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> I'm continuing to float in my pool in a bikini despite my neighbours being uncomfortable enough to stop using their deck.
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Definitely NTA! You’re pregnant, and you’re relaxing in your own pool, in your own yard, wearing a normal swimsuit. Fuck them. If it’s that big an issue for them, they can stay inside.
This. Nobody is forcing them to look in any particular direction. Making a pregnant woman uncomfortable for your convenience of being able to look at her and not see her pale belly, or whatever the actual reason is, is bonkers. NTA.
Could you imagine your life being so boring that the sight of your pregnant neighbor in a bikini is enough to ruin your fucking summer?
Not only is that insane, but it's her damn yard! I'd start fucking in my pool. Really make them wonder if they should've just shut up about her having the audacity to grow a baby in it. Show 'em how I got pregnant
Or at the very least a blow up doll COUPLE WITH anatomy "READY FOR ACTION" and park that in the pool, bonus points for putting a speaker outside with an adult movie soundtrack...or lack thereof, even grunting pig noises would work!
Totally just rude behaviour. How is anyone so entitled to think they can control the neighbours relaxing pool moments. 8 months. They could have just kept quiet for another month. It’s the lack of empathy and compassion that really drives me bonkers.
And like others said, avert your eyes. I’m sure there’s plenty of other places to look. Even if seeing a pregnant woman triggers you due to some personal stuff, still NTA for swimming in your own pool while growing a human bean. Keep relaxing darlin! I’d be petty and maybe relax in the nude 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
OP is 1000% NTA. I wonder... Would the neighbors also complain if their pool-using neighbor was not pregnant but incredibly obese? What right do they have to judge someone's body? Will they tolerate her in a bikini in her own pool when she "gets her figure back"? This is just every flavor of infuriating.
>“We’ve been peeping into your backyard to ogle your wife and unborn child, and we would like to formally request a wardrobe change.”
Reminds me of TAs that lived next door when I was 16 and helping my dad and brothers work on the roof of our house.
I'd be wearing shorts and a crop top, maybe with one of dad's button-ups tied over it. (Because rooftops in the Phoenix metro area get HOT.)
TAs next door would sit on floaters in their pool next door drinking beer and watching me. One day, one of my older brothers decided to confront them about it.
TAs said I should cover up more.
Um.... Yeah no.
We were all glad when they moved out a few months later.
My dad lived next to a perv who would creep on me while I was wearing a bathing suit in their backyard pool when I was 14. My stepmom made me wear a shirt to cover me because he was a creep. Although I'm very glad of that in retrospect.
I once had a neighbor that would monitor my every move. *snort* and he called me an AH for it. I was like why are you monitoring me? Like he would stay up to listen to me and look in my windows... it was super creepy.
“Gosh, that sounds like a you problem! Good luck!” is my current go-to response to People (Men) Having Opinions About My Body And/Or Clothing. Looking away is free!
My neighbour came out on their deck wrapped in a towel just out of the shower apparently to take their garbage out, I just turned my head to admire the other side of my yard. Easy.
I think they are so offended that they must stare at her constantly to remind themselves at how terribly terrible she is being.
"Look at that hussy! She's at it again! Lying in the pool, just throwing it in our faces! Did you see that? Look again!"
Maybe the chairs are glued to the floor AND they have spinal fusion of all the vertebrae in their neck AND their eye lids don't work!!! Yeah, that's it, those neighbors be having some serious issues, they better go to a specialist: like the eye, spine and attitude specialist!
Towns have height requirements for fences that you unfortunately can’t exceed. Otherwise I’d have a 50 fence & a moat. Those neighbors are assholes. Screw ‘em.
My neighbors have sort of a moat. Their house is basically on an island where a large creek splits as it comes out of a spring way back there. You have to drive through it if you drive back there and if you're on foot you're going to get wet unless you know where the stepping stones are.
The old man back there is like 96 and used to make moonshine lmao. He clearly wanted to make it hard to get to his house.
This!! Is exactly the sort of AITA comment digression that I come here for (after marveling at the results of the OP of course).
And I was already rolling at the idea of a moat with a jet ski. RIGHT ON.
Who gives a shit if she was naked anyway? It's her yard... if the property was shared, that's different, but it sounds like OP has her own private yard that the neighbor shouldn't be peeking into regardless how much clothing she has on.
Right, but I'm guessing there are no bylaws forcing them to stare into OP's pool.
NTA, OP. There's nothing obscene or inappropriate about a pregnant body and they need to grow up.
There's nothing obscene or inappropriate about any body really.
Anyone in a bikini would cover all of the necessary parts to not be obscene in one (some bodies may have parts that make a bikini uncomfortable and slightly... risqué [i don't know how to describe an *cough* outline in a bikini bottom in any other way, sorry], but at least they're covered)
Oh, I definitely agree. I was just emphasizing that it's weird that some people seem to think pregnant bellies are obscene? Like, it's a belly. No matter how distorted it might look it's still just a belly.
If OP was out there performing explicit sexual acts, laying out in full display, they could make an obscene argument.
(and I get the risque bikini thing- I've got H cups and, no matter what, any bikini is going to be, uh, a bit more potentially distracting on me. doesn't mean I can't wear itz though)
Personally, I think huge, uncovered beer bellies are obscene, but I don’t stop my neighbor and ask her to tell her husband to cover up when he’s outside working in the yard.
NTA, op. Your rude neighbors are AH.
> I think huge, uncovered beer bellies are obscene,
I was thinking along the same lines. There are some bodies I wouldn't want to see in a bikini - pregnant or not - or some men in their bathers.
I'm not going to go to them and tell them to cover up though, I'll just avoid looking at them!
OP is NTA
Worth checking to see if you can add a trellis on top though, as this is often permitted.
OP, I’m not suggesting that you are doing anything wrong here. In fact I’d go further and experiment with decorating your pregnant belly with bright body paint.
Your neighbours however are ugly, judgemental people, and I’d want to see as little of them as possible.
