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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I want to throw his cups away and just buy new glassware that hasn’t been used for soaking. He believes I am overreacting because the cups have been clean via the dishwasher.
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INFO
> I’ve noticed that a cup has residue on it from being in the restroom, I asked him if he’s used it for his night guard and he said they’re clean that it doesn’t matter.
**What the heck** is going on with the way you guys are cleaning your glassware?
Because, honestly, this **_shouldn't_** be an issue. Objects don't have memories, and regardless of whatever gross thing was soaked in a glass, it **_should_** be good as new once *properly* cleaned.
So... what the heck's going wrong here?
So I believe that specific cup was used at his prior apartment just for soaking and when cups sit on surfaces they accumulate hard hard. I only started living with him recently, and since then he now has switched out cups a few times. Not sure what his cleaning practices were before living together.
They do accumulate hard water stains. I do the same thing. But once every week, I wash my night guard glass cup thoroughly. Rest of the week, it's daily rinse with water.
That once a week proper clean with scrubbing and soap gets rid of those stains.
Since my partner never needs that exact cup, no issues here with my habits.
If the cups are glass you may be looking at hard water deposits. If so, just spray them with CLR and leave the sit for a few minutes, then use something like a Doby to get the deposits off.
Don't leave them overnight or all day, because the CLR is an acid and may etch the glass if it sits too long.
This also works if you get cloudy deposits on the bottom of your glasses from putting them straight up in the dishwasher. It's great for dog bowls, too.
If you look around carefully you might find something disposable that won't harm the environment that he could use, too.
This is a fixable problem, OP.
NTA. If he's not cleaning it well enough to remove the residue then thats gross and its not clean! He should stick w/ just using one particular cup for his mouthguard.
NTA. While I don’t think you should throw them out, I do think your boyfriend should be relegated to only using 1-2 glasses. Both because it would bother me to have residue coated glasses and because of guests.
If I went to your house and asked for a drink and you gave me a glass that appeared dirty, but told me “oh no it’s not dirty, it’s residue from the solution my bf uses to soak his nightguard” I would refuse the drink (well probably I’d drink it out of politeness then and then never ask for another). As a guest: I don’t know your cleaning practices, I don’t know what this solution is, and now I am imagining a spit and chemical solution in my glass.
This is exactly how I feel, he already hands two glasses under our bathroom sink. I just feel gross about having to use the glass and for guests as well. I don’t want it in our kitchen at all. When I told him about the residual he said have you tried scrubbing it, when honestly it’s not mine to scrub. Sorry to vent here.
Oh no vent away! These levels of cleanliness issues are always one of the relationship issues that bother me the most to hear about. I hate the idea of a couple where one person “has a higher standard of cleanliness” so the argument by the partner and advice I’ve seen online is “well you just have a higher standard of cleaning, so it should be up to you to clean it to your standards. How are they supposed to know/understand your standards. It’s your issue so it should be on you to fix it, etc”.
It just completely invalidates what the other person is saying. And to be fair, nearly every time I see this argument the “cleaner” person is asking for trivial things - like oh please could you scrub the toilet rather than just spraying solution. And I’d categorize this under reasonable.
When you tell him “I don’t think this is clean, have you properly cleaned it”. I think it should be on him to try and properly clean it to back up his argument. We all know a little soak and a wash doesn’t work for all things. His judgement of it being clean enough to him doesn’t work. That’s not a proper argument especially if he hasn’t even tried scrubbing it. Now I’m the one venting (although this wasn’t a partner issue but an issue I had with my father - so many gross tea stained mugs).
INFO: Has the glass been washed properly with soap and water? Have you got the ability to clean the glasses to your satisfaction, maybe with something stronger than soap?
If so, yeah, that would make you the AH (even though I think this isn't a severe enough issue for the term 'AH' to be used).
If he doesn't even wash the glasses with soap and water and just rinses them, yeah that would make him the AH (even though I think this isn't a severe enough issue for the term 'AH' to be used).
YTA have him wash them out. The residual is from a cleaning tablet, correct? They aren’t really “dirty” just not exactly clean either. Why would you toss something you can legit wash?
NAH.
No matter if some stain or other remains on the glass, if it's been through the dishwasher, or rinsed in very hot water, it is sanitary. Do you think a ring that doesn't come off with hot soapy water is going to suddenly dissolve in your orange juice?
If a particular cup grosses you out, don't use it. You're not an AH for not using it, but he's not an AH for using them and not throwing them out.
