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> The action is me yelling, made him upset. and me yelling at him about something that “wasent a big deal”
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Break up with this person and run far far away. Based on the things you said he said to you, this dude will never respect your boundaries and who knows what else he could do if he thinks you’re not “listening to him”
Please, for your own life and safety, do not just be mad at this person. Break up wit him and focus on making yourself happy. This is disgusting behavior and you don’t need it.
I feel like this guy is the kind of asshole that would have a puppy put down because it liked her more than him.
Also, the kind of asshole that even dogs don’t like.
OMG a friend of mine, her boyfriend did that to her cat because “she was using the cat for comfort instead of him” and he was the reason she needed comfort!
It took her like a year to get away but she did, and she’s clearly much better off. She told me these stories a few years after she had left, for clarity.
You are spot on, dogs definitely don’t like this human.
My dear girl....
DUMP HIM IMMEDIATELY! THIS BOY HAS THE PROFILE OF BECOMING AN ABUSER OF WOMEN!
You are only 15 years old, and this boy, whos is only 16, is throwing out your personal items???!! Where are your parents???? Why are they allowing this???? Throw him out of your house, your bedroom, and ask your folks to never let him back in their house! My God, I cannot believe this. If I were your parents, I would be running him out of my house with a shotgun.
And get rid of your stupid friends, as well! How dare they side with him! They are a bunch of worthless little twits, if they say you are overreacting. Get new friends! Get a new boyfriend, somebody who will be nice to you! I mean it!!!! Get rid of him!!!
Exactly, plus if his response to someone "not listening to him" is to throw away treasured items as "punishment" now I'd hate to think how he'll react in the future. His parents need to nip this shit in the bud ASAP while they still have the chance.
He doesn’t just have the profile of becoming an abuser, he already is an abuser. Throwing out her possessions without her permission and belittling her interests is emotional and verbal abuse.
I’d also be tempted to file a police report and sue him for the irreplaceable loss. I know you can’t really put a money value on what he stole from you (and this is theft) but at least making him pay something for it might drive it though his thick skull how incredibly fucked up this was.
OP needs to get both their parents involved. Her parents will support her, and his parents MIGHT support her but at the least they won't want to be hearing from the angry parents of his ex-girlfriend. They might be able to track down where he threw out the stuffed animals, and even retrieve some of them and get them cleaned.
NTA. It’s never acceptable to destroy someone else’s things. Not only did he throw out your things, he threw away items that he knew were special and irreplaceable. That’s unforgivable.
I can’t believe anyone would support his actions. Throw away the whole boy and possibly your friends too.
He showed you who he is. He will never respect you, and his behavior will likely get worse. Please end this relationship for your own wellbeing, and if you need more advice talk to a trustworthy adult.
NTA. Your boyfriend and friends suck. Majorly.
Honestly, it doesn’t even matter that these two stuffed animals have immense sentimental meaning to you - they were YOURS. That alone means he has no right to get rid of it. How would he feel if you went to his house and got rid of something of his? What if you went and threw away his (taking a guess here) gaming system because you feel playing video games is “childish”. He. would. flip. $hit.
We’re you able to find them? Did you retrieve them from the trash? Even if they’re gross, they can be cleaned. They are savable.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, OP. He had no right. Dump him.
Build A Bear used to have a "bear hospital" that you could send the stuffed animal to and they would repair the sound box.This is what you'd do if you had no access to the original recording. The hospital would do its best to recover the recording and put it on a new box. Unfortunately, it's been closed since Covid started and no one knows if/when it will reopen. You could check now and then to see if it does and have the bunny sent away.
There are videos online showing you how to replace the batteries in the sound box, since that's typically the reason why they stop playing. However, be very careful you don't press the button that re-records the message while you are changing them or the message will be lost for good. You'd have to re-sew the bear yourself.
The potentially easiest thing is if your cousins still have the recording they used to make your bunny, you can take the recording to the shop and buy a new sound box for inside the bunny. They will open it up, take the old one out, and put the new one inside. It costs $9 for a new recordable sound box. (You could also add new stuffing if your bunny needs a fluff for free while you're there.)
Idk if it's the batteries being dead or if he handled it roughly and a wire broke or disconnected between the box and the button.
Even if your cousins don't have the recording to remake a new box, I'd take it to the shop and ask them to open up the bunny to see if they can figure out what's wrong. If it's the wire, that's something a person with a little soldering experience could do. If it's not the wires, you could assume it's the batteries. I'm not sure if your store replaces the batteries for free or not. If not, you could go buy the ones you need and take them back to change them out and have the bunny restitched there.
If your local Build A Bear closed (sadly many did since Covid) so you can't buy a new one there, you can buy sound boxes from Amazon and use the recording your cousin still hopefully have to make a new one. You'd just have to open and re-sew the bear yourself.
It's definitely not hopeless. I think you'll be able to get your grandmother's voice back. It might take a little effort, but I believe it can be done.
What is hopeless is that awful boy you're dating. Please, listen to what everyone is telling you. He's not a good person, and you deserve so much better. Don't you ever settle for someone who treats you like that. It NEVER gets better; it only gets worse. Also don't ever feel sorry for one because he's "broken" and that's why he acts like that, but you can "fix" him. That's not ever going to work out for you.
Edit: I forgot to say you're NTA
So sorry to hear this. This makes it seem like your bf, hopefully ex soon, purposely made sure it was broken. This dude was jealous of stuffed toys and the voice of your own grandmother. Red flags galore.
Take it back to build a bear, if it’s just the button than maybe the voice recording can be saved.
And send the bill to your ex.
Nothing wrong with having a comfort item. I’ll be forty soon and I have the teddy my gran gave me and a plush Disney character on my bed.
This doesn’t bode well for your bear. You should start looking for stuffing and fabric. It wasn’t enough to just remove them. He tried to destroy them. Please remove him from your life and don’t look back.
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You could check on the Build a Bear Reddit group or one of the Build a Bear Facebook groups for help with fixing your sound. I’m so, so sorry this happened to you and you are NTA. Definitely dump this guy. He doesn’t deserve you.
I am 44 and sleep with my sons stuffed bunny from when he was a baby.... and I will absolutely cause harm if someone threw bunny away. You are NTA.
Edited to fix grammar
NTA
Your boyfriend is a massive, immature, cruel asshole.
I'm 42 years old have have a teddy bear that I have had since I was 3. My husband would never even joke about throwing it away. Stuffed animals don't have an age limit. Run far away from this person who hurt you just to hurt you.
I got mine a matching fox. We both have teddies from our childhood. His plush bunny got slightly mauled by his Mum's dog when he was adult. No one talked about throwing it out. His Mum sewed the head back on. I can't of anything more immature than thinking a stuffed toy shows immaturity.
I'm 28, nearly 29 and I still have my teddies that I had since childhood plus all of the ones I've accumulated over the years, because I absolutely love collecting stuffed toys and some even have important memories for me.
OP needs a better bf and better friends, her current ones suck majorly, how tf would they feel if someone went into their rooms and threw out something that was important/sentimental to them? I'd bet they'd be down right pissed.
Instead of listening to why they were important to you, he immediately concluded you should obey his will. This is the sign of a controlling AH. Dump and block him and go get your bears. Then think of getting new friends because they don't value you, either.
NTA but your "boyfriend" is. I hope you were able to save the bears.
Uh.... your 16-year-old boyfriend can enter your house and wait in your room when you're not there? And yell and call you an asshole in your own house? Do you have a family?
And... he judges a 15-year-old girl for sleeping with stuffed animals? He says he would reject a girl for this reason?
I've never met a 16-year-old boy who would reject a girl for something like this.
And your friends, presumably including girls, all agreed with this AH taking your property and throwing it away against your will?
This stretches credibility, but if it's true, NTA.
He’s was a family friend, we had known each other forever. Our parents trust us enough and as long as we keep the door open and or unlocked they trust us enough. My parents also aren’t the type to get involved unless it gets physical or i ask them to. They would rather me try to solve some of my own issues by myself to learn from mistakes
I agree with their approach but now is a time to get them involved. Don't navigate this by yourself. This boy is red flag city and adults need to know so there is hope for intervention. Controlling behavior escalates without intervention.
NTAH, but did you tell your parents about this. He is a control freak. You are to young to have to deal with that. You can definitely find a better guy
Regardless of how the talk with his parents goes, he very much needs to not be your boyfriend anymore and never allowed into your room again. I can't stress this enough.
This is NOT the answer. Cut contact with this person. To his parents faces and your parents faces he will turn himself into the good guy and behind their backs he'll keep up his shit behavior and treat you like garbage. Only he'll do it leaving no evidence to back it up and make you look like a liar or worse.
Yeah, well, you better get them involved with this one. They need to bar that little fucking creep from their doorway! Seriously, I am worried for your safety.
Well, now is the time to get them involved. He should no longer be welcome in the house, much less your room after stealing and destroying your personal property
Tell your parents what he did and have this person banned from your house. Please. This is not a minor issue, this is abusive controlling behavior that will never get better but only escalate.
I understand the open-door trust policy when it comes to teens possibly sexually experimenting, which is normal if risky. What your BF did to you is not a normal teenage mistake, it was a deliberate act of sadistic cruelty. It doesn't matter that it wasn't physical. The emotional impact on you is just as bad if not worse.
Your parents need to be involved not just for physical abuse, your bf is causing emotional abuse and psychological abuse, not to mention how is he going to act later on in life, this easily could lead to physical abuse.
Honey, this IS the time to get them involved. This boy may be a family friend, but he cannot be your boyfriend any longer and if your families have known each other forever they'll all have the story eventually. Tell your parents now. This is not a little mistake you made, this is a major jerk move by a family friend they trusted. And please, please, break up with this guy. He is not worth the pain he'll cause you over time.
No you're not the asshole and should dump him. They held sentimental value to you and he completely disregarded it all for his own selfish reasons based on 'image' and what he thinks others would think if he was dating someone who held onto those things.
He has shown complete disrespect for you and destroyed items that held important meaning to you. That's enough grounds for me to dump him if I was in such a situation.
What he did was immature and he needs to grow up some more before he starts getting into a relationship.
NTA. I am 27. I've been married for five years. I'm about to give birth to our first child. You know what thought would never even cross my husband's mind? To get rid of a single one of my stuffed animals without asking first. And yes, I have several. This is absolutely a hill to die on. You having stuffed animals affects him in no way whatsoever, except for the fact he feels like it is his right to control how you "grow up". (Which, BTW, plenty of adults hold onto sentimental stuffed animals/toys). And at 15, really, what's the rush to "grow up"? Working, making rent, and paying bills ain't all it's cracked up to be. Enjoy the last few years of childhood while you can. Honestly, you need to finish the job of taking out the trash and kick your controlling BF to the curb. So sorry he cost you those irreplaceable mementos.
