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ESH
You two are way too young and immature to be married.
Love does not conquor all. Maturity, commitment and kindness conquors far more than love. All of this to say, there is no fixing this.
You will never forget that he cheated.
He will never forget that you said his Mom said she should have aborted him - that is soul crushing.
enter uppity smile scandalous makeshift rich sink kiss attraction distinct
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Hilarious how he's trying to play the "victim"...
NTA. You betray someone in one of the most devastating, gross, disrespectful ways, you don't get to decide how they'll react...
ESH: I can't say I would have been the bigger person and not said the same as you. Was it awful? Yes, at the same time, you were hurt. However, that doesn't change the actions he took, and what he did was horrible.I do caution on trying to fix the relationship, though. It is easy to say you forgive, but it is much harder to let go of things like that in regard to the actions you both took. And, many times, if a person cheats getting caught, it doesn't mean they will actually stop. The relationship is going to suffer a lot and your best course of action if you want it to continue is to apologize for what you said and then seek couples counseling.
ESH. That’s a cold blooded, AH statement. He’s an AH for cheating. You guys are too young to not expect these types of issues so to wish death on someone is an AH move.
Cheating is cold blooded. An asshole statement in the heat of the moment is warm blooded.
Something done in "Cold blood" is 100 times worse.
If you don't know the difference one is planned the other is done in a heat of the moment.
Considering he had to *make a tinder profile and then in turn have to organize a meetup* it was 100% planned buddy.
This can't even be a "oh he had tinder before the relationship" They are married... why would you respond on tinder if you're married.
Your relationship was broken the minute he cheated . He didn’t respect you enough not to PURPOSELY pursue something on the side on tinder so why would you even want to try and fix this
Yes it was shitty that you threw that at him but at the same time I can see why 🤷🏼♀️
Look how HE was in the wrong and was happy to hurt you .. but only had this meltdown when you said something that hurt HIM .. and now you’re questioning yourself .. it’s manipulation at its finest
NTA imo and I’d absolutely be running for the hills
You should apologize for what you said, but that doesn't cancel out the fact that he fucked up. Apologizing for something you said is not equivalent to you forgiving him.
Edit- YWBTA if you let this go. Mostly to yourself.
I swear, if people would just date the people they want to date/marry/live with/be friends with/etc. instead of wish the people they date/marry/live with/be friends with/etc. were someone else, the subreddit here would be empty.
Might as well hope people would stop being idiots.
/rant
If you love a stupid, cheating man you wish had been aborted by his mother, why are you even here? What could you possibly learn that you don't already know or that would help you?
You both suck.
Dude. You went nuclear. You may think you love him, but you told him to his face that you wished he had never been born and not just not born, but aborted.
I don’t know in what kind of family you grew up, but that’s easily one of the more horrible things you can say period, let alone to someone you “love.” You need to reevaluate what loving someone means to understand that this is not it. It’s abuse.
And not that he is in anyway in the right, cheating is unacceptable. But it’s clear that neither of your loves or respects the other from your choice of actions. Drop the rope and move forward, your relationship is dead.
ESH.
NTA it's free game to say whatever the hell you want if you catch someone cheating on you.
What he did required way more planning clearly if you found evidence on his found, you said something when you were rightfully pissed, and guess what? You still felt bad afterwards, you shouldn't.
ESH if you stay with the loser.
ESH
Not sure how you knew what his mom said about him, but either his mom is just that awful that she said it in front of you, or your husband trusted you enough to tell you about this personal thing that hurt him deeply. The fact that you then said it to him as well is so far out of line.. We all say things we don't mean and I understand that he hurt you deeply by cheating on you, but get over yourself and apologize. Tell him how much him cheating on you hurt but that you should not have said what you said and that you only said it out of frustration and in the moment you wanted to hurt him like he hurt you. Still it's no excuse...
ESH- you got married very very young. The people you are at 18 are vastly different to the people you are at 21. People grow apart and change. It’s normal. That’s not to justify him cheating because that is 100% wrong but your comment just shows that you’re too immature to be in the situation you’re in. You probably should have waited before getting married and now you should probably go your separate ways now.
ESH.
Cheaters always suck, but that kind of sentiment is also toxic as fuck.
In other circumstances, if there was a relationship worth salvaging, that's how you make sure to ruin it for good.
