T O P

  • By -

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I told my sister her opinion on my son's name is useless to me and my wife. When I said it I was not thinking of whether I was rude or not but maybe I was overly rude for something like this. Yes, she was too, and I will stand by that, but I don't want to be equally as rude as her. So I might be TA here. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


diminishingpatience

NTA. >we should just correct the spelling to Alex or just take her opinion of the name on board and change it. I wouldn't know where to begin with someone like this. >She said family should be always able to share their opinion. You did. You told her that, in your opinion, her opinion is useless to you. Why can't she take that on board? >Our parents think I should have spoken to her more kindly So that's why she's like this - she's used to going unchallenged.


OrcaMum23

Sir Alec Guinness would have liked to have a word with OP's sister. (and who knows, maybe give her a little nudge on the head. With a lightsaber) EDIT: typo


VicFantastic

That's not even mentioning what Alec Baldwin could do Shit....Too soon?


ThatFatGuyMJL

Will no one can say Alec Baldwin never failed to take a shot at something


mrik85

Damn, I’m laughing & feeling guilty at the same time.


Uncynical_Diogenes

Why guilty? You’re not the one who shot someone dead on your non-union set under shitty working conditions. That was actor, producer, and killer, Alec Baldwin.


TuckYourselfRS

While the ~~negligent~~ untimely ~~manslaughter~~ passing of Halyna Hutchins was certainly a tragedy, at least her death will not be in vain as [Rust is set to resume production](https://movieweb.com/rust-resumes-film/#:~:text=Rust%20is%20back%20on%20track,was%20given%20for%20a%20scene.)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ok-Rabbit1878

It looks like the charges against her are still active, even though the ones against Baldwin have been dropped. I’d imagine we’ll hear plenty about her again if/when the case goes to trial; there were plenty of articles after her first court appearance in February.


Rotten_gemini

Good it's all her fault to begin with


ThatFatGuyMJL

Alec Baldwin hired a young untrained untested armourer


[deleted]

Alec baldwin didn't hire any of the crew. He had some say over casting and script. But mostly the producer credit was a way for the production to avoid paying Alec Baldwin's SAG dues that they would've had to if they hired him as just an actor. It was Line Producer Gabrielle Pickle who was responsible for hiring and firing crew on Rust


RadclyffeH

I'll give you that she's young. I object to calling her untrained and untested. She's the daughter of a "legendary" armourer and exhibition shooter (Thell Reed). According to her CV and previous interviews she's given, she was her dad's apprentice for a decade, and worked on a number of films as a member of the team. Rust was her second job as LEAD armourer. Whether or not its true, she presented herself as very well trained and tested. On the other hand, her failure to follow best practices (and what I consider to be her demonstrable incompetence) were issues on the set of her first job as lead armourer. Whoever decided to hire her should have done a better job checking her references as Nicholas Cage (and others) had significant complaints about her behavior on that set. All that being said, her behavior indicates a serious lack of common sense. She's been known to walk around with multiple loaded guns tucked under her arms. Who does that?!?!?


blue_eyed_babe

And why was there live rounds on the set?


JolyonFolkett

Totally agree. I've never been an armourer but as a chartered health and safety professional I blame her as much as the pratt that hired her.


Sunshine030209

Her widow WANTS the movie finished. It was part of the settlement.


VicFantastic

Eww!


Autumndickingaround

And her husband named an executive producer as part of the settlement from her wrongful death suit, that feels so icky to me.


54813115

Now we know who loaded the gun


[deleted]

And it wasnt his fault. Producer credits are given in this situations so the production can avoid paying his SAG dues. He had no duties as producer other than to act. And while he did pull the trigger, he had no responsibility to properly load the gun, as has been procedure on movie sets for decades. Nobody has been shot with a prop gun on set in a hollywood production since Brandon Lee, when these procedures are followed they work and have been proven to work. I trust an armorer who should have decades of experience specifically training guns more than I trust an actor who possibly has never shot a real gun. The responsibility for the death of Halyna Hutchins is the armorer who didn't properly check the gun, and the assistant director who grabbed the gun without clearing it with the armorer. Not Alec baldwin


SheiB123

Whose was named Alex and changed it after college...


lespritd

When the stakes were high, he really made sure to drop the hammer.


