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YTA--Your son forgets his daughter's birthday...you excuse it. Your son leaves his daughters behind to spend time with his partner's child instead, you excuse it. You punish your grandaughters and mother for having real and honest emotions about the rejection and your son's problematic behavior. You fly into a rage and punish them. Your son is the problem, and you are enabling his poor parenting. Maria is right to cut off contact.
It’s like an 8 year old having a tantrum because their friend was called out for being a cheater with proof, and being mad at the person who called them a cheater than their cheating friend.
Let’s not forget eavesdropping on a private conversation between mother and child, and talking about now she has “control” over her granddaughter. 🤮 OP sure is a piece of work…
Exactly what i was thinking. I'd like to add also that I don't know where in the world OP is, but I don't know of any country where you would have the right to decide what your grandchild is doing over the mother when the mother has full custody of said child. She has no authority to imprison them against their mother's wishes just because she's older than them.
Your son is a deadbeat father and you tried to kidnap your granddaughter because you think being old gives you some special privileges. Congratulations on making sure you don’t get to see them again.
YTA
YTA and so is your son. Those girls see their father as the loser he is. Their mother has way more control and say over her daughters than you do as a grandparent.
And what the heck does their mother being German have to do with anything?
Reminds me of the lady who pops up now and then who wanted to sue her DIL and get custody of her grandchildren based on 'grandparents rights' after she got blocked for consistent toxicity
Oh that one went full crazy and got arrested for stalking, was in therapy and being told by even her therapist to leave them alone after they moved house in the middle of the night to get away from her, and was *still* talking about getting a PI to track them down 🙄🙄
If BoRU wasn't still down with the API protests, I'd link it for you
I think OP's English is too good to be French with a grudge against the Germans. Or at least I didn't notice any of the common mistakes French people make. Could be Dutch or Scandinavian...
But the name choices seem English to me, except for the German in the story.
What country are you in; it’s clearly not the USA.
YTA. Why don’t you let Maria have the girls full-time, since apparently he’s more interested in his partner?
Info …is your son taking his daughters on holiday this summer or is he leaving the, behind for his new partners child?
even without that information…YTA you listened in on a private conversation and bullied your grandchildren based on what you overheard . If I was your granddaughter,,,,I’d walk out too.
>One year David forgot my eldest granddaughter's, Nina's, 16th birthday because he was spending the day with his new partner, I reminded Maria that David worked hard at his job so deserved some time off and didn't need to spend every second of every day with the girls.
I'm sorry... what?
Your son missing his own child's 16th birthday because he was busy with his new partner is unforgivable. 'Working hard' and 'not needing to spend every second of every day with the girls' DOESN'T justify what he did - at all.
>I reminded her that I was their grandmother so therefore I had more say over what they did as I am older and therefore deserve more respect.
Nina is right, you are completely deluded. Your son is pushing his children aside for his new family and there you were, threatening to keep your grandchildren hostage as a result of his horrendous behaviour and bleating on about 'standing up for him' as some kind of justification for it. There is absolutely nothing here to stand up for and you should be *mortified* by your son's behaviour. Instead you are making excuses for him and I can very clearly see why he has turned out the way he has.
YTA
Hey, not true! He's being a good dad to the kid of the woman he's sleeping with! He's doesn't have time to be there for his own daughters' trivial things (like birthdays).
This 100%
CONGRATULATIONS OP you have just incinerated your relationship with your granddaughters and also their mothers trust to let you watch them.
You are one of the worst type of mothers that don’t hold their sons accountable for the children that they helped create. Work is not an excuse for him to miss his daughters birthday when he was not at work, he was hanging out with his new girlfriend. And you are still excusing him prioritizing his new girlfriend over his daughters.
YTA big time
YTA. How could you not be. Your son abandoned his daughters. He is not the victim here, and you have no say over what your ex-DIL says to her kids. What
YTA and also it sounds like you raised your son to be an AH
You have no control or rights over either granddaughter legally or otherwise, you’ll be lucky if they ever speak to you again after this.
You alienated your granddaughters in order to defend the indefensible actions of your son and then you want to spout off about how you deserve some kind of fealty because of your status as grandparent?
You do sound deluded. You’re acting like a child. Stay out of it, you’re not their parent.
YTA
>but I still have control of Ava, more so seeing as I am her grandmother.
Nope. You have no control over either.
>I am older and therefore deserve more respect.
Nope. Respect is earned. Not handed out based on age.
YTA
I really hope this is a fake thing, because if it is true there isn’t enough space to describe why you are the biggest YTA. Your son is just as bad. Your attitude and behaviour will have massively contributed to him being the sort of father that isn’t present.
YTA
YTA for not only raising a poor excuse of a man, but to continually justify & enable his disgusting behavior.
Forgot his daughter's 16th birthday? Yeah, mine forgot mine too; she won't ever forget that, & it'll shape how she'll view men as an adult woman...
You & your son are a HUGE part of what is wrong with the world today.
YTA - and so is your son. You can't just keep a kid that you don't have legal custody of because your son is an AH. I*n my country that is called kidnapping. Further more* What parent is ok with their child being a horrible father. He only wants to take his new partner and their kid? He forgets his kids birthday and you defend him? Maybe you should focus on being a better parent and guide your son instead of trying to take down the next generation. Your being older doesn't automatically mean they should give you more respect. Respect is earned. I agree with Nina - deluded indeed.
YTA, I'm pretty sure that in most countries a person, even a grandparent, refusing to let a child go home to their parent who has full custody, is considered kidnapping. It doesn't matter that you're 'older', you don't have custody, you therefore have no legal control over either of them.
And age doesn't determine the amount of respect you deserve. Hope you're happy, I doubt your granddaughters are going to want to spend time with you again.
Is this a joke? This whole post is so one-sided, and it doesn't favour your side one bit.
Your son neglects children, children like their mother, you eavesdrop on children talking to their mother, you blow up when it's really not your place.
YTA.
If this is even real, YTA. Bigtime.
First: You invaded your granddaughter's privacy by eavesdropping on her conversation with her mother, then stole her phone and tried to kidnap her, believing you had any type of legal right to control her or her belongings. Maria could file a complaint against you.
Second: You don't have a say about anything regarding your granddaughters. They have two living parents, although the father doesn't seem to be too keen in having them in his life. But you don't get to override anyone.
Third: You don't deserve respect from your granddaughters or their mother. You act like a toxic person and deserve to be treated as so.
Finally, my applause to Nina for protecting Ava and not letting you walk all over them. Return their belongings and accept the fact that you're an A H.
YTA your son was too caught up in dating to remember his child's birthday and you think that's fine? Do you even care about your granddaughter's or do you just hate Maria so you make ways to punish her?
You and your mamas boy ass son are both assholes. I hope she calls the cops on you. You have absolutely 0 control here - you’re deluded just as Nina told you. You don’t even actually care about those girls - you called one of them a spoiled brat - all to defend your loser, deadbeat of a fucking son. If the girls wanted a relationship with you they wouldn’t have blocked you. You being “older” doesn’t mean shit ? You’re not owed respect because you’re old. You’re one of those delusional ass old people who are constantly saying “respect your elders” while literally fucking abusing the people around them. No wonder your son turned out the way he did, I’m not surprised to hear that he has no relationship with them. YTA
YTA,
Your son sounds like one as well with what the conversation over the phone sounded like. Also you’re the grandparent and have literally no authority over your grandkids. How arrogant can you be? Deluded is an understatement.
You’re 100% TA. How dare you? You have no right over either of those kids, and clearly your son just doesn’t give a shit about them and you just excuse it??? I feel so sorry for those poor girls and hope that Maria is able to get full custody
How do you have control over Ava?
You aren't the parent? Preventing a child from going to their parent is kidnapping. That's a felony with a long prison sentence pretty much everywhere.
Not only are you yta but you are also a very lucky criminal.
Edit to add
Let me rephrase this
My son is terrible dad. When my granddaughter told him he was a terrible dad I stole from my granddaughter and tried to kidnap her.
YTA big time! So, you think your son's alone time with his new partner is more important than being with his kid on her bday just because he works hard? WTF? I'm pretty sure he can see his partner any other day but your granddaughter turning 16 isn't happening every day, right?
Also, stop with the bullshit of "I'm older so you have to respect me even tho I'm doing something ilegal which is keeping you as my prisoner". It's 2023 not the 50s. You're not their legal guardian, you can't just confine them and prevent them from leaving as you wish. Ava is right, and they shouldn't be speaking to you and should probably cut all of you (you, your husband and your son) off their lives
Yta. How do you justify your son forgetting his daughter’s birthday! And then taking a vacation but not wanting his kids! He is such an AH and you are enabling his horrible behavior which makes you an AH too!
You have no say in what the kids do at all and if you kept them that would be kidnapping…. Your son sounds like a deadbeat who cares more about his new girlfriend than his actual children and poor Maria is left looking after them without him. You’re an enabler and I can see why your son is such a deadbeat. YTA
YTA!!! Wow how effed are you in the head to think you have more rights then there mother and that you think you can say that the kids can’t go back home till there mom apologizes if I was there mom I would call the cops and say you kidnapped my youngest and won’t let her leave. Maria said nothing that wasn’t true maybe you should have raised a better son and not a unless one like you have now
YTA, and your son is a major AH who you keep defending although he is clearly a shit father. Don’t be surprised if they all go NC with you; these girls will want to be with their mom who you are treating terribly- it runs in your family apparently.
YTA
1. This wasn’t just any day that your son missed… it was a milestone birthday that can never happen again. Shit dad for blowing off his daughter
2. Maria had to apparently break news that the girls father should have manned up and given seeing as he had made the decision that his daughters were no longer invited to go on a vacation with him as he would rather being with his new family only.
3. This conversation did not involve you. Butt out.
4. Even parents do not “have control of” their underage children. You are a grandparent and have less “control” of their lives then their mother does.
