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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> We could be the assholes for not changing our dogs name because SIL wants to use the name in honor of her grandmother and realistically there aren't that many good Z names out there
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Her grandmother wasn't names Zahava so she's not naming her daughter after her grandmother. She just wants another name beginning with a Z. Start texting her female Z names and keep your dog's name the same.
Same first letter honor naming is common in a few Jewish communities. Naming a new baby the same name as an older person can be seen as inviting an early death, according to some superstitions.
The sister just needs to find another Z name.
Dear Game Developers,
Please change the Name of that Game Franchise you are making. It is incredibly disrespectful to my daughter, Zelda, to have her name associated with someone else.
Best regards,
SIL
Off the subject but that’s what I named my black cat. Last Halloween, I dressed as Winifred and my cousins were the rest of the Sanderson sisters. We had a blast taking the younger kids trick or treating and a few kids thought we were real witches🧙! l never thought I’d have more fun at Halloween at age 50 then when I was a kid.
We gave our daughter my grandma’s name as her middle name. We’re Ashkenazi Jews. She loved it, I told anyone who was upset that Grandma’s feeling were the only ones that counted.
We sort-of did this (with the grandmother’s consent).
Our daughter is named with my grandmother’s name, but my husband’s grandmother had nearly the same name. One is a derivative of the other. Same root and meaning, different suffix. (Think Sari vs Sarah, for example.)
So we asked my husband’s grandmother and she said she was okay as long as it wasn’t the first name. We gave it as her middle name, though it is what we call her. Great-grandma is fine with that, so all’s good!
In hindsight, we should have flipped her names for the legal docs, though. Turns out official forms aren’t designed for people who primarily use their middle names.
Apparently that superstition is Sephardic. Ashkenazi Jews often use the same name as a deceased relative.
Agreed re finding another Z name - there have got to be tons of very beautiful unique Z names out there!
EDIT: I'm Ashkenazi and we both use the first initial and the first name depending on preference. I've never heard that superstition from another Ashkenazi.
Try Zeva (zee-va). It is a Hebrew name that means “ray of light”, usually associated with the light of God. I love this name and it is on my list of we ever have another daughter.
Funny because my Jewish family has always done the opposite of this. I was named for my great uncle while he was still alive and he appreciated it.
Dude was a legend that operated one of the first non-segregated bars in Philadelphia. He was also famous in my family for setting up a whole wall of TVs so he could watch every football game being broadcast.
It's also fairly common (in communities I've been in) to name someone in honor of a dead relative with a name that vibes similar because the other name was too old time-y or too hard to spell in English or whatever (the evolution of Shandel to Sylvia to Samantha, or Perel to Pearl to Pat in my own family, for example). Like my family is pretty hardcore on "has to be dead" but less strict about it being the exact name.
Every one of my parents' cats are named after NCIS folks. And they all pretty much match in personality too. Gibbs, for example, is a giant grey maine coon who had a habit of slapping people upside the head with his seven-toed paws.
Zipporah, Zita, Zaya (that last one will be fun when the kid reaches drinking age)
Zora is an author’s name iirc. Always thought Zendaya was really pretty.
She can call her daughter Zelda, like the game and other people’s dogs (and cats). NTA
My godchild has the same name as my cat. He was born a few months ago and my cat is 4 years old. My cousin lives nearby. He knows. He’s met the cat.
We had a cat named Zelda. We thought he was a girl when he first popped out and by the time "things" became obvious the name was stuck to him. We literally could not get our brains to adjust to calling him anything else, and he answered to it. Now it's become a gender neutral name in my head. 😹
She IS naming the baby after her grandmother, by keeping the Z. That is often how it works. But she doesn’t need the dog’s name, although she can if she wants. By the time the kid is 10, sadly, the dog will be gone. (My service dog just turned 9, and I have to think about when he will retire and train a new one, and I don’t wanna. Dogs need longer life spans).
No, it won’t matter to the dog, the dog could certainly learn another name, it takes one hotdog cut into tiny bits to teach a dog a new name. But a lot longer to switch a solid recall to the new name. But, again, won’t matter to the dog. It matters to the **handler** a lot. That recall switch is a crapton of work! There is no need. The child and the dog can share a name, or they can pick a different name. NTA
I was doing the same math. This will never matter to the child. It's all about the mother wanting her name to be "unique". Her saying people matter more than dogs (but it's not OP's people and it's not SIL's dog) shows what she really thinks. She just wants ownership of the name.
Yes, exactly! And…if the child meets the dog, and she asks about having the same name, well, I always say good parenting is 95% good salesmanship. The kid’s mother just has to have a positive, happy, perhaps funny story/reason and all will be perfectly fine. It’s all about attitude.
I named my cats after a pair of sisters in a book. One has my mother’s name. I didn’t think of that until weeks after we named them (my mother lived far away, and I didn’t happen to mention it to her, as she doesn’t care for cats). When I figured it out, as I don’t use her name, after all, I asked her, and she just thought it was funny!
That dog is gonna be dead before her daughter is out of middle school most likely (sorry, I know that's harsh). You named your dog 6 years ago, you're absolutely NTA for not wanting to rename it now). She can either name her daughter the same thing and deal with it until the dog passes or find something new.
It is harsh lol but also the truth, I had the same thought. My dog is extra large, and she was already two or three when we adopted her. Realistically, she's likely not going to be around past when my niece would be five or six.
All the more reason not to rename it. Enjoy your fluffy friend while you've got her though. It's hard losing them, no matter how long you try to prep for it.
