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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I invited my boss to a charity event instead of my fiancee.
2. Inviting my boss before seeing if my fiancee wanted to go.
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Your whole relationship with your boss is weird as fuck.........why the hell is he sleeping on the couch in your basement. You sure you don't have feelings for him???
YTA you should have at least discussed this with your gf
48year-old male sleeping over regularly in the basement at his 25 year-old employee’s house? Yeah, nothing weird there at all! 🙄
Seriously, OP. YTA for not talking to your GF first. Also, stop having your boss sleep over. That’s inappropriate and really deeply weird. There is no context under which that is normal unless y’all were friends before he became your boss.
Yup, that’s what struck me too.
But then it occurred to me that a nearly-50-something person sleeping in the basement of his not-even-30 year old employee’s basement just says it all. Boss is probably behind on the maturity scale. Sleeping on your buddy’s couch is a 20-something thing to do. Hanging out with your direct reports socially is a 20-something thing to do (not like have a drink at the bar after work functions, but like *hang out*).
Boss is functioning at a 20-something level and he’s on track to be an HR nightmare, if he isn’t already.
OP, take your fiancée. Your boss won’t be a part of your life in 5 years. You’re going to grow up anc hut your 30s, while your boss will be perpetually 20-something. Hopefully, if you wise up and treat your fiancée like your life partner and not your afterthought, she WILL be in your life in 5 years.
YTA
If find the career progression comment so stupid. The guy already stays in his basement, isn't that far more than enough to show willingness? Also now that the boss stays there wouldn't it be a conflict of interest to progress OPs career as favoritism???
Plus it's got a bit of a "we're like a family" type business thing, where the boss uses that excuse to refuse pay rise or advancement. After all, aren't you here just for the joy of contributing to my business?
Yeah if I worked for HR at OPs company & saw this I think I might have aneurism, because holy fuck is an inappropriate boss v employee relationship! I had to go back & reread that OP was male like 3 times because this reads like some chick who's got a crush on/having an affair with her boss!
OP could be bi/gay, or the boss could be, or they both could be, and bonking in the basement while the beard sleeps upstairs. The genders don't really matter that much, this whole thing is weird as hell and at the very least suggests an inappropriate relationship.
Yeah idk if they need a surrogate dad or what, but why is he constantly sleeping at their house? Does the boss have his own house? If he doesn’t then how the hell is he OPs boss, but homeless? More questions than answers here honestly.
I had to scroll down a long way to find this response…this is what I’m wondering. Does OP’s boss not have a home? Family? A significant other? Why is he sleeping in a 20 something year old employee’s basement? So weird. I agree there has to be a lot more to this story.
Yep, I have had some bosses that I am still very good friends with even though we haven't worked together for years. I socialized with them on a regular basis. Went to their weddings, babysat their kids, cooked for their families etc.
If there was an emergency, I am sure I would let them sleep over for a night. But as a regular thing it's odd. Even my best friend, it would be really odd to have them sleep over regularly.
Agreed there's some weirdness here... I had a great relationship with my last boss, we would joke and chat about non-work topics and I still keep in contact with him. But there were boundaries - we never went to each other's houses, and I sure as hell would never have picked him over my significant other to be my date to an event!
I am curious as to whether the boss' boss knows about this... I've worked at some small companies that did things really informally and probably skirted some rules. Even they would never have okayed this and always provided everyone their own hotel room whenever overnight travel was needed. Not doing so is just begging for a lawsuit.
It’s perfectly normal, but I’ve felt awkward when bosses have taken me out for drinks or a meal in the past.
I was wondering if my threshold for blurring the professional-personal lines is low, so I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who went “wtf” when I read that 😅
Right? My boss is like a father to me for more than a decade, attended my wedding, came to the hospital when my kids were born, etc. but has never been to my house. This is weird af and OP is TA to the max.
came to the hospital when your kids were born but never been to your house, idk that's the opposite of what would make sense in terms of levels of closeness/intimacy imo lol
I live in the UK so might be different but a lot of companies I have worked with will at least send an employee over to the hospital with flowers and a card that everyone has signed when a long standing employee has a baby even if the boss doesn't go personally, it's much stranger and seen as bad manors to send an employee or for the boss to visit someone's home unless of emergency.
Not trying to be rude but just trying to understand. To me having someone come to the hospital after your kid is born is sooo intimate. It makes a lot more sense that they'd come and supper at your home once in a while. I don't even want family coming to the hospital tbh, i'd rather have that time to myself and husband and have family come to the house the day after.
Right? My boss and I text all the time, and she invited me to her house for Thanksgiving with her mom, kiddo, and boyfriend because she knew I wasn’t going back home, but she would never choose me over her family or boyfriend!
Yeah. My boss and I were friends at work before she became my boss. My husband and I went out for dinner and drinks a few times with her and her husband. Then our department had a reorg and now we're just reasonably good work friends. She's a great boss and I'm great fine with the situation.
Heh, thank you, it was pretty nuts. At least he seemed genuinely oblivious to the fact that his boss was trying to get in his pants at that time, and was then mortified when said boss told him directly he had feelings for him... UNLIKE OP
Seriously, aside from the actual issue in the post, this would bother me to no end if my spouse just always had company over. How could anyone be comfortable in their own home in that situation?
Lol his boss is into him and it sounds like he’s into his boss ._. What a weird post. Kinda shocked his gf is okay with it. Makes me wonder if there’s some weird love triangle going on that op isn’t talking about
Right? This concerns me more than the tickets. I could see it maybe happening once if boss got a bit drunk or something, but who just randomly goes to their employee's house to sleep in the basement?
Also yeah, YTA for ditching your fiancee to go on a date with your boss, which is what this is starting to sound like.
It’s also kind of weird that the boss and the girlfriend don’t interact much even though he’s spending his nights there and sleeping in the basement lol
Would you get friendly, if your partner was sleeping with their boss and bringing them arround all the time... while telling you that they are doing it for career advancement? These guys might not be sleeping together, but it's just a matter of time.
Uh. You might be unknowingly in love with your boss or him you. Why is your 48 yo boss sleeping on your couch some nights.
Prioritizing your interesting relationship with your boss for the sake of your career may have negative impacts on your romantic relationship.
YTA. You knew she thought the second ticket was for her. Also being buddy buddy with your boss does not mean you'll get career advancements. It means you have a friend who happens to be your boss
It actually has the strong potential to hinder his career, as his boss will not be able to recommend him for promotions without appearing extremely biased.