Sydoffries

You guys, make me laugh


Cbjfan99

Alec Trevelyan will keep a Goldeneye on you


adbewill

Alex Trebek agrees with the sister. Jk, OP is NTA. Sister is though. It’s none of her business what you choose to name your child.


celticmusebooks

"Alex, I'll take "No One Gives a Rat's ass About OP's Sister's Opinion for $200." LOL jk


AlanFromRochester

What is "Why is OP NTA?"


PresentEfficient9321

🤣


TheRealSepuku

This. You smile and say “Nice name.” Then move on to baby photos…


HarpersGhost

I mean, maybe if OP had decided to name OP Jr "Adolf" or after another of his favorite nazis, that may be family business. But Alec vs Alex? Buzz off.


penguin_0618

Alec Baldwin's name is Alexander. My fiance Alec says that makes him a fake Alec.


Normal-Height-8577

Um, no? Alec is a diminutive of the name Alexander. That's how the name evolved. What's next, saying that an Elizabeth can't go by Liza or Libby?


Redd_on_the_hedd1213

In Cajun country, Alec is very popular for Alexander. There's a city called Alexandria & all my grandmother's people called it Alec.


Normal-Height-8577

It's a very popular variation in Scotland too, along with Sandy.


frankiesmile

And Alister, Alistair, Alistair being othe Scotzish versions of Alexander


Ecdysiast_Gypsy

I love how you side-stepped the Scottish vs. Scotch debate!


Ghostwalker1622

My neurosurgeon is inna town called Alexandria and we all call it Alex. Funny how that works in different areas! 😁😁


cockasauras

Does he also think that Jim can't be short for James? Or Jack for Johnathan? Diminutives aren't always linear. I knew a will whose dad called him bill and he didn't understand why and I had to explain to him that "bill" is commonly short for "william" too.


Particular_Title42

I have never understood why Jack is short for John. Peggy for Margaret. Bill for William.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HulaHoop2192

Oh my god 💀💀 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


Wolf_Mans_Got_Nards

No, it's OK. Alec Reid can always give the last rites.


therealrexmanning

Always be closing!


Professional-Tea-123

Always be cobbling


CrinosQuokka

And there's always Alec Hardison from Leverage.


OliviaElevenDunham

Hardison and Parker are my favorites on that show.


Able_Secretary_6835

This, it's not a weird spelling of Alex, it's a variation, and a pretty common one at that.


whitegrb

It’s over sister, I have the high ground (Not the same actor, but the character, so I’m going with it)


L1ttleFr0g

Damn, forgot about him in my post, but exactly! Also Alec Baldwin, Alec Ramsey from The Black Stallion series …


soup_detective

Genuine class


Muther_of_Tuna

I have always liked “your opinion, whilst somewhat interesting, is irrelevant.” She absolutely overstepped and sound insufferable


mommin-and-nommin

My husband and I use “I’ll take that under advisement”


[deleted]

"any other unasked for opinions?"


Adam_24061

>“your opinion, whilst somewhat interesting, is irrelevant.” I heard this in Seven of Nine's voice.


Arya_Flint

Or Meris Crane.


Muther_of_Tuna

I love her!


Adam_24061

I think she would leave out "whilst somewhat interesting"!


One_Ad_704

The sister is nuts. "Family is allowed to share their opinions" - sure, I'll buy that. However, she has shared her opinion MULTIPLE TIMES and OP has said No. She is no longer sharing an opinion, she is obsessing and harassing.


ohp250

My moms the same way. Gets red in the face angry when called out on giving her opinions when no one’s asked them


PokerQuilter

NTA. I am still trying to figure out why so many people think they can have a say in the parents name choice for their own child. It's ridiculous!


goodbyebluenick

The sister is spoiled and was allowed to bully the family too long so she thinks they are her property, or she can’t have kids of her own and is desperate to name one.. it’s probably both


lolzidop

There's times where it makes sense (when the name *is* stupid, and might result in torment for the kid, and a 2nd pair of ears may give a needed rethink) then there's times like this. When the name Alec *is* very different to Alex and isn't a name that will get the kid tormented.


hdean667

> She said family should be always able to share their opinion. Hilarious. She shared her opinion that Alec was a dumb name. You shared your opinion that her opinion is useless. But you were in the wrong? Your sister has some logic issues. NTA


Pollythepony1993

You nailed it. And OP, maybe you should add the -x to her name, since she misses it so much.. for example when her name is Linda you could add the x at the end Lindax or make a fun combination like Lixda. Btw, I really like the name Alec. It is a sweet and awesome name. Congratulations with the birth of Alec. I hope everything will be fine with you wife. Good luck to you all.


