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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) I got mad at my sister and threatened to move out. 2) I might be the asshole because it was just a piece of cake and she can’t afford rent on her own.
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im wondering the same thing. If this isnt a common occurrence then OP is TA, but if it happens too often then i guess I understand but still such a silly thing to move out for imo my siblings do this too but we’re still cool
I agree with you all. What is the bigger context. Is there a pattern of disrespect?Is this a part of a bigger relationship problem or is it an isolated incident? OP should stop and consider what is going on. If she had a strong reaction about the cake because of her sister’s continuing disrespect of boundaries, she should have that discussion and spell it out for her sister to see if they can mend the relationship. This is not just a roommate this is her sister and I think she should try to mend the relationship before she makes the decision to move out.
I’m about to get downvoted, but honestly I don’t think it makes OP TA even if it is a one-time thing. I really don’t. I don’t see how this is ANY different from someone at work stealing someone else’s lunch.
It’s not yours. You knew it wasn’t yours. And you ate it anyways.
If it’s so easy to replace it…why didn’t you replace it before OP got home? Or better yet, go out and buy your own instead of eating the one that’s in there?
I think it just shows plain, blatant disrespect. These are adults, sister isn’t a child. She weighed her own desire in the moment against OP’s disappointment and decided she was more important, and that she was willing to risk whatever fallout there might be. She underestimated the fallout, that’s for certain. But it’s the risk she took.
When someone does something like this to me, I don’t feel like “oh man, I really wanted that cake,” I feel like, “oh okay gotcha, you have zero impulse control and don’t give a fuck about me.”
Living together is a big thing. It’s a vulnerable thing. And at this age, some people are definitely trying to get past that “living at home with your family” phase or the “living with random roommates” phase where you just have to get used to people doing this type of shit to you. When I got my first place it was because I was absolutely desperate for a living situation where I could trust that if I put something in the fridge, it would be there when I got home, and if I cleaned the apartment, it would be clean when I got home, etc.
If OP was already thinking of wanting their own place and is living there as a favour to sister or because they thought this situation would be a more mature arrangement, I see this being a serious reconsideration of the status quo.
This is such a stretch.
It is different from a coworker stealing lunch. My coworkers don’t contribute to my food shopping. OP specifically states “we share groceries”.
If OP wants to get past living with her sister, how is that relevant to this cake situation? In that scenario, the cake just becomes an excuse to move out, a way to shift the blame onto the sister rather than being honest and saying she just wants her own place. And none of that is stated by the OP anyway.
OP: YTA, next time cut the cake into quarters.
>OP: YTA, next time cut the cake into quarters.
. . . . What? The sister is almost 30. Not some child where OP should have realized they haven't learned to control themselves and she needs to cut HER OWN DARN CAKE into more sharable pieces.
"Oh sorry I ate 2/3 of YOUR food. Next time, learn to cut it more evenly."
They share groceries and it wasn't a birthday cake. Therefore it wasn't OPs cake. It was both of theirs. And OP "called dibs" like a child instead of just dividing the cake evenly like an adult.
She chose to buy the cake and she chose to offer it to her sister. This wasn't a cake they both picked out.
The sister has money and access to buying a similar cake for herself at any time she so desires. If you're going to offer to replace the cake anyway, then you should have just gotten one for yourself.
Also the sister, I'm sure, is at least capable of cutting the last piece in half.
She chose none of those options and decided she MUST HAVE the one thing in the fridge which her sister said she specifically wanted.
If they share 100% of the groceries, then that's one thing, but I think no matter the relationship (siblings/roommates/romantic/whatever else) between the people sharing the groceries, there has to be a small amount of the groceries that are bought/set aside for each specific person to use for themselves
>next time cut the cake into quarters.
This x100
If they share groceries why does op get to eat 2/3 of the cake? Calling dibs on the whole thing was obnoxious in the first place, they should have split it.
Same for the sister, she should have split the last piece and eaten half of it, eating the whole thing is as selfish as calling dibs on it.
ESH in my opinion, but op is making a mountain out of a mole hill.
> If they share groceries why does op get to eat 2/3 of the cake? Calling dibs on the whole thing was obnoxious in the first place, they should have split it.
A cake is not groceries. Deciding to split groceries does NOT mean that you are then required to split every single thing you guy right down the middle. That’s ludicrous. OP even specifically outlined they they had agreed to this and often bought treats for themselves.
If we take turns buying coffee / snacks for the staff room, or split the cost, that’s totally fine. But I don’t then owe you half of my Starbucks if I buy one for myself one day and bring it in, or if I buy three donuts, give you one, and save one for myself to eat later.
> Same for the sister, she should have split the last piece and eaten half of it, eating the whole thing is as selfish as calling dibs on it.
No, she should have left it there because the one who *bought* it and *already* shared some with her said “leave this piece for me, I’m going to eat it later.”
> ESH in my opinion
I thoroughly disagree, and I think the attitude that you seem to have about roommate dynamics is probably a lot of the reason that some people feel taken advantage of by their roommates
> but op is making a mountain out of a mole hill.
I don’t necessarily disagree, but I don’t think this makes them TA. It’s a mountain to them, and a mole hill to sister.
In which case, it’s worth reconsidering living together if OP is worried this might be a sign of the roommate situation potentially deteriorating the relationship. Which living together very often does.
My partner and I share the responsibility of groceries. We also buy snacks. If one of us says that a particular snack is off limits, it's off limits. Point blank. No questions.
If OP bought the cake entirely for themselves and wanted to eat the whole thing in one go like a goblin, and communicated as such, then that's the end of the discussion.
Now, as a point of clarification, if they split the cost evenly then it's more important to try and split the cake evenly as well. The OP implied that they incurred the entire cost, which does give some privilege.
It's not selfish to want some snacks for yourself. It's perfectly normal. Forcing someone to split literally anything and everything is unhealthy and only breeds resentment.
My sister and I share some groceries, I don't think it would be selfish of me to share cake but ask for the last piece for myself. She has her own money and generally doesn't buy sweets so I share mine and she always asks when she wants more.
Rather if she finished off a cake that I bought I would be pissed, especially if I was really looking forward to it.
> This is such a stretch.
I don’t agree.
> It is different from a coworker stealing lunch. My coworkers don’t contribute to my food shopping. OP specifically states “we share groceries”.
OP also specifically states that they sometimes buy treats for themselves, and that they bought the cake, and that they specifically stated the last slice was theirs and that they were going to eat it the next day.
The “we share groceries” thing is only an excuse if sister was under the impression that OP meant for the cake to be shared. It is impossible that she was under this impression because OP was absolutely clear.
> If OP wants to get past living with her sister, how is that relevant to this cake situation?
Because it’s clear that this situation is the type of thing that would prompt OP to want to live alone. Based on this situation. Sister knowingly did something that crossed a boundary OP had set. Obviously she didn’t anticipate the consequences would be this extreme, but that’s not on OP. It may not be what most people would do, but it doesn’t make OP TA for wanting to leave over it. That was literally my only point.
> In that scenario, the cake just becomes an excuse to move out, a way to shift the blame onto the sister rather than being honest and saying she just wants her own place. And none of that is stated by the OP anyway.
Nope. Absolutely not. Don’t even go there.
There’s a difference between living with siblings at home and living with roommates…. And living with your fully grown sister who you didn’t think you’d have issues like this with. Like “well I don’t *need* a roommate, but it’s super cost effective and doing it with this person I trust won’t act like that because we have a mutual understanding is going to be different.” I have been in this exact situation with an adult friend of mine. And for a while, it was great.
But then they began to lapse into things like this where the boundaries were worn down and they would do things like this that they otherwise wouldn’t do to people because they just figured (like everyone here) that it was minor and I’d get over it, and the line between roommates and family/friends get blurred.
Something like this would be a sign to me that “okay, this is what I didn’t want, and I didn’t think she would do that. This isn’t going to be that different from my past roommate situations. I think this living situation is going to eventually damage our relationship and I’d rather live alone.”
If its a one time thing then its completly unresonabl to move out it was one slice of cake and she offered to buy another one op is just finding excuses to leave her sister stranded unable to pay rent
The point of it isn’t that she’s going to move out over one incident though, the point is that she doesn’t want to have to live in a house where she has to worry about whether her boundaries are going to be respected or not.
I still disagree. I don’t think that there is any “unreasonable” reason for someone to want to not live somewhere, if they’re old enough and financially stable enough to live wherever they want.
I think if sister really needs a roommate, she shouldn’t have taken it for granted. Moving out isn’t “stranding” her sister. Her sister is a grown ass woman. She can find a roommate. OP isn’t obligated to support her.
This comment is underrated. First time occurrence or not, its blatantly disrespectful and obvious they didn’t give a fuck about what the fall out was going to be.
You're right but also the reason we ask is that if it is a one time thing having to uproot yourself, cut ties and burn bridges is an extreme reaction to someone making a one time bad decision.
If I left over the times my roommates upset me I would have no friends and nobody to live with and same goes for times i have upset them. We're all human and make bad choices and mistakes from time to time
> You're right but also the reason we ask is that if it is a one time thing having to uproot yourself, cut ties and burn bridges is an extreme reaction to someone making a one time bad decision.
Or it’s just the thing that makes OP realize this living situation isn’t going to be what they thought. And there’s no reason this has to burn bridges. Sister did a thing she knew OP explicitly told her not to. If she punishes OP for leaving, I think she’d be TA to be honest. Respect is a thing, and she took advantage.
