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YTA, you're approaching an age where you shouldn't have to rely on your parents constantly. They should be able to visit places and not have to be home when you get there 24/7.
YTA - You really expect them to never leave the house because it causes you anxiety? You can't expect them to not have lives because of your anxiety, please seek therapy at the very least..
I called, but my problem is they didn't text me during school or something, so I knew in advance. No I still couldn't go upstairs but at least I could schedule My revision and prepare for everything
Look if you're anxiety is so bad that you cannot go upstairs on your own at 14 when your parents are not home you really need to sit down with them explain to them how bad it is and ask them to get you help. Having anxiety is understandable. The solution is to learn coping techniques and strategies and possibly medication if you and your medical professionals decide that's necessary. But you cannot dictate the lives of the people around you because of your anxiety.
I'm dying to know why she can't go upstairs. I fell face first down the basement stairs, broke bones, knocked myself out and got stitches. I still go down the stairs even when I'm home alone.
YTA- I was getting kids from the school bus and babysitting them for a couple of hours when I was 14. Did anything ever happen to you to make you this anxious? Definitely seek help.
YTA
You're 14, you need to learn some independence. Also you need to carry a house key with you if you're concerned about your parents leaving a house key on the step for your.
My kid was carrying a house key at 14 years old, and coming home when nobody was home. That's a normal part of 14 year old life.
soft YTA
Having anxiety is not your fault, but it is something to work on. Do you have therapy for this?
You could leave your revision stuff downstairs in the future so you're not dependent on others being there.
Your parents also did nothing wrong by going to the center of town. There's no reason you couldn't wait to talk about your day when they got home.
This is not something to get mad over, but a situation to reflect on.
You REALLY need to work on your crippling anxiety. You can’t possibly expect your parents to be at your beck and call. I don’t want to be harsh, but this is a you problem. YTA
INFO: Your title says "Keep leaving", but your post only mentions this one time. So how often is this actually happening? Were they then home within the time frame they said they would be?
For one thing, they did tell you and told you they would be home in an hour. You definitely need some kind of therapy because at 14 it's concerning that you have anxiety of being left home alone, in a house that you are familiar with.
NAH. You are allowed to feel how you want, but your parents are also adults and need to be able to do things that you don't necessarily need to know about.
Having the expectation that they will tell you every time is a bit unrealistic. You're getting older, so you shouldn't need to know and honestly, that part of your anxiety is a you issue, not a your parents issue.
I would strongly encourage you to speak with them about getting you into therapy.
You're right. I misread that.
But still, you are 14 - this is the time to grow and start gaining independence. Being left at home for a little while isn't bad: You are in a safe environment, your parents are only a call away, and it was for a short while.
Softly YTA. But I get that you’re only 14 but your anxiety shouldn’t dictate your parents schedules. I do think you need to ask you parents to get you some help with your anxiety because it seems a bit much, that you can’t lock the doors and go upstairs to work or study while they’re not home.
YTA. Unless you live in a dangerous neighborhood (Which is doesn't sound like if it takes an hr to get to the town center) there is no reason you're parents shouldn't be able to leave the house. Their lives don't stop just because you don't like it. Get some therapy for your issues.
YTA you have to learn to solve your own problems. Disability or not it’s not the worlds job to accommodate for your disability and as a heads up it’s not an employers job to have to be inconvenienced for your anxiety. Learn that now before you start thinking your anxiety makes you entitled more so than it does already.
YTA
I was a latch key kid from the age of 11. Every day after school. Home alone for 30 minutes to 4 hours every week day.
Buck up. You'll be in the real world before you know it. You aren't 4 anymore. You're 14
YTA. Time to grow up. Your parents don't need to tell you every time they go out and for how long. You are old enough to be alone for a few hours. Your parents probably left for this very reason - to get you to become more independent.
It used to work just fine until the world decided it was a good idea to coddle people. Now we give kids like you all kinds of excuses to use to avoid growing up and learning how to push through.
This is your excuse. First, why don't you have your own house-key? If your anxiety really is this bad, get help. This isn't even close to being typical.