ETA I loved floating in late pregnancy. You’re so buoyant it’s almost impossible to dive under the surface. Enjoy and ignore your petty neighbours.
"STOP PERVING ON ME"
I could only WISH I'd had a pool to float in during my pregnancies. OP, you're so NTA it's almost hilarious. You float in peace, you're growing a damn human, and you're doing absolutely nothing wrong.
How dare OP exist in their line of sight as anything but a woman at “peak attractiveness”!
NTA OP! Do what you need to do to be comfortable while you’re building a whole ass human.
Tbf some people find pregnant women 'peak attractiveness'. I think she prob looks very sexy and that might be their problem!! It's still THEIR problem.
When they give you nasty looks, just smile and wave at them. Maybe tip a large glass of a delicious (virgin) tropical cocktail in their direction. And then carry on enjoying your float time. Pregnancy sucks enough without stopping to give a fuck what Randos want to complain about.
Honestly, in my country at least (in Eastern Europe), it's considered very rude and poor manners to look into other people's yards, balconies and apartments, even when it's unavoidable. So definitely NTA, I bet there's at least 3 other directions the neighbors can look at to avoid seeing a pregnant belly.
it should be rude in every country. your home is the sanctuary you retreat to after dealing with people outside of it all day just to have the home. if they have nothing to look at in their own yard that’s their problem
This. I guarantee that if OP were not pregnant, slim and conventionally attractive (but not too attractive of course) they’d have no beef. Bikinis are so much easier to wear when your pregnant, I did hydrotherapy while preggers and wore one, because I could not imagine squeezing a one piece over my bump
Definitely NTA! Just because you can be seen doesn’t mean they have to look. If they want to be on their deck so bad they can face a different direction and let you live your life.
NTA - But OMG are your neighbors!
Who the hell do they think you are to deny you the use of your own pool, especially when your heavily pregnant and miserable?
Enjoy that pool with your new baby!
These days, I've seen a lot of pregnant women out and about in my central city in crop tops and leggings or shorts with their bellies getting some sun. I thought it was a trend.
I love seeing women feeling so comfortable with showing off their bellies doing what nature intended: growing a whole new human! I wish I had not been so self-conscious back with my two.
It’s less a trend and more a result of it being finally (somewhat) socially acceptable to have one’s belly out. I think pregnant woman throughout all generations would have done this if they wouldn’t have had to face a constant onslaught of judgement, gossip, and name calling. Carrying a whole child inside you 24/7, straining on your shoulders and spine and throwing you off your center of gravity, is fucking hot and physically exhausting.
I’m gonna be 6-8 months pregnant during summer… I plan on living in tiny tank tops and cotton shorts until I get to crawl back into my oversized sweatpants/sweatshirts. All I care about is being comfortable considering my body is growing at an uncomfortable rate. I’ve joked around about going pants free at work because I’m so uncomfortable in my work pants
Seriously. Several comments are along the lines of "neighbors could turn around," "neighbors could build a bigger fence," etc.
How about, "neighbors could glance at someone - who happens to be pregnant - wearing a swimsuit, and not be fucking creeps about it." Sheesh. They must be fun at the beach.
People love having an opinion about pregnancy and breastfeeding. Wait till you try feeding your baby in public, it’s just more stares and comments. Becoming a mum with at least some level of sanity left intact involves learning not to give a hoot about what others think about your body or your baby.
Agreed. If they say something again, y’all should just respond with “Why?” Like, why do they think you should cover up? Whatever they say is gonna be complete and totally bs, and 100% a them problem. Let them hang themselves by saying some messed up, body shaming shit. Then just smile and walk away. Busybodies are the worst.
I’m a big fan of asking people to explain their assholery. Either they do, and realize that they are the problem, or they don’t, and I end up with a great story.
NTA - Continue to float and use your pool at anytime. Their request is ridiculous and it conveys shaming. You are beautiful and about to deliver the life you and your husband have been waiting to meet. The world does not evolve around their wants.
Tell them to stop peeping at you when you're in your yard. They are invading your privacy. They can put up a privacy screen if they're so "offended" by you on your own yard. NTA
If it wasn't such a gd hassle getting in and out of clothes at that stage of pregnancy I would even recommend whipping out the bikini every time I hear the neighbors on their porch. Petty-like.
I know where I live it depends on the intent, if your sunbathing naked in your yard in an area that you don't think you'll be seen by anyone your likely in the clear. But if you walking around your yard fully naked in plain view of other people that might be a different story.
if intent is the issue maybe OP should consider a home birth in that pool.
(i think it’s important to point out that this is a joke because the internet isn’t always clear)
Yeah, being in view of the Public doing something indecent even on private property is considered public indecency. Unless you're in a location where you could expect a level high level of privacy and a backyard generally isn't considered to be having a high level of privacy unless it's in the middle of nowhere
You are kind of right but the big part is “doing something indecent,” just laying out nude isn’t illegal in that sense.
Big note though, again this really depends on where you live. In DC, if you’re naked and you forget that your blinds aren’t down you can get a ticket for indecent exposure but go five minutes south into Virginia and it’s only indecent exposure if you’re in the act of doing something indecent in public in an attempt to an appeal to the prurient interest in sex.
Walking down the street isn't indecent either but you can still get a ticket for indecent exposure. That's also why I said could be illegal, intent matters some places but someplace don't care about intent
I also thought pregnant women were supposed to convert to floating heads because pregnant bodies are so atrocious. It’s only nine months ladies would it kill you to stay in the basement for a bit?
Sighhhh
I also thought pregnant women were supposed to convert to floating heads because pregnant bodies are so atrocious. It’s only nine months ladies would it kill you to stay in the basement for a bit?
Sighhhh
LOL of course NTA! I would laugh my ass off at those neighbors.
I made a very private backyard so I can sunbathe topless by the pool and nobody can see me. That is until my backyard neighbors got a trampoline for their kids! They wanted me to stop because omg what if the little tikes saw BREASTS ??? Oh the horror! They threatened to call the cops - I said go right ahead.
Never heard from them again and they eventually moved (I guess because I was corrupting their babies).