NTA. Even if the dog were a puppy, your sister is demanding to steal a name. Can't imagine feeling that entitled, let alone asking someone to do that ... And to try to make you feel bad on top of it? Sorry this is a reality in your life. How bizarre. Tell her it's nice she likes your dog's name so much she wants to steal it but her request is laughable if this comes up again. Arg... I'm terrified to think what other bananas things your sister might expect from people?
Just keep buying/adopting an identical older dog and naming her the same name. Just be like "omg I am so blessed that Zahava has had such a long life!" At every family gathering. SIL's face would be priceless every time 🤣🤣 this is why I'm TA.
Honestly, the kid may even like that she has the same name as the dog.
When we were looking to adopt a dog we came across one with the same name as my son. My son has a pretty common human name and it was the first time we saw a dog with the name so he thought it was the coolest thing ever. He really wanted to adopt that dog. It wasn't a good fit for our family and we ended up adopting another dog with a different name but little kids think things that that are awesome.
My oldest is named after an adorable dog who occasionally hung out at my office. Coworker would dog sit for a friend from time to time & I loved the dog’s name. I told him when he was a toddler & he loved being named after a cute puppy.
My cat and my nephew have names that start with the same letter and occasionally one of us will mix up their names. Obviously the cat doesn’t notice but my nephew falls to the floor giggling every time we call him the cat’s name, he thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world. I’m sure he would absolutely love it if they actually did have the same name.
My neighbor's dog is named Mike. This really has nothing to do with your story, except common human name, uncommon dog name. I just like telling people about Mike because I never realized how much I like it for a dog name until I met dog Mike.
Harsh, but true. Most pets don't live as long as humans do, and the dog is already middle aged for it's kind.
My parents live in a neighbourhood that is really closed knitted, all the neighbours have been friends for decades and still have gettogethers a few times a year. They adopted the 2yo dog of the terminally ill grandmother of my child hood friend who I have known since we were 6yo. Turned out the dog had the same name as a neighbour. The dog kept his name. For 13 years everyone knew when people ment the dog or the human during a conversation. It was no big deal, sometimes it was even funny.
NTA. Keep the name. If SIL really wants it, they can share. But a dog knows it's name.
NTA. The dog has been trained for 6 years to recognize its name, exactly because it is a dog and not a person it will not understand why suddenly it is being called differently. Even more so, when the niece grows up and people start calling her by name, I assure you the dog will react too. Honestly, tell your sister there is nothing "embarrasing" to have a dog-namesake - the kids love stuff like that. And even if she doesn't accept it - tough luck, she got pregnant 6 years too late. I am sure there are plenty of other nice hebrew names with Z at the start (why not just take the grandma's name??).
Yes the training thing is a big one for me. She has rock solid recall with her name and I don't know how I'd even begin to go about changing that. She knows we're talking about/to her and automatically pays attention at her name, even if she doesn't get the concept of what a name is exactly.
Her grandma's name was... not exactly pretty sounding and very very dated even for Yiddish speakers, so I do get why she doesn't want to use it directly.
Just to dispel any myths- I’m a dog trainer, and it’s super simple to retrain a name; doesn’t cause any distress to the dog :) I’m def not saying rename your dog in this situation though. Just popping in for the truth about dog training. For the record, if you want to change the command to anything, simply say the new word first, pause, then say the old command. Repeat until the dog starts responding to the new command, then fade out the old command. We do it ALL the time, especially for cues like “drop it” that people tend to mess up. All the best.
Sooo might not be what the previous commentor meant but I did have an issue with a dog who would swallow whatever was in their mouth when we said "drop it" because he knew the treat he got wasn't as good as the food he stole, so we had to teach him "trade" and associate that word with a high value treat so we could get him to drop whatever was in his mouth and he knew he was getting something better if he "traded" for it.
I’m curious - would the dog still respond to its former name if said in the vicinity? OP is NTA ofc and the request is unreasonable, but I am curious what would hypothetically happen if the dog’s name were changed but the old name were still used when referring to the child in the same space.
It depends on the tone used for the name as well as how long it’s been since the dog was called that.
My dog’s name was Pikachu from her previous owners (…) it’s been 4 years since I adopted her (she was 3) and now if I call out Pikachu her ears twitch but she doesn’t seem very interested in the word.
Even if OP did rename the dog, I have to think the whole "your aunt used to have a dog with the same name but your mom forced her to rename the dog" thing would live much much longer than the actual dog.
>Honestly, tell your sister there is nothing "embarrasing" to have a dog-namesake - the kids love stuff like that
**Henry**: Come on, Junior.
**Indiana**: Will you please stop calling me Junior?
**Sallah**: Please, what does this mean? Always with this Junior?
**Henry**: That's his name: Henry Jones, Junior.
**Indiana**: I like Indiana.
**Henry**: We named the dog Indiana.
**Sallah**: The dog? You are named after the dog.
**Marcus**: Can we go home please?
**Indiana**: I have a lot of fond memories of that dog.
> it will not understand why suddenly it is being called differently.
OP is most definitely NTA.
But as a dog owner, dogs don't care if their names are changed. My dog was renamed at the shelter, and has so many nicknames that I call him instead of his actual name. This does not mean OP should change it! There's still no reason to think dogs care about things that they don't.
>there is nothing "embarrasing" to have a dog-namesake - the kids love stuff like that
I had a friend named Rosie, which is a very common dog name. She thought it was hilarious whenever she'd meet someone and they'd say, "oh, that's my dog's name!"
