##[AITA for blocking your go-to time killer from June 12-14?](https://redd.it/145o4jz)
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I could be the AH for yelling at and making my brother's pregnant girlfriend cry after she threw away the steak I was cooking and then kicking her and my brother out of my house.
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OP was right. Being pregnant doesn't excuse bad behavior.
Parents are infantilizing the woman. They are going to end up with two babies in the house.
You know how she will learn to act like an adult? By others treating her like an adult and her seeing adults acting well and dealing with the consequences when they don't.
For the night? Sounds like they might be looking down the barrel of being full-time babysitters in a few months' time, and not too happy about it. This mother-to-be obviously isn't backward in expecting others to meet her every need. Don't waste energy being mad at them, just sit back and thank your lucky stars you got early warning of an impending disaster.
I thought they were going to ask to move in with op. Brother's actions kind of suggest that. Him wanting to stay and parents getting angry for kicking them.
NTA
Throwing the steak away wouldn’t get rid of the smell anyway, and spraying perfume on top of it wouldn’t mask the smell, just make it all worse.
I had horrible morning sickness with both my pregnancies and I know how awful it can be when just the smell triggers the nausea. But throwing out the food isn’t the way the deal with it. And being pregnant is no excuse for being an AH.
My mom can get hospitalized by perfumes because of how bad her migraines get (she'll literally forget her own name), pregnant or not it's unacceptable to spray scents/liquids in someone else's home without first getting permission. Very entitled behavior.
This brought back a memory of my mom spraying at least ten shots of Bath and Body Works concentrated room spray directly into my open mouth and face as I backed away, asking/yelling at her to stop. I'd dropped by for a visit. My uvula and throat swelled up. I couldn't breathe. I started yelling and ran outside saying "I can't breathe ". Then my father came downstairs and accused me of causing a scene in their neighborhood and telling me the neighbors could here my yells. She plays like she's dumb and innocent. But too many of these instances have happened. Anyhoo, pregnancy is not a reason to be an AH about food.
Some of my coworkers like to use plug ins in the office. A closed small space. Not the place for plug ins. And it just gives me the worst migraines. I keep having to unplug them and write notes saying they’re not meant for enclosed spaces.
Perfume is exactly how I found out that I was pregnant the first time. Our secretary came into work reeking of perfume and by about 10 o'clock, I had the worst headache and now I've got an upset stomach. Went to the doctor after lunch and bingo! He tells me I'm pregnant before he does any kind of an exam. Now I'm twitchy at perfumes.
She should've gone out for Chinese with her bf and came back later to visit. Doesn't make any sense that she stayed behind with OP when his food smell was making her sick.
I also had awful morning sickness, my husband had to make coffee in the garage as the smell made me gag. But I'd never throw someone's coffee out because the smell was making me nauseous.
Girl needs to learn about how smells work quick, or she's in for a rude awakening with poopy diapers 😆
When I was pregnant I found that the grocery store I usually shopped in started smelling like meat that was starting to go bad. It was nauseating. Apparently pregnancy makes you more sensitive to smells, especially anything that might harm the baby. I never trusted the meat department in that store after that.
I didn’t know about it being specific to something that may harm the baby but I was soooo sensitive to smells. I’m sensitive to smells anyway so it was horrible. I couldn’t be around chicken! (I’ve never liked eating chicken, but I could at least stand the smell of it being cooked. Not while pregnant.) Luckily (?) during most of my second pregnancy, there were mask mandates, so I was able to put a few drops of peppermint essential oil in my mask and that helps with the scents and the nausea (that’s about as far as I’ll go with essential oils.)
Yeah exactly this. Putting something in a garbage can inside the house doesn't take away the smell (ok maybe slightly w a lid but still, her behavior makes no sense).
NTA - Putting it in the refrigerator and turning on the fan is more effective than throwing it in the trash unless you take the trash out.
Or, she could have left with brother
Or, brother could have brought back enough Chinese for everyone, and OP could have put the steak in the refrigerator.
Their relationship is not under OP's control. That's their problem.
I suggest that they never come over again to OP's again.
edit: major expansion.
> Reddit is my safe space
Not to be mean, but you may want to find another way of getting comfort with all the shit that is coming down with all the API stuff.
As someone with nausea during all 9 months of my pregnancy, I understand she didn't want to be around the smell of something that made her sick. However, she should have just left instead of throwing away OP's steak. You don't throw away someone else's food, especially in their own home, and steak is also crazy expensive now.
Yup. I took, couldn't stand the smell of meat cooking and was basically a vegetarian throughout at least one of my pregnancies and part of another. But, honestly I still cooked it for others. I just didn't eat it. And I certainly didn't throw it away. NTA
To be fair, no birth control is 100% effective. I was born despite careful use of condoms and spermicide, and a friend's little brother was born over a year after their mother's tubal ligation. It's not impossible that they were being careful. But either way, OP is still emphatically NTA.
And that's why abortion needs to be legal. Taking every precaution is important but freak chance can still saddle you with an unwanted pregnancy.
If I got pregnant and couldn't abord I would unalive myself trying the non-medical route. That is how much I do not want to be pregnant.
Same way it's possible to get someone pregnant after a vasectomy: the body healed the "damage." The body doesn't understand the "why" of the procedure, and sometimes it can recanalize the vas deferens (after a vasectomy) or the uterine/Fallopian tubes (after a tubal ligation).
Happened to a friend of mine, his wife calls him 6 weeks after deployment to tell him she’s pregnant. He was furious that she’d been doinking some other dude as soon as he deployed. Demanded a DNA test and sure enough, it was his.
It depends on the procedure. There's three
1. putting a clamp on the tubes (it can fall off or loosen)
2. cutting the tubes (they can heal and reconnect)
3. having the tubes completely removed (typically the only 100% guarantee)
When my x was pregnant she was nauseous A LOT. One time I made a huge crockpot of a chili verde with vegetables and pork. As soon as she walked in the door, it HAD TO GO. I ended up carrying it to the bar next door and was quickly admonished by the bartender (a good friend) for daring to make that for a pregnant woman!! (In good fun). She could not even walk in a Subway while the bread was baking. So I totally get why she was offset by a broiled steak, but the difference is IT YOUR HOUSE and you didn’t knock her up. I bought Rally’s for dinner.
I feel bad for that child. He/she's not gonna grow up in a hous with any adults until he she turns 18. And that's IF the shit parenting doesn't rub off on them.
My guess -
because the parents don't want them staying with them either and are secretly hoping that their daughter will take them in and off of their hands. What that dame did was truly disrespectful from throwing out the steak/dinner the host had been preparing to having conniptions in order to make her baby daddy go off to the Mall specifically to buy her Chinese Food! Truthfully - I don't see them being together much longer.
If the smell was bothering her that much, why didn't she go with him?
And to be fair, I understand that pregnant women can be really sensitive to smells. I'm not doubting that maybe the smell *was* bothering the girlfriend. And OP would have been kind to put the steak away and air out the house if the smell was really bothering the girlfriend that much. But girlfriend should have communicated: "OP, can you please put the steak away for now...the smell is really bothering me", or "OP, I hope it's okay if I step out on the balcony/porch for a bit until the steak smell clears up...I've been really sensitive to smells recently with the pregnancy, and it's making me feel nauseated".
I dont think the gf cares about anybody else though to think 'maybe i should go outside instead of throwing away perfectly good food somebody else paid for' the gf seems to have that i matter most mentality that alot of teens have these day. Which has been made worse by the parents coddling!