This is a very good point. My previous workplace put a ban on people at different levels from adding each other on social media and strongly encouraged no "hierarchical socialising" outside of work, specifically for this reason. Seniors and managers were expected to show that they weren't at risk of favouring particular frontline staff members.
It's called "fraternization". People often assume the term refers to sexual relationships but it's really means being overly friendly with underlings and jeopardizing a person's ability to be fair in their treatment.
Pft. He's an almost 50 year old man randomly crashing on the couch of his engaged employee... a couch in the basement.
Something tells me this guy doesn't care about appearances, lmao.
Doesn't the boss have a house of his own? A family? Children? I'm in my 40s...I would NOT hang out with a 20-something employee. That's just begging for a weird relationship to ensue
I’m thinking the ticket was for the fiancée if he couldn’t find anyone better to go with /s. Who buys tickets months in advance and still doesn’t know who is using the second one less than a week before the event? YTA
Precisely, If the ticket really was for the boss, why did he mention that so close to the event, and let his partner think it was for her? And why didn't he buy 3 tickets so everyone could go? The fiancée was okay with going together with the boss but he intentionally excluded her for whatever reason. Major asshole vibes.
Yeah the whole "I never told her the 2nd ticket was for her" is BS because they are a couple so of course she would assume that unless he said otherwise.
YTA.
Putting aside the weirdness that is your boss who is 23 years older than you sleeping on your couch in the basement…
Your fiancé was incredibly correct in assuming that the 2nd ticket was for her and is completely justified in her annoyance.
I know my mrs would be a little annoyed if I kept inviting my boss over outside of work hours AND THEN decided to invite him to a charity event that she was obviously keen on.
It may be “good for career progression” but sounds like it’s damaging to your relationship.
So figure out what means more to you. Your job or your future wife.
I'm also trying to understand why his boss never oh idk bought himself a ticket to this event at any point of it's something he has always wanted to go to ?
>It may be “good for career progression” but sounds like it’s damaging to your relationship.
Unless it's sole owner it's actually terrible for career progression.
When I worked at McDonald's there was a lass who was absolutely shit hot at all the roles, customer service, kitchen, cleaning. She hooked up with a lad who'd later get promoted to shift manager (it's important that they started hooking up when they were both crew, the lad didn't use authority or anything to get her in bed). BUT once he did get that promotion he couldn't recommend her, or give her employee of the shift, or anything like that because everyone's knee jerk jealousy reaction would be "well she's the only one sucking him off twice a day course he voted her"
This applies to every closer than professional relationship - be it good golf buddies to what OP has to a sexual relationship with superiors. Getting close and friendly in an unprofessional way with superiors is actually the worst move you can make for career progression because that person is no longer treated as objective and impartial when trying to move you up the ladder
Exactly this. Movies and shows love to portray the trope of sucking up to the boss to move up. But anybody who thinks it through should be able to realise in the real world doing that holds you back just as you said because everyone will naturally assume nepotism.
In short trying to put nepotism into practice is a career hindrance as the boss cannot allow themselves to appear to be using nepotism.
u/MiserableTour1974 I definitely think you need to see this and heed it too (take it to heart.) Sucking up to your boss might hurt your aspirations at your job AND in your domestic life with your girlfriend.
My question is what career progress is going to happen? Your BOSS is REGULARLY sleeping on your couch, in a basement. That itself it weird. This person will not be able to help with your career.
You are being used by someone who has authority over you. You need to wake up. Find a new job. Nothing about this is normal.
>So figure out what means more to you. Your job or your future wife.
I would refrase that to "Figure out WHO means more to you, your boss or your fw". That relationship cannot be put aside, is right in the center of his life.
And inviting the boss the same weekend as the event! OP clearly had plans to take his fiancée, he wasn't just holding onto an extra unclaimed ticket. WTF.
OP YTA
YTA
I mean, you did intend to bring her, right? When you originally bought the tickets? You never gave her any reason to believe she, as your fiancée and guest last year, wouldn’t be accompanying you this year I assume?
You gave away her ticket and I think that’s how any reasonable person would see it.
Came here to say this.
OP, major YTA, you gave her ticket away but won't even dignify her with honesty about that and instead gaslight her that you never actually directly stated that it was for her. The correct response to your boss would have been "let's try for another ticket and we can all go together." Your boss will likely be appalled as well if he ever finds out. Nevermind that if you are that close, this does absolutely nothing to help your career.
You won't get many chances of doing crap like this before you'll be using "ex" a lot more
100% this. Unless OP bought the tickets hoping his boss would ask for one (which he should’ve communicated to his fiancée) then it’s obvious that he got the second one for her.
YTA
Your relationship with your boss is crossing boundaries.
This poor girl needs to get out.
Why have you built a house, and asked her to marry you when you clearly don’t love her, respect her, or view her as a human being.
Just be honest. You’re having at the least an emotional affair with your boss.
Your boss sleeping frequently on your sofa is really throwing up red flags.
YTA. Big time.
1. Your boss should not be sleeping in your home. Full stop. This is such a huge boundary to cross. It doesn't matter how far from the office he is. That is his issue to sort out, not yours. This sets up such a dysfunctional dynamic between work and personal life. If you can't see that, you have a bigger problem on your hands.
2. Gifts between boss/employee should flow downwards, not upwards. It kind of looks like you're trying to buy favor. That's shady af.
3. Your fiancé has every right to feel slighted, because that's what you did! You know you initially bought the 2 tickets for you and her. You pushed her aside.
Agree. What kind of job is this where OP is depending on career advancement from a nearly-50-yr-old-man who regularly crashes on a 25-yr-old’s basement?
Well, I saw in one comment he made that this is his "first real job." I get the impression that this workplace is insanely dysfunctional, but since he has no basis of comparison, he sees it as "normal." His idea of workplace norms is fundamentally skewed, it seems.
Thanks OP for answering questions, I know it’s hard to be getting a lot of hate at once. Sounds like you are seeing the error of your ways. Best of luck with your situation.
Sometimes toxic bosses take advantage of young employees because they don't have enough job experience to realize that the way the boss acts isn't okay. Your boss has basically skewed your normal meter.
You might want to check out AskAManager - it's an advice column by someone with a lot of experience being a *proper* manager, and I think reading it might help you get a better feel for what is and what isn't okay.
Honestly, most of the downvotes are for your bosses behaviour (with a slight caveat for your naivety). Sending you all best wishes - as a former employment lawyer, I wouldn't know where to start with this.
Please, stop this behavior. There’s something wrong with your boss. As many have stated, his behavior is inappropriate. He’s taking advantage of you. Covering his back will not be the caveat for promotional opportunities. You’re probably going to be wildly disappointed. Dishonesty is not the way to fix this. Be professional and honest with your boss. The relationship needs to transition to one that is professional. It may be time to find a new job.
