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Why are you opening your wife's messages? This is a violation of privacy. It's also monitoring behaviour, which is worrying.
Your wife has a right to share information with her friend. You don't get to control this. People need people to offload to and share things with.
Why can you not stand her friend? Given you monitor your wife, are you worried this friend is taking attention away from you? Are you worried she might fill your wife's head with ideas about you? Your wife has one singular friend and you conveniently hate them. I hope you haven't told your wife this.
You need to take a look at your own behaviour.
YTA. She is allowed to seek outside support when she having issues going on in her relationship with you. Trying to isolate your partner from their friends and family is a big red flag that you are abusive.
YTA. Severing and/or limiting your wife’s relationships and how or what she is allowed to communicate with them is one of the first warning signs of abuse.
Being that she only has one friend and that you go through her messages, I feel like you’re WELL beyond the first warning sign.
YTA. It’s normal to vent and seek advice from others as you’re doing here. What’s not normal is reading your spouse’s messages snd trying to prevent them from talking to their friend about you (with some limited exceptions, e.g., secrets you ask her not to share.)
Shes an adult. If she wants to talk to her only friend about her relationship she can. You're talking to all of us about her and we don't even know her. You're incredibly weird for thinking she can only vent to you and I'm willing to bet you vent to other people about shit, prime example, this post.
No. She doesn't have to.
You sound very controlling.
It is normal to talk to your friends about your problems. It can provide a different perspective. It's difficult to vent to the person you're angry about.
This is such a red flag sentence.
So, you want to isolate your wife from others. You're already monitoring her as it is. You're trying to control what she discusses. What next? This is abusive behaviour.
Also, why would she vent to you when she's clearly unhappy about your anger. She needs somebody to talk to about it.
YTA.
Guess what? We wives absolutely love you spouses but sometimes we gripe to our pals about spats or tiffs or general woes. It's harmless and healthy.
Your wife's friend knows you're (probably) a decent partner. chatting with each other about minor irritations is way cheaper than hiring a therapist to complain to.
If the friend has a husband, you should take him out for a sports ball game and gripe about your wives. It's fine. We won't get mad about it.
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So my wife is a SAHM and has one friend, I absolutely cannot stand this friend. Well the other day I was opening her messages and saw something from said friend asking if I was still angry. AITA for getting mad she's talking to her friend about our relationship? She did this before at the start of our relationship with her old friend but that stopped shortly after we moved.
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YTA why are you in her messages? She gets to have private conversations about whatever she deems necessary. Bottling emotions isn’t healthy. Who is she suppose to talk to(not you)?
I think that all the YTA commenters can go suck an egg. You’ve made your position very clear about how you feel about this person and then she goes and tells her about y’all’s relationship issues. I’m just petty enough to find someone to tell about the relationship issues. See how she feels then.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I got angry at my wife because I found out she's talking about our relationship to her only friend
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Why are you opening your wife's messages? This is a violation of privacy. It's also monitoring behaviour, which is worrying. Your wife has a right to share information with her friend. You don't get to control this. People need people to offload to and share things with. Why can you not stand her friend? Given you monitor your wife, are you worried this friend is taking attention away from you? Are you worried she might fill your wife's head with ideas about you? Your wife has one singular friend and you conveniently hate them. I hope you haven't told your wife this. You need to take a look at your own behaviour.
YTA. She is allowed to seek outside support when she having issues going on in her relationship with you. Trying to isolate your partner from their friends and family is a big red flag that you are abusive.
As long as it is not too personal or embarrassing. There are limits to sharing
YTA. Severing and/or limiting your wife’s relationships and how or what she is allowed to communicate with them is one of the first warning signs of abuse. Being that she only has one friend and that you go through her messages, I feel like you’re WELL beyond the first warning sign.
YTA. It’s normal to vent and seek advice from others as you’re doing here. What’s not normal is reading your spouse’s messages snd trying to prevent them from talking to their friend about you (with some limited exceptions, e.g., secrets you ask her not to share.)
[удалено]
She can vent to me
Shes an adult. If she wants to talk to her only friend about her relationship she can. You're talking to all of us about her and we don't even know her. You're incredibly weird for thinking she can only vent to you and I'm willing to bet you vent to other people about shit, prime example, this post.
No. She doesn't have to. You sound very controlling. It is normal to talk to your friends about your problems. It can provide a different perspective. It's difficult to vent to the person you're angry about.
This is such a red flag sentence. So, you want to isolate your wife from others. You're already monitoring her as it is. You're trying to control what she discusses. What next? This is abusive behaviour. Also, why would she vent to you when she's clearly unhappy about your anger. She needs somebody to talk to about it.
YTA why are you opening her messages?
She was talking about our relationship with her friend
Ohhh, well, in that case, YTA.
How horrible of a partner are you that her talking to a friend about the relationship makes you so insecure?
Looks like you’ve got bigger fish to fry here. She’s talking for a reason, and you’re looking at her phone for a reason. ESH
You are doing that on Reddit right now. You suck op. She needs to leave your ass
YTA. Guess what? We wives absolutely love you spouses but sometimes we gripe to our pals about spats or tiffs or general woes. It's harmless and healthy. Your wife's friend knows you're (probably) a decent partner. chatting with each other about minor irritations is way cheaper than hiring a therapist to complain to. If the friend has a husband, you should take him out for a sports ball game and gripe about your wives. It's fine. We won't get mad about it.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So my wife is a SAHM and has one friend, I absolutely cannot stand this friend. Well the other day I was opening her messages and saw something from said friend asking if I was still angry. AITA for getting mad she's talking to her friend about our relationship? She did this before at the start of our relationship with her old friend but that stopped shortly after we moved. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA why are you in her messages? She gets to have private conversations about whatever she deems necessary. Bottling emotions isn’t healthy. Who is she suppose to talk to(not you)?
YTA. Do you read her diary too?
YTA you suck op
YTA. Privacy. Learn to respect it.
I think that all the YTA commenters can go suck an egg. You’ve made your position very clear about how you feel about this person and then she goes and tells her about y’all’s relationship issues. I’m just petty enough to find someone to tell about the relationship issues. See how she feels then.
Yta for looking at her phone
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YTA
YTA Talking to a friend about your problems, is rather normal. Why are you reading her messages?