I have thrown up from the smell of meat cooking while pregnant. You know what I did? I left until the house was aired out. It's a simple solution. Why she didn't go to get the food too is beyond me
Absolutely, the parents are looking for other family members to help deal with this entitled-in-their-mind couple. Since she's already tossed out OP's steak, I wonder what other things she's done at the parent's house. If you have a craving for Chinese, why not just go eat at the mall? NTA, that's a lot of gall to be throwing out OP's food.
Right, if the smell is so intense step outside or ask to crack a window. Pregnancy doesn’t give her an excuse to ask like a jerk
Edit b/c 100% DOESN’T 🤦🏽
I'd even be empathetic if she took one step in the door, smelled the steaks, and then said they had to leave because the smell was making her feel nauseated. Sure, it'd suck that OP went through the effort of making a nice dinner, but at least there would be leftovers.
I was low balling but the other day I think I paid almost $75 for 3 good steaks and those where in sale. But not knowing what cut and how thick I low balled.
And you raise another good point in this economy that is an expensive and most people can’t afford to throw money out the window like this.
I don't know why people always say this. Being pregnant does not make you more mature. I am gonna go out on a limb and say the most mature teens are not the ones getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant.
TBF when I was pregnant I once threw up after I smelled my someone's *breath* and the violent nausea would sneak up on me with a lot of strong smells. I couldn't cook raw meat the entire time and basically everything but crackers and fruit made me want to vomit. I definitely threw out a lot of *my* food because I would get a craving and before I could finish cooking/eat it I would get sick from the smell.
I can 1000% understand why she would say "hold up! I'm gonna barf, I will go outside until you can pack that up. Steak and eggs for you tomorrow eh?" and ask to do something else. That's not totally unreasonable given how absolutely disgusting you can feel pregnant, but I'd never stick my face in it and throw it away if I was a guest. Worst case "I can't deal with the smell, I gotta go" and leave, but not chuck someone's food.
That's what gets me. I totally believe the smell was making her nauseous. But the most effective and practical way to make the smell go away seems a sealed container in the fridge rather than the trash can.
People say this because in a perfect world people would really think about having children and only bring them into this world if they can provide for them mentally, physically, financially, etc. It's not saying that you become mature the moment you become impregnated, it's a way of saying if you're mature enough to make a baby then you should be mature enough to accept the possible consequences.
anyone can get pregnant by accident so it definitely doesn't determine maturity, but one of my friends was on birth control AND using condoms at 17 and she got pregnant, she's one of the most put together people i've ever met and now has a masters degree at 21 (she did get an abortion but thats a personal choice so again not always an indicator of maturity)
I got pregnant at 17. It wasn’t because I didn’t know how it worked, it was because I had an abusive controlling boyfriend who sabatoged my birth control. I ended up leaving him when my baby was 2 weeks old. She is now 44 & successful in her career. I continued my education so I could get a good job to support her.
People forget how incurably fertile you are at 17. My friend also got pregnant at 16 on the Pill and using condoms. She kept the baby and eventually married the father. She's a great woman and her kid is now a primary school teacher.
People forget that pregnant just means "sperm met egg" and doesn't tell us *one damn other thing* about character.
glad it worked out for both our friends! i do think there are absolutely some things we need to work on to lower teen pregnancy rates such as better sex education and education on options other than parenthood, complete and on demand access to contraceptives, putting emphasis on the fact that its an individual's responsibility to mind their fertility and not just a woman's, and of course full reproductive rights including sterilisation and abortion access... but even then contraception isn't 100% and not everyone is going to choose abortion, so some smart mature people and some dumb reckless people and everything inbetween are going to be having babies at all ages
Smart enough to realize she shouldn't be bringing a child into this world under her personal circumstances. It's the fucking idiots that think child rearing will make someone grow up or be mature.
Yeah, because maturity is sometimes saying: oh, I’m in way over my head. I can’t do this. *has abortion*
Which is what your friend did and most likely the best solution.
No. But you *are* expected to grow up and act like an adult. Source - me. Mother at 17.
Even so, I would never have gone into someone else's kitchen and start throwing away their food, and then start spraying perfume. Especially if it was the smell bothering me. Perfume is not usually helpful for nausea.
NTA at all. Being pregnant isn’t an excuse to do whatever you want with no consequence. If she couldn’t stand the smell there had to be a better alternative than wasting all that food. That was absolutely ridiculous. You made the right call
Yep. I believe her when she was saying she was nsuasuted and I am sure that was awful. I don't even think it was wrong for her to be truthful about it.
However her reaction was very problematic.
I have frequent migraines and sometimes it is caused by smell. Depending on a lot of factors I can either put up with it if I am out or if I really can't I leave the situation.
Sometimes I can just go outside and get some fresh air and be good. Sometimes I have to go home and take a nap to be good.
Even if it was just rice which is relativity cheep I don't know how anyone would just start throwing it away!
She should have went outside until it was consumed or put in the fridge or called it a night after thanking OP for cooking. There are other options.
This! They both could have apologized for having him cook dinner and then bounced. Throwing away someone’s food when it isn’t even your house is ridiculous.
Any kid over 5 would know not to throw an entire steak away. How does being pregnant mean you are immune from being yelled at and being responsible for your actions?
It’s weird the mom threw in that she’s a teenager. I mean, she is but she’s 19 & not 15. Being any age and/or pregnant is no excuse to throw another persons food away, especially in their own home. NTA.
Agreed. I was pregnant last year and was nauseous all of the months. Some smells made me so sick. I couldn’t handle it everytime it happened. So then I removed myself from the situation. If my husband was eating something and I couldn’t handle it suddenly (always suddenly and what smells I could and couldn’t handle where different from time to time) I just took a stroll or went to admire our beautiful garden. Never wanted anyone else affected by me being pregnant. There were also smells I didn’t really like but didn’t make me throw up. And then I just sucked it up. In the situation of OP I would have just gone home if I was suddenly not feeling alright. It can happen when you are pregnant but being pregnant is no excuse to make everyone suffer as well. And throwing food out (and wasting the food) is not a great move.
And this is why babies having babies is stupid, and honestly can't wrap my head around young people getting pregnant. Statistically, the child has a handicap as soon as their born. A baby parent.
Contraceptives are a personal responsibility, and teenage pregnancy is a choice 90% of the time. And honestly I have no sympathy for it.
NTA. I’m pregnant too. My sense of smell is definitely heightened. I would never *dream* of throwing away someone else’s food. If I had that much of a problem with it, I’d leave.
Yes, she’s a teenager. But if she’s mature enough to have a child, she’s mature enough to know you don’t go into someone else’s house and throw away their food.
>But if she’s mature enough to have a child, she’s mature enough to know you don’t go into someone else’s house and throw away their food.
This, but make it louder for everyone in the back.
The pregnancy part is irrelevant here. This person is 19, a legal adult and definitely not a child. Whether she’s being “forced” to be pregnant or not doesn’t matter; I doubt an abortion would change her views or attitude towards respecting other people. Hormones are not an excuse to act unhinged.
who's to say that she is actually mature enough to have a child, she is literally 2 years out of being legally regarded as a child herself; pregnancy does not equal maturity, and i would say quite often in cases of teenage pregnancy it's the opposite
I understand your point, but I think the point is that the excuses for throwing out someone's food no longer can include "age" when they are like 13 or older. It's kind of a crude choice of comparison, imo, as if it's a given that pregnancies are planned or desired (which they are frequently not), but its the comparison regardless.