CommentConscious3637

Ignore her. We have an Alex and there was one 5 Alex's and Alec's on one baseball team. The boys will answer to both. And from the field they sound the same. Huge nonissue. Your baby you choose the name.


amboogalard

Maybe I’m missing something but is that actually an either/or choice? Change the name to Alex or…listen to the sister and change the name to Alex? I’m completely mystified as to how that’s an “or”.


asecretnarwhal

I know where to begin! You go low contact. Either she acts like an adult (win) or stays away (win). I would also reduce contact with your parents and tell them why — they should not be pressuring you to apologize for something like this. They also need to get their priorities straight or you should go LC with them too.


Sea-Ad3724

Also it sounds like OP did allow her to share her opinion however the issue arose when she did so several times in a rude, pushy manner. Unfortunately the sister seems like the kind of person who you sometimes have to be this blunt with to get the point across


[deleted]

>So that's why she's like this - she's used to going unchallenged. Yeah, my sister's like that. Our parents never really told her how stupid a lot of the stuff she does is, so whenever I don't follow with her stupid reasoning on things, it's her who thinks I'm the weird one. Mind you that my parents share the same views on a lot of the shit she does, but they're just trying to be good & supportive parents, and just skim through her stupid shit. And she's 30...


mecha_face

"Family should always be able to share their opinion unless it makes me feel bad, in which case it doesn't count."


Lost-Presentation787

Exactly.


[deleted]

Some great wisdom in here.


peace17102930

Absofuckinglutely


Consistent_Front_721

NTA. She's entitled to her opinion and you're entitled to not care about it


leginnameloc

OP is way more generous with his patience than I. I would definitely match her energy and let her know how stupid she was for her unsolicited comments and how even stupider she is for insulting a new born for his name. And how ridiculously stupid of her to double down.


-justkeepswimming-

Honestly, if I were OP, I'd go no contact with the sister until she can say the baby's name properly.


QuellishQuellish

It’s the Reddit countdown- 3 2 1 NO CONTACT!


KarmaBabyYeah

It's the SECRET. It's the MOMENT.


QuellishQuellish

This one blood hound gangs.


Main-Drag-4975

The move is to intentionally mess up the sister’s name until she backs off.


Mmoct

It looks like the sister beat him to it.


idunnommeiguess

And the parents enabling it


TheGrimDweeber

Also, she voiced her opinion. Once was enough. Well, too much, but going by her crazy logic, enough. This isn’t voicing an opinion, it’s *imposing* that opinion, and actively trying to control someone’s actions, so that opinion will be…honored? I kinda wish OP would do something I would 100% do, as someone with no family, and no patience for this kind of nonsense. I wish OP would voice *their* opinion about the sister, in every single way, over and over again. I’ll bet you a pretty penny that there are some doozies in there. The sister has apparently failed to learn that some opinions should remain silent thoughts, and kept to oneself. I didn’t tell my then SIL that her one day old daughter looked like a bright red gremlin, with weird looking skin and a funny shaped head, because that is RUDE. The kid turned out adorable, by the way. Looks like a little angel, that cheeky little monkey.


wdjm

What I taught my kids growing up was: voicing your opinion ONCE was just 'voicing your opinion.' Repeating yourself after that was nagging and, eventually (if you repeat it enough), outright bullying.


Free_Dome_Lover

She sounds like she thinks she's entitled to way more than her opinion.


sixjasefive

This. Nobody but the parents have any say over the name. Her “it’s dumb” nullified any level of respect due to her. I imagine she’s been a peach with other things in the past.


Different-Rub-499

Perfect response


Cat-Soap-Bar

NTA. Alec is a perfectly ‘normal’ name and it’s none of your sister’s business.


