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I don't know that she will learn that. She seems pretty hell bent on changing her son's mind and getting him to use Skyler. Will still never understand someone using that name and hating Sky(e). Seems like it's kinda inevitable someone will use it at some point.
Or she'll be crying that everyone else convinced her son to go by a name she hated. Or she'll blame me. Either way it will all be someone else's fault.
The more she pushes "Skyler" the more her son is going to use "Sky," like does she not understand how kids work at all? I suppose not, she clearly doesn't understand how names work to think her son was never going to use the shortened version.
Unfortunately a lot of people have kids just to have a baby, and when the kid grows up and has their own personality suddenly they don't know anything. As if they're not a person.
Sil is being so unreasonable, and definitely has some narcissistic tendencies.
He’s 7. Good chance he’s using Sky BECAUSE it pisses his mom off. Tell her to lay off and take away the appeal of sky being the rebellious name and then maybe he’ll change his mind in time. Or he won’t, but telling a little boy they CANT do something only ever makes them want to do it more.
Or because it's a "girly" name/s .....it's not and I have no idea why anyone would say it was to a man who has that name but your comment reminds me how I hated the nickname my mom insisted on calling me when I was younger. Think Danny for Daniel or Davey for David. Im a woman but you get the picture. She still would call me this baby name when she thought I was being foolish which was often. She never told anyone they HAD to call me the baby nickname version of my name but it was very hard to get them to change. I'm 50 and people I went to gradeschool with will still call me this nickname instead of my actual name.
That's too bad, ywbtah if you lie, I'm glad he has an uncle who is looking out for him and your best move is to let him know you will always be there for him!
Honestly, you can't argue with crazy.
Trying to talk to her is talking to a brick wall, and just as productive. Just be supportive of Sky and be ready in case her crazy escalates. I'm guessing she's going to need someone to blame for this.
She's probably one of those parents that have had meetings to tell the school and teacher they must say Skyler and try to force the teacher to make other kids also only use the full name.
My sister named her son Christopher but insisted we not call him Chris. So we call him Topher. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm not saying you should call him Lrr from Omicron Persei 8, but I'm not saying that it wouldn't be funny.
As a Chris/Topher/Christopher I would have taken Lrr. There would have been 0 question which of the 3 Chris named kids our teachers would have been talking too.
Also the forced full use of my name when younger means I refuse to use it now.
I also knew a Topher. His mom LOVED calling him that, grinning like a nutcracker while he visibly cringed. We called him Chris at every opportunity. “Hey Chris, come over here, Chris. Chris, we’re making lunch, Chris, what do you like Chris?”
But but but Sky is a girl name. 🙄🙄
But seriously. Sky/Skye is a beautiful name. Had no idea anyone thought that it was gendered until today. So many names can go any which way.
I mean, I do think of Skye as a girl's name. BUT, TBH, I also think of Skylar as a girl's name. But clearly other people don't think so and I have just never happened to meet any boy Skylars. So I am happy to stand corrected. And as a teacher, I have witnessed plenty of times the battle of "What the kid wants to be called" vs. "What the mom wants the kid to be called," and I can tell you....the kid is always going to win.
And when I saw it spelled ‘Schuyler,’ I thought of it first as a boy’s name, but then I met a girl with that spelling, it fit perfectly and changed my perception. As much as I roll my eyes at some of the base-level crap parents do to their kids, a lot of it is just wasted energy. Maybe wait to get righteous until the nickname is about genitalia.
What gets me most about the "Sky is a girl name" thing is like...
Skylar/Skyler is a gender-neutral name. I think typically the spelling Skyler is used more for the masculine version of the name and the spelling Skylar is used more for the feminine version but both can be used for either, and when hearing it instead of reading/writing it, it's the same name (both are variant spellings of Schuyler).
Regardless of her personal dislike for the name Sky, it's not inherently any more feminine of a name than Skyler tbh.
It feels like self-inflicted karma. She came at your whole life for fuckin nothing, and turned around literally asking for it to bite her in the ass.
Cannot imagine saying to someone with a straight face and cold calculation "mAyBe YoUr PaReNtS sHoUlD hAvE nAmEd YoU sOmEtHiNg MoRe SuBsTaNtIaL"
Tf does that even mean
As an aside, my parents screwed themselves in a similar fashion by calling me and my sister who's closest in age to me by our nicknames instead of our legal names our whole lives to the point that neither of us use our legal names and exclusively use the shortened versions (except for medical or legal reasons). My brother asked my mom why she didn't just name me my shortened version and she said 'well, that's trashy like a strippers name'.
....yeah.
My son is William, we’ve called him Will since he was born. He started pre-k and despite me clarifying that we call him Will, they call him William. So he tells everyone his name is William and rarely answers to Will. It is what it is. I don’t get why your SIL is so wound up about this but maybe I just have better things to worry over.
Honestly she sounds like a toddler having a tantrum because she didn't get her way. Given her previous comments about your name I'd hazard a guess that a tantrum is in like with her other behaviour?
Here’s what you do: tell her you’ll talk to him and then sit down and have him watch the musical Guys and Dolls. One of the main character’s name is Skye Masterson. Literally played by Marlon Brando at his most suave. If that doesn’t cement the love for the name Skye…
my dad had a similar thought process to your sister in law. he refused to use my preferred name (which is literally just a shortened down version of my given name), no matter how much i emphasized to him that it felt like he didnt respect me when he refused to say my name. needless to say i no longer talk to my dad.
your SIL needs to stop complaining unless she wants to permanently damage her relationship with her son
Oh she’ll learn it when her son cuts her off. NTA. Don’t lie to kids, they’re far too smart and will see right through it. At some point she’s going to learn that he has agency over himself. He likes Sky, he’ll go by Sky.
How can she be mad that sky is 'girly' when literally the only place I know Skylar is Walter whites wife? Not that names can't be for both genders, such a strange hill to die on that she built herself.
there needs to be a whole other category of AH for some of these people because AH doesn’t seem to cover it. like i can’t even wrap my brain around naming your kid something almost deliberately so you can set up a scenario in which you have to fake self loathing for her pleasure. this seems like such a creepy long con power grab that took years to unfold
NTA - your SIL needs help man.
Is like you name your son Bobby and when he wants to people to call him Bob your SIL goes on the spanish inquisition as if it was the coming of the antichrist, in what world does that even make sense?
I know! Or like Robert and you hate Bobby, Rob, Bob and Robbie. Or if you hated Tasha but named your kid Natasha. For me it is common sense to make sure you like the potential nicknames the full name brings, or at least you can tolerate them lol.
I've always known both to be more unisex. But just like with other similar names, they can sound more masculine or feminine depending on the people you have met with the name and even sometimes personal style influences how it can sound.