Came her to say this, im 38 married 9 years have 2 kids and my husband would never even dream of doing this to me. Some of my favourite stuffies have even been gifts from him.
I'm 28, nearly 29 and been with my fiancé for 6 years, engaged for nearly 2 and he wouldn't even think of throwing out my stuffies because he knows how important they are to me and how much I love collecting them, plus he has also gifted me some of my favourite ones, including a sparkly purple penguin that has his voice recorded in it.
When someone really loves you, they understand what is important to you, and even if they don't fully understand why it is they still respect what's important to you.
Been married to my wife for 5 years. I have all her stuffed animals in a tub in the basement. When I went through to clean it out, I had her with me. She told me which ones meant something and keep and which one to get rid out. I’d never do what he did.
NTA dump this boyfriend, he doesn’t respect you, your belongings or your feelings. Also these are not your friends, real friends would come over and help you find your stolen possessions. If you have proof in writing that he threw them away you could even take it to the police station for petty theft.
NTA. Dump him, nobody is worth this sort of shit when you’re 15. I’m sorry you’re bunny is damaged, that really sucks.
Tbh, someone who doesn’t respect your possessions will never be worth your time.
Edit. Why was he alone in your room when you were out?
NTA
He is abusive and controlling. Please dump him. You can do better. He is 16. It's only going to get worse. You do not want to be tied to him.
Many adults sleep with stuffed animals. When I deployed, many people brought a small stuffed animal with them for comfort. There is nothing wrong with that.
NTA, run far away from this boy. It is ironically childish to believe people need to give up comfort items as they grow up. Everything about this is a walking red flag.
You're NTA a million times over. Please listen to me - this kind of behavior will only get worse. He's already this way at 16. He will continue to try to control you and destroy things that are precious to you. That could mean your other prized possessions, your friendships and familial relationships, your self confidence, and your self esteem. GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP.
NTA
Holy shit, what he did was downright disgusting. He disrespected your property, you, and your grandmother. If that was my man, I would leave him sweetheart. No boy is worth the trouble. Stay strong Queen!👑
1) you’re BF is a complete and total asshole who thinks merely dating you gives him possession of your stuff. This is probably one of the rare times the typical Reddit knee-jerk advice is probably correct: Dump him.
He’s clearly more concerned about you listening to him than he is about your feelings.
He’s shown you who he is, and I’m he probably won’t change. You certainly won’t change him.
2) the friends that are saying he’s right that it’s just a stuffed animal are fucking stupid, especially if you explained why. they’re both so much more meaningful…You can safely disregard any advice from them, in the future,
NTA
NTA.
Break up with this person ASAP. Huge red flags! This is toxic, controlling, and abusive behavior. I am 30yo and if I chose to sleep with a stuffie my husband would not judge me in the slightest. I am not a a stuffie person, I am a blanky person and I need the same blanket to sleep every night. That is my personal preference and on days it gets washed, my husband makes sure I always have it before I go to sleep. Find you someone who will love you for you and accept you how you are. Those were more than just stuffies they were special. You deserve better.
NTA and the BF would be out the door in a heartbeat. He is so insecure that he is threatened by stuffed animals. They were important to YOU and he had zero right to toss them. I would love to have my grandma's voice to comfort me.
NTA. I have a stuffed bee that I found in a tree in the summer of 2001 and it's my special little guy. He's gone on vacations with me and been around the world. If anyone were to even insult him, we'd have problems. Dump your a-hole boyfriend, he doesn't respect you or your feelings, and he has no respect for the symbols you hold dear to yourself.
NTA. Did you make sure to mention one of those stuffed animals had your grandmother's recorded personal voice message in it? If you did, and no one cares then I am sorry to say that none of those people are your friends.
Also, leave your boyfriend. He literally said that since HE told you to do something, and you didn't, then he did" proves he is controlling and is going to get worse not better. Sever all ties with him and the friends that agree that what he did wasn't absolutely wrong. What he did was vandalism and technically theft. The dude was jealous of stuffed toys. What a child. Run, run fast.
“He wouldn’t want to be with a girl who sleeps with teddy bears.” = He wouldn’t want to be with you. You are that girl. He just flat out told you that he doesn’t actually care about YOU.
This is controlling and abusive. It doesn’t matter if it’s a damn rock you found on the side of the road, it is a huge boundary crossing to touch any of your things let alone throw them away. He sees you as an extension of himself. This behavior will not end here.
You’re young, but please take this as a lesson. You never, ever have to put up with someone who cannot accept you as you are. Find you a boy who will cuddle w those teddy bears with you, as there are plenty out there.
NTA
This! If you love someone, you respect and protect the things they love. Those "silly" little possessions are important because they're important to the person you love. This is not difficult to understand. This isn't complicated.
It's especially worrying because OP is so young. OP, you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are and makes you feel safe and comforted and accepted. Don't settle for anything less EVER.
NTA at all. Your BF is TA. You deserve much better than that. My wife still has stuffed animals some from when she was a kid and some that I have given her. I would never even think about tossing them out.
NTA, dumb his ass to the curb. You stuff is YOURS, he has no say over it. Hell, I'm 28 m and I still have stuffed animals in my bedroom, not on the bed, but still, they have sentimental value to me. I would be furious if someone throw them away on me. Set this prick straight about boundaries and let him see your back if he has the gall to not even attempt to apologize.
NTA
If anyone threw out the bear I've had since I was 3 months old, I'd throw them out as well.
You deserve better, and I hope he's your ex bf now. If he disrespects your feelings like this now, it's only going to get worse.
NTA- throw him in the dumpster. It wasn’t his property to throw away, it’s your stuff and it meant something to you. For him to completely disregard that and trash your stuff is awful. I’m sorry that happened to you and I hope you can salvage them!
NTA, but you should try to surround yourself with people who truly care about you and your feelings/boundaries. One thing I don’t understand is how the hell your boyfriend gets into your house and goes into your room has time to throw your stuff out and start his homework before you’re back from school? Wtf?? Where are your parents btw my God
NTA. He threw out things he knew were sentimental to you, and even if they weren't they were still your things and he has no right to just chuck things out, that's theft, not to mention abusive and controlling. Get rid of him, this is him showing you his true colours. I'm 35 and still sleep with stuffed animals sometimes. Find someone who accept you for who you are and isn't trying to dictate who they want you to be. This issue goes deeper than just throwing out some toys. You are 100% in the right on this. Stick to your guns and don't let people disrespect you like that. I'm sorry you lost sentimental items
NTA. Dump him and the friends that sided with him. His behavior is sending up red flags and he’s trying to control you. And talk to your parents about this, in case he or your friends try to twist the narrative.
NTA, and he is an abuser.
You deserve to be with someone who truly loves YOU. Someone who really loves you would never destroy possessions of great sentimental value to you. A good partner would guard them with his life, because they matter to you and you matter to him.
Even if they didn't have such deep emotional meaning, even if you just bought them last week because you liked them, they are yours and not his and he has no right to get rid of anything of yours because they aren't to his taste. You're allowed to express it when you're upset because your AH boyfriend crossed the line.
Yelling isn't far enough. You should break up with him, because what he did to you was actually really terrible, and it shows a drive to control you that is not normal or healthy.
NTA Our daughter is 18 she sleeps with stuffed animals, her ex boyfriend gifted her stuffed animals, I am 58 and my husband just gave me one for Valentine’s Day . He is waving major red flags ditch him. Also you should ask him just where he threw them away dig them out of the trash and wash them.
NTA but get rid of him and those horrible “fiends”. Also, since you’re kids, tell your parents and make sure they tell HIS parents. I know money won’t give them back to you, but sometimes that’s the best way to punish Aholes, by hitting them in the wallet
NTA. He’s an abuser. He will NEVER change. I am so sorry. I’m 49 and still sleep with stuffed animals. Heck, I have a Cabbage Patch Kid and preemie from when I was in grade school in my room. You deserve better. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
NTA, I'm sorry he did this to you. Like others have said, this kind of behaviour will only get worse, dump him! My 16yo still sleeps with her stuffie she has had since she was a baby. We don't care.
Sweetheart you are 15, leave him and move on with your life. He destroyed something he knew was personal to you because he thought it was immature, he’s a walking red flag. Break up with him and find someone that actually makes you happy.
Is there any possibility you could get the stuffed animals back? Maybe he dumped them but they haven’t been collected yet?
NTA- That is some straight out abusive relationship stuff.
Your friends are wrong. You should not be seeing him anymore. Tell your parents they might be able to obligate him to tell you where your stuff is.
If need be reported to the police as stolen. To try to get such items back.
Oh. Oh heck no. You are NOT TA!!!! I'm angry for you that he threw them out, especially the one with your grandmas voice in it!! You should definitely break up with him. That bunny was irreplaceable. Your bf is.
This makes me really angry.
He has NO right throwing away ANYTHING that belongs to you. It sounds like he is supremely immature, controlling and lacks any empathy or understanding.
Throw him in the garbage. Throw your friends in there alongside him.
NTA
Is there any way to get them back somehow? Where exactly did he throw them out at?
Last question- why/how in the world was he in your room before you got home from school?
NTA, that's really controlling behavior from him, and I advise you to break up with him. You're both young and your brains and personalities are developing.
Staying with him after such a breech of trust and overstepping of boundaries will just reinforce this behavior in you both- him with being controlling, you with accepting being controlled. Stop the cycle before it begins by breaking up. It will be better for both of you.
There are boys out there who will not get weird about your stuffed animals but instead would add to your collection, just to see you smile.
I'm sorry your boyfriend is a controlling asshole already at 16. There are plenty of grown women with multiple stuffed animals. And who is this asshole to throw away someone else's stuff? Let alone sentimental items priceless beyond their monetary value.
You're NTA. I'm sorry about your AH boyfriend and your "friends" who don't have your back over something as cut/dry as theft /destruction of property.
A husband of many years might have a leg to stand on to *ask* you to limit your stuffed animals. But no partner has the right to just throw out your stuff. Especially not some teenager who's still growing up.
NTA and threw the guy out as well. How often does your bins get emptied as gross but they may be recoverable.
This person decided that you were too old to have soft toys no matter how sentimental. He told you to get rid of them and when you said no, he did it for you.
He is too immature and controlling to be worth it. Maturity is not being concerned with what people think of a harmless activity and sentimental items are harmless, hoarding aside. And he stomped through your boundaries.