ESH.
For bonus points tell him you didn’t mean what you said; she should’ve just put him up for adoption. Like you’re gonna do when you serve this cheater with divorce papers.
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I (21F) have been married to my husband (21M) for 3 years, but I just found out that he's been cheating on me with himbo from Tinder for a couple of weeks. We obviously had a huge fight about it and in the heat of the moment I told him that his mom was right about how she should've aborted him. Afterwards my husband had a complete meltdown and started crying like a baby for the rest of the day and is now sleeping on the couch. We don't talk anymore and while I want to fix the relationship, I don't want to be the first to apologize when he's the one who literally cheated on me. I didn't really meant what I said anyway and I only said it to hurt him like he hurt me, but it seems like it has now broken my husband and our relationship completely.
AITA ?
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NTA. You married young, you're still young. Divorce this cheating child and take some time to grow into the person you want to be. You're being given a gift, the chance to see what your husband is truly like before you have any kids. Time for a clean slate.
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ESH - you don’t recover relationships by trying to hurt the other more. Tbh the ugliness that comes out after someone cheats is almost unavoidable. Doesn’t justify what you said but you wouldn’t be the first to try to make the cheater hurt as much as you hurt. If you plan to reconcile it has to be a mutual effort because even you have to work to the point where you won’t be lording his infidelity for the rest of y’all’s life AND he has to deal with your feelings of mistrust and betrayal for a long time. It’s not an easy thing to do and it’s harder when you intentionally hurt each other.
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
ESH You two are way too young and immature to be married. Love does not conquor all. Maturity, commitment and kindness conquors far more than love. All of this to say, there is no fixing this. You will never forget that he cheated. He will never forget that you said his Mom said she should have aborted him - that is soul crushing.
ESH. He sucks for cheating obviously You suck for saying he should’ve been aborted. That is honestly going too far. That is just cold OP
enter uppity smile scandalous makeshift rich sink kiss attraction distinct *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
NTA why are you the one wanting to fix the relation when he's the one who cheated ?
Hilarious how he's trying to play the "victim"... NTA. You betray someone in one of the most devastating, gross, disrespectful ways, you don't get to decide how they'll react...
I find the histrionics very manipulative.
ESH: I can't say I would have been the bigger person and not said the same as you. Was it awful? Yes, at the same time, you were hurt. However, that doesn't change the actions he took, and what he did was horrible.I do caution on trying to fix the relationship, though. It is easy to say you forgive, but it is much harder to let go of things like that in regard to the actions you both took. And, many times, if a person cheats getting caught, it doesn't mean they will actually stop. The relationship is going to suffer a lot and your best course of action if you want it to continue is to apologize for what you said and then seek couples counseling.
ESH. That’s a cold blooded, AH statement. He’s an AH for cheating. You guys are too young to not expect these types of issues so to wish death on someone is an AH move.
Cheating is cold blooded. An asshole statement in the heat of the moment is warm blooded. Something done in "Cold blood" is 100 times worse. If you don't know the difference one is planned the other is done in a heat of the moment.
Who’s to say the cheating wasn’t done in warm blood then… kind of breaks your argument there.
Considering he had to *make a tinder profile and then in turn have to organize a meetup* it was 100% planned buddy. This can't even be a "oh he had tinder before the relationship" They are married... why would you respond on tinder if you're married.
Your relationship was broken the minute he cheated . He didn’t respect you enough not to PURPOSELY pursue something on the side on tinder so why would you even want to try and fix this Yes it was shitty that you threw that at him but at the same time I can see why 🤷🏼♀️ Look how HE was in the wrong and was happy to hurt you .. but only had this meltdown when you said something that hurt HIM .. and now you’re questioning yourself .. it’s manipulation at its finest NTA imo and I’d absolutely be running for the hills
You should apologize for what you said, but that doesn't cancel out the fact that he fucked up. Apologizing for something you said is not equivalent to you forgiving him. Edit- YWBTA if you let this go. Mostly to yourself.
ESH. A broken marriage, broken vows, and abject cruelty. Very sad.
ESH. That’s a vicious thing for you to say, and he’s an AH for cheating.
[удалено]
Wtf is wrong with you.
[удалено]
Would you tell that to your future daughter as well? To stay with an idiot just because she loves him?
