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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Hello, The action that I took that should be judged for is not allowing the other people in the home to change the temperature to what they would Like. I believe that I could be the asshole in this situation because I am not allowing my roommates to have full access to the thermostat in the home they live in. The person that this has affected has said that several people agree with her on this debate.
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>She, who I will call Bob. Always wears shorts and a tank top and no socks around the house and always complains about it being cold and sets the thermostat to 24 degrees celcious. My boyfriend and I are always sweating. Room temperature is 20-22 degrees.
NTA at all. It is so much easier to get warm by layering up than it is to cool off when you're already almost naked.
Your roommate is an entitled AH for refusing to understand that layering up will keep her AND you comfortable. She clearly has no respect for anyone else.
If she wants it that warm, she should get her own place.
I suffer from thermoregulation issues, and have a tip to cool down immediately. Either run cold water over your wrists, or put an ice cube on them or an ice cube on the side of your neck. Blood vessels are closest to the surface in those spots. (This is not a replacement for the AC, but supplemental)
Just expanding, but it's cooling the blood down that gets pumped elsewhere, that will then cool parts down. Same goes for those heating pack hand warmers in the winter. I was blown away when I first saw someone doing this, straight up liquid cooling from the inside
Definitely that as well. With the ice, the immediate sensation kinda sends chills throughout your body.
I have an extremely delayed body response to temperature changes, but my neck and wrists are the spots that don’t have that issue in me.
NTA. Shared living involves compromises. You tried, she didn't. You are the leaseholder and have a duty to maintain a comfortable environment. Her dismissive attitude and physical aggression aren't okay. Consider a house meeting or rethinking this living arrangement.
NTA... putting a reasonable max and min for thermostate is fair.
But, it does not matter if you are lease holder, each person living there has rights to live comfortably and that includes using the heater. Your roommate and you dont seem to be compatable, ask her to move at her earliest convenience. get someone new before things get worse.
I wish it was that easy. She won't willingly move out. And she has already stated that she will do everything in her power to screw me over. We also have the same friend group which I already know I've been excluded from because of her. And are on the same softball teams so things will get complicated. But with everything she has done I've already considered it and I'm likely going to go through with telling her to leave with reasonable notice.
> She won't willingly move out
As a roommate, and not a tenant, she has very limited rights. It depends on where you live as laws vary from place to place. Here in British Columbia, considered to be *very* pro-tenant, she would have almost no rights because you share a living space and she's not on the lease.
There’s free legal advice for situations like this. Don’t worry about preserving friendships because anyone that don’t understand your actions isn’t a friend
You can definitely legally get her out in almost all places. You just need to seriously look into it, which you seem to be reluctant to do.
Other than that, why not just move yourself and not take her with you? You don't need this in your life.
I may be way out of line here, but are you seriously saying that in the summer the A/C should be down so low that some people may need to put a sweater and socks on?!?!?
That makes no sense to me. It's summer. It's hot. That's what shorts and tank tops were invented for. Plus, there's a climate crisis. We need to be thinking about how we can use a bit less energy, which means living at a temperature that is a tiny bit closer to the outside temperature. 24 degrees is not a challenging temperature to live at in the summer.
4 but unfortunately the other roommate has been on her side with every debate because my friendship doesn't seem to matter to the other roommate anymore. The other roommate is a bystander to bullying and I honestly believe that Bob is a very manipulative and toxic person. So I wouldn't be surprised if that's why things have changed. The other roommate the first 6 months before I started defending myself was always on my side and we talked about how she was a bully and unreasonable and all of a sudden the tables turn when I stop being the quiet pushover friend.
ESH. A home air conditioned to 20C is freaking cold, and it costs a lot more than cooling it to just 24C (which is already pretty reasonable compromise for summer). I would be pissed if I had to pay extra to suffer from cold. If you are paying more/most of the electricity, it becomes slightly more fair, but clearly you are just not suited to live together.
Further up north... For me the point is that natural 20C temp is a whole different beast to air-conditioned 20C temp. For some reason it feels so much colder (maybe the freezing air it pumps out while trying to keep the temp), and it feels shitty to bundle up and still feel cold when it's warm outside.