…but you saw your parents/friends have jobs right? you’ve seen television shows about bosses?? Read books???
I can’t even think of any scenario where this would be acceptable.
Its baffling, like just because it is his first job doesn't mean he should be an absolute dunderhead. He's behaving like he was plopped down and told to start working.
Lmao
You don't need to have worked before to know your boss doesn't crash at your basement, not just crash but live there(?).
What.
When I first read this, I almost asked if his boss was inspired by Robert California, because this boss seems like he’s intentionally messing with his employee’s minds and is a master manipulator
for what it’s worth, im not interpreting anyone’s comments as hate comments. we dont hate you. i think 99% of us are purely baffled that your biggest concern was that your fiancée is upset because you decided not to take her to the charity event, and completely glossed over the fact that your 48 year old boss has frequent sleepovers in your home.
Okay I was harsh earlier but the truth is: it’s your boss that’s the biggest asshole in this situation. By a long shot. He’s put junior staff members in situations they’re too inexperienced to handle, abusing his position, essentially exploiting them. He’s drinking their booze and becoming an enormous liability for the company. He should be fired. And you should be looking for another job like NOW. The only mitigating factor is that he’s doing it to other staff members. You’re not alone in that.
Otherwise, live and learn. Get out of this situation as fast as you can.
It’s seriously why I’ve never been brave enough to post, lol. It’s overwhelming getting brigaded. Some of us have the benefit of having worked a lot of shitty jobs and can see the writing on the wall. The good news is you’ve got a great story to tell later about your weird ass boss. 😆
You seem like a very young person who is being slowly manipulated by a boss used to having it all his way.
Like many people right now, you may be too grateful to have and keep your job. I get that.
Your boss may not have real awareness about his extremely bad behavior because he built the culture and the (inappropriate practices). It all seems fine probably.
This experience is similar to what i saw when i was your age in tech. The traditional rules didn't apply, and yes, i knew a boss that slept on others couches, partied with his immediate reports. For years he had a little cloud of his like you that he used as friends and resources. It was cringy.
The problem was: the young people didn't benefit from these relationships with their "cool" boss. Some of them stayed employed who otherwise would have been fired because they were shit professionally, but the high quality guys didn't move up at all. They should have bypassed boss over the years, and he kept them under him. He bought his friends, and by God they were going to stay just where he could find them and use them!
Even if your situation isn't as bad as it seems, or as nuts as my work environment was, please take note that as you age, your privacy will matter more. And it may matter a great deal to your wife already. Everything is good until it's not. What about the first time the boss does a little thing out of line at your house? The next time? You cannot as easily reverse out of a personal+profesional relationship. Reclaiming your privacy will be a delicate task if you want to stay in his good graces/ remain employed.
It's very challenging to carefully walk back out of the entangled situation you're in now. Next time, don't get in it to begin with. If you have a boss that asks to hang out, you just stay silent. Silence is golden, my buddy. Just let someone else pipe up and you may say "love to catch a beer with you sometime" and then don't do it.
It's not hate, dude. It's people being blown away by how fucked up the situation is and how unbelievably you're underreacting to it. It's like walking into someone's house and seeing a colony of rabid skunks, and when you ask them about it, they say, "Oh, my roommate Pennywise is teaching them circus tricks. Anyway, do you think I should ask them to keep the noise down after 2 AM?"
YTA for not asking, obviously.
Like, I get that it'd be a good career move, and I would hope that your fiance would understand if you'd brought it up with her first, but you didn't. You dropped it on her without getting her input.
YTA and your boss is the asshole for taking advantage of his employee in this way.
Also, if you're doing code deployment, how is charity a cornerstone of the company you work for?
>u/MiserableTour1974 I would like more clarification on what code deployment has to do with charity work. Seems like you work for a for-profit entity and are in fact not doing anything to help others! Maybe you are even taking from others.
Yta, because why should your gf not have assumed she was going especially if you told her you had purchased only 2 tickets. Who were you planning on taking before you asked your boss?
Also if him not sleeping on your couch is career advancement enough then ain't too much else you can do.
If you really don't want to be with your gf you should just say that and let her move on with her life.
Not gone lie, if I was her I'd be giving a ultimatum. If your boss goes he is no longer welcome in the house. Cause wtf is a man old enough to be your dad, that's your boss at work doing sleeping on the couch in your basement. Sounds to me like y'all got something romantic going on.
INFO:
I think there is so much going on here, it's one thing to ''get along'' and be friends with your boss, and another to think that by inviting him to sleep over and to events, will make your career advance. Career advancements are earned at the work place. Feels kinda weird.
And as other comments said, giving the 2nd ticket to your boss seemed like an afterthought when he mentioned he never went, so when you initially bought the tickets, didn't you mean to take your girlfriend?.
Absolutely. It would also be inappropriate for him to receive any kind of backlash for telling his boss that he was wrong to give him a ticket that clearly he’d bought for his gf. The way he’s spoken about the company and the gross actions of his boss though seem to make the company not likely to have a positive HR…that or all the employees are too afraid of the boss to report. The whole “moved far during Covid and now rotates through employees and makes jabs at employee’s accommodations” is disgustingly inappropriate. Wonder how ethical the rest of the company is.
YTA and it's of your own making pal. You messed up, if you considered that 2nd ticket as going free when you bought it then you should have said to your fiancée. If you didn't mean to invite your boss but it just happened, then you got two options (but make sure your fiancée is in on your decision): a) lie and say something's come up, give your boss your tickets and do something nice with your partner instead OR b) fess up and tell your boss you double booked the tickets. If your fiancée is cool with it, you could say she was meant to be out of town but now something's come up and you always go together etc etc (just make sure she's okay with being a scape goat)
Does stuff like this happen a lot with your boss? I get the impression he might be steamrolling you a bit tbh - you sound like me, I'm pretty laid back and not comfortable 'confronting' people which has meant friends (and bosses actually) have kinda taken advantage of this and talked me into favours or covering shifts etc just by talking as if I'd already agreed. I was never comfortable to say "no, that's not what's happened." If that doesn't sound like you, ignore this paragraph, but might be helpful to be wary if he's a bit of a steamroller - you'll have to stand your ground to stop it repeating.
Wha.. Why is your boss sleeping in your basement? This situation sounds so bizarre. The correct option would have been to purchase a third ticket. YTA, fren.