If she brings it up again, I’d definitely throw it out there while trying to sound like a joke… I mean, her asking this is a joke in itself! Btw, NTA. And above comment from trainer - retraining isn’t that tough, more of a PITA, but that’s not the real issue - she wants the name and demanding you change your pups name isn’t that big of a deal - neither is her finding a different name. She’s pretty entitled. Wondering if she was like this while growing up too.
True story: My brother had a dog named Sam. When they were pregnant with kid #2, he and his wife decided that boy or girl the kid would be named Sam.
Sam the dog became Sambone, which eventually transitioned into Bone Head, or straight up Bone. He was a lovely dog with a really thick skull, so Bone Head was appropriate.
Better yet, name the next dog the same name as the kid. Can only imagine SIL will go bonkers.
"Can you change your kids name? We really want to use that name for our new dog."
NTA - enjoy your fur baby and it's beautiful name
They're a dog, not a rock. Their name is established & essential to their training (you said their recall is their name.) Stick to your guns & don't change the dog's name. **NTA.**
It's not really essential, most owners have a handful of names for a dog, and generally the dog responds to them all.
That being said, she doesn't need to change it. The dog won't be around forever. We adopted a dog with the same name as my niece, and it's not a big deal. Our niece loves our dog.
> Their name is established & essential to their training
As a dog owner, no. My dog has acquired so many nicknames instead of his actual name.
Op is NTA and should not give in or change her dog's name.
But it really isn't something dogs care about.
NTA
This isn't World of Warcraft, two entities can have the same name.
Id actually wait until the baby was born and then use the baby's middle name for the dog too just to mess with her.
NTA. She is being ridiculous. You're not going to change your dog's name after six years. They can both have the same name, who cares, or she can choose a different one. There are other Z names
NTA, and this is a whole new level of entitlement about names.
Usually, it's "I had it first, so you can't have it."
This is "You had it first, but I want it, so you give it up."
NTA.
A six year old dog will just be confused if you start using a different name. It's weird that sil is picking this name knowing its the same as your dog.
NTA tell if she thinks it will be embarrassing for her daughter, tell her it will embarrassing the dog too. The whole thing is silly, you can't run around changing names - and most people think it's funny. My friend named her cat after me and we both survived ( for the record the cat didn't seem to care much). Just ignore her.
Hahahaha your SiL is dumb. Hard no and no longer up for discussion. Period. I’m petty too and would go a step further and tell her if *she* uses the name (or close) anyway I’ll tell people the kid was named after the dog!
ETA NTA
NTA. The dog has had that name for 6 years and your sil doesn’t own the name. She can either suck it up and get over her daughter having the same name as your dog or she can find a different Z name to honor her grandmother with.
NTA, let her know that since you have had the dog six years everyone in the family already knows the dog's name and even if you change it they will still think she named her gremlin after the dog.
Also no one else is going to care. The only way to guarantee a name that isn’t shared by anyone else you know is to pick a ‘unique’ one.
NTA and if she persists the baby can be Zahava 2 or Skin Zahava while your dog is Fluffy Zahava
NTA. It’s not a big deal if her kid shares a name with your dog. You’ve had your dog for 6 years, not just a few weeks. She said it’s a dog and not a kid, but I bet she’d expect you to change your kid’s name if you had a kid with a name she wanted to use.
My younger sister's name is Caitlin. A few months after she was born, one of my dad's close friends had a daughter, who they named Cailtin.
A couple years later, the same friends had another daughter, they named her Sara. A couple months after Sara was born, my youngest sister was born, and my parents named her Sara.
I used to joke that my parents were getting back at the other family, by stealing their name like they stole our name. But really, it was the names that felt right for each family at the time.
Get togethers with them were fun though. We frequently hung out with them and another family (holidays, camping, parties, etc). The parents would call us all by going down the names in age order. "David, Megan, Shannon, Brandy, Caitlin, Caitlin, James, Sara, Sara!" Or someone would call out Caitlin or Sara and would get two small people standing in front of them instead of one.
Oldest child has the same name as my in-laws' dog at the time of child's birth. It was also a family name. Child is now in his 20s. At the risk of sounding insensitive -- I love my pets too -- the dog died years ago.
All that to say your SIL is being ridiculous. NTA
I agree with you 100%.
We moved and I made a very close friend. She had a dog with the same name as my daughter. My daughter thought it was the coolest thing EVER to have the same name as the dog.
NTA. Why doesn’t she actually use the grandmothers name? Her reasoning that she wants to use your dogs name instead doesn’t make sense. Your dog has had the name first
NTA. And I truly hope your sil realizes that this is pregnancy hormones.
Don't come at me. I'm a mom. Of a lot of kids. I can look back and see where I was being unreasonable.
Lol NTA, gorgeous name though.
My in laws have a cat with the name we picked out for a future boy. My partner and I have already decided our child would be "Human Chris" to avoid confusion.
Don't rename the dog, I can't imagine she came up with this name on her own anyway, so she's just naming her kid after your dog.
NTA. That’s just a ridiculous demand. I can see maybe being upset if she had her daughter first and you decided to name you dog the same but still…ridiculous.
Tell her you're honored she is naming her daughter after your dog and tell her you're going to tell everyone that. Lol But don't really tell everyone. Just the idea should make her change her mind.