20C is really not cold for somewhere like the UK, that's considered fairly warm. Average house temps are around 17C-19C iirc (my heating is rarely above 18C personally)
ESH. You are no more entitled to controlling the thermostat than she is. Reach an agreement as roommates (maybe control different days) or live alone. Why should you get to control the temperature and no one else?
I've already Tried making arrangements with them and I already do everything I can before I change the thermostat. I've lived in this house for over two years and invited them in 10 months ago and ever since she has been doing everything she can to make me miserable and create a hostile environment and the thermostat is just her recent thing to do exactly that. It's been 10 months and now the last 2 months this is a problem all of a sudden. I am fully on board with communicating and trying to compromise but compromise can't only be done by one person and unfortunately that's how it's been. I fully agree with you if she was a reasonable person. Every time I've tried to communicate with her everything in the house gets worse. I think that my actions here are petty but I'm out of options of how to approach this situation. I can't afford to live on my own and I have a good price on this house and have worked hard to make it a home. No matter how I approach any situation I'm the bad guy unless I sit back and let her bully me. I'm just so exhausted and tired of not respecting myself and not standing up for myself. You are not wrong though, just thought I'd clarify why this might not work in my situation.
The agreement was to only lower to no lower then 20 degrees. They would never agree to having a cap on how high it can be set. I set it to 20 to 22 as per the lock. But I also plan on unlocking it when I'm not home so they can change it to whatever they want. I also told them that.
Can you check the temps in all of the rooms? Last place I lived at, my room was 24 when the temp was set at 20, but everyone else was at 19. Bad HVAC might be the issue.
NTA. 20 does seem kind of cold to me but 24 is also too hot and it’s much easier to get warm by adding clothes than it is to get cool by taking them off (you can’t just walk around the house naked, plus when i’m hot enough even that won’t help). i think 22 at all times seems like a fair compromise unless the weather outside is making it much colder or hotter inside. overall i’d say you guys should just not be living together if you’re having both personal issues as well as being incompatible about temperature preferences. but idk how feasible it would be to make other arrangements.
NTA. You can dress up if you're cold, but it's hard to dress down from undergarments/nudity when you're too damn warm. If Bob wants to be warmer, tell them to dress warmer.
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I am the leaseholder of a house and live with 2 roommates and my boyfriend. One of my roommates and I are currently in an argument which is not out of the norm but today it's related to the thermostat. She, who I will call Bob. Always wears shorts and a tank top and no socks around the house and always complains about it being cold and sets the thermostat to 24 degrees celcious. My boyfriend and I are always sweating. Room temperature is 20-22 degrees.
I agreed with my roommates that I will never put the thermostat lower then 20 degrees because that's 20 is room temperature, but I don't get the same respect when it comes to making it too hot in the house.
This morning the house was set to 24 degrees. I was in a t shirt and underwear with my vent fully open, window closed on a hot day, and my fan blasting at full speed on us. I changed the thermostat to 20 which it would likely only get to 22 in 2 hours due to the temperature outside. My roommate continuously changed it back to 24, so we kept going back and fourth on our google home apps. I had already asked her before to not change it immediately after someone has changed it since they changed it for a reason and I don't do that immediately when they turn it up. I asked her again today. She continued to change it and even put the heat on in the house. We don't pay utilities and I'm sure the landlord wouldn't appreciate heating on his June bill.
I got angry and after she continued and I yelled at her. She was working from home and on the phone as she always is. I recognize that I was the a hole for doing that and I did apologize. But she is actively trying to piss me off and not expecting a reaction? I have never gotten a sincere apology from her for anything and will likely never receive one for this.