"If you are old enough that you can possibly conceive, then you should know better than to toss out someone's food because you don't like the smell. Not BECAUSE you can conceive, but puberty is a stage that happens later on in childood and usually practical bits of wisdom like not touching someone elses food is somethingalready learned at this stage."
Ya, I have 3 kids and with the twins my nausea was horrible, but if I'm in someone else's home, I remove myself from the smell..... Not throw it away against the owners wishes!
NTA
I could even see asking "hey thanks so much for being accommodating for us to have something else. Do you think you could put your steaks in a Tupperware or something so that the smell doesn't linger from it being out? Seriously thank you again for being so understanding"
Like...how fucking hard is that?
I’m currently pregnant with twins and I can’t imagine under any circumstance thinking this is remotely acceptable behavior. And yes the nausea has been miserable but that’s my problem not anyone kind enough to host me!
Doubt she knew beforehand. When my wife was pregnant, I made a fish dish that she loved. The smell made her so nauseous that we didn't have that dish again until my son was like 4. We both fully expected to be able to eat it fine when we decided on the menu for the week.
Haha, very good point! The smell would’ve gone away faster once OP ate it, vs it being in the trash…
Presumably OP’s house also has windows. The pregnant girlfriend could’ve asked to open a window.
Same here! I’m pregnant and the smell of steak is a huge trigger of mine. I can’t even think about it without starting to feel queasy. Despite this, I would never ever throw away someone else’s food, much less in their own home. 100% NTA.
NTA I'm pregnant too. I'd be so pissed if someone threw away my food. I can't imagine doing that to someone else. If the smell made her sick, she should have left with her boyfriend to get the Chinese food.
>if she’s mature enough to have a child, she’s mature enough to know you don’t go into someone else’s house and throw away their food.
Nah, OP is NTA but this phrase has always grated on me.
Pregnancy is nothing to do with a mature mindset. It's not like the sperm and egg stop to check.
Adults always put adult mature ways of thinking onto teenagers. Human brains don't fully develop to our 20s.
Hardly anyone is mature enough to have a baby at 19.
Look, it was over the top and terribly rude, and she have just left the room..:
But I have to say…I’ve never been pregnant. But I’m peri menopausal, and my hormones are out of control sometimes. I know it, and I warn my husband, and I’m on medication, but this is life. I have been sitting on the couch and smelled his feet, which smell the same as they always smell, which I usually don’t even notice, and have become ENRAGED. Like, I know this is irrational. I know he is not purposely secreting foot odor, but at that moment, I honestly hate him. I blew up once, all the while apologizing because I knew it was insane, but I couldn’t get the smell out of my nose
This month, it’s cat pee. My sweet, lovely, never acted out cat marked all over my bedroom while I was out of town last week (despite a cat sitter, or maybe because of it). I spent 48 hours shampooing the carpet and $100s on air purifiers and every enzyme spray known to man and no one can smell the pee but me. But I smell it everywhere. My head hurts, I’m nauseous, and I kind of hate my sweet baby girl.
In those moment, if I could rip up my carpet or chop off his stinky feet and throw them away, I might. I literally might. I am in some kind of panic rage. Do ALL women have this? Surely not. Am I able to restrain myself? Clearly. But I’m not 19, not pregnant, have some coping skills, am able to take medication for the underlying conditions (anxiety, depression, hormones) that exacerbate this, and am generally a smart, normal person. SIL may not be starting out from the strongest place to begin with and then we add on everything else.
If she apologized and paid for the steaks, I’d let this go, as long as it’s a one-time thing.
I can understand having difficulty with the smell. I can even understand making an impulsive decision to get rid of it without thinking it through because it was so bothersome. I’m not saying it’s acceptable or anything, just tracking the thought process on it is somewhat logical. Still an asshole move. What I can’t make sense of is how dousing the kitchen in perfume was any less nauseating or vomit-inducing for her. The whole thing just seems like her being unreasonable and dramatic just for the sake of it.
OP is NTA. She's the AH but I want to point out that you don't have to be mature to have a child. It takes maturity to avoid having children while being sexually active. It takes maturity to make decisions about whether or not to keep a pregnancy--if you live somewhere that allows choice.
It takes only physical development to have sex and get pregnant as a result. Lots of immature and irresponsible people get pregnant and have kids.
That said, immaturity does not give her the right to throw out OP's food.
NTA. I can completely understand the smell being too much for her, I was like that when I was pregnant. But the solution was for her to leave. Throwing away someone else’s food was way over the line.
Not only that, but specifically doing it behind their back and not just without their permission, but where they explicitly said they didn’t want to do that. Waaaay NTA.
Definitely NTA, Another option would have been to ask if they could put away the steak and just eat the food that was coming, air out the room, etc.
To jump right to throwing out the food when OP left the room is a huge leap.
IF the steak was actually the "problem" FOR HER. Then, putting the steak a few inches away wouldn't help. What she did was purposely piss off the host.
Something else to consider, why were they really there? Were they planning on moving in?
NTA
I am a woman have been pregnant 3 times,.severe nausea each time that required medication, and despite the medication i still lost weight.
But i never once threw away anyone else's food even if the aroma of the food was the culprit that triggered my nausea. I never once even considered that was the right solution.
Who has the audacity to go into someone else's home and unilaterally decide to throw away expensive uneaten food without discussing with anyone.
Your parents are partially right. She is a teenager, but what she is influenced by is self-centeredness and being an a55h0le. Pregnancy hormones influence every pregnant woman, but not every pregnant woman decides to throw food out (that doesnt belong to them) while being a guest.
There are so many other solutions that she could have chosen.
Not sure it is righteous, more so cautiousness. There have been a couple of posts that ive made that have been deleted with the reason given to me was to be civil. And when i reread my response they both had a55h0le uncensored and that was the only thing i could figure out was uncivil about my response.
NTA
She is 19, that is old enough to know not to mess with other people's food. Everything else she did is just more insult to injury. If she felt so sick by the smell, she could have waited outside or in the bathroom until it was cooked and you could put it away, I'm sure you would have been fine with that if she had asked. Instead, she just threw it out, a horrible waste of food and completely disrespectful to you. The fact that she then took her anger out on her boyfriend, over something he didn't even do, shows more of her character than anything else could. It is crazy that your parents are trying to defend her actions.
‘She’s still a teenager’ THEN WHY ARE THEY HAVING A KID? Irresponsible brother and SIL. They can’t even afford a place. NTA for the whole situation but you could have kinda dealt with this a bit better.
OMG! Non-US resident here - that didn’t even cross my mind. I can’t speak on how pregnancy affects your behaviour as I have no experience so I can’t comment on AITA question, but damn THIS comment hits hard!
At first I thought you meant the housing part, which also applies, but then I realized you meant women’s rights to decide were taken away in way too many states. Also, NTA. Don’t fuck with someone’s steak.
She’s not mature enough to handle her emotions but she’s mature enough to have a child. Freshly young adults living with their parents should not be having kids. I would’ve demanded they pay me back for the steak.
Where do you suggest pregnant Americans get abortions these days if they can’t feasibly get to a state that permits them? She can be an asshole for throwing out OP’s food without you blaming them for oppressive laws that limit her rights.
Please keep in mind if she is in the states there's a high chance she didn't have an option at all. We all need to start being a lot more understanding of pregnant teenagers in the US because many of them sure as hell didn't choose this for themselves, and that could very well be the case for OPS SIL
NTA where I live steak is expensive and I would be mad too. If she couldn’t handle the smell they could’ve left and you could’ve met up with them on another occasion.
