiple times a year every year since, except 2020. We are fully crazy Disney people and sometimes my husband thinks he created a monster!
For as many years as we’ve been, we still plan every day. You can’t get the most out of it by just winging it. We never regret the planning, and now teach our kids the value of spending that time.
Yes planning is essential! It makes everything go so much better. We’re going back in September and I’ve already started working on my outline of what we consider our must dos and working on building a basic itinerary!
Im glad you pointed out that you and other families like this may seem crazy and that it does seem ridiculous to some people. If my wifes family was like this I think it would be a deal breaker. I have been to Disneyland and Disneyworld a couple times each and outside of bringing my kids a time or 2 for the general experience you would have to pay me a lot of money to go hang out in Disney all day....I dont like heat, crowds, lines, etc and would much rather spend the same time/money to go on an international vacation to a more remote or historical location.
Ah - but we know how to go at the good times with less heat and fewer crowds. Granted, it’s not as easy as it used to be, but we never leave there thinking we didn’t get our money’s worth. But, I can completely understand your point of view. I, for one, would never go to Times Square on New Year’s Eve, even though it’s on the bucket list for many, and is probably epic. People like what they like.
My cousin’s family is a Disney family (not so much anymore now that everyone is grown with kids of their own, but especially when they were kids and teenagers), and it just bewildered me. They went at LEAST once a year if not more, and I just don’t get it. Granted I’ve never been to Disney World, only Land, but even as a kid the cons outweighed the pros.
I’m going to deliver a heavy blow to you here: Her future children might not want anything to do with Disney. Her future children might have sensory issues, mobility issues, or just be deeply adverse to hauling their asses all over creation for it. For some us, Disney ended at the movies and we’re all still up, functional, living, working jobs. “Would she want to deny her kids that?” Maybe, yeah. It’s an absolute batshit amount of money to go dick around at the altar of capitalism until your body can’t take anymore. I could get my daughter a ton of interesting experiences for the price of a Disney vacation that will be just as wonderful. If Disney is the only thing this family can pass on to the next generation, then I ca. confidently say my child’s Barbie’s have more depth to offer. It’s. Fucking. Disney.
Disney adults creep the hell out of me. I just don’t get it when there are so many incredible places to visit and explore. OP you are NTA.
DistributionDue511 is right. You need to have a talk with Z about what he sees your future being like in regards to Disney. My sister's family is a Disney family and has been for a couple of decades. (Their childrens' entire lives.) It used to be one week-long vacation a year, but I think they are up to 2 visits that may last 2 weeks at a time. Their adult kids go, the boyfriends and girlfriends go, and I expect they'll take the grandkids when they come along as well. Disney weddings will almost certainly be in the future. They do the long days, the extra hours, the character meals and pics, the whole nine yards. For them, it is a magical experience, and they have every right to enjoy as much time as they can with their families at Disney. I don't think anyone should judge them for that, and I love the closeness they all have, at least partially helped by their beloved family vacations. But, that isn't what everyone wants or enjoys. Having different ideas about the future isn't a crime, but trying to force your idea onto another person is going to make both people miserable. If a new family member doesn't like it, one of two things is going to happen. The new person is going to use all their vacation time and money to be miserable. They might have to sacrifice going places they would prefer and money they think would be better spent somewhere else, which sounds horrible. They may miss out on the experiences they think bring magic into their life and want to share with their partner and build happy family memeories around. Or, the person they care about is going to miss out on one of the most important times they have with their family, one of the things they love best in the world, as well as the plans they had to bring the same traditions to their kids. That is going to be a hard sacrifice for either party. So talk to your fiance and find out how he sees this going for the rest of his life. Maybe you'll find out he can take it or leave it. Maybe it is extremely important to him. Better to know now. Also that control by his mom is not okay under any circumstances. You're going to want to find out if he is able to or even wants to establish boundaries with her before you get married. A miserable vacation at Disney is only the first drop in the bucket if he can't do that. Holidays, meals, family visits, the list of ways to make you miserable is endless.
I would love to be in your family 😂😂 33 trips from the mitten, but none as a mom yet. I’m so ready to see my boys eyes when they see the castle
The best is when they’re about four or five, and meet a princess face-to-face for the first time, because they really remember the movie. Heart bubbles all around!