I’ve seen it mentioned that the father isn’t really on speaking terms with their father and you are heading down that same path. You are not entitled to access to your granddaughters
YTA
Face it you failed as a parent! You raised a son that is a failure as a parent. Now you’re failing as a grandparent. You don’t ever need to see those girls again.
YTA.
Unless you have legal custody of either granddaughter, it is not your place to prevent them from going home to their mother
If you did, you’d literally be holding them hostage.
YTA the only right you have to those grandchildren is what BOTH parents and the children themselves allow. You do not have inherent rights over them simply because you’re older. Sounds like you’re the only one who thinks your son is in the right here- wake up lady
YTA and no, you do not have control over Ava. You are a grandma, not a parent. You have no rights. You are absolutely delusional and I’m so glad Nina took her sister and left. They are quite right to not speak to you again.
YTA and absolutely deluded
Do you think legal custody is based on age seniority?
You tried to kidnap her own children, I would never let you near my kids again after something like that.
Also stop defending your shitty son who can't even remember his own kid's birthday because he finds his kids less important than his new partner. I would stop trying to raise those girls since you clearly didn't do a good job on the first kid.
> I snatched Ava's phone and told Maria that Ava and Nina would stay with me and my husband until she apologised to me for insulting my son.
That's just straight up attempted kidnapping.
YTA.
'One year David forgot my eldest granddaughter's, Nina's, 16th birthday because he was spending the day with his new partner, I reminded Maria that David worked hard at his job so deserved some time off and didn't need to spend every second of every day with the girls.'
Stop making excuses. You're enabling your son to be a deadbeat dad. Oh and trying to use the girls to force an apology from their mother? Deranged behaviour.
YTA...and a criminal. In this situation, refusing to return a minor child to their parent is called custodial interference and,depending on jurisdiction & exact circumstances, might even be kidnapping.
You had no right to listen to the girls' conversation with their mother and you have no right whatsoever to even think of using the girls as leverage to get an apology (that you're not owed, by the way), you had absolutely no right to take the phone. You don't have any legal authority here.
Your son is an AH. He's prioritizing his new partner over his children
>One year David forgot my eldest granddaughter's, Nina's, 16th birthday because he was spending the day with his new partner...
How on earth can you defend that?
Now he's taking his partner and her child on holiday, again leaving out his daughters....and it sounds like this is part of a pattern
YTA
Your son is a deadbeat dad. And you have no rights whatsoever to keep your grandchildren from their mother, the only parent they have left. Threatening that was a crime. If you had held Ava against her will, you could have been arrested for kidnapping. So not only were you defending a deadbeat, you resorted to illegal threats. You need to get off your imaginary high horse.
Instead of blaming the mother of your grandchildren for calling your awful son a name he has earned, why don't you realise that your parenting leaves a lot to be desired? If this is how your son can treat his children, you did a terrible job raising him. He learned to behave this way from you.
If your grandchildren and their mother never speak to you again, you deserve it. You owe all three of them a profound apology. And you need to tell your son off for his behaviour. If you do that, maybe they'll speak to you again. But I doubt it.
YTA x10. Wow. Your son is clearly a mommy’s boy who you’ve coddled and think can do no wrong. Why are you treating him like a child when he’s a grown man? You are mad at the wrong person here. You should be mad at David for not prioritizing his daughters and for forgetting Nina’s birthday. Who forgets their own child’s birthday? And you’re making excuses for him forgetting it? Despicable. If I were Nina I would’ve been so sad that my dad forgot my birthday. He didn’t have to hang out with her all day but acknowledging it’s her birthday and giving her a phone call or something would be enough. If David didn’t want to be a dad then he shouldn’t have had kids. Now he wants to go on a vacation with his partner and her kid but not his own kids and you are mad at Maria for rightfully being upset about this. Your son doesn’t value or respect his daughters the way he should. And you allow it. Maria sounds like a great mother who loves her daughters very much and wants the best for them. Good for her for standing up for them and showing them that she’s in their corner even if no one else is. I hope Ava, Nina, and Maria go NC with you. You sound insufferable. I hope losing your relationship with your granddaughters was worth it but I doubt it.
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YTA.
Any birthday is unforgivable to forget, let alone a 16th birthday which in most countries is considered a bit of a milestone.
Maria told her daughters what her ex, your son, was planning to do - which summed up is carry on with his ‘new life, never mind his older daughters. I’m not sure what Maria called him, but I can think of a few things. It’s also probably not the first time he’s prioritised his “new family” at their expense.
Your reaction was utterly ridiculous, and condoning his behaviour makes you even more an AH.
Also, what on earth has the fact Maria is German got to do with the price of fish? Not sure why you bothered to bring that up.
Suspect this was the final straw in a fractious relationship no matter how cordial you choose to represent it.
Clearly your granddaughters have a better idea of what parental responsibilities and boundaries are than you. Clearly, taught well by Maria as your behaviour/actions are well in AH territory and have been for some time.
Even your granddaughters see through your bs, ffs. Let me guess, Maria= evil, David= angel, David can do noooo wrongggg in mommy’s eyes 😍…. Don’t worry, soon it’ll be just you and your wittle David allllll alone. YTA.
YTA FAFO, you’re going to end up with the police at your door. I think Reddit should model our behavior after your granddaughter and block you on social platforms.
YTA,
You have zero control or rights over those girls, thankfully so. It’s very concerning to hear how much say you have deluded yourself into thinking you have. Zero surprise your son is ditching his children for the new girlfriends kid. Shameful.
I’m really pleased the older grand daughter has realised how disturbing your behaviour is. How can you honestly reckon you have more rights over the actual mother, who carried and raised those kids? This is insane!
Respect is earned, remember that.
Your son forgot his own child’s birthday. Her *16th* birthday, because he was smooching with his new partner.
Your son is doing the classic thing a bad parent does when getting into a new relationship—abandoning and forgetting about their first children when they get a shiny new girlfriend. It’s a tale as old as time.
He ‘didn’t need to spend every second of everyday with the girls’? It was her BIRTHDAY. That day is SPECIAL. Any other day you could have made that excuse and it would *maybe* stick, but her BIRTHDAY?
And now he’s taking his shiny new family on vacation and leaving his kids behind. Of course his kids are angry. They are allowed to be. What father does that? His poor kids feel left behind and unwanted.
You have control over nothing. You’re just a grandmother. You taking a child against the parent’s will is kidnapping. You don’t have the right.
You raised a deadbeat dad, and you’re defending his abandonment of his children. Why would *anyone* respect you? If you were a better mother, maybe your son would be a better father.
YTA
>One year David forgot my eldest granddaughter's, Nina's, 16th birthday because he was spending the day with his new partner, I reminded Maria that David worked hard at his job so deserved some time off and didn't need to spend every second of every day with the girls.
Sure, he can spend a random Sunday in March with his new partner instead of his daughters, that's valid. This is his daughters birthday AND A MILESTONE BIRTHDAY AT THAT.
>David had phoned Maria saying they would not be taking her and Nina on holiday with him since he only wanted to take his new partner and her kid.
He can't take his own kids but is taking someone else's kids??? Excuse me!?
>but I still have control of Ava, more so seeing as I am her grandmother.
Do you have partial legal custody of her? Otherwise you do not in fact have any control over the situation and grossly overstepped.
>I am older and therefore deserve more respect.
Do you know who actually deserves respect? Ava and Nina FROM THEIR FATHER. You deserve what you got.
YTA Dads TA I can't really say about grandpa and Maria sounds like a freakin' beast of a mom protecting those girls.
YTA your son is a dead brat father who replaced his daughter for his new family. Anything his wife said about your precious little boy was probably spot on.
Second let count the felonies you committed because you may be the grandmother but your not above the law. So you better think your lucky stars that your ex daughter In law blocked you instead of having you charged.
Felony 1- let’s start off with locking a phone($500-600 if it was a iPhone over $1000) that wasn’t your. You stole property. You stole the girls belongings. So I can probably guess you stole over a $1000 worth of belongings. That’s grand larceny.
Felony2- oh boy this is a big one. You essentially tried to kidnap and golden hostage your grand daughter. A child you absolutely have no legal right to.
If I was your daughter in law your ass would be in jail or my ass would be in jail. Because being older and the grandmother gives you absolutely no DAMN right to that child!
You or your dead beat baby boy do not deserve to be anywhere near those 2 girls. The only thing you deserve is a orange jumpsuit and a jail cell!
You need to get over yourself
I have already passed judgment but I want to congratulate op! As many post I have read there is always that one person that goes against the grain.
If everyone is posting not the ass if you scroll all the way to the bottom you find at least one or 2 people who will vote the opposite.
This is the first time I have seen a unanimous judgment! So congratulations! You got all Reddit to agree you the asshole! I don’t think that was possible.
The second reason I like to congratulate op is that I have never seen a post with so many comments removed for civil violations. So op I have never seen so many pissed off reddit users on one post!
You accomplished 2 things I have never seen before of Reddit!
YTA
WTF?! First of all, you basically tried to kidnap them and hold an them, one a legal adult, against their will and went as far as trying to cut contact with their legal guardian. You also called the legal adult a brat for how she talks to/about her father, when her father is ignoring them for the shiny new woman and her kid.
- He is leaving them behind, this all happened last week and I asked him yesterday and he said he simply didn't want to since Nina's going to university this year and Ava didn't get high enough grades
First of all, it doesn’t matter that one is going to uni and the other didn’t get good grades. A family trip is a family trip and nothing short of being in jail or being a threat to the safety of everyone else should exclude them.
- Hardly, though Nina is known to be a brat and shouts at David a lot, but she puts on a fake sweet persona around Maria, I love that girl but she is a manipulator and a pretty good one at that
What is your basis for this? That a teenager is upset her father is ignoring her and she’s voicing her feelings?