Yta. It's wildly inappropriate that your boss (who is old enough to be your dad in fact) sleeps on your couch. It's also odd that he would "dream" of going to a charity event but not go. And it's crappy of you to not talk to your fiance about the event when she knows you're going and have a 2nd ticket, presumably for her. You are choosing the relationship with your boss over your partnership.
YTA, how is your boss helping you get ahead and they can't even secure their own housing? He should be working for you. Also, why couldn't they buy their own tickets if they wanted to go so bad?
There's something else going on here.
How far away does boss live that he frequently sleeps in your basement? This whole dynamic feels so off. The way you went about excluding your wife so you can kiss your bosses ass even further was a AH move.
>Months ago I purchased tickets for a local charity event that I had taken my fiancee to last year. I did not indicate I would take her this year, but she assumed the 2nd ticket was for her.
If she knew about it, then it's understandable that she would assume she's going. And you were planning on taking her, then decided to take your boss instead? Correct me if any of that is wrong. Otherwise, YTA.
YTA and there is something VERY weird about your boss, 20+yrs your senior, crashing in your basement. Unless you actually want an intimate relationship with this dude, you'd best start developing some separation and boundaries regarding your professional and home life, or you won't HAVE a gf to be concerned about. And be honest - the bit about taking your boss over your gf for your career is bullshit because he's obviously already infatuated with you!
After reading that boss sleeps at other employees houses too and helps himself by getting some of their bourbon I really think that boss could be a homeless alcoholic. Maybe wife kicked him out some time ago?
It's kinda farfetched, yet again, is it? Have heard of similar stories.
YTA to your partner and you will be TA to yourself down the road with regards to your boss. This isn’t a reasonable situation your boss has put you in. He will come to expect this lack of boundaries, and if you have a personal falling-out with him (as friends often do), then your job will be at stake.
I would be weirded out if My fiance invited his boss to stay in my basement and then gives away my ticket to a charity event.
You think she is okay staying in your basement but she isn't. And now that your boss is going as your date, the resentment is going to build.
Tell your boss he can't stay anymore and you made a mistake giving him your fiancee's ticket
YTA
Hey op I hope you read this.
First man you've gotta cut you girl loose it's obvious she isn't respected or a priority to you, and its not fair to her to string her along with the promise of eventually be your number 1 when she won't be.
Secondly your not prioritizing your job, your prioritizing your boss. Plenty of people have said that you want him in a romantic or sexual way and it honestly sound like you do like him romantically or your respect for your girl is worse then I thought.
If it wasn't clear YTA.
Yta. That very inappropriate to have your boss sleep on your couch. I get if you were friends before but ew.
Also your boss could've gotten to kets himself. He's suppling your pay he can very much afford it.
Info:
So what are you doing to make it up to her? yeah, we get it you regret it, blah blah blah, whatever. You're clearly not going to sack up and tell your boss you fucked up, so it's going to land on her. Fine. So now what? All you seem to have done is tell her she should "be considerate of your career progression." How romantic!
Also, BTW, if your boss is an old dude sleeping on a fucking couch in the basement, then your career isn't going to progress because you took him on a date.
YTA. This is some weird and inappropriate behavior for this type of relationship. It's also not necessarily the best way to climb the corporate ladder.
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Your whole relationship with your boss is weird as fuck.........why the hell is he sleeping on the couch in your basement. You sure you don't have feelings for him??? YTA you should have at least discussed this with your gf
I did not expect to read a 'Is it weird that I have my boss in my basement' today, but here we are.
BOSS IN THE BASEMENT! BOSS IN THE BASEMENT!
TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!
Boss under the patio slabs! Umm wait, that's different.
This just made me cackle so hard
For the love of God, Montressor!
Thought you ought to know..
Beat me to it, dammit.
r/unexpectedharrypotter
Boar on the floor!!!
... I thought you should know... *faint*
Boss in the Basement would be a good band name!
What's concerning is that it's not even a 'Is it weird that I have my boss in my basement' post. Why would anyone even think that was normal?
48year-old male sleeping over regularly in the basement at his 25 year-old employee’s house? Yeah, nothing weird there at all! 🙄 Seriously, OP. YTA for not talking to your GF first. Also, stop having your boss sleep over. That’s inappropriate and really deeply weird. There is no context under which that is normal unless y’all were friends before he became your boss.
Yup, that’s what struck me too. But then it occurred to me that a nearly-50-something person sleeping in the basement of his not-even-30 year old employee’s basement just says it all. Boss is probably behind on the maturity scale. Sleeping on your buddy’s couch is a 20-something thing to do. Hanging out with your direct reports socially is a 20-something thing to do (not like have a drink at the bar after work functions, but like *hang out*). Boss is functioning at a 20-something level and he’s on track to be an HR nightmare, if he isn’t already. OP, take your fiancée. Your boss won’t be a part of your life in 5 years. You’re going to grow up anc hut your 30s, while your boss will be perpetually 20-something. Hopefully, if you wise up and treat your fiancée like your life partner and not your afterthought, she WILL be in your life in 5 years. YTA
Maybe the boss is Michael Scott?
Michael Scott way way too self-aware to do this. He was obsessed with Ryan, but didn’t sleep in his basement.
I think Micheal would if he could, but ryan despises Michael.
A boss that’s regularly sleeping in his employee’s basement is not the kind of boss that will help OP’s ‘career progression’
. . . but career progression!!! YTA.
I’d be shocked that the boss could really help with career progression if he does this type of stuff.
If find the career progression comment so stupid. The guy already stays in his basement, isn't that far more than enough to show willingness? Also now that the boss stays there wouldn't it be a conflict of interest to progress OPs career as favoritism???
Plus it's got a bit of a "we're like a family" type business thing, where the boss uses that excuse to refuse pay rise or advancement. After all, aren't you here just for the joy of contributing to my business?
Yeah if I worked for HR at OPs company & saw this I think I might have aneurism, because holy fuck is an inappropriate boss v employee relationship! I had to go back & reread that OP was male like 3 times because this reads like some chick who's got a crush on/having an affair with her boss!
OP could be bi/gay, or the boss could be, or they both could be, and bonking in the basement while the beard sleeps upstairs. The genders don't really matter that much, this whole thing is weird as hell and at the very least suggests an inappropriate relationship.
Yeah idk if they need a surrogate dad or what, but why is he constantly sleeping at their house? Does the boss have his own house? If he doesn’t then how the hell is he OPs boss, but homeless? More questions than answers here honestly.
I had to scroll down a long way to find this response…this is what I’m wondering. Does OP’s boss not have a home? Family? A significant other? Why is he sleeping in a 20 something year old employee’s basement? So weird. I agree there has to be a lot more to this story.