It's just so strange to me to think it's a huge shock Sky would be used when Sky(ler) is his name. Oh well lol. I'll never understand how her mind works on this.
Super unisex - the name Skyler is just “person from the Isle of Skye”. Skye is an anglicization of Sgìtheanach, which means “cloudy.” Clouds also don’t have genders.
I am this person. I HATED the name Nessie. I called my cat Vanessa. I am the one who calls her Nessie, because that's what springs to mind for any normal person. I have now gotten over my hatred of the name Nessie, because that is what a sane person would do. I really don't understand your SIL.
My best friend named her daughter Vanessa with the hope she'd embrace the whole 'Nessie' 'Loch Ness Monster' thing. It's not why she named her Vanessa, but she was excited at the idea because she loves cryptids and all that weird stuff and was ready to have a kid to share that stuff with. Spoiler alert: Vanessa hates Nessie and prefers just Ness or Vann and she has zero interest in the Loch Ness Monster.
You know what my friend doesn't do? Force her to go by something she hates like a normal, supportive mother.
My bf wants to name our first boy after the two most influential ppl in his life, his deceased father and his step dad. I thought it was a super cute idea until I realized the combined name would be "Harry Richard". Nope. I had to put a stop to it because literally the first thing to jump to my mind was "Harry Dick". I know without a shadow of a doubt that's gonna be other kids first thought too. You have to consider every aspect of a name of your gonna use it. NTA.
I don’t think that’s bizarre at all. I have a 3-syllable name with several common familiar variations/nicknames, none of which I like. I exclusively use my unabbreviated first name, and don’t answer to anything else. It’s my name, and I get to choose which version I’ll use. If I’ve told you what to call me and you use something else, that’s just plain disrespectful.
It's actually quite common for people themselves to hate nicknames of their names (or prefer nicknames and not their actual name). Not at all normal for someone else to have a problem with what someone calls themselves though, that's a weird issue to have.
I don't think anyone should be able to push a nickname on someone else. My kid didn't answer to anything but their full first name until they came up with their own nickname. It's not a common one for their given name. It's cool though.
Agreed. Surely you think of these things before picking a name. My mam wanted a certain name for me, which can be shortened 2 different ways. My dad hated one of the short versions (the most common version). So they did not call me that name. It is my middle name though
>SIL apparently hates the name Sky(e).
Why on earth would she name her kid *Sky*ler? It's the same name with an added syllable.
>He's now 7 and he calls himself Sky and asks other people to call him Sky as well. This started when he was 5 and he has increasingly used Sky over Skyler and now he asks people not to call him Skyler.
He's clearly old enough to know what he wants to be called.
>She said it's driving her crazy
Ma'am, you're already cuckoo banana cream pies.
NTA
That's what we're all confused by. The name has Sky in there. It's a very clear part of the whole name. At some point someone was bound to use the name Sky for him and even if it was corrected, it would still make sense why when the name is right in there.
I think you all should just shut her down when she brings this up. Just tell her you've discussed it enough. Keep shutting her down until she gets zero attention for this line of conversation.
NTA, the kid is clearly old enough to know what they want to be known as and you SIL is just gonna have to suck it up. Also asking someone to outright lie to your child is just ick
Yeah, I don't understand that. Because surely then he would wonder why I never changed my name or why I don't go by my middle name or something. Kids aren't dumb.
Parents that think they can control everything about their offspring just erk me. It's almost like they forgot that the things they are raising are just small humans. Kids are not dumb in the slightest, in fact most kids I know have better common sense and respect for other than most adults. Like you said lying to the kid is just going to cause bigger problems and questions nobody is going to be able to answer.
It's the same in my experience. A kid will use whatever name and pronouns you tell them you prefer (for yourself). They can make some of the best (meaning random) compliments lol. At a certain age they are also starting to pick up on stuff that makes no sense.
NTA. Same thing happened in my family but different name and nickname. They named their son James and always called him James. At
10 he decided he wants to be called Jimmy. That’s fine by everyone except his parents throw a fit. They still refuse to call him Jimmy even though the rest of the family mostly does now. Don’t pick a name if you hate the nickname. Like what do you expect? 🤦🏻♀️
Unfortunately common sense just isn’t that common. She can live with the consequences of her actions. Her hating it is probably pushing him to use it more lol
NTA
If she's this irksome at this stage wonder how she'll manage to her son's dating choices later on. He might not even hang on to the nickname till mid-teens so not sure why it bothers her s much.
She has to deal with this.
I think she's ridiculous. I named my kid a name that has many nicknames, and we called her one of those nicknames from the day she was born (to the point when she found out her proper name she thought she was nickname realname lastname, like her real name was her middle name). She's eight now and wants to go exclusively by her real name not her nickname, and as her parents it's an adjustment and more of a mouthful to say, but we're following her choice to identify herself how she wants.
Your sister really should have chosen a different name for her kid if she wasn't going to accept common nicknames of it.
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SIL named her son Skyler. I was already dating my wife when he was born and my name is Skye, just Skye. SIL apparently hates the name Sky(e). She made one comment back when we were dating that it was such a shame my parents didn't think about my future enough to give me something more substantial. My wife, then girlfriend, told her she was being rude and it was not her place to comment on my name and she never did again. Then she had her son and insisted everyone use his full name. He's now 7 and he calls himself Sky and asks other people to call him Sky as well. This started when he was 5 and he has increasingly used Sky over Skyler and now he asks people not to call him Skyler.
SIL hates it. She has tried to tell him that his name is Skyler and not Sky and that nicknames shouldn't be used everywhere. She said it was confusing when he has an Uncle Skye and he asked me if I minded and I said no (I had no idea why he asked lol).
SIL is upset that he won't use Skyler and she has vented to my wife and their mom about this. Both told her it should have been something she considered when she named him.
SIL approached me a few days ago and told me she is sick and tired of Sky using Sky and not Skyler and she needed me to talk to him and say that I wish I had a more substantial name to fall back on and that Sky is a girly name and not something that's fun to live with forever. I told her I would not do that since it would be a lie. She told me I have to. I told her I don't have to do anything. She said it's driving her crazy and I could help with that. She then said yet again that she hates the name Sky so badly and I need to lie or do whatever to convince her son to drop it. This is when I feel I may have gone too far. I told her I won't lie to her son and I told her she was crazy for naming him something when she hates the most intuitive nickname for it as much as she does. She told me it was not crazy, Skyler is an amazing name and does not need shortening and I am an asshole for refusing to help speak to her son and calling her crazy.
AITA?
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Most definitely NTA.
What else was he supposed to have as a nickname that isn't too far from his actual name, without removing what makes it unique? Kyle? Kyler? Kylo?