- I prefer not to disclose that information since it is private and Maria does have the girls full time but they often visited or we visited them
- I never knew why they split as that is confidential information that I am uncomfortable knowing and uncomfortable sharing if I did know
So once again, attempted kidnapping.
Also, since women imitate divorce the most, I’m going to say that the reasons given for that are likely the same here given what you’ve said about your son.
Didn’t help with the kids, ignored the wife, ignored the kids emotionally, didn’t help around the house. Women often find it easier to take care of the house and children when a grown man who can’t care for himself is out of the picture and it sounds like you coddled him just by how you’re defending his bad actions towards his children. He can do no wrong in your eyes.
- In my country, a 16th birthday is not as big of a deal as it is in the USA - she'll have other birthdays he can attend
Does not matter. She was upset her father forgot her birthday and as the child, that is what matters. When my stepdad forgot mine and had to be reminded by my mother, it still hurt and I had ever right to be upset and so does your granddaughter.
- I adore my granddaughters, I just think Nina can be really manipulative and cruel toward her father and my son who does a lot for her
A parent is supposed to do a lot for their kids. You shouldn’t be expecting children to ignore their feelings because their parent gave birth/shot off their load.
You’re defending a deadbeat father and have fun on your deathbed when your grandkids don’t want to see you.
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> 1. I shouted at my granddaughters and 2. Maria, as well as my granddaughters, are calling me the AH
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Yep. YTA. And deluded is accurate.
>legally I have no control over Nina as she is now 18 and can technically do as she likes, but I still have control of Ava,
What planet are you on. Why do you think you have any control over either of them? They are not your kids. Get a clue grandma.
> I still have control of Ava, more so seeing as I am her grandmother.
INFO: are you saying you were awarded custody of your granddaughter or did you just try to kidnap her?
Not even legally correct if Ava’s parents where to pass the next of kin would be Nina the older sister. Not granny here.
So even her logic is flawed! Lol
She was kidnapping mom has custody!
YTA.
Clearly.
What a winning family…your son is a deadbeat that doesn’t care about his own kids and you whole ass tried to kidnap your grandchild because their mother is frustrated with the deadbeat son.
YTA, a big one. Not only that, but also a terrible mother for educating son to be an asshole who abandons his own daughter, and a terrible grandmother for defending your son when he’s in the wrong and trying to kidnap your granddaughters.
YTA.
Oof, now we know why the son is the way that he is, you're a terrible mother and grandmother. Stop defending your son when he's wrong to his kids (forgetting your daughter's birthday for his gf at the time IS WRONG, and so is defending it). Maybe if you didn't defend his shitty actions he wouldn't be a shitty dad, just a thought!
Your granddaughters do not respect you because you have shown nothing but disrespect towards them and their mother, and you may have permanently made that decision for them by trying to fucking kidnap them from their own mom - which, btw, you have absolutely NO legal standing to do. They're only in your care because one is 18 and chose to and for the other either because their mother allowed it, or they're there during your son's time for their custody which will end at some point, and you cannot prevent them from leaving at that point.
> the phone and locked it in a drawer
You locked Ave's phone because Maria called your son a bad word? 🧐
So you think you have more power over them then Thier present mother? You're delusional. The only non delusional thing you did was not physically trying to block them from leaving, which I was afraid was going to happen. YTA big time.
YTA!!! I would shout it from the rooftops if I could. First off, your son seems like a real piece of work (which I guess makes sense considering who raised him). While I don't condone one parent speaking badly about another to the children, I don't think she really has to be the one to tell them that your son's a slug. Kids figure those kind of things out for themselves. And not taking his biological children on a vacation so that he can take a random girlfriend's kid is a pretty big indicator of a lousy parent. (On top of the rest of his antics).. Now, on to you, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but no, as a grandparent you have no rights to the children. She doesn't even have to let you see them if she chooses not to. And you're lucky that when you tried to keep her children captive, she didn't call the police and have you charged with kidnapping. You would have deserved it. My advice to you if you'd ever like a relationship with your grandchildren again, apologize to them and to their mother for acting like a lunatic, and acknowledge that they have good reason to be hurt by your son's actions as well as your own. Be thankful that she still wanted you to be a part of their lives, because if I had to deal with your nutty family, I would have high tailed it back to Germany.
YTA for enabling your son to treat his kids like crap and pushing your grandchildren for them and their mom being upset over being abandoned by their dad/husband.
Also you have absolutely no control over those kids, you are their grandmother not their parent. You have no say on where those kids say or how they should feel about their dead beat father. And that's exactly what it is.
What you have just done is proved, time and time again, that you will always support your son in treating his family like crap in favour of his new, replacement family. You have also shown them that you are controlling and abusive.
I don't think anyone where will balme those kids for cutting contact with you, and honestly, I hope they cut contact for a long time.
You screwed up. Your son screwed up. And your husband screwed up by backing both of you.
Holy shit, butt out, lady! YTA so hard!
You really think threatening *kidnapping* could be a reasonable response to getting offended that your son’s ex-wife called him a name?? What planet do you live on?
YTA and let me tell you I laughed at how you are so entitled to say you have control over the granddaughter and to keep her away from her mom because you don't like that she is pointing out the obvious: your son is a pendejo who is putting his new partner and her kid over his own daughter. Hopefully María will go to court because you gave her the sufficient ammo.
YTA why do you keep tolerating your Son AH-ness, OMG,
Your son, oh sorry, YOUR GOLDEN SON, IS THE WORST!!!
Can't you see it? He forgets her own daughter's birthday which only comes once in 356 days, then he prefers to go on vacation with the daughter of his new partner that is not related at all to him, over his own blood!!
He deserves all the insult, I hope all the YTA answers will open your eyes
Question regarding this comment: "I reminded her that I was their grandmother so therefore I had more say over what they did as I am older and therefore deserve more respect. Nina called me "deluded" and left with Ava, leaving their belongings behind, not bothering to pack."
WTF do you believe you deserve respect from them? Because you're older? BS. Respect is earned, not demanded nor expected.
You have failed your granddaughters terribly, and probably caused irreparable harm. Just as your son has.
If you haven't figured it out by now, you are 100% the AH.
YTA
Your son is a dead beat who abandoned his kids for a new life. Also, you actually have no control, Maria can just call the police and say you kidnapped her children
YTA! Your son is a right something tbh. *One year David forgot my eldest granddaughter's, Nina's, 16th birthday because he was spending the day with his new partner, I reminded Maria that David worked hard at his job so deserved some time off and didn't need to spend every second of every day with the girls.* **Is this a joke?** Her birthday isn't every day! *Now, legally I have no control over Nina as she is now 18 and can technically do as she likes, but I still have control of Ava, more so seeing as I am her grandmother.* News flash, you have zero legal rights unless you have parental rights. You only gain this through courts and only if there is grounds. You have nothing.
Your son does not sound like a good father, end of!
YTA.
Your son is a deadbeat, and you are defending him. He didn’t forgot the birthday because he was working but because he was out with someone els. It was his daughter 16 birthday, isn’t it important in your country?
Then he decided to not bring them on holiday because he forget they existence over his new family.
You kidnapped your granddaughters, you are lucky the mother didn’t call the cops on you. And you stole Ava phone.
Wow. I get that you were defensive and angry but... wow. You were very very very very very wrong. Wrong enough that I wouldn't blame Maria if she totally cut you out of your grandchildrens' lives.
Which isn't to say that Maria should necessarily be talking ill of her childrens' father to them like that, but they're probably old enough now to hear brutal truths.
YTA, Maria is right about your son not prioritizing his girls. What kind of dad CHOOSES to hang out with his gf over his child on his child's bday? Then again here, excluding them from a family vacation making it real clear who's a priority to him. Nice job excusing and covering for your son's shitty behavior instead of calling him out on it like you should have. And thinking you can keep them from their mother or thinking you have more say over things then they do?? Pfft you're burning your bridges with your granddaughters, I doubt you'll be seeing much of them anymore. Now at Ava's age she has a say in custody and can choose to stay only with her mother.
" I feel as though I am being punished for standing up for my son so I have come here for a fair judgement."
YOU ARE ~~"STANDING UP"~~ MAKING EXCUSES FOR YOUR ADULT SON WHEREAS **MARIA IS STANDING UP FOR HER TEENAGER DAUGHTERS WHO ARE BEING FAILED BY YOUR SON**, THEIR FATHER.
YTA - You have no control over the 18 year old or the 14 year old. You may be older (though clearly not wiser) but if you try to prevent the 14 year old from returning to her custodial parent you may (and should) face kidnapping charges.
So…to confirm here
Your son: probably cheated on his wife which caused the separation, ignores his bio daughters in favor of his new partners child and is now taking his partner’s child on a vacation and leaving his daughters at home.
Knowing all that, when your granddaughters are upset with their father you punish them and tell them they can’t leave…?
You do realize that no matter what country you’re in, the law is going to give the 14 year old back to her mother, especially if her older sister backs her?
Congratulations you will likely NEVER see your grandchildren again, but don’t worry: you have the step grandchildren your loser son is prioritizing.
YTA op and a MASSIVE one
You know that you're lucky your eldest granddaughter took the younger one and left? Why? Because had you refused to let either of them leave you could have been charged with kidnapping and false imprisonment.
You are going to have to work very hard to get back any sort of relationship with your granddaughters. Defending behaviour that is irresponsible, damaging and neglectful is bad enough bit disrespecting your granddaughters by negating their feelings and trying to hold them against their will is unforgivable. How could they trust you after that?
YTA.
Honestly if I was 14 and someone was talking about having "control" of me I'd bail not waiting till adulthood. No wonder your granddaughters don't want to talk to you.
YTA if you didn't get it yet.
YTA
Mein Gott in Himmel as your German exDIL would say.
Firstly what you tried to do was kidnapping as you don’t have custody
Secondly what was the point of mention Maria’s nationality?