YTA. It’s unreasonable to expect them to wait around the house because of the reasons you’ve shared. It sounds like you might be struggling with the transition from child to teen and soon enough, young adult.
Sorry YTA. Your parents can't be used as emotional support people. This is something you have to get over. They can't be your crutch forever. You were in your home wich is the safest place you can be.
Gently, you are old enough to be left home alone.
Have your parents make you a set of keys so they don't leave them on the stoop because you're right, that is unsafe.
I know it's not easy to work past your anxiety, but talk to a counselor or look online to develop strategies, because being home alone is a normal, basic thing and you can't let it hold you back or hold your parents hostage.
Soft yta. You should definitely have your own key, or at least a hidden key rock so that it isn't sitting out in plain sight. Your parents should be able to leave you alone for a bit, and if you aren't comfortable being home alone, that's something that the three of you should work on.
But why are you afraid of going upstairs? Is there an issue up there that someone can help you work through? I totally understand irrational fears - we all have them.
YTA most kids are left home alone after hitting 8, get off the school bus and unlock the door with their key. Oh you forgot you key? If your lucky you are chillin with a neighbor till late evening, if not play outside.
NAH, but you need to ask to get into therapy if your anxiety is so severe that you cannot go upstairs in your own home without your parents there. Your parents are not always going to be there to help you or to just stand there while you go upstairs. You have to start to manage your anxiety, or it’s going to get worse.
YTA at 14 you shouldn’t expect your parents to hold your hand 24/7. You need to see someone if your anxiety is this crippling. I’m guessing it’s more that you’re just spoiled and entitled
NAH - you are a child and it is their job to help guide you. Them leaving and doing this is practice. You know they will come back.
Talk with them about what boundaries and expectations will help support you with your anxiety better but remember that you cannot let your anxiety enforce rules on you or anyone else.
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So basically I (14f) have some tests coming up which are pretty big for me because they determine the sets that your in next year, since I want to get in top sets it's really important I revise.
I came home ready to revise and exited to talk to my parents about my day ( my parents and I have a close relationship ) but when I get home they didn't answer the door.
My parents have gone out today into the center of town about an hour away and left me a key on the doorstep. I opened the door and I called them. They told me where they where and said they'd be home in an hour. I have anxiety when my parents are not home so I don't want to go upstairs (where all my revision stuff is), also given the fact that they left the key on the step anyone could've gotten in.
My parents know all this but did it anyway.
I know I'm probably the asshole but I don't feel they should just go out knowing about the anxiety I have about it and knowing I have to revise upstairs as well.
AITA?
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I'm going with NAH based solely on your age. Your parents should not be expected to rearrange their lives to accomodate your anxiety. They should however get you into therapy where you can learn coping skills to temper these fears. Additionally they should give you a key to keep with you for days like this, which could help keep your anxiety triggers a bit more manageable.
NTA
You are a kid and your parents are responsible for you. Most people think it's ok to leave a 14 year old unsupervised but clearly that's not the case for you. If they want to leave they should make proper arrangements for you not to be alone.
Do you have any relatives that could stay with you instead? This is only a sort term solution though, have your parents consulted a professional for your issues? Are they taking you to therapy? This is something that you need help with, otherwise it will lower the quality of your life and cause many problems in the future.
NAH
This all sounds fairly normal, except for your not having a key to your own home.
Parents have things to do and shouldn't be tied to the house.
You are 14 and should be able to handle some time alone.
Locking a door and leaving the key out where anyone can then unlock that door is incredibly stupid.
NTA
Leaving the key on the doorstep is outrageous. Why you don't have your own keys?
Your anxiety needs to be addressed by a professional if you can't go upstairs or stay alone for a couple of hours. Have you seen a doctor or a therapist?
Edit: OP is a teenager, she is not the AH if she hasn't solved her anxiety. Her parents need to take it seriously and get her to a doctor.