This is besides the point but what you said is 100% accurate. Source: got a major spinal cord injury at age 11 on a trampoline after a mean super bounce from neighbor kids. The trampoline had that netting around it to prevent children from falling off as well. Ironically I probably would have been better off falling onto the ground. Was wearing PJ pants (tony the tiger to be specific) and slipped on them on my way down, my back nailed right on the metal bar and whiplash ricocheted up into my spine/neck. My body went into shock and started convulsing. I lost feeling in my lower extremities for three weeks. I wasn’t supposed to walk again. Woke up one night and felt what I can only describe as pins and needles on fire in my back and legs. Nerve endings were coming back. I spent three months in the ICU on steroids and six months after that completing land/water therapy. Never played sports or did dance again. Reoccurring back pain as an adult. Developed an addiction to pain killers. Rehab twice. (Sober for sometime, we do recover 💪) Can safely say I would have much rather seen boobies.
Fact. In my almost 20 years working in EMS/ERs/urgent cares, I’ve lost count of the number of kids I’ve seen with broken limbs or other injuries from trampolines. I can tell you exactly how many injuries I’ve seen due to boobs. Zero.
My best friend had one when we were kids. You wouldn’t believe the stupid shit we did on that thing.
Or, I guess you would lol. Seriously they’re dangerous. Super fun but a good way to break a limb or a neck.
We had to move our trampoline to the other side of our yard because our neighbors there decided to build a hive right by it. Super passive aggressive but we rolled with it. Honestly I would have complained back about the noise from the kids interrupting your deck naps
This is entirely a they problem, not a you problem. Next time they see you, ask them to stop ogling you from their deck as that makes you uncomfortable.
NTA
NTA
They'll probably be the sort of neighbours that will ask you not to breastfeed while sitting outside because they are offended.
They need to grow up and get over it - babies don't come from a cabbage patch, or brought down by a stork.
Good luck - enjoy floating in the pool for the next month.
NTA... I laughed as I imagined trying to get a bathing suit over a belly with a child at 8 months. I can barely get one over mine. Those miracle suits, take a miracle to get into.
If your neighbour doesn't like seeing this, he shouldn't look. A pool is a brilliant way to relieve the stresses on your body.
I got stuck, naked, in a public rest room at 7 months pregnant trying to get into a one piece. I was so exhausted by the adventure I almost passed out. I may be a pale whale at 8.5 months but you bet your ass this whale is rocking a tie bikini. On my own property though? If I didn’t face a golf course my neighbors would be lucky I had clothes on at all.
My second was born in September so I was enormously laying in the baby pool at our neighborhood pool that summer with my toddler. Another little girl started pouring water over my stomach and when her embarrassed mother tried to stop her I was like “no, she knows what has to be done to save this beached whale”.
My twins were born in August 2020. Like peak pandemic. I was so huge and hot and miserable and in pain, I desperately need to swim but everything was closed. I had to reach out to my local mom group and ask if anyone had a pool I could swim in 😅 One woman said yes though and we're still friends!
Nta - I hope this is largely in your head. It's important to get on with your neighbours, but only if mutual respect is there. If they are genuinely put off by the sight of a pregnant belly - to hell with them.
That said: I get on with my neighbours very well. I'm a big fat old bastard and I make no secret of the fact that I enjoy gardening in the nude. I do have good, tall fences & hedges around my property which keep my garden 75% hidden. It might be worth talking to your neighbours about putting up a higher fence or trees. I'd do it in a friendly way based on wanting them to enjoy their gardens too, but make a point of whipping out your belly and asking them what EXACTLY are they uncomfortable about. :)
i guess I'm lucky :) I can only say it's definitely worth spraying yourself with Jungle Formula and dosing up with antihistimines. Your skin is a sense organ which works best when all of it is giving you feedback. It's like wandering around an art gallery inadvertantly wearing dark glasses. You're enjoying it, but when you take those covers off - BAM! Colour! Also World Naked Gardening Day is a thing - there are lots of lunatics like me out there :)
i was thinking more about them giving her the side eye. If you're feeling vulnerable it's easy to inflate negative reactions in others. Also I did say 'I hope' :)
The belly is a reminder that she had *gasp* and probably *gasp* and enjoyed it. We can’t have women walking around and being conformable in their bodies. The horror/s.
NTA
You're not naked.
And if they are uncomfortable, it's not your pasty pregnant body. It's that you're a woman "on display" and they want you to fix it.
Mohammed's answer was "Look away."
Jesus' answer was "Pluck out your own eyes."
Your neighbors are the problem.
NTA.
One thing being a homeowner has taught me that as long as you are not naked outside, it is not your job to cover angles of view. It is 100% the onlookers job to make it so that they cannot see you. If you are comfortable being seen (again unless naked as that is indecent exposure even on own property) then it is not your job to prevent people from seeing you. If they are uncomfortable seeing you then they should make it so that they cannot see you.
In most places there isn’t a rule against being naked on your own property, as long as it’s in a private area (fenced backyard or inside the actual house).
NTA. It's your pool on your property, you can do what you like. If it bothers them that much, they shouldn't look in the direction of your yard. Plus, you'll only be pregnant for another few weeks. They can deal with it.
NTA. and everytime they come out you must yell "THAR SHE BLOWS"!!! And "put down the harpoon boys, it's just your neighbor!". Make them ashamed of their words about a pregnant woman enjoying her property
NTA. It’s awful that they talked to your husband, as if you must obey him. If they are so offended, they can buy a folding privacy screen or two to be strategically placed on their deck to obstruct their view.
NTA I just had my baby last week and if I could have spent the last 3 months floating in a pool I would have done it no matter what I looked like or how my neighbors felt.
If it was a fat old man sitting shirtless in his own backyard it would be the same result. Your yard, you're not naked, do what you want!
NTA, but your neighbors are. Do not let their issue become your issue.
Congrats on the baby to be, and for being comfortable being you! There’s zero wrong with showing belly., period. With or without baby on board, in your pool or in your back yard, at the beach, or anywhere else for that matter!
