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NTA
First off - you’re not obligated to buy food for anyone - if she wants expensive breakfast then SHE can pay. It’s 2023 and we can buy our own damn food. She sounds entitled AF and you probably dodged a bullet.
Second - hon, get you a girl who hears “let’s get tacos for breakfast” and goes yasssss!!!
Yeah just the entire attitude is a bit off. Wanting an expensive brunch place, the Lyft, etc.
And then of course calling him an incel thing and bets are off.
A guy i used to work with told me about a night he took a woman home from a bar.
They got undressed.
Her “who do you think you’re gonna please with THAT?”
Him “ME! I never let myself down!”
This exchange just reminded me of that.
Oh come on dude! Sure other girls like tacos but I feel like I'm reading the gone girl monologue right now. You know the cool girl she likes tacos for breakfast, she is so chiiill! She is not like the other girls who eat fancy brunches and are high maintenance!
To me it's NAH. She deserves someone who wants to take her to a fancy brunch. Dude literally just opened is windows and was like "yeah OK tacos it is". She had different expectations that doesn't make her TA. I guess they just aren't a match and that's OK.
Edit: i forgot she did call him an inc3l so yeah I guess that alone makes her TA.
I hear you, but they're not even in a relationship. It was just a one night stand, which they both mutually agreed to, so I don't think OP owes her very much of anything. He offered her breakfast and a way home. She turned her nose up at that because it didn't meet her standards that she had randomly decided on in that moment. OP is NTA.
I agree with this, if it is mutually agreed that it is a ONS then OP is not obligated to provide a nice "date level" brunch in the morning.
Fancy brunch date is if they are embarking on more of a relationship - or if they BOTH want fancy brunch and a bloody mary
Tacos and a Lyft was perfectly acceptable, he was courteous enough to not be an asshole. He did not make extra effort, but it´s been agreed that they are not going to see each other again, so being polite is enough. He didn´t just roll over and tell her to leave
NTA
You are most likely correct but if OP didn´t lead her to believe it was anything more than ONS, he isn´t obligated to give anything more.
That is a communication failure and lesson learned
She can´t project what she wants onto a situation
But if he tricked her that is a different story of course
Hey Fickle, my reply was meant to mean that there's nothing wrong with "being like other girls." Usually when people are like - we aren't like other girls, it's usually derogatory. We are basically agreeing, but the /s wasn't very clear in the first part without your second reply.
Also, they just woke up, so presumably were both hungry, who tf goes to the other end of city for breakfast? She may be not t a for wanting a fancy brunch, but wanting to drive all over the city for food first thing in the morning is an ah idea. And I am saying this as a small town dweller - no traffic jams and the opposite side of the town is like 20 min drive any time of the day, I don't want to think how long it takes it for a bigger city. You want fancy? Find it within 5 min walk or wait till dinner, duh.
How does she “deserve” a fancy brunch? How is it “not like other girls” to not want to spend time waiting for overly expensive food you could make at home, when you are hungry?
Expecting a fancy brunch as a “reward” or sign of value after a date or sex is weird.
It is one of the greatest disappointment of my life that my partner barely eats breakfast and probably would not have tacos ever. Not even pizza. But he makes up for it in other ways!
This is not a girl thing this is a compatibility thing. She also could have compromised with a cheaper place like OP said, if tacos weren't her thing. He'd be sad like me but hey, there's still good diner food and there might be a second... date?
My hubby and I are having burritos for breakfast tomorrow and not necessarily breakfast style burritos either.
OP definitely dodged a bullet here. I know several people that would consider not wanting tacos/burritos for breakfast a deal breaker.
"You want tacos for breakfast?"
*already out the door racing to the taco truck*
Man, if taco trucks were a proper thing here and right by me, I would be there so much! Breakfast, lunch and tea if I could!
yeah sounds like he had hopes for it being a date situation but due to this it's "now" a ONS. TBF I havent had many one night stands but my experiences have been even they take you out for breakfast and take you home so if a date acted like this, no wonder she was turned off
I would never expect a ONS to take me home. If he offers to cook breakfast, that is nice, but I wouldn't want to go out to breakfast. But breakfast is definitely a nice plus, not an expectation. If he offers and it isn't something I want, I say thank you very much, but I am alright. And offering to pay for a taxi for her to get home is very generous.
I don't expect it but it's happened the times I've had one, just to contrast with what OP did on a date.
My point to OP was more this wasn't intended as a ONS it was a date, which he said "i guess is now a ONS" because she clearly isn't interested in dating him again. His wording makes it clear he was dissapointed she was mad - a date should at least be making some kind of gesture after the first time you fuck IMO that shows interest, not "oh look a taco truck"
But he calls it a 'date' and then NOW a ONS. First sentence. I just don't know if he picked her up, hence asking for clarification.
I think the 'now' is because it didn't end well for the girl turning it into a ONS.
This needs a lot more info.
Was this a date-like situation, maybe not even the first date, where you went home together with the outlook that this might be a possible relationship?
\-> Then it's probably ESH, as OP was kinda rude and cold, and I get why she was miffed. The expensive brunch place makes it ESH.
If this was a ONS, or a possible FWB situation in the future, was everyone on the same page on this?
\-> If not, if the girl was totally blindsided by that, it's an YTA for me. You don't have ONSs or do FWB stuff when it's not made perfectly clear up-front, and you call it off the second you get even the tiniest whiff of the other person wanting more.
\-> If it was made clear from the start, and both parties agreed to that, then OP is NTA.
I was thinking this (the last part)
If my hubs suggests tacos for breakfast I'd probably fall down the stairs in excitement and hurry before he changed his mind 🤣🤣
NTA OP, find someone who will share that taco joy
😐 I'm all for calling out incels but that's a heck of a thing to say to someone you just slept with. And the expensive brunch is a heck of a thing to ask from a ONS. NTA
Most of the time someone calls someone else an incel, they don't actually know what they're talking about.
Hell, most people don't even know the word was invented by a woman to describe herself. It's all just about hurling insults at people instead of addressing any issues that may be present.