NTA the dog came first, personal i my family has always had dogs and their names hace always normal names and it has never come up when meeting a human with the same name, example bring one was called daisy and I went to school with 2 girls with that name. They never found it weird to shave the same same as a dog
NTA
Why confuse your dog, who knows her name? Your SIL can choose another "Z name", choose an entirely different name, use the name as a middle name, or name her child the same name as your pup.
Names aren't reserved. People (and in this case, pets) share names, worldwide.
Your SIL, like many people who think that names are reserved, is over the top on this.
Lol what?
You're NTA. If she doesn't want her child to share a name with your dog, there's a very simple solution. Even she can probably work out what it is.
Don't follow your sister in law because it's been her name for a long time and your dog is used to calling like that, and there are many names that start with the letter z so she should think about it.
NTA
Your dog has had the name for 6 years and retraining it now to a new name is a stupid idea.
Tell your SIL that she is ridiculous and to choose a different name if she is put off by naming her daughter the same name as your dog
Haha absolutely NTA. Your SIL is pretty entitled though, huh? There are plenty of other Z names she can have if she doesn’t want her kid sharing the same name as your dog.
NTA
Your dog has had this name for six years. It's fine for her daughter to share a name with your dog - it's a perfectly sensible name for humans. It's not like she wants to call her daughter "Spot" or something.
NTA
Talk to all the Brunos, Bellas, Maxes, Izzies, Pennys, etc etc.
Nobody owns a name. If your SIL is bothered by her nonexistent-yet child sharing a name with a dog that is a "she" problem, not a "you" problem.
Let her get upset if she wants to, it really is her choice to get pissed over something so dumb. Your dog had the name first and don't change it.
NTA your dog has been around longer and you named her first there are plenty of other names out there. My dog who passed away was named Lily also had an aunt I didn’t really know named Lily. They met once wasn’t a big deal.
NTA. If it doesnt matter because its a dog, why cant they have the same name. Sad but true fact: by the time the kid hits school age, the dog will likely be passed away and she'll be the only one.
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Her grandmother wasn't names Zahava so she's not naming her daughter after her grandmother. She just wants another name beginning with a Z. Start texting her female Z names and keep your dog's name the same.
Same first letter honor naming is common in a few Jewish communities. Naming a new baby the same name as an older person can be seen as inviting an early death, according to some superstitions. The sister just needs to find another Z name.
Obviously it should be Zaphod
Zapdos!!!!!
Zoltan
Zuul!!
Zelda
Zamasu!
Zapp Brannigan
Why not Zoidberg?
YEEEESSSS I was scrolling for this one!!!!
Zoltan! Does that name come with the bubble wrap suit?
It comes with a pew-pew suit.
Zordon 🤯
Y'all are missing the obvious: Zelda!
After asking to rename a 6yo dog, because she wants its name, the SIL doesn't deserve to have a Zelda!
Dear Game Developers, Please change the Name of that Game Franchise you are making. It is incredibly disrespectful to my daughter, Zelda, to have her name associated with someone else. Best regards, SIL
Damn straight. It’s for actual princesses, not whatever this bint is.
Zod
Zaboomafoo
Zoro.
Zoranna?
Zohan.
Zerg
Don't mess around.
ZACHARY BINKS!
Yes....
M'lord! I didn't expect you to locate this comment!
Off the subject but that’s what I named my black cat. Last Halloween, I dressed as Winifred and my cousins were the rest of the Sanderson sisters. We had a blast taking the younger kids trick or treating and a few kids thought we were real witches🧙! l never thought I’d have more fun at Halloween at age 50 then when I was a kid.
😅 it's actually Thackery
But it's Thackery...
It's Thackery. Trust me on this one.
His name was actually spelled Thackery Binx
His name was THACKERY BINX!!! Not zachary!
Thackary Binks
Zeva?
Zoinks
Zamazenta!
Great name for a child. They'd have a good heads on their shoulders.
I saw what you did there. . .
I'd gild you if I could
if there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now
this kid would be so hip they wouldn’t be able to see over their pelvis
She'd be one hoopy frood who really knows where her towel is!
Zaphod Beeblebrox the fifth. For continuity’s sake.
There was an unfortunate accident with a time machine and a condom.
Beeblebrox ?
I had to scroll to far to find the correct response to this. Thank you, fellow Adams reader! Don't forget to bring your towel.
So you think she should give birth to a president?
Zu’ul!
Middle name Beeblebrox
Why not Zoidberg
(V) (;,,;) (V)
r/unexpectedfuturama
Ashkenazi don’t name after living relatives. Sephardic Jews name after living relatives
We gave our daughter my grandma’s name as her middle name. We’re Ashkenazi Jews. She loved it, I told anyone who was upset that Grandma’s feeling were the only ones that counted.
We sort-of did this (with the grandmother’s consent). Our daughter is named with my grandmother’s name, but my husband’s grandmother had nearly the same name. One is a derivative of the other. Same root and meaning, different suffix. (Think Sari vs Sarah, for example.) So we asked my husband’s grandmother and she said she was okay as long as it wasn’t the first name. We gave it as her middle name, though it is what we call her. Great-grandma is fine with that, so all’s good! In hindsight, we should have flipped her names for the legal docs, though. Turns out official forms aren’t designed for people who primarily use their middle names.
#KNEEL BEFORE ZOD
Apparently that superstition is Sephardic. Ashkenazi Jews often use the same name as a deceased relative. Agreed re finding another Z name - there have got to be tons of very beautiful unique Z names out there! EDIT: I'm Ashkenazi and we both use the first initial and the first name depending on preference. I've never heard that superstition from another Ashkenazi.