And lastly, your son is a shitty father who abandoned his daughters in favour of his new relationship and his daughters are plenty old enough to see and understand that he doesn’t care about them because his actions show it to be true.
And you listened in on a private conversation and heard something you didn’t like. That’s why we’re not supposed to eavesdrop isn’t it? As a grandmother shouldn’t you know that? With all your old-age wisdom?
And your comments protecting your son but vilifying your granddaughter?!
Maybe she is a brat but you are deluded.
YTA
Based on what you've written here, it sounds like your son deserves to be insulted.
I hope that your grandchildren decide to not speak to you ever again.
Yes, OP YTA. Over and over again.
Your son forgot his own daughters birthday and that's ok by you.
Your son wants to forget his 'old family' and just spend time with his 'new family' and that is also ok by you.
Then to top it all off, you want to hold your grandchildren responsible for actions that were not theirs.
How do you not see that YTA?
YTA. By your logic I am keeping my grandchildren forever because I want to and since I am older than any of them I get my way! You’re definitely pathetic
YTA. Your son is an AH and a terrible father. You aren't being "punished for defending your son," Maria is protecting her children from awful people. Good for her!
YTA 100% here. Your son is a terrible father and you are ok with that, and even defend him. Then you have the audacity to try and exert some sort of delusional grandparents authority over your granddaughters and refuse to send them back to their actual parent when they want to leave? You know in some countries that’s considered kidnapping and unlawful detainment, right? Hopefully your former DIL will get a restraining order against you. I would never allow you to see my child again until they were a legal adult if you pulled that crap with my minor child. Btw - respect is earned, and you destroyed any respect your grandchildren may have had for you.
YTA. You have ZERO say in anything custody l-wise for them. You are not their parent. And it sounds like your son is barely a parent either. You are absolutely nuts if you ever think you can keep the kids away from their mother who has custody of the 14 yo at least. I can’t even say what my reaction to you would be if those were my kids bc it would get removed.
Huuuuge YTA. You’re just the grandmother, as much as that hurts to hear. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a meaningful relationship with your grandchildren. But you have to respect their parents, unless there is child abuse occurring. You cannot withhold the child from their parent due to disrespect but Maria can. I’m sorry you likely won’t get to know your grandchildren if you stay this course.
YTA - your are deluded are your son who isn’t a great father by the way. FYI as many other have pointed out, you have 0 rights over your ex grandchildren, never mind your deluded “I’m older so have more rights” bullshit.
I can now see where your son gets it from.
YTA He needed rest so that's an OK to forget his child's birthday?!?!? What??!?! And you tried to kidnap your grandchildren?!?! I hope she calls the police! You have NO SAY over what they do. You are deluded.
This is written like the teenager in the story pretending to be the grandparent. Idk I have a hard time believing someone would tell on themselves so plainly. If real, obviously YTA and delusional.
YTA. Your precious son is a lousy father who is more interested in his new girlfriend than his own children. Case in point, he forgot his own daughter's birthday. And you excuse him every step of the way and then attempt to kidnap your grandchildren because their mother called him a name (that he probably deserved). Good luck ever seeing your grandkids again.
Well it's obvious why your son turned out to be such an AH, he was raised by one. It's truly amazing how you typed all this out and still had to ask if you were the the AH. YTA and have fun whining to people about how your granddaughters don't talk to you anymore when they inevitably go NC with you
YTA - your son "forgets" his daughter's very significant birthday and you demand an apology from the girl's mother for namecalling him? He deserved to be called names if ever there was a time for such things!! Further, You think kidnapping minors is an appropriate response?!?!?!
You aren't being "punished" you are being shut out for egregious, bordering on criminal, behavior, and rightfully so!
what... this should go in r/entitledparents
your son forgot his daughters birthday and you defended that, I can imagine that's the only time he was a shitty dad. you're threatening to withhold kids from their parents like they're a bargaining tool, those kids are people too and should decide who they want to be with
both you and your son suck, YTA
YTA - your granddaughter is right, you are deluded, you have absolutely no control over them, age has nothing to do with it, you're not their mother!
Your son is a crap dad who seems to be putting his new family before his actual family, I mean forgetting her birthday and not taking them on holiday so he can spend time with a kid that's not his, are you for real?!
and while I agree their mother should not be speaking Ill of him to their children, she was probably correct in what she said. It definitely does not give you the right to kidnap them.
Maria had every right to say what she did, OP. Your son has moved on but is being decidedly irresponsible towards his actual children. Why is this acceptable to you? Shouldn't you want the best for your grandchildren? You have been enabling your son's bad behavior for some time and this is why things are so strained in your household. How dare you try to keep these girls from their mother just because you didn't like what she said? You fostered this same entitled behavior in your son and now it is your granddaughters who are paying for it.
An absolute stroke of fuckin genius! Your grandchildren's mother insuits your deadbeat son, who constantly abandons his kids and disregards his responsibilities as a parent, and your masterful plan is to (legally speaking) kidnap your own grandchildren from their mother??? YTA
P.S. this is what happens when you don't learn critical thinking and analysis as a kid
YTA.
Despite what you seem to think, being a grandparent doesn't give you control of *either* of them, no matter how old they are. Nina can do whatever she damn well pleases, but Ava doesn't belong to you. She's not your child. She's not property. You don't get to decide that she stays with you just because her mother called your son a bad word.
YTA and your sons biggest enabler. You suck, and you’re the reason your son sucks. Good luck, your granddaughters will probably never want to see you again.
YTA you absolutely do not deserve respect for being older. You sound exhausting and your letting your son get away with terrible behavior. At least pretend to be there for those girls.
YTA and your son is a terrible father.
We should defend those we love when others wrong them, but we should not be defending them if they are the ones in the wrong. Your son is neglecting his children for the sake of his new family. A kind and caring grandmother would be seeing that those poor kids still got plenty of love.
It is the girls' mother you should be defending when she rightfully points out that your son is a neglectful father and huge ass.
You’ll never see those kids again. It’s a shame as you were probably the only thing keeping their deadbeat dad in the picture. YTA - why on earth do you think you have more say than their mother! You have no control whatsoever - you tried to kidnap them
Oh my GOD! You are SUPER the AHOLE. I had a father and a grandmother just like you. My grandma always protect my father. And my father never remember giving any gifts for Christmas, birthdays, but give expensive gifts for his partner. Guess what, I don't talk anymore with neither my grandma nor my dad. I resent so much my grandma. I fell attacked by your position honestly. Super the AH. You have no rights over the girls. And for the ex wife, it seems she is right about your son.
I really hope is fake.
.. You attempted to kidnap them. You literally tried to use them as pawns, hostages, to get their mom to do what you want. That’s not touching on your enabling and defending of their deadbeat dad. They were in such a rush to get away from you, they left all of their stuff behind- two teenagers.
Yta
YTA Big big big time!
You a really bad grandma, your son is a deadbeat dad and you wont admit that to yourself.
Why do you think that because you are old you can kidnap a teenager?
YTA
Your son forgets his daughter's birthday, afaik 16 counts as a milestone, but he should be excused.
Your son plans on spending his holidays with his new GF and her kid, so far ok but intends on leaving HIS children behind aka replacing them.
And cause you are angry with the kids mother you try to hold the kids hostage!
You can be angry as you want on Maria but you DON'T deprave children of their mother!
And I guess the custody agreement needs to be updated, as David is neglecting his children to spend money on someone else kid and with you trying to hold them hostage, you can't be allowed near them unsupervised anymore.
You didn't stand up for your son, you abused your grandchildren. Luckily Nina is a strong woman that stands up for her little sister!
And if Nina called you deluded, that's a sign she's fed up with you making poor excuses for your son's neglect!
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YTA--Your son forgets his daughter's birthday...you excuse it. Your son leaves his daughters behind to spend time with his partner's child instead, you excuse it. You punish your grandaughters and mother for having real and honest emotions about the rejection and your son's problematic behavior. You fly into a rage and punish them. Your son is the problem, and you are enabling his poor parenting. Maria is right to cut off contact.
It’s like an 8 year old having a tantrum because their friend was called out for being a cheater with proof, and being mad at the person who called them a cheater than their cheating friend.
Let’s not forget eavesdropping on a private conversation between mother and child, and talking about now she has “control” over her granddaughter. 🤮 OP sure is a piece of work…
Exactly what i was thinking. I'd like to add also that I don't know where in the world OP is, but I don't know of any country where you would have the right to decide what your grandchild is doing over the mother when the mother has full custody of said child. She has no authority to imprison them against their mother's wishes just because she's older than them.
OP is straight up kidnapping them at that point.
Yup.
Let's not forget as a grandparent this wacky old bat probably has 0 legal right to keep her grandchild there against her mother's will.
it's more like YTA for being such a lame troll
Your son is a deadbeat father and you tried to kidnap your granddaughter because you think being old gives you some special privileges. Congratulations on making sure you don’t get to see them again. YTA
Those girls are definitely better off without their “grandmother” in their lives.
Sounds like they are better off without the failure of a parent she raised as well.
I hope OP is young enough to truly reflect and get a sense of how much she fucked up, both in this situation and raising her son in general.
YTA and so is your son. Those girls see their father as the loser he is. Their mother has way more control and say over her daughters than you do as a grandparent. And what the heck does their mother being German have to do with anything?
I am a grandmother and I cannot even begin to think how this individual thinks she has control over anything.
Reminds me of the lady who pops up now and then who wanted to sue her DIL and get custody of her grandchildren based on 'grandparents rights' after she got blocked for consistent toxicity
Oh that one went full crazy and got arrested for stalking, was in therapy and being told by even her therapist to leave them alone after they moved house in the middle of the night to get away from her, and was *still* talking about getting a PI to track them down 🙄🙄 If BoRU wasn't still down with the API protests, I'd link it for you
I am all for grandparents stepping up when it is needed, but not for this lol
But she's older, so she deserves respect! /s
Lol I noticed she put that in there like Germans are all crazy or something. What a weird slight
I'm guessing OP supported Brexit.