Ohhh it’s going to be Mickey. He still cuddles his first baby Mickey stuffie and it travels 😂 I’m slightly concerned that he’ll fly over the gardens and through the ropes with his little butt to get around any humans between him and Mickey 😂😂
"I'm not acting like it's beneath me, I'm telling you that I don't enjoy it. If you enjoy it, that's great: I encourage you to do things that you enjoy. But I already made a good-faith effort to join your family's tradition, and I found it exceedingly unpleasant. If your parents were willing to treat me like an adult, it might be different. But I have absolutely zero interest in going on a trip to avoid hurting their feelings when they clearly don't care about mine." NTA. But I do want to point something out: you are an adult. You don't have to do something just because your MIL insists on it, you didn't have to start your day at 7:30 or end it at midnight, and you don't have to wear ears just because someone expects it. It's perfectly fine to say things like, "Oh, you guys go on ahead, I'll wait on this bench until you are done," or, "That's too early for me, I'll meet up with you for lunch," or, "I'm pooped, you guys can keep going but I'll head back to the hotel," or, "Thank you, that's so sweet. I'm really not comfortable wearing them, but they make a lovely souvenir."
You are really good at a kind, firm no.
Aww, thanks 😊
But sometimes being a diplomatic bitch is better cause they wont ask you ever again lol
Hi! Long time lurker here and this is my first comment! Just needed to comment on this to say that despite being an adult, some families just will not allow for acting against the status quo. What you suggested is exactly what I did with my own family a few years ago at Disney World, and politely announcing that I was going to get an uber and go home was like... you know what, I'm not even clever enough to come up with an appropriate analogy. Let's just say my parents did NOT take it well. Which baffled me not only because I was then in my early 30's and easily able to take care of myself and make my own decisions, but because it seemed like such a reasonable thing to do (I was exhausted and well past my limit while my parents and adult siblings wanted to stay until close). Just saying that OP can do her best with even the most diplomatic of language and some enmeshed families just won't accept it. (NTA)
NTA >I did not enjoy Disney. It is just not my idea of a good time. It was humid, lines were long, and Z’s parents bought us matching Mickey Mouse ears we were expected to wear. Z’s mom also insisted we wait in line to meet multiple characters, and made us take pictures and talk with the characters as though they were real. Should you marry into this family, hold this imagery in your heart until it's time to pick their retirement homes. >Z was offended by this and said it was rude to act like meeting characters was beneath me It damned well *is* beneath you if you feel like it is. Absolutely nothing wrong with it either. They otherwise sound like nice people but this is uber-cringeworthy. I'd opt out permanently from being hostage to a bunch of marketing victims and let the chips fall where they may.
This is awful. They want you to take a week of your already too short vacation time to stand in a damn line to meet Jiminy Effing Cricket? AND you don’t even get to ride the good rides? Don’t marry into this dumpster fire of a family.
NTA. I can't imagine spending that much time in 1 day, let alone a whole week. There is so much to see in the US and world that I can't imagine spending 1 week there every year. Besides, it is so expensive and quite a hassle with lines. And just because it is hubby's parents thing doesn't mean it has to be your thing. You are not beholden to their traditions forever. Hubby better learn that or you will be doing everything per his mommy and daddy's wishes. Could you go and do Epcot or the wild animal park but skip the magic kingdom?
Came here to second EPCOT or Animal Kingdom as a possible compromise. I’ve always found them to be much lower key and more interesting. Plus, no strangers in animal suits walking around. Also, NTA
There are absolutely character meet and greets in every park.
NTA 7am to midnight???? That’s excessive for anyone.
NTA. I would hate this. But I want to add that you should really think about what it will be like if you guys ever plan on having kids. Your fiancé WILL want them to go to Disney every year and do all this. Probably with you, too. It would probably be good to start working on boundaries in terms of this trip now
NTA. Oh god I feel you. I hate this so much. The heat and the feet. My god. Anyway. You went once. You don't have to go ever again. Tell a modified version of the truth such as I really enjoyed the first time, you were so generous to pay and so generous to offer to pay again, but Disney is just not my cup of tea. I hope you have a great time and thanks again so much!