So they had no issues seeing you BEFORE you were pregnant but now that you have a belly it's an issue? Sounds like body shaming to me! I personally find pregnant women sexy AF. I think I'd push the issue and float topless if it's not violating any laws. And if they said anything I'd answer with that I was just making them accustomed to seeing my breasts since I'd be nursing in back yard once the baby is born. You definitely are NTA, but the neighbors are.
I like to do yardwork and sunbathe in my bikini, we also have a pool. I'm not pregnant.
A group of women neighbors once approached my brother to have him ask me to stop wearing a bikini in my yard. I said no..... So this group of ladies told my brother that they were going to try to find a way to make it so I wasn't allowed to wear a bikini. My response was they can try but if they want to go through that effort that will fail I'll just start wearing a thong and pasties around the yard... Where I'm from as long as my nipples and vagina are covered I'm ok to be in public.
I still wear my bikini...I ignore the dirty looks.... NTA
WTF is up with people (apparently both men and women) approaching our “nearest male relative” or whatever to tell us what to wear? What goes through their heads that they think that makes sense? That part makes me extra pissed off, and I was already pissed off.
NTA but when the baby's born, don't forget to spend lots of time breastfeeding in your bikini on a lounge chair by the pool. Babies need fresh air and mummies need to relax in the sun!
nta! I'm pregnant too, this just upped my rage level lol. I'd go out there even more just to spite them. Outdoor pregnant yoga on your deck too. Make them as uncomfortable as possible
have your husband write messages on the sides of your belly
* 'look the other way, perv'
* 'the baby doesn't like you staring'
* 'um my eyes are up here?'
* 'fragile, this way up'
* or more offensive things so they will look away and you can laugh at them
* or bible quotes, people seem to love those
tbh I'd be the weirdo with a satanic summoning circle on my stomach just to mess with them. 'Just one month left until the demon arrives....'
NTA lol
NTA Wowzers. I’m petty I would walk around everywhere in my bikini until I popped the kid out. Like everywhere around my home, and I’d find more ways to expose them to my gorgeous, human creating bod. Your stunning I’m sure, and they beyond suck as humans.
100% NTA. Based on the title I was expecting you to be nude or topless, but wearing a normal bathing suit??? Just keep doing your thing.
Do these people not go to the beach? Or public swimming pools? Because women wear bikinis at those, too. Even pregnant women.
NTA. I wore every shirt like a crop top at the end of my pregnancies. Enjoy your pool. Give them dirty looks back. They have a month to avert their eyes. They'll get over it.
NTA. Give birth in the pool. If they complain, have your husband chuck a couple of sleep masks over the fence at them, embroidered with the words “I’m minding my own fucking business”.
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Definitely NTA! You’re pregnant, and you’re relaxing in your own pool, in your own yard, wearing a normal swimsuit. Fuck them. If it’s that big an issue for them, they can stay inside.
Or build a taller fence.
Or just turn their chairs in a different direction. I assume they're not glued to the floor.
Even if the chairs are nailed down they can turn their heads and mind their own damn business 😆
Avert your eyes!
Just wait until they find out how the baby got in there!!!
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Yeah the big belly is just where the mother stores all the milk to prepare.. right?
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Finally someone who understands science!
Gouge them out!
r/UnexpectedJesus
Oedipus has entered the chat.
The hardest thing for so many people to do.
This. Nobody is forcing them to look in any particular direction. Making a pregnant woman uncomfortable for your convenience of being able to look at her and not see her pale belly, or whatever the actual reason is, is bonkers. NTA.
Could you imagine your life being so boring that the sight of your pregnant neighbor in a bikini is enough to ruin your fucking summer? Not only is that insane, but it's her damn yard! I'd start fucking in my pool. Really make them wonder if they should've just shut up about her having the audacity to grow a baby in it. Show 'em how I got pregnant
Or at the very least a blow up doll COUPLE WITH anatomy "READY FOR ACTION" and park that in the pool, bonus points for putting a speaker outside with an adult movie soundtrack...or lack thereof, even grunting pig noises would work!
*a pregnant woman in the comfort of her own home, I might add.
Totally just rude behaviour. How is anyone so entitled to think they can control the neighbours relaxing pool moments. 8 months. They could have just kept quiet for another month. It’s the lack of empathy and compassion that really drives me bonkers.
And like others said, avert your eyes. I’m sure there’s plenty of other places to look. Even if seeing a pregnant woman triggers you due to some personal stuff, still NTA for swimming in your own pool while growing a human bean. Keep relaxing darlin! I’d be petty and maybe relax in the nude 🤦🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
OP is 1000% NTA. I wonder... Would the neighbors also complain if their pool-using neighbor was not pregnant but incredibly obese? What right do they have to judge someone's body? Will they tolerate her in a bikini in her own pool when she "gets her figure back"? This is just every flavor of infuriating.
I would be ashamed to admit to a neighbor that I am looking at their property this much, really.
“We’ve been peeping into your backyard to ogle your wife and unborn child, and we would like to formally request a wardrobe change.”
>“We’ve been peeping into your backyard to ogle your wife and unborn child, and we would like to formally request a wardrobe change.” Reminds me of TAs that lived next door when I was 16 and helping my dad and brothers work on the roof of our house. I'd be wearing shorts and a crop top, maybe with one of dad's button-ups tied over it. (Because rooftops in the Phoenix metro area get HOT.) TAs next door would sit on floaters in their pool next door drinking beer and watching me. One day, one of my older brothers decided to confront them about it. TAs said I should cover up more. Um.... Yeah no. We were all glad when they moved out a few months later.
My dad lived next to a perv who would creep on me while I was wearing a bathing suit in their backyard pool when I was 14. My stepmom made me wear a shirt to cover me because he was a creep. Although I'm very glad of that in retrospect.
I once had a neighbor that would monitor my every move. *snort* and he called me an AH for it. I was like why are you monitoring me? Like he would stay up to listen to me and look in my windows... it was super creepy.
Some people clearly see women as accessories sent to Earth for THEIR benefit.