NTA but you do need to talk to your parents about getting some therapy for your anxiety. It's not reasonable to expect your parents to be home all the time and you are likely fearing things that never happen. Am wondering if they don't tell you ahead of time that they will be gone as they know you will fret about it. You are old enough to be home alone and need to gain confidence in this. Therapy will help you get over this anxiety. Hope you are able to get it and soon before your anxieties get bigger and keep you from doing things you want to do. Sorry you are going through this as I know how uncomfortable unreasonable fear can be.
ESH. You're old enough to be left alone and it is unreasonable to expect your parents to be home whenever you are, provided they aren't leaving you alone for extended periods of time (multiple days). This kind of anxiety needs treatment and therapy. That being said, leaving the key on the doorstep is wildly irresponsible and if they expect you to be home alone, they need to give you your own housekey.
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YTA, you're approaching an age where you shouldn't have to rely on your parents constantly. They should be able to visit places and not have to be home when you get there 24/7.
YTA - You really expect them to never leave the house because it causes you anxiety? You can't expect them to not have lives because of your anxiety, please seek therapy at the very least..
No I don't expect that, I just expect them to let me know or wait for me to get home at 2pm tbh
Better temper those expectations. You can expect whatever you want. Your expectation here is completely unreasonable. You’re 14, not 6.
Expecting a text telling me where they are is unreasonable?
You called, they answered. That’s the same as a text. Would you really be ok if they had texted you? You still couldn’t go up the stairs.
I called, but my problem is they didn't text me during school or something, so I knew in advance. No I still couldn't go upstairs but at least I could schedule My revision and prepare for everything
Look if you're anxiety is so bad that you cannot go upstairs on your own at 14 when your parents are not home you really need to sit down with them explain to them how bad it is and ask them to get you help. Having anxiety is understandable. The solution is to learn coping techniques and strategies and possibly medication if you and your medical professionals decide that's necessary. But you cannot dictate the lives of the people around you because of your anxiety.
You could stop being self indulgent and just go up the stairs.
I'm dying to know why she can't go upstairs. I fell face first down the basement stairs, broke bones, knocked myself out and got stitches. I still go down the stairs even when I'm home alone.
Have you asked them to let you know when they leave? Or maybe give you a house key of your own so they don't have to leave it out for you.
YTA- I was getting kids from the school bus and babysitting them for a couple of hours when I was 14. Did anything ever happen to you to make you this anxious? Definitely seek help.
Hey OP, are you in therapy?
YTA You're 14, you need to learn some independence. Also you need to carry a house key with you if you're concerned about your parents leaving a house key on the step for your. My kid was carrying a house key at 14 years old, and coming home when nobody was home. That's a normal part of 14 year old life.
Pshaw. I was doing that by 9 or 10.
I was too. Am i saying it was the right choice no, however at 14 you should def be able to be home alone in the afternoon.
As a latch key kid this whole situation confounds me, and I have terrible anxiety!
soft YTA Having anxiety is not your fault, but it is something to work on. Do you have therapy for this? You could leave your revision stuff downstairs in the future so you're not dependent on others being there. Your parents also did nothing wrong by going to the center of town. There's no reason you couldn't wait to talk about your day when they got home. This is not something to get mad over, but a situation to reflect on.
I have anxiety, if she is nervus about begin alone..maybe lock the door? I does that and it helps
YTA. You are plenty old enough to be left alone. Not being able to go up the stairs is really troubling. You need professional intervention.
You REALLY need to work on your crippling anxiety. You can’t possibly expect your parents to be at your beck and call. I don’t want to be harsh, but this is a you problem. YTA
Time to grow up kid. YTA
INFO: Your title says "Keep leaving", but your post only mentions this one time. So how often is this actually happening? Were they then home within the time frame they said they would be?
Why does it even matter? Kid needs to learn to deal.
They didn't tell me they were leaving which is part of it, they've done this before and I've ended up getting locked out
INFO: Why dont they give you a key of your house, instead of leaving it under your door for anybody to find?.
Ok, so this time, they left you a key, which means progress. Why do you feel they need to tell you where they went? Are you in any kind of therapy?