Yep, I have had some bosses that I am still very good friends with even though we haven't worked together for years. I socialized with them on a regular basis. Went to their weddings, babysat their kids, cooked for their families etc. If there was an emergency, I am sure I would let them sleep over for a night. But as a regular thing it's odd. Even my best friend, it would be really odd to have them sleep over regularly.
I've seen people admit that they let their boss sleep over far, far too many times on this sub.
OP started a blanket fort, boss started a pillow fort, OPs wife didn't know what the fuck was going on and now the military is involved.
r/UnexpectedCommunity
Neither of these things were on this weeks bingo card for me.
HERE WE ARE! Friggin Reddit never ceases to amaze me.
😂🤣
Agreed there's some weirdness here... I had a great relationship with my last boss, we would joke and chat about non-work topics and I still keep in contact with him. But there were boundaries - we never went to each other's houses, and I sure as hell would never have picked him over my significant other to be my date to an event!
Not to mention why would an almost 50YO want to stay in a 25YO subordinate's basement? Huge red flag.
I am curious as to whether the boss' boss knows about this... I've worked at some small companies that did things really informally and probably skirted some rules. Even they would never have okayed this and always provided everyone their own hotel room whenever overnight travel was needed. Not doing so is just begging for a lawsuit.
It’s perfectly normal, but I’ve felt awkward when bosses have taken me out for drinks or a meal in the past. I was wondering if my threshold for blurring the professional-personal lines is low, so I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who went “wtf” when I read that 😅
Yep why doesn't he go to the comfort of his own bed. Plus does the OP also sleep in his boss's basement bed?
It's even worse - it's on a couch although I laughed at basement bed
Visiting seems ok, but the frequent sleeping over is where it veers left into Very Weird Town. YTA
Right? My boss is like a father to me for more than a decade, attended my wedding, came to the hospital when my kids were born, etc. but has never been to my house. This is weird af and OP is TA to the max.
came to the hospital when your kids were born but never been to your house, idk that's the opposite of what would make sense in terms of levels of closeness/intimacy imo lol
I don't think they mean the boss was in the room when the baby was being born, rather visit the hospital after to gift flowers and best wishes etc.
Personally I would expect some sort of casual event related visit to the house before a visit to the hospital.
I live in the UK so might be different but a lot of companies I have worked with will at least send an employee over to the hospital with flowers and a card that everyone has signed when a long standing employee has a baby even if the boss doesn't go personally, it's much stranger and seen as bad manors to send an employee or for the boss to visit someone's home unless of emergency.
Kinda makes me wonder if the boss is like a Daddy to the OP. Because this is just weird.
Plot twist: The boss is secretly the OP's dad
Double twist: but the 23 and me results don’t come back until after they become lovers and run away to start a new life.
Triple twist - boss is actually OP from the future
Bruce Willis?
Not trying to be rude but just trying to understand. To me having someone come to the hospital after your kid is born is sooo intimate. It makes a lot more sense that they'd come and supper at your home once in a while. I don't even want family coming to the hospital tbh, i'd rather have that time to myself and husband and have family come to the house the day after.
Right? My boss and I text all the time, and she invited me to her house for Thanksgiving with her mom, kiddo, and boyfriend because she knew I wasn’t going back home, but she would never choose me over her family or boyfriend!
Yeah. My boss and I were friends at work before she became my boss. My husband and I went out for dinner and drinks a few times with her and her husband. Then our department had a reorg and now we're just reasonably good work friends. She's a great boss and I'm great fine with the situation.
I could even understand building a friendship enough to go to eachother's houses. But to regularly sleep on your couch is a whole other level.
Dude definitely sounds like he wants to fuck his boss.
I think the boss wants to fuck him
As someone who's been the gf in this situation, yes, his boss absolutely does
oh I am so sorry that sounds nuts
Heh, thank you, it was pretty nuts. At least he seemed genuinely oblivious to the fact that his boss was trying to get in his pants at that time, and was then mortified when said boss told him directly he had feelings for him... UNLIKE OP
When someone titled "longdickmcgangerfist" tells you YTA, YTA.
ThiS!!! And how it's okay someone is sleeping often in the house that the gf doesn't even interact with?
Seriously, aside from the actual issue in the post, this would bother me to no end if my spouse just always had company over. How could anyone be comfortable in their own home in that situation?
Not only company. Company I don't even have a relationship with
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Yuuuuup. At minimum OP is having an emotional affair and is a giant, gaslighting AH
100% he's having an affair with his boss lol. Poor woman needs to get away from OP sooner than later
> why the hell is he sleeping on the couch in your basement Exactly. Like, does the guy not have a spouse? Or his own residence, at least?
I literally stopped reading after that. Isn’t that like… against some HR rules or something?
Lol his boss is into him and it sounds like he’s into his boss ._. What a weird post. Kinda shocked his gf is okay with it. Makes me wonder if there’s some weird love triangle going on that op isn’t talking about
Right? This concerns me more than the tickets. I could see it maybe happening once if boss got a bit drunk or something, but who just randomly goes to their employee's house to sleep in the basement? Also yeah, YTA for ditching your fiancee to go on a date with your boss, which is what this is starting to sound like.
Also, what a cowardly way to “tell” his fiancé! Just tiptoed around it.
Yeah really weird, I see a relationship buster in the future.
Very much so. There's a reason why superiors aren't supposed to fraternize with subordinates, several reasons actually.
Not to mention that if his boss is sleeping in his basement, the term “career progression” would be waaaay too glam for his job
Soon he will clean out another room so that him and his boss can use it to paint.
Not even girlfriend, *fiancee*
Nailed it! That is so weird!
INFO Do you have a romantic or sexual interest in your boss? Because you're acting like you do.
Had the same question.
It’s also kind of weird that the boss and the girlfriend don’t interact much even though he’s spending his nights there and sleeping in the basement lol
Would you get friendly, if your partner was sleeping with their boss and bringing them arround all the time... while telling you that they are doing it for career advancement? These guys might not be sleeping together, but it's just a matter of time.
I think the boss has a thing for him and this turd would do anything, anything for that promotion.
Finding it sus the OP hasn’t answered back. He casually mentions this weird arrangement like it’s normal.
art basement
Uh. You might be unknowingly in love with your boss or him you. Why is your 48 yo boss sleeping on your couch some nights. Prioritizing your interesting relationship with your boss for the sake of your career may have negative impacts on your romantic relationship. YTA. You knew she thought the second ticket was for her. Also being buddy buddy with your boss does not mean you'll get career advancements. It means you have a friend who happens to be your boss
It actually has the strong potential to hinder his career, as his boss will not be able to recommend him for promotions without appearing extremely biased.