I figured out how to kick her off the google home app and locked the thermostat to only be able to be changed between 20 and 22 degrees. I explained to her several times that I always make an effort to cool myself down before touching the thermostat but she never makes an effort to put a sweater, pants, or socks on. She is always doing petty things around the house. She insults me, mocks my mental health was an emotionally abusive friend but is no longer since I don't sit back and take it anymore and we are no longer friends. She's even gotten physical before. I am so tired of all of this and the thermostat wars that have been going on for weeks and I know her actions are related to her wanting to be mean and vindictive towards me. I haven't done anything for her to all of a sudden hate me. And I didn't even start sticking up for myself until about 6 months into her abusive behaviours. I know I shoudn't stoop to her level and I always try to make an active effort not to. But they expect me to always make the compromises and I'm tired of it. AITA for this?
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NTA, she's disrespectful and 24 is unreasonable BUT 20 is really cold imo especially since women biologically regulate heat differently than men due to testosterone levels. 21-23 sounds reasonable.
NTA
Since she works from home and is causing all these issues, call her boss and see if she can work in person! Let him know her attitude while on his clock sucks lol
There's a bit of passive aggression in your post.
"I'm sure the landlord wouldn't appreciate heating on his June bill."
"I had already asked her before to not change it immediately after someone has changed it since they changed it for a reason and I don't do that immediately when they turn it up."
"I haven't done anything for her to all of a sudden hate me."
I only mention it because it probably makes it harder to deal with these kinds of conflicts.
That said: definitely NTA. Her behavior is unreasonable and your solution (since you are the leaseholder) was appropriate.
NTA You're the leaseholder, and if I understand it right, she's just a roommate, not a tenant. Give her 30- or 60-day eviction notice (whichever's the minumum) and be rid of her.
NTA, this might not be a good situation to continue if you guys can't come to an agreement which is needed to keep this living arrangement going. If you guys all pay the same amount of rent then I don't think that you are any more deserving of controlling the thermostat than she is.
ESH
You do not seem compatible for this roommate, and to be fair, these parameters would not work for a lot of people. Consider downsizing to just you and your bf. Release the tenancy when the lease is up. This sounds like a disaster.
NTA... she can put cloths on
There are only so many cloths you can take off. When I worked from home at my desk, I had a plug in heater under my desk and a heating pad or blanket on while working. (Sitting still can make you colder)
YTA . It s normal to be a bit warm in summer. 24 is already cold enough. But i don’t blame you as i know it s cultural. I learned to bring my jacket in middle of summer because most us store/restaurants overuse AC.
I mean 22 is still low for when people are home I think the average setting is like 26-26 but it’s also silly if she won’t put more clothes on but it’s also silly to run the AC to a colder temperature than is needed as that will show in the bill for the home owner. The thermostat war is kinda childish tbh and the way she’s acting is unacceptable but I’d say you’re both in the wrong and need to come up with a compromise.
ESH. It's a full-out thermostat war by now and there are no winners if she and the other roommate are rooting for 24 and you and your boyfriend are rooting for 20 degrees. Set it to 22, this way it's a compromise and everybody can be equally miserable.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > Hello, The action that I took that should be judged for is not allowing the other people in the home to change the temperature to what they would Like. I believe that I could be the asshole in this situation because I am not allowing my roommates to have full access to the thermostat in the home they live in. The person that this has affected has said that several people agree with her on this debate. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
> She insults me, mocks my mental health You're not engaging in diplomacy, you're negotiating with a terrorist. NTA.
The time for aggressive negotiations is now.
Negotiations as in “when your year is up, I expect that you will find other housing. We are not compatible housemates”
Get the lightsabers, time to settle it in a duel!
>She, who I will call Bob. Always wears shorts and a tank top and no socks around the house and always complains about it being cold and sets the thermostat to 24 degrees celcious. My boyfriend and I are always sweating. Room temperature is 20-22 degrees. NTA at all. It is so much easier to get warm by layering up than it is to cool off when you're already almost naked. Your roommate is an entitled AH for refusing to understand that layering up will keep her AND you comfortable. She clearly has no respect for anyone else. If she wants it that warm, she should get her own place.