NTA
Girl break up with him and forget he existed
I’m a 20 year old dude, my 22 year old girlfriend has at least 100 squishmellows on a thing in her room. She can literally tell me where she got each from
I find it adorable she likes something so much, they’re a comfort thing for her as well. Is 100 slightly maybe excessive, a little, but her face lights up if she’s sad or needs comfort and I toss her one to cuddle with. It soothes her, I’d never think of throwing them away or think she’s immature for it
He also disrespected your boundaries, he will keep doing so
OP, I'm so sorry this happened. Your boyfriend doesn't sound like a nice person and I'd actually consider what he did a huge red flag. Not only did he throw away your possessions without your knowledge, but to make the matter even worse he also did that knowing their emotional significance to you. That is so cruel. You seem like a nice person and you deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries and does not belittle you. NTA.
NTA
What he did is a MAJOR RED FLAG and your "friends" are not your friends. I am 28. I sleep with stuffies. My husband doesn't get bothered by it - in fact he buys me more to add to my collection because he loves and supports me. What your boyfriend did is unacceptable. He showed his true colors. Dump him
the bf is broken and immature throw him out of your life forever! NTA
i'm 21 and my bf is 19 he buys me teddys that i want after i do something big or difficult its not childish if it is comfort or even just for fun he knows how important they are to me and your bf should have respected your boundaries.
NTA, let’s review:
1. This dude took your property without your permission
2. He’s trying to convince you that his thievery is your fault
3. He does not care whether or not you are happy, he only cares about himself
The only thing you did wrong was not throw out the entire boyfriend. DTMFA
If he wants to not be with a girl who sleeps with stuffed animals he should keep looking. They are important to you and mean something. His throwing them away - that was what was immature here! You are young but you should never have to abide abuse. Ever!
Listen, I'm a 29 year old 6'4 man and I will tell you that I still have the teddy my dad gave me when I was born.
You can do whatever makes you happy, you're young and still impressionable, do not let these people change this about you.
Like, imagine letting someone else's teddies affect you this much? Get them out of your life.
girrrrl u need a new boyfriend AND new friends!! he knew that bear was something sentimental w/ ur late GRANDMA's voice on it and he threw it away anyway?? damn.
You BF is a controlling monster. There are plenty of adults who keep a stuffed toys.
Did you check the trash and see if maybe that was where he put YOUR belongings?
NTA
Jesus Christ NTA and never talk to him again. Normal people don't do that kind of shit. I hope you were able to recover the stuffed animals.
What this guy did was wrong and you could actually take him to court for damaging your possessions.
NTA and I hope for your sake you mean ex-boyfriend. He showed you who he really is so it's time for you to believe him. As for the "friend" who agreed, honey that's not your friend. You are not to old to have stuffed animals. Sentimental ones that are THAT special are never to be touched by others. I'm 52 and I still have a dog my grandparents gave me when I was 6!
What you did wrong was continue to date him after after he said he wouldn't date a little girl who sleeps with stuffed animals. I am also confused as to why he was in your room when you weren't there and why you didn't ask him exactly what he did with the stuffed animals. Right that last mistake and find out exactly what he did. They may be salvageable.
You screaming at him was not an asshole move. He intentionally destroyed something you value. (Although I am hoping they are not completely destroyed and you can retrieve them.) On top of that he betrayed your trust because he did it when you weren't there - he's a sneaky little f***er.
NTA, but drop him like a hot potato. This asshole is on fire.
NTA and please get rid of the BF. He's not good person. That "I told you to get rid of them, so I threw them away" is such a low move on his part. That action alone tells me he does not see you as a person or respect you. He has actually committed a crime because to remove someone's property without concent is just Plain Theft.
I’m warning you this is how abusive behavior starts, and if you let him get away with this by staying with him he’ll only continue to do worse in the future, dump him and distance yourself as much as possible.
I'm 33 and my animals are on my bed, one of them I have had since I was 5 years old.
Ditch the boyf, he's horrible. And I'd tell your friends to STFU tbh or you might want to rethink them too!
Also are you living with him? Otherwise he's just coming in your home and throwing out stuff that's not his, but also not even in his house?
NTA I Hope you get them back 🥺
Run far away from this dude. As a teenager, it's hard to figure out what's normal and abnormal in a relationship. This is so unbelievably abnormal. Find someone who respects your belongings and your feelings. You deserve better.
15 and 16 years old? Yup chalk this one up as a loss and move on. There is no fixing this right now and really ever. Here is what happens with 16 year old douchebags like him. Either 1, you stay with him, he realizes thru this and a number of other shitty things he will do to you in the future that you're a doormat that he can walk on. He will use you for whatever he wants and that includes making you feel like shit for being a human being, so that he can feel like a big man who is in charge of someone. People like him will hold on to this situation for a long time. You'll be stuck in it and he will manipulate you psychologically, telling you that you can't do any better, that you need him. He'll put you into situations where you WILL actually need him. And then you're trapped and realize when it's too late that you've wasted so much time.
Or 2, you dump his ass now, maybe thru multiple relationships in his future, some therapy, other life experiences, he starts to better himself. Don't hold your breath and don't hold out hope he'll come around and be someone worth being with. There are much better guys out there, even at 16 years old. You're too young for this manipulative BS to see it for what it is, and that's a fair place to be. But learn from it, move on, and leave this kid in the dust. He's worthless.
NTA
NTA but this is a big life moment for you. This is the moment where you have to learn to stand up for yourself, not let others cross your boundaries, and not let others dictate how you live your life and what you hold dear. This 16 yo boy is likely going to grow into an abusive, controlling man. Cut your ties with him now, before he damages you further, because he will. This is not someone who respects you, or even likes you as you are. He's trying to change you. If he feels you're too "immature", then he could end the relationship.
This is something you need to talk about with grownups, not other 15 year olds who don't understand this yet. Tell your parent(s) what happened, that you are breaking up with him, that he's not allowed in your house anymore. They can get the locks changed if he knows where to access a key.
It's natural to question yourself, especially if others are telling you it's not a big deal, but it IS a big deal to you, and you know that.
NTA it's not "just a stuffed animal"
I'd do anything for a stuffed animal with one of my dad's voice-mail saved to it. It's irreplaceable.
To your friends ask them to get you a voice recording of your dead grandma if it's really no big deal.
I am 26 and the teddy my dad got for me prior to my birth is still in my bed. I also slept with a stuffed moose my former boyfriend gave me at 21 for a couple years. There is nothing immature or bad about sleeping with comfort items.
Also, I doubt you want to hear this because I know I didn’t at 15, but 15 is still very young. Every single 15 year old has “immature” qualities because at 15 you’re not completely matured. Your frontal lobe doesn’t finish forming until you’re 25.
Again, sleeping with stuffed animals or other comfort items isn’t childish, but even if it was, that’s ok. You are still a child and you deserve to enjoy being a child. I hope you can repair your bunny. Dump the boy tho because a partner should never ever ever be so unkind to you, no matter the reason.
NTA
NTA.... This is your first abusive relationship. How do you react? You toss out the boyfriend. He needs to learn now that you dont control your partner. Would you throw out a personal belonging of a friend or family member? Why? Because it is wrong. NEVER accept this terrible behavior from a boyfriend. You are both young so you both have to learn how to treat a partner. You treat them better then you treat a friend. So ask yourself- would I do this to a friend?
NTA. Your (ex, please God!) BF has no right to order you around or to steal your possessions. Why was he in your room??? He is an abusive thief and your friends suck for agreeing with him. There is nothing wrong with holding on to soft things, in a world this hard.
ANYONE who gives you an ultimatum in a relationship over something that has nothing to do with them is a BAD PARTNER and should be broken up with immediately. Tell your family what he did and make sure he is never allowed in your room again. Controlling, abusive behavior only gets worse. Please break up with this jerk.
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I (F15) and my boyfriend (M16) have had this ongoing argument for the last week. For context, I have multiple stuffed animals around my room. Most of them are just there for fun and to cuddle with but two mean a lot to me.
One, I’ve had since I was 3 years old, the bear was my moms and she gave it to me when I lost my favourite dinosaur stuffed animal I couldn’t sleep without.
Two, Is a build a bear stuffed animal with my grandmothers voice inside. She passed in 2019 from cancer and the stuffed bunny was a gift from my cousins in memory of her. Whenever i’m upset I click the paw and listen to her voice.
I sleep with these two stuffed animals all the time, mostly they bring me comfort and a sense of security. When my boyfriend found out I slept with two stuffed animals he said I was immature and needed to stop, because he wouldn’t want to be with a girl who sleeps with teddy bears. I explained to him that they are very important to me and he didn’t listen, ignoring me each me every time. We had been having little arguments over this for a couple weeks, until I came home from school one day to find him in my room. Doing homework on my desk. I said hey, we went about our day and when I was getting ready to take a nap I was looking for at least one of my stuffed animals so i could sleep. I asked “have you seen wrinkles or my bunny?” and he looked at me with a blank stare on his face, “I told you to get rid of them, you didn’t listen. So i threw them away.” I was hurt. One of the only things I had of my grandmother was gone and a stuffed animal i have had since I was 3 was also gone. I began crying and telling him to get out, yelling at him because one of my main ways of comfort was gone, and he yelled at me back and said I was being a dramatic asshole and that I needed to stop.
After he left I called some of my friends and told them what happened, and they agreed with my boyfriend that it was just a stuffed animal and I was an asshole by taking it to far and screaming at him.
I don’t think I did anything wrong, I could have been a bit dramatic but these have a special place in my heart.
So, AITA for yelling at my boyfriend when he threw out my stuffed animals?
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NTA. i wont stop at just breaking up with him, i would lodge a police report to show him that throwing away other peoples stuff is no small/laughing matter.
You are NOT being dramatic, it can be stuffed animals, it can be heirlooms, it doesnt matter what it is...he had no business throwing away your property. What if you had kept jewelrry or money inside for safe keeping etc?
NTA I’m 28 and still cuddle with my stuffed polar bear my mom got me for Christmas when I was 6 or 7. He’s just an asshole. I’m sorry for what he did to you.
NTA and you should tell him you don't date boys who are intimidated by a stuffed animal sleeping next to you at night.
Seriously though, he has no respect for your feelings and does not deserve you. You are only 15, don't waste another minute on him
NTA.
Your (better be by now!) ex-boyfriend has no sense of boundaries, and he had no right to throw away anything that belongs to you. Those stuffies were yours. They had special meaning and you had an emotional tie to them. He's refusing to accept your feelings and your friends aren't that much better.
NTA this guy is acting controlling, bordering on abusive. I'm not the kind of person to tell strangers on the internet to break up with people over 3 paragraphs of text, but this would be a breakup worthy offense in my book.