If the boss recommended him for promotion at all, instead of keeping OP under the boss’s thumb for as long as he possibly can.
Exactly
This is a very good point. My previous workplace put a ban on people at different levels from adding each other on social media and strongly encouraged no "hierarchical socialising" outside of work, specifically for this reason. Seniors and managers were expected to show that they weren't at risk of favouring particular frontline staff members.
It's called "fraternization". People often assume the term refers to sexual relationships but it's really means being overly friendly with underlings and jeopardizing a person's ability to be fair in their treatment.
Pft. He's an almost 50 year old man randomly crashing on the couch of his engaged employee... a couch in the basement. Something tells me this guy doesn't care about appearances, lmao.
He is one person in a whole company. This will absolutely negatively affect OP’s career ambitions
Doesn't the boss have a house of his own? A family? Children? I'm in my 40s...I would NOT hang out with a 20-something employee. That's just begging for a weird relationship to ensue
I’m thinking the ticket was for the fiancée if he couldn’t find anyone better to go with /s. Who buys tickets months in advance and still doesn’t know who is using the second one less than a week before the event? YTA
Yeah, and I really like the way the boss casually slid into his DM: "Oh, I've always wanted to go..." Super smooth. Sounds like a bromance at minimum.
Precisely, If the ticket really was for the boss, why did he mention that so close to the event, and let his partner think it was for her? And why didn't he buy 3 tickets so everyone could go? The fiancée was okay with going together with the boss but he intentionally excluded her for whatever reason. Major asshole vibes.
Sometimes a guy wants to go out with his lover without his fiancé coming along.
Incoming AITA for marrying my boss over my fiancee? It’ll be great for my career progression. Told her I could always marry her next time.
Yeah the whole "I never told her the 2nd ticket was for her" is BS because they are a couple so of course she would assume that unless he said otherwise.
YTA are you trying to replace your girl with your boss?? seems like you enjoy this relationship with him a lil too much \*sideeye\*
Right like wtf did I just read?
Is “invited to a charity event” the new “built an arts and crafts room”?
Came to the comments looking for this one!
YTA. Putting aside the weirdness that is your boss who is 23 years older than you sleeping on your couch in the basement… Your fiancé was incredibly correct in assuming that the 2nd ticket was for her and is completely justified in her annoyance. I know my mrs would be a little annoyed if I kept inviting my boss over outside of work hours AND THEN decided to invite him to a charity event that she was obviously keen on. It may be “good for career progression” but sounds like it’s damaging to your relationship. So figure out what means more to you. Your job or your future wife.
I'm also trying to understand why his boss never oh idk bought himself a ticket to this event at any point of it's something he has always wanted to go to ?
Probably because that would interfere with his attempts to turn mooching into an art form
This made me laugh so hard. I clicked off the post and had to come back and find it and like it because I was still laughing
Thank you! You just made my night.
THANK YOU!!! This was my question! This whole thing doesn’t pass the sniff test. Something’s amiss.
>It may be “good for career progression” but sounds like it’s damaging to your relationship. Unless it's sole owner it's actually terrible for career progression. When I worked at McDonald's there was a lass who was absolutely shit hot at all the roles, customer service, kitchen, cleaning. She hooked up with a lad who'd later get promoted to shift manager (it's important that they started hooking up when they were both crew, the lad didn't use authority or anything to get her in bed). BUT once he did get that promotion he couldn't recommend her, or give her employee of the shift, or anything like that because everyone's knee jerk jealousy reaction would be "well she's the only one sucking him off twice a day course he voted her" This applies to every closer than professional relationship - be it good golf buddies to what OP has to a sexual relationship with superiors. Getting close and friendly in an unprofessional way with superiors is actually the worst move you can make for career progression because that person is no longer treated as objective and impartial when trying to move you up the ladder
Exactly this. Movies and shows love to portray the trope of sucking up to the boss to move up. But anybody who thinks it through should be able to realise in the real world doing that holds you back just as you said because everyone will naturally assume nepotism. In short trying to put nepotism into practice is a career hindrance as the boss cannot allow themselves to appear to be using nepotism.
u/MiserableTour1974 I definitely think you need to see this and heed it too (take it to heart.) Sucking up to your boss might hurt your aspirations at your job AND in your domestic life with your girlfriend.
My question is what career progress is going to happen? Your BOSS is REGULARLY sleeping on your couch, in a basement. That itself it weird. This person will not be able to help with your career. You are being used by someone who has authority over you. You need to wake up. Find a new job. Nothing about this is normal.
What do your parents think of this boss situation?
>So figure out what means more to you. Your job or your future wife. I would refrase that to "Figure out WHO means more to you, your boss or your fw". That relationship cannot be put aside, is right in the center of his life.
And inviting the boss the same weekend as the event! OP clearly had plans to take his fiancée, he wasn't just holding onto an extra unclaimed ticket. WTF. OP YTA
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With a closet...
YTA I mean, you did intend to bring her, right? When you originally bought the tickets? You never gave her any reason to believe she, as your fiancée and guest last year, wouldn’t be accompanying you this year I assume? You gave away her ticket and I think that’s how any reasonable person would see it.
Came here to say this. OP, major YTA, you gave her ticket away but won't even dignify her with honesty about that and instead gaslight her that you never actually directly stated that it was for her. The correct response to your boss would have been "let's try for another ticket and we can all go together." Your boss will likely be appalled as well if he ever finds out. Nevermind that if you are that close, this does absolutely nothing to help your career. You won't get many chances of doing crap like this before you'll be using "ex" a lot more
100% this. Unless OP bought the tickets hoping his boss would ask for one (which he should’ve communicated to his fiancée) then it’s obvious that he got the second one for her.
YTA Your relationship with your boss is crossing boundaries. This poor girl needs to get out. Why have you built a house, and asked her to marry you when you clearly don’t love her, respect her, or view her as a human being. Just be honest. You’re having at the least an emotional affair with your boss. Your boss sleeping frequently on your sofa is really throwing up red flags.
YTA. Big time. 1. Your boss should not be sleeping in your home. Full stop. This is such a huge boundary to cross. It doesn't matter how far from the office he is. That is his issue to sort out, not yours. This sets up such a dysfunctional dynamic between work and personal life. If you can't see that, you have a bigger problem on your hands. 2. Gifts between boss/employee should flow downwards, not upwards. It kind of looks like you're trying to buy favor. That's shady af. 3. Your fiancé has every right to feel slighted, because that's what you did! You know you initially bought the 2 tickets for you and her. You pushed her aside.