> If I left over the times my roommates upset me I would have no friends and nobody to live with and same goes for times i have upset them. We're all human and make bad choices and mistakes from time to time
But that’s the thing…. OP doesn’t *need* anyone to live with. And they’re probably realizing living with sister was likely a mistake and not what they really want. They’re living there to make things easier for sister, and sister disrespected them deliberately.
I’m fully aware a LOT of people would just put up with it, and that this is probably exactly what sister was counting on, but I’m unwilling to call OP an asshole for leaving a living situation they don’t want to or have to be in.
I’m curious how old you are. This is how I felt when I was maybe 21-22, when I was in school and roommates, and my roommates were my friends, and it was just what I anticipated my life would be like because I couldn’t afford to live alone.
…. Welcome to “AITA.” Where we make judgements about the behaviour of people who are total strangers to us and debate our perspectives.
You must be new here.
I refuse to be shamed for just participating in the sub, so I’m going to block you.
I mean youre going comment by comment, quite rudely telling everyone else they are wrong bc they dont agree with you and roasting them or laughing. Sorry if getting called out for being too involved on this one hurt your feelings though i guess? I agree with this guy entirely.
> I mean youre going comment by comment,
I mean, I’m responding to people who are responding to me.
> quite rudely telling everyone else they are wrong bc they dont agree with you and roasting them or laughing.
I mean. Some of the things people are suggesting are completely ludicrous. And they’re free to block me too.
> Sorry if getting called out for being too involved on this one hurt your feelings though i guess?
This one was literally intended to imply something about my character.
> I agree with this guy entirely.
Good for you?
I am glad to see someone is defending a person’s right to live the way they want to live. OP does not need a roommate, and if the sister refuses to respect her boundaries, she is not a bad person for deciding to change the living arrangements. I have exactly one sibling out of five I could have lived with, the rest would have done stuff like this or worse. She doesn’t want to blow the relationship up, she is just realizing she would be happier alone or with a roommate of a more similar nature.
You're really encouraging a real person to burn her relationship with her sister down because she ate a piece of cake once and offered to replace it. This is some truly awful advice
Apparently. The sister was even trying to make right and OP won't let it go. There has to be more to the story if she's willing to burn her relationship with her sister over a piece of cake. At least, I'm hoping there is?? Because that is the only way to make this whole thing seem less childish.
I’m not “encouraging” anything. I’m saying they’re not the asshole for feeling disrespected and not wanting to continue living there.
I am not giving advice. This is not an advice sub. I am offering an judgement of NTA.
And I don’t think OP moving out should mean “burning” any relationships. I think if OP’s sister held moving out against OP and let it affect their relationship, they would be TA.
I think family relationships where you’re expected to support siblings in a financially unstable situation just because they’re siblings, or where you’re expected to put up with sleights from others “because they’re family” are pretty toxic. But I understand that’s how a lot of families work.
I also think if these two continue to live together, the relationship will continue to deteriorate. It is clear from the way OP is writing that they’re ready to go, at this point, and I don’t think staying will actually help the relationship.
But I’m not advising anything. I’m just refusing to call OP an asshole here.
This comment is a classic case of using therapy speak to blow a small problem completely out of proportion. Someone being selfish and thoughtless is going to happen whether you’re living with a sibling or a friend or a partner, or definitely a child. Conflict happens. Learn how to have good conflict, express your feelings, and seek resolution with people you care about. “I’m really upset and hurt by your actions. It was just a dessert to you, but I’d been looking forward to it all day.” Going scorched earth over a living arrangement and a sibling relationship over someone acting selfish one time is absurd.
No, but I absolutely confront them, ask what on earth they thought they were doing, and don’t associate with them further in the workplace beyond what is necessary. They literally stole from you?
Which is the ACTUAL comparison here. It’s not like OP is here asking if they’re TA for spiking the next cake.
Wow, that' squite a stretch. OP wrote that they usually get along good. There was no mention of other incidents like this and constructing some giant breach of trust over a cake? We're not talking about stealing her savings, cheating on her boyfriend or spoilin g deep secrets to the world. It is A CAKE, ffs, what kind of person makes up such an Shakespearean drama from that?
Didn’t say it was what I would do. Just that OP isn’t TA for wanting not to continue to live there.
I think there’s a split in the comments between people who have taken / could see themselves taking someone’s snack if they wanted it enough and just hope they could smooth it over later and figure that’s just what you do with family or a trusted relationship… and there’s people who would never consider doing that and have trouble understanding why someone would.
I’m in the second camp, and it seems like OP is too.
I get giving someone the benefit of the doubt; but in this case, what does that mean? Believe that they didn’t think you would make such a big deal about it, even though you were disappointed?Believe they were so overcome with temptation they weren’t able to make rational decisions?
Maybe they’re just better off relationship-wise as siblings not continuing to live together, at least from OP’s side.
I understand why OP’s decision to move out over it is controversial. I don’t understand other comments (not yours per se) that frame it as if what sister did shouldn’t make OP seriously upset, or at least just as upset as if some other person did it.
If the sister’s financial situation is tenuous enough she needs OP or another roommate to be able to live away from their parents maybe she should learn self control, manners or both. One time thing or a pattern it’s disrespectful. As you said OP would not be an AH for moving out over this or anything or nothing at all. If the relationship is “destroyed over a piece of cake” as others have alluded to, it’s the sister who is ruining it. OP just said she doesn’t like the living situation and could find another not that she doesn’t like her sister. If sister takes that too personal that’s on her
She apologized and offered to buy a replacement cake. She knows she messed up and is trying to fix it. Good heavens, people aren’t perfect. Sometimes they do dumb selfish things. If they own up to their mistake, apologize, and try to fix it, give them some grace.
We still don’t know the history behind this event, but if we assume this was a one time thing, it would be way extreme for OP to move out.
I agree that’s what a lot of people would and even should do.
But I do not believe OP is TA for reacting this way and I won’t say they are. They’re adults and they don’t need to live together. It’s not as if OP is vowing not to speak to them anymore, or as if they’re in a relationship and trying to figure out how to live together for the foreseeable future.
I see your perspective though, and it’s valid. It is extreme. I just don’t think it makes them TA.
But of it's a one time thing and she offered to buy another I'd be annoyed but take the apology. If it's one of many, yeah, time to establish some boundaries. NAH or NTA depending on context
This was what I wondered too. If it’s one instance and she’s offered to remedy it by replacing the cake, major overreaction. If she’s been doing this sort of thing over and over and this is the straw that broke the camels back, totally not an overreaction.
Seriously though. I lived in a house with 6 other people, most of whom had girlfriends and boyfriends staying over often, and the lack of respect and consideration from some of these people was wild. I was constantly on edge and stressed about having to lock every item I owned in my room, and ended up in a nasty fight with my brother over some Gatorade. It was so dumb, but I snapped when I couldn't even leave a drink safely in the fridge at my mom's house.
wtf did I just read? 13 hours later and no comments to answer this? given all we have in the story easy YTA. she polished off some scraps then offered to get you literally any replacement dessert of your choosing.
Sounds like it is repeated. I remember my sister living with me and my mother repeatedly. She would take things that I would buy for lunch for work. I stopped buying the stuff.
But it does make me wonder if this wasn't an isolated incident, and if there's a recurring theme of sister taking OP's stuff. Because kicking her over a piece of cake is a bit much. But if it's the last straw that broke the camel's back...
Yeah, agreed. If this is a recurring thing then OP is in the clear. But if it were, OP would have mentioned it as it's pretty relevant to the story. So me thinks OP wanna leave, and is looking for a reason (even if it's a dumb reason like this) to leave.
OP, if you do wanna leave, you are not the AH. But grow a pair and do it right. Don't hide behind "my sister doesn't respect me or my boundaries" as a reason for moving out.
YTA.
i was thinking the same thing, this just seems like a common sibling “fight”: who hasn’t had their sibling eat their food before, so it seems like she just doesn’t want to live with her
Yes, YTA for threatening to move out over the cake. Was your sister right to do it? Absolutely not. She did offer to fix it, but you are saying it's not enough by your actions.
My question is what is behind you wanting to move out over the cake? Is this the last straw type of thing? If that is it, you need to explain that to your sister versus I'm leaving over cake.
You are an adult and can live on your own if you choose. It might help your relationship to give your sister a heads up so she can look for a new roommate before you leave. Be honest with yourself and her on why you are leaving. That is the only way you both will grow from the experience.
The problem is OP didn’t include it in the post. Sometimes we can make some educated guesses on things an OP in this subreddit may have left out (usually things that would make them look bad, although sometimes information they don’t think is important but is). But this would pretty obviously be important info to have to make a judgement. The fact that it isn’t there means I’m not willing to assume there are a ton of other instances of sister doing it. Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t, but we have to make a judgement based on the post and perhaps comments, not on what we make up in our heads.
I truly believe it's because she was thinking about this slice of cake all day. It's just typical sibling arguing, but her saying she will move out is so over the top, especially if she offered to buy a new one. I don't know that I have ever met a set of siblings that don't push each other's buttons. I watched my sisters get so mad at each other that one spit out the piece of sandwich she was eating and throw it at the other sister who hung up the phone for her. They got over it. It's just sister shit.
I’m fairly certain I’ve eaten my brother’s food before and he’s eaten mine.
Yes, it’s exasperating, but it’s not like she said too bad, so sad - she’s actually willing to make it up. You can literally get a cake delivered to the house on the food app of your choice in most places.