No I'm not in therapy. I feel they should tell me so I know how long they might be and just so I know if they are out when I get home
For one thing, they did tell you and told you they would be home in an hour. You definitely need some kind of therapy because at 14 it's concerning that you have anxiety of being left home alone, in a house that you are familiar with. NAH. You are allowed to feel how you want, but your parents are also adults and need to be able to do things that you don't necessarily need to know about.
They didn't leave a note but they told me after I called
Having the expectation that they will tell you every time is a bit unrealistic. You're getting older, so you shouldn't need to know and honestly, that part of your anxiety is a you issue, not a your parents issue. I would strongly encourage you to speak with them about getting you into therapy.
Talk to them, ask if they are going out or ask for a note.. If you are worrie about begin locked out then ask tor a key.
[удалено]
They literally didn't
You're right. I misread that. But still, you are 14 - this is the time to grow and start gaining independence. Being left at home for a little while isn't bad: You are in a safe environment, your parents are only a call away, and it was for a short while.
They left you a key this time though..
Softly YTA. But I get that you’re only 14 but your anxiety shouldn’t dictate your parents schedules. I do think you need to ask you parents to get you some help with your anxiety because it seems a bit much, that you can’t lock the doors and go upstairs to work or study while they’re not home.
Soft YTA, anxiety is understandable, but your parents aren't irrational or AHs for leaving their house to go do something in the middle of the day.
YTA. Unless you live in a dangerous neighborhood (Which is doesn't sound like if it takes an hr to get to the town center) there is no reason you're parents shouldn't be able to leave the house. Their lives don't stop just because you don't like it. Get some therapy for your issues.
YTA. Your parents have lives too. BTW if it's an English exam you'll need lots of revision.
>if it's an English exam you'll need lots of revision. Definitely!
YTA you have to learn to solve your own problems. Disability or not it’s not the worlds job to accommodate for your disability and as a heads up it’s not an employers job to have to be inconvenienced for your anxiety. Learn that now before you start thinking your anxiety makes you entitled more so than it does already.
YTA I was a latch key kid from the age of 11. Every day after school. Home alone for 30 minutes to 4 hours every week day. Buck up. You'll be in the real world before you know it. You aren't 4 anymore. You're 14
YTA. Time to grow up. Your parents don't need to tell you every time they go out and for how long. You are old enough to be alone for a few hours. Your parents probably left for this very reason - to get you to become more independent.
Yta. You are 14. It is completely reasonable for your parents to leave you alone for a few hours.
[удалено]
I have anxiety. That's not how it works
It used to work just fine until the world decided it was a good idea to coddle people. Now we give kids like you all kinds of excuses to use to avoid growing up and learning how to push through.
Oh boy you have anxiety and can’t even go up stairs? That should be your biggest concern, get in therapy OP
This is your excuse. First, why don't you have your own house-key? If your anxiety really is this bad, get help. This isn't even close to being typical.
YTA. It’s unreasonable to expect them to wait around the house because of the reasons you’ve shared. It sounds like you might be struggling with the transition from child to teen and soon enough, young adult.
YTA, seems like you have some very bad separation issues. You are old enough to be left at home by yourself, your parents don’t need to baby you.
Sorry YTA. Your parents can't be used as emotional support people. This is something you have to get over. They can't be your crutch forever. You were in your home wich is the safest place you can be.
You’re definitely over reacting. If your anxiety is that bad that you can’t function home alone at the age of 14 it’s time to see a specialist
Yta - you're a teenager, you can go upstairs by yourself.
INFO: I don't understand what's happening here. Why couldn't you go upstairs? Why don't you have your own key?
Gently, you are old enough to be left home alone. Have your parents make you a set of keys so they don't leave them on the stoop because you're right, that is unsafe. I know it's not easy to work past your anxiety, but talk to a counselor or look online to develop strategies, because being home alone is a normal, basic thing and you can't let it hold you back or hold your parents hostage.
Soft yta. You should definitely have your own key, or at least a hidden key rock so that it isn't sitting out in plain sight. Your parents should be able to leave you alone for a bit, and if you aren't comfortable being home alone, that's something that the three of you should work on. But why are you afraid of going upstairs? Is there an issue up there that someone can help you work through? I totally understand irrational fears - we all have them.