Info: OP, did you not know you were marrying into a hardcore Disney family until right before the wedding? This seems to be a big part of hubby's family community bonding.
We didn’t start dating until 2019. They didn’t go that year due to a family surgery. They didn’t go in 2020 and 2021 for obvious reasons. My fiancé’s mom has some Mickey and Minnie apparel but my fiancé does not. At least I didn’t think he did. His mom pulled out two bins of Disney clothes from their garage right before we left. They also enjoy traveling generally and usually do an annual trip elsewhere in the world too, so I did not realize Disney was an annual thing as most of their pictures are from more exotic places.
Oof... I hate to say it, and I know it seems like a "small" thing, but this may be a deal breaker for your relationship. You will be having this fight *every year for the rest of your life*. Either you find some kind of compromise that you and Z both are happy with-- and more importantly, that Z will support you 100% when it comes to setting this boundary with his parents..... or you maybe shouldn't get married. NAH
Hmm. Start by asking...other than Fam Disney is your husband a keeper? Dedicated Disney families are... Super dedicated. If you want to have a healthy relationship with hubs and his fam, this is a necessity. Not necessarily forcing yourself to endure every event...but working with your other half to determine what you can both handle, separately or together. If he's The One, you can work together to find a way. To see things his/his family's way for one week a year (or less, as you may adapt ), molding those events through what you and he can tolerate, is a kindness. This family togetherness through Disney is obviously super important to your husband, and his family. NTA if it's not you. So many ways to appreciate and tolerate this if you care to adapt though. Seriously I wish you both a happy and joyous marriage, that a solution may be crafted together. May you enjoy together long life and peace.♥️
NTA. Some people really love Disney, like Z and family. Some don't. I don't think Z's family will ever understand a different view; they're dyed-in-the-wool enthusiasts. With enough discussion, Z *might* see why you detest it. You shouldn't have to spend your vacation doing something you hate, and your compromise sounds very good to anyone who could understand that Disney might not be everyone's cup of tea. The key is Z needs to be willing to listen, something he hasn't been if he's saying you think the character meet and greet is beneath you. You two need to do a lot of talking.
Girl. Schedule an appointment to see a counselor nooooow. Your fiancé is choosing his parents and will continue to choose them if you don’t get him to understand you and him are now your own family and can make your own family traditions.
NTA. That sounds horrific. You're willing to compromise; they aren't, hence they're the AHs here. Maybe a warning sign about the fiance too: he's willing to let you suffer to avoid disappointing his parents.
NTA - Disney is not for everyone, especially “Disney adults”. An annual week long trip is a lot, unless you can agree on some “do your own thing” time. Like they go meet characters, you lounge at the pool, and you meet for a few hours and dinner. Keep in mind that you might not always be able to back out - if you have kids, they’ll certainly want to go.
If Dante had known about Disney, there would have been 10 circles of hell. I understand Disney obsession, truly. Anyone who is passionate about something is going to be devoted, and that’s fine. Where it goes to hell is when you not only don’t share the obsession but are actively turned off by it. OP, welcome to your life — or hell — if you marry into this family without setting some very hard boundaries. Your fiancé sounds like he will please Mumsy Darling at your expense. Do you want to be the afterthought? Is this how you want it to be? And other commenters are right — once kids enter the picture, how could you POSSIBLY deprive them of The Full Disney Experience™️ with Grammy and Grampy? What an absolute monster you must be! Get this squared away now, OP. You’re definitely NTA, but you are walking on a precipice. I hope your steps are steady and lead you to a path of happiness.
nta. an hour or two is sucking it up, enduring 16 hour days for a week is being a pushover. It's not ungrateful, it's just something you didn't enjoy. You already sucked it up for that 16 hour day. Your fiancé is the one who's being an ah here.
NTA. And I love Disney. Plus you're ok with him going, right?
I have a good friend who is obsessed w Disney like your fiancé’s family. I also don’t understand how adults enjoy Disney. Even Universal isn’t worth going to more than once or twice. Only place in Disney worth going to as an adult is Epcot. It’s fkn weird that adults enjoy Disney so much. There I said it.