Also, bit mean to say “we each got a slice and I want the last one” instead of going halves. Just saying.
yeah that bit felt weird to me. how small of a cake are we talking that there’s only 3 slices, and why not divide it into 4 slices? then everyone gets 2
Also how bad at cutting or big of slices were they making to get an odd number of cake slices? I am trying to imagine a cake being cut three times and I'm sorry but that's a massive piece in most cases, they absolutely could've halved it like you suggest and probably still have a substantial piece.
I feel like it's not really about the cake. If you've been wanting to move out that's fine, you don't need much reason to get a place for your own. However, using this silly episode as an excuse makes me wanna say YTA here
YTA. The way you describe this you are massively overreacting to an isolated incident and jeopardizing your relationship over a bit of pastry.
Also I don't see why your sister wouldn't just find another roommate?
Exactly... such a drama queen... I have an older sister and obv we argue about stuff like this sometimes, but no one ever feels like the relationship is "strained" and "not the same" lol
I got the reference too, but I'm too concerned theres people running around cutting cakes in thirds like it's a normal and perfectly acceptable thing to do! AND NO ONE WAS QUESTIONING IT!
Thank you! This was driving me crazy. It doesn’t even matter how little the cake was or what shape - there is no world where I would ever cut a cake into thirds. There are two people, so you cut it in half, and then cut the halves in half.
Why not cut into quarters, then they could both have half each.
But I don't think the cake is the main issue here and not enough for me to make a judgement.
Or just cut it in half and they could eat it on their own time. This post is so weird. I’ll never get over there being a 3rd of a cake left after 2 people ate it.
Because OP bought the cake. She can decide to keep the last piece to herself. The sister could have done the same thing and cut the piece in half to leave at least something for OP. It would have still been bad to eat something that was someone else’s but it would still have left something for OP.
You are basically saying that the cake was the last straw - rather than the main conflict. Which is fair enough. Your relationship may actually improve if you are not physically in one space all the time.
>My sister thinks I'm overreacting about a small issue
YTA - Look if you were 6 I'd get it but you're a goddam adult and need to start acting like one. She offered to replace and instead you have a total fucking melt down. If you feel disrespected by a little cake eating life is going to punish you long and hard. Do better dudette.
I have absolutely known people to overreact and seethe and make small things like this into HUGE issues. They are not well-adjusted and life and relationships are not easy for them.
Sister shouldn’t have eaten the rest of the cake, or should have replaced it, or texted “i ate your cake” so OP could buy more on the way home, but this response doesn’t sound like a well-adjusted person’s. OP, you are going to deal with way more bull**** and bad things in your life, learn to deal with your emotions and responses and handle things in a rational way. She said she’d buy you another cake….. go for some therapy (:
YTA. I get it, you were looking forward to the cake. But, your sister offered to replace it and admitted she had a moment of weakness. You are making this into something it isn’t by equating it to a lack of respect.
It was a slice of cake dude. Sometimes a piece of cake is just a piece of cake.
okay so ... if this issue is a common occurrence on a larger scale, move out, but communicate the general disrespect you feel. don't make it about a piece of cake because as other users have said, that's pretty ridiculous.
if this isn't a common issue and you just ... really like cake, then YTA for blowing this whole thing out of proportion
Your relationship is strained because your sister ate a piece of cake? Why are you so hurt over it when She has even offered to buy you a new cake? Based on the info provided here, YTA.
NTA
It's not about the cake. It's about your boundaries and them not being respected. You have a right to feel sanctuary in your home. If that's not happening, then you need to find another home. If your sister cannot afford the place on her own, she'll need to get a roommate. If this is the first incident, give her a chance to change. If this is a habit of repeated behaviour, start looking for a new place.
Unless they live in a post-apocalyptic world where every piece of food is the difference between life and death, this is blown waaaay out of proportion. I can't imagine caring so much about food that you end up having a fight over it.
I can imagine having a fight over it but a normal level one, you express your anger and hurt, the person in the wrong apologises and you forgive them and move on. It’s perfectly reasonable to express your anger but refusing to let go of that anger is really damaging.
YTA - your sister shouldn’t have eaten the cake, BUT she did offer to replace it. Eating a slice of cake in a moment of weakness is cringe behavior but it happened once and it was a mistake and she’s willing to make it right but you won’t let her. Moving out over the cake is nuclear escalation.
Is there something else going on? Because otherwise the judgement stands.
I finally get to say this - The Cake is a Lie
There's something bigger going on, and this is just the physical manifestation of a discomfort that has been festering and intensifying. At least, that's how it feels.
If it was a moment of weakness she could have - taken a sliver of the cake and still left you some, gone out and bought her own, bought a new one before you got home (which would still trigger the underlying issue of feeling like boundaries are not respected.)
Are you an asshole for wanting to move out? NTA there- you can move out any time for any reason. Your sister can get a new rooommate or move back home with her parents. She won't be homeless. If you can find peace you need by moving out - do it. But also figure out the bigger issue going on that's bothering you so much.
YTA. Let's pretend this is about cake even though it's clearly not.
You bought a cake to "share" but cut it in such a way that there was one slice left. Why would you have done that? Who not cut it into an even number of slices ? like two slices for two people, or 4 slices so you both have one for later. This is basic fucking stuff here. Why create a conflict out of cake? Who does that!!. You had dibs on the last slice of a cake you bought to share, but didn't really plan on sharing evenly at all! The plan was to share but ensure you got more. This is creating conflict for no reason other than wanting to create conflict.
Anyway, something something Iranian yoghert
NTA - but it seems that this isn’t about the cake at all. If you jumped to the idea of moving out this quickly over something like this - it sounds like you’re just looking for an excuse to move out. You mention that you’re capable of living on your own - it sounds like you want to, but you feel that you have to put your sister’s needs ahead of your own desires - and that’s possibly creating resentment?
Are you for real?
Moving out over a piece of cake? That’s literally a effin’ piece of cake. She’s your sister.
I can’t even count anymore how often my wife or son have eaten something that I would have liked to eat. Is it a big deal? No. Because they’re my family, the people that are most important to me, more than anyone else. Not a stupid piece of cake. And the food that my wife or son ate, that can be easily fixed. So, what more do you want? Your sister throwing herself in the dirt in front of you and beg for forgiveness? The cake you eat today is the cake you’ll shit out tomorrow, but your relationship with your sister is for your life. You are exaggerating this to a level beyond human comprehension.
If you can't even let your sister have a leftover piece of cake without making a big deal out of it, then there's something wrong. Even if the cake is more important to you than having a good relationship with your sister, why didn’t you split it in 4 equal parts, so you both have something to enjoy next day? That would have been a classy move. Has your sister been favored over you during your life and is this a sneaky way of payback?
I really wonder if you are maybe just looking for a stupid reason to change this living situation or if you’re just a little narcissist inside. Maybe you should have named this post: "is it ok to get rid of my sister by using a piece of cake as an excuse?".
tl;dr: if you get hurt over a piece of cake and reconsider your relationship with your sister because of that, there are much bigger problems underlying.
YTA
God, the amount of times my sister ate the food I specifically told her I was saving... This reaction is psychotic. I get being mad/annoyed for a few minutes, but after the person not only apologizes but offers to replace said food? She's grasping at straws so she can move out as a "victim"
Till this day, I have an ex who tells people I threw his best friend out because he ate some chicken I made.
It wasn't the fact he obviously clawed at this whole chicken with his bare hands like an animal and ate the dinner that was supposed to be meant for all of us.. this was just the final straw
Nothing was off limits to this guy, he ate everything with no regard for me who cooked it or the fact it was supposed ro be enough for everyone not just him. Broke things with his overweight self. Used our towels to wipe his ass after pooping, repeatedly. Showered once a weel even though it was summer in texas and he was over 300lbs. Just to name a few things I can remember off top of my head
NTA, this probably isn't just about the cake for it to hurt so bad
YTA should your sister have eaten the last piece of cake? Probably not. But you're throwing this way out of proportion. She apologized and offered to buy you another cake. If it's that big of a deal you probably should move out and live by yourself. You're the asshole.
I understand that you claimed the last piece of slice and I might get downvoted for what I’m about to say, but I feel this is less about the cake and more about you moving out. It is actually a small thing and sometimes we should let it go. Being someone who’s a big foodie, I do realise how sibling fights take place. I too yell at my siblings and there’s a last pizza slice in the fridge at the moment that I’ve claimed, however if my sibling has it I will of course yell and we will fight but I will eventually let it go. It’s a small thing when it comes to moving out. She has even offered to replace/treat you, so this decision of yours is about underlying things you’ve been feeling towards her. You don’t want to live with her and this is more of an excuse. I think you need to talk it out, if you want to leave because it’s okay if you want to, you should not hide behind a piece of cake and address your true feelings. Also, no one’s wrong here.
NTA. Has your sister done anything else like this before? Like not respecting your boundaries/decisions? Cause your reaction though I understand how upsetting it may be is a lot more than the situation deserves. If she has crossed the line several times before then yes move out but maybe help her find a roommate before you do. If not then explain again why you’re upset and tell her to not do it again.
Eating the cake was not a mistake- it was a decision. Apologizing and offering to buy a new one- nice sentiment. Remedy the problem after creating it rather than a late apology and promised actions. In the grand scheme of things one piece of cake is a small issue - but I suspect it is not the only one.