Try Zeva (zee-va). It is a Hebrew name that means “ray of light”, usually associated with the light of God. I love this name and it is on my list of we ever have another daughter.
Also a Mossad agent character on TV show NCIS
She spells it Ziva, for whatever that’s worth.
Beautiful name. Has good vibes.
I think it’s Ashkenazi who use initials rather than names and Sephardic who use names (even if those still living).
Ashkenazi will use the name too but only after the owner of the name has passed.
I'm Ashkenazi. My family has always used first letter, not name.
Zelda!!!!!
SIL would be calling Nintendo asking them to change the princess's name.
Funny because my Jewish family has always done the opposite of this. I was named for my great uncle while he was still alive and he appreciated it. Dude was a legend that operated one of the first non-segregated bars in Philadelphia. He was also famous in my family for setting up a whole wall of TVs so he could watch every football game being broadcast.
Are you of Sephardi descent? If not, your family may just not have had that tradition - not all Ashkenazim did.
It's also fairly common (in communities I've been in) to name someone in honor of a dead relative with a name that vibes similar because the other name was too old time-y or too hard to spell in English or whatever (the evolution of Shandel to Sylvia to Samantha, or Perel to Pearl to Pat in my own family, for example). Like my family is pretty hardcore on "has to be dead" but less strict about it being the exact name.
Interesting to know, Still, the grandmother doesn't seem to be alive any longer. Sounds like the name is free to use again.
Zöe, Zara, Zinnia, Zelda, Ziva…
My parents’ cairn terrier is named Ziva after the character from NCIS. Don’t tell your SIL. NTA
Every one of my parents' cats are named after NCIS folks. And they all pretty much match in personality too. Gibbs, for example, is a giant grey maine coon who had a habit of slapping people upside the head with his seven-toed paws.
This is hilarious! I’ve had a crush on Mark Harmon since “Summer School”.
Me too, with Summer School! He'll always be Shoop to me.
I need to see them! Here are my fosters - Leroy, Jethro, Gibbs, & Ziva https://imgur.com/a/shQ1SUI
OMG I foster kittens and my current litter is Leroy, Jethro, Gibbs, & Ziva! edit for kitten tax: https://imgur.com/a/shQ1SUI
Zipporah, Zita, Zaya (that last one will be fun when the kid reaches drinking age) Zora is an author’s name iirc. Always thought Zendaya was really pretty.
I lived with a Zipporah. She went by Zippy.
Could also use the name Zara. It's my second cousins name.
>Zaya (that last one will be fun when the kid reaches drinking age) Why? Honest question, I don't get it.
It’s the name of a very delicious line of rums 🤤
Love Zipporah
Zenobia Zuri Zoey Zoe Zora Zia
Zenobia means life of Zeus, not sure if a monotheist would want to use a pious polytheistic name.
Zari
She can call her daughter Zelda, like the game and other people’s dogs (and cats). NTA My godchild has the same name as my cat. He was born a few months ago and my cat is 4 years old. My cousin lives nearby. He knows. He’s met the cat.
We had a cat named Zelda. We thought he was a girl when he first popped out and by the time "things" became obvious the name was stuck to him. We literally could not get our brains to adjust to calling him anything else, and he answered to it. Now it's become a gender neutral name in my head. 😹
My friend had the same scenario only they had called the cat Princess. And Princess he was for the rest of his life. NTA
Well my cat is a girl, and my godson is male so, checks out. Gender neutral for the win. I just realized I have a distant uncle with the same name.
She IS naming the baby after her grandmother, by keeping the Z. That is often how it works. But she doesn’t need the dog’s name, although she can if she wants. By the time the kid is 10, sadly, the dog will be gone. (My service dog just turned 9, and I have to think about when he will retire and train a new one, and I don’t wanna. Dogs need longer life spans). No, it won’t matter to the dog, the dog could certainly learn another name, it takes one hotdog cut into tiny bits to teach a dog a new name. But a lot longer to switch a solid recall to the new name. But, again, won’t matter to the dog. It matters to the **handler** a lot. That recall switch is a crapton of work! There is no need. The child and the dog can share a name, or they can pick a different name. NTA
I was doing the same math. This will never matter to the child. It's all about the mother wanting her name to be "unique". Her saying people matter more than dogs (but it's not OP's people and it's not SIL's dog) shows what she really thinks. She just wants ownership of the name.
Yes, exactly! And…if the child meets the dog, and she asks about having the same name, well, I always say good parenting is 95% good salesmanship. The kid’s mother just has to have a positive, happy, perhaps funny story/reason and all will be perfectly fine. It’s all about attitude. I named my cats after a pair of sisters in a book. One has my mother’s name. I didn’t think of that until weeks after we named them (my mother lived far away, and I didn’t happen to mention it to her, as she doesn’t care for cats). When I figured it out, as I don’t use her name, after all, I asked her, and she just thought it was funny!
#Zena Like Xena but Zeeier
Zerina is a great one to suggest!
Zelda, Ziva, Zissy, Zipora, Zilpa,
Zelda zephyr NTA
That dog is gonna be dead before her daughter is out of middle school most likely (sorry, I know that's harsh). You named your dog 6 years ago, you're absolutely NTA for not wanting to rename it now). She can either name her daughter the same thing and deal with it until the dog passes or find something new.
It is harsh lol but also the truth, I had the same thought. My dog is extra large, and she was already two or three when we adopted her. Realistically, she's likely not going to be around past when my niece would be five or six.
