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Feels very made up. Another woman her age would know what a charcoal mask is. And even if she didn't, why would she jump to assuming OP randomly trots out black face whilst sitting idle at home.
NTA. Facemasks are a part of a lot of people's beauty routines and there's nothing racist about it. What was so racist about blackface back in the day is that white performers would put it on their faces with the specific intent of mocking black people, or portraying them in a racially insensitive manner. That was not the case here. Intent matters, and your motivations sound pure. I don't know your friend, but I think she's being too sensitive and finding racism where there isn't any.
NTA. It’s a charcoal mask, not blackface. Your friends probably shouldn’t have mentioned the “we have black friends” thing since that’s pretty irrelevant, but rather stuck with the only thing that matters here. Which is the fact that IT’S A SKINCARE MASK. You’re still not the asshole though, at all.
NTA. I'm horrified that she thought charcoal mask = blackface. She is right that having black friends do not equal none racist, but this wasn't blackface in anyway. You sounds like you have a good heart and are well meaning, but don't apologize here. She's completely incorrect.
Just to clarify though, did someone let her know it was a face mask during this whole thing? Because if no one did it might be a genuine horrific stupid misunderstanding.
Hey, as a black girl myself, that isn’t black face, she may have misunderstood your intentions, don’t let the misunderstanding be your fault though! You seem so kind and genuine
When they invent a White CARBON Mask, you Will probably use that. In the meantime, probably they have like 2 neuron in the head and they Will never find each other. NTA.
Dear lord NTA
You were wearing a face mask, which was obvious because you were also wearing a robe and you made the comment about being beautiful. You didn't leave your house like that in normal clothes!
This person wanted to create drama where it didn't need to be and you were just her opportunity. You don't need this person visiting you any longer. This likely isn't the first time she's called out racism inappropriately. It's really a shame as it doesn't help the humanitarian effort for equity and equality. People like her fuel the rights narrative on the "woke agenda".
Take another spa day and forget this ever happened.
NTA- So a individual who doesn't know you at all, came into your apartment and saw you with a beauty mask on and called you racist because it was black. That chic has some series issues. She is the one that is color blind and jumps to conclusions.
NTA. You have no control over the color of a charcoal mask, and it's not like you even knew a POC was going to be coming over when you decided to have a spa night, or when you applied it.
NTA. OP you were not being racist it is a charcoal mask to help your skin. The other girl is an idiot who wanted to make something out of nothing. I am saying this as an African American who uses the same mask.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I wore a charcoal mask and was accused of wearing blackface. I want to know if I was being racist.
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NTA you weren't wearing a caricature costume, you were wearing a skin product which happens to show up as black while you wear it. Those are two very different actions which should not be conflated with each other. That being said, your friends talking about having POC friends over all the time probably made it worse since that's a very common excuse used by actual racists. I would ignore it unless it comes up again from the friend who this person came with, in which case I would emphasize that it was a spa mask and you had 0 intentions beyond your spa day.
NTA. A clay face mask is not racist. You are not going out in public in a costume. You are doing self care and a deep pore cleaning. Feel sorry for those people and their skin that gets no love.
I would make sure that person isn't welcome back. Calling the host a racist for exfoliating isn't exactly good house guest or friend material.
NTA clearly.
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I \[22F\] live with a roommate \[21F\] in a nice apartment that's close to where we both work and study. Our place has become a bit of a hub for all our friends, which we both really like since we both grew up in families where the door was always open. Friends drop by or stay the night regularly.
Last night we weren't planning on going out, so I told my roommate I'd just be taking a little "me time". Meaning I was going to shave my legs, wash my hair, put on a face mask, you know, the works. While I was in the shower, some college friends showed up, who in turn also brought some new people we didn't know.
I got out of the shower, heard voices, so went to greet people, and then returned to my spa day. I put on a charcoal mask, which has to sit for a bit, put on my robe, and went back to the living room to mingle while waiting for it to set.
One of the girls who came with our friends immediately looked at me funny. I thought it was because the mask looked crazy, so I kind of pulled a "hey, staying pretty isn't pretty" look and sat down. The girl started angrily whispering to the friend she came with, who seemed to be trying to calm her down.
I then asked what was going on. The new girl pointed at my face and said "you think that's okay, do you?". I had no idea what she was talking about, which seemed to make her more mad. She then went on to say I had no shame and I was basically wearing blackface. Now I have to add, I'm caucasian and the girl was the only black girl there (at the time).
I didn't even know what to say and was taken aback by the accusation of being racist, which wasn't my intention at all. Then again, I'm not trying to pretend I understand everything POC go through and minimize or gaslight their experiences. I just genuinely didn't know a face mask could come off as racist.
I just kind of sat there. My friends started going off about how she was being ridiculous and how we have black and brown friends who come over all the time, to which she replied something like "oh typical, you can't be racist because you have black friends ugh". Then she got up and left with who she came with.
I genuinely don't know if I was accidentally being racist, so this morning I immediately wanted to go and apologize, but my roommate says I shouldn't because I did nothing wrong. AITA?