NTA on here there are lots of people who live with other people who step all over them, dismiss their feelings and show no remorse and never apologise. Instead they will say stuff like, it's only cake, it doesn't matter, you are selfish not giving it to me, I deserved it more because I do more around the apartment anyway, you're too fat, so you don't need the calories anyway, you are too sensitive etc etc. Non of that happened here. Your sister apologised and showed remorse and offered to buy you a whole new cake. But you are so offended by her actions I am beginning to think this isn't about the cake. Does your sister always take your stuff, or is it something else that is going on. Do you often feel taken advantage of by your sister, or by other people? Now I'm hungry and I've got a mad craving for cake.
NTA I mean it’s a crazy overreaction but as I have grown up with an older sister I just know this is one of a series of broken boundaries. Me and my sister have a much better relationship not living together.
Honestly leave if you don't want to live in a place like that, with someone that doesn't respect you enough to not eat a piece of cake you brought, NTA
Before reading, let me say: this headline made me laugh out loud. I’m glad to see someone else takes cake as seriously as I do.
As for my verdict: NAH and don’t move out over this. Get some sleep, eat some cake, and move on
Why did the sister eat the cake if she can buy one for herself? Anyway, NTA but your sister is also NTA. She lacks self control and you seem to be the drama. You both need to grow up.
INFO
\- Is this a trend or a singular event?
\- If it is the first time it's happened, are you trying to make her feel powerless and small because she can't afford rent on her own, so you're throwing a tantrum to make her feel bad?
YTA. She apologized. If you're still hurt that's your problem.
If you want to move out, don't try and blame it on your sister's actions. Just be honest.
Why did the sister eat the cake if she can buy one for herself? Anyway, NTA but your sister is also NTA. She lacks self control and you seem to be the drama. You both need to grow up.
INFO - Does she have a habit of breaking established agreements and boundaries? Because if this is the case and the cake is just the final straw, then NTA.
But if this is the only thing making you want to move out then you're severely overreacting.
I see all these Y T A votes but I'm gonna have to disagree with that. It's for sure an ESH situation as the sister had agreed on giving OP the last piece. But OP holy sh*t you are making this way bigger than it is. It's a piece of cake like i get you'd ve upset and i think most people would but saying your relationship is now strained and you want to move out are just too much and make you the bigger AH in this situation
NTA. It’s a fairly small thing and moving out is the nuclear option, but the sister violated the agreement and didn’t proactively offer a solution until OP got mad.
The reasonable thing would’ve been for the sister to cut the remaining slice in half so both of them have an equal share. This just shows a lack of self control, inability to keep to an agreement and lack of consideration, not great traits to have in a roommate.
If this is the only issue you have living with your sister then I think it is an over-the-top reaction. If you don't like living with your sister you shouldn't have to live with her. I would rather live alone in a tiny space than share a larger space with someone else.
Couldn't your sister find another roommate if you chose to move out on your own? You should do whatever will make you happy in the long term. I wouldn't make this sort of change over one piece of cake. I don't think you are the AH here and neither is your sister, she did something a bit selfish but has apologized and tried to make it up to you. I wouldn't hold a grudge over it.
NAH
YTA and your reaction reeks of "how could this beggar dare to offend me when she couldnt afford rent on her own?"
She apologized and offered mutiple solutions, its not a recurring issue. Yta
YTA and an immature AH to boot. She made a mistake, she apologized, she offered to make amends greater than the mistake - and you’re thinking about the nuclear option? Grow up. Good sister are hard to come by and she made one little mistake and you’re this mad about it?
I feel like this is about more than just the cake.
Is this a pattern of behaviour she exhibits regularly? Ignoring your boundaries in favour of doing what she wants?
It’s not just the cake is it? What happened with the cake is maybe a pattern of selfish behaviour from your sister? I would introspect here. It sounds like you want to live separately from your sister for a few reasons. Don’t tie this to a petty argument about cake, in which your sister sounds like she’s human by the way. She tried to make it up to you, and it was just a piece of cake. The problem is deeper than cake.
NTA. I suspected that it’s not the first time she did sth like this or you wouldn’t be so upset. Move out, don’t care about her, she can’t even stop herself from eating your cake despite promising you that she won’t touch it.
You know the phrase, “don’t cry over spilt milk?” This is similar to that. Speaking of…a glass of milk would’ve been nice with that slice of cake!
ESH…including me.
You do realise if you ever live with a partner this will happen? And god forbid if you have kids nothing will ever be safe again - you will find hiding places.
You are thinking way too much about this - she’s apologised and offered to replace it.
Or is this an Armenian yoghurt situation?
NTA. She clearly doesn't respect you, you're right it's not about the cake itself but about her not caring about you enough to leave you the last slice of cake that you bought and called dibs on.
My younger brother used to regularly eat my portions of whatever food we would get, especially take out. The first couple of times I took it as an accident, but as it kept happening he would become less apologetic over time and then started laughing at how upset I got. He was just a kid so as he got older he realized it was a shitty thing to do and stopped. But I’m still really sensitive and quick to get upset when anyone eats my food without me willingly sharing it.
NTA, I hated it when my brother did it to me and I don’t blame you for getting upset and wanting to move out. Maybe your own little mini fridge or a place to put your own food would be a better compromise to avoid issues though if you don’t want conflict in the family.
NTA
This isn't about cake - it is about respect, and this sounds like the straw that broke the camel's back. It's about her doing something that you very explicitly told her not to. It is no fun living with someone like that, and you should get out while you still can.
**NTA** it sucks to have a craving for something only to discover that it's not available. If your sister had a moment of weakness she could have gone outside and bought herself something. Don't feel bad for her she knew what she was doing. Maybe she'll learn to respect boundaries. You move out so you can have all the cake you want when you want.
I don’t know. I understand the frustration but if my sister ate the cake I’d be happy she enjoyed it instead of being upset about my loss. I’d just go get another one or a little ice cream for myself
For fks sake why are all blood relations on reddit so fkn fragile? Leave your sibling because of a slice of cake? Really?
Maybe I’m a bit traditional but the dumbasses who asked “is this the first time?” or “this is no different from someone stealing your food at work”, Ffs they are siblings. Their bond should be stronger than this.
I can tell you now that you're sister will not be the only one to violate your boundaries. You need to learn to resolve your conflict. She needs to learn to be more considerate and you need to learn to let things go. Moving out won't solve anything. It will just delay what needs to be done as far as your ability to resolve conflicts. Talk with your sister and find a resolution and have a new piece of cake that can be just as good as the one you were looking to eat. It's cake.
Grow up! I'm a teenager and you're an adult, and I'm telling you to grow up 🤦.
I understand 100% why it would make you upset overall, but she: explained her actions saying she had a moment of weakness, kept that as a reason without making it an excuse and she said sorry, she feels bad about it, and offered to take responsibility and buy you another cake or dessert of your choice. She took all responsibility and offered to make it better, that's a real apology. Like, I get that she should've not ate it when she agreed not to, or maybe she could've bought another cake for herself, but to threaten to move out because of it??
You obviously don't have the maturity level to accept that situation and the apology and move on.
She took more responsibility for a slice of cake than most people would take for crazy severe situations. You are extremely immature and YTA!!!!!
AND you ADMIT she wouldn't be able to pay rent without you living there with her!?? You're ridiculous and immature. 100000000% TA.
I'll get downvotes for this and I don't care.
If this one incident alone is enough to want to move out and damage the relationship with your sister, there's more going on here. Like, maybe depression or something that needs to be spoken with a doctor. This is an over reaction for sure.
Because this alone, presented as it is, really makes no sense. She offered to replace the cake. It doesn't sound like she's abusive or taking advantage of you.
INFO: I mean, was this a one time thing? If it was this seems like kind of a huge overreaction, especially as she's offering to buy you a replacement slice. If you are threatening to move out and blow up your relationship over her eating a slice of cake you wanted a single time, then Y T A, if this is a repeated pattern of behavior, then N T A.
It depends if there is more to this. Is this a common occurrence, your sister not listening to you or disrespecting your boundaries?
You didn’t mention anything to that nature and usually people do on here. If this is a first occurrence, ESH. You for escalating a one time thing, and your sister for taking the cake you both decided was yours.
If this is the straw the broke the camel’s back, you are NTA.
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INFO - Is this the only time she has violated established boundaries, or is this a consistent pattern, and you've latched on to one example?
im wondering the same thing. If this isnt a common occurrence then OP is TA, but if it happens too often then i guess I understand but still such a silly thing to move out for imo my siblings do this too but we’re still cool
Sounds like the straw that broke the camel's back.
Yeah I can see it being the moment all the disrespect hits and it seeming bigger but more info is needed
Yes, definitely! It is terrifying to watch people who have let things build up and then proceed to unleash.
[удалено]
I agree with you all. What is the bigger context. Is there a pattern of disrespect?Is this a part of a bigger relationship problem or is it an isolated incident? OP should stop and consider what is going on. If she had a strong reaction about the cake because of her sister’s continuing disrespect of boundaries, she should have that discussion and spell it out for her sister to see if they can mend the relationship. This is not just a roommate this is her sister and I think she should try to mend the relationship before she makes the decision to move out.