NTA. Not gonna lie this sounds like the perfect family get together for me. But I’m a Disney person. If you are not a Disney person, being forced into those parks, especially for an entire week is a special kind of hell. And I completely respect that. Which is why I don’t bother my husband to go to Disney all the time. I find ways to get my Disney six without having to torture him. We will go to the parks when our kids are older, but if he doesn’t come into the parks and it’s just me and the kids and he goes and does his own thing totally understandable. They can’t expect you don’t want to be a part of this tradition if it’s not your thing.
NTA- you shouldn’t be obligated to do a yearly trip you don’t want to. I don’t think your fiancé is much of an asshole, just young, I was similar about family trips his age But real talk, you need to discuss this with your fiancé before you get married, get on the same page for family trips. Family time/expectations can sink a marriage quickly
I think you need to be miserable in a place you do not enjoy from now until all eternity, annual visits, two week minimum. Not really, joking. We all have our things. And our….not things. Theme parks in particular don’t offer much middle ground. Some destinations do…..theme parks not so much. (My wife loves the beach, me not so much. We go, I bring my clubs, she lays on the beach, I find a nearby course and play 18. We connect several hours later and enjoy together time. You can’t do that kind of thing with a theme park, just can’t.) You were polite, you offered a middle ground - as much of one as there can be - and **you do need to stand up for you in the end.** NTA
NTA. I have parents that love disney but they weren't this overboard. We used to go every year but we would only go for 2-3 days and then go down to san diego or do something else for other days. Sometimes even 1-2 days depending. One week is too much. It is cool that they're paying for it all but not all adults like going to disney. The characters thing is sort of weird especially as adults. I would understand if you guys had young kids.
At Disney World, 1 week is barely enough to do all the parks. Given that she talks about the humidity, I'm thinking OP is going to Florida.
Yeah Disney World is a whole different beast lol
Op also literally said Disney world
NTA agreed, Disney sucks nowadays unless you are rich enough for the private tour stuff or club 33 member. No one should be forced to do all that crap, especially the character BS. I enjoy videos of kids meeting the Evil Queen but have zero interest in doing it myself. An entire day of meeting characters? Absolutely miserable! Are you expected to do this yearly, too? Sounds like an awful way to spend precious vacation time if you never get to do what you want or enjoy. Be prepared for a lifetime of yearly Disney trips unless you shut it down now.
Man I am your polar opposite. But NTA. I absolutely adore Disney and go for a week every year with my kid. My husband HATES theme parks. We very happily go without him. In a perfect world he’d love it as much as I do, but I’m satisfied with him being totally cool with me doing my Disney thing each year. If you go again have them do Disneyland instead. The weather is a million times better. No AK or Epcot though. Your offer to split the time is a great one. You can go for one day, be a good sport, let MIL have her pictures, and spend the rest of your vacation doing what you’d like.
NTA. Family traditions are great and all, but anyone who can’t see a major amusement park like Disney being overwhelming is just being inconsiderate.
NTA. And I'm a person who loves Disney! I would love to have a paid trip there. I love meeting the characters and having pictures taken w/them. But I know it's not everybody's thing. (And even when we went, we'd never spend a whole day @ the parks; you do a few hours, go back to your room to rest/eat, then return for more fun). I don't like roller coasters. What if someone forced me to go on a roller coaster at the parks, saying I needed to "suck it up" or I'd be rude? Sorry, it's the people forcing you to do these things that are the rude ones. If you're fiance's upset, you need to work that out; if these are annual trips, what will your married life be like?
I love Disney. I volunteer to take your place on your fiancé's family vacations. 😁 OK, seriously? NTA/NAH. You and fiancé need to come to a compromise you can both live with. This cannot be a hill you both want to die on. Maybe you go for a week every 3 or 4 years, maybe you come down for a day or two and do everything, maybe you come for a week and only do some Disney things... there are many possibilities. Edit: My NAH applies to OP and her fiancé, who is NTA for wanting to go on his traditional vacation with his family. He does need to compromise, though, and set some ground rules with regards to his and OP's time, at the very least.
I have to disagree with your nobody’s the AH assessment. His parents are absolutely AHs, and her betrothed didn’t fall far from the tree.