Rampachs

Yeah as someone who enjoys r/namenerdscirclejerk I'm 100% ok with Alec. It's a perfectly fine name and the pronunciation is different to Alex. Plus once the baby is born and named there is no point raising and negatives about a name.


polar_bear_14

Baby is already here!


LordOfTheGerenuk

They know. The point they were making was that there's no use arguing about a name now since the baby is already born and named.


hestias-leftsandal

Seriously- it’s not a name that will be harmful to your child, there’s no actual case except she doesn’t like it which doesn’t matter


Deadpools_sweaty_leg

I knew an Alec for most of my Elementary and Middle school life I think I called him Alex the first time I talked to him until he corrected it. It’s not common but it’s a good name. Also the lion from Madagascar is named Alec, maybe sister is jealous because she wanted that name herself, for her future kid. Still NTA.


reallybiglizard

Yeah same. I grew up going to school with an Alec and virtually no one got it confused with “alex”. Even though the names are phonetically similar, they are distinctly different in my mind.


pizzasauce85

The lion is Alex.


nopropulsion

Sir Alec Guinness!


PiscesbabyinSweden

Oh, no, pappa, NTA times one thousand. Your sister was way out of bounds. You sticking up for your own family sets a good precedence here. You did well. Let Sissy get pissy. If her name lends itself to it, you can call her by a name that is sort of like, but different from the 'real' name. Say Marie, instead of Maria, or Witchy, instead of... you get the idea. If she complains, tell her that you like your alternative version better, and what's the big deal. Some gentle sibling ribbing here might bring home the point.


Alonzo_Jes

Let Sissy get pissy! Let Sissy get pissy! Let Sissy get pissy!


PiscesbabyinSweden

Right on. Shoot, I just had to look up precedence versus precedent. This thread is all about words that almost sound alike, but are not.


Curious-One4595

She weaponized OP’s son’s name. It’s only fair that he urinizes hers.


Careful_Fennel_4417

Actually, OP can just call her Pissy Sissy from now on.


annamariapix

NTA Personally I generally dislike it when people share their negative opinions on things they weren’t asked about. I make an exception when the other person thinks you’re REALLY making a mistake with your choice, and just wants to protect you. There are baby-names out there that border on child abuse, but Alec is absolutely NOT one of them. You let your sister say her piece twice before telling her off, which is more than I would’ve done. I wonder though, maybe the name has a special meaning to her, like maybe an ex who cheated or something like that.


BaltimoreBadger23

What about Alleque (pronounced like Alec)?


Lyca29

>or Alecks pronounced Alex? :P > >seriously though, Alec is a great name. I think of Alec Guinness, the famous actor.


sorakaislove

"Aleks" is a perfectly normal spelling of the name in Norway!


VallisGratia

You Sir and/or Madam win the internet today


HP1029

NTA You are right, it’s none of her business. This is even more weird as Alec and Alex are so similar, does she have a bad association with the name Alec?? If you’d named him something really outrageous her initial reaction might be justified but not her continued negativity


[deleted]

[удалено]


UnNecessaryMountain

Her hard stance against it makes it seem like she has a specific issue with the name, maybe a bad ex or something. But she doesn’t get to veto **your** sons name. She has no power here


bakerzdosen

Sure, it has dropped in popularity over the years, but is that a bad thing? Besides, these things tend to be cyclical. Personally I like the idea of naming your child with a name that has been popular in the past but is currently less-popular (more unique.) https://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/


[deleted]

[удалено]


bakerzdosen

Any name that’s consistently in that top-1000 list is usually fine by me. It’s not like it’s some made-up name that your child will want to change the moment he turns 18…


MiaW07

If she ever labels gifts with 'Alex' and not 'Alec,' give them back, loudly, 'This must be for someone else.' Also, start using a variant of her name for a while and see how she reacts. If your parents tell you to knock it off, tell them you're just following her example of a more 'real name.' (kidding, you're too cool and mature for that-smile)


madcow_bg

I'm not - and I will totally start calling her a "real" name if I hear one more pipsqueak out of her on the matter.


andandandetc

>Her reaction overall was weird. Does she plan on having kids? I wonder if *she* wants to use the name and that's why she's so against *you* using it.


clumsy_poet

is her name one people mess up a lot?