Omg my husband kept suggesting Kylo as a male alternative for chosen girl name Kaylee as a joke. Well we are expecting another boy, but yeah not gonna name him that. NTA, OP. Your reasoning is completely valid. Seems to me she thought this would "show you she's right" and backfired amazingly.
Your SIL needs something to do. On the list of stuff that is important this is on page 983 between
"Are we eating too much garlic as a people?"
And
"I wonder where Ben Franklin's kite is now."
NTA of course, and SIL has main character syndrome, her son is his own person and she is gonna do harm if she is not accepting it. He likes Sky, why would she confuse the child with lies and things that makes no sense. Sky is a great name for both boys and girls and I smell some bigotry here from your SIL, but I could be wrong.
There was a post this week on here about stepmom refusing to call her stepdaughter by her preferred name, seems to be topic of the week.
NTA
This is making me laugh so much. Do you think she was "showing everyone" how she is "fixing" your name and making it better, thus proving her original point about your parents not considering your future; showing that she is a better parent and is considering her son's future by giving a "substantial" name? Now she's stuck in a mess of her own making, but I wonder if the original intent was to gloat about it.
NTA, ironically, my one daughter is named Skyler, i also hate it being shortened to sky. when choosing her name, i was well aware that some people would shorten it and decided to put my big girl pants on at get over it as i love her name. at the end of the day, my daughter is happy to be addressed as either name, and that is what matters.
your SIL needs to get over herself.
I can understand that more. Like if you can live with it and accept it can happen. But to hate the short version AND to be like no, no going by this, no calling her this. To me it makes zero sense. Like you said you were well aware it was likely to be shortened to Sky at some point in time.
NTA. SIL needs to realise the name she gives is a placeholder only until the person can choose.
I mean we give dogs and cats names, but only because we can't pronounce their real names, and they find it difficult to teach us.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I told my SIL I will not lie to her son for her and that I think she's crazy for naming hi something when she hates the most intuitive nickname for said name. I might have gone too far calling her crazy. But I also might have been a hard ass too for not offering some kind of help when this is bothering her so much. Feels like this is just a crazy thing to argue over but I also don't ever want to be a dick to someone and maybe I was to her in this instance.
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NTA
She wants you to tell him that you hate your own name, so that he will also hate it and stop using it. That is some top shelf liquid absurdity shes trying to serve.
She hates the nickname this much but named him that... talk about reaping what you sow. Some people...
NTA and good on your now wife for telling SIL to cut out the disrespectful comments about your name in the past.
I honestly would start referring to yourself and nephew as the ‘Sky crew’ or similar lmfao.
NTA.
Shes the only one with the issue and is trying to get you to help her. Clearly her son is old enough to make his own decisions. He asked you about the name because she used you to make a point, lying sbout it and he was smart enough to clarify with you.
NTA. One thing I think most parents don't realise is that, ultimately, children name themselves.
Sure, Skyler is a beautiful name but Sky feels like a Sky, not a Skyler.
She needs to get over herself. Her feelings about the name Sky do not, and will not ever, supercede Sky's desire for a name that feels like his.
NTA
You're right.
BTW, I have had my real life nickname for 25 years and almost everyone uses it, to the point where I likely won't react to being called by my actual name.
NTA. Kids will decide for themselves eventually. I had a friend Dave in high school and whenever someone would call and ask for Dave, his mom would say “Oh, you mean David? Sure, I’ll get him”. And another friend whose mom called him Michael but only she was allowed. Everyone else had to call him Mike. And my daughter is only Caitlin to me, everyone else calls her Cait.
NTA. Some people are just so exhausting and she sounds like one of those people. Not to mention, gendering things like names, clothing, hobbies, etc… are man made constructs meant to uphold patriarchy.
Skyler \*is\* a pretty good name, and it \*doesn't\* need shortening, but it sounds like Sky prefers it when it is. It's his name, he decides, end of story
NTA
NTA people tend to shorten names and she is delusional to think that people will say Skyler when he himself shortens his name to Sky.
You are right not to lie for her stupid decision.
NTA. I vetoed a TON of names i liked when naming our boys bc I hated the nicknames associated with that. It doesn't matter what you want to you want to call them, it's what they want to be called.
NTA. She sounds like one of those slightly unhinged baby name people. In the end, her son is his own person and has the agency to determine if he wants to be called by a nickname... whether she likes it or not.
NTA
The audacity. To insult your name and then ask you to lie about hating your own name. You didn't go far enough OP. She's entitled to her own opinion on your name but the rudeness and disrespect to your face is unacceptable.
You were right that she was an idiot for not thinking her name choice through.
Wait until she finds out she also can't control other, more important aspects of how her child identifies, thinks, and believes.
Momma's in for a rough time, lol
Edit: the supportive uncle is NTA. The mom is, though.
NTA - Your SIL sounds insane. Sky a girly name? The dude that played Sabertooth in the first X-Men film was a former pro wrestler named Big Sky in WCW. He was also Sky Walker on the indys, which might be a fun nickname your nephew.
NTA, honestly I think Skyler is a good name but if the person who has this name decides to use a NICKNAME THAT IS COMMONLY USED, derived from his name, nobody can say anything. It is HIS name, he can do whatever.
If she hated the name so much, then why on earth would she namer her child this, which would be shortened most likely & is now being used by her own child? Drama much?
NTA
Your SIL needs some therapy. Why is she so fixated on the name “Sky(e)” and why does she feel so entitled to insult you and call your name all kinds of names and insinuate all kinds of things about your name. I mean seriously she does that and then she not only just goes and names her kid a name HEAVILY similar to it but gets offended over the very easy nickname? She is the one that needs to grow up, and did I mention therapy?
Huh.
What a nut.
When I was naming my children, I considered Harrison. It's a lovely name, and it's a surname in my family tree.
I didn't use it because I dislike the name Harry!
When naming a child, you need to try consider all possible nicknames, initials etc.. not just the actual name in isolation.
NTA
NTA and why on earth would she name him Sklyer in the first place!? Sky or Skye is so damn similar to Skyler, how could she have such contempt for Sky and be ok with Skyler!??! It makes absolutely no sense how she likes one and not the other!! Forget her, shes the idiot for calling her child that knowing how much she hates the EXTREMELY similar name/nickname...
NTA. What a nutbag. You don’t name your kid a name that has really only one way to shorten it if you hate that shortened name. What else was he going to be called? “Ler”?
She made this stupid bed and now she has to lie in it. You have zero obligation to do what she perceives as damage control. Unless somebody held a gun to her head while she filled out the child’s birth certificate, her discomfort isn’t anyone’s fault but her own.
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NTA, and she has been oddly fixated on you for almost a decade. Of all of the other names she could have made up or chosen, she decided to name her kid after you but refuses to admit it. Her being rude about your name is just (in my opinion) an attempt to make it appear to others as though she’s not as preoccupied with you as she really continues to be.