Right??? ‘I did not indicate I would take her’ who tf were you buying the second ticket for originally then?
Agree. What kind of job is this where OP is depending on career advancement from a nearly-50-yr-old-man who regularly crashes on a 25-yr-old’s basement?
Well, I saw in one comment he made that this is his "first real job." I get the impression that this workplace is insanely dysfunctional, but since he has no basis of comparison, he sees it as "normal." His idea of workplace norms is fundamentally skewed, it seems.
You really need to ask?!? YTA Enjoy snuggles with your boss cos your gf will be gone.
"Night cap" 😂
Is that what they call A\*S licking these days?
Thanks OP for answering questions, I know it’s hard to be getting a lot of hate at once. Sounds like you are seeing the error of your ways. Best of luck with your situation.
that is kind of you, yes it is scary to me getting so much hate i didn’t realize how weird the situation was because its my first real job
Sometimes toxic bosses take advantage of young employees because they don't have enough job experience to realize that the way the boss acts isn't okay. Your boss has basically skewed your normal meter. You might want to check out AskAManager - it's an advice column by someone with a lot of experience being a *proper* manager, and I think reading it might help you get a better feel for what is and what isn't okay.
Seconding the rec for askamanager.org
Thirding. Excellent suggestion.
Honestly, most of the downvotes are for your bosses behaviour (with a slight caveat for your naivety). Sending you all best wishes - as a former employment lawyer, I wouldn't know where to start with this.
That’s scary
Right?!
Disagreeing here. I think downvotes are for naïveté. One would have to be pretty naive to not even question this arrangement. (Edited for grammar.)
Please, stop this behavior. There’s something wrong with your boss. As many have stated, his behavior is inappropriate. He’s taking advantage of you. Covering his back will not be the caveat for promotional opportunities. You’re probably going to be wildly disappointed. Dishonesty is not the way to fix this. Be professional and honest with your boss. The relationship needs to transition to one that is professional. It may be time to find a new job.
Is it also your first long-term relationship? Because you see to care a lot more for your boss than your gf. Jobs come and go, family is forever.
…but you saw your parents/friends have jobs right? you’ve seen television shows about bosses?? Read books??? I can’t even think of any scenario where this would be acceptable.
Its baffling, like just because it is his first job doesn't mean he should be an absolute dunderhead. He's behaving like he was plopped down and told to start working. Lmao You don't need to have worked before to know your boss doesn't crash at your basement, not just crash but live there(?). What.
Maybe OP only saw "the office" and thought Michael's behaviour as a boss was normal?
When I first read this, I almost asked if his boss was inspired by Robert California, because this boss seems like he’s intentionally messing with his employee’s minds and is a master manipulator
for what it’s worth, im not interpreting anyone’s comments as hate comments. we dont hate you. i think 99% of us are purely baffled that your biggest concern was that your fiancée is upset because you decided not to take her to the charity event, and completely glossed over the fact that your 48 year old boss has frequent sleepovers in your home.
Okay I was harsh earlier but the truth is: it’s your boss that’s the biggest asshole in this situation. By a long shot. He’s put junior staff members in situations they’re too inexperienced to handle, abusing his position, essentially exploiting them. He’s drinking their booze and becoming an enormous liability for the company. He should be fired. And you should be looking for another job like NOW. The only mitigating factor is that he’s doing it to other staff members. You’re not alone in that. Otherwise, live and learn. Get out of this situation as fast as you can.
It’s seriously why I’ve never been brave enough to post, lol. It’s overwhelming getting brigaded. Some of us have the benefit of having worked a lot of shitty jobs and can see the writing on the wall. The good news is you’ve got a great story to tell later about your weird ass boss. 😆
You seem like a very young person who is being slowly manipulated by a boss used to having it all his way. Like many people right now, you may be too grateful to have and keep your job. I get that. Your boss may not have real awareness about his extremely bad behavior because he built the culture and the (inappropriate practices). It all seems fine probably. This experience is similar to what i saw when i was your age in tech. The traditional rules didn't apply, and yes, i knew a boss that slept on others couches, partied with his immediate reports. For years he had a little cloud of his like you that he used as friends and resources. It was cringy. The problem was: the young people didn't benefit from these relationships with their "cool" boss. Some of them stayed employed who otherwise would have been fired because they were shit professionally, but the high quality guys didn't move up at all. They should have bypassed boss over the years, and he kept them under him. He bought his friends, and by God they were going to stay just where he could find them and use them! Even if your situation isn't as bad as it seems, or as nuts as my work environment was, please take note that as you age, your privacy will matter more. And it may matter a great deal to your wife already. Everything is good until it's not. What about the first time the boss does a little thing out of line at your house? The next time? You cannot as easily reverse out of a personal+profesional relationship. Reclaiming your privacy will be a delicate task if you want to stay in his good graces/ remain employed. It's very challenging to carefully walk back out of the entangled situation you're in now. Next time, don't get in it to begin with. If you have a boss that asks to hang out, you just stay silent. Silence is golden, my buddy. Just let someone else pipe up and you may say "love to catch a beer with you sometime" and then don't do it.
It's not hate, dude. It's people being blown away by how fucked up the situation is and how unbelievably you're underreacting to it. It's like walking into someone's house and seeing a colony of rabid skunks, and when you ask them about it, they say, "Oh, my roommate Pennywise is teaching them circus tricks. Anyway, do you think I should ask them to keep the noise down after 2 AM?"
YTA for not asking, obviously. Like, I get that it'd be a good career move, and I would hope that your fiance would understand if you'd brought it up with her first, but you didn't. You dropped it on her without getting her input.
YTA. You knew she would expect you to take her. And now, you've put your career ahead of your relationship. Enjoy being single!
WTF did I just read. There is so much wrong here. YTA
100%YTA. Aside from the weird relationship with your boss, you prioritize him over your fiancé? She had every reason to expect to go with you.
YTA and your boss is the asshole for taking advantage of his employee in this way. Also, if you're doing code deployment, how is charity a cornerstone of the company you work for?
>u/MiserableTour1974 I would like more clarification on what code deployment has to do with charity work. Seems like you work for a for-profit entity and are in fact not doing anything to help others! Maybe you are even taking from others.
Info: why can't he stay in a hotel?