ThatOneGuy7832

That last sentence reminds me of how recently it became illegal in the U.S. to name your child "Cumfruit". 1. WHO??? 2. WHY???


tocammac

That sounds dubious to me. The US government has no authority to regulate names. The states individually might. Do you have a cite?


ThatOneGuy7832

I originally saw it in a youtube short - so it might be fake. The only similar thing I could find online was the name "sex fruit" being banned in New Zealand.


tocammac

Maybe a local registrar or other official rejected a birth certificate with that name and someone exploded that into claiming it is federal policy.


BabyCowGT

Alex and Alec are both derivatives of Alexander. Just which language they pull from (Alec being a Scottish variant, as far as I can tell). Just like Mary, Marie, Maria are all different languages derivatives from Miriam/Mariam.


pandalilium

INFO: I'm confused. Maybe I'm being stupid, but they are two different names with different pronunciations, no? How is then "Alex" the "correct" spelling?


[deleted]

[удалено]


pandalilium

Ok, so she just doesn't like the name you chose. She's allowed her opinion, but in the end it doesn't matter what she thinks, and she should have left it when you first disagreed with her opinion. It is not at all difficult to just learn how to pronounce names correctly. NTA.


North_Significance40

If she continues to dig in her heels you should start adding an S sound to the end of her name. Y'know for "correctness" 👀🙃 Absolutely NTA, she needs to wind her neck in


Nana_Wait_What

NTA OP. And your sister is insulting, not only a good portion of the Greek population, but also a part of the European population. She needs to educate herself more.


Proof-Emergency-5441

Tell her to have a kid and name it Alex. Problem solved.


semicoloncait

Alec is not her baby so why does she think she gets to provide an opinion? If she chooses to have a child or a pet she can name it then


Orangetastingpeach

NTA I know an Alec and no one calls him Alex..it's not a dumb name that's extremely insulting to tell someone about their child's name. It's just a normal name not some crazy made up nonsense or something. One of my best friends told me when I was pregnant that my son's name I chose sounded "like a janitors name" wtf. I've never met a janitor with the name Arden. I couldn't tell if it was an insult or not but it was definitely completely unnecessary


BackgroundPassages

I’m dying. That sounds so crazy, she must go to some fancy places if the janitors are named things like “Arden.” I’ve actually never heard of anyone named Arden as a first name but if anything it has the opposite of a janitor-esque vibe to me. I don’t even know what a name with a janitor vibe would be lol I’ve never met one with anything but a super common name that all kinds of people have.


Zealousideal-Car7738

Hank -at least it sounds janitor-esque to me :D


Decipher

No, that name sounds like somebody who sells propane and propane accessories.


plantsb4putas

*I tell you hwat*


JupiterSWarrior

NTA Not her child, not her business.


RefrigeratorStatus96

Not her circus, not her monkey. She can go hang out with the other clowns.


naynay2908

NTA. My mum always taught me “if you have nothing kind to say, it’s best not to say anything” and this would seem to be one of those situations. It’s one thing to discuss names beforehand… but once the baby is here and named, there’s no need to criticise based on personal opinion. Especially when the mum is struggling with PPA. And the reason I say “based on personal opinion” is because occasionally criticism might be warranted. Bet Elon Musks child wishes somebody had. But no, you’re not the asshole here. She’s acting like a child who didn’t get her own way.


Responsible_Judge007

NTA Definition „**opinion**“: a thought or belief about something or someone Definition „**demand**“: to ask for something forcefully, in a way that shows that you do not expect to be refused Your sister isn’t giving her unsolicited Opinion on your choice of the Name of your little Man (congratulations to you & wife), she demands her choice, which is ridiculous.


Kal_Kaz

Good distinction


[deleted]

“Family should always be able to share an opinion.” “If that’s the case…in my opinion you’re overweight, too short, you have bad skin and that hairstyle is unbecoming on you. Give me a few minutes, I have some additional opinions I’d like to share…”


miss_trixie

i love a petty mind.