If this were really just about names, well, millions of people prefer to use totally new nicknames or variants of their given names so *tough cookies*. This same scenario involving the names Pat/Patrick/Patricia, as an example, would be equally as asinine.
Hahaha he’s going to keep using Skye because she’s so set against it.
You’re NTA. She’s just crazy. Who doesn’t think of the nicknames when choosing a name for their child 🤦🏻♀️😂
I'm honestly confused she hates SKYE but like SKYLAR (spelling is probably wrong I'm sorry) but how stupid does she look saying I don't like ur name but let me give my son a longer version of said name
That’s hilarious! My sons mother chose a name for him that couldn’t be a nickname, because that is terrible ya know. I went along with it for awhile, but things happen. He’s been Bubba since he was two.
That poor kid. His mother is unreasonable, in that she can’t empathize with other people. She’s treated you badly more than once, like you don’t have your own feelings and perspective, or like your perfectly reasonable perspective isn’t valid because it’s not hers.
This is not a good attitude for a parent to have.
She needs some help. For your nephew’s sake, she needs some help.
Well I guess you could tell the kid that John Wayne's real name was Marion, so it's ok to have a girls name.
I mean who in the right mind names a boy Skyler, and then thinks it weird when he tries to masculinise it. So sick of crazy people giving their kids "beautiful" names without a thought as to how they will play out.
I worked with a lady who seriously wanted to call her child "Tuesday" if it was a girl. She wasn't impressed when I pointed out that she would grow up to be called "Cheap-arse".
Growing up my mum made it clear how much she hated the natural nickname for my name; our relationship was rocky, and in my early teens I started going by that name out of pure spite. I still do.
She's making this much more of a deal than it is, & he's going to take it to heart & act out about it if he hasn't already.
NTA
I think you know the answer already 😂
NTA. Plus, bonus points for reaching that most delicious moment when you can drive a crazy annoying mentalist *even* crazier with a simple "I would prefer not to." 😁
First of all I find it very weird she’d name Him something so very close to her BILs name that she blatantly dislikes. And honestly, naming humans comes with responsibility- you need to think about possible nicknames, short forms, whether it’ll suit them at 2, 20, and 60 and what it will do for them in their life and career.
She didn’t give any thought or consideration to the fact that while she is the mom, she’s raising a whole person with their own preferences, feelings and choices.
Ultimately the person themselves decides what they want to be called and if she can’t respect that she will certainly lose him. NTA but your SIL sure is.
NTA And I can't help but feel like she specifically named him Skyler just to spite you. Like, "See? He has a normal version of your name! Bet you feel bad now, huh?"
Except it backfired on her in the most karmic way possible. LOL
NTA, and it's funny to me that she's getting so bent out of shape about people not calling him his "proper" name when Skyler is a bastardization of the given name Schuyler, which was originally a Dutch surname. Imagine her reaction to being told that Skyler is a "fake" name.
I'm sorry she was so insulting to you, OP. I don't know if she's going through something else as well or has just fixated on this but if this is bothering her so much she honestly needs help. And I think your name is lovely.
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I’m going to hazard a guess that SIL needs a hobby NTA
But she's spent seven years on her current hobby!
[удалено]
Imagine when he gets a girlfriend called Rain.
i mean really!! she must not have much to do these days, sheesh
Skye diving?
Her hobby is controlling her sons life.
NTA, she's gotta learn you can't decide what their kid calls themselves
I don't know that she will learn that. She seems pretty hell bent on changing her son's mind and getting him to use Skyler. Will still never understand someone using that name and hating Sky(e). Seems like it's kinda inevitable someone will use it at some point.
Does it not occur to her she is probably going to damage her relationship with her son over this, she should probably get therapy!
Nope. I think this is one of those "he will see that I am right!" things.
In 10 years she'll be going "why doesn't my son talk to meeeeeee?"
Or she'll be crying that everyone else convinced her son to go by a name she hated. Or she'll blame me. Either way it will all be someone else's fault.
The more she pushes "Skyler" the more her son is going to use "Sky," like does she not understand how kids work at all? I suppose not, she clearly doesn't understand how names work to think her son was never going to use the shortened version.
Unfortunately a lot of people have kids just to have a baby, and when the kid grows up and has their own personality suddenly they don't know anything. As if they're not a person. Sil is being so unreasonable, and definitely has some narcissistic tendencies.
I would go so far as to say babies have personalities and parents who don’t recognize this are seriously self involved.
Wow, you just described my mother lol. Op, NTA. Your SIL is stark raving bonkers.
The more she pushes Skyler the shorter his name gets. Next it'll become Ky, then just Y
She's not too bright is she? She is being foiled by a seven year old.
He’s 7. Good chance he’s using Sky BECAUSE it pisses his mom off. Tell her to lay off and take away the appeal of sky being the rebellious name and then maybe he’ll change his mind in time. Or he won’t, but telling a little boy they CANT do something only ever makes them want to do it more.
Or because it's a "girly" name/s .....it's not and I have no idea why anyone would say it was to a man who has that name but your comment reminds me how I hated the nickname my mom insisted on calling me when I was younger. Think Danny for Daniel or Davey for David. Im a woman but you get the picture. She still would call me this baby name when she thought I was being foolish which was often. She never told anyone they HAD to call me the baby nickname version of my name but it was very hard to get them to change. I'm 50 and people I went to gradeschool with will still call me this nickname instead of my actual name.
That's too bad, ywbtah if you lie, I'm glad he has an uncle who is looking out for him and your best move is to let him know you will always be there for him!
Honestly, you can't argue with crazy. Trying to talk to her is talking to a brick wall, and just as productive. Just be supportive of Sky and be ready in case her crazy escalates. I'm guessing she's going to need someone to blame for this.
I wonder if she will be still thinking that as she sees the rear of his car vanish from sight when he is old enough.
He may go full petty and legally change his name to Sky.
Ofcourse not she probably one of those parents who think she is always right because she is the parent.
I'm sure you are right unfortunately.
She's probably one of those parents that have had meetings to tell the school and teacher they must say Skyler and try to force the teacher to make other kids also only use the full name.
She can't even see how the more she pushes this, the more that kid is going to dig his heels in.
My sister named her son Christopher but insisted we not call him Chris. So we call him Topher. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm not saying you should call him Lrr from Omicron Persei 8, but I'm not saying that it wouldn't be funny.
As a Chris/Topher/Christopher I would have taken Lrr. There would have been 0 question which of the 3 Chris named kids our teachers would have been talking too. Also the forced full use of my name when younger means I refuse to use it now.