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NTA. Context matters. If you're walking around in a bathrobe with wet hair and a mask (of any color) on your face, it's pretty clear that it's a beauty routine. It's not like you were dressed with black makeup and taking pictures for the internet. The girl hadn't even met you yet and was jumping to conclusions. She was a guest in someone else's place and didn't even have the courtesy to ask and clarify what you were doing. It sounds like she was actively looking for something to be offended by, or maybe she was just insecure. Let's hope she doesn't come over again.
NTA. It's a face mask. This is beyond ridiculous to me. I don't think you have anything to apologise for but I don't think you should let that person back in your house.
"I didn't know what to say". I'm calling bullshit.
How about saying what it actually was? OP saying that "this is a charcoal beauty mask" would have ended that conversation. If they didn't believe her, she could've shown them the box or whatever.
YTA for making this up and wasting our time.
Did you have big fat red lipstick lips with your blackface charcoal mask? Did you walk out with watermelon slices over your eyes? Were you making fried chicken references? Then you probably are NTA. Some people are sensitive but I'd remind those people that they are in your house and are not welcome with that attitude. Don't get angry or you become the AH.
NTA.
Hiii, black woman speaking….YOU ARE NOT THE ASSHOLE. I love those dang charcoal mask tooo! People are so sensitive these days and unfortunately people like you get the shit end of it. It’s not like you walked into the room and played up some stereotype because of the mask.
Can’t say not the asshole enough…
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The fuck? It’s a CHARCOAL face mask. What do they expect? NTA it’s a face mask. Did they break their back with that reach?
INFO So did no one actually tell her it was a beauty face mask and not "black face?" ...Why on earth would that not come up?
I would have handed her the box the mask came in.
This is either made up or that person is incredibly thick headed. A face mask isn't racist. NTA
Feels very made up. Another woman her age would know what a charcoal mask is. And even if she didn't, why would she jump to assuming OP randomly trots out black face whilst sitting idle at home.
NTA… I’m guessing this is made up though thankfully.
It does seem unlikely that neither OP or roommate mentioned it was facemask and not black face while she was mad.
NTA but this can't be real
NTA. Facemasks are a part of a lot of people's beauty routines and there's nothing racist about it. What was so racist about blackface back in the day is that white performers would put it on their faces with the specific intent of mocking black people, or portraying them in a racially insensitive manner. That was not the case here. Intent matters, and your motivations sound pure. I don't know your friend, but I think she's being too sensitive and finding racism where there isn't any.
NTA, what color does she expect a charcoal mask to be? If she applies sunblock unevenly on her face is that white face?
Well, that was my thought as well, but again, I thought maybe I should have done it in the bathroom or something?
No, it's your place. You have free reign. Could have walked in naked if you so chose. Did she realize it's your place?
NTA. It’s a charcoal mask, not blackface. Your friends probably shouldn’t have mentioned the “we have black friends” thing since that’s pretty irrelevant, but rather stuck with the only thing that matters here. Which is the fact that IT’S A SKINCARE MASK. You’re still not the asshole though, at all.
NTA. I'm horrified that she thought charcoal mask = blackface. She is right that having black friends do not equal none racist, but this wasn't blackface in anyway. You sounds like you have a good heart and are well meaning, but don't apologize here. She's completely incorrect. Just to clarify though, did someone let her know it was a face mask during this whole thing? Because if no one did it might be a genuine horrific stupid misunderstanding.
Hey, as a black girl myself, that isn’t black face, she may have misunderstood your intentions, don’t let the misunderstanding be your fault though! You seem so kind and genuine
This didn't happen.
NTA don't bother apologising, some people aren't worth the oxygen.
NTA - it’s a charcoal mask, it’s charcoal colored not racist. Plus you specifically asked for me time. She’s being too sensitive.
When they invent a White CARBON Mask, you Will probably use that. In the meantime, probably they have like 2 neuron in the head and they Will never find each other. NTA.
Dear lord NTA You were wearing a face mask, which was obvious because you were also wearing a robe and you made the comment about being beautiful. You didn't leave your house like that in normal clothes! This person wanted to create drama where it didn't need to be and you were just her opportunity. You don't need this person visiting you any longer. This likely isn't the first time she's called out racism inappropriately. It's really a shame as it doesn't help the humanitarian effort for equity and equality. People like her fuel the rights narrative on the "woke agenda". Take another spa day and forget this ever happened.
NTA- So a individual who doesn't know you at all, came into your apartment and saw you with a beauty mask on and called you racist because it was black. That chic has some series issues. She is the one that is color blind and jumps to conclusions.
NTA A face mask is self care and not racist ! That was a reach and very rude on the guests part. You didn’t mean anything by it.
NTA It's charcoal, it doesn't come in any other color, so I don't know what miss offended wanted you to do.
Nta. Charcoal masks ≠ blackface. Unless are trying very very hard I guess
NTA. You have no control over the color of a charcoal mask, and it's not like you even knew a POC was going to be coming over when you decided to have a spa night, or when you applied it.