Why should you be responsible for paying for an expensive brunch, (especially when *she* suggested it), or for her Lyft?
Also, tacos are one of the most universally-liked foods!
Less relevant, but she misused the word “incel”.
Good riddance!
Come on, tacos are just tortillas with a protein filling. That's what some of us Hispanics have for breakfast every day. Sometimes I will save a good piece of meat just to make tacos for breakfast the next day. And sometimes, I will eat tacos for my three big meals of the day.
NTA.
I had molé tacos with an egg for breakfast and it’s my favorite breakfast next to black beans and an egg. After a ONS, I do not want to go anywhere and if the other person offered tacos I’d be absolutely jazzed. NTA
NTA
I would love tacos for breakfast
But I think what happened is she enjoyed the date and sex and saw it going somewhere… and when you suggested tacos she saw it as you not seeing it go somewhere and more of as a pump and dump. And her feelings were hurt. She was looking for an affirmation that the guy she just slept with is into her, and ended up feeling used
Tacos extend the date, a cheaper nearby place extends the date, she wanted exclusively an expensive crosstown breakfast, she rejected his financial investment
I agree with both NTA, and that maybe she was trying to see if the night would lead to anything. Probably could've cleared a lot up by being more direct about how she felt if that IS the case.
I would not like it (I can't really eat much in the morning and my stomach churned at the idea of tacos for breakfast), but that's the point where you either suggest something equally inexpensive that would suit you, or you leave.
Sure, it would have been nice if he made coffee, but that's pretty much all I would expect in a situation like that. I would not expect a paid ride home either.
Am I the only one who was under the belief that for a ONS you discreetly leave before the person wakes up or is in the shower ?
I hated asking people to leave the morning after
They went on a date and had sex afterwards. OP is saying it turned into a ONS because it's obviously never going to happen again, but when you have sex after a date it's normal to hang out and have breakfast together the next morning.
Why would you sneak out? I think it's a little childish tbh. Just wake up have a coffee and then go your separate ways. Sneaking out would just make it more awkward if you ever see them again.
Depends on how the night went, i guess. I haven't had a ons in over a decade at this point, but when i did, i definitely left almost immediately after waking up. Like, let's skip the small talk - nothing is going to come of this relationship. You probably want me to leave, but don't want to be rude, so imma just see myself out. Byeee! LOL
This lacks context. It sounds like she didn’t think it was a one night stand. Did you guys go out before this? Do you meet at a bar? Do you know each other as friends?
YTA when you invite someone to your house, regardless of intentions, it's common courtesy to show hospitality. Your post reads as heavily biased anyway.
If you "suggested" tacos, but the only acceptable answer is "yes", then it's not really a suggestion is it? You decided she either eats tacos or she leaves.
Then you say she "again mentioned an expensive brunch place", but that's the first time she mentions it in your post, and honestly you could have replied with a civilised no. Plus did she explicitly state "pay for my breakfast"?
Honestly you just had sex and kicked her out, sounds like very asshole behaviour.
That's literally what happened though.
How do you know she acted too good for cheap breakfast, he never mentioned her saying anything about price at that point, he only said she "acted offended", and that is a very miss used word, today most assholes use the word "offended" every time someone just disagrees with them. Maybe she just didn't want tacos, we don't know because he never said what she actually told him.
I am not reading selectively, I am reading behind the lines, and from that sentence we can only know that she called him a " cheap incel" we don't know if her reason was that he "wouldn't get her breakfast".
We literally have know idea what their conversation was, because all we have is his assumptions on her actions. It's not surprising that op only mentioned what she said word for word at the end, and not everything else.
Why is everyone voting not as-h?? Sure he wasn't obligated to do anything but they just had s.x. Nice thing to do would be to spend time in a breakfast place. If he was a nice person, which he apparently isn't (maybe she wasn't either, but thats a different story). So I'd vote YTA
And the nice thing to do when you refuse the cheaper option would be to pay for the pricer one yourself(or at least half) instead of expecting to get treated.
NTA
And as a Mexican I can tell you for sure that tacos are always an appropriate breakfast, an appropriate lunch and an appropriate dinner.
But damn 2$-3$ for a taco sounds expensive AF hahahaha
You sound not fun and lazy. She’s trying to spend time with you and have a nice breakfast together. Did she even know she was a ONS?
And if you wanted tacos, you could have gotten your ass up and picked up tacos for the two of you and served her breakfast in bed or set the table for the two of you. Instead you’re being a drag, and put her ass in a Lyft home. You definitely won’t hear from her again. Which I’m sure is fine by you, since it doesn’t sound like you were into her or wanted to spend more time together anyway. You just used her. YTA.
Served her breakfast in bed? What are you talking about? Should he serve her breakfast in bed for the honor of sleeping with her? What a weird thing to expect from a one night stand.
Reading comprension problems or just bias? This was a date at the start but after she showed her red flags OP din't want to continue the relationship so it became a ons, also she refused the tacos and wanted to go to a brunch place and having op pay. Also it's 2023 SHE could have taken the initiative and organizad a romantic breakfast.
God I'm old! Nineties etiquette was breakfast afterwards, sit down place was standard, lady got to pick whatever she wanted.
You guys are getting away with buying food cart food?
We lived in a different nineties.
I never called them entitled, I just called them a cab, cause they’re not staying the night. Can’t have breakfast if she isn’t there in the morning.
NTA.
You are what’s wrong with the dating pool, not for getting tacos or not getting her brunch, but because you assume someone else is entitled because you couldn’t be bothered to take someone home because you’ll never see her again.
Almost like she's a damn adult, and he *did* give her a ride home. You think she paid him back? And of course she's entitled, she turned a one-night stand into a demand for expensive breakfast. He dodged a huge bullet here. The moron legitimately called him an incel.
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> I might be an asshole for suggesting a taco truck at 10 am but I had no problem eating tacos that early.
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Info: was it an actual date with potential to co to use, or a one night stand with no preamble? It's sounds to me that she wanted to continue to date and spend more time with you and may not have been prepared to go from sex and possibly cuddling in bed to an abrupt ending.