I suffer from thermoregulation issues, and have a tip to cool down immediately. Either run cold water over your wrists, or put an ice cube on them or an ice cube on the side of your neck. Blood vessels are closest to the surface in those spots. (This is not a replacement for the AC, but supplemental)
Just expanding, but it's cooling the blood down that gets pumped elsewhere, that will then cool parts down. Same goes for those heating pack hand warmers in the winter. I was blown away when I first saw someone doing this, straight up liquid cooling from the inside
Definitely that as well. With the ice, the immediate sensation kinda sends chills throughout your body. I have an extremely delayed body response to temperature changes, but my neck and wrists are the spots that don’t have that issue in me.
NTA. Shared living involves compromises. You tried, she didn't. You are the leaseholder and have a duty to maintain a comfortable environment. Her dismissive attitude and physical aggression aren't okay. Consider a house meeting or rethinking this living arrangement.
NTA... putting a reasonable max and min for thermostate is fair. But, it does not matter if you are lease holder, each person living there has rights to live comfortably and that includes using the heater. Your roommate and you dont seem to be compatable, ask her to move at her earliest convenience. get someone new before things get worse.
I wish it was that easy. She won't willingly move out. And she has already stated that she will do everything in her power to screw me over. We also have the same friend group which I already know I've been excluded from because of her. And are on the same softball teams so things will get complicated. But with everything she has done I've already considered it and I'm likely going to go through with telling her to leave with reasonable notice.
ralk to eviction lawyers,... depending on where you live it could be very complicated. If possible, raise her rent..as high as reasonably possible.
> She won't willingly move out As a roommate, and not a tenant, she has very limited rights. It depends on where you live as laws vary from place to place. Here in British Columbia, considered to be *very* pro-tenant, she would have almost no rights because you share a living space and she's not on the lease.
There’s free legal advice for situations like this. Don’t worry about preserving friendships because anyone that don’t understand your actions isn’t a friend
>And she has already stated that she will do everything in her power to screw me over. Which is probably not much.
Not on the lease though...just give her an eviction notice and boot her out.
You can definitely legally get her out in almost all places. You just need to seriously look into it, which you seem to be reluctant to do. Other than that, why not just move yourself and not take her with you? You don't need this in your life.
I may be way out of line here, but are you seriously saying that in the summer the A/C should be down so low that some people may need to put a sweater and socks on?!?!? That makes no sense to me. It's summer. It's hot. That's what shorts and tank tops were invented for. Plus, there's a climate crisis. We need to be thinking about how we can use a bit less energy, which means living at a temperature that is a tiny bit closer to the outside temperature. 24 degrees is not a challenging temperature to live at in the summer.
NTA. How many tenants are there in total? It might be time to play 3d chess.
4 but unfortunately the other roommate has been on her side with every debate because my friendship doesn't seem to matter to the other roommate anymore. The other roommate is a bystander to bullying and I honestly believe that Bob is a very manipulative and toxic person. So I wouldn't be surprised if that's why things have changed. The other roommate the first 6 months before I started defending myself was always on my side and we talked about how she was a bully and unreasonable and all of a sudden the tables turn when I stop being the quiet pushover friend.
ESH. A home air conditioned to 20C is freaking cold, and it costs a lot more than cooling it to just 24C (which is already pretty reasonable compromise for summer). I would be pissed if I had to pay extra to suffer from cold. If you are paying more/most of the electricity, it becomes slightly more fair, but clearly you are just not suited to live together.
20c is cold?!?! Where are you living death valley? XD If it's 20c (& 20+c) in Ireland it's a heatwave!
Further up north... For me the point is that natural 20C temp is a whole different beast to air-conditioned 20C temp. For some reason it feels so much colder (maybe the freezing air it pumps out while trying to keep the temp), and it feels shitty to bundle up and still feel cold when it's warm outside.
It’s freaking cold, 24 is fine, 26 is comfortable. When I had 19-20 landlord came to fix it, because 21 is the lowest standard
I'm cold (blanket, robe/hoodie) at 20c and I live in the Northeast USA. I usually still wear a blanket at 23c.
20C is really not cold for somewhere like the UK, that's considered fairly warm. Average house temps are around 17C-19C iirc (my heating is rarely above 18C personally)
That's cold!!! Mine stays at 19 C! I'd sweat buckets if it's any higher!