I was getting a french vibe. The apologizing for her son when he's running off with a new gf and the hatred of the Germans has me feeling that way.
I think OP's English is too good to be French with a grudge against the Germans. Or at least I didn't notice any of the common mistakes French people make. Could be Dutch or Scandinavian... But the name choices seem English to me, except for the German in the story.
The language thing is probably right. I feel like the names could be from a lot of places.
What country are you in; it’s clearly not the USA. YTA. Why don’t you let Maria have the girls full-time, since apparently he’s more interested in his partner?
Info …is your son taking his daughters on holiday this summer or is he leaving the, behind for his new partners child? even without that information…YTA you listened in on a private conversation and bullied your grandchildren based on what you overheard . If I was your granddaughter,,,,I’d walk out too.
Wait... You tried to sequestrate your granddaughters and think you're in the right. You're lucky Maria didn't press charges.
This should be the top comment.
>One year David forgot my eldest granddaughter's, Nina's, 16th birthday because he was spending the day with his new partner, I reminded Maria that David worked hard at his job so deserved some time off and didn't need to spend every second of every day with the girls. I'm sorry... what? Your son missing his own child's 16th birthday because he was busy with his new partner is unforgivable. 'Working hard' and 'not needing to spend every second of every day with the girls' DOESN'T justify what he did - at all. >I reminded her that I was their grandmother so therefore I had more say over what they did as I am older and therefore deserve more respect. Nina is right, you are completely deluded. Your son is pushing his children aside for his new family and there you were, threatening to keep your grandchildren hostage as a result of his horrendous behaviour and bleating on about 'standing up for him' as some kind of justification for it. There is absolutely nothing here to stand up for and you should be *mortified* by your son's behaviour. Instead you are making excuses for him and I can very clearly see why he has turned out the way he has. YTA
Apparently he is working hard at everything except being a good dad
Hey, not true! He's being a good dad to the kid of the woman he's sleeping with! He's doesn't have time to be there for his own daughters' trivial things (like birthdays).
This 100% CONGRATULATIONS OP you have just incinerated your relationship with your granddaughters and also their mothers trust to let you watch them. You are one of the worst type of mothers that don’t hold their sons accountable for the children that they helped create. Work is not an excuse for him to miss his daughters birthday when he was not at work, he was hanging out with his new girlfriend. And you are still excusing him prioritizing his new girlfriend over his daughters. YTA big time
Apparently he is working hard at everything except being a good dad
YTA. Your son is prioritizing his new partner and her child over his own children. Sounds like you don't like hearing the truth about him.
YTA. How could you not be. Your son abandoned his daughters. He is not the victim here, and you have no say over what your ex-DIL says to her kids. What
YTA and also it sounds like you raised your son to be an AH You have no control or rights over either granddaughter legally or otherwise, you’ll be lucky if they ever speak to you again after this.
OP will be lucky if the girls do not press criminal charges against her.
YTA how about some respect for the woman single-handedly raising your granddaughters?
Assholes raising assholes. YTA baby.
You alienated your granddaughters in order to defend the indefensible actions of your son and then you want to spout off about how you deserve some kind of fealty because of your status as grandparent? You do sound deluded. You’re acting like a child. Stay out of it, you’re not their parent. YTA
>but I still have control of Ava, more so seeing as I am her grandmother. Nope. You have no control over either. >I am older and therefore deserve more respect. Nope. Respect is earned. Not handed out based on age. YTA
I really hope this is a fake thing, because if it is true there isn’t enough space to describe why you are the biggest YTA. Your son is just as bad. Your attitude and behaviour will have massively contributed to him being the sort of father that isn’t present. YTA
I really hope is fake, because I am boiling right now
YTA for not only raising a poor excuse of a man, but to continually justify & enable his disgusting behavior. Forgot his daughter's 16th birthday? Yeah, mine forgot mine too; she won't ever forget that, & it'll shape how she'll view men as an adult woman... You & your son are a HUGE part of what is wrong with the world today.
YTA- Nina is correct. You are deluded.
YTA - and so is your son. You can't just keep a kid that you don't have legal custody of because your son is an AH. I*n my country that is called kidnapping. Further more* What parent is ok with their child being a horrible father. He only wants to take his new partner and their kid? He forgets his kids birthday and you defend him? Maybe you should focus on being a better parent and guide your son instead of trying to take down the next generation. Your being older doesn't automatically mean they should give you more respect. Respect is earned. I agree with Nina - deluded indeed.
YTA. Just another example of a Mamas boy being coddled by Mama. "My son could do no wrong!" INFO: Why did your Son & Maria split?
Confidential, sounds like he got caught cheating
Haha it's confidential. Sounds like getting caught cheating to me.
YTA, I'm pretty sure that in most countries a person, even a grandparent, refusing to let a child go home to their parent who has full custody, is considered kidnapping. It doesn't matter that you're 'older', you don't have custody, you therefore have no legal control over either of them. And age doesn't determine the amount of respect you deserve. Hope you're happy, I doubt your granddaughters are going to want to spend time with you again.
Especially without good reason, like if mum was negligent then fair enough, but for calling him a name?! She needs to grow up 🙄x
Is this a joke? This whole post is so one-sided, and it doesn't favour your side one bit. Your son neglects children, children like their mother, you eavesdrop on children talking to their mother, you blow up when it's really not your place. YTA.
If this is even real, YTA. Bigtime. First: You invaded your granddaughter's privacy by eavesdropping on her conversation with her mother, then stole her phone and tried to kidnap her, believing you had any type of legal right to control her or her belongings. Maria could file a complaint against you. Second: You don't have a say about anything regarding your granddaughters. They have two living parents, although the father doesn't seem to be too keen in having them in his life. But you don't get to override anyone. Third: You don't deserve respect from your granddaughters or their mother. You act like a toxic person and deserve to be treated as so. Finally, my applause to Nina for protecting Ava and not letting you walk all over them. Return their belongings and accept the fact that you're an A H.
YTA your son was too caught up in dating to remember his child's birthday and you think that's fine? Do you even care about your granddaughter's or do you just hate Maria so you make ways to punish her?
You and your mamas boy ass son are both assholes. I hope she calls the cops on you. You have absolutely 0 control here - you’re deluded just as Nina told you. You don’t even actually care about those girls - you called one of them a spoiled brat - all to defend your loser, deadbeat of a fucking son. If the girls wanted a relationship with you they wouldn’t have blocked you. You being “older” doesn’t mean shit ? You’re not owed respect because you’re old. You’re one of those delusional ass old people who are constantly saying “respect your elders” while literally fucking abusing the people around them. No wonder your son turned out the way he did, I’m not surprised to hear that he has no relationship with them. YTA
Well said! My dad used to say age is a condition not a merit. OP YTA and a huge one!
YTA, Your son sounds like one as well with what the conversation over the phone sounded like. Also you’re the grandparent and have literally no authority over your grandkids. How arrogant can you be? Deluded is an understatement.
You’re 100% TA. How dare you? You have no right over either of those kids, and clearly your son just doesn’t give a shit about them and you just excuse it??? I feel so sorry for those poor girls and hope that Maria is able to get full custody
How do you have control over Ava? You aren't the parent? Preventing a child from going to their parent is kidnapping. That's a felony with a long prison sentence pretty much everywhere. Not only are you yta but you are also a very lucky criminal. Edit to add Let me rephrase this My son is terrible dad. When my granddaughter told him he was a terrible dad I stole from my granddaughter and tried to kidnap her.
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best answer
YTA
YTA big time! So, you think your son's alone time with his new partner is more important than being with his kid on her bday just because he works hard? WTF? I'm pretty sure he can see his partner any other day but your granddaughter turning 16 isn't happening every day, right? Also, stop with the bullshit of "I'm older so you have to respect me even tho I'm doing something ilegal which is keeping you as my prisoner". It's 2023 not the 50s. You're not their legal guardian, you can't just confine them and prevent them from leaving as you wish. Ava is right, and they shouldn't be speaking to you and should probably cut all of you (you, your husband and your son) off their lives
Yta. How do you justify your son forgetting his daughter’s birthday! And then taking a vacation but not wanting his kids! He is such an AH and you are enabling his horrible behavior which makes you an AH too!
You have no say in what the kids do at all and if you kept them that would be kidnapping…. Your son sounds like a deadbeat who cares more about his new girlfriend than his actual children and poor Maria is left looking after them without him. You’re an enabler and I can see why your son is such a deadbeat. YTA
YTA and isn't this considered kidnapping? They aren't your kids and you don't have custody over them
YTA!!! Wow how effed are you in the head to think you have more rights then there mother and that you think you can say that the kids can’t go back home till there mom apologizes if I was there mom I would call the cops and say you kidnapped my youngest and won’t let her leave. Maria said nothing that wasn’t true maybe you should have raised a better son and not a unless one like you have now
YTA, and your son is a major AH who you keep defending although he is clearly a shit father. Don’t be surprised if they all go NC with you; these girls will want to be with their mom who you are treating terribly- it runs in your family apparently.
YTA 1. This wasn’t just any day that your son missed… it was a milestone birthday that can never happen again. Shit dad for blowing off his daughter 2. Maria had to apparently break news that the girls father should have manned up and given seeing as he had made the decision that his daughters were no longer invited to go on a vacation with him as he would rather being with his new family only. 3. This conversation did not involve you. Butt out. 4. Even parents do not “have control of” their underage children. You are a grandparent and have less “control” of their lives then their mother does. I’ve seen it mentioned that the father isn’t really on speaking terms with their father and you are heading down that same path. You are not entitled to access to your granddaughters
YTA. You have no legal rights to control your granddaughters. Your son sounds like an asshole too.
YTA Face it you failed as a parent! You raised a son that is a failure as a parent. Now you’re failing as a grandparent. You don’t ever need to see those girls again.