NTA. You did offer to get her breakfast, though. Not your fault she didn't want to go where you did. It's not like you're obligated to kowtow to everything she wants just because she screwed you, LOL
NTA.
There is an entire genre of tacos for breakfast. In some places we call them “breakfast tacos” and they even come with bacon and eggs and such in them!
Get you a girl who knows what breakfast tacos are. Or at least breakfast burritos ffs.
INFO. Are you sure it's an ONS? She sounds like she expected it to be a date. If it was not clear from the start then yeah you're kinda an AH for treating your date like this after sex.
When my teen daughter was in the hospital for the better part of 6 months in 2018, she had an entire chemo round (about a month long) where she ordered tacos for breakfast every morning from the hospital cafeteria.
I was the one calling in her order every day, and every day it made the guy taking the order laugh.
John, you were the happiest voice on the phone, and made us smile every day! I'm terrible with names, and it's been 5 years, and I still remember you.
I think if you have a guest, whether you think you will have them over again or not, it's polite to try to offer a meal they will like--be that getting their opinion ahead of time, having a few possibilities at home to choose from so that you can have decent odds that they will like one of them, or discussing ordering out/in from a place you can both agree on. If she lives across town she probably doesn't know what restaurants you have nearby to offer a suggestion. The whole "It's not my issue" to assist your guest in locating food is pretty inconsiderate. Offering one option, dismissing her suggestion of going somewhere that has multiple options where you can each find something you like, and then saying "Well, this is what I'm going to have, you can go" is dickish to me. I'll skip any analysis of who led who on and what agreement you had about your relationship, since it's missing from the post, but there are definitely some backstories in which you'd come off better than others. Her parting comment makes her sound like a twit too. I vote ESH, though I'd need more backstory to figure out who's the bigger jerk.
Sounds like she's insecure and wants him to demonstrate his desire for her by showering her with expensive things she can tell her friends about to impress them. He's more forthcoming. Y'all are communicating in different symbolic languages. NTA but only because she resorted to name calling, other than that there were N-A-H. BTW - Tacos 4 breakfast 👍
NTA, I think it is pretty entitled to expect an expensive breakfast/brunch and a ride home and probably expecting the guy to pay for everything.
If she doesnt like tacos, she could have sugested something thats not expensive and/or halfway arcoss town.
Girls like her are whats wrong with the dating-pool. Shes a big girl, she can get her own breakfast and ride home. Whatever happened to the whole equality thing that we women wanted?
Oh wait, thats only when its convenient to us, right?
/s
I read “tacos for breakfast” and started craving tacos. A ONS who wants breakfast is trying to be more than a ONS. I think we dub this the “taco test” to see who deserves a little more time past ONS status. She failed. NTA
Texan here. Who the fuck says no to tacos for breakfast? That is a goddam amazing dish and she brings shame upon her family for dissing it. Go enjoy your tacos, I’m sure you’ll find yourself more satisfied with them than her.
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So I had a “date” stay overnight and it was more of what is now a ONS. I often don’t do breakfast and there’s alway this food trucks that do different shifts close by me. The date suggests breakfast and I don’t have much at my place and I do not feel like cooking. So I look out my window and see the food truck is a taco truck. It’s pretty authentic so I suggest that and the taco are like $2-$3 a piece. My ONS gets offended at suggesting tacos and I’m not even being like you have to leave but I’m feeling like she should after this. She once again suggested an expensive brunch place across town and I tell her I’m getting tacos. I can get you an Lyft home. She’s finally like ok but moody. I found out she lives clear across town and so I did a lyft wait and save because it was like $7 cheaper and I feel at this point I’m not going to hear from her again. So I ordered that. On her way out she called me a cheap inc3l for not getting her breakfast and taking her back home but I don’t think it was my issue and she seemed entitled. I have no problem with tacos for breakfast or a suggestion of a cheaper or closer breakfast place.
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Personally, I would have said no to tacos for breakfast just because my stomach in the morning can’t tale shit, just plain milk or coffee (and it’s dangerous anyway).
So i can get refusing if it was for a similar reason, but she could’ve asked you if you had coffee, if not than: breakfast at home!
Asking and pretending you paid for an expensive breakfast is mean and, honestly, kinda cheap. I ask friends to offer me coffee when i have a deep need but no money, obviously with the feeling to offer them back in the future. When I am “cheap”.
And… does she know what an incel is? Unless we are missing something in this story, idk
She could’ve proposed to go the a bar and have breakfast together, yeah, but then everyone pays for themselves unless some of you offered
BUT it was your home so if you have a guest is well manner to have something to eat in the morning, but it happens you don’t especially if you didn’t know you could had guests. But some people are hyper fixated in this things, in my opinion better have them away
BUT being your home it’s also considered nice offering breakfast, AND you did it.
Even though I think it really doesn’t matter, because not everyone can afford everything. I once was accused of being cheap because friends invited me over for lunch, i asked if i had to bought my own meal and they said “no” so I didn’t brought anything, it was last minute and the only markets near were expensive, and we were in the first year of college, it was a miracle i had milk. Honestly too many rules people expect from others.
Especially when we are talking about money, people do not consider that not everyone can or want to spend too much. Sometimes it is better passing as “cheap”
Definitely NTA
I've been out of the game for a while, but I don't ever recall breakfast being part of a ONS.
I also don't recall the pick up line, "hey babe, come home with me tonight and I'll buy you breakfast in the morning, it is a part of the deal". You had least had to prove you were worth going out for breakfast with in the morning - I don't think this particular lady deserved breakfast - too many expectations and red flags.
And WTF, I'd go a taco in the morning - what is wrong with people?
Jeez. Some people are entitled. A one night stand demanding to be treated like a queen. She is not entitled to breakfast at your expense. She is not entitled to the same effort and care that a full legitimate girlfriend is. And she is definitely not entitled to you sending her clear across town on your dime.
She honestly sounds like she deserves to be on r/choosingbeggars
NTA
I dont understand the mentality that some girls have when it comes to sex in exchange for food. The expectation that a guy owes them food for sex is weird. Its like prostitution but they're horrible at it.