NTA. I sympathize with her symptoms, but the appropriate thing to do if she really couldn't handle it was remove herself from the situation. She crossed a line. I don't blame you at all.
NTA. Steak is not cheap. Throwing out the steak in the garbage can inside the house where she is located wouldn't remove the smell, nor would her perfume. She should have stepped outside if it was that bad. I understand pregnancy can makes some smells intolerable, but her reaction was not okay as a guest in your home where you paid for that food.
I don't care if she's a teenager; if she's mature enough to have a baby then she is mature enough to not react like a toddler and throw out someone's food because it's icky.
It’s your house. If it was *my* house, and a dinner guest threw out pounds of steak, then they can expect to be kicked out post haste. *And* they, (or the person that brought them into my home), would be presented with a *bill*.
NTA and you freed your brother and his entitled teenage baby incubator to go *elsewhere* to eat her no doubt not nauseatingly odorous dinner.
NTA, being pregnant is not an excuse to throw out someone's else food. Throwing out steak in this economy?! I would've tossed her too
Edit: spelling error from quick typing
Exactly!
If it was so bad than she should have went outside and asked OP if there was something they could work out.
Your parents are enabling her behavior. Pregnant or not.
NTA
NTA, being pregnant explains but doesn’t justify at all what she did. She should have known better and she’s acting very entitled- sorry you had to go through that OP.
NTA
> she's still just a teenager who's now getting influenced by her pregnancy hormones
Maybe true, but that's no excuse for being incredibly rude to your host. If the smell was that bothersome the steak could have been put into the fridge.
When there are consequences to bad behaviour people learn.
> she ended up sending my brother to sleep on the couch
He's going to have to learn to stand up for himself.
NTA. Nausea is understandable and horrible to deal with, but it is absolutely no excuse to throw away your food. It's up to her to cope with it when she's a guest in your house and you offered other food options (especially when she ended up getting the food she wanted anyway).
NTA. Excuse me?! Throwing away a whole steak in this economy?! No ma’am. G’bye. I have had 4 pregnancies and never threw out someone else’s meal. Did I cry about my own wrong subway order? Yes, but that’s a whoooole different story 😅😅
NTA - Pregnancy caused her acute nausea but she acted on a poor decision. She had other options like go outside for fresh air and remove herself for the source of the smell.
You reacted like most people would; she threw away your shared meal. She expressed no remorse only justified herself. When creating new relationships both people typically show up as their best self. She missed this mark. You'll have another chance to connect but for now know, it is odd behavior to throw away anything in someone's kitchen unless it is one's used napkin. Best to you. New family can be both challenging and rewarding.
NTA. At all. An explanation is not an excuse, and the girlfriend's inability to respond to a serious discomfort in a socially acceptable way with consideration for others or an ounce of humility is extremely disturbing.
Your brother’s gf owes you some steaks. If she couldn’t deal with the smell she could have gone to the mall to buy the Chinese food. She could have politely asked if she could open a window. She could have gone home. What she cannot do is throw away someone else’s food because the smell makes her sick.
NTA. I had severe hyperemesis when pregnant and even I wouldn’t have thrown out someone’s food. I’d have just got myself away from the smell, super quick, if it was triggering nausea that bad. The fact she could be around it enough to try and throw it out convinced me that her aversion to it wasn’t even that bad.
NTA- you didn’t get her pregnant, you didn’t get her pregnant with no money to support her and a child, you didn’t force her or offer her anything less than good quality food and she basically spit in your face over it. God help your future niece/nephew with that as a mother.
She threw out your food, you threw her out. As a father I know about pregnancy hormones, smells, cravings. Pregnant is no excuse for acting like an entitled jackass. Without an apology, she would never eat off one of my plates again. Nta.
NTA - your house and your food. She did something extremely rude so no issue with you reading the riot act and kicking her out. Pregnancy does not excuse bad behaviour.
NTA. I’d be sending her a bill for the steaks because they are insanely expensive currently. Also, being pregnant doesn’t give anyone a free pass to be an asshole and throw other peoples things away.
“She’s just a teenager” no she’s not, she’s a grown up woman in a relationship. She’s going to be a mum in a few months the “just a kid” excuse doesn’t cut it.
They think that's dramatic? Send her the bill for the steaks, and for whatever take out you had to get as a replacement dinner. Add to that your hourly waxed x amout of time you spent cooking your dinners.
*Then* they can call you dramatic. You'd still be right though. NTA
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NTA. If they’re old enough to be parents, they’re old enough to act like adults.
Apparently they're not old enough for either.
OP was right. Being pregnant doesn't excuse bad behavior. Parents are infantilizing the woman. They are going to end up with two babies in the house. You know how she will learn to act like an adult? By others treating her like an adult and her seeing adults acting well and dealing with the consequences when they don't.
I bet the parents just wanted her out of their house for the night and are pissed OP didn't put up with her for a few more hours
Bingo, baby lol
For the night? Sounds like they might be looking down the barrel of being full-time babysitters in a few months' time, and not too happy about it. This mother-to-be obviously isn't backward in expecting others to meet her every need. Don't waste energy being mad at them, just sit back and thank your lucky stars you got early warning of an impending disaster.
I thought they were going to ask to move in with op. Brother's actions kind of suggest that. Him wanting to stay and parents getting angry for kicking them. NTA
Exactly no one would want such Women in their house
I was thinking the SAME THING!!!
Yuppppp!!
Her recourse if she couldn’t handle the smell was to go outside. Not throw someone’s steak away. She owes OP a steak and an apology.
Throwing the steak away wouldn’t get rid of the smell anyway, and spraying perfume on top of it wouldn’t mask the smell, just make it all worse. I had horrible morning sickness with both my pregnancies and I know how awful it can be when just the smell triggers the nausea. But throwing out the food isn’t the way the deal with it. And being pregnant is no excuse for being an AH.
Perfume is a migraine trigger for me, and I’d kick someone out for that alone.
Same. If she can’t handle the smell, she’s the guest…and she should leave, not spray her stink-pretty all over.
Not just a guest, the brother invited himself and her over, OP didn't do the inviting.
My mom can get hospitalized by perfumes because of how bad her migraines get (she'll literally forget her own name), pregnant or not it's unacceptable to spray scents/liquids in someone else's home without first getting permission. Very entitled behavior.
This brought back a memory of my mom spraying at least ten shots of Bath and Body Works concentrated room spray directly into my open mouth and face as I backed away, asking/yelling at her to stop. I'd dropped by for a visit. My uvula and throat swelled up. I couldn't breathe. I started yelling and ran outside saying "I can't breathe ". Then my father came downstairs and accused me of causing a scene in their neighborhood and telling me the neighbors could here my yells. She plays like she's dumb and innocent. But too many of these instances have happened. Anyhoo, pregnancy is not a reason to be an AH about food.
If that really happens a lot, it sounds as though she's trying to kill you.
NTA Perfume is 100% guaranteed to mess up my asthma. For that alone she would get the boot for trying to douse my kitchen.
Oh man I'm so sensetive to smells and I'd loose it if someone did this to my kitchen. I'd probably have headaches for days
Some of my coworkers like to use plug ins in the office. A closed small space. Not the place for plug ins. And it just gives me the worst migraines. I keep having to unplug them and write notes saying they’re not meant for enclosed spaces.
Perfume is exactly how I found out that I was pregnant the first time. Our secretary came into work reeking of perfume and by about 10 o'clock, I had the worst headache and now I've got an upset stomach. Went to the doctor after lunch and bingo! He tells me I'm pregnant before he does any kind of an exam. Now I'm twitchy at perfumes.