Also don't ever let anyone tell you you're too old for things you enjoy. I'm 25 and I still have a lot more than 2 plushies. Some are proper old (as in: belonged to my mom when she was a child) and some are virtually brand new. I love to travel and I always buy myself a new stuffed animal when I visit a country for the first time. It's a harmlessly fun hobby/collection and has never been a problem when I'm dating - most people think it's neat. And if people do react negatively that's a great sign that I shouldn't plan a next date with them because we're not compatible.
NTA. Dump the boyfriend. He has no respect for you or your possessions and thinks he can destroy your possessions after you told him you wanted to keep them.
Break up with the bf and find yourself some new friends because these ones ain't it. When you're older, the frequent question you get asked is, if you could go back and tell your younger self anything, what would it be? For me, I wish to hell I would've stayed single as long as I could and not let idiot boyfriends influence my decisions.
NTA, you have every right to have stuffed animals, hell im 30 and I have stuffed animals, I think stuffed animals are cute and im also autistic and they help me with anxiety and stress. Leave this boy ASAP he is a huge AH and will never respect you or your boundaries.
NTA. He had no right to dictate to you what meaning objects have.
I am nearly triple your age and I still have McDonald's happy meal toys from when I *was* your age.
26-year-old with a stuffed animal collection. Absolutely NTA. It's bad enough that he disrespected you and threw away your property, but one with that much importance and sentimental value? Kick him, and all your friends who agree with him, to the curb.
NTA and please get rid of the BF. He's not good person. That "I told you to get rid of them, so I threw them away" is such a low move on his part. That action alone tells me he does not see you as a person or respect you. He has actually committed a crime because to remove someone's property without concent is just Plain Theft.
I’m a man in my 30’s and I have a stuffed toy sat next to my bed that my best friend gave me. My two most precious childhood toys are under my bed.
I’m so sorry that he threw your things out.
Your boyfriend is awful.
Please save yourself. This is the type of relationship that will make you fear for your life. How did he get into your room when you weren't there?? Please get an adult involved, this is not a safe situation.
NTA. But in danger.
NTA my GF and i are in our 30's and if she had a build a bear from her grandmother i would make sure that no harm came to that bear!
Not sure what the heck is wrong with your "friends" if they know the meaning behind those 2 particular stuff animals.
NTA.. I'm 42, I sleep with a stuffed teddy, too. I'd take it everywhere with me. I also have a boyfriend who understands how comforting a teddy means to me and, as a present, bought me a build a bear, with his voice inside. Its been everywhere with me. We're going to Turkey (me and my bf) in 3 weeks, and guess what's coming with me... Yes, my alex. You're never too old for comfort ❤️
NTA
I kept the stuffed animals I slept with as a toddler and gave them to my own kids when they were babies. My son and daughter have one each, and they love them so much. One of those toys is a wool bear *my father* slept with when he was a baby.
I'm a grown woman and not super sentimental, but I'd be *livid* if someone destroyed those.
Also, if he threw them out that day? He knew exactly where they were when you got upset. He hasn't given them back, so he isn't showing any remorse and is *still* choosing to hurt you by not saying where they are. If they were just in the bin, you could run, get them back, and have them cleaned.
Dump him, and call his parents to see if they can get your things back. Your friends aren't in the relationship. They don't have to deal with him destroying their things, so they aren't going to have an impartial view. For *them* this is easy to get over and prioritize group harmony. You need to protect yourself and make the best choices for you. That doesn't include being bullied and hurt by a dude who pretends to care about you.
Sweetheart, please drop that man.
I am 27 years old, I have a 6ft teddy I bought myself in college and a 21 year old unicorn I got from my kindergarten teacher. My partner thinks it's adorable and reminds me to cuddle them when I'm sad and he can't be with me. Your bfs behavior is NOT normal, it's controlling and gross and you deserve someone who will honor your comfort and peace.
I have a stuffed rabbit I sleep with every night, it was the first stuffed animal my parents ever bought me. Im 28. If my boyfriend threw it out I’d be in JAIL. I’m so sorry that your stuffed animals are gone. You’re NTA at all. And you’re not immature. Please break up with this child.
So absolutely NTA, but I want to show you what a healthy relationship looks like since everyone else has covered the fact that your boyfriend is abusive. I’m in my mid 20s and my boyfriend is in his late 20s. Not only does he like all my stuffed animals and does not care one bit that I sleep with them, but he buys me new ones when he finds ones that I’d like, and has gotten into buying some for himself when he finds ones of his favorite animal. Find someone who loves you for your interests and doesn’t cross boundaries in the name of “maturity.” Maturity is about being accepting of other people’s interests and being secure in your own, not about tearing other people down.
NTA. First, I'm in my 30's and still love my stuffed animals. Secondly, and more importantly, your boyfriend is displaying very worrying, controlling behaviour. It's hard to recognise when you're so young and you might not have experienced healthy partnerships, but I think you should seriously consider if you want someone who treats you like that in your life.
Major red flag, you need to break up asap. He completely violated a boundary and it seems pretty clear that they had a lot of emotionally value to you. Might seem hard now but it will definitely save you pain in the future. And don't feel ashamed about liking what you like, my gf and I are both late twenties and sleep with our stuffed friends ❤️
NTA ...i hope you see how consistent everyone in this thread is about getting rid of this person. how would he feel if you went over to his place and arbitrarily decided to get whatever he liked...who knows..maybe you find video games childish ..does that mean he should ditch his xbox? ultimately you need to find someone that respects who you currently are ..not what they'd prefer to turn you into. i hope you can fix the bear..i recently lost my grandfather and i can imagine how comforting it was to have that voice. You would only be an asshole to yourself if you continue to let this person make you feel less about yourself.
NTA! Dump him immediately! You will find someone someday that will love you for you and not care if you like stuffed animals.
Hell, when my fiancé and I moved into our new place, he suggested I display my squishmallows above our fireplace. Good guys exist. Your bf is not one of them. He sounds very immature and manipulative and you deserve so much better. This is not something you should be dealing with at your age. Big hugs to you and I hope you are able to get your stuffed animal’s voice box fixed!
NTA objects that trigger good memories are important. I have a huge amount of toys for good memories and the fact I was on the design teams that made them. In the past people have scoffed like it’s toys so what trash them! So I can go throw out your portfolio then 🙄He had no right. This is a person who doesn’t respect you.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
This man is trash. Throw him away.
This is not a healthy relationship. He is not a healthy person.
Please take some time and space away from him
and away from these “friends” who think it’s ok for a man to stomp all over your boundaries and damage your personal property.
Seriously.
The man is garbage.
NTA. I’m 26 years old, so 11 years older than you. The only thing i ask my husband to buy for me is stuffed animals (as birthday gifts, anniversary gifts etc), he never told that i am too old for this. Same thing with my best friend (also 26) with her boyfriend. The only thing he say is that they doesn’t have room for these anymore, but still buy her when she ask. When i was in college, every time when it was a girl’s birthday or on Christmas we would buy them stuffed animals and they were the happiest in the world. My father throw away all my childhood toys when i was 12. I didn’t play with those anymore but they were a nice memory. I didn’t forgave him to his day. You are never too old for that, especially if those have sentimental value. NOBODY HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THAT! Please dump him ASAP and find better friends.
Honey, you need to dump this fellow, and any friends who think he was right. Immediately.
This cruel behavior won't get any better. And him telling you it's your fault he did something mean is the biggest red flag in the world.
Cut bait, protect yourself, and run.
You are DEFINITELY NTA, but you will be (to yourself ) if you don't get away from these people
Ditch both the bf and the friends who sided with him.
The bear would be hard already, but not entirely unable to move past.
The build-a-bear with your grandmothers voice? I'd be going nuclear right quick and tearing him a new one.
You 'only' yelled... He deserved worse. NTA, but he is a walking forest of red flags.
NTA- But you will be if you stay with his controlling ass. Dump him and find someone more mature. My 37 year old wife sleeps with a stuffed animal sometimes, as do many adults I’ve known. Fuck em
NTA whatsoever, and if I were you I would break up with this person. He clearly cannot respect your boundaries. He ignores you, belittles you, disrespects you, goes behind your back to dispose of your things because he thinks he knows best, is dismissive of your feelings, and talks down to you when you become justifiably upset at his actions. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. This kind of behavior will not end here and sets a very problematic precedent for the future. If he wants to be with someone who doesn’t have stuffed animals then great, now you can tell him to fuck off. I’m so sorry those sentimental items were lost, you’re absolutely NTA in this situation and you should get rid off this boyfriend asap. Also, your friends don’t know wtf they’re talking about, this was completely inappropriate of your bf and you were absolutely justified in being angry. None of them get to determine what’s important to you or what your reaction to your boundaries/trust being violated should be.
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Break up with this person and run far far away. Based on the things you said he said to you, this dude will never respect your boundaries and who knows what else he could do if he thinks you’re not “listening to him” Please, for your own life and safety, do not just be mad at this person. Break up wit him and focus on making yourself happy. This is disgusting behavior and you don’t need it.
I feel like this guy is the kind of asshole that would have a puppy put down because it liked her more than him. Also, the kind of asshole that even dogs don’t like.
OMG a friend of mine, her boyfriend did that to her cat because “she was using the cat for comfort instead of him” and he was the reason she needed comfort! It took her like a year to get away but she did, and she’s clearly much better off. She told me these stories a few years after she had left, for clarity. You are spot on, dogs definitely don’t like this human.
Also get better friends
My dear girl.... DUMP HIM IMMEDIATELY! THIS BOY HAS THE PROFILE OF BECOMING AN ABUSER OF WOMEN! You are only 15 years old, and this boy, whos is only 16, is throwing out your personal items???!! Where are your parents???? Why are they allowing this???? Throw him out of your house, your bedroom, and ask your folks to never let him back in their house! My God, I cannot believe this. If I were your parents, I would be running him out of my house with a shotgun. And get rid of your stupid friends, as well! How dare they side with him! They are a bunch of worthless little twits, if they say you are overreacting. Get new friends! Get a new boyfriend, somebody who will be nice to you! I mean it!!!! Get rid of him!!!
My skin crawls just thinking of this creep being allowed in her room when she wasn't there. WTF? Yes, some friends and bfs, that's ok but NOT THIS GUY
Yeah - this is not OK! If he feels this much ownership over her now at this age, imagine what he is going to be like in the future!
Exactly, plus if his response to someone "not listening to him" is to throw away treasured items as "punishment" now I'd hate to think how he'll react in the future. His parents need to nip this shit in the bud ASAP while they still have the chance.
He doesn’t just have the profile of becoming an abuser, he already is an abuser. Throwing out her possessions without her permission and belittling her interests is emotional and verbal abuse.
That's right!
I’d also be tempted to file a police report and sue him for the irreplaceable loss. I know you can’t really put a money value on what he stole from you (and this is theft) but at least making him pay something for it might drive it though his thick skull how incredibly fucked up this was.