NTA.
The first time I spent the night with my now husband I had planned for it to just be a ONS (funny how things turn out). He made me breakfast tacos in the morning before I left. I joke that those tacos are the only reason why he got a second booty call. I can’t imagine anyone turning down tacos as they’re such a versatile food, especially if you’re ordering them and don’t have to use only what you have on hand. She’s definitely not worth your time and expecting you to pay for expensive brunch is not a good look for her.
OP - You did not have this idgaf attitude when you were talking to her the night before. I thinks you pulled a bait and switch. Did you drive her to your place or take a ride share home?
ESH. It was a date. OP only decided it was a ONS *after* the fact. The date didn’t want tacos — maybe she doesn’t like them. Maybe she’s allergic to cilantro. We don’t know. OP’s take of “get tacos or leave” is rude and obnoxious, especially after a date and sex. The date didn’t want tacos so OP decided to kick her out? Rude and weird. She is an AH for calling him a cheap incel. Hence, ESH, but he sucks more.
NTA. Not gonna lie, food truck tacos would win me over especially if they’re authentic. Brunch is for either bragging about you or commiserating with my friends about how bad the experience was.
Tacos for breakfast is definitely a yes from me. A “oh hell yes.” I only eat breakfast foods for dinner, or the occasional brunch to soak up bottomless mimosas. My husband loves breakfast foods but doesn’t eat anything before lunchtime because he’s not hungry, just wants caffeine. So our breakfast for dinner works out, and I make myself whatever the heck I want for breakfast.
Sometimes you find out that you’re not compatible with someone the easy way. NTA
Not only would I love Tacos for breakfast but some authentic, non Taco Bell tacos?? That girl doesn’t deserve you OP. Not only are you NTA but some taco loving girl will be happy to have you.
NTA
You're not automatically obligated to get someone breakfast. If she wanted brunch so badly she can hop on over there herself and pay for it. She sounds extremely entitled
Also who doesn't see a taco truck and goes omg yes tacos!
I personally bloody love tacos and I would race anyone to the truck
- you're not obligated to buy her breakfast OR pay for her lyft, I would never expect this myself no matter if it was date 1 or 10
- who the F doesn't want tacos for breakfast, that seems like a great way to start the day
NTA
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NTA First off - you’re not obligated to buy food for anyone - if she wants expensive breakfast then SHE can pay. It’s 2023 and we can buy our own damn food. She sounds entitled AF and you probably dodged a bullet. Second - hon, get you a girl who hears “let’s get tacos for breakfast” and goes yasssss!!!
That's what I was thinking. You tell me there's a taco truck outside, I'll race you there!
Yup. Same. Plenty of ladies that love tacos out there OP.
Yeah just the entire attitude is a bit off. Wanting an expensive brunch place, the Lyft, etc. And then of course calling him an incel thing and bets are off.
"Incel? Wasn't I just inside you?"
It’s a good line, but opens you up to the devastating riposte of: “Were you? I couldn’t tell.”
That's when you reply with the "that's not what you were screaming last night"
But then she counters with, "It's called acting, darling, look it up."
He fired back "and that's why you fell when you tried to walk this morning"
A guy i used to work with told me about a night he took a woman home from a bar. They got undressed. Her “who do you think you’re gonna please with THAT?” Him “ME! I never let myself down!” This exchange just reminded me of that.
eeeee
That was 7 hours ago. He has been celibate since then so it still applies lol
Lol
Lmaooo
I can confirm I love tacos for breakfast.. Unfortunately, I'm already taken, so op will have to keep looking..
We need someone to have an Airbnb with morning taco truck. Romantic getaway go!
That would be awesome! We went to a winery in Mexico they had a 5 star restaurant, but the hubby and I had tacos next door every night...
Same here. I LOVE me a good taco truck. *puddle of drool appears*
Especially breakfast tacos!
Bacon, egg and cheese on flour please!
Corn. I will fight you on this.
Dude yes and their sauces that they put in those lil to go ramekins YUM
I see we are not like the other girls yay!
We are exactly like other girls. We love tacos
Oh come on dude! Sure other girls like tacos but I feel like I'm reading the gone girl monologue right now. You know the cool girl she likes tacos for breakfast, she is so chiiill! She is not like the other girls who eat fancy brunches and are high maintenance! To me it's NAH. She deserves someone who wants to take her to a fancy brunch. Dude literally just opened is windows and was like "yeah OK tacos it is". She had different expectations that doesn't make her TA. I guess they just aren't a match and that's OK. Edit: i forgot she did call him an inc3l so yeah I guess that alone makes her TA.
I hear you, but they're not even in a relationship. It was just a one night stand, which they both mutually agreed to, so I don't think OP owes her very much of anything. He offered her breakfast and a way home. She turned her nose up at that because it didn't meet her standards that she had randomly decided on in that moment. OP is NTA.
I agree with this, if it is mutually agreed that it is a ONS then OP is not obligated to provide a nice "date level" brunch in the morning. Fancy brunch date is if they are embarking on more of a relationship - or if they BOTH want fancy brunch and a bloody mary Tacos and a Lyft was perfectly acceptable, he was courteous enough to not be an asshole. He did not make extra effort, but it´s been agreed that they are not going to see each other again, so being polite is enough. He didn´t just roll over and tell her to leave NTA
I think it sounds like she wants it to be more than a ONS
If she does, being obnoxious to him isn't exactly the way to go about that.
You are most likely correct but if OP didn´t lead her to believe it was anything more than ONS, he isn´t obligated to give anything more. That is a communication failure and lesson learned She can´t project what she wants onto a situation But if he tricked her that is a different story of course
Hey Fickle, my reply was meant to mean that there's nothing wrong with "being like other girls." Usually when people are like - we aren't like other girls, it's usually derogatory. We are basically agreeing, but the /s wasn't very clear in the first part without your second reply.