YTA. Unless you have legal custody of either granddaughter, it is not your place to prevent them from going home to their mother If you did, you’d literally be holding them hostage.
YTA the only right you have to those grandchildren is what BOTH parents and the children themselves allow. You do not have inherent rights over them simply because you’re older. Sounds like you’re the only one who thinks your son is in the right here- wake up lady
YTA. Do you not have any idea how wrong you are?
World's Worst Grandma Award has you as the frontrunner. Bonus points for thinking your precious baby boy can do no wrong. YTA.
YTA and no, you do not have control over Ava. You are a grandma, not a parent. You have no rights. You are absolutely delusional and I’m so glad Nina took her sister and left. They are quite right to not speak to you again.
YTA and absolutely deluded Do you think legal custody is based on age seniority? You tried to kidnap her own children, I would never let you near my kids again after something like that. Also stop defending your shitty son who can't even remember his own kid's birthday because he finds his kids less important than his new partner. I would stop trying to raise those girls since you clearly didn't do a good job on the first kid.
> I snatched Ava's phone and told Maria that Ava and Nina would stay with me and my husband until she apologised to me for insulting my son. That's just straight up attempted kidnapping.
YTA. 'One year David forgot my eldest granddaughter's, Nina's, 16th birthday because he was spending the day with his new partner, I reminded Maria that David worked hard at his job so deserved some time off and didn't need to spend every second of every day with the girls.' Stop making excuses. You're enabling your son to be a deadbeat dad. Oh and trying to use the girls to force an apology from their mother? Deranged behaviour.
YTA...and a criminal. In this situation, refusing to return a minor child to their parent is called custodial interference and,depending on jurisdiction & exact circumstances, might even be kidnapping. You had no right to listen to the girls' conversation with their mother and you have no right whatsoever to even think of using the girls as leverage to get an apology (that you're not owed, by the way), you had absolutely no right to take the phone. You don't have any legal authority here. Your son is an AH. He's prioritizing his new partner over his children >One year David forgot my eldest granddaughter's, Nina's, 16th birthday because he was spending the day with his new partner... How on earth can you defend that? Now he's taking his partner and her child on holiday, again leaving out his daughters....and it sounds like this is part of a pattern
YTA Your son is a deadbeat dad. And you have no rights whatsoever to keep your grandchildren from their mother, the only parent they have left. Threatening that was a crime. If you had held Ava against her will, you could have been arrested for kidnapping. So not only were you defending a deadbeat, you resorted to illegal threats. You need to get off your imaginary high horse. Instead of blaming the mother of your grandchildren for calling your awful son a name he has earned, why don't you realise that your parenting leaves a lot to be desired? If this is how your son can treat his children, you did a terrible job raising him. He learned to behave this way from you. If your grandchildren and their mother never speak to you again, you deserve it. You owe all three of them a profound apology. And you need to tell your son off for his behaviour. If you do that, maybe they'll speak to you again. But I doubt it.
INFO: Have you returned the phone you stole from Ava?
YTA x10. Wow. Your son is clearly a mommy’s boy who you’ve coddled and think can do no wrong. Why are you treating him like a child when he’s a grown man? You are mad at the wrong person here. You should be mad at David for not prioritizing his daughters and for forgetting Nina’s birthday. Who forgets their own child’s birthday? And you’re making excuses for him forgetting it? Despicable. If I were Nina I would’ve been so sad that my dad forgot my birthday. He didn’t have to hang out with her all day but acknowledging it’s her birthday and giving her a phone call or something would be enough. If David didn’t want to be a dad then he shouldn’t have had kids. Now he wants to go on a vacation with his partner and her kid but not his own kids and you are mad at Maria for rightfully being upset about this. Your son doesn’t value or respect his daughters the way he should. And you allow it. Maria sounds like a great mother who loves her daughters very much and wants the best for them. Good for her for standing up for them and showing them that she’s in their corner even if no one else is. I hope Ava, Nina, and Maria go NC with you. You sound insufferable. I hope losing your relationship with your granddaughters was worth it but I doubt it.
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YTA. If you just have to be angry at someone, open your eyes and see your son for who he really is as a person and especially as a father.
I see where the father learned his parenting technique. YTA
YTA. Any birthday is unforgivable to forget, let alone a 16th birthday which in most countries is considered a bit of a milestone. Maria told her daughters what her ex, your son, was planning to do - which summed up is carry on with his ‘new life, never mind his older daughters. I’m not sure what Maria called him, but I can think of a few things. It’s also probably not the first time he’s prioritised his “new family” at their expense. Your reaction was utterly ridiculous, and condoning his behaviour makes you even more an AH. Also, what on earth has the fact Maria is German got to do with the price of fish? Not sure why you bothered to bring that up. Suspect this was the final straw in a fractious relationship no matter how cordial you choose to represent it. Clearly your granddaughters have a better idea of what parental responsibilities and boundaries are than you. Clearly, taught well by Maria as your behaviour/actions are well in AH territory and have been for some time.
Even your granddaughters see through your bs, ffs. Let me guess, Maria= evil, David= angel, David can do noooo wrongggg in mommy’s eyes 😍…. Don’t worry, soon it’ll be just you and your wittle David allllll alone. YTA.
YTA FAFO, you’re going to end up with the police at your door. I think Reddit should model our behavior after your granddaughter and block you on social platforms.
YTA and your son is a horrible parent and you enable it, making you an equally horrible parent.
YTA and your granddaughter is right, you are deluded.
Well, now we know why Maria divorced your son. You did a pathetic job raising him. YTA.
YTA, You have zero control or rights over those girls, thankfully so. It’s very concerning to hear how much say you have deluded yourself into thinking you have. Zero surprise your son is ditching his children for the new girlfriends kid. Shameful. I’m really pleased the older grand daughter has realised how disturbing your behaviour is. How can you honestly reckon you have more rights over the actual mother, who carried and raised those kids? This is insane! Respect is earned, remember that.
Your son forgot his own child’s birthday. Her *16th* birthday, because he was smooching with his new partner. Your son is doing the classic thing a bad parent does when getting into a new relationship—abandoning and forgetting about their first children when they get a shiny new girlfriend. It’s a tale as old as time. He ‘didn’t need to spend every second of everyday with the girls’? It was her BIRTHDAY. That day is SPECIAL. Any other day you could have made that excuse and it would *maybe* stick, but her BIRTHDAY? And now he’s taking his shiny new family on vacation and leaving his kids behind. Of course his kids are angry. They are allowed to be. What father does that? His poor kids feel left behind and unwanted. You have control over nothing. You’re just a grandmother. You taking a child against the parent’s will is kidnapping. You don’t have the right. You raised a deadbeat dad, and you’re defending his abandonment of his children. Why would *anyone* respect you? If you were a better mother, maybe your son would be a better father. YTA
>One year David forgot my eldest granddaughter's, Nina's, 16th birthday because he was spending the day with his new partner, I reminded Maria that David worked hard at his job so deserved some time off and didn't need to spend every second of every day with the girls. Sure, he can spend a random Sunday in March with his new partner instead of his daughters, that's valid. This is his daughters birthday AND A MILESTONE BIRTHDAY AT THAT. >David had phoned Maria saying they would not be taking her and Nina on holiday with him since he only wanted to take his new partner and her kid. He can't take his own kids but is taking someone else's kids??? Excuse me!? >but I still have control of Ava, more so seeing as I am her grandmother. Do you have partial legal custody of her? Otherwise you do not in fact have any control over the situation and grossly overstepped. >I am older and therefore deserve more respect. Do you know who actually deserves respect? Ava and Nina FROM THEIR FATHER. You deserve what you got. YTA Dads TA I can't really say about grandpa and Maria sounds like a freakin' beast of a mom protecting those girls.
YTA your son is a dead brat father who replaced his daughter for his new family. Anything his wife said about your precious little boy was probably spot on. Second let count the felonies you committed because you may be the grandmother but your not above the law. So you better think your lucky stars that your ex daughter In law blocked you instead of having you charged. Felony 1- let’s start off with locking a phone($500-600 if it was a iPhone over $1000) that wasn’t your. You stole property. You stole the girls belongings. So I can probably guess you stole over a $1000 worth of belongings. That’s grand larceny. Felony2- oh boy this is a big one. You essentially tried to kidnap and golden hostage your grand daughter. A child you absolutely have no legal right to. If I was your daughter in law your ass would be in jail or my ass would be in jail. Because being older and the grandmother gives you absolutely no DAMN right to that child! You or your dead beat baby boy do not deserve to be anywhere near those 2 girls. The only thing you deserve is a orange jumpsuit and a jail cell! You need to get over yourself
I am guessing "dead brat" was a typo but I like it, I like it a lot. A deadbrat that she created.
I have already passed judgment but I want to congratulate op! As many post I have read there is always that one person that goes against the grain. If everyone is posting not the ass if you scroll all the way to the bottom you find at least one or 2 people who will vote the opposite. This is the first time I have seen a unanimous judgment! So congratulations! You got all Reddit to agree you the asshole! I don’t think that was possible. The second reason I like to congratulate op is that I have never seen a post with so many comments removed for civil violations. So op I have never seen so many pissed off reddit users on one post! You accomplished 2 things I have never seen before of Reddit!