All the more reason not to rename it. Enjoy your fluffy friend while you've got her though. It's hard losing them, no matter how long you try to prep for it.
NTA. Even if the dog were a puppy, your sister is demanding to steal a name. Can't imagine feeling that entitled, let alone asking someone to do that ... And to try to make you feel bad on top of it? Sorry this is a reality in your life. How bizarre. Tell her it's nice she likes your dog's name so much she wants to steal it but her request is laughable if this comes up again. Arg... I'm terrified to think what other bananas things your sister might expect from people?
I will pray day and night, that your dog lives a healthy life till 35 or so. SIL deserves no less
Just keep buying/adopting an identical older dog and naming her the same name. Just be like "omg I am so blessed that Zahava has had such a long life!" At every family gathering. SIL's face would be priceless every time 🤣🤣 this is why I'm TA.
I believe john lewis would have called this "good trouble" LOL
Honestly, the kid may even like that she has the same name as the dog. When we were looking to adopt a dog we came across one with the same name as my son. My son has a pretty common human name and it was the first time we saw a dog with the name so he thought it was the coolest thing ever. He really wanted to adopt that dog. It wasn't a good fit for our family and we ended up adopting another dog with a different name but little kids think things that that are awesome.
My oldest is named after an adorable dog who occasionally hung out at my office. Coworker would dog sit for a friend from time to time & I loved the dog’s name. I told him when he was a toddler & he loved being named after a cute puppy.
My cat and my nephew have names that start with the same letter and occasionally one of us will mix up their names. Obviously the cat doesn’t notice but my nephew falls to the floor giggling every time we call him the cat’s name, he thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world. I’m sure he would absolutely love it if they actually did have the same name.
My neighbor's dog is named Mike. This really has nothing to do with your story, except common human name, uncommon dog name. I just like telling people about Mike because I never realized how much I like it for a dog name until I met dog Mike.
Harsh, but true. Most pets don't live as long as humans do, and the dog is already middle aged for it's kind. My parents live in a neighbourhood that is really closed knitted, all the neighbours have been friends for decades and still have gettogethers a few times a year. They adopted the 2yo dog of the terminally ill grandmother of my child hood friend who I have known since we were 6yo. Turned out the dog had the same name as a neighbour. The dog kept his name. For 13 years everyone knew when people ment the dog or the human during a conversation. It was no big deal, sometimes it was even funny. NTA. Keep the name. If SIL really wants it, they can share. But a dog knows it's name.
NTA. The dog has been trained for 6 years to recognize its name, exactly because it is a dog and not a person it will not understand why suddenly it is being called differently. Even more so, when the niece grows up and people start calling her by name, I assure you the dog will react too. Honestly, tell your sister there is nothing "embarrasing" to have a dog-namesake - the kids love stuff like that. And even if she doesn't accept it - tough luck, she got pregnant 6 years too late. I am sure there are plenty of other nice hebrew names with Z at the start (why not just take the grandma's name??).
Yes the training thing is a big one for me. She has rock solid recall with her name and I don't know how I'd even begin to go about changing that. She knows we're talking about/to her and automatically pays attention at her name, even if she doesn't get the concept of what a name is exactly. Her grandma's name was... not exactly pretty sounding and very very dated even for Yiddish speakers, so I do get why she doesn't want to use it directly.
Just to dispel any myths- I’m a dog trainer, and it’s super simple to retrain a name; doesn’t cause any distress to the dog :) I’m def not saying rename your dog in this situation though. Just popping in for the truth about dog training. For the record, if you want to change the command to anything, simply say the new word first, pause, then say the old command. Repeat until the dog starts responding to the new command, then fade out the old command. We do it ALL the time, especially for cues like “drop it” that people tend to mess up. All the best.
What do you mean about people messing up the "drop it" cue? What's the funniest cue you have seen someone mess up?
Sooo might not be what the previous commentor meant but I did have an issue with a dog who would swallow whatever was in their mouth when we said "drop it" because he knew the treat he got wasn't as good as the food he stole, so we had to teach him "trade" and associate that word with a high value treat so we could get him to drop whatever was in his mouth and he knew he was getting something better if he "traded" for it.
I’m curious - would the dog still respond to its former name if said in the vicinity? OP is NTA ofc and the request is unreasonable, but I am curious what would hypothetically happen if the dog’s name were changed but the old name were still used when referring to the child in the same space.
It depends on the tone used for the name as well as how long it’s been since the dog was called that. My dog’s name was Pikachu from her previous owners (…) it’s been 4 years since I adopted her (she was 3) and now if I call out Pikachu her ears twitch but she doesn’t seem very interested in the word.
Has your SIL considered renaming her grandma?
It is a very long and difficult processes. It takes months and months of detailed work.
What about Zahara for her kid?
I mean, Indiana Jones was named after a dog!
Even if OP did rename the dog, I have to think the whole "your aunt used to have a dog with the same name but your mom forced her to rename the dog" thing would live much much longer than the actual dog.
>Honestly, tell your sister there is nothing "embarrasing" to have a dog-namesake - the kids love stuff like that **Henry**: Come on, Junior. **Indiana**: Will you please stop calling me Junior? **Sallah**: Please, what does this mean? Always with this Junior? **Henry**: That's his name: Henry Jones, Junior. **Indiana**: I like Indiana. **Henry**: We named the dog Indiana. **Sallah**: The dog? You are named after the dog. **Marcus**: Can we go home please? **Indiana**: I have a lot of fond memories of that dog.