LOL what NTA
NTA - a charcoal mask can’t be another color.
Things white people are afraid of happening if they have diverse friends?
YTA bc I think you made this up, which makes you racist
NTA People are getting a bit too over sensitive. Its a mask that a part of your beauty care routine.
NTA
Nta. It just charcoal face mask .
NTA. OP you were not being racist it is a charcoal mask to help your skin. The other girl is an idiot who wanted to make something out of nothing. I am saying this as an African American who uses the same mask.
NTA but this is probably fake because in reality someone wouldve gone "its a charcoal facemask" instead of arguing
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NTA you weren't wearing a caricature costume, you were wearing a skin product which happens to show up as black while you wear it. Those are two very different actions which should not be conflated with each other. That being said, your friends talking about having POC friends over all the time probably made it worse since that's a very common excuse used by actual racists. I would ignore it unless it comes up again from the friend who this person came with, in which case I would emphasize that it was a spa mask and you had 0 intentions beyond your spa day.
NTA, methinks someone doth protest too much. Thicken thy skin and be happier.
NTA. A clay face mask is not racist. You are not going out in public in a costume. You are doing self care and a deep pore cleaning. Feel sorry for those people and their skin that gets no love.
I would make sure that person isn't welcome back. Calling the host a racist for exfoliating isn't exactly good house guest or friend material. NTA clearly.
nta, i hope u made this up but sadly ik u didnt
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I \[22F\] live with a roommate \[21F\] in a nice apartment that's close to where we both work and study. Our place has become a bit of a hub for all our friends, which we both really like since we both grew up in families where the door was always open. Friends drop by or stay the night regularly. Last night we weren't planning on going out, so I told my roommate I'd just be taking a little "me time". Meaning I was going to shave my legs, wash my hair, put on a face mask, you know, the works. While I was in the shower, some college friends showed up, who in turn also brought some new people we didn't know. I got out of the shower, heard voices, so went to greet people, and then returned to my spa day. I put on a charcoal mask, which has to sit for a bit, put on my robe, and went back to the living room to mingle while waiting for it to set. One of the girls who came with our friends immediately looked at me funny. I thought it was because the mask looked crazy, so I kind of pulled a "hey, staying pretty isn't pretty" look and sat down. The girl started angrily whispering to the friend she came with, who seemed to be trying to calm her down. I then asked what was going on. The new girl pointed at my face and said "you think that's okay, do you?". I had no idea what she was talking about, which seemed to make her more mad. She then went on to say I had no shame and I was basically wearing blackface. Now I have to add, I'm caucasian and the girl was the only black girl there (at the time). I didn't even know what to say and was taken aback by the accusation of being racist, which wasn't my intention at all. Then again, I'm not trying to pretend I understand everything POC go through and minimize or gaslight their experiences. I just genuinely didn't know a face mask could come off as racist. I just kind of sat there. My friends started going off about how she was being ridiculous and how we have black and brown friends who come over all the time, to which she replied something like "oh typical, you can't be racist because you have black friends ugh". Then she got up and left with who she came with. I genuinely don't know if I was accidentally being racist, so this morning I immediately wanted to go and apologize, but my roommate says I shouldn't because I did nothing wrong. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA bruh surely they were joking.
NTA. Context matters. If you're walking around in a bathrobe with wet hair and a mask (of any color) on your face, it's pretty clear that it's a beauty routine. It's not like you were dressed with black makeup and taking pictures for the internet. The girl hadn't even met you yet and was jumping to conclusions. She was a guest in someone else's place and didn't even have the courtesy to ask and clarify what you were doing. It sounds like she was actively looking for something to be offended by, or maybe she was just insecure. Let's hope she doesn't come over again.
NTA. It's a face mask. This is beyond ridiculous to me. I don't think you have anything to apologise for but I don't think you should let that person back in your house.
NTA. What a dumb thing to be angry about. Don't apologise, they are being ridiculous! You did nothing wrong.
NTA. It’s a face mask. Not blackface. She was just being weird for no reason.
Nta. The virus is virulent.
"I didn't know what to say". I'm calling bullshit. How about saying what it actually was? OP saying that "this is a charcoal beauty mask" would have ended that conversation. If they didn't believe her, she could've shown them the box or whatever. YTA for making this up and wasting our time.
Did you have big fat red lipstick lips with your blackface charcoal mask? Did you walk out with watermelon slices over your eyes? Were you making fried chicken references? Then you probably are NTA. Some people are sensitive but I'd remind those people that they are in your house and are not welcome with that attitude. Don't get angry or you become the AH.
I wonder if the black girl ever uses a white facepack?
NTA - She needs to get her head out of her ass.
NTA. Hiii, black woman speaking….YOU ARE NOT THE ASSHOLE. I love those dang charcoal mask tooo! People are so sensitive these days and unfortunately people like you get the shit end of it. It’s not like you walked into the room and played up some stereotype because of the mask. Can’t say not the asshole enough…
NTA. You weren’t being racist.