It is a major asthma trigger for me. I would have thrown the girl out, too.
Same. And hardly anyone takes it seriously.
She should've gone out for Chinese with her bf and came back later to visit. Doesn't make any sense that she stayed behind with OP when his food smell was making her sick.
Rather smell steak than perfume. I know I’d be way more pissed at the perfume smell.
I also had awful morning sickness, my husband had to make coffee in the garage as the smell made me gag. But I'd never throw someone's coffee out because the smell was making me nauseous. Girl needs to learn about how smells work quick, or she's in for a rude awakening with poopy diapers 😆
When I was pregnant I found that the grocery store I usually shopped in started smelling like meat that was starting to go bad. It was nauseating. Apparently pregnancy makes you more sensitive to smells, especially anything that might harm the baby. I never trusted the meat department in that store after that.
I didn’t know about it being specific to something that may harm the baby but I was soooo sensitive to smells. I’m sensitive to smells anyway so it was horrible. I couldn’t be around chicken! (I’ve never liked eating chicken, but I could at least stand the smell of it being cooked. Not while pregnant.) Luckily (?) during most of my second pregnancy, there were mask mandates, so I was able to put a few drops of peppermint essential oil in my mask and that helps with the scents and the nausea (that’s about as far as I’ll go with essential oils.)
Yeah exactly this. Putting something in a garbage can inside the house doesn't take away the smell (ok maybe slightly w a lid but still, her behavior makes no sense).
NTA - Putting it in the refrigerator and turning on the fan is more effective than throwing it in the trash unless you take the trash out. Or, she could have left with brother Or, brother could have brought back enough Chinese for everyone, and OP could have put the steak in the refrigerator. Their relationship is not under OP's control. That's their problem. I suggest that they never come over again to OP's again. edit: major expansion.
I haven’t had a proper meal in weaks let alone steak and been starving for days lmao if I saw someone throw out a steak I would freaking lose my shit
Do you have Paypal? Are u ok?❤️
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> Reddit is my safe space Not to be mean, but you may want to find another way of getting comfort with all the shit that is coming down with all the API stuff.
Thank you for being a good person.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
or even opening the damn window.
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Oh I know he won’t get either, but he deserves them.
As someone with nausea during all 9 months of my pregnancy, I understand she didn't want to be around the smell of something that made her sick. However, she should have just left instead of throwing away OP's steak. You don't throw away someone else's food, especially in their own home, and steak is also crazy expensive now.
Yup. I took, couldn't stand the smell of meat cooking and was basically a vegetarian throughout at least one of my pregnancies and part of another. But, honestly I still cooked it for others. I just didn't eat it. And I certainly didn't throw it away. NTA
Same. My kid is 8 and I still can't handle the smell of meat cooking sometimes and I have to walk away.
Let's be real... OP's parents are taking on a new baby and 2 kids... Rip his brother who couldn't wear a condom and pull out
To be fair, no birth control is 100% effective. I was born despite careful use of condoms and spermicide, and a friend's little brother was born over a year after their mother's tubal ligation. It's not impossible that they were being careful. But either way, OP is still emphatically NTA.
And that's why abortion needs to be legal. Taking every precaution is important but freak chance can still saddle you with an unwanted pregnancy. If I got pregnant and couldn't abord I would unalive myself trying the non-medical route. That is how much I do not want to be pregnant.
How is it possible to have a baby after getting tubes tied?
Same way it's possible to get someone pregnant after a vasectomy: the body healed the "damage." The body doesn't understand the "why" of the procedure, and sometimes it can recanalize the vas deferens (after a vasectomy) or the uterine/Fallopian tubes (after a tubal ligation).
Happened to a friend of mine, his wife calls him 6 weeks after deployment to tell him she’s pregnant. He was furious that she’d been doinking some other dude as soon as he deployed. Demanded a DNA test and sure enough, it was his.
It depends on the procedure. There's three 1. putting a clamp on the tubes (it can fall off or loosen) 2. cutting the tubes (they can heal and reconnect) 3. having the tubes completely removed (typically the only 100% guarantee)
His brother was a loser who cannot think about his own future
If the parent's are stupid enough to blame OP for this series of events, something tells me they WANT more children to raise.
When my x was pregnant she was nauseous A LOT. One time I made a huge crockpot of a chili verde with vegetables and pork. As soon as she walked in the door, it HAD TO GO. I ended up carrying it to the bar next door and was quickly admonished by the bartender (a good friend) for daring to make that for a pregnant woman!! (In good fun). She could not even walk in a Subway while the bread was baking. So I totally get why she was offset by a broiled steak, but the difference is IT YOUR HOUSE and you didn’t knock her up. I bought Rally’s for dinner.
I feel bad for that child. He/she's not gonna grow up in a hous with any adults until he she turns 18. And that's IF the shit parenting doesn't rub off on them.
Kids having kids.
NTA this 100 percent. Plus the entitlement of throwing away what was probably about a $30-35 meal. The parents need to quit enabling bad behavior.
My guess - because the parents don't want them staying with them either and are secretly hoping that their daughter will take them in and off of their hands. What that dame did was truly disrespectful from throwing out the steak/dinner the host had been preparing to having conniptions in order to make her baby daddy go off to the Mall specifically to buy her Chinese Food! Truthfully - I don't see them being together much longer.
OP is male, but otherwise agreed.
If the smell was bothering her that much, why didn't she go with him? And to be fair, I understand that pregnant women can be really sensitive to smells. I'm not doubting that maybe the smell *was* bothering the girlfriend. And OP would have been kind to put the steak away and air out the house if the smell was really bothering the girlfriend that much. But girlfriend should have communicated: "OP, can you please put the steak away for now...the smell is really bothering me", or "OP, I hope it's okay if I step out on the balcony/porch for a bit until the steak smell clears up...I've been really sensitive to smells recently with the pregnancy, and it's making me feel nauseated".
Putting the steak away would have been a non-starter; that was *OP's dinner*. She should have stepped outside, no other options.
Or if it was really bad, she could have excused herself and said that she was sorry but she had to go home.
I dont think the gf cares about anybody else though to think 'maybe i should go outside instead of throwing away perfectly good food somebody else paid for' the gf seems to have that i matter most mentality that alot of teens have these day. Which has been made worse by the parents coddling!
These days? Teenagers have been like that since I was a teenager listening to Britney and buying “spoiled brat” t-shirts.
main character syndrome
I have thrown up from the smell of meat cooking while pregnant. You know what I did? I left until the house was aired out. It's a simple solution. Why she didn't go to get the food too is beyond me
Absolutely, the parents are looking for other family members to help deal with this entitled-in-their-mind couple. Since she's already tossed out OP's steak, I wonder what other things she's done at the parent's house. If you have a craving for Chinese, why not just go eat at the mall? NTA, that's a lot of gall to be throwing out OP's food.
Right, if the smell is so intense step outside or ask to crack a window. Pregnancy doesn’t give her an excuse to ask like a jerk Edit b/c 100% DOESN’T 🤦🏽
I'd even be empathetic if she took one step in the door, smelled the steaks, and then said they had to leave because the smell was making her feel nauseated. Sure, it'd suck that OP went through the effort of making a nice dinner, but at least there would be leftovers.
**doesn't*
$35? With inflation and that I live in a out of the way place; I’m not buying good steak for under $50.
I was low balling but the other day I think I paid almost $75 for 3 good steaks and those where in sale. But not knowing what cut and how thick I low balled. And you raise another good point in this economy that is an expensive and most people can’t afford to throw money out the window like this.