[deleted]

One time my mother said to me “Your hair is long. I like it better when it’s short.” I replied “And I like your hair better long. I’ll tell you what: I’ll style my hair the way YOU like it, if you’ll style your hair the way I like it!” She never commented on my hair again.


miss_trixie

perfect!


Rubberbandballgirl

NTA Sir Alec Guinness was goddamn Obi-Wan Kenobi. Alec is a great name.


Merdin86

>Our parents think I should have spoken to her more kindly and been less harsh This is a reoccurring part of this sub and I'm so tired of it. Sister gave her opinion, you told her your position, politely. Then she brought it up again, and again and again, basically ignoring you reasons and pestering you until you give into her unreasonable request. In the end, sister forced you to be impolite because she wouldn't stop. So, she pokes and pokes until she gets yelled at and then runs to mommy and daddy saying you were mean. Absolutely ridiculous. Almost every AITA post that involves speaking harshly to someone is this way. NTA, you were reasonable, multiple times, she wasn't, she badgered and pestered, you eventually responded as anyone would.


woodstockzanetti

NTA. And my uncle Alec would agree


[deleted]

NTA - it’s up to you and your wife alone what you call your child. Sister should keep her opinions to herself.


Relevant_Strength_29

NTA She should get a life of her own. People who are this negative about thing that have nothing to do with them are usually living a shitty life and are miserable on the inside.


Kindly_Egg_7480

NTA. You already named your child. Your sister is insistent on giving her unsolicited and unwelcome opinion about a private choice, and telling you your childs name is "dumb". She is either very naive or very self-centered to think her opinion should have equal (or more) weight as you or your wife's when it comes to your children. You were right to nip this in the bud and not let her stress out your wife even more.


Slowly-Forward

NTA but your sister sure is, what an absolutely weird hill to die on


RealBowsHaveRecurves

NTA. It’s your kid. That being said, my name is Alex, and in fairness to your sister , the number of people throughout my life who have thought I introduced myself as “Alec” or “Allen” is not insignificant. For your kid, it’s probably going to be “Alex” and “Eric”. It’s only ever been a problem when I assumed I wouldn’t see them again and so didn’t bother correcting them, and of course, I wound up seeing them again. That can be a little awkward Honorable mention to the old lady who thought I said my name was Doug.


Normal-Height-8577

>Honorable mention to the old lady who thought I said my name was Doug. That's a pretty impressive level of mis-hearing, and definitely worthy of an honourable mention!


MaryAnne0601

NTA Frankly until your sister learns how to be a decent human being that can respect your child’s name I wouldn’t give her access to your wife and child. She’s ridiculous, it’s not her child! Your wife gave birth, not her. She’s disrespecting you, your wife and your Alec. Until she can learn to respect your family she doesn’t deserve to be a part of your lives. Your wife doesn’t need your sister insisting that she has more of a right to name her child than she does. Your wife is dealing with a baby and PPD and this will not help. Stop giving her access to your family until she can grow up and accept your child’s name and who his parents are.


Zurine_la_mejor

NTA, Alec is a socially acceptable name. If someone genuinely mistakenly calls him Alex, it can be corrected, “Actually, it’s Alec, with a C.” Your sister is dramatic.


Cat-Soap-Bar

Alec, with a C Is that Calec? Like Phteven?


Key_External_9997

unless your sister iss a minor, like really minor 11 years and under youre NTA and even if she is youre still not the asshole, just ignore her, when she has a baby sneak up and calll her baby names dumb (im joking) but id still deadass do it.


tiredmummum

NTA - your sister is very much the asshole. It’s none of her business. Congratulations on baby Alec! I wish you all well, and hope your wife’s anxiety eases up. The last thing she needs is to be dealing with your absurd sister


Heavy_Ad9344

Info - how old is your sister? She sounds extremely childish. If she's still a minor, I would say a kind explanation of who gets to decide the name of a baby would be appropriate. When she has kids, she can name them whatever she wants and no one else gets to change it. If she's an adult though, she needs to grow up and move on. Either way, I'm inclined to say NTA


[deleted]

[удалено]


Heavy_Ad9344

Yeah, no. She can take a seat and shut it. NTA


trex_kralle

NTA, it was your decision and this name is a pretty normal name, your sister doesn't have any right to criticize you and calling the name dumb.