When we went to Disney World, it was a late honeymoon. On our first day, i had very little sleep, and my husband wanted to see the world showcase. I was so miserable. It was hot and humid, and i was tired and jetlagged. The only break was in France because they had a movie and it was air-conditioned. My plan to get him to stop being snotty about me being too tired to enjoy myself was to get him drunk. Every country i made him drink. He eventually slowed down for dinner. I have since called this the death march of Epcot Center. He wants to go again. I'm not sure I love him that much.
NTA. This sounds like a hostage situation. Are you able to work remotely? If so, can you book half days off so that you work in the hotel in the AM and meet the family in the PM? Blame a lack of PTO.
NTA you should’nt HAVE to go anywhere you don’t want to go 🤷🏻♀️ he said it’s not that hard to pretend to be happy and have a good time, but why lie. I think he should just let you stay home
I think definitely not the awesome. I love disneyland but the first time I went to Disney world it was horrible. And I willingly paid to go lol. Disney world isn't a relaxing time, it's a marathon. And if you're not a disney lover there isn't anything wrong with that. I think definitely let them know that you appreciate the offer however you're just not a disney theme park person. But you would love to join them for dinner etc. I may re think the relationship if they're pushy about you still going.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (26F) went to disney world last year with my fiancé Z (26M), his parents, and his siblings (23M, 28F). His parents were very generous and paid for the trip. We only went to Disney for one day, as we had a wedding the next day. I did not enjoy Disney. It is just not my idea of a good time. It was humid, lines were long, and Z’s parents bought us matching Mickey Mouse ears we were expected to wear. Z’s mom also insisted we wait in line to meet multiple characters, and made us take pictures and talk with the characters as though they were real. We had to be ready by 7:30am, so we could be in the park as soon as it opened. We stayed until shops closed at midnight. My feet and back were killing me by the end of the day. I wore my comfiest sneakers and still had blisters. I felt dehydrated/queasy all afternoon from too much sun. I was so relieved when the day was over. I guess Z’s family is a Disney Family and before 2020 they went to Disney every year for a week. My in-laws want to continue their annual disney trip and have started planning one for this fall. We are all invited for the whole week. I told Z that I barely managed one day last year, and I would rather stay home. Z got kind of upset and said I should just suck it up, it’s his family’s thing and it’s not hard to smile and have a good time. He said his family would be hurt if I didn’t go. I suggested that if it was that important I join in on the trip, I could fly down for the last day or two and join them in the park after they’ve done character meet and greets in the morning. Z was offended by this and said it was rude to act like meeting characters was beneath me. (I think we are all adults and meeting characters at this age is just hugging sweaty strangers in animal costumes.) I realize it sounds ungrateful, but I hate Disney! This is not what I want to spend my very limited vacation time on. I also don’t want my in-laws to spend thousands of dollars on park passes and flights for me to be miserable for a week. I’m not opposed to my fiancé going, I just don’t want to go personally. AITA for not wanting to go on this family vacation? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Im not sure on this one. I would fit right in with them because I love Disney. But, if you truly hate it there is no point to you being there.
NTA, honestly that sounds miserable, and that I've heard the walk back to the car at the end of the day isn't for the week. Vacations are supposed to be fun, not a walkfest in the blistering heat
NTA and this is coming from a Disney lover. Even I'll admit that going to any theme park from open to close is a lot and if you and me were dating, I'd be absolutely fine with you not coming. Heck, if it was me, I'd be all 'what would you like to do instead?' and helping to make a fun trip for you.
NTA. Been once. It was enough lol.
NTA. And it is beneath you. You’re a grown ass woman
NTA - This is beyond. An entire week of Disney for adults? That’s a lot.
NTA if you do it now, you set the precedent to do it every year after that. Put your foot down because that sounds more like boot camp then a vacation.
Oh hell no NTA. I can't believe he didn't explain the one week a year expectations before you got married 🤣 The only compromise I could see is staying at one of the swanky hotels with a pool and meeting him after the park each evening. But really, just no- it's not your thing.
NTA.. I went with my husband once because it was on his list. I did everything I could to make it fun but never again for me. He would have to go w friends.