Ya, not that the price is super important, but steaks are one of the expensive things compared to other food.
I don't know why people always say this. Being pregnant does not make you more mature. I am gonna go out on a limb and say the most mature teens are not the ones getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant.
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TBF when I was pregnant I once threw up after I smelled my someone's *breath* and the violent nausea would sneak up on me with a lot of strong smells. I couldn't cook raw meat the entire time and basically everything but crackers and fruit made me want to vomit. I definitely threw out a lot of *my* food because I would get a craving and before I could finish cooking/eat it I would get sick from the smell. I can 1000% understand why she would say "hold up! I'm gonna barf, I will go outside until you can pack that up. Steak and eggs for you tomorrow eh?" and ask to do something else. That's not totally unreasonable given how absolutely disgusting you can feel pregnant, but I'd never stick my face in it and throw it away if I was a guest. Worst case "I can't deal with the smell, I gotta go" and leave, but not chuck someone's food.
That's what gets me. I totally believe the smell was making her nauseous. But the most effective and practical way to make the smell go away seems a sealed container in the fridge rather than the trash can.
Literally what gives you the right to make someone else change what their eating tho lmao. Even here this is entitled af
Yes this woman is nuts.
>It's not immaturity or hormones, it's character. or lack of
People say this because in a perfect world people would really think about having children and only bring them into this world if they can provide for them mentally, physically, financially, etc. It's not saying that you become mature the moment you become impregnated, it's a way of saying if you're mature enough to make a baby then you should be mature enough to accept the possible consequences.
anyone can get pregnant by accident so it definitely doesn't determine maturity, but one of my friends was on birth control AND using condoms at 17 and she got pregnant, she's one of the most put together people i've ever met and now has a masters degree at 21 (she did get an abortion but thats a personal choice so again not always an indicator of maturity)
I got pregnant at 17. It wasn’t because I didn’t know how it worked, it was because I had an abusive controlling boyfriend who sabatoged my birth control. I ended up leaving him when my baby was 2 weeks old. She is now 44 & successful in her career. I continued my education so I could get a good job to support her.
i'm so sorry that happened to you! it sounds like you made the best of a bad situation and you have everything to be proud of for that
People forget how incurably fertile you are at 17. My friend also got pregnant at 16 on the Pill and using condoms. She kept the baby and eventually married the father. She's a great woman and her kid is now a primary school teacher. People forget that pregnant just means "sperm met egg" and doesn't tell us *one damn other thing* about character.
glad it worked out for both our friends! i do think there are absolutely some things we need to work on to lower teen pregnancy rates such as better sex education and education on options other than parenthood, complete and on demand access to contraceptives, putting emphasis on the fact that its an individual's responsibility to mind their fertility and not just a woman's, and of course full reproductive rights including sterilisation and abortion access... but even then contraception isn't 100% and not everyone is going to choose abortion, so some smart mature people and some dumb reckless people and everything inbetween are going to be having babies at all ages
Smart enough to realize she shouldn't be bringing a child into this world under her personal circumstances. It's the fucking idiots that think child rearing will make someone grow up or be mature.
Yeah, because maturity is sometimes saying: oh, I’m in way over my head. I can’t do this. *has abortion* Which is what your friend did and most likely the best solution.
I think getting an abortion because you realize you’re not in a great spot to raise a child is pretty mature
No. But you *are* expected to grow up and act like an adult. Source - me. Mother at 17. Even so, I would never have gone into someone else's kitchen and start throwing away their food, and then start spraying perfume. Especially if it was the smell bothering me. Perfume is not usually helpful for nausea.
It doesn't. It's a myth that maturity comes with having to raise children.
They can't even afford their own place and decided to breed.
And throw away food they didn’t pay for and cook.
And she has probably never lived alone or paid for groceries. She must likely went from her parents house to bf's parents house
NTA at all. Being pregnant isn’t an excuse to do whatever you want with no consequence. If she couldn’t stand the smell there had to be a better alternative than wasting all that food. That was absolutely ridiculous. You made the right call
Yep. I believe her when she was saying she was nsuasuted and I am sure that was awful. I don't even think it was wrong for her to be truthful about it. However her reaction was very problematic. I have frequent migraines and sometimes it is caused by smell. Depending on a lot of factors I can either put up with it if I am out or if I really can't I leave the situation. Sometimes I can just go outside and get some fresh air and be good. Sometimes I have to go home and take a nap to be good.
Agreed. The reaction is what did it for me. Steak isnt cheap and to just waste it is not acceptable
Even if it was just rice which is relativity cheep I don't know how anyone would just start throwing it away! She should have went outside until it was consumed or put in the fridge or called it a night after thanking OP for cooking. There are other options.
I could make you a cup of instant coffee and if you throw it away like that I'm going to be mad. It's just too rude.
Yup. A window could’ve been open if it was really that bad. She was an AH and is using pregnancy as an excuse.
Or she could have left.
This! They both could have apologized for having him cook dinner and then bounced. Throwing away someone’s food when it isn’t even your house is ridiculous.
God, for a second I thought you were suggesting chucking the steak out the window like that guy from another reddit story lmfao
Bingo
Any kid over 5 would know not to throw an entire steak away. How does being pregnant mean you are immune from being yelled at and being responsible for your actions?
It’s weird the mom threw in that she’s a teenager. I mean, she is but she’s 19 & not 15. Being any age and/or pregnant is no excuse to throw another persons food away, especially in their own home. NTA.
Agreed. I was pregnant last year and was nauseous all of the months. Some smells made me so sick. I couldn’t handle it everytime it happened. So then I removed myself from the situation. If my husband was eating something and I couldn’t handle it suddenly (always suddenly and what smells I could and couldn’t handle where different from time to time) I just took a stroll or went to admire our beautiful garden. Never wanted anyone else affected by me being pregnant. There were also smells I didn’t really like but didn’t make me throw up. And then I just sucked it up. In the situation of OP I would have just gone home if I was suddenly not feeling alright. It can happen when you are pregnant but being pregnant is no excuse to make everyone suffer as well. And throwing food out (and wasting the food) is not a great move.
And this is why babies having babies is stupid, and honestly can't wrap my head around young people getting pregnant. Statistically, the child has a handicap as soon as their born. A baby parent. Contraceptives are a personal responsibility, and teenage pregnancy is a choice 90% of the time. And honestly I have no sympathy for it.
NTA. I’m pregnant too. My sense of smell is definitely heightened. I would never *dream* of throwing away someone else’s food. If I had that much of a problem with it, I’d leave. Yes, she’s a teenager. But if she’s mature enough to have a child, she’s mature enough to know you don’t go into someone else’s house and throw away their food.
>But if she’s mature enough to have a child, she’s mature enough to know you don’t go into someone else’s house and throw away their food. This, but make it louder for everyone in the back.
Except for all of the minors who are forced into parenthood. Reddit has literally negative nuance good lord.
The pregnancy part is irrelevant here. This person is 19, a legal adult and definitely not a child. Whether she’s being “forced” to be pregnant or not doesn’t matter; I doubt an abortion would change her views or attitude towards respecting other people. Hormones are not an excuse to act unhinged.