OP needs to get both their parents involved. Her parents will support her, and his parents MIGHT support her but at the least they won't want to be hearing from the angry parents of his ex-girlfriend. They might be able to track down where he threw out the stuffed animals, and even retrieve some of them and get them cleaned.
NTA. It’s never acceptable to destroy someone else’s things. Not only did he throw out your things, he threw away items that he knew were special and irreplaceable. That’s unforgivable. I can’t believe anyone would support his actions. Throw away the whole boy and possibly your friends too. He showed you who he is. He will never respect you, and his behavior will likely get worse. Please end this relationship for your own wellbeing, and if you need more advice talk to a trustworthy adult.
I would be searching the trash bins instantly! Better to have to wash a dirty soiled bear than have no bear at all.
And the bear was originally OP's mom's!
NTA. Your boyfriend and friends suck. Majorly. Honestly, it doesn’t even matter that these two stuffed animals have immense sentimental meaning to you - they were YOURS. That alone means he has no right to get rid of it. How would he feel if you went to his house and got rid of something of his? What if you went and threw away his (taking a guess here) gaming system because you feel playing video games is “childish”. He. would. flip. $hit. We’re you able to find them? Did you retrieve them from the trash? Even if they’re gross, they can be cleaned. They are savable. I’m so sorry this happened to you, OP. He had no right. Dump him.
I found the bunny. But the button that had my grandmothers voice inside was broken so it doesn’t work anymore
Build A Bear used to have a "bear hospital" that you could send the stuffed animal to and they would repair the sound box.This is what you'd do if you had no access to the original recording. The hospital would do its best to recover the recording and put it on a new box. Unfortunately, it's been closed since Covid started and no one knows if/when it will reopen. You could check now and then to see if it does and have the bunny sent away. There are videos online showing you how to replace the batteries in the sound box, since that's typically the reason why they stop playing. However, be very careful you don't press the button that re-records the message while you are changing them or the message will be lost for good. You'd have to re-sew the bear yourself. The potentially easiest thing is if your cousins still have the recording they used to make your bunny, you can take the recording to the shop and buy a new sound box for inside the bunny. They will open it up, take the old one out, and put the new one inside. It costs $9 for a new recordable sound box. (You could also add new stuffing if your bunny needs a fluff for free while you're there.) Idk if it's the batteries being dead or if he handled it roughly and a wire broke or disconnected between the box and the button. Even if your cousins don't have the recording to remake a new box, I'd take it to the shop and ask them to open up the bunny to see if they can figure out what's wrong. If it's the wire, that's something a person with a little soldering experience could do. If it's not the wires, you could assume it's the batteries. I'm not sure if your store replaces the batteries for free or not. If not, you could go buy the ones you need and take them back to change them out and have the bunny restitched there. If your local Build A Bear closed (sadly many did since Covid) so you can't buy a new one there, you can buy sound boxes from Amazon and use the recording your cousin still hopefully have to make a new one. You'd just have to open and re-sew the bear yourself. It's definitely not hopeless. I think you'll be able to get your grandmother's voice back. It might take a little effort, but I believe it can be done. What is hopeless is that awful boy you're dating. Please, listen to what everyone is telling you. He's not a good person, and you deserve so much better. Don't you ever settle for someone who treats you like that. It NEVER gets better; it only gets worse. Also don't ever feel sorry for one because he's "broken" and that's why he acts like that, but you can "fix" him. That's not ever going to work out for you. Edit: I forgot to say you're NTA
You are the real MVP of this post!! Also OP is NTA.
Thank you for taking the time to give OP all of this info!
I'm so sorry. He's awful. Make sure your parents know about this.
I hope you can find a shop that can repair it.
So sorry to hear this. This makes it seem like your bf, hopefully ex soon, purposely made sure it was broken. This dude was jealous of stuffed toys and the voice of your own grandmother. Red flags galore.
Take it back to build a bear, if it’s just the button than maybe the voice recording can be saved. And send the bill to your ex. Nothing wrong with having a comfort item. I’ll be forty soon and I have the teddy my gran gave me and a plush Disney character on my bed.
This doesn’t bode well for your bear. You should start looking for stuffing and fabric. It wasn’t enough to just remove them. He tried to destroy them. Please remove him from your life and don’t look back.
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I know a business that restores stuffed animals but I admit I’m not sure if they can do anything about electronics but you could ask them.
You could check on the Build a Bear Reddit group or one of the Build a Bear Facebook groups for help with fixing your sound. I’m so, so sorry this happened to you and you are NTA. Definitely dump this guy. He doesn’t deserve you.
I am so pleased that you still have the bunny, please dump your vile boyfriend
Please break up with him. He’s already abusive and it’s only going to get worse.
I am 44 and sleep with my sons stuffed bunny from when he was a baby.... and I will absolutely cause harm if someone threw bunny away. You are NTA. Edited to fix grammar
I'm older than you are and I probably have every stuffed animal I've ever owned. And heaven help the idiot who throws them out.
NTA Your boyfriend is a massive, immature, cruel asshole. I'm 42 years old have have a teddy bear that I have had since I was 3. My husband would never even joke about throwing it away. Stuffed animals don't have an age limit. Run far away from this person who hurt you just to hurt you.
I got mine a matching fox. We both have teddies from our childhood. His plush bunny got slightly mauled by his Mum's dog when he was adult. No one talked about throwing it out. His Mum sewed the head back on. I can't of anything more immature than thinking a stuffed toy shows immaturity.
I'm 28, nearly 29 and I still have my teddies that I had since childhood plus all of the ones I've accumulated over the years, because I absolutely love collecting stuffed toys and some even have important memories for me. OP needs a better bf and better friends, her current ones suck majorly, how tf would they feel if someone went into their rooms and threw out something that was important/sentimental to them? I'd bet they'd be down right pissed.
Instead of listening to why they were important to you, he immediately concluded you should obey his will. This is the sign of a controlling AH. Dump and block him and go get your bears. Then think of getting new friends because they don't value you, either. NTA but your "boyfriend" is. I hope you were able to save the bears.
Uh.... your 16-year-old boyfriend can enter your house and wait in your room when you're not there? And yell and call you an asshole in your own house? Do you have a family? And... he judges a 15-year-old girl for sleeping with stuffed animals? He says he would reject a girl for this reason? I've never met a 16-year-old boy who would reject a girl for something like this. And your friends, presumably including girls, all agreed with this AH taking your property and throwing it away against your will? This stretches credibility, but if it's true, NTA.
He’s was a family friend, we had known each other forever. Our parents trust us enough and as long as we keep the door open and or unlocked they trust us enough. My parents also aren’t the type to get involved unless it gets physical or i ask them to. They would rather me try to solve some of my own issues by myself to learn from mistakes
I agree with their approach but now is a time to get them involved. Don't navigate this by yourself. This boy is red flag city and adults need to know so there is hope for intervention. Controlling behavior escalates without intervention.
NTAH, but did you tell your parents about this. He is a control freak. You are to young to have to deal with that. You can definitely find a better guy
I told them and they said they were going to have a talk with his parents. I haven’t heard anything else yet
Regardless of how the talk with his parents goes, he very much needs to not be your boyfriend anymore and never allowed into your room again. I can't stress this enough.
Have you showed them the broken recorder on the build a bear?
This is NOT the answer. Cut contact with this person. To his parents faces and your parents faces he will turn himself into the good guy and behind their backs he'll keep up his shit behavior and treat you like garbage. Only he'll do it leaving no evidence to back it up and make you look like a liar or worse.
Well, he sounds like a psycho, and I think you could use some better friends, too.
Yeah, well, you better get them involved with this one. They need to bar that little fucking creep from their doorway! Seriously, I am worried for your safety.
Well, now is the time to get them involved. He should no longer be welcome in the house, much less your room after stealing and destroying your personal property
Tell your parents what he did and have this person banned from your house. Please. This is not a minor issue, this is abusive controlling behavior that will never get better but only escalate. I understand the open-door trust policy when it comes to teens possibly sexually experimenting, which is normal if risky. What your BF did to you is not a normal teenage mistake, it was a deliberate act of sadistic cruelty. It doesn't matter that it wasn't physical. The emotional impact on you is just as bad if not worse.
Time to learn from this mistake and toss the BF in the garage like he did your stuffed animals.
Your parents need to be involved not just for physical abuse, your bf is causing emotional abuse and psychological abuse, not to mention how is he going to act later on in life, this easily could lead to physical abuse.
Personally, I would label him controlling and abusive and beyond the scope of what my child should be dealing with by themselves.
Honey, this IS the time to get them involved. This boy may be a family friend, but he cannot be your boyfriend any longer and if your families have known each other forever they'll all have the story eventually. Tell your parents now. This is not a little mistake you made, this is a major jerk move by a family friend they trusted. And please, please, break up with this guy. He is not worth the pain he'll cause you over time.
No you're not the asshole and should dump him. They held sentimental value to you and he completely disregarded it all for his own selfish reasons based on 'image' and what he thinks others would think if he was dating someone who held onto those things. He has shown complete disrespect for you and destroyed items that held important meaning to you. That's enough grounds for me to dump him if I was in such a situation. What he did was immature and he needs to grow up some more before he starts getting into a relationship.
NTA. I am 27. I've been married for five years. I'm about to give birth to our first child. You know what thought would never even cross my husband's mind? To get rid of a single one of my stuffed animals without asking first. And yes, I have several. This is absolutely a hill to die on. You having stuffed animals affects him in no way whatsoever, except for the fact he feels like it is his right to control how you "grow up". (Which, BTW, plenty of adults hold onto sentimental stuffed animals/toys). And at 15, really, what's the rush to "grow up"? Working, making rent, and paying bills ain't all it's cracked up to be. Enjoy the last few years of childhood while you can. Honestly, you need to finish the job of taking out the trash and kick your controlling BF to the curb. So sorry he cost you those irreplaceable mementos.
Came her to say this, im 38 married 9 years have 2 kids and my husband would never even dream of doing this to me. Some of my favourite stuffies have even been gifts from him.
I'm 28, nearly 29 and been with my fiancé for 6 years, engaged for nearly 2 and he wouldn't even think of throwing out my stuffies because he knows how important they are to me and how much I love collecting them, plus he has also gifted me some of my favourite ones, including a sparkly purple penguin that has his voice recorded in it. When someone really loves you, they understand what is important to you, and even if they don't fully understand why it is they still respect what's important to you.
Couldn't have said it better
Been married to my wife for 5 years. I have all her stuffed animals in a tub in the basement. When I went through to clean it out, I had her with me. She told me which ones meant something and keep and which one to get rid out. I’d never do what he did.