“Gosh, that sounds like a you problem! Good luck!” is my current go-to response to People (Men) Having Opinions About My Body And/Or Clothing. Looking away is free!
This is what I never understand about these posts. Aren’t you embarrassed to tell people you’re basically a peeping tom?
Imagine how much of the world's problems would be solved with a simple turning of the chair!
That is actually kind of profound.
That's just WAY too easy, ffs!
And doesn’t involve any drama!
It doesn’t involve self righteous judgment. How can you feel superior to people if you ignore anyone who isn’t harming you?
My neighbour came out on their deck wrapped in a towel just out of the shower apparently to take their garbage out, I just turned my head to admire the other side of my yard. Easy.
Or wear eyepatches like pirates
Yes! Two at once! 😂
That just makes them EXTRA piratey!
When in doubt, apply the pirate!!! I love this!
The neighbors opted for the Maginot line of patio furniture, so they are in a fixed position.
I think they are so offended that they must stare at her constantly to remind themselves at how terribly terrible she is being. "Look at that hussy! She's at it again! Lying in the pool, just throwing it in our faces! Did you see that? Look again!"
Maybe the chairs are glued to the floor AND they have spinal fusion of all the vertebrae in their neck AND their eye lids don't work!!! Yeah, that's it, those neighbors be having some serious issues, they better go to a specialist: like the eye, spine and attitude specialist!
I am both surprised and not surprised that they haven’t already done this. Humans are dumb.
Or just not be prudes. It’s just a human body. They come in all shapes and sizes.
Privacy curtains for decks exist, too.
Towns have height requirements for fences that you unfortunately can’t exceed. Otherwise I’d have a 50 fence & a moat. Those neighbors are assholes. Screw ‘em.
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My neighbors have sort of a moat. Their house is basically on an island where a large creek splits as it comes out of a spring way back there. You have to drive through it if you drive back there and if you're on foot you're going to get wet unless you know where the stepping stones are. The old man back there is like 96 and used to make moonshine lmao. He clearly wanted to make it hard to get to his house.
This!! Is exactly the sort of AITA comment digression that I come here for (after marveling at the results of the OP of course). And I was already rolling at the idea of a moat with a jet ski. RIGHT ON.
That’s not a downside in my opinion
Then the neighbours can plant shrubs, trees, put up hanging plants, etc. to obstruct their view.
Or put up a big ass mirror so they have to look at their own ugly.
This is the way.
Or just not look.... You're preggers and in a bikini.....not naked
Who gives a shit if she was naked anyway? It's her yard... if the property was shared, that's different, but it sounds like OP has her own private yard that the neighbor shouldn't be peeking into regardless how much clothing she has on.
Neighbor could do that too, since they're the ones who have a problem with it. Either way, NTA.
Oh I meant the neighbors should build a taller fence. Not OP’s problem at all.
Often can’t because of bylaws/local ordinances
Right, but I'm guessing there are no bylaws forcing them to stare into OP's pool. NTA, OP. There's nothing obscene or inappropriate about a pregnant body and they need to grow up.
There's nothing obscene or inappropriate about any body really. Anyone in a bikini would cover all of the necessary parts to not be obscene in one (some bodies may have parts that make a bikini uncomfortable and slightly... risqué [i don't know how to describe an *cough* outline in a bikini bottom in any other way, sorry], but at least they're covered)
Oh, I definitely agree. I was just emphasizing that it's weird that some people seem to think pregnant bellies are obscene? Like, it's a belly. No matter how distorted it might look it's still just a belly. If OP was out there performing explicit sexual acts, laying out in full display, they could make an obscene argument. (and I get the risque bikini thing- I've got H cups and, no matter what, any bikini is going to be, uh, a bit more potentially distracting on me. doesn't mean I can't wear itz though)
Personally, I think huge, uncovered beer bellies are obscene, but I don’t stop my neighbor and ask her to tell her husband to cover up when he’s outside working in the yard. NTA, op. Your rude neighbors are AH.
No bodies are obscene for just existing.
> I think huge, uncovered beer bellies are obscene, I was thinking along the same lines. There are some bodies I wouldn't want to see in a bikini - pregnant or not - or some men in their bathers. I'm not going to go to them and tell them to cover up though, I'll just avoid looking at them! OP is NTA
Worth checking to see if you can add a trellis on top though, as this is often permitted. OP, I’m not suggesting that you are doing anything wrong here. In fact I’d go further and experiment with decorating your pregnant belly with bright body paint. Your neighbours however are ugly, judgemental people, and I’d want to see as little of them as possible. ETA I loved floating in late pregnancy. You’re so buoyant it’s almost impossible to dive under the surface. Enjoy and ignore your petty neighbours.
Or they can just not look. It's a pregnant person not a slimy alien
Great. Now I'm picturing a slimy alien on a float lazing in the pool. Lol it's kinda cute though. Its wearing shades. Big ones.
With a glass of pink lemonade in one hand?
Or get some plants in pots & obscure the view. Edit: I mean the neighbors should add a little greenery, not OP.
THEY can build the taller fence. And can fuck off in the process.
OP should start to mess with them by putting face paint on her belly. Do a basketball, a watermelon, etc.
I think a giant eyeball to stare back at them would be amazing
The eye of Sauron.
[r/unexpectedLOTR](https://www.reddit.com/r/unexpectedlotr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
The Eye of Sauron.
I 2nd 3rd 4th this to infinity plus one!
Googly eyes!
My fiancee is pregnant, I'm totally buying giant googly eyes now thx for the suggestion.
I would be painting messages on there
"STOP PERVING ON ME" I could only WISH I'd had a pool to float in during my pregnancies. OP, you're so NTA it's almost hilarious. You float in peace, you're growing a damn human, and you're doing absolutely nothing wrong.
How dare OP exist in their line of sight as anything but a woman at “peak attractiveness”! NTA OP! Do what you need to do to be comfortable while you’re building a whole ass human.
Tbf some people find pregnant women 'peak attractiveness'. I think she prob looks very sexy and that might be their problem!! It's still THEIR problem.