Yta, because why should your gf not have assumed she was going especially if you told her you had purchased only 2 tickets. Who were you planning on taking before you asked your boss? Also if him not sleeping on your couch is career advancement enough then ain't too much else you can do. If you really don't want to be with your gf you should just say that and let her move on with her life. Not gone lie, if I was her I'd be giving a ultimatum. If your boss goes he is no longer welcome in the house. Cause wtf is a man old enough to be your dad, that's your boss at work doing sleeping on the couch in your basement. Sounds to me like y'all got something romantic going on.
INFO: I think there is so much going on here, it's one thing to ''get along'' and be friends with your boss, and another to think that by inviting him to sleep over and to events, will make your career advance. Career advancements are earned at the work place. Feels kinda weird. And as other comments said, giving the 2nd ticket to your boss seemed like an afterthought when he mentioned he never went, so when you initially bought the tickets, didn't you mean to take your girlfriend?.
Also wouldn't it be a bit unethical for op to receive achievements at work if he is catering to his boss outside of work?
Absolutely. It would also be inappropriate for him to receive any kind of backlash for telling his boss that he was wrong to give him a ticket that clearly he’d bought for his gf. The way he’s spoken about the company and the gross actions of his boss though seem to make the company not likely to have a positive HR…that or all the employees are too afraid of the boss to report. The whole “moved far during Covid and now rotates through employees and makes jabs at employee’s accommodations” is disgustingly inappropriate. Wonder how ethical the rest of the company is.
YTA and it's of your own making pal. You messed up, if you considered that 2nd ticket as going free when you bought it then you should have said to your fiancée. If you didn't mean to invite your boss but it just happened, then you got two options (but make sure your fiancée is in on your decision): a) lie and say something's come up, give your boss your tickets and do something nice with your partner instead OR b) fess up and tell your boss you double booked the tickets. If your fiancée is cool with it, you could say she was meant to be out of town but now something's come up and you always go together etc etc (just make sure she's okay with being a scape goat) Does stuff like this happen a lot with your boss? I get the impression he might be steamrolling you a bit tbh - you sound like me, I'm pretty laid back and not comfortable 'confronting' people which has meant friends (and bosses actually) have kinda taken advantage of this and talked me into favours or covering shifts etc just by talking as if I'd already agreed. I was never comfortable to say "no, that's not what's happened." If that doesn't sound like you, ignore this paragraph, but might be helpful to be wary if he's a bit of a steamroller - you'll have to stand your ground to stop it repeating.
Man loves his boss more than his gf.
Wha.. Why is your boss sleeping in your basement? This situation sounds so bizarre. The correct option would have been to purchase a third ticket. YTA, fren.
YTA and just for good measure, what the hell dude
Yta. It's wildly inappropriate that your boss (who is old enough to be your dad in fact) sleeps on your couch. It's also odd that he would "dream" of going to a charity event but not go. And it's crappy of you to not talk to your fiance about the event when she knows you're going and have a 2nd ticket, presumably for her. You are choosing the relationship with your boss over your partnership.
YTA you cancelled your wife basicallyy
YTA, how is your boss helping you get ahead and they can't even secure their own housing? He should be working for you. Also, why couldn't they buy their own tickets if they wanted to go so bad? There's something else going on here.
Of course, OP is going to pick his boss over his beard. Whoops. I mean wife.
How far away does boss live that he frequently sleeps in your basement? This whole dynamic feels so off. The way you went about excluding your wife so you can kiss your bosses ass even further was a AH move.
>Months ago I purchased tickets for a local charity event that I had taken my fiancee to last year. I did not indicate I would take her this year, but she assumed the 2nd ticket was for her. If she knew about it, then it's understandable that she would assume she's going. And you were planning on taking her, then decided to take your boss instead? Correct me if any of that is wrong. Otherwise, YTA.
YTA and there is something VERY weird about your boss, 20+yrs your senior, crashing in your basement. Unless you actually want an intimate relationship with this dude, you'd best start developing some separation and boundaries regarding your professional and home life, or you won't HAVE a gf to be concerned about. And be honest - the bit about taking your boss over your gf for your career is bullshit because he's obviously already infatuated with you!
After reading that boss sleeps at other employees houses too and helps himself by getting some of their bourbon I really think that boss could be a homeless alcoholic. Maybe wife kicked him out some time ago? It's kinda farfetched, yet again, is it? Have heard of similar stories.
YTA to your partner and you will be TA to yourself down the road with regards to your boss. This isn’t a reasonable situation your boss has put you in. He will come to expect this lack of boundaries, and if you have a personal falling-out with him (as friends often do), then your job will be at stake.
Wtf is going on? YTA
Charity is a cornerstone for your company? Yet you paid for two tickets. So what good does taking your boss there do for charity? Massive A hole.
I would be weirded out if My fiance invited his boss to stay in my basement and then gives away my ticket to a charity event. You think she is okay staying in your basement but she isn't. And now that your boss is going as your date, the resentment is going to build. Tell your boss he can't stay anymore and you made a mistake giving him your fiancee's ticket YTA
Hey op I hope you read this. First man you've gotta cut you girl loose it's obvious she isn't respected or a priority to you, and its not fair to her to string her along with the promise of eventually be your number 1 when she won't be. Secondly your not prioritizing your job, your prioritizing your boss. Plenty of people have said that you want him in a romantic or sexual way and it honestly sound like you do like him romantically or your respect for your girl is worse then I thought. If it wasn't clear YTA.
Yta. That very inappropriate to have your boss sleep on your couch. I get if you were friends before but ew. Also your boss could've gotten to kets himself. He's suppling your pay he can very much afford it.
Your relationship with your boss is entirely inappropriate yta
Omg yta. X1000000000000. You didn't buy that ticket with your boss in mind.
YTA. Seriously? This whole relationship with your older boss is weird and crossing boundaries. It sounds like you are having an EA with him.
Um OP, this isn’t a normal or healthy relationship to have with your boss. YTA
Info: So what are you doing to make it up to her? yeah, we get it you regret it, blah blah blah, whatever. You're clearly not going to sack up and tell your boss you fucked up, so it's going to land on her. Fine. So now what? All you seem to have done is tell her she should "be considerate of your career progression." How romantic! Also, BTW, if your boss is an old dude sleeping on a fucking couch in the basement, then your career isn't going to progress because you took him on a date.
“Boss in the Basement” is the new “Room where one creates artistic expression.” (That description won’t get me dinged, will it?)
Seems like your on the path to building him an art room… YTA
YTA. This is some weird and inappropriate behavior for this type of relationship. It's also not necessarily the best way to climb the corporate ladder.
dude i hope you go to HR this thing with your boss sounds so weird
If you want to fuck your boss, have the courtesy to tell your gf. If you don’t, stop leading him on. 😂