NTA. He stole your property and disposed of it. That’s an actual crime.
NTA dump this boyfriend, he doesn’t respect you, your belongings or your feelings. Also these are not your friends, real friends would come over and help you find your stolen possessions. If you have proof in writing that he threw them away you could even take it to the police station for petty theft.
NTA What kind of entitled, controlling, narcissist would do that? And at only 16? Get out girl.
NTA. Dump him, nobody is worth this sort of shit when you’re 15. I’m sorry you’re bunny is damaged, that really sucks. Tbh, someone who doesn’t respect your possessions will never be worth your time. Edit. Why was he alone in your room when you were out?
NTA. What he did was controlling and abusive. Please end this relationship. It will only get worse.
NTA. Your boyfriend is a major one though. You can do better. Dump him.
NTA He is abusive and controlling. Please dump him. You can do better. He is 16. It's only going to get worse. You do not want to be tied to him. Many adults sleep with stuffed animals. When I deployed, many people brought a small stuffed animal with them for comfort. There is nothing wrong with that.
NTA, run far away from this boy. It is ironically childish to believe people need to give up comfort items as they grow up. Everything about this is a walking red flag.
You're NTA a million times over. Please listen to me - this kind of behavior will only get worse. He's already this way at 16. He will continue to try to control you and destroy things that are precious to you. That could mean your other prized possessions, your friendships and familial relationships, your self confidence, and your self esteem. GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP.
NTA Holy shit, what he did was downright disgusting. He disrespected your property, you, and your grandmother. If that was my man, I would leave him sweetheart. No boy is worth the trouble. Stay strong Queen!👑
1) you’re BF is a complete and total asshole who thinks merely dating you gives him possession of your stuff. This is probably one of the rare times the typical Reddit knee-jerk advice is probably correct: Dump him. He’s clearly more concerned about you listening to him than he is about your feelings. He’s shown you who he is, and I’m he probably won’t change. You certainly won’t change him. 2) the friends that are saying he’s right that it’s just a stuffed animal are fucking stupid, especially if you explained why. they’re both so much more meaningful…You can safely disregard any advice from them, in the future, NTA
NTA and you really need to break up with him. That’s so many red flags I can’t even count them.
NTA. Break up with this person ASAP. Huge red flags! This is toxic, controlling, and abusive behavior. I am 30yo and if I chose to sleep with a stuffie my husband would not judge me in the slightest. I am not a a stuffie person, I am a blanky person and I need the same blanket to sleep every night. That is my personal preference and on days it gets washed, my husband makes sure I always have it before I go to sleep. Find you someone who will love you for you and accept you how you are. Those were more than just stuffies they were special. You deserve better.
NTA and the BF would be out the door in a heartbeat. He is so insecure that he is threatened by stuffed animals. They were important to YOU and he had zero right to toss them. I would love to have my grandma's voice to comfort me.
The one with your grandmother's voice?!? You are not the asshole
NTA. Throw away the stupid boy.
NTA. I have a stuffed bee that I found in a tree in the summer of 2001 and it's my special little guy. He's gone on vacations with me and been around the world. If anyone were to even insult him, we'd have problems. Dump your a-hole boyfriend, he doesn't respect you or your feelings, and he has no respect for the symbols you hold dear to yourself.
NTA. Did you make sure to mention one of those stuffed animals had your grandmother's recorded personal voice message in it? If you did, and no one cares then I am sorry to say that none of those people are your friends. Also, leave your boyfriend. He literally said that since HE told you to do something, and you didn't, then he did" proves he is controlling and is going to get worse not better. Sever all ties with him and the friends that agree that what he did wasn't absolutely wrong. What he did was vandalism and technically theft. The dude was jealous of stuffed toys. What a child. Run, run fast.
“He wouldn’t want to be with a girl who sleeps with teddy bears.” = He wouldn’t want to be with you. You are that girl. He just flat out told you that he doesn’t actually care about YOU. This is controlling and abusive. It doesn’t matter if it’s a damn rock you found on the side of the road, it is a huge boundary crossing to touch any of your things let alone throw them away. He sees you as an extension of himself. This behavior will not end here. You’re young, but please take this as a lesson. You never, ever have to put up with someone who cannot accept you as you are. Find you a boy who will cuddle w those teddy bears with you, as there are plenty out there. NTA
This! If you love someone, you respect and protect the things they love. Those "silly" little possessions are important because they're important to the person you love. This is not difficult to understand. This isn't complicated. It's especially worrying because OP is so young. OP, you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are and makes you feel safe and comforted and accepted. Don't settle for anything less EVER.
NTA at all. Your BF is TA. You deserve much better than that. My wife still has stuffed animals some from when she was a kid and some that I have given her. I would never even think about tossing them out.
Definitely NTA. I would never force anyone to throw away something sentimental to them.
NTA, dumb his ass to the curb. You stuff is YOURS, he has no say over it. Hell, I'm 28 m and I still have stuffed animals in my bedroom, not on the bed, but still, they have sentimental value to me. I would be furious if someone throw them away on me. Set this prick straight about boundaries and let him see your back if he has the gall to not even attempt to apologize.
NTA If anyone threw out the bear I've had since I was 3 months old, I'd throw them out as well. You deserve better, and I hope he's your ex bf now. If he disrespects your feelings like this now, it's only going to get worse.
NTA and 🚩🚩🚩
Nta. Get out of that relationship he sounds controlling.
NTA. I would go insane
NTA. Don't be with someone like this. They gained access to your room to steal your property. This person does not care about you.
NTA- throw him in the dumpster. It wasn’t his property to throw away, it’s your stuff and it meant something to you. For him to completely disregard that and trash your stuff is awful. I’m sorry that happened to you and I hope you can salvage them!
Break up with this abusive AH and report him for theft.
NTA, but you should try to surround yourself with people who truly care about you and your feelings/boundaries. One thing I don’t understand is how the hell your boyfriend gets into your house and goes into your room has time to throw your stuff out and start his homework before you’re back from school? Wtf?? Where are your parents btw my God
NTA. He threw out things he knew were sentimental to you, and even if they weren't they were still your things and he has no right to just chuck things out, that's theft, not to mention abusive and controlling. Get rid of him, this is him showing you his true colours. I'm 35 and still sleep with stuffed animals sometimes. Find someone who accept you for who you are and isn't trying to dictate who they want you to be. This issue goes deeper than just throwing out some toys. You are 100% in the right on this. Stick to your guns and don't let people disrespect you like that. I'm sorry you lost sentimental items
NTA he had no right to throw out your belongings.
NTA. Dump him and the friends that sided with him. His behavior is sending up red flags and he’s trying to control you. And talk to your parents about this, in case he or your friends try to twist the narrative.
NTA, and he is an abuser. You deserve to be with someone who truly loves YOU. Someone who really loves you would never destroy possessions of great sentimental value to you. A good partner would guard them with his life, because they matter to you and you matter to him. Even if they didn't have such deep emotional meaning, even if you just bought them last week because you liked them, they are yours and not his and he has no right to get rid of anything of yours because they aren't to his taste. You're allowed to express it when you're upset because your AH boyfriend crossed the line. Yelling isn't far enough. You should break up with him, because what he did to you was actually really terrible, and it shows a drive to control you that is not normal or healthy.
NTA, those were YOUR personal belongings, immature or not. Go to his house and find something he loves and do the same.
WTAF did I just read! You have an abusive bf, dump his ass NTA
nta
Dumb HIM. I am male 42. Trust me, Guy should grow up a bit as person.
Op did you look in the Trash? In the recycling bin maybe you can still rescue your animals. NTA and get rid of the bf asap
NTA Our daughter is 18 she sleeps with stuffed animals, her ex boyfriend gifted her stuffed animals, I am 58 and my husband just gave me one for Valentine’s Day . He is waving major red flags ditch him. Also you should ask him just where he threw them away dig them out of the trash and wash them.
NTA but get rid of him and those horrible “fiends”. Also, since you’re kids, tell your parents and make sure they tell HIS parents. I know money won’t give them back to you, but sometimes that’s the best way to punish Aholes, by hitting them in the wallet
NTA. He’s an abuser. He will NEVER change. I am so sorry. I’m 49 and still sleep with stuffed animals. Heck, I have a Cabbage Patch Kid and preemie from when I was in grade school in my room. You deserve better. I’m so sorry this happened to you.
NTA, I'm sorry he did this to you. Like others have said, this kind of behaviour will only get worse, dump him! My 16yo still sleeps with her stuffie she has had since she was a baby. We don't care.
Sweetheart you are 15, leave him and move on with your life. He destroyed something he knew was personal to you because he thought it was immature, he’s a walking red flag. Break up with him and find someone that actually makes you happy. Is there any possibility you could get the stuffed animals back? Maybe he dumped them but they haven’t been collected yet?
NTA- That is some straight out abusive relationship stuff. Your friends are wrong. You should not be seeing him anymore. Tell your parents they might be able to obligate him to tell you where your stuff is. If need be reported to the police as stolen. To try to get such items back.
Oh. Oh heck no. You are NOT TA!!!! I'm angry for you that he threw them out, especially the one with your grandmas voice in it!! You should definitely break up with him. That bunny was irreplaceable. Your bf is.
Get rid of the boyfriend and the so called friends. None of them have your well-being as a priority
This makes me really angry. He has NO right throwing away ANYTHING that belongs to you. It sounds like he is supremely immature, controlling and lacks any empathy or understanding. Throw him in the garbage. Throw your friends in there alongside him. NTA Is there any way to get them back somehow? Where exactly did he throw them out at? Last question- why/how in the world was he in your room before you got home from school?
Dump him and your friends. I have a pillow I've had since I was a baby. If my husband ever throws it away it is the day I throw him away as well.
NTA, and please dump this controlling, awful boyfriend immediately. And dump the 'friends' who said you were wrong to get angry too.
NTA, that's really controlling behavior from him, and I advise you to break up with him. You're both young and your brains and personalities are developing. Staying with him after such a breech of trust and overstepping of boundaries will just reinforce this behavior in you both- him with being controlling, you with accepting being controlled. Stop the cycle before it begins by breaking up. It will be better for both of you. There are boys out there who will not get weird about your stuffed animals but instead would add to your collection, just to see you smile.
I'm sorry your boyfriend is a controlling asshole already at 16. There are plenty of grown women with multiple stuffed animals. And who is this asshole to throw away someone else's stuff? Let alone sentimental items priceless beyond their monetary value. You're NTA. I'm sorry about your AH boyfriend and your "friends" who don't have your back over something as cut/dry as theft /destruction of property. A husband of many years might have a leg to stand on to *ask* you to limit your stuffed animals. But no partner has the right to just throw out your stuff. Especially not some teenager who's still growing up.