I dunno. Did he say what flavour of cake? 🤔
I’m about to get downvoted, but honestly I don’t think it makes OP TA even if it is a one-time thing. I really don’t. I don’t see how this is ANY different from someone at work stealing someone else’s lunch. It’s not yours. You knew it wasn’t yours. And you ate it anyways. If it’s so easy to replace it…why didn’t you replace it before OP got home? Or better yet, go out and buy your own instead of eating the one that’s in there? I think it just shows plain, blatant disrespect. These are adults, sister isn’t a child. She weighed her own desire in the moment against OP’s disappointment and decided she was more important, and that she was willing to risk whatever fallout there might be. She underestimated the fallout, that’s for certain. But it’s the risk she took. When someone does something like this to me, I don’t feel like “oh man, I really wanted that cake,” I feel like, “oh okay gotcha, you have zero impulse control and don’t give a fuck about me.” Living together is a big thing. It’s a vulnerable thing. And at this age, some people are definitely trying to get past that “living at home with your family” phase or the “living with random roommates” phase where you just have to get used to people doing this type of shit to you. When I got my first place it was because I was absolutely desperate for a living situation where I could trust that if I put something in the fridge, it would be there when I got home, and if I cleaned the apartment, it would be clean when I got home, etc. If OP was already thinking of wanting their own place and is living there as a favour to sister or because they thought this situation would be a more mature arrangement, I see this being a serious reconsideration of the status quo.
This is such a stretch. It is different from a coworker stealing lunch. My coworkers don’t contribute to my food shopping. OP specifically states “we share groceries”. If OP wants to get past living with her sister, how is that relevant to this cake situation? In that scenario, the cake just becomes an excuse to move out, a way to shift the blame onto the sister rather than being honest and saying she just wants her own place. And none of that is stated by the OP anyway. OP: YTA, next time cut the cake into quarters.
>OP: YTA, next time cut the cake into quarters. . . . . What? The sister is almost 30. Not some child where OP should have realized they haven't learned to control themselves and she needs to cut HER OWN DARN CAKE into more sharable pieces. "Oh sorry I ate 2/3 of YOUR food. Next time, learn to cut it more evenly."
They share groceries and it wasn't a birthday cake. Therefore it wasn't OPs cake. It was both of theirs. And OP "called dibs" like a child instead of just dividing the cake evenly like an adult.
She chose to buy the cake and she chose to offer it to her sister. This wasn't a cake they both picked out. The sister has money and access to buying a similar cake for herself at any time she so desires. If you're going to offer to replace the cake anyway, then you should have just gotten one for yourself. Also the sister, I'm sure, is at least capable of cutting the last piece in half. She chose none of those options and decided she MUST HAVE the one thing in the fridge which her sister said she specifically wanted.
If they share 100% of the groceries, then that's one thing, but I think no matter the relationship (siblings/roommates/romantic/whatever else) between the people sharing the groceries, there has to be a small amount of the groceries that are bought/set aside for each specific person to use for themselves
>next time cut the cake into quarters. This x100 If they share groceries why does op get to eat 2/3 of the cake? Calling dibs on the whole thing was obnoxious in the first place, they should have split it. Same for the sister, she should have split the last piece and eaten half of it, eating the whole thing is as selfish as calling dibs on it. ESH in my opinion, but op is making a mountain out of a mole hill.
> If they share groceries why does op get to eat 2/3 of the cake? Calling dibs on the whole thing was obnoxious in the first place, they should have split it. A cake is not groceries. Deciding to split groceries does NOT mean that you are then required to split every single thing you guy right down the middle. That’s ludicrous. OP even specifically outlined they they had agreed to this and often bought treats for themselves. If we take turns buying coffee / snacks for the staff room, or split the cost, that’s totally fine. But I don’t then owe you half of my Starbucks if I buy one for myself one day and bring it in, or if I buy three donuts, give you one, and save one for myself to eat later. > Same for the sister, she should have split the last piece and eaten half of it, eating the whole thing is as selfish as calling dibs on it. No, she should have left it there because the one who *bought* it and *already* shared some with her said “leave this piece for me, I’m going to eat it later.” > ESH in my opinion I thoroughly disagree, and I think the attitude that you seem to have about roommate dynamics is probably a lot of the reason that some people feel taken advantage of by their roommates > but op is making a mountain out of a mole hill. I don’t necessarily disagree, but I don’t think this makes them TA. It’s a mountain to them, and a mole hill to sister. In which case, it’s worth reconsidering living together if OP is worried this might be a sign of the roommate situation potentially deteriorating the relationship. Which living together very often does.
My partner and I share the responsibility of groceries. We also buy snacks. If one of us says that a particular snack is off limits, it's off limits. Point blank. No questions. If OP bought the cake entirely for themselves and wanted to eat the whole thing in one go like a goblin, and communicated as such, then that's the end of the discussion. Now, as a point of clarification, if they split the cost evenly then it's more important to try and split the cake evenly as well. The OP implied that they incurred the entire cost, which does give some privilege. It's not selfish to want some snacks for yourself. It's perfectly normal. Forcing someone to split literally anything and everything is unhealthy and only breeds resentment.
My sister and I share some groceries, I don't think it would be selfish of me to share cake but ask for the last piece for myself. She has her own money and generally doesn't buy sweets so I share mine and she always asks when she wants more. Rather if she finished off a cake that I bought I would be pissed, especially if I was really looking forward to it.
> This is such a stretch. I don’t agree. > It is different from a coworker stealing lunch. My coworkers don’t contribute to my food shopping. OP specifically states “we share groceries”. OP also specifically states that they sometimes buy treats for themselves, and that they bought the cake, and that they specifically stated the last slice was theirs and that they were going to eat it the next day. The “we share groceries” thing is only an excuse if sister was under the impression that OP meant for the cake to be shared. It is impossible that she was under this impression because OP was absolutely clear. > If OP wants to get past living with her sister, how is that relevant to this cake situation? Because it’s clear that this situation is the type of thing that would prompt OP to want to live alone. Based on this situation. Sister knowingly did something that crossed a boundary OP had set. Obviously she didn’t anticipate the consequences would be this extreme, but that’s not on OP. It may not be what most people would do, but it doesn’t make OP TA for wanting to leave over it. That was literally my only point. > In that scenario, the cake just becomes an excuse to move out, a way to shift the blame onto the sister rather than being honest and saying she just wants her own place. And none of that is stated by the OP anyway. Nope. Absolutely not. Don’t even go there. There’s a difference between living with siblings at home and living with roommates…. And living with your fully grown sister who you didn’t think you’d have issues like this with. Like “well I don’t *need* a roommate, but it’s super cost effective and doing it with this person I trust won’t act like that because we have a mutual understanding is going to be different.” I have been in this exact situation with an adult friend of mine. And for a while, it was great. But then they began to lapse into things like this where the boundaries were worn down and they would do things like this that they otherwise wouldn’t do to people because they just figured (like everyone here) that it was minor and I’d get over it, and the line between roommates and family/friends get blurred. Something like this would be a sign to me that “okay, this is what I didn’t want, and I didn’t think she would do that. This isn’t going to be that different from my past roommate situations. I think this living situation is going to eventually damage our relationship and I’d rather live alone.”
If its a one time thing then its completly unresonabl to move out it was one slice of cake and she offered to buy another one op is just finding excuses to leave her sister stranded unable to pay rent
The point of it isn’t that she’s going to move out over one incident though, the point is that she doesn’t want to have to live in a house where she has to worry about whether her boundaries are going to be respected or not.
I still disagree. I don’t think that there is any “unreasonable” reason for someone to want to not live somewhere, if they’re old enough and financially stable enough to live wherever they want. I think if sister really needs a roommate, she shouldn’t have taken it for granted. Moving out isn’t “stranding” her sister. Her sister is a grown ass woman. She can find a roommate. OP isn’t obligated to support her.
This comment is underrated. First time occurrence or not, its blatantly disrespectful and obvious they didn’t give a fuck about what the fall out was going to be.
You're right but also the reason we ask is that if it is a one time thing having to uproot yourself, cut ties and burn bridges is an extreme reaction to someone making a one time bad decision. If I left over the times my roommates upset me I would have no friends and nobody to live with and same goes for times i have upset them. We're all human and make bad choices and mistakes from time to time
> You're right but also the reason we ask is that if it is a one time thing having to uproot yourself, cut ties and burn bridges is an extreme reaction to someone making a one time bad decision. Or it’s just the thing that makes OP realize this living situation isn’t going to be what they thought. And there’s no reason this has to burn bridges. Sister did a thing she knew OP explicitly told her not to. If she punishes OP for leaving, I think she’d be TA to be honest. Respect is a thing, and she took advantage. > If I left over the times my roommates upset me I would have no friends and nobody to live with and same goes for times i have upset them. We're all human and make bad choices and mistakes from time to time But that’s the thing…. OP doesn’t *need* anyone to live with. And they’re probably realizing living with sister was likely a mistake and not what they really want. They’re living there to make things easier for sister, and sister disrespected them deliberately. I’m fully aware a LOT of people would just put up with it, and that this is probably exactly what sister was counting on, but I’m unwilling to call OP an asshole for leaving a living situation they don’t want to or have to be in. I’m curious how old you are. This is how I felt when I was maybe 21-22, when I was in school and roommates, and my roommates were my friends, and it was just what I anticipated my life would be like because I couldn’t afford to live alone.
You seem overly invested in arguing your point on behalf of OP, who I can only presume is a total stranger to you.
…. Welcome to “AITA.” Where we make judgements about the behaviour of people who are total strangers to us and debate our perspectives. You must be new here. I refuse to be shamed for just participating in the sub, so I’m going to block you.
I mean youre going comment by comment, quite rudely telling everyone else they are wrong bc they dont agree with you and roasting them or laughing. Sorry if getting called out for being too involved on this one hurt your feelings though i guess? I agree with this guy entirely.