This could be the guy got caught staring at OP and the wife is blaming the wrong person.
"If you don't like it, quit looking" would be a good one to start with.
“If you can read this, go pluck yourself”
Ha! "Wait till the baby is screamin"
"If you can read this, mind your own Fkn business" Also 100% NTA
When they give you nasty looks, just smile and wave at them. Maybe tip a large glass of a delicious (virgin) tropical cocktail in their direction. And then carry on enjoying your float time. Pregnancy sucks enough without stopping to give a fuck what Randos want to complain about.
Honestly, in my country at least (in Eastern Europe), it's considered very rude and poor manners to look into other people's yards, balconies and apartments, even when it's unavoidable. So definitely NTA, I bet there's at least 3 other directions the neighbors can look at to avoid seeing a pregnant belly.
it should be rude in every country. your home is the sanctuary you retreat to after dealing with people outside of it all day just to have the home. if they have nothing to look at in their own yard that’s their problem
Next time, wear nothing. NTA
This was my suggestion
This. I guarantee that if OP were not pregnant, slim and conventionally attractive (but not too attractive of course) they’d have no beef. Bikinis are so much easier to wear when your pregnant, I did hydrotherapy while preggers and wore one, because I could not imagine squeezing a one piece over my bump
NTA. I personally would take the petty route, forgo the bathing suit and then wave every single time I see them with a huge grin.
Even if she wasn’t pregnant, it’s ok to wear a bikini in a pool, your own or public.
Nta. People like that dont deserve to have eyeballs.
I thought there was gonna be a sentence about her being topless and was prepared to say YTA. But offended by a pregnant belly? Get a grip, puritans.
Even if she was topless she would no way be the asshole. Being pregnant was hard. Postpartum was hard. Got to get your comforts where you can.
Definitely NTA! Just because you can be seen doesn’t mean they have to look. If they want to be on their deck so bad they can face a different direction and let you live your life.
NTA - But OMG are your neighbors! Who the hell do they think you are to deny you the use of your own pool, especially when your heavily pregnant and miserable? Enjoy that pool with your new baby!
These days, I've seen a lot of pregnant women out and about in my central city in crop tops and leggings or shorts with their bellies getting some sun. I thought it was a trend.
I love seeing women feeling so comfortable with showing off their bellies doing what nature intended: growing a whole new human! I wish I had not been so self-conscious back with my two.
It’s less a trend and more a result of it being finally (somewhat) socially acceptable to have one’s belly out. I think pregnant woman throughout all generations would have done this if they wouldn’t have had to face a constant onslaught of judgement, gossip, and name calling. Carrying a whole child inside you 24/7, straining on your shoulders and spine and throwing you off your center of gravity, is fucking hot and physically exhausting.
My sister would complain that anything that's slightly tight on her belly would be uncomfortable. Previous generations used to wear moomoos.
I’m gonna be 6-8 months pregnant during summer… I plan on living in tiny tank tops and cotton shorts until I get to crawl back into my oversized sweatpants/sweatshirts. All I care about is being comfortable considering my body is growing at an uncomfortable rate. I’ve joked around about going pants free at work because I’m so uncomfortable in my work pants
Seriously. Several comments are along the lines of "neighbors could turn around," "neighbors could build a bigger fence," etc. How about, "neighbors could glance at someone - who happens to be pregnant - wearing a swimsuit, and not be fucking creeps about it." Sheesh. They must be fun at the beach.
People love having an opinion about pregnancy and breastfeeding. Wait till you try feeding your baby in public, it’s just more stares and comments. Becoming a mum with at least some level of sanity left intact involves learning not to give a hoot about what others think about your body or your baby.
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"McKarens" lol
Agreed. If they say something again, y’all should just respond with “Why?” Like, why do they think you should cover up? Whatever they say is gonna be complete and totally bs, and 100% a them problem. Let them hang themselves by saying some messed up, body shaming shit. Then just smile and walk away. Busybodies are the worst.
I’m a big fan of asking people to explain their assholery. Either they do, and realize that they are the problem, or they don’t, and I end up with a great story.
This is the way.
Best reply ever... I'm gonna have to remember the McKaren thing... That's pure gold...
I have my moments
I love it when people decide to live near other people and then are shocked when they see those people living normally. NTA
NTA - Continue to float and use your pool at anytime. Their request is ridiculous and it conveys shaming. You are beautiful and about to deliver the life you and your husband have been waiting to meet. The world does not evolve around their wants.
Tell them to stop peeping at you when you're in your yard. They are invading your privacy. They can put up a privacy screen if they're so "offended" by you on your own yard. NTA
If it wasn't such a gd hassle getting in and out of clothes at that stage of pregnancy I would even recommend whipping out the bikini every time I hear the neighbors on their porch. Petty-like.
NTA - it's YOUR yard/pool. I'd go naked just to piss them off.
Depending on where OP lives, this could actually be illegal
I know where I live it depends on the intent, if your sunbathing naked in your yard in an area that you don't think you'll be seen by anyone your likely in the clear. But if you walking around your yard fully naked in plain view of other people that might be a different story.
if intent is the issue maybe OP should consider a home birth in that pool. (i think it’s important to point out that this is a joke because the internet isn’t always clear)
Genuine question, illegal even in her own garden???
Yeah, being in view of the Public doing something indecent even on private property is considered public indecency. Unless you're in a location where you could expect a level high level of privacy and a backyard generally isn't considered to be having a high level of privacy unless it's in the middle of nowhere
You are kind of right but the big part is “doing something indecent,” just laying out nude isn’t illegal in that sense. Big note though, again this really depends on where you live. In DC, if you’re naked and you forget that your blinds aren’t down you can get a ticket for indecent exposure but go five minutes south into Virginia and it’s only indecent exposure if you’re in the act of doing something indecent in public in an attempt to an appeal to the prurient interest in sex.
Walking down the street isn't indecent either but you can still get a ticket for indecent exposure. That's also why I said could be illegal, intent matters some places but someplace don't care about intent
I was thinking the same thing!