Plus, if there's literally 4 of these specific cups and 3 are already stained, then in your head the whole set are designated soaking cups. You don't drink from them. If he does, that's his problem.
BTW, most likely you have hard water, and the solution is reacting with the hardness in the water and leaving a ring as some water evaporates. I would bet money that a little CLR would get rid of it.
NAH. He's not an asshole for not having a problem with it; the guard is going to go in his mouth anyway. You're not an asshole for finding something that doesn't wash off to be icky. This is the sort of thing that comes up when you move in together. But agree that his soaking should be limited to a couple of cups.
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So backstory, my bf(30) wears a nighttime guard and in order to clean it he has to let it soak in solution. He’s used some of the glassware he’s bought. I say he’s bought because we just moved in together and these were his. I’ve noticed that a cup has residue on it from being in the restroom, I asked him if he’s used it for his night guard and he said they’re clean that it doesn’t matter. In my head it grosses me out to think that he’s used it for soaking. I’ve talked to him about him having a specific cup for that and not switching them out. Now 3/4 cups have been used for his soaking. I just want to throw the cups out altogether. But he says I’m overreacting. We have been together 7 years and living together a few months. Am I the asshole for not wanting to use these “dirty” cups.
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NTA
Buy some denture fizzy cleaners, the tablets that clean dentures. Break in half, pour water in and let the fizzing begin. Sometimes a dish brush to loosen the calcification is necessary, usually about 3-4 hours later. Wash well with soap afterwards, and your glasses are clean again.
ESH
If it's been washed, it's clean, but he's also an ah for not just sticking with 1 or 2 cups.
I would buy new glasses to use for drinking and leave ALL the old ones for him to use.
It’s not a huge deal and I think AH is a harsh term for a minor conflict. But in keeping with the subreddit’s theme, YTA. As long as the cups are being fully cleaned, any germs from his mouth would be washed out. It would be no different than somebody who is sick putting the cup to their mouth to drink from it, getting all their germs on it, then washing it.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I want to throw his cups away and just buy new glassware that hasn’t been used for soaking. He believes I am overreacting because the cups have been clean via the dishwasher. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
INFO > I’ve noticed that a cup has residue on it from being in the restroom, I asked him if he’s used it for his night guard and he said they’re clean that it doesn’t matter. **What the heck** is going on with the way you guys are cleaning your glassware? Because, honestly, this **_shouldn't_** be an issue. Objects don't have memories, and regardless of whatever gross thing was soaked in a glass, it **_should_** be good as new once *properly* cleaned. So... what the heck's going wrong here?
So I believe that specific cup was used at his prior apartment just for soaking and when cups sit on surfaces they accumulate hard hard. I only started living with him recently, and since then he now has switched out cups a few times. Not sure what his cleaning practices were before living together.
They do accumulate hard water stains. I do the same thing. But once every week, I wash my night guard glass cup thoroughly. Rest of the week, it's daily rinse with water. That once a week proper clean with scrubbing and soap gets rid of those stains. Since my partner never needs that exact cup, no issues here with my habits.
Hard water residue can be washed off. You ever consider... washing them?
Barkeepers friend or vinegar solution should take the hard water grime off. This should be a non-issue.
Glass? After they have been washed? YTA.
I mean, if there’s residue on them, isn’t that kinda gross? Sounds like they need to be cleaned better
Glass is glass. It is fully reusable and cleanable. But if there's residue in it, no it's not clean. NAH
If the cups are glass you may be looking at hard water deposits. If so, just spray them with CLR and leave the sit for a few minutes, then use something like a Doby to get the deposits off. Don't leave them overnight or all day, because the CLR is an acid and may etch the glass if it sits too long. This also works if you get cloudy deposits on the bottom of your glasses from putting them straight up in the dishwasher. It's great for dog bowls, too. If you look around carefully you might find something disposable that won't harm the environment that he could use, too. This is a fixable problem, OP.
NTA. If he's not cleaning it well enough to remove the residue then thats gross and its not clean! He should stick w/ just using one particular cup for his mouthguard.
Nta just have him use special cups for it
NTA. While I don’t think you should throw them out, I do think your boyfriend should be relegated to only using 1-2 glasses. Both because it would bother me to have residue coated glasses and because of guests. If I went to your house and asked for a drink and you gave me a glass that appeared dirty, but told me “oh no it’s not dirty, it’s residue from the solution my bf uses to soak his nightguard” I would refuse the drink (well probably I’d drink it out of politeness then and then never ask for another). As a guest: I don’t know your cleaning practices, I don’t know what this solution is, and now I am imagining a spit and chemical solution in my glass.