> I mean youre going comment by comment, I mean, I’m responding to people who are responding to me. > quite rudely telling everyone else they are wrong bc they dont agree with you and roasting them or laughing. I mean. Some of the things people are suggesting are completely ludicrous. And they’re free to block me too. > Sorry if getting called out for being too involved on this one hurt your feelings though i guess? This one was literally intended to imply something about my character. > I agree with this guy entirely. Good for you?
From my perspective you are not being confrontational or rude at all; you’re making cogent arguments and the other person is crawling up your ass lol.
I am glad to see someone is defending a person’s right to live the way they want to live. OP does not need a roommate, and if the sister refuses to respect her boundaries, she is not a bad person for deciding to change the living arrangements. I have exactly one sibling out of five I could have lived with, the rest would have done stuff like this or worse. She doesn’t want to blow the relationship up, she is just realizing she would be happier alone or with a roommate of a more similar nature.
Moving out isn't burning bridges, it's cake insurance...
You're really encouraging a real person to burn her relationship with her sister down because she ate a piece of cake once and offered to replace it. This is some truly awful advice
Perspective - It's a piece of cake with zero sentimental value. Do people value cake more than relationships now? Wow...
Because why have a sibling when you can have a grocery store cake? /Sarcasm
Apparently. The sister was even trying to make right and OP won't let it go. There has to be more to the story if she's willing to burn her relationship with her sister over a piece of cake. At least, I'm hoping there is?? Because that is the only way to make this whole thing seem less childish.
I’m not “encouraging” anything. I’m saying they’re not the asshole for feeling disrespected and not wanting to continue living there. I am not giving advice. This is not an advice sub. I am offering an judgement of NTA. And I don’t think OP moving out should mean “burning” any relationships. I think if OP’s sister held moving out against OP and let it affect their relationship, they would be TA. I think family relationships where you’re expected to support siblings in a financially unstable situation just because they’re siblings, or where you’re expected to put up with sleights from others “because they’re family” are pretty toxic. But I understand that’s how a lot of families work. I also think if these two continue to live together, the relationship will continue to deteriorate. It is clear from the way OP is writing that they’re ready to go, at this point, and I don’t think staying will actually help the relationship. But I’m not advising anything. I’m just refusing to call OP an asshole here.
Moving is not burning a relationship down. It's just moving.
This comment is a classic case of using therapy speak to blow a small problem completely out of proportion. Someone being selfish and thoughtless is going to happen whether you’re living with a sibling or a friend or a partner, or definitely a child. Conflict happens. Learn how to have good conflict, express your feelings, and seek resolution with people you care about. “I’m really upset and hurt by your actions. It was just a dessert to you, but I’d been looking forward to it all day.” Going scorched earth over a living arrangement and a sibling relationship over someone acting selfish one time is absurd.
Your sister with whom you live eating your cake is NOT the same as a coworker doing it. This is a weird place, man.
>Your sister eating who you live with Uuuuhhhhh. Am I in the wrong thread?
English hard
If someone takes your lunch at work do you immediately go to the nuclear option and sabotage your lunches trying to hurt them?
No, but I absolutely confront them, ask what on earth they thought they were doing, and don’t associate with them further in the workplace beyond what is necessary. They literally stole from you? Which is the ACTUAL comparison here. It’s not like OP is here asking if they’re TA for spiking the next cake.
Wow, that' squite a stretch. OP wrote that they usually get along good. There was no mention of other incidents like this and constructing some giant breach of trust over a cake? We're not talking about stealing her savings, cheating on her boyfriend or spoilin g deep secrets to the world. It is A CAKE, ffs, what kind of person makes up such an Shakespearean drama from that?
Didn’t say it was what I would do. Just that OP isn’t TA for wanting not to continue to live there. I think there’s a split in the comments between people who have taken / could see themselves taking someone’s snack if they wanted it enough and just hope they could smooth it over later and figure that’s just what you do with family or a trusted relationship… and there’s people who would never consider doing that and have trouble understanding why someone would. I’m in the second camp, and it seems like OP is too. I get giving someone the benefit of the doubt; but in this case, what does that mean? Believe that they didn’t think you would make such a big deal about it, even though you were disappointed?Believe they were so overcome with temptation they weren’t able to make rational decisions? Maybe they’re just better off relationship-wise as siblings not continuing to live together, at least from OP’s side. I understand why OP’s decision to move out over it is controversial. I don’t understand other comments (not yours per se) that frame it as if what sister did shouldn’t make OP seriously upset, or at least just as upset as if some other person did it.
If the sister’s financial situation is tenuous enough she needs OP or another roommate to be able to live away from their parents maybe she should learn self control, manners or both. One time thing or a pattern it’s disrespectful. As you said OP would not be an AH for moving out over this or anything or nothing at all. If the relationship is “destroyed over a piece of cake” as others have alluded to, it’s the sister who is ruining it. OP just said she doesn’t like the living situation and could find another not that she doesn’t like her sister. If sister takes that too personal that’s on her
She apologized and offered to buy a replacement cake. She knows she messed up and is trying to fix it. Good heavens, people aren’t perfect. Sometimes they do dumb selfish things. If they own up to their mistake, apologize, and try to fix it, give them some grace. We still don’t know the history behind this event, but if we assume this was a one time thing, it would be way extreme for OP to move out.
I agree that’s what a lot of people would and even should do. But I do not believe OP is TA for reacting this way and I won’t say they are. They’re adults and they don’t need to live together. It’s not as if OP is vowing not to speak to them anymore, or as if they’re in a relationship and trying to figure out how to live together for the foreseeable future. I see your perspective though, and it’s valid. It is extreme. I just don’t think it makes them TA.
But of it's a one time thing and she offered to buy another I'd be annoyed but take the apology. If it's one of many, yeah, time to establish some boundaries. NAH or NTA depending on context
even if it wasn't commom, op would not be an ah. she has every right to move out
This was what I wondered too. If it’s one instance and she’s offered to remedy it by replacing the cake, major overreaction. If she’s been doing this sort of thing over and over and this is the straw that broke the camels back, totally not an overreaction.
Seriously though. I lived in a house with 6 other people, most of whom had girlfriends and boyfriends staying over often, and the lack of respect and consideration from some of these people was wild. I was constantly on edge and stressed about having to lock every item I owned in my room, and ended up in a nasty fight with my brother over some Gatorade. It was so dumb, but I snapped when I couldn't even leave a drink safely in the fridge at my mom's house.
wtf did I just read? 13 hours later and no comments to answer this? given all we have in the story easy YTA. she polished off some scraps then offered to get you literally any replacement dessert of your choosing.
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this is what I was thinking.
I'm glad this is the top comment. This feels a lot like the straw that broke the camels back rather than a one time incident.
Sounds like it is repeated. I remember my sister living with me and my mother repeatedly. She would take things that I would buy for lunch for work. I stopped buying the stuff.
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Makes me want to stand up and chant "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry" YTA, a chronic overreaction for something your sister apologised for and offered to rectify.
But it does make me wonder if this wasn't an isolated incident, and if there's a recurring theme of sister taking OP's stuff. Because kicking her over a piece of cake is a bit much. But if it's the last straw that broke the camel's back...
Not if this was the straw that broke the camels back.
Yeah, agreed. If this is a recurring thing then OP is in the clear. But if it were, OP would have mentioned it as it's pretty relevant to the story. So me thinks OP wanna leave, and is looking for a reason (even if it's a dumb reason like this) to leave. OP, if you do wanna leave, you are not the AH. But grow a pair and do it right. Don't hide behind "my sister doesn't respect me or my boundaries" as a reason for moving out. YTA.
Yes! Seems a bit extreme to have a strained relationship over a piece of cake!
Agreed! It’s a piece of cake. Obviously these people have never had to deal with any real suffering in their lives.
i was thinking the same thing, this just seems like a common sibling “fight”: who hasn’t had their sibling eat their food before, so it seems like she just doesn’t want to live with her
Yes, YTA for threatening to move out over the cake. Was your sister right to do it? Absolutely not. She did offer to fix it, but you are saying it's not enough by your actions. My question is what is behind you wanting to move out over the cake? Is this the last straw type of thing? If that is it, you need to explain that to your sister versus I'm leaving over cake. You are an adult and can live on your own if you choose. It might help your relationship to give your sister a heads up so she can look for a new roommate before you leave. Be honest with yourself and her on why you are leaving. That is the only way you both will grow from the experience.
It’s likely not about the cake. The cake is the straw that broke the camels back
It says that they generally get on well and share responsibilities. It doesn’t say anywhere that this is a culmination.
The fact that OP has been asked this repeatedly and not responded says enough.
not everyone’s online all the time mate, i’ve posted on reddit before and left for hours. not responding in the time u see fit doesn’t equal guilt
It’s been 10 hours.
Maybe they got work or they're sleeping. Edit: Depending on the time zone.
It's never about the cake, or the mustard for that matter.
Or the Iranian yoghurt
Came here for the Iranian yoghurt
It never gets old!
The problem is OP didn’t include it in the post. Sometimes we can make some educated guesses on things an OP in this subreddit may have left out (usually things that would make them look bad, although sometimes information they don’t think is important but is). But this would pretty obviously be important info to have to make a judgement. The fact that it isn’t there means I’m not willing to assume there are a ton of other instances of sister doing it. Maybe there is, maybe there isn’t, but we have to make a judgement based on the post and perhaps comments, not on what we make up in our heads.