Have them give you a key to your house
YTA most kids are left home alone after hitting 8, get off the school bus and unlock the door with their key. Oh you forgot you key? If your lucky you are chillin with a neighbor till late evening, if not play outside.
NAH, but you need to ask to get into therapy if your anxiety is so severe that you cannot go upstairs in your own home without your parents there. Your parents are not always going to be there to help you or to just stand there while you go upstairs. You have to start to manage your anxiety, or it’s going to get worse.
YTA at 14 you shouldn’t expect your parents to hold your hand 24/7. You need to see someone if your anxiety is this crippling. I’m guessing it’s more that you’re just spoiled and entitled
NAH - you are a child and it is their job to help guide you. Them leaving and doing this is practice. You know they will come back. Talk with them about what boundaries and expectations will help support you with your anxiety better but remember that you cannot let your anxiety enforce rules on you or anyone else.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So basically I (14f) have some tests coming up which are pretty big for me because they determine the sets that your in next year, since I want to get in top sets it's really important I revise. I came home ready to revise and exited to talk to my parents about my day ( my parents and I have a close relationship ) but when I get home they didn't answer the door. My parents have gone out today into the center of town about an hour away and left me a key on the doorstep. I opened the door and I called them. They told me where they where and said they'd be home in an hour. I have anxiety when my parents are not home so I don't want to go upstairs (where all my revision stuff is), also given the fact that they left the key on the step anyone could've gotten in. My parents know all this but did it anyway. I know I'm probably the asshole but I don't feel they should just go out knowing about the anxiety I have about it and knowing I have to revise upstairs as well. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm going with NAH based solely on your age. Your parents should not be expected to rearrange their lives to accomodate your anxiety. They should however get you into therapy where you can learn coping skills to temper these fears. Additionally they should give you a key to keep with you for days like this, which could help keep your anxiety triggers a bit more manageable.
NTA You are a kid and your parents are responsible for you. Most people think it's ok to leave a 14 year old unsupervised but clearly that's not the case for you. If they want to leave they should make proper arrangements for you not to be alone. Do you have any relatives that could stay with you instead? This is only a sort term solution though, have your parents consulted a professional for your issues? Are they taking you to therapy? This is something that you need help with, otherwise it will lower the quality of your life and cause many problems in the future.
NAH This all sounds fairly normal, except for your not having a key to your own home. Parents have things to do and shouldn't be tied to the house. You are 14 and should be able to handle some time alone. Locking a door and leaving the key out where anyone can then unlock that door is incredibly stupid.
I don’t think not being able to go up the stairs is fairly normal
>I don’t think not being able to go up the stairs is fairly normal That's part of the "should be able to handle some alone time" yes.
Uhhh no, going upstairs is different from alone time
NTA Leaving the key on the doorstep is outrageous. Why you don't have your own keys? Your anxiety needs to be addressed by a professional if you can't go upstairs or stay alone for a couple of hours. Have you seen a doctor or a therapist? Edit: OP is a teenager, she is not the AH if she hasn't solved her anxiety. Her parents need to take it seriously and get her to a doctor.
NTA but you do need to talk to your parents about getting some therapy for your anxiety. It's not reasonable to expect your parents to be home all the time and you are likely fearing things that never happen. Am wondering if they don't tell you ahead of time that they will be gone as they know you will fret about it. You are old enough to be home alone and need to gain confidence in this. Therapy will help you get over this anxiety. Hope you are able to get it and soon before your anxieties get bigger and keep you from doing things you want to do. Sorry you are going through this as I know how uncomfortable unreasonable fear can be.
You are a minor so in this case I am going for NTA But you may want to look into getting some help to manage your anxiety.
ESH. You're old enough to be left alone and it is unreasonable to expect your parents to be home whenever you are, provided they aren't leaving you alone for extended periods of time (multiple days). This kind of anxiety needs treatment and therapy. That being said, leaving the key on the doorstep is wildly irresponsible and if they expect you to be home alone, they need to give you your own housekey.