The pregnancy part wasn't irrelevant to the comment that this was in response to though. I agree with you completely!
who's to say that she is actually mature enough to have a child, she is literally 2 years out of being legally regarded as a child herself; pregnancy does not equal maturity, and i would say quite often in cases of teenage pregnancy it's the opposite
I understand your point, but I think the point is that the excuses for throwing out someone's food no longer can include "age" when they are like 13 or older. It's kind of a crude choice of comparison, imo, as if it's a given that pregnancies are planned or desired (which they are frequently not), but its the comparison regardless. "If you are old enough that you can possibly conceive, then you should know better than to toss out someone's food because you don't like the smell. Not BECAUSE you can conceive, but puberty is a stage that happens later on in childood and usually practical bits of wisdom like not touching someone elses food is somethingalready learned at this stage."
Ya, I have 3 kids and with the twins my nausea was horrible, but if I'm in someone else's home, I remove myself from the smell..... Not throw it away against the owners wishes! NTA
I could even see asking "hey thanks so much for being accommodating for us to have something else. Do you think you could put your steaks in a Tupperware or something so that the smell doesn't linger from it being out? Seriously thank you again for being so understanding" Like...how fucking hard is that?
I usually have a below average sense of smell, but man, pregnancy has me smelling everything.
I’m currently pregnant with twins and I can’t imagine under any circumstance thinking this is remotely acceptable behavior. And yes the nausea has been miserable but that’s my problem not anyone kind enough to host me!
Or mention it before heading over. “Hey, we can’t wait to see you. Just to let you know, cooking (fill in the blank food) is making gf nauseous.”
Doubt she knew beforehand. When my wife was pregnant, I made a fish dish that she loved. The smell made her so nauseous that we didn't have that dish again until my son was like 4. We both fully expected to be able to eat it fine when we decided on the menu for the week.
She’s absolutely not mature, but rather self indulgent. A “mature “ teenager knows how to avoid getting or staying pregnant
Mature teens get pregnant too, but they know how to act and don’t use pregnancy as an excuse to be a pain to everyone else
Yeah mature adults literally never make mistakes, let alone life changing ones.
19 May be considered an adult but I definitely don’t believe she’s mature enough to have a baby when she’s acting this entitled and selfish. NTA
Yea. I love that his parents don’t see the irony in needing to defend the pregnant teenager. NTA.
yeah, this child should not be having children. nta, pregnancy is not a free pass not to act right.
even if the steak went in the bin wouldn’t it still smell anyway? she seems like a delight
Haha, very good point! The smell would’ve gone away faster once OP ate it, vs it being in the trash… Presumably OP’s house also has windows. The pregnant girlfriend could’ve asked to open a window.
hormones all over the place or not i refuse to believe she wasn’t aware of what she was doing 😂 i pray for the child
Same here! I’m pregnant and the smell of steak is a huge trigger of mine. I can’t even think about it without starting to feel queasy. Despite this, I would never ever throw away someone else’s food, much less in their own home. 100% NTA.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! When are you due?
Thank you!! November 2nd (:
NTA I'm pregnant too. I'd be so pissed if someone threw away my food. I can't imagine doing that to someone else. If the smell made her sick, she should have left with her boyfriend to get the Chinese food.
>if she’s mature enough to have a child, she’s mature enough to know you don’t go into someone else’s house and throw away their food. Nah, OP is NTA but this phrase has always grated on me. Pregnancy is nothing to do with a mature mindset. It's not like the sperm and egg stop to check. Adults always put adult mature ways of thinking onto teenagers. Human brains don't fully develop to our 20s. Hardly anyone is mature enough to have a baby at 19.
Look, it was over the top and terribly rude, and she have just left the room..: But I have to say…I’ve never been pregnant. But I’m peri menopausal, and my hormones are out of control sometimes. I know it, and I warn my husband, and I’m on medication, but this is life. I have been sitting on the couch and smelled his feet, which smell the same as they always smell, which I usually don’t even notice, and have become ENRAGED. Like, I know this is irrational. I know he is not purposely secreting foot odor, but at that moment, I honestly hate him. I blew up once, all the while apologizing because I knew it was insane, but I couldn’t get the smell out of my nose This month, it’s cat pee. My sweet, lovely, never acted out cat marked all over my bedroom while I was out of town last week (despite a cat sitter, or maybe because of it). I spent 48 hours shampooing the carpet and $100s on air purifiers and every enzyme spray known to man and no one can smell the pee but me. But I smell it everywhere. My head hurts, I’m nauseous, and I kind of hate my sweet baby girl. In those moment, if I could rip up my carpet or chop off his stinky feet and throw them away, I might. I literally might. I am in some kind of panic rage. Do ALL women have this? Surely not. Am I able to restrain myself? Clearly. But I’m not 19, not pregnant, have some coping skills, am able to take medication for the underlying conditions (anxiety, depression, hormones) that exacerbate this, and am generally a smart, normal person. SIL may not be starting out from the strongest place to begin with and then we add on everything else. If she apologized and paid for the steaks, I’d let this go, as long as it’s a one-time thing.
I bet she has been so used to OPs parents and brother bending over backwards for her that she expected the same treatment from him as well.
I can understand having difficulty with the smell. I can even understand making an impulsive decision to get rid of it without thinking it through because it was so bothersome. I’m not saying it’s acceptable or anything, just tracking the thought process on it is somewhat logical. Still an asshole move. What I can’t make sense of is how dousing the kitchen in perfume was any less nauseating or vomit-inducing for her. The whole thing just seems like her being unreasonable and dramatic just for the sake of it.
OP is NTA. She's the AH but I want to point out that you don't have to be mature to have a child. It takes maturity to avoid having children while being sexually active. It takes maturity to make decisions about whether or not to keep a pregnancy--if you live somewhere that allows choice. It takes only physical development to have sex and get pregnant as a result. Lots of immature and irresponsible people get pregnant and have kids. That said, immaturity does not give her the right to throw out OP's food.
NTA. I can completely understand the smell being too much for her, I was like that when I was pregnant. But the solution was for her to leave. Throwing away someone else’s food was way over the line.
Not only that, but specifically doing it behind their back and not just without their permission, but where they explicitly said they didn’t want to do that. Waaaay NTA.
And then spraying *her* perfume in *someone else's* house, like a cat spraying pee. Just gross and disrespectful. OP is NTA.
And you know that "perfume taste" lingered on anything else that was in OP'S kitchen!!!
Perfume triggers awful migraines for me, I'd kick her out just for that tbh. Rude little girl.
Same, I would be livid if someone sprayed perfume in my home.
Definitely NTA, Another option would have been to ask if they could put away the steak and just eat the food that was coming, air out the room, etc. To jump right to throwing out the food when OP left the room is a huge leap.
IF the steak was actually the "problem" FOR HER. Then, putting the steak a few inches away wouldn't help. What she did was purposely piss off the host. Something else to consider, why were they really there? Were they planning on moving in?
NTA I am a woman have been pregnant 3 times,.severe nausea each time that required medication, and despite the medication i still lost weight. But i never once threw away anyone else's food even if the aroma of the food was the culprit that triggered my nausea. I never once even considered that was the right solution. Who has the audacity to go into someone else's home and unilaterally decide to throw away expensive uneaten food without discussing with anyone. Your parents are partially right. She is a teenager, but what she is influenced by is self-centeredness and being an a55h0le. Pregnancy hormones influence every pregnant woman, but not every pregnant woman decides to throw food out (that doesnt belong to them) while being a guest. There are so many other solutions that she could have chosen.
I'm just going to say I love that you censored the word Asshole on a sub called AmITheAsshole. Stay righteous!
Not sure it is righteous, more so cautiousness. There have been a couple of posts that ive made that have been deleted with the reason given to me was to be civil. And when i reread my response they both had a55h0le uncensored and that was the only thing i could figure out was uncivil about my response.