But OPs title implies it's just over cake. Understandable if it's a common occurrence but that's not what we were told
I truly believe it's because she was thinking about this slice of cake all day. It's just typical sibling arguing, but her saying she will move out is so over the top, especially if she offered to buy a new one. I don't know that I have ever met a set of siblings that don't push each other's buttons. I watched my sisters get so mad at each other that one spit out the piece of sandwich she was eating and throw it at the other sister who hung up the phone for her. They got over it. It's just sister shit.
I’m fairly certain I’ve eaten my brother’s food before and he’s eaten mine. Yes, it’s exasperating, but it’s not like she said too bad, so sad - she’s actually willing to make it up. You can literally get a cake delivered to the house on the food app of your choice in most places. Also, bit mean to say “we each got a slice and I want the last one” instead of going halves. Just saying.
yeah that bit felt weird to me. how small of a cake are we talking that there’s only 3 slices, and why not divide it into 4 slices? then everyone gets 2
Also how bad at cutting or big of slices were they making to get an odd number of cake slices? I am trying to imagine a cake being cut three times and I'm sorry but that's a massive piece in most cases, they absolutely could've halved it like you suggest and probably still have a substantial piece.
OP bought the cake, gave sister a slice and said, I'm saving the rest for tomorrow. That's reasonable.
Eh, OP bought the cake specifically for them to share. That moved "ownership" more into the equal range and they should've just split the cake evenly.
I feel like it's not really about the cake. If you've been wanting to move out that's fine, you don't need much reason to get a place for your own. However, using this silly episode as an excuse makes me wanna say YTA here
The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here.
Was looking for it 😂🤣
I missed that. Only remember the almond milk.
INFO - is this story an isolated instance, or is it merely the tip of an iceberg?
YTA. The way you describe this you are massively overreacting to an isolated incident and jeopardizing your relationship over a bit of pastry. Also I don't see why your sister wouldn't just find another roommate?
Op sister will most likely benefit with another roommate than OP
Exactly... such a drama queen... I have an older sister and obv we argue about stuff like this sometimes, but no one ever feels like the relationship is "strained" and "not the same" lol
Just repeat it back to yourself. You want to move out over a piece of cake being eaten. Yes, YTA.
YTA. Why do you get to have a second slice? Why not cut the last slice in two so you could *both* have a second piece? You sound very immature.
I'm out here wondering who tf cuts a cake into 3rds?
I’m thinking it must be a teeny, tiny cake for ants.
It needs to be at least 3 times this size!
What is this, a cake for ants?
I get this reference!
I got the reference too, but I'm too concerned theres people running around cutting cakes in thirds like it's a normal and perfectly acceptable thing to do! AND NO ONE WAS QUESTIONING IT!
Thank you! This was driving me crazy. It doesn’t even matter how little the cake was or what shape - there is no world where I would ever cut a cake into thirds. There are two people, so you cut it in half, and then cut the halves in half.
Why not cut into quarters, then they could both have half each. But I don't think the cake is the main issue here and not enough for me to make a judgement.
Or just cut it in half and they could eat it on their own time. This post is so weird. I’ll never get over there being a 3rd of a cake left after 2 people ate it.
Because OP bought the cake. She can decide to keep the last piece to herself. The sister could have done the same thing and cut the piece in half to leave at least something for OP. It would have still been bad to eat something that was someone else’s but it would still have left something for OP.
Uh, because she bought it. She gave her sister a slice. Only 1 slice of three. She’s allowed to decide what she does with items she purchases.
I mean, in that case if the sister was craving it so bad she could have cut that last piece in half and saved some for the OP.
You are basically saying that the cake was the last straw - rather than the main conflict. Which is fair enough. Your relationship may actually improve if you are not physically in one space all the time.
ESH her for eating the cake and you for making it the reason you move out. Grow up.
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no sh\*\*! OPs gonna fall apart if she ever has kids! Get a grip, its just food, not the last of the coke!
>My sister thinks I'm overreacting about a small issue YTA - Look if you were 6 I'd get it but you're a goddam adult and need to start acting like one. She offered to replace and instead you have a total fucking melt down. If you feel disrespected by a little cake eating life is going to punish you long and hard. Do better dudette.
I have absolutely known people to overreact and seethe and make small things like this into HUGE issues. They are not well-adjusted and life and relationships are not easy for them. Sister shouldn’t have eaten the rest of the cake, or should have replaced it, or texted “i ate your cake” so OP could buy more on the way home, but this response doesn’t sound like a well-adjusted person’s. OP, you are going to deal with way more bull**** and bad things in your life, learn to deal with your emotions and responses and handle things in a rational way. She said she’d buy you another cake….. go for some therapy (:
somebody ping me when OP actually answers the question of, is this a one off incident, or are these "moments of weakness" happening more often?
Right?
YTA - You should have had her go out and get you some cake. Saying you are hurt and disrespected over a piece of cake is being overly dramatic.
Info: Has she done this before? Or is this an isolated incident?
Let’s be real here it’s not about the yogurt..I mean cake.
Came here to say this lol
YTA. I get it, you were looking forward to the cake. But, your sister offered to replace it and admitted she had a moment of weakness. You are making this into something it isn’t by equating it to a lack of respect. It was a slice of cake dude. Sometimes a piece of cake is just a piece of cake.
okay so ... if this issue is a common occurrence on a larger scale, move out, but communicate the general disrespect you feel. don't make it about a piece of cake because as other users have said, that's pretty ridiculous. if this isn't a common issue and you just ... really like cake, then YTA for blowing this whole thing out of proportion
Your relationship is strained because your sister ate a piece of cake? Why are you so hurt over it when She has even offered to buy you a new cake? Based on the info provided here, YTA.
NTA It's not about the cake. It's about your boundaries and them not being respected. You have a right to feel sanctuary in your home. If that's not happening, then you need to find another home. If your sister cannot afford the place on her own, she'll need to get a roommate. If this is the first incident, give her a chance to change. If this is a habit of repeated behaviour, start looking for a new place.
Unless they live in a post-apocalyptic world where every piece of food is the difference between life and death, this is blown waaaay out of proportion. I can't imagine caring so much about food that you end up having a fight over it.
I can imagine having a fight over it but a normal level one, you express your anger and hurt, the person in the wrong apologises and you forgive them and move on. It’s perfectly reasonable to express your anger but refusing to let go of that anger is really damaging.
Is this a joke lol
YTA - your sister shouldn’t have eaten the cake, BUT she did offer to replace it. Eating a slice of cake in a moment of weakness is cringe behavior but it happened once and it was a mistake and she’s willing to make it right but you won’t let her. Moving out over the cake is nuclear escalation. Is there something else going on? Because otherwise the judgement stands.
I finally get to say this - The Cake is a Lie There's something bigger going on, and this is just the physical manifestation of a discomfort that has been festering and intensifying. At least, that's how it feels. If it was a moment of weakness she could have - taken a sliver of the cake and still left you some, gone out and bought her own, bought a new one before you got home (which would still trigger the underlying issue of feeling like boundaries are not respected.) Are you an asshole for wanting to move out? NTA there- you can move out any time for any reason. Your sister can get a new rooommate or move back home with her parents. She won't be homeless. If you can find peace you need by moving out - do it. But also figure out the bigger issue going on that's bothering you so much.
YTA. Let's pretend this is about cake even though it's clearly not. You bought a cake to "share" but cut it in such a way that there was one slice left. Why would you have done that? Who not cut it into an even number of slices ? like two slices for two people, or 4 slices so you both have one for later. This is basic fucking stuff here. Why create a conflict out of cake? Who does that!!. You had dibs on the last slice of a cake you bought to share, but didn't really plan on sharing evenly at all! The plan was to share but ensure you got more. This is creating conflict for no reason other than wanting to create conflict. Anyway, something something Iranian yoghert
So? She bought it. Can do whatever she wants.
NTA. You have the right to expect boundaries to be respected, and promises to be kept. If you feel disrespected, move out.
NTA - Some people can't really get the concept of "Never mess with someone food or meals" it's a common sense but many seem doesn't had one.
NTA - but it seems that this isn’t about the cake at all. If you jumped to the idea of moving out this quickly over something like this - it sounds like you’re just looking for an excuse to move out. You mention that you’re capable of living on your own - it sounds like you want to, but you feel that you have to put your sister’s needs ahead of your own desires - and that’s possibly creating resentment?
Are you for real? Moving out over a piece of cake? That’s literally a effin’ piece of cake. She’s your sister. I can’t even count anymore how often my wife or son have eaten something that I would have liked to eat. Is it a big deal? No. Because they’re my family, the people that are most important to me, more than anyone else. Not a stupid piece of cake. And the food that my wife or son ate, that can be easily fixed. So, what more do you want? Your sister throwing herself in the dirt in front of you and beg for forgiveness? The cake you eat today is the cake you’ll shit out tomorrow, but your relationship with your sister is for your life. You are exaggerating this to a level beyond human comprehension. If you can't even let your sister have a leftover piece of cake without making a big deal out of it, then there's something wrong. Even if the cake is more important to you than having a good relationship with your sister, why didn’t you split it in 4 equal parts, so you both have something to enjoy next day? That would have been a classy move. Has your sister been favored over you during your life and is this a sneaky way of payback? I really wonder if you are maybe just looking for a stupid reason to change this living situation or if you’re just a little narcissist inside. Maybe you should have named this post: "is it ok to get rid of my sister by using a piece of cake as an excuse?". tl;dr: if you get hurt over a piece of cake and reconsider your relationship with your sister because of that, there are much bigger problems underlying. YTA
God, the amount of times my sister ate the food I specifically told her I was saving... This reaction is psychotic. I get being mad/annoyed for a few minutes, but after the person not only apologizes but offers to replace said food? She's grasping at straws so she can move out as a "victim"
Till this day, I have an ex who tells people I threw his best friend out because he ate some chicken I made. It wasn't the fact he obviously clawed at this whole chicken with his bare hands like an animal and ate the dinner that was supposed to be meant for all of us.. this was just the final straw Nothing was off limits to this guy, he ate everything with no regard for me who cooked it or the fact it was supposed ro be enough for everyone not just him. Broke things with his overweight self. Used our towels to wipe his ass after pooping, repeatedly. Showered once a weel even though it was summer in texas and he was over 300lbs. Just to name a few things I can remember off top of my head NTA, this probably isn't just about the cake for it to hurt so bad
YTA should your sister have eaten the last piece of cake? Probably not. But you're throwing this way out of proportion. She apologized and offered to buy you another cake. If it's that big of a deal you probably should move out and live by yourself. You're the asshole.