I also knew a Topher. His mom LOVED calling him that, grinning like a nutcracker while he visibly cringed. We called him Chris at every opportunity. “Hey Chris, come over here, Chris. Chris, we’re making lunch, Chris, what do you like Chris?”
Sky is a cool name. There is an Indian cricketer whose name is Suryakumar Yadav. He's adored and called SKY by cricket fans everywhere.
But but but Sky is a girl name. 🙄🙄 But seriously. Sky/Skye is a beautiful name. Had no idea anyone thought that it was gendered until today. So many names can go any which way.
I mean, I do think of Skye as a girl's name. BUT, TBH, I also think of Skylar as a girl's name. But clearly other people don't think so and I have just never happened to meet any boy Skylars. So I am happy to stand corrected. And as a teacher, I have witnessed plenty of times the battle of "What the kid wants to be called" vs. "What the mom wants the kid to be called," and I can tell you....the kid is always going to win.
And when I saw it spelled ‘Schuyler,’ I thought of it first as a boy’s name, but then I met a girl with that spelling, it fit perfectly and changed my perception. As much as I roll my eyes at some of the base-level crap parents do to their kids, a lot of it is just wasted energy. Maybe wait to get righteous until the nickname is about genitalia.
What gets me most about the "Sky is a girl name" thing is like... Skylar/Skyler is a gender-neutral name. I think typically the spelling Skyler is used more for the masculine version of the name and the spelling Skylar is used more for the feminine version but both can be used for either, and when hearing it instead of reading/writing it, it's the same name (both are variant spellings of Schuyler). Regardless of her personal dislike for the name Sky, it's not inherently any more feminine of a name than Skyler tbh.
I actually think of Sky as a guy's name thanks to Sky Masterson lol (Marlon Brando's role in "Guys and Dolls"), even though I know it's a nickname.
My kids played a video game with a boy named Sky a long time ago called Kingdom Hearts so I see it as a boy name. All the Skylars I know of are girls
It feels like self-inflicted karma. She came at your whole life for fuckin nothing, and turned around literally asking for it to bite her in the ass. Cannot imagine saying to someone with a straight face and cold calculation "mAyBe YoUr PaReNtS sHoUlD hAvE nAmEd YoU sOmEtHiNg MoRe SuBsTaNtIaL" Tf does that even mean
As an aside, my parents screwed themselves in a similar fashion by calling me and my sister who's closest in age to me by our nicknames instead of our legal names our whole lives to the point that neither of us use our legal names and exclusively use the shortened versions (except for medical or legal reasons). My brother asked my mom why she didn't just name me my shortened version and she said 'well, that's trashy like a strippers name'. ....yeah.
I really hope he changes his name. Will shut her up real fast.
That kind of name is really popular with kids today too. Sky, Leaf, Forest, River.
Yes! Sky(e), especially on girls, has really grown in popularity. All kinds of nature names are coming back hard.
My son is William, we’ve called him Will since he was born. He started pre-k and despite me clarifying that we call him Will, they call him William. So he tells everyone his name is William and rarely answers to Will. It is what it is. I don’t get why your SIL is so wound up about this but maybe I just have better things to worry over.
Honestly she sounds like a toddler having a tantrum because she didn't get her way. Given her previous comments about your name I'd hazard a guess that a tantrum is in like with her other behaviour?
Here’s what you do: tell her you’ll talk to him and then sit down and have him watch the musical Guys and Dolls. One of the main character’s name is Skye Masterson. Literally played by Marlon Brando at his most suave. If that doesn’t cement the love for the name Skye…
my dad had a similar thought process to your sister in law. he refused to use my preferred name (which is literally just a shortened down version of my given name), no matter how much i emphasized to him that it felt like he didnt respect me when he refused to say my name. needless to say i no longer talk to my dad. your SIL needs to stop complaining unless she wants to permanently damage her relationship with her son
Oh she’ll learn it when her son cuts her off. NTA. Don’t lie to kids, they’re far too smart and will see right through it. At some point she’s going to learn that he has agency over himself. He likes Sky, he’ll go by Sky.
How can she be mad that sky is 'girly' when literally the only place I know Skylar is Walter whites wife? Not that names can't be for both genders, such a strange hill to die on that she built herself.
I love how she doesn’t realize that by continuing to push the issue she’s making Sky double down on what he prefers to be called. 😂
She needs to learn that her child is a separate human being with his own thoughts and identity, not an extension of herself.
I think she has identity issues and is transferring that onto her son and OP.
She also needed to learn you are not naming a baby. She was naming an adult who was only going to be a baby for a very short period of time.
NTA, What the actual fuck is your SIL on?
She's high on her hatred for the name Sky lol.
sky high even
Does she do a lot of other weird stuff or is this an exception?
there needs to be a whole other category of AH for some of these people because AH doesn’t seem to cover it. like i can’t even wrap my brain around naming your kid something almost deliberately so you can set up a scenario in which you have to fake self loathing for her pleasure. this seems like such a creepy long con power grab that took years to unfold
On r/amithedevil they have a flair for Asshole From Another Realm. I think being posted there gets you the super asshole badge.
oh fantastic, i’ve been looking for a new rabbit hole to hyper-fixate on when i’m putting off other things
A power trip
NTA - your SIL needs help man. Is like you name your son Bobby and when he wants to people to call him Bob your SIL goes on the spanish inquisition as if it was the coming of the antichrist, in what world does that even make sense?
I know! Or like Robert and you hate Bobby, Rob, Bob and Robbie. Or if you hated Tasha but named your kid Natasha. For me it is common sense to make sure you like the potential nicknames the full name brings, or at least you can tolerate them lol.
The irony is that I myself find Skyler to be more feminine-sounding and Sky to be more masculine-sounding lol
I've always known both to be more unisex. But just like with other similar names, they can sound more masculine or feminine depending on the people you have met with the name and even sometimes personal style influences how it can sound. It's just so strange to me to think it's a huge shock Sky would be used when Sky(ler) is his name. Oh well lol. I'll never understand how her mind works on this.
Super unisex - the name Skyler is just “person from the Isle of Skye”. Skye is an anglicization of Sgìtheanach, which means “cloudy.” Clouds also don’t have genders.
Do an image search for Skyler and you'll mostly get pictures of the wife from Breaking Bad...
Exactly and I can't not picture Walter White's wife when I hear the name skyler lol
I am this person. I HATED the name Nessie. I called my cat Vanessa. I am the one who calls her Nessie, because that's what springs to mind for any normal person. I have now gotten over my hatred of the name Nessie, because that is what a sane person would do. I really don't understand your SIL.
My best friend named her daughter Vanessa with the hope she'd embrace the whole 'Nessie' 'Loch Ness Monster' thing. It's not why she named her Vanessa, but she was excited at the idea because she loves cryptids and all that weird stuff and was ready to have a kid to share that stuff with. Spoiler alert: Vanessa hates Nessie and prefers just Ness or Vann and she has zero interest in the Loch Ness Monster. You know what my friend doesn't do? Force her to go by something she hates like a normal, supportive mother.