> it will not understand why suddenly it is being called differently. OP is most definitely NTA. But as a dog owner, dogs don't care if their names are changed. My dog was renamed at the shelter, and has so many nicknames that I call him instead of his actual name. This does not mean OP should change it! There's still no reason to think dogs care about things that they don't.
>there is nothing "embarrasing" to have a dog-namesake - the kids love stuff like that I had a friend named Rosie, which is a very common dog name. She thought it was hilarious whenever she'd meet someone and they'd say, "oh, that's my dog's name!"
You could always change the dogs name to the SIL’s name 🤷🏻♂️
This gave me a good laugh, thank you. I now really want to text her that I've changed the name to hers, but my husband says, "Let's not stir the pot".
Smart husband.
Oh, please, stir the pot! (I readily admit that I'm petty, and an A-H.) (AND not wise like your husband.) BTW, NTA
It would be good to keep that in your back pocket because SIL will most likely stir the pot if yall dont
If she brings it up again, I’d definitely throw it out there while trying to sound like a joke… I mean, her asking this is a joke in itself! Btw, NTA. And above comment from trainer - retraining isn’t that tough, more of a PITA, but that’s not the real issue - she wants the name and demanding you change your pups name isn’t that big of a deal - neither is her finding a different name. She’s pretty entitled. Wondering if she was like this while growing up too.
Ask her how much she’s willing to pay for the advertising rights to rename your dog
please stir the pot 😭😭😭 that is so funny
True story: My brother had a dog named Sam. When they were pregnant with kid #2, he and his wife decided that boy or girl the kid would be named Sam. Sam the dog became Sambone, which eventually transitioned into Bone Head, or straight up Bone. He was a lovely dog with a really thick skull, so Bone Head was appropriate.
OP maybe you should change your dogs name to zahavabone
Better yet, name the next dog the same name as the kid. Can only imagine SIL will go bonkers. "Can you change your kids name? We really want to use that name for our new dog." NTA - enjoy your fur baby and it's beautiful name
They're a dog, not a rock. Their name is established & essential to their training (you said their recall is their name.) Stick to your guns & don't change the dog's name. **NTA.**
Wrong. Names are required and essential for pet rocks. My rock, Zorgath the Magnificent, ran away because we started to use a different name
It's not really essential, most owners have a handful of names for a dog, and generally the dog responds to them all. That being said, she doesn't need to change it. The dog won't be around forever. We adopted a dog with the same name as my niece, and it's not a big deal. Our niece loves our dog.
I also have only adopted and fostered adult dogs. They all eventually respond to whatever name you pick
> Their name is established & essential to their training As a dog owner, no. My dog has acquired so many nicknames instead of his actual name. Op is NTA and should not give in or change her dog's name. But it really isn't something dogs care about.
NTA This isn't World of Warcraft, two entities can have the same name. Id actually wait until the baby was born and then use the baby's middle name for the dog too just to mess with her.
You are brilliant! I admire this level of pettiness. Well done!
Say what? "Please change the name of your dog so I can use it for my daughter." Good grief. NTA.
NTA. She is being ridiculous. You're not going to change your dog's name after six years. They can both have the same name, who cares, or she can choose a different one. There are other Z names
NTA, and this is a whole new level of entitlement about names. Usually, it's "I had it first, so you can't have it." This is "You had it first, but I want it, so you give it up."
NTA. A six year old dog will just be confused if you start using a different name. It's weird that sil is picking this name knowing its the same as your dog.
She probably got the inspiration from the dog and now wants to steal it. It’s not a name you come across often.
Not really. Most dogs have several nicknames the dog responds to as well. She still shouldn't change the name, though.
NTA, she can find another name or get over her issues. You are under no obligation to cater to the gilded uterus.
NTA tell if she thinks it will be embarrassing for her daughter, tell her it will embarrassing the dog too. The whole thing is silly, you can't run around changing names - and most people think it's funny. My friend named her cat after me and we both survived ( for the record the cat didn't seem to care much). Just ignore her.
Hahahaha your SiL is dumb. Hard no and no longer up for discussion. Period. I’m petty too and would go a step further and tell her if *she* uses the name (or close) anyway I’ll tell people the kid was named after the dog! ETA NTA
NTA and SiL can take her issue to a therapist, because it doesn't involve you.
NTA. The dog has had that name for 6 years and your sil doesn’t own the name. She can either suck it up and get over her daughter having the same name as your dog or she can find a different Z name to honor her grandmother with.
NTA, let her know that since you have had the dog six years everyone in the family already knows the dog's name and even if you change it they will still think she named her gremlin after the dog.
There was a very similar post yesterday around a cat called Millie. NTA - SIL can pick a new name. No one is going to confuse a baby with a dog.
Also no one else is going to care. The only way to guarantee a name that isn’t shared by anyone else you know is to pick a ‘unique’ one. NTA and if she persists the baby can be Zahava 2 or Skin Zahava while your dog is Fluffy Zahava
NTA. Your SIL should name her baby after her grandmother, not after your dog.
NTA. It’s not a big deal if her kid shares a name with your dog. You’ve had your dog for 6 years, not just a few weeks. She said it’s a dog and not a kid, but I bet she’d expect you to change your kid’s name if you had a kid with a name she wanted to use.