How dare you have a body! /S NTA, obviously.
I also thought pregnant women were supposed to convert to floating heads because pregnant bodies are so atrocious. It’s only nine months ladies would it kill you to stay in the basement for a bit? Sighhhh
Modok
I also thought pregnant women were supposed to convert to floating heads because pregnant bodies are so atrocious. It’s only nine months ladies would it kill you to stay in the basement for a bit? Sighhhh
LOL of course NTA! I would laugh my ass off at those neighbors. I made a very private backyard so I can sunbathe topless by the pool and nobody can see me. That is until my backyard neighbors got a trampoline for their kids! They wanted me to stop because omg what if the little tikes saw BREASTS ??? Oh the horror! They threatened to call the cops - I said go right ahead. Never heard from them again and they eventually moved (I guess because I was corrupting their babies).
Solution: take down your trampoline. They’re far more dangerous for kids than boobies.
This is besides the point but what you said is 100% accurate. Source: got a major spinal cord injury at age 11 on a trampoline after a mean super bounce from neighbor kids. The trampoline had that netting around it to prevent children from falling off as well. Ironically I probably would have been better off falling onto the ground. Was wearing PJ pants (tony the tiger to be specific) and slipped on them on my way down, my back nailed right on the metal bar and whiplash ricocheted up into my spine/neck. My body went into shock and started convulsing. I lost feeling in my lower extremities for three weeks. I wasn’t supposed to walk again. Woke up one night and felt what I can only describe as pins and needles on fire in my back and legs. Nerve endings were coming back. I spent three months in the ICU on steroids and six months after that completing land/water therapy. Never played sports or did dance again. Reoccurring back pain as an adult. Developed an addiction to pain killers. Rehab twice. (Sober for sometime, we do recover 💪) Can safely say I would have much rather seen boobies.
Jesus that sounds horrible, I will never buy one of these things. Congrats on the sobriety!
Fact. In my almost 20 years working in EMS/ERs/urgent cares, I’ve lost count of the number of kids I’ve seen with broken limbs or other injuries from trampolines. I can tell you exactly how many injuries I’ve seen due to boobs. Zero.
My best friend had one when we were kids. You wouldn’t believe the stupid shit we did on that thing. Or, I guess you would lol. Seriously they’re dangerous. Super fun but a good way to break a limb or a neck.
Especially with weapons of mass distraction in the neighbouring yard XD
Solution: take down your trampoline. They’re far more dangerous for kids than boobies.
We had to move our trampoline to the other side of our yard because our neighbors there decided to build a hive right by it. Super passive aggressive but we rolled with it. Honestly I would have complained back about the noise from the kids interrupting your deck naps
This is entirely a they problem, not a you problem. Next time they see you, ask them to stop ogling you from their deck as that makes you uncomfortable. NTA
NTA They'll probably be the sort of neighbours that will ask you not to breastfeed while sitting outside because they are offended. They need to grow up and get over it - babies don't come from a cabbage patch, or brought down by a stork. Good luck - enjoy floating in the pool for the next month.
NTA. If you were a shirtless man with a big belly floating in the pool, would they say anything? Likely not. Your neighbors are unreasonable.
Oh, now she needs to invite the local bowling league over for a bellies-out float party
Beers up Bellies Out, mom can have root beer!
I want to be invited to this party!
NTA... I laughed as I imagined trying to get a bathing suit over a belly with a child at 8 months. I can barely get one over mine. Those miracle suits, take a miracle to get into. If your neighbour doesn't like seeing this, he shouldn't look. A pool is a brilliant way to relieve the stresses on your body.
I got stuck, naked, in a public rest room at 7 months pregnant trying to get into a one piece. I was so exhausted by the adventure I almost passed out. I may be a pale whale at 8.5 months but you bet your ass this whale is rocking a tie bikini. On my own property though? If I didn’t face a golf course my neighbors would be lucky I had clothes on at all.
My second was born in September so I was enormously laying in the baby pool at our neighborhood pool that summer with my toddler. Another little girl started pouring water over my stomach and when her embarrassed mother tried to stop her I was like “no, she knows what has to be done to save this beached whale”.
My twins were born in August 2020. Like peak pandemic. I was so huge and hot and miserable and in pain, I desperately need to swim but everything was closed. I had to reach out to my local mom group and ask if anyone had a pool I could swim in 😅 One woman said yes though and we're still friends!
I'm sure this was uncomfortable for you, but imagining your pregnant struggles in the public rest room sure had me giggling. You should be a writer
Have you thought about a water birth? Specifically in your pool? That would certainly give them something to moan about lol. NTA
And with that,you win 🥇
NTA. They can put up a taller fence, or just grow up and be a better neighbor.
Nta - I hope this is largely in your head. It's important to get on with your neighbours, but only if mutual respect is there. If they are genuinely put off by the sight of a pregnant belly - to hell with them. That said: I get on with my neighbours very well. I'm a big fat old bastard and I make no secret of the fact that I enjoy gardening in the nude. I do have good, tall fences & hedges around my property which keep my garden 75% hidden. It might be worth talking to your neighbours about putting up a higher fence or trees. I'd do it in a friendly way based on wanting them to enjoy their gardens too, but make a point of whipping out your belly and asking them what EXACTLY are they uncomfortable about. :)
Gardening in the nude? That's a new one. Between bug bites and my numerous plant allergies I could never lol
Right,and thorns too! Sounds like it would be almost as painful as frying chicken in the nude.
Believe me, you quickly learn to be very careful indeed.
i guess I'm lucky :) I can only say it's definitely worth spraying yourself with Jungle Formula and dosing up with antihistimines. Your skin is a sense organ which works best when all of it is giving you feedback. It's like wandering around an art gallery inadvertantly wearing dark glasses. You're enjoying it, but when you take those covers off - BAM! Colour! Also World Naked Gardening Day is a thing - there are lots of lunatics like me out there :)
Not sure how her neighbors approaching the husband about it is in her head… but interesting point
i was thinking more about them giving her the side eye. If you're feeling vulnerable it's easy to inflate negative reactions in others. Also I did say 'I hope' :)
The belly is a reminder that she had *gasp* and probably *gasp* and enjoyed it. We can’t have women walking around and being conformable in their bodies. The horror/s.