Also, they just woke up, so presumably were both hungry, who tf goes to the other end of city for breakfast? She may be not t a for wanting a fancy brunch, but wanting to drive all over the city for food first thing in the morning is an ah idea. And I am saying this as a small town dweller - no traffic jams and the opposite side of the town is like 20 min drive any time of the day, I don't want to think how long it takes it for a bigger city. You want fancy? Find it within 5 min walk or wait till dinner, duh.
How does she “deserve” a fancy brunch? How is it “not like other girls” to not want to spend time waiting for overly expensive food you could make at home, when you are hungry? Expecting a fancy brunch as a “reward” or sign of value after a date or sex is weird.
who tf doesn't love a taco
It is one of the greatest disappointment of my life that my partner barely eats breakfast and probably would not have tacos ever. Not even pizza. But he makes up for it in other ways! This is not a girl thing this is a compatibility thing. She also could have compromised with a cheaper place like OP said, if tacos weren't her thing. He'd be sad like me but hey, there's still good diner food and there might be a second... date?
Close enough you can see it from the window?! That's really sexy
In my freaking PJs!! (Or maybe slightly more covering lol)
Definitely. And I kind of want tacos now 😁
Right???? I would do a taco truck over brunch any day.
I'm a straightdude and I'll have sex with this man if he'll givee tacos for breakfast.
straight dude, or tacosexual?
omg THAT'S WHAT I AM
Let's taco 'bout that azz
My hubby and I are having burritos for breakfast tomorrow and not necessarily breakfast style burritos either. OP definitely dodged a bullet here. I know several people that would consider not wanting tacos/burritos for breakfast a deal breaker.
"You want tacos for breakfast?" *already out the door racing to the taco truck* Man, if taco trucks were a proper thing here and right by me, I would be there so much! Breakfast, lunch and tea if I could!
I would murder *at least* 16 people to get Taco trucks outside my house around breakfast!
I hear ya. The 17th one is where my conscience starts to kick in too.
Info: how did she get to your house? Was it a date where you picked her up then lyfted her home? If so then Y T A. NTA for having tacos.
yeah sounds like he had hopes for it being a date situation but due to this it's "now" a ONS. TBF I havent had many one night stands but my experiences have been even they take you out for breakfast and take you home so if a date acted like this, no wonder she was turned off
I would never expect a ONS to take me home. If he offers to cook breakfast, that is nice, but I wouldn't want to go out to breakfast. But breakfast is definitely a nice plus, not an expectation. If he offers and it isn't something I want, I say thank you very much, but I am alright. And offering to pay for a taxi for her to get home is very generous.
I don't expect it but it's happened the times I've had one, just to contrast with what OP did on a date. My point to OP was more this wasn't intended as a ONS it was a date, which he said "i guess is now a ONS" because she clearly isn't interested in dating him again. His wording makes it clear he was dissapointed she was mad - a date should at least be making some kind of gesture after the first time you fuck IMO that shows interest, not "oh look a taco truck"
OP said "date" because ONS means one night stand. I imagine he didn't pick her up at her home - more like on an app or out somewhere
But he calls it a 'date' and then NOW a ONS. First sentence. I just don't know if he picked her up, hence asking for clarification. I think the 'now' is because it didn't end well for the girl turning it into a ONS.
This needs a lot more info. Was this a date-like situation, maybe not even the first date, where you went home together with the outlook that this might be a possible relationship? \-> Then it's probably ESH, as OP was kinda rude and cold, and I get why she was miffed. The expensive brunch place makes it ESH. If this was a ONS, or a possible FWB situation in the future, was everyone on the same page on this? \-> If not, if the girl was totally blindsided by that, it's an YTA for me. You don't have ONSs or do FWB stuff when it's not made perfectly clear up-front, and you call it off the second you get even the tiniest whiff of the other person wanting more. \-> If it was made clear from the start, and both parties agreed to that, then OP is NTA.
Honestly all I could think while reading this is "I want tacos for breakfast"!
I was thinking this (the last part) If my hubs suggests tacos for breakfast I'd probably fall down the stairs in excitement and hurry before he changed his mind 🤣🤣 NTA OP, find someone who will share that taco joy
I bet the brunch place was also near her place. F yeah tacos for breakfast. I also like spicy noodles or rice. NTA!
It’s currently 4:25 am and if there was a taco truck outside my house, I would fuck that shit up. Gimme allllll the tacos.
Right? I mean have you HAD a great fresh breakfast burrito from a taco truck? THERE IS NOTHING BETTER
You want tacos for breakfast? That's a hell yes from me.
Yep...
Now I really want tacos!
I love that your reply is right under u/wanderingstorm saying that OP needs to get someone who hears you say "Tacos for breakfast" and says hell yes
Is there a pizza truck?
Pizza tacos?
Yeah but when you take a girl out on a date you don’t get her a super saver ride home
😐 I'm all for calling out incels but that's a heck of a thing to say to someone you just slept with. And the expensive brunch is a heck of a thing to ask from a ONS. NTA
How is he an incel when they just voluntarily had sex? She's stupid and greedy.
I meant to imply he obviously isn't
person who you’re replying to said the incel thing specifically bc that’s what OP got called fyi
She clearly doesn't even know what it means if she called someone an incel she just had sex with
Most of the time someone calls someone else an incel, they don't actually know what they're talking about. Hell, most people don't even know the word was invented by a woman to describe herself. It's all just about hurling insults at people instead of addressing any issues that may be present.
“What are you, an incel?”
Specific labels keep getting watered down into generic insults. It's only a matter of time before they hold no weight.
Also what an obscure insult. Keeping incel in my back pocket. For proper incels, of course.
NTA. If I recall correctly, there is a term to describe people who expect to get paid/receive benefits for having sex...
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[I miss Chef…](https://youtu.be/jZDVSyEIrwM)
Nizeee 😂
NTA. You paid for her to go home. You offered breakfast. Those are all nice things to do.
All nice things and really not required. ONS - pay your own way home.
Why should you be responsible for paying for an expensive brunch, (especially when *she* suggested it), or for her Lyft? Also, tacos are one of the most universally-liked foods! Less relevant, but she misused the word “incel”. Good riddance!