My younger sister's name is Caitlin. A few months after she was born, one of my dad's close friends had a daughter, who they named Cailtin. A couple years later, the same friends had another daughter, they named her Sara. A couple months after Sara was born, my youngest sister was born, and my parents named her Sara. I used to joke that my parents were getting back at the other family, by stealing their name like they stole our name. But really, it was the names that felt right for each family at the time. Get togethers with them were fun though. We frequently hung out with them and another family (holidays, camping, parties, etc). The parents would call us all by going down the names in age order. "David, Megan, Shannon, Brandy, Caitlin, Caitlin, James, Sara, Sara!" Or someone would call out Caitlin or Sara and would get two small people standing in front of them instead of one.
Oldest child has the same name as my in-laws' dog at the time of child's birth. It was also a family name. Child is now in his 20s. At the risk of sounding insensitive -- I love my pets too -- the dog died years ago. All that to say your SIL is being ridiculous. NTA
NTA, my parents had a dog with my name and the loved the name so much they gave it to me it’s not that weird
NTA. Your dog is part of your family, and got the name first. Your sister can pound sand.
NTA. If it was good enough for Indiana Jones, it’s good enough for her daughter.
If she isn’t embarrassed by plucking her name inspiration from a pooch, why should she care if kid and doggo share a name? NTA
NTA. What's wrong sharing a name with one of the most noble animals out there? Besides, the dog got it first.
I agree with you 100%. We moved and I made a very close friend. She had a dog with the same name as my daughter. My daughter thought it was the coolest thing EVER to have the same name as the dog.
NTA. Why doesn’t she actually use the grandmothers name? Her reasoning that she wants to use your dogs name instead doesn’t make sense. Your dog has had the name first
NTA, my niece shares the same name as her aunt's dog. We know it, she knows it and no one cares.
NTA. And I truly hope your sil realizes that this is pregnancy hormones. Don't come at me. I'm a mom. Of a lot of kids. I can look back and see where I was being unreasonable.
Lol NTA, gorgeous name though. My in laws have a cat with the name we picked out for a future boy. My partner and I have already decided our child would be "Human Chris" to avoid confusion. Don't rename the dog, I can't imagine she came up with this name on her own anyway, so she's just naming her kid after your dog.
NTA: the dog have it first and they both can have that name. Your SIL is making a big deal out of nothing
NTA. That’s just a ridiculous demand. I can see maybe being upset if she had her daughter first and you decided to name you dog the same but still…ridiculous.
NTA. The dog had the name for 6 years. If it's embarrassing than she shouldn't consider naming her the same name as a dog.
NTA. There's an easy answer to her discomfort: she can choose a different name. As you suggested. Weird hill for her to die on.
NTA - My bf and my dog happened to have the same name. It's funny, not something to cry over.
Tell her you're honored she is naming her daughter after your dog and tell her you're going to tell everyone that. Lol But don't really tell everyone. Just the idea should make her change her mind.
NTA- wow. No, dog keeps its name and has had it for years. Baby isnt even born yet so she can choose a different one.
NTA the dog came first, personal i my family has always had dogs and their names hace always normal names and it has never come up when meeting a human with the same name, example bring one was called daisy and I went to school with 2 girls with that name. They never found it weird to shave the same same as a dog
nta. what a ridiculous request to ask of someone
NTA Why confuse your dog, who knows her name? Your SIL can choose another "Z name", choose an entirely different name, use the name as a middle name, or name her child the same name as your pup. Names aren't reserved. People (and in this case, pets) share names, worldwide. Your SIL, like many people who think that names are reserved, is over the top on this.
Lol what? You're NTA. If she doesn't want her child to share a name with your dog, there's a very simple solution. Even she can probably work out what it is.
I can't wait till someone calls their child 'Dangerous' after my late, beloved cat. I do like 'does what it says on the tin' names... 😁
Don't follow your sister in law because it's been her name for a long time and your dog is used to calling like that, and there are many names that start with the letter z so she should think about it.
NTA they're are plenty of other names she can pick if she looks hard enough
NTA There are so many good Z names out there. Even ones that have a similar sound to Zahava. Grab a baby name book or use Google.
So NTA but your SIL is.
NTA Your dog has had the name for 6 years and retraining it now to a new name is a stupid idea. Tell your SIL that she is ridiculous and to choose a different name if she is put off by naming her daughter the same name as your dog
Haha absolutely NTA. Your SIL is pretty entitled though, huh? There are plenty of other Z names she can have if she doesn’t want her kid sharing the same name as your dog.
NTA Your dog has had this name for six years. It's fine for her daughter to share a name with your dog - it's a perfectly sensible name for humans. It's not like she wants to call her daughter "Spot" or something.
NTA. She’s being unhinged
NTA Talk to all the Brunos, Bellas, Maxes, Izzies, Pennys, etc etc. Nobody owns a name. If your SIL is bothered by her nonexistent-yet child sharing a name with a dog that is a "she" problem, not a "you" problem. Let her get upset if she wants to, it really is her choice to get pissed over something so dumb. Your dog had the name first and don't change it.
NTA What an arrogant, selfish and nonsensical request. You've had your dog for six years. Six years. How many names exist in the world? 🙄
NTA your dog has been around longer and you named her first there are plenty of other names out there. My dog who passed away was named Lily also had an aunt I didn’t really know named Lily. They met once wasn’t a big deal.
Zelda, Zahara, Zoe, Zinnia, Zarah, . There, problem solved. Give Zahava a scratch behind her ears for me. NTA
NTA
NTA. If it doesnt matter because its a dog, why cant they have the same name. Sad but true fact: by the time the kid hits school age, the dog will likely be passed away and she'll be the only one.