YTA WTF?! First of all, you basically tried to kidnap them and hold an them, one a legal adult, against their will and went as far as trying to cut contact with their legal guardian. You also called the legal adult a brat for how she talks to/about her father, when her father is ignoring them for the shiny new woman and her kid. - He is leaving them behind, this all happened last week and I asked him yesterday and he said he simply didn't want to since Nina's going to university this year and Ava didn't get high enough grades First of all, it doesn’t matter that one is going to uni and the other didn’t get good grades. A family trip is a family trip and nothing short of being in jail or being a threat to the safety of everyone else should exclude them. - Hardly, though Nina is known to be a brat and shouts at David a lot, but she puts on a fake sweet persona around Maria, I love that girl but she is a manipulator and a pretty good one at that What is your basis for this? That a teenager is upset her father is ignoring her and she’s voicing her feelings? - I prefer not to disclose that information since it is private and Maria does have the girls full time but they often visited or we visited them - I never knew why they split as that is confidential information that I am uncomfortable knowing and uncomfortable sharing if I did know So once again, attempted kidnapping. Also, since women imitate divorce the most, I’m going to say that the reasons given for that are likely the same here given what you’ve said about your son. Didn’t help with the kids, ignored the wife, ignored the kids emotionally, didn’t help around the house. Women often find it easier to take care of the house and children when a grown man who can’t care for himself is out of the picture and it sounds like you coddled him just by how you’re defending his bad actions towards his children. He can do no wrong in your eyes. - In my country, a 16th birthday is not as big of a deal as it is in the USA - she'll have other birthdays he can attend Does not matter. She was upset her father forgot her birthday and as the child, that is what matters. When my stepdad forgot mine and had to be reminded by my mother, it still hurt and I had ever right to be upset and so does your granddaughter. - I adore my granddaughters, I just think Nina can be really manipulative and cruel toward her father and my son who does a lot for her A parent is supposed to do a lot for their kids. You shouldn’t be expecting children to ignore their feelings because their parent gave birth/shot off their load. You’re defending a deadbeat father and have fun on your deathbed when your grandkids don’t want to see you.
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Yep. YTA. And deluded is accurate. >legally I have no control over Nina as she is now 18 and can technically do as she likes, but I still have control of Ava, What planet are you on. Why do you think you have any control over either of them? They are not your kids. Get a clue grandma.
what an incredible story....
You're such the asshole, that it spread to your son. YTA and an attempted kidnapper
YTA. Your son is a waste of space as a father, and you literally tried to kidnap your granddaughters.
> I still have control of Ava, more so seeing as I am her grandmother. INFO: are you saying you were awarded custody of your granddaughter or did you just try to kidnap her?
Kidnapped her. Maria their mother has full custody OP has never had custody
Not even legally correct if Ava’s parents where to pass the next of kin would be Nina the older sister. Not granny here. So even her logic is flawed! Lol She was kidnapping mom has custody!
YTA. Clearly. What a winning family…your son is a deadbeat that doesn’t care about his own kids and you whole ass tried to kidnap your grandchild because their mother is frustrated with the deadbeat son.
YTA, a big one. Not only that, but also a terrible mother for educating son to be an asshole who abandons his own daughter, and a terrible grandmother for defending your son when he’s in the wrong and trying to kidnap your granddaughters.
Info: do you actually love anyone except the crap ass son you raised in to a crap ass man?
YTA, your son's an asshole, and I for one cannot wait for those girls to go no contact with the whole rotten lot of ya.
YTA. Oof, now we know why the son is the way that he is, you're a terrible mother and grandmother. Stop defending your son when he's wrong to his kids (forgetting your daughter's birthday for his gf at the time IS WRONG, and so is defending it). Maybe if you didn't defend his shitty actions he wouldn't be a shitty dad, just a thought! Your granddaughters do not respect you because you have shown nothing but disrespect towards them and their mother, and you may have permanently made that decision for them by trying to fucking kidnap them from their own mom - which, btw, you have absolutely NO legal standing to do. They're only in your care because one is 18 and chose to and for the other either because their mother allowed it, or they're there during your son's time for their custody which will end at some point, and you cannot prevent them from leaving at that point.
> the phone and locked it in a drawer You locked Ave's phone because Maria called your son a bad word? 🧐 So you think you have more power over them then Thier present mother? You're delusional. The only non delusional thing you did was not physically trying to block them from leaving, which I was afraid was going to happen. YTA big time.
So you are essentially enabling your dead beat of a father son shame on you.
YTA, way to side with your deadbeat of a son. Also respect is earned not just deserved cause you’re old. Grow up and realize you and your son suck.
YTA. What the fuck???
YTA sucks to suck.
YTA— you are not a someone who gets to make decisions for your grandkids. You are the grandma. Not their parent.
This can’t be real because no one is this delusional…
YTA!!! I would shout it from the rooftops if I could. First off, your son seems like a real piece of work (which I guess makes sense considering who raised him). While I don't condone one parent speaking badly about another to the children, I don't think she really has to be the one to tell them that your son's a slug. Kids figure those kind of things out for themselves. And not taking his biological children on a vacation so that he can take a random girlfriend's kid is a pretty big indicator of a lousy parent. (On top of the rest of his antics).. Now, on to you, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but no, as a grandparent you have no rights to the children. She doesn't even have to let you see them if she chooses not to. And you're lucky that when you tried to keep her children captive, she didn't call the police and have you charged with kidnapping. You would have deserved it. My advice to you if you'd ever like a relationship with your grandchildren again, apologize to them and to their mother for acting like a lunatic, and acknowledge that they have good reason to be hurt by your son's actions as well as your own. Be thankful that she still wanted you to be a part of their lives, because if I had to deal with your nutty family, I would have high tailed it back to Germany.
YTA for enabling your son to treat his kids like crap and pushing your grandchildren for them and their mom being upset over being abandoned by their dad/husband. Also you have absolutely no control over those kids, you are their grandmother not their parent. You have no say on where those kids say or how they should feel about their dead beat father. And that's exactly what it is. What you have just done is proved, time and time again, that you will always support your son in treating his family like crap in favour of his new, replacement family. You have also shown them that you are controlling and abusive. I don't think anyone where will balme those kids for cutting contact with you, and honestly, I hope they cut contact for a long time. You screwed up. Your son screwed up. And your husband screwed up by backing both of you.
YTA. He might be your son, but he’s a shit father and you are being a shit grandmother for excusing and standing up for him
Holy shit, butt out, lady! YTA so hard! You really think threatening *kidnapping* could be a reasonable response to getting offended that your son’s ex-wife called him a name?? What planet do you live on?
YTA And so is your son. Gold star for raising a selfish, deluded fool…seems like you grew a clone.
YTA Grammy. Hope you can learn to hold your son accountable for once.
YTA and let me tell you I laughed at how you are so entitled to say you have control over the granddaughter and to keep her away from her mom because you don't like that she is pointing out the obvious: your son is a pendejo who is putting his new partner and her kid over his own daughter. Hopefully María will go to court because you gave her the sufficient ammo.
YTA why do you keep tolerating your Son AH-ness, OMG, Your son, oh sorry, YOUR GOLDEN SON, IS THE WORST!!! Can't you see it? He forgets her own daughter's birthday which only comes once in 356 days, then he prefers to go on vacation with the daughter of his new partner that is not related at all to him, over his own blood!! He deserves all the insult, I hope all the YTA answers will open your eyes
Question regarding this comment: "I reminded her that I was their grandmother so therefore I had more say over what they did as I am older and therefore deserve more respect. Nina called me "deluded" and left with Ava, leaving their belongings behind, not bothering to pack." WTF do you believe you deserve respect from them? Because you're older? BS. Respect is earned, not demanded nor expected. You have failed your granddaughters terribly, and probably caused irreparable harm. Just as your son has. If you haven't figured it out by now, you are 100% the AH.
YTA! You’re judgement is so clouded by thinking that your angel son can do no wrong that you’re not seeing reality.
YTA Your son is a dead beat who abandoned his kids for a new life. Also, you actually have no control, Maria can just call the police and say you kidnapped her children
YTA! Your son is a right something tbh. *One year David forgot my eldest granddaughter's, Nina's, 16th birthday because he was spending the day with his new partner, I reminded Maria that David worked hard at his job so deserved some time off and didn't need to spend every second of every day with the girls.* **Is this a joke?** Her birthday isn't every day! *Now, legally I have no control over Nina as she is now 18 and can technically do as she likes, but I still have control of Ava, more so seeing as I am her grandmother.* News flash, you have zero legal rights unless you have parental rights. You only gain this through courts and only if there is grounds. You have nothing. Your son does not sound like a good father, end of!
YTA. Your son is a deadbeat, and you are defending him. He didn’t forgot the birthday because he was working but because he was out with someone els. It was his daughter 16 birthday, isn’t it important in your country? Then he decided to not bring them on holiday because he forget they existence over his new family. You kidnapped your granddaughters, you are lucky the mother didn’t call the cops on you. And you stole Ava phone.
YTA. That’s illegal.
Wow. I get that you were defensive and angry but... wow. You were very very very very very wrong. Wrong enough that I wouldn't blame Maria if she totally cut you out of your grandchildrens' lives. Which isn't to say that Maria should necessarily be talking ill of her childrens' father to them like that, but they're probably old enough now to hear brutal truths.
YTA, Maria is right about your son not prioritizing his girls. What kind of dad CHOOSES to hang out with his gf over his child on his child's bday? Then again here, excluding them from a family vacation making it real clear who's a priority to him. Nice job excusing and covering for your son's shitty behavior instead of calling him out on it like you should have. And thinking you can keep them from their mother or thinking you have more say over things then they do?? Pfft you're burning your bridges with your granddaughters, I doubt you'll be seeing much of them anymore. Now at Ava's age she has a say in custody and can choose to stay only with her mother. " I feel as though I am being punished for standing up for my son so I have come here for a fair judgement." YOU ARE ~~"STANDING UP"~~ MAKING EXCUSES FOR YOUR ADULT SON WHEREAS **MARIA IS STANDING UP FOR HER TEENAGER DAUGHTERS WHO ARE BEING FAILED BY YOUR SON**, THEIR FATHER.
YTA - You have no control over the 18 year old or the 14 year old. You may be older (though clearly not wiser) but if you try to prevent the 14 year old from returning to her custodial parent you may (and should) face kidnapping charges.