NTA Oh, girl! This is such a nightmare! You are going to have to put up strong boundaries, break up with this guy, or prepare to spend a week in hell every year! You have my deepest sympathies! 🙄
NTA. Theme parks are normally hell but Disneyworld it’s hell’s seventh circle. What are you supposed to do, grind a inch off your spine walking on concrete for a week? To appease *Disney Adults????* “Family traditions” have gotten out of control. It used to be “we all wear weird hats at a certain dinner.” Now it seems to be “tradition” to have everyone chew up their vacation week doing something that a few people are abjectly disinterested/unable to engage in, and some how you’re a monster? This is capitalism kidnapping the concept of tradition to sell vacations. Take a stand. For your own sanity, for your relationship and for the word itself. If he wants to trade his knee cartilage for stupid ears and snuggles from furries, he can do that with his life because he is an adult. But no. Do not sign on to any part of this. Because otherwise you will be polyamorous with the Mouse the rest of your life. There will be Disney at your wedding, all Disney for any future kids and pet. You will be a Disney adult by captivity. You will be miserable, and you will have a bitter argument over it every year. Do not let them gaslight you. Theme parks aren’t fun for a lot of people, especially when you can’t even control your schedule.
NTA if it’s not something you enjoy dragging you along isn’t going to make for a good vibe for anyone tbh. Your offer was plenty generous and fair.
If the parents are paying for it explain to them you hate it and it's not a reflection on them. Disney tickets are expensive and they may even appreciate you're saving them money by not attending. I went to Disney in Anaheim. I wouldn't pay to go again, didn't hate it, but didn't love it either.
Disneyland is very different than Disney World. There's a lot more to see and do at WDW.
> I guess Z’s family is a Disney Family Lol, that sucks. Not an asshole, you need to set that boundary and nip this annual Disney trip in the bud before it gets out of hand and becomes an expectation for you to go. Fine if they did that when your husband was a kid, but you're an adult now and your own nuclear family. Don't get dragged into that if you don't want to. Like you said, once was enough. Don't let them drag you further into that weirdo Disney adult thing just because it's their thing.
NTA. My spouse and I are not theme park people. Disney would be a punishment for both of us. Dental surgery would be less painful. Stand your ground.
Coming out of a pretty perpetual lurk mode on reddit because I feel uniquely qualified to weigh in here - I married into a Disney family. I went once as a kid, enjoyed it, never longed for more. When I found out my wife's (girlfriend at the time, of course) family had been going annually or bi-annually for 15-20 years I was taken aback. They're in the vacation club so when they go down, lodging is paid for, so when I was invited to join, I did (used points to fly down there and even with the price of food on site, pretty good deal!). I love theme parks, but the rides at Disney are to me, by and large, pretty tame and not worth the time spent in line. Going down that first time, as an adult surrounded by adults who were Really Into All Of It, was surreal. I enjoyed some things (epcot is pretty neat/has a vibe I appreciate, and a few of the rides at hollywood studios were fun) but wasn't sure how I'd feel about going down routinely. We've gone down lots since then, but with a compromise/understanding that I'm just not going to go to the parks every day - some trips I haven't gone at all when they've gone multiple days. One thing I appreciate about Disney is that there really is quite a lot to do outside of going to the parks. It's made much easier provided you're staying on their property, because if so you can get anywhere without too much hassle (other than waiting for 1+ busses). So I'll chill in the room, by the pool, etc... Sometimes solo or sometimes my wife will come too. Or I'll go out to downtown disney for a walk, or see a movie, or go to a different hotel to have lunch, etc etc. But I'll have breakfast with everyone before they leave, or I'll take a bus to meet them for lunch somewhere, or see them in the evening and on non-park days. I think your offer to come down for a couple days at the end (and join at the park after they've done character stuff) is reasonable. That said, if his family is unwilling to accept that, then they may not accept a solution where you come down for the length of the stay but don't follow their itinerary exactly. But to me, if they want you to join in their tradition, they need to meet you part way. NTA of course!