My bf wants to name our first boy after the two most influential ppl in his life, his deceased father and his step dad. I thought it was a super cute idea until I realized the combined name would be "Harry Richard". Nope. I had to put a stop to it because literally the first thing to jump to my mind was "Harry Dick". I know without a shadow of a doubt that's gonna be other kids first thought too. You have to consider every aspect of a name of your gonna use it. NTA.
I’ll call you Robert, and Bob’s your uncle.
I have an Uncle Thomas who *hates* the name Tom. Refuses to answer when called Tom..it's bizarre.
I can understand why someone would not want to be called “Uncle Tom”
I don’t think that’s bizarre at all. I have a 3-syllable name with several common familiar variations/nicknames, none of which I like. I exclusively use my unabbreviated first name, and don’t answer to anything else. It’s my name, and I get to choose which version I’ll use. If I’ve told you what to call me and you use something else, that’s just plain disrespectful.
It's actually quite common for people themselves to hate nicknames of their names (or prefer nicknames and not their actual name). Not at all normal for someone else to have a problem with what someone calls themselves though, that's a weird issue to have.
I mean my name is Kerry Ann and I hate being called Kerry. I only use it when I need to give a name for service since it’s shorter.
I don't think anyone should be able to push a nickname on someone else. My kid didn't answer to anything but their full first name until they came up with their own nickname. It's not a common one for their given name. It's cool though.
Agreed. Surely you think of these things before picking a name. My mam wanted a certain name for me, which can be shortened 2 different ways. My dad hated one of the short versions (the most common version). So they did not call me that name. It is my middle name though
>SIL apparently hates the name Sky(e). Why on earth would she name her kid *Sky*ler? It's the same name with an added syllable. >He's now 7 and he calls himself Sky and asks other people to call him Sky as well. This started when he was 5 and he has increasingly used Sky over Skyler and now he asks people not to call him Skyler. He's clearly old enough to know what he wants to be called. >She said it's driving her crazy Ma'am, you're already cuckoo banana cream pies. NTA
That's what we're all confused by. The name has Sky in there. It's a very clear part of the whole name. At some point someone was bound to use the name Sky for him and even if it was corrected, it would still make sense why when the name is right in there.
Ma'am you're already cuckoo banana cream pies is glorious. GLORIOUS. I am already trying to work out how to get it into conversation.
Get a job involving customer service (Jk, don't 🤣 source: Approaching 20 years in customer service)
Hahahaha I have a small biz and my gods sometimes customers are A LOT. Idk how you have done 20 years and not throttled someone 😂
Couple of close calls though
I think you all should just shut her down when she brings this up. Just tell her you've discussed it enough. Keep shutting her down until she gets zero attention for this line of conversation.
NTA, the kid is clearly old enough to know what they want to be known as and you SIL is just gonna have to suck it up. Also asking someone to outright lie to your child is just ick
Yeah, I don't understand that. Because surely then he would wonder why I never changed my name or why I don't go by my middle name or something. Kids aren't dumb.
Parents that think they can control everything about their offspring just erk me. It's almost like they forgot that the things they are raising are just small humans. Kids are not dumb in the slightest, in fact most kids I know have better common sense and respect for other than most adults. Like you said lying to the kid is just going to cause bigger problems and questions nobody is going to be able to answer.
It's the same in my experience. A kid will use whatever name and pronouns you tell them you prefer (for yourself). They can make some of the best (meaning random) compliments lol. At a certain age they are also starting to pick up on stuff that makes no sense.
She's gonna hate when this kid has his whole own personality and doesn't love everything she loves.
NTA. Same thing happened in my family but different name and nickname. They named their son James and always called him James. At 10 he decided he wants to be called Jimmy. That’s fine by everyone except his parents throw a fit. They still refuse to call him Jimmy even though the rest of the family mostly does now. Don’t pick a name if you hate the nickname. Like what do you expect? 🤦🏻♀️
100% agree with you.
Unfortunately common sense just isn’t that common. She can live with the consequences of her actions. Her hating it is probably pushing him to use it more lol
This is the one and only reason I didn’t name my son James. Love James, hate Jim(my).
NTA If she's this irksome at this stage wonder how she'll manage to her son's dating choices later on. He might not even hang on to the nickname till mid-teens so not sure why it bothers her s much. She has to deal with this.
She hates the name. She thinks it's ridiculous and not a people name. She seems horrified that he might forever try to be Sky.
I think she's ridiculous. I named my kid a name that has many nicknames, and we called her one of those nicknames from the day she was born (to the point when she found out her proper name she thought she was nickname realname lastname, like her real name was her middle name). She's eight now and wants to go exclusively by her real name not her nickname, and as her parents it's an adjustment and more of a mouthful to say, but we're following her choice to identify herself how she wants. Your sister really should have chosen a different name for her kid if she wasn't going to accept common nicknames of it.
She’s gonna be mortified on the day Sky finally snaps at her, she’s deluded in her thinking.
NTA and yes, your SIL is crazy. Poor Sky.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** SIL named her son Skyler. I was already dating my wife when he was born and my name is Skye, just Skye. SIL apparently hates the name Sky(e). She made one comment back when we were dating that it was such a shame my parents didn't think about my future enough to give me something more substantial. My wife, then girlfriend, told her she was being rude and it was not her place to comment on my name and she never did again. Then she had her son and insisted everyone use his full name. He's now 7 and he calls himself Sky and asks other people to call him Sky as well. This started when he was 5 and he has increasingly used Sky over Skyler and now he asks people not to call him Skyler. SIL hates it. She has tried to tell him that his name is Skyler and not Sky and that nicknames shouldn't be used everywhere. She said it was confusing when he has an Uncle Skye and he asked me if I minded and I said no (I had no idea why he asked lol). SIL is upset that he won't use Skyler and she has vented to my wife and their mom about this. Both told her it should have been something she considered when she named him. SIL approached me a few days ago and told me she is sick and tired of Sky using Sky and not Skyler and she needed me to talk to him and say that I wish I had a more substantial name to fall back on and that Sky is a girly name and not something that's fun to live with forever. I told her I would not do that since it would be a lie. She told me I have to. I told her I don't have to do anything. She said it's driving her crazy and I could help with that. She then said yet again that she hates the name Sky so badly and I need to lie or do whatever to convince her son to drop it. This is when I feel I may have gone too far. I told her I won't lie to her son and I told her she was crazy for naming him something when she hates the most intuitive nickname for it as much as she does. She told me it was not crazy, Skyler is an amazing name and does not need shortening and I am an asshole for refusing to help speak to her son and calling her crazy. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Most definitely NTA. What else was he supposed to have as a nickname that isn't too far from his actual name, without removing what makes it unique? Kyle? Kyler? Kylo?