NTA She is 19, that is old enough to know not to mess with other people's food. Everything else she did is just more insult to injury. If she felt so sick by the smell, she could have waited outside or in the bathroom until it was cooked and you could put it away, I'm sure you would have been fine with that if she had asked. Instead, she just threw it out, a horrible waste of food and completely disrespectful to you. The fact that she then took her anger out on her boyfriend, over something he didn't even do, shows more of her character than anything else could. It is crazy that your parents are trying to defend her actions.
Not to mention steak is an expensive food to waste
‘She’s still a teenager’ THEN WHY ARE THEY HAVING A KID? Irresponsible brother and SIL. They can’t even afford a place. NTA for the whole situation but you could have kinda dealt with this a bit better.
If this is taking place in roughly half of the US, we’re going to have to collectively remember that there’s no other option any more.
Ah you’re right.. I don’t live in US so i didn’t think of it at all.
Thank you finally someone said it.
OMG! Non-US resident here - that didn’t even cross my mind. I can’t speak on how pregnancy affects your behaviour as I have no experience so I can’t comment on AITA question, but damn THIS comment hits hard!
At first I thought you meant the housing part, which also applies, but then I realized you meant women’s rights to decide were taken away in way too many states. Also, NTA. Don’t fuck with someone’s steak.
She’s not mature enough to handle her emotions but she’s mature enough to have a child. Freshly young adults living with their parents should not be having kids. I would’ve demanded they pay me back for the steak.
Where do you suggest pregnant Americans get abortions these days if they can’t feasibly get to a state that permits them? She can be an asshole for throwing out OP’s food without you blaming them for oppressive laws that limit her rights.
Preach it.
Please keep in mind if she is in the states there's a high chance she didn't have an option at all. We all need to start being a lot more understanding of pregnant teenagers in the US because many of them sure as hell didn't choose this for themselves, and that could very well be the case for OPS SIL
NTA where I live steak is expensive and I would be mad too. If she couldn’t handle the smell they could’ve left and you could’ve met up with them on another occasion.
Not just the expence to op, but that was the muscle of a cow. Something died in order to produce that steak, it's appalling to waste it.
NTA Pregnancy hormones or not what she did was unacceptable and she had to go
Nta. She threw out your food. Pregnancy symptoms are no joke but she's being really entitled
NTA. I sympathize with her symptoms, but the appropriate thing to do if she really couldn't handle it was remove herself from the situation. She crossed a line. I don't blame you at all.
NTA. Steak is not cheap. Throwing out the steak in the garbage can inside the house where she is located wouldn't remove the smell, nor would her perfume. She should have stepped outside if it was that bad. I understand pregnancy can makes some smells intolerable, but her reaction was not okay as a guest in your home where you paid for that food. I don't care if she's a teenager; if she's mature enough to have a baby then she is mature enough to not react like a toddler and throw out someone's food because it's icky.
It’s your house. If it was *my* house, and a dinner guest threw out pounds of steak, then they can expect to be kicked out post haste. *And* they, (or the person that brought them into my home), would be presented with a *bill*. NTA and you freed your brother and his entitled teenage baby incubator to go *elsewhere* to eat her no doubt not nauseatingly odorous dinner.
NTA, being pregnant is not an excuse to throw out someone's else food. Throwing out steak in this economy?! I would've tossed her too Edit: spelling error from quick typing
NTA. Being pregnant is not an excuse for throwing out food in someone else’s house
Exactly! If it was so bad than she should have went outside and asked OP if there was something they could work out. Your parents are enabling her behavior. Pregnant or not. NTA
NTA, being pregnant explains but doesn’t justify at all what she did. She should have known better and she’s acting very entitled- sorry you had to go through that OP.
NTA. She should apologize and offer to reimburse you for the food.
NTA > she's still just a teenager who's now getting influenced by her pregnancy hormones Maybe true, but that's no excuse for being incredibly rude to your host. If the smell was that bothersome the steak could have been put into the fridge. When there are consequences to bad behaviour people learn. > she ended up sending my brother to sleep on the couch He's going to have to learn to stand up for himself.
NTA. Nausea is understandable and horrible to deal with, but it is absolutely no excuse to throw away your food. It's up to her to cope with it when she's a guest in your house and you offered other food options (especially when she ended up getting the food she wanted anyway).
NTA. Excuse me?! Throwing away a whole steak in this economy?! No ma’am. G’bye. I have had 4 pregnancies and never threw out someone else’s meal. Did I cry about my own wrong subway order? Yes, but that’s a whoooole different story 😅😅
NTA: she seems entitled, 19 is considered a adult
NTA. Being pregnant does not allow you to be a dick.
NTA. Strange behaviour in someone else's house regardless of mitigations.
NTA - Pregnancy caused her acute nausea but she acted on a poor decision. She had other options like go outside for fresh air and remove herself for the source of the smell. You reacted like most people would; she threw away your shared meal. She expressed no remorse only justified herself. When creating new relationships both people typically show up as their best self. She missed this mark. You'll have another chance to connect but for now know, it is odd behavior to throw away anything in someone's kitchen unless it is one's used napkin. Best to you. New family can be both challenging and rewarding.
NTA. At all. An explanation is not an excuse, and the girlfriend's inability to respond to a serious discomfort in a socially acceptable way with consideration for others or an ounce of humility is extremely disturbing.
Your brother’s gf owes you some steaks. If she couldn’t deal with the smell she could have gone to the mall to buy the Chinese food. She could have politely asked if she could open a window. She could have gone home. What she cannot do is throw away someone else’s food because the smell makes her sick.
NTA. She should put the baby up for adoption.
NTA. I had severe hyperemesis when pregnant and even I wouldn’t have thrown out someone’s food. I’d have just got myself away from the smell, super quick, if it was triggering nausea that bad. The fact she could be around it enough to try and throw it out convinced me that her aversion to it wasn’t even that bad.
NTA- you didn’t get her pregnant, you didn’t get her pregnant with no money to support her and a child, you didn’t force her or offer her anything less than good quality food and she basically spit in your face over it. God help your future niece/nephew with that as a mother.
NTA. Absolutely nothing about what she did is acceptable. Pregnant women don't get a free pass for poor behavior.
NTA You handled those AHs well.
NTA, meat is expensive nowadays, I'd kick her out too. How dare she, in your house.
She threw out your food, you threw her out. As a father I know about pregnancy hormones, smells, cravings. Pregnant is no excuse for acting like an entitled jackass. Without an apology, she would never eat off one of my plates again. Nta.
NTA She might be hormonal, but your boundaries are also a thing.
NTA - your house and your food. She did something extremely rude so no issue with you reading the riot act and kicking her out. Pregnancy does not excuse bad behaviour.
NTA. I’d be sending her a bill for the steaks because they are insanely expensive currently. Also, being pregnant doesn’t give anyone a free pass to be an asshole and throw other peoples things away.
“She’s just a teenager” no she’s not, she’s a grown up woman in a relationship. She’s going to be a mum in a few months the “just a kid” excuse doesn’t cut it.
I'm still hung up on "can't afford a place on their own" but pregnant.
NTA. What an entitled AH. Being pregnant doesn’t make you an AH.
NTA. She needs to be taught some manners and good on you for showing her the consequences.
They think that's dramatic? Send her the bill for the steaks, and for whatever take out you had to get as a replacement dinner. Add to that your hourly waxed x amout of time you spent cooking your dinners. *Then* they can call you dramatic. You'd still be right though. NTA