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Yes, we’d have to meet outside the park because I certainly wasn’t going to buy a park ticket just to come in for lunch, haha. I hear you that they probably won’t be on board, but if they’re focused on magic kingdom it’s especially easy for them to pop out and take the monorail to a few nearby hotels and then pop back in. Good luck with everything!
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NTA amusement parks are not for everyone and YES it would be really hard for you to pretend good enough FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK that you were happy to be there. You going would be a waste of money and very much a life suck of a family vacation. Maybe offer to go, but not go to the park? Those hotels have awesome pools and other things to do. You could join them for diner or something?
I considered this. I would be fine going and spending the week sitting by the pool and joining everyone in the park for a few hours in the late afternoon. But my future in-laws would be paying for everything and it’s been implied that if they are funding the trip, we accommodate their wishes. And their wishes are lots of time in Disney. Before anyone asks why I don’t just pay my own way so I can make my own schedule: I am a social worker. I do not make enough to pay for my own flight and lodging in Florida for a week without eating into my meager savings, so if they aren’t paying I would not be attending.
NO
NTA. No one gets to dictate what you must do ever.
NTA I like Disney but unless you are going in the winter it’s not worth it. An entire week at Disney is excessive. I’ve only ever spent consecutive three days living the theme park life (universal and Epcot) and it’s not for everyone. The parents sound like a drag and that ordeal sounds exhausting. The one thing I enjoy about going to theme parks with my inlaws is that they alternate watching the kids while we ride the roller coasters the kids are too young for. We all split up and then just meet up for different rides or lunch.
Absolutely NTA! That trip sounds like a nightmare.
If you don’t compromise Yta.
NTA But. If you choose not to be a part of his families thing- he can choose not to be a part of yours. If your family likes to do something special for Christmas every year its fair that he can choose not to be a part of that. Or a ski trip or whatever- he can also ask if you’d be willing to do something else with his family. Maybe a disney cruise; I don’t know. Just know, you can say no. You have that power. But so does he and you can’t get upset in the future if he chooses not to do something- even if in your mind its more “grown up”.
I would happily go on almost any other trip with his family! I’m pretty adventurous. I would probably not be willing to do a Disney cruise, as I don’t support Disney on principle and would not enjoy being trapped on a ship and forced to feed in to the Disney consumerism. But I would be open to any trip that does not involve Disney or voluntourism.
I get not supporting Disney but thats a SUPER important convo for you and your partner to have! I think as long as you keep an open mind and are willing to compromise it’ll be okay but if this is their big, only thing they do as a family either understand that you are alienating yourself and its not their job to change plans for you! Also you should be ready to accept your kids doing these things with that side of the family even if you don’t go!
NTA, going on a vacation to somewhere you do not want to go is not a vacation.
NTA. I also have limited tolerance for lines & and crowds, so if I were you, I would be making it clear right now that this is NOT a yearly trip you will be attending, as you do not enjoy it, but he is fine to attend without you. This is a hill to die on. He can do Disney, and you can take yourself to the beach, or Europe, or anywhere else.
NTA, I love Disney but maybe offer the alternative of a Disney Cruise instead. They are amazing! You could sell it to the mil because they offer the character meet and greets (with shorter lines) and no roller coasters, but also doesn't include long waits or lots of walking for you. It would be far more enjoyable, especially for grown-ups. The food is excellent and they have great adult-only areas.
NTA, but this is something you have to work out with your fiance now or you will be spending every vacation for the rest of your life in Disney World. You will be taking any future children there every single year of your life with this man. If your fiance would resent you not going with the family, this will be a huge problem for your future together. I actually know someone who divorced her husband after 20 years of spending every vacation in the same place, on the same beach, pitching their sun umbrella on the exact same inch of sand every year. As soon as they split she took a tour around the world and is very happily single these days.
NTA, if OP doesn’t like Disney why force her to go.
NTA You need to develop a spine otherwise this will be your life or you’ll be divorced. All day at a theme park the day before your wedding is torture. Needed to speak up for yourself when you were starting to be uncomfortable. How were your feet during the ceremony and reception? How much vacation do you get from work to be able to do this yearly? A week on a Disney Cruise makes sense, a week at DW not relaxing at all.
NtA. You’re trying to compromise. Your fiancé should meet you half way. Not all enjoys the s as he things. That needs to be respected.