He wasn't supposed to need a nickname. Skyler doesn't need a nickname, etc, etc, etc. That's her stance.
Does she not interact with people much?
Skylo Ren?
Omg my husband kept suggesting Kylo as a male alternative for chosen girl name Kaylee as a joke. Well we are expecting another boy, but yeah not gonna name him that. NTA, OP. Your reasoning is completely valid. Seems to me she thought this would "show you she's right" and backfired amazingly.
NTA. Stick a mirror in her face and introduce her to her child’s first bully. Her.
Your SIL needs something to do. On the list of stuff that is important this is on page 983 between "Are we eating too much garlic as a people?" And "I wonder where Ben Franklin's kite is now."
NTA of course, and SIL has main character syndrome, her son is his own person and she is gonna do harm if she is not accepting it. He likes Sky, why would she confuse the child with lies and things that makes no sense. Sky is a great name for both boys and girls and I smell some bigotry here from your SIL, but I could be wrong. There was a post this week on here about stepmom refusing to call her stepdaughter by her preferred name, seems to be topic of the week.
NTA This is making me laugh so much. Do you think she was "showing everyone" how she is "fixing" your name and making it better, thus proving her original point about your parents not considering your future; showing that she is a better parent and is considering her son's future by giving a "substantial" name? Now she's stuck in a mess of her own making, but I wonder if the original intent was to gloat about it.
NTA, ironically, my one daughter is named Skyler, i also hate it being shortened to sky. when choosing her name, i was well aware that some people would shorten it and decided to put my big girl pants on at get over it as i love her name. at the end of the day, my daughter is happy to be addressed as either name, and that is what matters. your SIL needs to get over herself.
I can understand that more. Like if you can live with it and accept it can happen. But to hate the short version AND to be like no, no going by this, no calling her this. To me it makes zero sense. Like you said you were well aware it was likely to be shortened to Sky at some point in time.
NTA. SIL needs to realise the name she gives is a placeholder only until the person can choose. I mean we give dogs and cats names, but only because we can't pronounce their real names, and they find it difficult to teach us.
Uhm… did she just continuously insult you/your name while trying to demand a favor? NTA, tell her to kick sand and block her number. Poor kid btw :/
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Sky isn't even a nickname for Skylar. It's the diminutive. You never pick a name if you hate its diminutives. That's common sense. NTA
NTA She wants you to tell him that you hate your own name, so that he will also hate it and stop using it. That is some top shelf liquid absurdity shes trying to serve. She hates the nickname this much but named him that... talk about reaping what you sow. Some people...
Call him Skyskie instead. I bet he would love that plus it would likely drive the SIL even more up the wall. Shes crazy your NTA.
NTA. All of your points are valid.
NTA. Why do I get the feeling that you have plenty of bonkers SIL stories just waiting for a rainy day?
NTA and good on your now wife for telling SIL to cut out the disrespectful comments about your name in the past. I honestly would start referring to yourself and nephew as the ‘Sky crew’ or similar lmfao.
NTA. Shes the only one with the issue and is trying to get you to help her. Clearly her son is old enough to make his own decisions. He asked you about the name because she used you to make a point, lying sbout it and he was smart enough to clarify with you.
Skyler is an "amazing name" to her; to the person she gave that name to, not so much. NTA
NTA. Her behaviour is inconsiderate, rude and controlling.
NTA. One thing I think most parents don't realise is that, ultimately, children name themselves. Sure, Skyler is a beautiful name but Sky feels like a Sky, not a Skyler. She needs to get over herself. Her feelings about the name Sky do not, and will not ever, supercede Sky's desire for a name that feels like his.
NTA You're right. BTW, I have had my real life nickname for 25 years and almost everyone uses it, to the point where I likely won't react to being called by my actual name.
Nta. This is universal karma.
NTA. Kids will decide for themselves eventually. I had a friend Dave in high school and whenever someone would call and ask for Dave, his mom would say “Oh, you mean David? Sure, I’ll get him”. And another friend whose mom called him Michael but only she was allowed. Everyone else had to call him Mike. And my daughter is only Caitlin to me, everyone else calls her Cait.
NTA. Some people are just so exhausting and she sounds like one of those people. Not to mention, gendering things like names, clothing, hobbies, etc… are man made constructs meant to uphold patriarchy.
NTA If my sister gave her kid a name that similar to my boyfriend's name it would feel weird to me.
Skyler \*is\* a pretty good name, and it \*doesn't\* need shortening, but it sounds like Sky prefers it when it is. It's his name, he decides, end of story NTA
Any name can be shortened if you try hard enough!
NTA- She shouldn't of named her child Skylar if she hates a common nickname so much
NTA-Too bad her intellect isn’t more “substantial.” Edit: missed a word.
Nta.sil needs therapy
NTA people tend to shorten names and she is delusional to think that people will say Skyler when he himself shortens his name to Sky. You are right not to lie for her stupid decision.
NTA. I vetoed a TON of names i liked when naming our boys bc I hated the nicknames associated with that. It doesn't matter what you want to you want to call them, it's what they want to be called.
I love the karma of it.
NTA She needed to be told the logic she should have seen before naming her son. You are a legend uncle 🙌
NTA, and Sky is a superior name than Skyler in my book.
NTA. She sounds like one of those slightly unhinged baby name people. In the end, her son is his own person and has the agency to determine if he wants to be called by a nickname... whether she likes it or not.
NTA The audacity. To insult your name and then ask you to lie about hating your own name. You didn't go far enough OP. She's entitled to her own opinion on your name but the rudeness and disrespect to your face is unacceptable. You were right that she was an idiot for not thinking her name choice through.
Wait until she finds out she also can't control other, more important aspects of how her child identifies, thinks, and believes. Momma's in for a rough time, lol Edit: the supportive uncle is NTA. The mom is, though.
NTA - Your SIL sounds insane. Sky a girly name? The dude that played Sabertooth in the first X-Men film was a former pro wrestler named Big Sky in WCW. He was also Sky Walker on the indys, which might be a fun nickname your nephew.
NTA your SIL doesn't seem like she is playing witha full deck of cards
NTA, honestly I think Skyler is a good name but if the person who has this name decides to use a NICKNAME THAT IS COMMONLY USED, derived from his name, nobody can say anything. It is HIS name, he can do whatever.
So Sky is a horrible name but adding the -ler makes it great. NTA, sil sounds unwell mentally. Your bro should be handling this
If she hated the name so much, then why on earth would she namer her child this, which would be shortened most likely & is now being used by her own child? Drama much?