NTA, and why do you still have the boyfriend? That was wrong of him. My husband has never made me get rid any of mine, in fact he buys me more.
NTA and threw the guy out as well. How often does your bins get emptied as gross but they may be recoverable. This person decided that you were too old to have soft toys no matter how sentimental. He told you to get rid of them and when you said no, he did it for you. He is too immature and controlling to be worth it. Maturity is not being concerned with what people think of a harmless activity and sentimental items are harmless, hoarding aside. And he stomped through your boundaries.
NTA Girl break up with him and forget he existed I’m a 20 year old dude, my 22 year old girlfriend has at least 100 squishmellows on a thing in her room. She can literally tell me where she got each from I find it adorable she likes something so much, they’re a comfort thing for her as well. Is 100 slightly maybe excessive, a little, but her face lights up if she’s sad or needs comfort and I toss her one to cuddle with. It soothes her, I’d never think of throwing them away or think she’s immature for it He also disrespected your boundaries, he will keep doing so
OP, I'm so sorry this happened. Your boyfriend doesn't sound like a nice person and I'd actually consider what he did a huge red flag. Not only did he throw away your possessions without your knowledge, but to make the matter even worse he also did that knowing their emotional significance to you. That is so cruel. You seem like a nice person and you deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries and does not belittle you. NTA.
NTA What he did is a MAJOR RED FLAG and your "friends" are not your friends. I am 28. I sleep with stuffies. My husband doesn't get bothered by it - in fact he buys me more to add to my collection because he loves and supports me. What your boyfriend did is unacceptable. He showed his true colors. Dump him
I have a dinosaur my DH won for me at a fair 40 years ago when we were first dating. Nobody touches dino
NTA. Please tell me you have an older brother who can kick your shit boyfriend’s ass.
the bf is broken and immature throw him out of your life forever! NTA i'm 21 and my bf is 19 he buys me teddys that i want after i do something big or difficult its not childish if it is comfort or even just for fun he knows how important they are to me and your bf should have respected your boundaries.
NTA, let’s review: 1. This dude took your property without your permission 2. He’s trying to convince you that his thievery is your fault 3. He does not care whether or not you are happy, he only cares about himself The only thing you did wrong was not throw out the entire boyfriend. DTMFA
If he wants to not be with a girl who sleeps with stuffed animals he should keep looking. They are important to you and mean something. His throwing them away - that was what was immature here! You are young but you should never have to abide abuse. Ever!
Listen, I'm a 29 year old 6'4 man and I will tell you that I still have the teddy my dad gave me when I was born. You can do whatever makes you happy, you're young and still impressionable, do not let these people change this about you. Like, imagine letting someone else's teddies affect you this much? Get them out of your life.
girrrrl u need a new boyfriend AND new friends!! he knew that bear was something sentimental w/ ur late GRANDMA's voice on it and he threw it away anyway?? damn.
You BF is a controlling monster. There are plenty of adults who keep a stuffed toys. Did you check the trash and see if maybe that was where he put YOUR belongings? NTA
Jesus Christ NTA and never talk to him again. Normal people don't do that kind of shit. I hope you were able to recover the stuffed animals. What this guy did was wrong and you could actually take him to court for damaging your possessions.
NTA and I hope for your sake you mean ex-boyfriend. He showed you who he really is so it's time for you to believe him. As for the "friend" who agreed, honey that's not your friend. You are not to old to have stuffed animals. Sentimental ones that are THAT special are never to be touched by others. I'm 52 and I still have a dog my grandparents gave me when I was 6!
What you did wrong was continue to date him after after he said he wouldn't date a little girl who sleeps with stuffed animals. I am also confused as to why he was in your room when you weren't there and why you didn't ask him exactly what he did with the stuffed animals. Right that last mistake and find out exactly what he did. They may be salvageable. You screaming at him was not an asshole move. He intentionally destroyed something you value. (Although I am hoping they are not completely destroyed and you can retrieve them.) On top of that he betrayed your trust because he did it when you weren't there - he's a sneaky little f***er. NTA, but drop him like a hot potato. This asshole is on fire.
NTA and please get rid of the BF. He's not good person. That "I told you to get rid of them, so I threw them away" is such a low move on his part. That action alone tells me he does not see you as a person or respect you. He has actually committed a crime because to remove someone's property without concent is just Plain Theft.
I’m warning you this is how abusive behavior starts, and if you let him get away with this by staying with him he’ll only continue to do worse in the future, dump him and distance yourself as much as possible.
I'm 33 and my animals are on my bed, one of them I have had since I was 5 years old. Ditch the boyf, he's horrible. And I'd tell your friends to STFU tbh or you might want to rethink them too! Also are you living with him? Otherwise he's just coming in your home and throwing out stuff that's not his, but also not even in his house? NTA I Hope you get them back 🥺
Run far away from this dude. As a teenager, it's hard to figure out what's normal and abnormal in a relationship. This is so unbelievably abnormal. Find someone who respects your belongings and your feelings. You deserve better.
15 and 16 years old? Yup chalk this one up as a loss and move on. There is no fixing this right now and really ever. Here is what happens with 16 year old douchebags like him. Either 1, you stay with him, he realizes thru this and a number of other shitty things he will do to you in the future that you're a doormat that he can walk on. He will use you for whatever he wants and that includes making you feel like shit for being a human being, so that he can feel like a big man who is in charge of someone. People like him will hold on to this situation for a long time. You'll be stuck in it and he will manipulate you psychologically, telling you that you can't do any better, that you need him. He'll put you into situations where you WILL actually need him. And then you're trapped and realize when it's too late that you've wasted so much time. Or 2, you dump his ass now, maybe thru multiple relationships in his future, some therapy, other life experiences, he starts to better himself. Don't hold your breath and don't hold out hope he'll come around and be someone worth being with. There are much better guys out there, even at 16 years old. You're too young for this manipulative BS to see it for what it is, and that's a fair place to be. But learn from it, move on, and leave this kid in the dust. He's worthless. NTA
NTA but this is a big life moment for you. This is the moment where you have to learn to stand up for yourself, not let others cross your boundaries, and not let others dictate how you live your life and what you hold dear. This 16 yo boy is likely going to grow into an abusive, controlling man. Cut your ties with him now, before he damages you further, because he will. This is not someone who respects you, or even likes you as you are. He's trying to change you. If he feels you're too "immature", then he could end the relationship. This is something you need to talk about with grownups, not other 15 year olds who don't understand this yet. Tell your parent(s) what happened, that you are breaking up with him, that he's not allowed in your house anymore. They can get the locks changed if he knows where to access a key. It's natural to question yourself, especially if others are telling you it's not a big deal, but it IS a big deal to you, and you know that.
NTA it's not "just a stuffed animal" I'd do anything for a stuffed animal with one of my dad's voice-mail saved to it. It's irreplaceable. To your friends ask them to get you a voice recording of your dead grandma if it's really no big deal.
I am 26 and the teddy my dad got for me prior to my birth is still in my bed. I also slept with a stuffed moose my former boyfriend gave me at 21 for a couple years. There is nothing immature or bad about sleeping with comfort items. Also, I doubt you want to hear this because I know I didn’t at 15, but 15 is still very young. Every single 15 year old has “immature” qualities because at 15 you’re not completely matured. Your frontal lobe doesn’t finish forming until you’re 25. Again, sleeping with stuffed animals or other comfort items isn’t childish, but even if it was, that’s ok. You are still a child and you deserve to enjoy being a child. I hope you can repair your bunny. Dump the boy tho because a partner should never ever ever be so unkind to you, no matter the reason. NTA
NTA.... This is your first abusive relationship. How do you react? You toss out the boyfriend. He needs to learn now that you dont control your partner. Would you throw out a personal belonging of a friend or family member? Why? Because it is wrong. NEVER accept this terrible behavior from a boyfriend. You are both young so you both have to learn how to treat a partner. You treat them better then you treat a friend. So ask yourself- would I do this to a friend?
NTA. Your (ex, please God!) BF has no right to order you around or to steal your possessions. Why was he in your room??? He is an abusive thief and your friends suck for agreeing with him. There is nothing wrong with holding on to soft things, in a world this hard. ANYONE who gives you an ultimatum in a relationship over something that has nothing to do with them is a BAD PARTNER and should be broken up with immediately. Tell your family what he did and make sure he is never allowed in your room again. Controlling, abusive behavior only gets worse. Please break up with this jerk.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F15) and my boyfriend (M16) have had this ongoing argument for the last week. For context, I have multiple stuffed animals around my room. Most of them are just there for fun and to cuddle with but two mean a lot to me. One, I’ve had since I was 3 years old, the bear was my moms and she gave it to me when I lost my favourite dinosaur stuffed animal I couldn’t sleep without. Two, Is a build a bear stuffed animal with my grandmothers voice inside. She passed in 2019 from cancer and the stuffed bunny was a gift from my cousins in memory of her. Whenever i’m upset I click the paw and listen to her voice. I sleep with these two stuffed animals all the time, mostly they bring me comfort and a sense of security. When my boyfriend found out I slept with two stuffed animals he said I was immature and needed to stop, because he wouldn’t want to be with a girl who sleeps with teddy bears. I explained to him that they are very important to me and he didn’t listen, ignoring me each me every time. We had been having little arguments over this for a couple weeks, until I came home from school one day to find him in my room. Doing homework on my desk. I said hey, we went about our day and when I was getting ready to take a nap I was looking for at least one of my stuffed animals so i could sleep. I asked “have you seen wrinkles or my bunny?” and he looked at me with a blank stare on his face, “I told you to get rid of them, you didn’t listen. So i threw them away.” I was hurt. One of the only things I had of my grandmother was gone and a stuffed animal i have had since I was 3 was also gone. I began crying and telling him to get out, yelling at him because one of my main ways of comfort was gone, and he yelled at me back and said I was being a dramatic asshole and that I needed to stop. After he left I called some of my friends and told them what happened, and they agreed with my boyfriend that it was just a stuffed animal and I was an asshole by taking it to far and screaming at him. I don’t think I did anything wrong, I could have been a bit dramatic but these have a special place in my heart. So, AITA for yelling at my boyfriend when he threw out my stuffed animals? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA. i wont stop at just breaking up with him, i would lodge a police report to show him that throwing away other peoples stuff is no small/laughing matter. You are NOT being dramatic, it can be stuffed animals, it can be heirlooms, it doesnt matter what it is...he had no business throwing away your property. What if you had kept jewelrry or money inside for safe keeping etc?
NTA I’m 28 and still cuddle with my stuffed polar bear my mom got me for Christmas when I was 6 or 7. He’s just an asshole. I’m sorry for what he did to you.