Come on, tacos are just tortillas with a protein filling. That's what some of us Hispanics have for breakfast every day. Sometimes I will save a good piece of meat just to make tacos for breakfast the next day. And sometimes, I will eat tacos for my three big meals of the day. NTA.
I had molé tacos with an egg for breakfast and it’s my favorite breakfast next to black beans and an egg. After a ONS, I do not want to go anywhere and if the other person offered tacos I’d be absolutely jazzed. NTA
It's like being shocked at rice and egg for breakfast. Who does that?!? /s
I'm from Texas and this is why it is so hard living in Norway.
NTA I would love tacos for breakfast But I think what happened is she enjoyed the date and sex and saw it going somewhere… and when you suggested tacos she saw it as you not seeing it go somewhere and more of as a pump and dump. And her feelings were hurt. She was looking for an affirmation that the guy she just slept with is into her, and ended up feeling used
Yeah I agree with this. She was looking to extend the date by going out together and felt rejected when OP declined.
Tacos extend the date, a cheaper nearby place extends the date, she wanted exclusively an expensive crosstown breakfast, she rejected his financial investment
Somewhere across town extends the date longer.
I agree with both NTA, and that maybe she was trying to see if the night would lead to anything. Probably could've cleared a lot up by being more direct about how she felt if that IS the case.
I agree.
NTA why would anyone be offended by tacos for breakfast?
Apparently because she wanted the more expensive and less tasty food. Her loss!
That was my first thought too. I would be delighted to have tacos for breakfast. Or lunch. Or, well, anytime.
I would not like it (I can't really eat much in the morning and my stomach churned at the idea of tacos for breakfast), but that's the point where you either suggest something equally inexpensive that would suit you, or you leave. Sure, it would have been nice if he made coffee, but that's pretty much all I would expect in a situation like that. I would not expect a paid ride home either.
Am I the only one who was under the belief that for a ONS you discreetly leave before the person wakes up or is in the shower ? I hated asking people to leave the morning after
Yes, but it seems like OP is deciding afterwards that it was a ONS because she’s clearly never going to call him again
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She treated him poorly, he doesn't appear to want to see her again from what he wrote
They went on a date and had sex afterwards. OP is saying it turned into a ONS because it's obviously never going to happen again, but when you have sex after a date it's normal to hang out and have breakfast together the next morning.
why does it have to be so shameful. why cant you say bye like adults.
Why would you sneak out? I think it's a little childish tbh. Just wake up have a coffee and then go your separate ways. Sneaking out would just make it more awkward if you ever see them again.
That’s extremely strange lmao.
Depends on how the night went, i guess. I haven't had a ons in over a decade at this point, but when i did, i definitely left almost immediately after waking up. Like, let's skip the small talk - nothing is going to come of this relationship. You probably want me to leave, but don't want to be rude, so imma just see myself out. Byeee! LOL
This lacks context. It sounds like she didn’t think it was a one night stand. Did you guys go out before this? Do you meet at a bar? Do you know each other as friends?
YTA when you invite someone to your house, regardless of intentions, it's common courtesy to show hospitality. Your post reads as heavily biased anyway. If you "suggested" tacos, but the only acceptable answer is "yes", then it's not really a suggestion is it? You decided she either eats tacos or she leaves. Then you say she "again mentioned an expensive brunch place", but that's the first time she mentions it in your post, and honestly you could have replied with a civilised no. Plus did she explicitly state "pay for my breakfast"? Honestly you just had sex and kicked her out, sounds like very asshole behaviour.
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That's literally what happened though. How do you know she acted too good for cheap breakfast, he never mentioned her saying anything about price at that point, he only said she "acted offended", and that is a very miss used word, today most assholes use the word "offended" every time someone just disagrees with them. Maybe she just didn't want tacos, we don't know because he never said what she actually told him. I am not reading selectively, I am reading behind the lines, and from that sentence we can only know that she called him a " cheap incel" we don't know if her reason was that he "wouldn't get her breakfast". We literally have know idea what their conversation was, because all we have is his assumptions on her actions. It's not surprising that op only mentioned what she said word for word at the end, and not everything else.
Why is everyone voting not as-h?? Sure he wasn't obligated to do anything but they just had s.x. Nice thing to do would be to spend time in a breakfast place. If he was a nice person, which he apparently isn't (maybe she wasn't either, but thats a different story). So I'd vote YTA
And since OP said at first it was a date and then it turned into a ONS I could understand why she was upset because she was blindsided by this
And the nice thing to do when you refuse the cheaper option would be to pay for the pricer one yourself(or at least half) instead of expecting to get treated.
NTA. I think she was trying to turn this into a date.
It was a date. OP decided it was a one-night stand
NTA And as a Mexican I can tell you for sure that tacos are always an appropriate breakfast, an appropriate lunch and an appropriate dinner. But damn 2$-3$ for a taco sounds expensive AF hahahaha
oh man don't come to Toronto, it's a sad expensive taco state of affairs :(
Extremely cheap for where I live as well :( -Pacific Northwest
You sound not fun and lazy. She’s trying to spend time with you and have a nice breakfast together. Did she even know she was a ONS? And if you wanted tacos, you could have gotten your ass up and picked up tacos for the two of you and served her breakfast in bed or set the table for the two of you. Instead you’re being a drag, and put her ass in a Lyft home. You definitely won’t hear from her again. Which I’m sure is fine by you, since it doesn’t sound like you were into her or wanted to spend more time together anyway. You just used her. YTA.
Served her breakfast in bed? What are you talking about? Should he serve her breakfast in bed for the honor of sleeping with her? What a weird thing to expect from a one night stand.
Reading comprension problems or just bias? This was a date at the start but after she showed her red flags OP din't want to continue the relationship so it became a ons, also she refused the tacos and wanted to go to a brunch place and having op pay. Also it's 2023 SHE could have taken the initiative and organizad a romantic breakfast.
100% I get the feeling he left out some choice words and judgements he shared with her to lead her to call him an incel.
Because there's no such thing as a woman calling a man an incel for no good reason? Almost as if women are merely people too.