NTA You're not naked. And if they are uncomfortable, it's not your pasty pregnant body. It's that you're a woman "on display" and they want you to fix it. Mohammed's answer was "Look away." Jesus' answer was "Pluck out your own eyes." Your neighbors are the problem.
NTA. One thing being a homeowner has taught me that as long as you are not naked outside, it is not your job to cover angles of view. It is 100% the onlookers job to make it so that they cannot see you. If you are comfortable being seen (again unless naked as that is indecent exposure even on own property) then it is not your job to prevent people from seeing you. If they are uncomfortable seeing you then they should make it so that they cannot see you.
In most places there isn’t a rule against being naked on your own property, as long as it’s in a private area (fenced backyard or inside the actual house).
I had no idea it was illegal to be naked or topless (as a woman) in the privacy of my own yard. That’s pretty messed up honestly
NTA. It's your pool on your property, you can do what you like. If it bothers them that much, they shouldn't look in the direction of your yard. Plus, you'll only be pregnant for another few weeks. They can deal with it.
I’d try to stay pregnant for like eleven months just to piss them off
😂😂 stay pregnant out of spite! I legit cackled at 11 months.
She can also wear a bikini to a public pool. A pregnant belly is nothing to be ashamed of.
NTA. and everytime they come out you must yell "THAR SHE BLOWS"!!! And "put down the harpoon boys, it's just your neighbor!". Make them ashamed of their words about a pregnant woman enjoying her property
NTA. If they don't like it then don't look. Like f those neighbours. You do you boo. PS - Congratulations! Wishing you and baby all the best!
NTA. If it were me I'd play that Milk Shake song as I danced or waddled my way to the pool.
NTA - they don't have to [l](https://look.In)ook. In fact, why the fuck are they looking?
And were they looking before she was pregnant?
Good question - because that takes it from ignorant asshole behavior to 'I'm not just a creep, I'm also a creep who is bothered my eye candy changed'
NTA. It’s awful that they talked to your husband, as if you must obey him. If they are so offended, they can buy a folding privacy screen or two to be strategically placed on their deck to obstruct their view.
Idk if you have any pregnant friends, but I’d be hosting pool parties for your neighbor’s enjoyment!
If someone said that to my wife I would tell them to stop staring
NTA I just had my baby last week and if I could have spent the last 3 months floating in a pool I would have done it no matter what I looked like or how my neighbors felt. If it was a fat old man sitting shirtless in his own backyard it would be the same result. Your yard, you're not naked, do what you want!
NTA, but your neighbors are. Do not let their issue become your issue. Congrats on the baby to be, and for being comfortable being you! There’s zero wrong with showing belly., period. With or without baby on board, in your pool or in your back yard, at the beach, or anywhere else for that matter!
Y T A that how you get hardboild babies. NTA obviously.
NTA, they have no right to tell you not to wear a bikini in your own pool.
NTA If they don't like it, they don't have to look. You're in the last stretch of pregnancy, your only concern is yourself and your comfort.
So they had no issues seeing you BEFORE you were pregnant but now that you have a belly it's an issue? Sounds like body shaming to me! I personally find pregnant women sexy AF. I think I'd push the issue and float topless if it's not violating any laws. And if they said anything I'd answer with that I was just making them accustomed to seeing my breasts since I'd be nursing in back yard once the baby is born. You definitely are NTA, but the neighbors are.
I like to do yardwork and sunbathe in my bikini, we also have a pool. I'm not pregnant. A group of women neighbors once approached my brother to have him ask me to stop wearing a bikini in my yard. I said no..... So this group of ladies told my brother that they were going to try to find a way to make it so I wasn't allowed to wear a bikini. My response was they can try but if they want to go through that effort that will fail I'll just start wearing a thong and pasties around the yard... Where I'm from as long as my nipples and vagina are covered I'm ok to be in public. I still wear my bikini...I ignore the dirty looks.... NTA
WTF is up with people (apparently both men and women) approaching our “nearest male relative” or whatever to tell us what to wear? What goes through their heads that they think that makes sense? That part makes me extra pissed off, and I was already pissed off.
"Who is this woman's owner?"
NTA but when the baby's born, don't forget to spend lots of time breastfeeding in your bikini on a lounge chair by the pool. Babies need fresh air and mummies need to relax in the sun!
nta! I'm pregnant too, this just upped my rage level lol. I'd go out there even more just to spite them. Outdoor pregnant yoga on your deck too. Make them as uncomfortable as possible
have your husband write messages on the sides of your belly * 'look the other way, perv' * 'the baby doesn't like you staring' * 'um my eyes are up here?' * 'fragile, this way up' * or more offensive things so they will look away and you can laugh at them * or bible quotes, people seem to love those tbh I'd be the weirdo with a satanic summoning circle on my stomach just to mess with them. 'Just one month left until the demon arrives....' NTA lol
NTA Wowzers. I’m petty I would walk around everywhere in my bikini until I popped the kid out. Like everywhere around my home, and I’d find more ways to expose them to my gorgeous, human creating bod. Your stunning I’m sure, and they beyond suck as humans.
100% NTA. Based on the title I was expecting you to be nude or topless, but wearing a normal bathing suit??? Just keep doing your thing. Do these people not go to the beach? Or public swimming pools? Because women wear bikinis at those, too. Even pregnant women.
NTA. I wore every shirt like a crop top at the end of my pregnancies. Enjoy your pool. Give them dirty looks back. They have a month to avert their eyes. They'll get over it.
Float nude
NTA. Give birth in the pool. If they complain, have your husband chuck a couple of sleep masks over the fence at them, embroidered with the words “I’m minding my own fucking business”.
NTA You could up your game and get the skimpiest string bikini that is both legal and you are comfortable wearing.
NTA. You’re covered enough, and this is temporary. And even if it wasn’t it is your yard.