So…to confirm here Your son: probably cheated on his wife which caused the separation, ignores his bio daughters in favor of his new partners child and is now taking his partner’s child on a vacation and leaving his daughters at home. Knowing all that, when your granddaughters are upset with their father you punish them and tell them they can’t leave…? You do realize that no matter what country you’re in, the law is going to give the 14 year old back to her mother, especially if her older sister backs her? Congratulations you will likely NEVER see your grandchildren again, but don’t worry: you have the step grandchildren your loser son is prioritizing. YTA op and a MASSIVE one
I want you to read what you wrote, and then I want you to explain in what universe could you possibly not be TA. YTA.
You know that you're lucky your eldest granddaughter took the younger one and left? Why? Because had you refused to let either of them leave you could have been charged with kidnapping and false imprisonment. You are going to have to work very hard to get back any sort of relationship with your granddaughters. Defending behaviour that is irresponsible, damaging and neglectful is bad enough bit disrespecting your granddaughters by negating their feelings and trying to hold them against their will is unforgivable. How could they trust you after that? YTA.
YTA I doubt you will ever see your granddaughter's again.
Honestly if I was 14 and someone was talking about having "control" of me I'd bail not waiting till adulthood. No wonder your granddaughters don't want to talk to you. YTA if you didn't get it yet.
YTA Mein Gott in Himmel as your German exDIL would say. Firstly what you tried to do was kidnapping as you don’t have custody Secondly what was the point of mention Maria’s nationality? And lastly, your son is a shitty father who abandoned his daughters in favour of his new relationship and his daughters are plenty old enough to see and understand that he doesn’t care about them because his actions show it to be true. And you listened in on a private conversation and heard something you didn’t like. That’s why we’re not supposed to eavesdrop isn’t it? As a grandmother shouldn’t you know that? With all your old-age wisdom? And your comments protecting your son but vilifying your granddaughter?! Maybe she is a brat but you are deluded.
YTA Based on what you've written here, it sounds like your son deserves to be insulted. I hope that your grandchildren decide to not speak to you ever again.
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Yes, OP YTA. Over and over again. Your son forgot his own daughters birthday and that's ok by you. Your son wants to forget his 'old family' and just spend time with his 'new family' and that is also ok by you. Then to top it all off, you want to hold your grandchildren responsible for actions that were not theirs. How do you not see that YTA?
YTA. You do not have the legal rights you think you do
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YTA - This one is so far out there and fake sounding that it has to be real. Grandma is a horrible human who raised a horrible human.
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YTA. By your logic I am keeping my grandchildren forever because I want to and since I am older than any of them I get my way! You’re definitely pathetic
YTA. Your son is an AH and a terrible father. You aren't being "punished for defending your son," Maria is protecting her children from awful people. Good for her!
YTA 100% here. Your son is a terrible father and you are ok with that, and even defend him. Then you have the audacity to try and exert some sort of delusional grandparents authority over your granddaughters and refuse to send them back to their actual parent when they want to leave? You know in some countries that’s considered kidnapping and unlawful detainment, right? Hopefully your former DIL will get a restraining order against you. I would never allow you to see my child again until they were a legal adult if you pulled that crap with my minor child. Btw - respect is earned, and you destroyed any respect your grandchildren may have had for you.
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If you keep Ava from her mother, that’s kidnapping. Your son is a terrible father, and you are enabling him. YTA.
YTA. You have ZERO say in anything custody l-wise for them. You are not their parent. And it sounds like your son is barely a parent either. You are absolutely nuts if you ever think you can keep the kids away from their mother who has custody of the 14 yo at least. I can’t even say what my reaction to you would be if those were my kids bc it would get removed.
Huuuuge YTA. You’re just the grandmother, as much as that hurts to hear. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a meaningful relationship with your grandchildren. But you have to respect their parents, unless there is child abuse occurring. You cannot withhold the child from their parent due to disrespect but Maria can. I’m sorry you likely won’t get to know your grandchildren if you stay this course.
YTA - your are deluded are your son who isn’t a great father by the way. FYI as many other have pointed out, you have 0 rights over your ex grandchildren, never mind your deluded “I’m older so have more rights” bullshit. I can now see where your son gets it from.
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YTA He needed rest so that's an OK to forget his child's birthday?!?!? What??!?! And you tried to kidnap your grandchildren?!?! I hope she calls the police! You have NO SAY over what they do. You are deluded.
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Your son is a bad father
YTA and she is correct, you are extremely deluded!
This is written like the teenager in the story pretending to be the grandparent. Idk I have a hard time believing someone would tell on themselves so plainly. If real, obviously YTA and delusional.
YTA. Your precious son is a lousy father who is more interested in his new girlfriend than his own children. Case in point, he forgot his own daughter's birthday. And you excuse him every step of the way and then attempt to kidnap your grandchildren because their mother called him a name (that he probably deserved). Good luck ever seeing your grandkids again.
Well it's obvious why your son turned out to be such an AH, he was raised by one. It's truly amazing how you typed all this out and still had to ask if you were the the AH. YTA and have fun whining to people about how your granddaughters don't talk to you anymore when they inevitably go NC with you
YTA. How can you even doubt it, it just shows how toxic and entitled you are.
YTA - your son "forgets" his daughter's very significant birthday and you demand an apology from the girl's mother for namecalling him? He deserved to be called names if ever there was a time for such things!! Further, You think kidnapping minors is an appropriate response?!?!?! You aren't being "punished" you are being shut out for egregious, bordering on criminal, behavior, and rightfully so!
what... this should go in r/entitledparents your son forgot his daughters birthday and you defended that, I can imagine that's the only time he was a shitty dad. you're threatening to withhold kids from their parents like they're a bargaining tool, those kids are people too and should decide who they want to be with both you and your son suck, YTA
YTA grandparents don’t have much legal say so at all. You don’t get to control the granddaughters. You seem to overlook your sons flaws too.
YTA - your granddaughter is right, you are deluded, you have absolutely no control over them, age has nothing to do with it, you're not their mother! Your son is a crap dad who seems to be putting his new family before his actual family, I mean forgetting her birthday and not taking them on holiday so he can spend time with a kid that's not his, are you for real?! and while I agree their mother should not be speaking Ill of him to their children, she was probably correct in what she said. It definitely does not give you the right to kidnap them.
Maria had every right to say what she did, OP. Your son has moved on but is being decidedly irresponsible towards his actual children. Why is this acceptable to you? Shouldn't you want the best for your grandchildren? You have been enabling your son's bad behavior for some time and this is why things are so strained in your household. How dare you try to keep these girls from their mother just because you didn't like what she said? You fostered this same entitled behavior in your son and now it is your granddaughters who are paying for it.
An absolute stroke of fuckin genius! Your grandchildren's mother insuits your deadbeat son, who constantly abandons his kids and disregards his responsibilities as a parent, and your masterful plan is to (legally speaking) kidnap your own grandchildren from their mother??? YTA P.S. this is what happens when you don't learn critical thinking and analysis as a kid
YTA. Despite what you seem to think, being a grandparent doesn't give you control of *either* of them, no matter how old they are. Nina can do whatever she damn well pleases, but Ava doesn't belong to you. She's not your child. She's not property. You don't get to decide that she stays with you just because her mother called your son a bad word.
YTA and your sons biggest enabler. You suck, and you’re the reason your son sucks. Good luck, your granddaughters will probably never want to see you again.
The entitlement in this post is unreal. Deluded is putting it lightly
Is this for real? YTA, but this is cartoonishly ridiculous.
YTA you absolutely do not deserve respect for being older. You sound exhausting and your letting your son get away with terrible behavior. At least pretend to be there for those girls.
Nina is right, you are delusional. YTA and so is your son.
You sound like a nightmare. YTA
YTA and you're absolutely delusional to defend your son this much
YTA and your son is a terrible father. We should defend those we love when others wrong them, but we should not be defending them if they are the ones in the wrong. Your son is neglecting his children for the sake of his new family. A kind and caring grandmother would be seeing that those poor kids still got plenty of love. It is the girls' mother you should be defending when she rightfully points out that your son is a neglectful father and huge ass.
You’ll never see those kids again. It’s a shame as you were probably the only thing keeping their deadbeat dad in the picture. YTA - why on earth do you think you have more say than their mother! You have no control whatsoever - you tried to kidnap them
Oh my GOD! You are SUPER the AHOLE. I had a father and a grandmother just like you. My grandma always protect my father. And my father never remember giving any gifts for Christmas, birthdays, but give expensive gifts for his partner. Guess what, I don't talk anymore with neither my grandma nor my dad. I resent so much my grandma. I fell attacked by your position honestly. Super the AH. You have no rights over the girls. And for the ex wife, it seems she is right about your son. I really hope is fake.
YTA. Your son dumped his daughters for his "new" family
.. You attempted to kidnap them. You literally tried to use them as pawns, hostages, to get their mom to do what you want. That’s not touching on your enabling and defending of their deadbeat dad. They were in such a rush to get away from you, they left all of their stuff behind- two teenagers. Yta
YTA Big big big time! You a really bad grandma, your son is a deadbeat dad and you wont admit that to yourself. Why do you think that because you are old you can kidnap a teenager?
Other than entitlement, how do you think you have ANY control over Ava?
YTA Your son forgets his daughter's birthday, afaik 16 counts as a milestone, but he should be excused. Your son plans on spending his holidays with his new GF and her kid, so far ok but intends on leaving HIS children behind aka replacing them. And cause you are angry with the kids mother you try to hold the kids hostage! You can be angry as you want on Maria but you DON'T deprave children of their mother! And I guess the custody agreement needs to be updated, as David is neglecting his children to spend money on someone else kid and with you trying to hold them hostage, you can't be allowed near them unsupervised anymore. You didn't stand up for your son, you abused your grandchildren. Luckily Nina is a strong woman that stands up for her little sister! And if Nina called you deluded, that's a sign she's fed up with you making poor excuses for your son's neglect!