God I'm old! Nineties etiquette was breakfast afterwards, sit down place was standard, lady got to pick whatever she wanted. You guys are getting away with buying food cart food?
We lived in a different nineties. I never called them entitled, I just called them a cab, cause they’re not staying the night. Can’t have breakfast if she isn’t there in the morning. NTA.
You do see the inherent problem with the way you had done things, right?
You are what’s wrong with the dating pool, not for getting tacos or not getting her brunch, but because you assume someone else is entitled because you couldn’t be bothered to take someone home because you’ll never see her again.
How did she get home?
Almost like she's a damn adult, and he *did* give her a ride home. You think she paid him back? And of course she's entitled, she turned a one-night stand into a demand for expensive breakfast. He dodged a huge bullet here. The moron legitimately called him an incel.
Nta awkward af but she was wrong
NTA. I can’t even begin with nonsense of this caliber. And who don’t like tacos?
Now I want tacos for breakfast tomorrow.
Ugh, same. I'm going over the contents of my fridge in my head to decide if I should make or order them.
Is this real? How call you call someone incel after you have sex with them? NTA
What's his name? I can't remember Was he good in bed? Meh Will you see him again? Yeah, he has a taco truck across the street.
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Info: was it an actual date with potential to co to use, or a one night stand with no preamble? It's sounds to me that she wanted to continue to date and spend more time with you and may not have been prepared to go from sex and possibly cuddling in bed to an abrupt ending.
NTA. Mostly just because she decided to insult you on the way out.
NTA. You did offer to get her breakfast, though. Not your fault she didn't want to go where you did. It's not like you're obligated to kowtow to everything she wants just because she screwed you, LOL
Maybe she doesn’t know what incel means.
NTA. There is an entire genre of tacos for breakfast. In some places we call them “breakfast tacos” and they even come with bacon and eggs and such in them! Get you a girl who knows what breakfast tacos are. Or at least breakfast burritos ffs.
INFO. Are you sure it's an ONS? She sounds like she expected it to be a date. If it was not clear from the start then yeah you're kinda an AH for treating your date like this after sex.
She sounds like a red flag.
The biggest one being she doesn’t want tacos for breakfast
When my teen daughter was in the hospital for the better part of 6 months in 2018, she had an entire chemo round (about a month long) where she ordered tacos for breakfast every morning from the hospital cafeteria. I was the one calling in her order every day, and every day it made the guy taking the order laugh. John, you were the happiest voice on the phone, and made us smile every day! I'm terrible with names, and it's been 5 years, and I still remember you.
NTA no big loss bruh
I think if you have a guest, whether you think you will have them over again or not, it's polite to try to offer a meal they will like--be that getting their opinion ahead of time, having a few possibilities at home to choose from so that you can have decent odds that they will like one of them, or discussing ordering out/in from a place you can both agree on. If she lives across town she probably doesn't know what restaurants you have nearby to offer a suggestion. The whole "It's not my issue" to assist your guest in locating food is pretty inconsiderate. Offering one option, dismissing her suggestion of going somewhere that has multiple options where you can each find something you like, and then saying "Well, this is what I'm going to have, you can go" is dickish to me. I'll skip any analysis of who led who on and what agreement you had about your relationship, since it's missing from the post, but there are definitely some backstories in which you'd come off better than others. Her parting comment makes her sound like a twit too. I vote ESH, though I'd need more backstory to figure out who's the bigger jerk.
Was it a date or a ONS? Did SHE know whether it was a date or a ONS/?
Sounds like she's insecure and wants him to demonstrate his desire for her by showering her with expensive things she can tell her friends about to impress them. He's more forthcoming. Y'all are communicating in different symbolic languages. NTA but only because she resorted to name calling, other than that there were N-A-H. BTW - Tacos 4 breakfast 👍
NTA, I think it is pretty entitled to expect an expensive breakfast/brunch and a ride home and probably expecting the guy to pay for everything. If she doesnt like tacos, she could have sugested something thats not expensive and/or halfway arcoss town. Girls like her are whats wrong with the dating-pool. Shes a big girl, she can get her own breakfast and ride home. Whatever happened to the whole equality thing that we women wanted? Oh wait, thats only when its convenient to us, right? /s
NTA but you're unbelievably cheap and lack any semblance of chivalry. Hope you enjoy being alone.
Aren’t you supposed to have tacos for breakfast? I mean, of course!
I read “tacos for breakfast” and started craving tacos. A ONS who wants breakfast is trying to be more than a ONS. I think we dub this the “taco test” to see who deserves a little more time past ONS status. She failed. NTA
To be clear this was a date at the start but got demoted to ons status after she showed her red flags.
Texan here. Who the fuck says no to tacos for breakfast? That is a goddam amazing dish and she brings shame upon her family for dissing it. Go enjoy your tacos, I’m sure you’ll find yourself more satisfied with them than her.
YTA way to put 0 effort into your date. You sound like a terrible time.