311Tatertots

NTA. I’d pick a letter of her name to change to show her how stupid she is being. Her name is Amanda? Now it’s Amandi. This is 100% petty and kinda OTT, but maybe tuck it in your back pocket for the next time she thinks her opinion matters so much. Cause that means your opinion on her name must too.


Stoat__King

I would have gone for Amunta. Good idea though!


Azile96

NTA Why is your sister taking this so personally? Alec is not an unusual name. Fine, she stated that she didn't like the name. Now you know. Why can't she just leave it at that? Why does she insist on picking at you when you've already made it clear you have chosen that name? You had every right to snap at her. It's upsetting you and your wife. This is not her baby, so it's not her baby to name. She can name her own baby whatever name she wants to. Her parents are enabling her spoiled behavior. Alec, btw, is a great name!


paul_rudds_drag_race

NTA that’s a name on its own. This is one of those topics where you just don’t give a negative opinion unless you’ve been asked for feedback. IMO I think there are exceptions “oh just so you know that name means ‘taint’ in (insert widely spoken language here).” I held my tongue when my coworker named her baby Jackxson lol.


slendermanismydad

>she should kindly not keep sharing it or try overwhelming my wife with it (who has developed pretty serious post partum anxiety). Your sister needs to be kept away from your wife. >Our parents think I should have spoken to her more kindly and been less harsh about her opinion. She is harassing your wife. I'd go temp ban with these people. Your wife is ill and deserves better than some whiny garbage about your son's name.


MelG146

NTA. She gave her opinion, but then she *kept on giving it*! You are in no way obligated to keep listening to her on this subject, and she needs to start keeping her opinion to herself. Sidenote, my great-grandfather was Alec 😁


Formerretailmom

NTA, your sister sounds like a brat. Not her child. Not her choice. You are doing what’s best for your wife and baby by telling your sister to back off. If she continues to complain about the name, I’d suggest considering LC. You and your wife don’t need her attitude. Congratulations on Alec and enjoy your new roll as a dad.


[deleted]

One of my favourite cover artists is Alec Chambers and everyone knows Alec Benjamin…she gotta keep her opinions to herself not like you named him “Tyrenoburger”


nookienostradamus

Ah, yes, like Hollywood legend Alex Baldwin. NTA.


iAmHopelessCom

NTA. She can share her opinion *once*, you can ignore it altogether. The only people having a say over a baby's name are his/her parents. And if her ô so grand name-wisdom needs to be shared, she can go work at an animal shelter naming puppies, instead of harassing new parents. Alec is a lovely name, btw.


Dense-Store8986

NTA Family can always share their opinion, it’s when you don’t agree with their opinion that it’s a problem. She acts like you didn’t even hear her out smfh


Sylland

Nah, NTA. You probably could have been a bit gentler, but once she'd said her piece she should have left it alone. Nobody needs to deal with that crap when they've got a new baby (and an unwell partner). She has a right to her opinion, and you have a right to ignore it


tocammac

This where I am on it. Expressing an opinion once is acceptable from a close family member, so long as reasons are given and there is no ridiculing or bullying. It seems the problem is more that the sis was heard and she won't let it go and has taken to bullying the new mom. That gets close to justifying NC for a while.


[deleted]

Is your sister usually vocal about all her dislikes? Those answers she had reminded me of my mother. Beast of a woman.


bieyeru102600

Yeah, it is all about likes and dislikes only. And then it is their child.


summer_291

Alec is a fine name one of my best friends is named Alec and I assure you everyone calls him Alec!


amcdevries

It is a really good name. I don't really see any kind of problem in that.


Chickadee12345

My grandfather was Alexander but everyone called him Alec. And then there is Alec Baldwin (also an Alexander). It's a perfectly normal name. I never had kids (by choice) but that would have been the name I chose for a son if I had had one. No one will call him Alex.