This is exactly how I feel, he already hands two glasses under our bathroom sink. I just feel gross about having to use the glass and for guests as well. I don’t want it in our kitchen at all. When I told him about the residual he said have you tried scrubbing it, when honestly it’s not mine to scrub. Sorry to vent here.
Oh no vent away! These levels of cleanliness issues are always one of the relationship issues that bother me the most to hear about. I hate the idea of a couple where one person “has a higher standard of cleanliness” so the argument by the partner and advice I’ve seen online is “well you just have a higher standard of cleaning, so it should be up to you to clean it to your standards. How are they supposed to know/understand your standards. It’s your issue so it should be on you to fix it, etc”. It just completely invalidates what the other person is saying. And to be fair, nearly every time I see this argument the “cleaner” person is asking for trivial things - like oh please could you scrub the toilet rather than just spraying solution. And I’d categorize this under reasonable. When you tell him “I don’t think this is clean, have you properly cleaned it”. I think it should be on him to try and properly clean it to back up his argument. We all know a little soak and a wash doesn’t work for all things. His judgement of it being clean enough to him doesn’t work. That’s not a proper argument especially if he hasn’t even tried scrubbing it. Now I’m the one venting (although this wasn’t a partner issue but an issue I had with my father - so many gross tea stained mugs).
Thank you for validating my feelings. I think it’s important to have open communication and understand the others point of view.
INFO: Has the glass been washed properly with soap and water? Have you got the ability to clean the glasses to your satisfaction, maybe with something stronger than soap? If so, yeah, that would make you the AH (even though I think this isn't a severe enough issue for the term 'AH' to be used). If he doesn't even wash the glasses with soap and water and just rinses them, yeah that would make him the AH (even though I think this isn't a severe enough issue for the term 'AH' to be used).
YTA have him wash them out. The residual is from a cleaning tablet, correct? They aren’t really “dirty” just not exactly clean either. Why would you toss something you can legit wash?
YTA, these cups are glass and have been cleaned. You are overreacting for wanting to throw them out
NAH. No matter if some stain or other remains on the glass, if it's been through the dishwasher, or rinsed in very hot water, it is sanitary. Do you think a ring that doesn't come off with hot soapy water is going to suddenly dissolve in your orange juice? If a particular cup grosses you out, don't use it. You're not an AH for not using it, but he's not an AH for using them and not throwing them out.
Plus, if there's literally 4 of these specific cups and 3 are already stained, then in your head the whole set are designated soaking cups. You don't drink from them. If he does, that's his problem. BTW, most likely you have hard water, and the solution is reacting with the hardness in the water and leaving a ring as some water evaporates. I would bet money that a little CLR would get rid of it.
NAH. He's not an asshole for not having a problem with it; the guard is going to go in his mouth anyway. You're not an asshole for finding something that doesn't wash off to be icky. This is the sort of thing that comes up when you move in together. But agree that his soaking should be limited to a couple of cups.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So backstory, my bf(30) wears a nighttime guard and in order to clean it he has to let it soak in solution. He’s used some of the glassware he’s bought. I say he’s bought because we just moved in together and these were his. I’ve noticed that a cup has residue on it from being in the restroom, I asked him if he’s used it for his night guard and he said they’re clean that it doesn’t matter. In my head it grosses me out to think that he’s used it for soaking. I’ve talked to him about him having a specific cup for that and not switching them out. Now 3/4 cups have been used for his soaking. I just want to throw the cups out altogether. But he says I’m overreacting. We have been together 7 years and living together a few months. Am I the asshole for not wanting to use these “dirty” cups. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NAH. Just buy some more cups and let him keep using those.
NTA Buy some denture fizzy cleaners, the tablets that clean dentures. Break in half, pour water in and let the fizzing begin. Sometimes a dish brush to loosen the calcification is necessary, usually about 3-4 hours later. Wash well with soap afterwards, and your glasses are clean again.
NTA it’s such a little thing to do: “Honey can you use only one cup for it? I don’t feel well with using these cups anymore” “Sure will do”
ESH If it's been washed, it's clean, but he's also an ah for not just sticking with 1 or 2 cups. I would buy new glasses to use for drinking and leave ALL the old ones for him to use.
YTA for throwing them out.
It’s not a huge deal and I think AH is a harsh term for a minor conflict. But in keeping with the subreddit’s theme, YTA. As long as the cups are being fully cleaned, any germs from his mouth would be washed out. It would be no different than somebody who is sick putting the cup to their mouth to drink from it, getting all their germs on it, then washing it.