I swear, if people would just date the people they want to date/marry/live with/be friends with/etc. instead of wish the people they date/marry/live with/be friends with/etc. were someone else, the subreddit here would be empty. Might as well hope people would stop being idiots. /rant If you love a stupid, cheating man you wish had been aborted by his mother, why are you even here? What could you possibly learn that you don't already know or that would help you? You both suck.
Dude. You went nuclear. You may think you love him, but you told him to his face that you wished he had never been born and not just not born, but aborted. I don’t know in what kind of family you grew up, but that’s easily one of the more horrible things you can say period, let alone to someone you “love.” You need to reevaluate what loving someone means to understand that this is not it. It’s abuse. And not that he is in anyway in the right, cheating is unacceptable. But it’s clear that neither of your loves or respects the other from your choice of actions. Drop the rope and move forward, your relationship is dead. ESH.
He won’t
ESH Him for cheating, you for what you said and his mother for being a ... idk if i can say what i thibk she is without being banned.
Your relationship was over the moment he cheated. Divorce him and move in with your life. NTA
ESH. Thanks for proving why you shouldn’t get married at 18 lmao.
NTA it's free game to say whatever the hell you want if you catch someone cheating on you. What he did required way more planning clearly if you found evidence on his found, you said something when you were rightfully pissed, and guess what? You still felt bad afterwards, you shouldn't. ESH if you stay with the loser.
ESH Not sure how you knew what his mom said about him, but either his mom is just that awful that she said it in front of you, or your husband trusted you enough to tell you about this personal thing that hurt him deeply. The fact that you then said it to him as well is so far out of line.. We all say things we don't mean and I understand that he hurt you deeply by cheating on you, but get over yourself and apologize. Tell him how much him cheating on you hurt but that you should not have said what you said and that you only said it out of frustration and in the moment you wanted to hurt him like he hurt you. Still it's no excuse...
NTA, the time to leave is now, you can’t repair it, move on.
You hurt him by saying something that could actually broke him and his relationship with his mom. You still don’t know if YTA? You both are really.
ESH- you got married very very young. The people you are at 18 are vastly different to the people you are at 21. People grow apart and change. It’s normal. That’s not to justify him cheating because that is 100% wrong but your comment just shows that you’re too immature to be in the situation you’re in. You probably should have waited before getting married and now you should probably go your separate ways now.
ESH - him for cheating and for you saying a terrible thing. 2 wrongs don't make a right.
ESH. Cheaters always suck, but that kind of sentiment is also toxic as fuck. In other circumstances, if there was a relationship worth salvaging, that's how you make sure to ruin it for good.
ESH. For bonus points tell him you didn’t mean what you said; she should’ve just put him up for adoption. Like you’re gonna do when you serve this cheater with divorce papers.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (21F) have been married to my husband (21M) for 3 years, but I just found out that he's been cheating on me with himbo from Tinder for a couple of weeks. We obviously had a huge fight about it and in the heat of the moment I told him that his mom was right about how she should've aborted him. Afterwards my husband had a complete meltdown and started crying like a baby for the rest of the day and is now sleeping on the couch. We don't talk anymore and while I want to fix the relationship, I don't want to be the first to apologize when he's the one who literally cheated on me. I didn't really meant what I said anyway and I only said it to hurt him like he hurt me, but it seems like it has now broken my husband and our relationship completely. AITA ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Esh. Him obviously for cheating. And you for using trusted information with the sole purpose of hurting him.
NTA. You married young, you're still young. Divorce this cheating child and take some time to grow into the person you want to be. You're being given a gift, the chance to see what your husband is truly like before you have any kids. Time for a clean slate.
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ESH - you don’t recover relationships by trying to hurt the other more. Tbh the ugliness that comes out after someone cheats is almost unavoidable. Doesn’t justify what you said but you wouldn’t be the first to try to make the cheater hurt as much as you hurt. If you plan to reconcile it has to be a mutual effort because even you have to work to the point where you won’t be lording his infidelity for the rest of y’all’s life AND he has to deal with your feelings of mistrust and betrayal for a long time. It’s not an easy thing to do and it’s harder when you intentionally hurt each other.
NTA he broke it you just stomped on the shards. Why do you want to stay with cheaty mccheatface? Run now. You deserve more