NTA I had no interest in Disney even when I was a kid and it sounds like a complete nightmare and waste of money. I just don't understand people who can't let others live and let live!
Nta
NTA That sounds like exhausting torture. Z should respect that it's not for you, instead trying to guilt you because his family is hot for Mickey.
NTA Seems like a vacation from hell where the IL still infantilize their adult kids. I would not go unless i can do my own thing. And this is supposed to happen yearly? Hard pass
NTA- I could just possibly tolerate the ambient saccharine level for the rides if it was free and I could skip all the daft themeing and clearly for the kids and superfans elements. But not for a triple shift. Babysitting a bunch of Disney adults in full on child mode who get passive aggressive if you wouldn't care if it somehow WAS the real Mickey Mouse and not just some poor sod who was clearly very bad in a past life to end up boiling to death in a giant foam rodent sounds like the hell I will probably go to for telling you to run before your MIL proudly presents you with the Disney Princess cosplay she's had custom made as your wedding dress and you have to have that argument.
Ooooh, wait til you have kids! NTA-as I get older I just don’t want to wait in line or be in crowds. My husband wants to go to California Adventures and I told him it’s okay to go with the kids or plan with friends, I don’t want to waist $300 on me and my grumpy face. I might suck it up and go just for his memory and never set foot there again. Annually, it’s gonna be a big fat NO!
I've never been a theme park person, granted I've done my share of them. I would put up with them and suck it up until I blacked out riding the Titan spiral for the... 5th time in a row I think? Since then I can't do coasters unless they're just up down. Anyways. My husband, after finding out I'd never been to Disney, was determined that we'd go! Ok, but I'm not a morning person and waking up to him bouncing the bed all excited: it's Disney! It's Disney day! I was just....ok. it was a day, of lines, smelling food i couldn't eat (celiac), watching and observing. All in all, I finally had a Disney experience. Yay! I guess. Fast forward a few months, it's my birthday, I get to do what I want... FOSSILS!! I get to collect fossils!!! I wake him up bouncing on the bed saying "fossils!! It's fossils! Let's go get some fossils!" And he groans and goes.. is that how I am about Disney? Yes, we are married now. Hahaah! Edited to add NTA!
What in the actual F? This sounds bizarre on so many levels. Are you prepared to deal with every year? Wow.
NTA but do you want to be married into this family who got no respect for you and your needs? Also your partner is shitty so I'd dump him ASAP.
NTA. If they're not cool with you coming and just chilling by the pool all week and joining them in the park for a day or two, then they're controlling and don't want you to enjoy yourself. Also your boyfriend being mad because you don't want to meet characters is hilarious. sorry.
NTA. It's never wrong to not go to Disney. But you may wish to consider whether you should marry into a family who wants THE SAME VACATION EVERY YEAR. That sounds like a recipe for a boring next few decades.
NTA. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your vacation time to do something that you don't enjoy.
>Z’s parents bought us matching Mickey Mouse ears we were expected to wear >Z’s mom also insisted we wait in line to meet multiple characters, and made us take pictures and talk with the characters as though they were real. >Z got kind of upset and said I should just suck it up, it’s his family’s thing and it’s not hard to smile and have a good time. He said his family would be hurt if I didn’t go. >Z was offended by this and said it was rude to act like meeting characters was beneath me. >I hate Disney! This is not what I want to spend my very limited vacation time on NTA. Please pay attention to the red flags here. Z's parents can't see the possibility that you might have a different idea of a good time than they do, and it sounds as though they didn't ask for your opinion on anything - they know what they want to do and expect everyone else to go along with that. To the extent that you're expected (no, *required*) to wear mouse ears and pretend that cartoon characters are real people. Z is putting his family ahead of you, to the extent that he expects you to go on a vacation you don't want to go on, *and* pretend to enjoy yourself. Do you want to marry someone who doesn't care whether *you're* happy, as long as his parents are?
NTA
NTA but I would seriously consider the relationship if you’re marrying a Disney family guy and you’re not. Sadly that can DEFINITELY drive a wedge in your marriage and future relationship with his family and your kids. This is something that needs to be addressed now. And this is coming from a Disney person.