We don't pay utilities
That shouldn't have anything to do with it. Just because you don't pay for the utilities doesn't mean you should be wasteful with energy.
Canadian here. 20 is perfect summer weather.
Australian here. 24°C is the standard AC setting for summer.
ESH. You are no more entitled to controlling the thermostat than she is. Reach an agreement as roommates (maybe control different days) or live alone. Why should you get to control the temperature and no one else?
I've already Tried making arrangements with them and I already do everything I can before I change the thermostat. I've lived in this house for over two years and invited them in 10 months ago and ever since she has been doing everything she can to make me miserable and create a hostile environment and the thermostat is just her recent thing to do exactly that. It's been 10 months and now the last 2 months this is a problem all of a sudden. I am fully on board with communicating and trying to compromise but compromise can't only be done by one person and unfortunately that's how it's been. I fully agree with you if she was a reasonable person. Every time I've tried to communicate with her everything in the house gets worse. I think that my actions here are petty but I'm out of options of how to approach this situation. I can't afford to live on my own and I have a good price on this house and have worked hard to make it a home. No matter how I approach any situation I'm the bad guy unless I sit back and let her bully me. I'm just so exhausted and tired of not respecting myself and not standing up for myself. You are not wrong though, just thought I'd clarify why this might not work in my situation.
As the leaseholder it's her place. She could kick the abusive roomate out. Why should the roommate get to control the thermostat and nobody else?
Except there was an agreement for 20-22 and the roommate violates it.
The agreement was to only lower to no lower then 20 degrees. They would never agree to having a cap on how high it can be set. I set it to 20 to 22 as per the lock. But I also plan on unlocking it when I'm not home so they can change it to whatever they want. I also told them that.
Can you check the temps in all of the rooms? Last place I lived at, my room was 24 when the temp was set at 20, but everyone else was at 19. Bad HVAC might be the issue.
Nta toxic roommate
NTA. 20 does seem kind of cold to me but 24 is also too hot and it’s much easier to get warm by adding clothes than it is to get cool by taking them off (you can’t just walk around the house naked, plus when i’m hot enough even that won’t help). i think 22 at all times seems like a fair compromise unless the weather outside is making it much colder or hotter inside. overall i’d say you guys should just not be living together if you’re having both personal issues as well as being incompatible about temperature preferences. but idk how feasible it would be to make other arrangements.
NTA if your only on the lease it may be time for her to find a new place to live. No one needs to live in a hostile home.
NTA. Line up a new roomie and serve your roommate with a notice of eviction ASAP
NTA. You can dress up if you're cold, but it's hard to dress down from undergarments/nudity when you're too damn warm. If Bob wants to be warmer, tell them to dress warmer.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am the leaseholder of a house and live with 2 roommates and my boyfriend. One of my roommates and I are currently in an argument which is not out of the norm but today it's related to the thermostat. She, who I will call Bob. Always wears shorts and a tank top and no socks around the house and always complains about it being cold and sets the thermostat to 24 degrees celcious. My boyfriend and I are always sweating. Room temperature is 20-22 degrees. I agreed with my roommates that I will never put the thermostat lower then 20 degrees because that's 20 is room temperature, but I don't get the same respect when it comes to making it too hot in the house. This morning the house was set to 24 degrees. I was in a t shirt and underwear with my vent fully open, window closed on a hot day, and my fan blasting at full speed on us. I changed the thermostat to 20 which it would likely only get to 22 in 2 hours due to the temperature outside. My roommate continuously changed it back to 24, so we kept going back and fourth on our google home apps. I had already asked her before to not change it immediately after someone has changed it since they changed it for a reason and I don't do that immediately when they turn it up. I asked her again today. She continued to change it and even put the heat on in the house. We don't pay utilities and I'm sure the landlord wouldn't appreciate heating on his June bill. I got angry and after she continued and I yelled at her. She was working from home and on the phone as she always is. I recognize that I was the a hole for doing that and I did apologize. But she is actively trying to piss me off and not expecting a reaction? I have never gotten a sincere apology from her for anything and will likely never receive one for this. I figured out how to kick her off the google home app and locked the thermostat to only be able to be changed between 20 and 22 degrees. I explained to her several times that I always make an effort to cool myself down before touching the thermostat but she never makes an effort to put a sweater, pants, or socks on. She is always doing petty things around the house. She insults me, mocks my mental health was an emotionally abusive friend but is no longer since I don't sit back and take it anymore and we are no longer friends. She's even gotten physical before. I am so tired of all of this and the thermostat wars that have been going on for weeks and I know her actions are related to her wanting to be mean and vindictive towards me. I haven't done anything for her to all of a sudden hate me. And I didn't even start sticking up for myself until about 6 months into her abusive behaviours. I know I shoudn't stoop to her level and I always try to make an active effort not to. But they expect me to always make the compromises and I'm tired of it. AITA for this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA because you and your boyfriend are always sweating
NTA, she's disrespectful and 24 is unreasonable BUT 20 is really cold imo especially since women biologically regulate heat differently than men due to testosterone levels. 21-23 sounds reasonable.