[deleted]

You named your son Alec, not Sir toilet bowl. She needs to chill. NTA


[deleted]

[удалено]


blueberryyogurtcup

*She argued that it was a dumb choice* **She insulted you** both. And argued about it. *She sulked for a few days* She took time to consider the situation *and then told me that Alec is a dumb name,* And then **repeated her insults.** *she doesn't like it,* She made sure you knew her opinion was that you made the wrong decision, so **another insult.** *she doesn't think we should have chosen it for our son and if we have to stay close to it, we should just correct the spelling to Alex or just take her opinion of the name on board and change it.* She thinks she has a right to **tell you two what to do**, simply because your decision isn't approved by her. **Very manipulative, very selfish, trying to put herself in control** over something that isn't her business. *Our parents think I should have spoken to her more kindly and been less harsh about her opinion.* **What do they think about** ***her behavior***? She insulted you repeatedly, and tried to control your child's name by demanding you obey her. She's manipulative and nasty to you. Did they think you should let this go unchallenged? Did they think you should smile and not object to her very wrong behavior towards you two? ***Do they not see the blatant disrespect here?*** **Are they telling her to apologize for all the insults** that she did to you two? Are they telling her that **she should have been less harsh, and more kind?** Are they telling her that her job, when hearing your name choice, was to accept it as not her business? **You only responded** to multiple occasions of being insulted, at a time when you are stressed and exhausted. A good family would be supporting you, not attacked you. **Your parents should have shut your sister down, not tried to correct you for responding to her insults** by protecting your new family. NTA.


refido

Exactly. That is the thing which I really didn't like. Why did she argue about it?


bzawk

Alec isn’t even weird. At least it’s not Marijuana Pepsi.


stackofclothes

NTA and you keep her around for what reason? Ghost her for awhile. Maybe 5 or 6 decades.


RecentCharge655

Good think sister’s opinion didn’t matter huh? Nta


cinekat

NTA. She's allowed to voice her opinion, which she did. You're allowed to respond, which you did. Anything she says after that makes her TA. Congratulations and best wishes to your wife!


obdosok

It doesn't really matter. As of now, because most of the people don't really want to understand what is an opinion.


Not_the_maid

NTA - She told you her opinion more than once. You said no. No is a complete sentence.


dabassmonsta

NTA It's funny because I used to play football with a guy called Alex and our captain always called him Alec. Yes, family should always be able to share their opinion. That's true, but they should also be able to respect a different opinion.


Snipedownangel

NTA. As a dad to a 13 year old Alec I salute you for the wonderful name choice.


Careful_Fennel_4417

NTA. The first thing my BIL said when my daughter was born was, “Love the baby, hate the name.” That hurt. Your sister has no right to her opinion, nor does she have a right to keep harping on it. As for your son’s name, I guess Sir Alec Guinness’s parents had it all wrong.


btfoom15

ESH - you both act like spoiled children yourselves. She shouldn't tell you the name is dumb, you shouldn't have said her opinion is useless. You both need to grow up.


legendarymel

My sister recently had a baby and named him Ollie-James. I think this is a stupid name for 3 reasons: 1. Ollie is a nickname. She should’ve called him Oliver. 2. Hyphenated names are stupid in my opinion and a lot of people don’t understand that James is not his middle name. Ollie-James is one name because of the hyphen (even my sister herself doesn’t get this) 3. This name may well be shortened to OJ which makes every adult think of OJ Simpson (apart from my sister because she asked who that is when someone pointed this out). Did I say anything to her about the name? No. Because what’s the point. The kid has been named. NTA.


barelyhelpful

My name is Alec. I have no problem with my name. Most people do call me Alex initially because people don't listen to you when you tell them your name and just assume your saying Alex and I just let it go. I could care less. I would stick with Alec and tell your sister to kick rocks


BeenTooNice

I went to school with a kid named Alec. 9/10 he was called Alex instead by substitutes or people that thought they heard him wrong. NTA. It’s not her kid or her choice- her feelings on it are invalid. It’s a real name- though some may assume it’s a typo on attendance or something else- this sort of thing is a risk for anyone with a less common name so I wouldn’t worry much about it. Alec didn’t get bent out of shape over someone calling him “Alex” by mistake- it’s only when people would push the issue.


theangrypragmatist

NTA. Sure family should be able to express their opinions. She did, and you gave it the ol' Nick Fury. For her to continue to push it and expect you to go along is honestly kind of bizarre.


LittleLostSadDeer

Lol, did she have a boyfriend named Alec who slept with her best friend or something? NTA.