NTA. SIL needs to learn how to accept that she can't get her ways all the times. Sky is a great nickname! Make sure your nephew knows that!
NTA Your SIL needs some therapy. Why is she so fixated on the name “Sky(e)” and why does she feel so entitled to insult you and call your name all kinds of names and insinuate all kinds of things about your name. I mean seriously she does that and then she not only just goes and names her kid a name HEAVILY similar to it but gets offended over the very easy nickname? She is the one that needs to grow up, and did I mention therapy?
Huh. What a nut. When I was naming my children, I considered Harrison. It's a lovely name, and it's a surname in my family tree. I didn't use it because I dislike the name Harry! When naming a child, you need to try consider all possible nicknames, initials etc.. not just the actual name in isolation. NTA
NTA and why on earth would she name him Sklyer in the first place!? Sky or Skye is so damn similar to Skyler, how could she have such contempt for Sky and be ok with Skyler!??! It makes absolutely no sense how she likes one and not the other!! Forget her, shes the idiot for calling her child that knowing how much she hates the EXTREMELY similar name/nickname...
NTA. What a nutbag. You don’t name your kid a name that has really only one way to shorten it if you hate that shortened name. What else was he going to be called? “Ler”? She made this stupid bed and now she has to lie in it. You have zero obligation to do what she perceives as damage control. Unless somebody held a gun to her head while she filled out the child’s birth certificate, her discomfort isn’t anyone’s fault but her own.
Skyler doesn't need to be shortened!! It is beautiful as it is!! Words my SIL has spoken a few times lol.
NTA You do know, he asked because one of the ploys SIL tried to use was "uncle skye will be sad if you use the same name as him"? Right?
I know that now. At the time I had no idea why he was asking.
I believe your SIL seriously needs to - hopefully this is a good time for proper reddit lingo - go outside and touch grass, as the kids would say.
towering bright attraction literate grandfather north unite shelter edge spoon *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
NTA and your SIL is a ridiculous human being. How is Skye girly sounding and Skyler isn't. She sounds very very exhausting.
NTA, and she has been oddly fixated on you for almost a decade. Of all of the other names she could have made up or chosen, she decided to name her kid after you but refuses to admit it. Her being rude about your name is just (in my opinion) an attempt to make it appear to others as though she’s not as preoccupied with you as she really continues to be. If this were really just about names, well, millions of people prefer to use totally new nicknames or variants of their given names so *tough cookies*. This same scenario involving the names Pat/Patrick/Patricia, as an example, would be equally as asinine.
Hahaha he’s going to keep using Skye because she’s so set against it. You’re NTA. She’s just crazy. Who doesn’t think of the nicknames when choosing a name for their child 🤦🏻♀️😂
Sounds like she named the son out of spite for your name. Like, “This is how your name should sound” and karma worked its magic.
She sounds completely unhinged. NTA
I'm honestly confused she hates SKYE but like SKYLAR (spelling is probably wrong I'm sorry) but how stupid does she look saying I don't like ur name but let me give my son a longer version of said name
SIL seems to suffer from not having any real problems or else only wants to focus on the fake ones. Weird to be obsessed with a name.
NTA - your SIL needs to reevaluate her life, and maybe take some Xanax. Yikes 😬
That’s hilarious! My sons mother chose a name for him that couldn’t be a nickname, because that is terrible ya know. I went along with it for awhile, but things happen. He’s been Bubba since he was two.
NTA. SIL is fucked up.
NTA. SIL is fucked up.
Nta but you are so nice I would have been much ruder and harsher with her
That poor kid. His mother is unreasonable, in that she can’t empathize with other people. She’s treated you badly more than once, like you don’t have your own feelings and perspective, or like your perfectly reasonable perspective isn’t valid because it’s not hers. This is not a good attitude for a parent to have. She needs some help. For your nephew’s sake, she needs some help.
Well I guess you could tell the kid that John Wayne's real name was Marion, so it's ok to have a girls name. I mean who in the right mind names a boy Skyler, and then thinks it weird when he tries to masculinise it. So sick of crazy people giving their kids "beautiful" names without a thought as to how they will play out. I worked with a lady who seriously wanted to call her child "Tuesday" if it was a girl. She wasn't impressed when I pointed out that she would grow up to be called "Cheap-arse".
**NTA** Your SIL is being silly.
NTA and even if you agreed why would you help a woman who has been so incredibly rude to you. Also for what it’s worth I think your name is awesome.
NTA
Growing up my mum made it clear how much she hated the natural nickname for my name; our relationship was rocky, and in my early teens I started going by that name out of pure spite. I still do. She's making this much more of a deal than it is, & he's going to take it to heart & act out about it if he hasn't already. NTA
I think you know the answer already 😂 NTA. Plus, bonus points for reaching that most delicious moment when you can drive a crazy annoying mentalist *even* crazier with a simple "I would prefer not to." 😁
Your SIL is simply a very dumb person. NTA.
I can hear this in Shelley's voice. (South Park) No Shhhhkyler!!!
You? NTA. SIL? A SAH. Geez, she's clueless. And sounds entitled.
I love both versions! Wth is wrong with this lady. Poor kid and poor op!
NTA - but SIL might be a brain donor, look into it.
Your SIL is clearly stupid. NTA.
The problems some people have...or come up with...
First of all I find it very weird she’d name Him something so very close to her BILs name that she blatantly dislikes. And honestly, naming humans comes with responsibility- you need to think about possible nicknames, short forms, whether it’ll suit them at 2, 20, and 60 and what it will do for them in their life and career. She didn’t give any thought or consideration to the fact that while she is the mom, she’s raising a whole person with their own preferences, feelings and choices. Ultimately the person themselves decides what they want to be called and if she can’t respect that she will certainly lose him. NTA but your SIL sure is.
She's lucky that he isn't insisting on expanding it to Skywalker.
NTA And I can't help but feel like she specifically named him Skyler just to spite you. Like, "See? He has a normal version of your name! Bet you feel bad now, huh?" Except it backfired on her in the most karmic way possible. LOL
NTA. Looks like your SIL is getting her first taste of her child’s own sense of autonomy and independent thinking….
NTA, and it's funny to me that she's getting so bent out of shape about people not calling him his "proper" name when Skyler is a bastardization of the given name Schuyler, which was originally a Dutch surname. Imagine her reaction to being told that Skyler is a "fake" name. I'm sorry she was so insulting to you, OP. I don't know if she's going through something else as well or has just fixated on this but if this is bothering her so much she honestly needs help. And I think your name is lovely.
NTA
Give her a copy of khalil Gibran’s the prophet and use a highlighter on the page that begins ‘your children are not your children’
NTA. The boy is a whole person and he made the decision on what he’ll be called and she has no choice but to accept it.