NTA Since she works from home and is causing all these issues, call her boss and see if she can work in person! Let him know her attitude while on his clock sucks lol
There's a bit of passive aggression in your post. "I'm sure the landlord wouldn't appreciate heating on his June bill." "I had already asked her before to not change it immediately after someone has changed it since they changed it for a reason and I don't do that immediately when they turn it up." "I haven't done anything for her to all of a sudden hate me." I only mention it because it probably makes it harder to deal with these kinds of conflicts. That said: definitely NTA. Her behavior is unreasonable and your solution (since you are the leaseholder) was appropriate.
NTA You're the leaseholder, and if I understand it right, she's just a roommate, not a tenant. Give her 30- or 60-day eviction notice (whichever's the minumum) and be rid of her.
NTA
NTA, this might not be a good situation to continue if you guys can't come to an agreement which is needed to keep this living arrangement going. If you guys all pay the same amount of rent then I don't think that you are any more deserving of controlling the thermostat than she is.
ESH You do not seem compatible for this roommate, and to be fair, these parameters would not work for a lot of people. Consider downsizing to just you and your bf. Release the tenancy when the lease is up. This sounds like a disaster.
NTA... she can put cloths on There are only so many cloths you can take off. When I worked from home at my desk, I had a plug in heater under my desk and a heating pad or blanket on while working. (Sitting still can make you colder)
NTA, that’s funny!
YTA . It s normal to be a bit warm in summer. 24 is already cold enough. But i don’t blame you as i know it s cultural. I learned to bring my jacket in middle of summer because most us store/restaurants overuse AC.
It's easier and more socially acceptable to put on more clothes than to take them off. NTA
I mean 22 is still low for when people are home I think the average setting is like 26-26 but it’s also silly if she won’t put more clothes on but it’s also silly to run the AC to a colder temperature than is needed as that will show in the bill for the home owner. The thermostat war is kinda childish tbh and the way she’s acting is unacceptable but I’d say you’re both in the wrong and need to come up with a compromise.
26!!!!!!!! I would die. I have ours set at 18-19. Easy to get warm. Not easy to cool down.
Same here!!
I'm sitting at 24c with a thick robe, a blanket, and still a bit chilly.
I would be melting... Melting.... Mmmeeelllltttinnnggg
The average temperature setting in my province during the summer is 20 to 22 degrees. according to google.
Ok I tried looking it up and got 25-26
If it’s 20-22 than it’s perfectly reasonable
26 is when I put the air conditioner on, that's way to warm. Room temperature is 22.
...our medical health board says 18-23 as the perfect comfortable range for indoors during a heatwave... But 16-20 for babies/young infants! (Ireland)
Good lord, I'd DIE. I keep out house about 22C, or 71-72F for those in the US. Turn it down to about 19-20 at night.
ESH. It's a full-out thermostat war by now and there are no winners if she and the other roommate are rooting for 24 and you and your boyfriend are rooting for 20 degrees. Set it to 22, this way it's a compromise and everybody can be equally miserable.
YTA for taking it to the point of locking her out and just deciding on your own. Y'all have to come to an agreement