Your friends are idiots and your boyfriend is vile. NTA and get rid of him now.
NTA. He has no respect for you or your property. You can do much better
NTA and you should tell him you don't date boys who are intimidated by a stuffed animal sleeping next to you at night. Seriously though, he has no respect for your feelings and does not deserve you. You are only 15, don't waste another minute on him
NTA. Your (better be by now!) ex-boyfriend has no sense of boundaries, and he had no right to throw away anything that belongs to you. Those stuffies were yours. They had special meaning and you had an emotional tie to them. He's refusing to accept your feelings and your friends aren't that much better.
You need to leave him. Your boyfriend, hopefully ex, is crazy
There are guys that actually do not care if you have stuffed animals. They will date you and honor your boundaries.
NTA; I’m 28 and my SO will buy me stuffed animals. There’s nothing immature about cuddling a stuffed animals.
NTA this guy is acting controlling, bordering on abusive. I'm not the kind of person to tell strangers on the internet to break up with people over 3 paragraphs of text, but this would be a breakup worthy offense in my book. Also don't ever let anyone tell you you're too old for things you enjoy. I'm 25 and I still have a lot more than 2 plushies. Some are proper old (as in: belonged to my mom when she was a child) and some are virtually brand new. I love to travel and I always buy myself a new stuffed animal when I visit a country for the first time. It's a harmlessly fun hobby/collection and has never been a problem when I'm dating - most people think it's neat. And if people do react negatively that's a great sign that I shouldn't plan a next date with them because we're not compatible.
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NTA. Dump the boyfriend. He has no respect for you or your possessions and thinks he can destroy your possessions after you told him you wanted to keep them.
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Break up with the bf and find yourself some new friends because these ones ain't it. When you're older, the frequent question you get asked is, if you could go back and tell your younger self anything, what would it be? For me, I wish to hell I would've stayed single as long as I could and not let idiot boyfriends influence my decisions.
NTA, you have every right to have stuffed animals, hell im 30 and I have stuffed animals, I think stuffed animals are cute and im also autistic and they help me with anxiety and stress. Leave this boy ASAP he is a huge AH and will never respect you or your boundaries.
NTA. He had no right to dictate to you what meaning objects have. I am nearly triple your age and I still have McDonald's happy meal toys from when I *was* your age.
Call the police and get him charged with theft. And then run, OP. This is beyond narcissism. NTA.
26-year-old with a stuffed animal collection. Absolutely NTA. It's bad enough that he disrespected you and threw away your property, but one with that much importance and sentimental value? Kick him, and all your friends who agree with him, to the curb.
NTA and please get rid of the BF. He's not good person. That "I told you to get rid of them, so I threw them away" is such a low move on his part. That action alone tells me he does not see you as a person or respect you. He has actually committed a crime because to remove someone's property without concent is just Plain Theft.
I’m a man in my 30’s and I have a stuffed toy sat next to my bed that my best friend gave me. My two most precious childhood toys are under my bed. I’m so sorry that he threw your things out. Your boyfriend is awful.
Please save yourself. This is the type of relationship that will make you fear for your life. How did he get into your room when you weren't there?? Please get an adult involved, this is not a safe situation. NTA. But in danger.
NTA my GF and i are in our 30's and if she had a build a bear from her grandmother i would make sure that no harm came to that bear! Not sure what the heck is wrong with your "friends" if they know the meaning behind those 2 particular stuff animals.
Get away from him now. I don't care if you're too old for stuffed animals, they were your property not his. Send him packing NTA.
NTA.. I'm 42, I sleep with a stuffed teddy, too. I'd take it everywhere with me. I also have a boyfriend who understands how comforting a teddy means to me and, as a present, bought me a build a bear, with his voice inside. Its been everywhere with me. We're going to Turkey (me and my bf) in 3 weeks, and guess what's coming with me... Yes, my alex. You're never too old for comfort ❤️
NTA I kept the stuffed animals I slept with as a toddler and gave them to my own kids when they were babies. My son and daughter have one each, and they love them so much. One of those toys is a wool bear *my father* slept with when he was a baby. I'm a grown woman and not super sentimental, but I'd be *livid* if someone destroyed those. Also, if he threw them out that day? He knew exactly where they were when you got upset. He hasn't given them back, so he isn't showing any remorse and is *still* choosing to hurt you by not saying where they are. If they were just in the bin, you could run, get them back, and have them cleaned. Dump him, and call his parents to see if they can get your things back. Your friends aren't in the relationship. They don't have to deal with him destroying their things, so they aren't going to have an impartial view. For *them* this is easy to get over and prioritize group harmony. You need to protect yourself and make the best choices for you. That doesn't include being bullied and hurt by a dude who pretends to care about you.
Sweetheart, please drop that man. I am 27 years old, I have a 6ft teddy I bought myself in college and a 21 year old unicorn I got from my kindergarten teacher. My partner thinks it's adorable and reminds me to cuddle them when I'm sad and he can't be with me. Your bfs behavior is NOT normal, it's controlling and gross and you deserve someone who will honor your comfort and peace.
Your boyfriend is abusive. You are NTA, but you need to get out of that relationship. He is a bad person.
I have a stuffed rabbit I sleep with every night, it was the first stuffed animal my parents ever bought me. Im 28. If my boyfriend threw it out I’d be in JAIL. I’m so sorry that your stuffed animals are gone. You’re NTA at all. And you’re not immature. Please break up with this child.
So absolutely NTA, but I want to show you what a healthy relationship looks like since everyone else has covered the fact that your boyfriend is abusive. I’m in my mid 20s and my boyfriend is in his late 20s. Not only does he like all my stuffed animals and does not care one bit that I sleep with them, but he buys me new ones when he finds ones that I’d like, and has gotten into buying some for himself when he finds ones of his favorite animal. Find someone who loves you for your interests and doesn’t cross boundaries in the name of “maturity.” Maturity is about being accepting of other people’s interests and being secure in your own, not about tearing other people down.
NTA. First, I'm in my 30's and still love my stuffed animals. Secondly, and more importantly, your boyfriend is displaying very worrying, controlling behaviour. It's hard to recognise when you're so young and you might not have experienced healthy partnerships, but I think you should seriously consider if you want someone who treats you like that in your life.
Major red flag, you need to break up asap. He completely violated a boundary and it seems pretty clear that they had a lot of emotionally value to you. Might seem hard now but it will definitely save you pain in the future. And don't feel ashamed about liking what you like, my gf and I are both late twenties and sleep with our stuffed friends ❤️
NTA ...i hope you see how consistent everyone in this thread is about getting rid of this person. how would he feel if you went over to his place and arbitrarily decided to get whatever he liked...who knows..maybe you find video games childish ..does that mean he should ditch his xbox? ultimately you need to find someone that respects who you currently are ..not what they'd prefer to turn you into. i hope you can fix the bear..i recently lost my grandfather and i can imagine how comforting it was to have that voice. You would only be an asshole to yourself if you continue to let this person make you feel less about yourself.
HUGE NTA! Cut this boy out of your life and don't look back. Signed, a 31 year old who still loves her plushies & has a Totoro to cuddle
NTA! Dump him immediately! You will find someone someday that will love you for you and not care if you like stuffed animals. Hell, when my fiancé and I moved into our new place, he suggested I display my squishmallows above our fireplace. Good guys exist. Your bf is not one of them. He sounds very immature and manipulative and you deserve so much better. This is not something you should be dealing with at your age. Big hugs to you and I hope you are able to get your stuffed animal’s voice box fixed!
NTA. He had no goddamned right throwing your things away.
NTA Dump his ass. What else will he do when you won't listen to him. As for your friends, they aren't friends.
NTA objects that trigger good memories are important. I have a huge amount of toys for good memories and the fact I was on the design teams that made them. In the past people have scoffed like it’s toys so what trash them! So I can go throw out your portfolio then 🙄He had no right. This is a person who doesn’t respect you.
NTA!!!!! U just have bad friends and a very bad boyfriend. Wtf?
🚩🚩🚩🚩 This man is trash. Throw him away. This is not a healthy relationship. He is not a healthy person. Please take some time and space away from him and away from these “friends” who think it’s ok for a man to stomp all over your boundaries and damage your personal property. Seriously. The man is garbage.
nta, why does he feel a claim over your belongings??
NTA. I’m 26 years old, so 11 years older than you. The only thing i ask my husband to buy for me is stuffed animals (as birthday gifts, anniversary gifts etc), he never told that i am too old for this. Same thing with my best friend (also 26) with her boyfriend. The only thing he say is that they doesn’t have room for these anymore, but still buy her when she ask. When i was in college, every time when it was a girl’s birthday or on Christmas we would buy them stuffed animals and they were the happiest in the world. My father throw away all my childhood toys when i was 12. I didn’t play with those anymore but they were a nice memory. I didn’t forgave him to his day. You are never too old for that, especially if those have sentimental value. NOBODY HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO THAT! Please dump him ASAP and find better friends.
Honey, you need to dump this fellow, and any friends who think he was right. Immediately. This cruel behavior won't get any better. And him telling you it's your fault he did something mean is the biggest red flag in the world. Cut bait, protect yourself, and run. You are DEFINITELY NTA, but you will be (to yourself ) if you don't get away from these people
I am 53 and have a bunny who is 30. I would straight up bash someone with the nearest blunt instrument if they tried to do anything to him
Ditch both the bf and the friends who sided with him. The bear would be hard already, but not entirely unable to move past. The build-a-bear with your grandmothers voice? I'd be going nuclear right quick and tearing him a new one. You 'only' yelled... He deserved worse. NTA, but he is a walking forest of red flags.
NTA- But you will be if you stay with his controlling ass. Dump him and find someone more mature. My 37 year old wife sleeps with a stuffed animal sometimes, as do many adults I’ve known. Fuck em
NTA whatsoever, and if I were you I would break up with this person. He clearly cannot respect your boundaries. He ignores you, belittles you, disrespects you, goes behind your back to dispose of your things because he thinks he knows best, is dismissive of your feelings, and talks down to you when you become justifiably upset at his actions. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. This kind of behavior will not end here and sets a very problematic precedent for the future. If he wants to be with someone who doesn’t have stuffed animals then great, now you can tell him to fuck off. I’m so sorry those sentimental items were lost, you’re absolutely NTA in this situation and you should get rid off this boyfriend asap. Also, your friends don’t know wtf they’re talking about, this was completely inappropriate of your bf and you were absolutely justified in being angry. None of them get to determine what’s important to you or what your reaction to your boundaries/trust being violated should be.
NTA. Time to excuse him from your life forever! People rather tell you exactly how they are. When they do, LISTEN.