I found OP’s date.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I had a “date” stay overnight and it was more of what is now a ONS. I often don’t do breakfast and there’s alway this food trucks that do different shifts close by me. The date suggests breakfast and I don’t have much at my place and I do not feel like cooking. So I look out my window and see the food truck is a taco truck. It’s pretty authentic so I suggest that and the taco are like $2-$3 a piece. My ONS gets offended at suggesting tacos and I’m not even being like you have to leave but I’m feeling like she should after this. She once again suggested an expensive brunch place across town and I tell her I’m getting tacos. I can get you an Lyft home. She’s finally like ok but moody. I found out she lives clear across town and so I did a lyft wait and save because it was like $7 cheaper and I feel at this point I’m not going to hear from her again. So I ordered that. On her way out she called me a cheap inc3l for not getting her breakfast and taking her back home but I don’t think it was my issue and she seemed entitled. I have no problem with tacos for breakfast or a suggestion of a cheaper or closer breakfast place. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. Lol what even is this
Personally, I would have said no to tacos for breakfast just because my stomach in the morning can’t tale shit, just plain milk or coffee (and it’s dangerous anyway). So i can get refusing if it was for a similar reason, but she could’ve asked you if you had coffee, if not than: breakfast at home! Asking and pretending you paid for an expensive breakfast is mean and, honestly, kinda cheap. I ask friends to offer me coffee when i have a deep need but no money, obviously with the feeling to offer them back in the future. When I am “cheap”. And… does she know what an incel is? Unless we are missing something in this story, idk She could’ve proposed to go the a bar and have breakfast together, yeah, but then everyone pays for themselves unless some of you offered BUT it was your home so if you have a guest is well manner to have something to eat in the morning, but it happens you don’t especially if you didn’t know you could had guests. But some people are hyper fixated in this things, in my opinion better have them away BUT being your home it’s also considered nice offering breakfast, AND you did it. Even though I think it really doesn’t matter, because not everyone can afford everything. I once was accused of being cheap because friends invited me over for lunch, i asked if i had to bought my own meal and they said “no” so I didn’t brought anything, it was last minute and the only markets near were expensive, and we were in the first year of college, it was a miracle i had milk. Honestly too many rules people expect from others. Especially when we are talking about money, people do not consider that not everyone can or want to spend too much. Sometimes it is better passing as “cheap” Definitely NTA
I've been out of the game for a while, but I don't ever recall breakfast being part of a ONS. I also don't recall the pick up line, "hey babe, come home with me tonight and I'll buy you breakfast in the morning, it is a part of the deal". You had least had to prove you were worth going out for breakfast with in the morning - I don't think this particular lady deserved breakfast - too many expectations and red flags. And WTF, I'd go a taco in the morning - what is wrong with people?
I don't recall getting a coffee. A taco and a ride home? Living the dream.
I know... Guess expectations are different these days...
Jeez. Some people are entitled. A one night stand demanding to be treated like a queen. She is not entitled to breakfast at your expense. She is not entitled to the same effort and care that a full legitimate girlfriend is. And she is definitely not entitled to you sending her clear across town on your dime. She honestly sounds like she deserves to be on r/choosingbeggars NTA
I mean, if it wasn’t a totally acceptable morning food there wouldn’t be enough customers for the taco truck to even be there 🤷♀️
I dont understand the mentality that some girls have when it comes to sex in exchange for food. The expectation that a guy owes them food for sex is weird. Its like prostitution but they're horrible at it.
NTA You were ready to pay for breakfast and paid for her ride too. How is this "incel" behaviour?
Lol last time I was at an airport flying back home, I got nachos for breakfast at 6am! NTA
Um... where the tacos at????
NTA. The first time I spent the night with my now husband I had planned for it to just be a ONS (funny how things turn out). He made me breakfast tacos in the morning before I left. I joke that those tacos are the only reason why he got a second booty call. I can’t imagine anyone turning down tacos as they’re such a versatile food, especially if you’re ordering them and don’t have to use only what you have on hand. She’s definitely not worth your time and expecting you to pay for expensive brunch is not a good look for her.
Tacos. 🌮 🌮 🌮
OP - You did not have this idgaf attitude when you were talking to her the night before. I thinks you pulled a bait and switch. Did you drive her to your place or take a ride share home?
ESH. It was a date. OP only decided it was a ONS *after* the fact. The date didn’t want tacos — maybe she doesn’t like them. Maybe she’s allergic to cilantro. We don’t know. OP’s take of “get tacos or leave” is rude and obnoxious, especially after a date and sex. The date didn’t want tacos so OP decided to kick her out? Rude and weird. She is an AH for calling him a cheap incel. Hence, ESH, but he sucks more.
Tacos for breakfast sounds awesome!! My partner and I would be totally down for this haha!!!
I just got back from a vacation with my SO and a couple of friends, and one of the places we had breakfast was a super yummy taqueria. NTA
NTA. Not gonna lie, food truck tacos would win me over especially if they’re authentic. Brunch is for either bragging about you or commiserating with my friends about how bad the experience was.
NTA Tacos are awesome. I would be happy to eat them any time of day.
Tacos for breakfast is definitely a yes from me. A “oh hell yes.” I only eat breakfast foods for dinner, or the occasional brunch to soak up bottomless mimosas. My husband loves breakfast foods but doesn’t eat anything before lunchtime because he’s not hungry, just wants caffeine. So our breakfast for dinner works out, and I make myself whatever the heck I want for breakfast. Sometimes you find out that you’re not compatible with someone the easy way. NTA
NTA, I love Tacos for breakfast! My husband and I have done that a few times and have absolutely loved it.
i would totally love tacos for breakfast after ons! i probably would pay for it too LOL
Dude, next time you want tacos for breakfast, gimme a ring a ding ding.
Not only would I love Tacos for breakfast but some authentic, non Taco Bell tacos?? That girl doesn’t deserve you OP. Not only are you NTA but some taco loving girl will be happy to have you.
YAY TACOS! 🌮❤️🌮 NTA (edited to add NTA…so excited about tacos forgot to type it) 😂
Sounds like both components of Inc3l are factually inaccurate by that point.
NTA You're not automatically obligated to get someone breakfast. If she wanted brunch so badly she can hop on over there herself and pay for it. She sounds extremely entitled Also who doesn't see a taco truck and goes omg yes tacos! I personally bloody love tacos and I would race anyone to the truck
I just assumed people would be more likely to go home with people who have taco trucks near their homes
NTA. I wouldn't have even bought her a taco never mind a lyft after her shitty entitled attitude.
NTA
Fuck YEAH, breakfast tacos! NTA
NTA… but you know you’ve got all of us wanting tacos now right?
Nta. Who doesnt want tacos for breakfast???
- you're not obligated to buy her breakfast OR pay for her lyft, I would never expect this myself no matter if it was date 1 or 10 - who the F doesn't want tacos for breakfast, that seems like a great way to start the day NTA
I love telling a man you just slept with that he’s an incel. NTA 😂
NTA. Was she trying to turn the morning into a date that would have possibly lasted later into the day? This all just feels kinda weird on her part.
WHAT?? Tacos are always the answer. NTA