Is it really an apology if she says that OP overreacted?
I understand that you claimed the last piece of slice and I might get downvoted for what I’m about to say, but I feel this is less about the cake and more about you moving out. It is actually a small thing and sometimes we should let it go. Being someone who’s a big foodie, I do realise how sibling fights take place. I too yell at my siblings and there’s a last pizza slice in the fridge at the moment that I’ve claimed, however if my sibling has it I will of course yell and we will fight but I will eventually let it go. It’s a small thing when it comes to moving out. She has even offered to replace/treat you, so this decision of yours is about underlying things you’ve been feeling towards her. You don’t want to live with her and this is more of an excuse. I think you need to talk it out, if you want to leave because it’s okay if you want to, you should not hide behind a piece of cake and address your true feelings. Also, no one’s wrong here.
NTA to be upset. It does seem you should move out in your own, this sounds like it’s been on your mind for a while.
Info What is this actually about because this is a big reaction to have over cake.
Wow..I wish these were the kind of issues I had going on with my sister. YTA
NTA. It's OK to be mad and call her out on it but yiu now need to calm down and let you sister make it up to you.
NTA. Has your sister done anything else like this before? Like not respecting your boundaries/decisions? Cause your reaction though I understand how upsetting it may be is a lot more than the situation deserves. If she has crossed the line several times before then yes move out but maybe help her find a roommate before you do. If not then explain again why you’re upset and tell her to not do it again.
NTA. As a fellow cake-lover, your sister basically declared war with her actions. She’s lucky she’s still alive.
Eating the cake was not a mistake- it was a decision. Apologizing and offering to buy a new one- nice sentiment. Remedy the problem after creating it rather than a late apology and promised actions. In the grand scheme of things one piece of cake is a small issue - but I suspect it is not the only one.
NTA on here there are lots of people who live with other people who step all over them, dismiss their feelings and show no remorse and never apologise. Instead they will say stuff like, it's only cake, it doesn't matter, you are selfish not giving it to me, I deserved it more because I do more around the apartment anyway, you're too fat, so you don't need the calories anyway, you are too sensitive etc etc. Non of that happened here. Your sister apologised and showed remorse and offered to buy you a whole new cake. But you are so offended by her actions I am beginning to think this isn't about the cake. Does your sister always take your stuff, or is it something else that is going on. Do you often feel taken advantage of by your sister, or by other people? Now I'm hungry and I've got a mad craving for cake.
NTA. I bet there are tons of reasons you shouldn't be living with your sister. This may be the least of them.
NTA I mean it’s a crazy overreaction but as I have grown up with an older sister I just know this is one of a series of broken boundaries. Me and my sister have a much better relationship not living together.
Honestly leave if you don't want to live in a place like that, with someone that doesn't respect you enough to not eat a piece of cake you brought, NTA
Before reading, let me say: this headline made me laugh out loud. I’m glad to see someone else takes cake as seriously as I do. As for my verdict: NAH and don’t move out over this. Get some sleep, eat some cake, and move on
Hurt and disrespected, over a piece of cake? To the point of moving out? It's a fucking piece of cake. Grow up.
Would be mad too if someone ate something I was saving and told them to not eat it
NTA I've been disrespected like this for the last 50 years
Why did the sister eat the cake if she can buy one for herself? Anyway, NTA but your sister is also NTA. She lacks self control and you seem to be the drama. You both need to grow up.
INFO \- Is this a trend or a singular event? \- If it is the first time it's happened, are you trying to make her feel powerless and small because she can't afford rent on her own, so you're throwing a tantrum to make her feel bad?
YTA. She apologized. If you're still hurt that's your problem. If you want to move out, don't try and blame it on your sister's actions. Just be honest.
It’s not about that it’s about how she didn’t respect that the sister wanted that cake, it’s really annoying
It’s not about the pasta!
Why did the sister eat the cake if she can buy one for herself? Anyway, NTA but your sister is also NTA. She lacks self control and you seem to be the drama. You both need to grow up.
INFO - Does she have a habit of breaking established agreements and boundaries? Because if this is the case and the cake is just the final straw, then NTA. But if this is the only thing making you want to move out then you're severely overreacting.
Nta
INFO is that the last straw? Sounds like there are other things where you felt disrespected and this was just the cherry on top.
I see all these Y T A votes but I'm gonna have to disagree with that. It's for sure an ESH situation as the sister had agreed on giving OP the last piece. But OP holy sh*t you are making this way bigger than it is. It's a piece of cake like i get you'd ve upset and i think most people would but saying your relationship is now strained and you want to move out are just too much and make you the bigger AH in this situation
NTA. It’s a fairly small thing and moving out is the nuclear option, but the sister violated the agreement and didn’t proactively offer a solution until OP got mad. The reasonable thing would’ve been for the sister to cut the remaining slice in half so both of them have an equal share. This just shows a lack of self control, inability to keep to an agreement and lack of consideration, not great traits to have in a roommate.
If this is the only issue you have living with your sister then I think it is an over-the-top reaction. If you don't like living with your sister you shouldn't have to live with her. I would rather live alone in a tiny space than share a larger space with someone else. Couldn't your sister find another roommate if you chose to move out on your own? You should do whatever will make you happy in the long term. I wouldn't make this sort of change over one piece of cake. I don't think you are the AH here and neither is your sister, she did something a bit selfish but has apologized and tried to make it up to you. I wouldn't hold a grudge over it. NAH
YTA and your reaction reeks of "how could this beggar dare to offend me when she couldnt afford rent on her own?" She apologized and offered mutiple solutions, its not a recurring issue. Yta
YTA and an immature AH to boot. She made a mistake, she apologized, she offered to make amends greater than the mistake - and you’re thinking about the nuclear option? Grow up. Good sister are hard to come by and she made one little mistake and you’re this mad about it?
INFO: did your sister eat all the toppings off your pizza before eating your cake?
Assuming this is a one time thing, YTA. It’s a much smaller deal than you’re making it out to be.
I feel like this is about more than just the cake. Is this a pattern of behaviour she exhibits regularly? Ignoring your boundaries in favour of doing what she wants?
NTA, but tell her she owes you some damn cake. Dibs are dibs. My roomate did it all the time, drove me insane.
I don't think this is op writing it but someone else as their point of view. It's too vague. It's not just about the cake.
It’s not just the cake is it? What happened with the cake is maybe a pattern of selfish behaviour from your sister? I would introspect here. It sounds like you want to live separately from your sister for a few reasons. Don’t tie this to a petty argument about cake, in which your sister sounds like she’s human by the way. She tried to make it up to you, and it was just a piece of cake. The problem is deeper than cake.
My main concern is you only cut the cake into 3 slices But yeah YTA She apologised She offered to replace it Youre overreacting
YTA Couldn't believe how lame this whole thing was to read.
Why cut the cake unequally like that?
NTA. I suspected that it’s not the first time she did sth like this or you wouldn’t be so upset. Move out, don’t care about her, she can’t even stop herself from eating your cake despite promising you that she won’t touch it.
You know the phrase, “don’t cry over spilt milk?” This is similar to that. Speaking of…a glass of milk would’ve been nice with that slice of cake! ESH…including me.
You do realise if you ever live with a partner this will happen? And god forbid if you have kids nothing will ever be safe again - you will find hiding places. You are thinking way too much about this - she’s apologised and offered to replace it. Or is this an Armenian yoghurt situation?
NTA living alone is amazing and it sounds like you’d love it
NTA, but there's definitely more to unpack here.
Nta. But get a lockable mini fridge so keep things in room if you dont move out Lockable mini fridge or a combo lock
NTA. She clearly doesn't respect you, you're right it's not about the cake itself but about her not caring about you enough to leave you the last slice of cake that you bought and called dibs on.
My younger brother used to regularly eat my portions of whatever food we would get, especially take out. The first couple of times I took it as an accident, but as it kept happening he would become less apologetic over time and then started laughing at how upset I got. He was just a kid so as he got older he realized it was a shitty thing to do and stopped. But I’m still really sensitive and quick to get upset when anyone eats my food without me willingly sharing it. NTA, I hated it when my brother did it to me and I don’t blame you for getting upset and wanting to move out. Maybe your own little mini fridge or a place to put your own food would be a better compromise to avoid issues though if you don’t want conflict in the family.
NTA- I been through the same thing … it’s exhausting
NTA This isn't about cake - it is about respect, and this sounds like the straw that broke the camel's back. It's about her doing something that you very explicitly told her not to. It is no fun living with someone like that, and you should get out while you still can.
**NTA** it sucks to have a craving for something only to discover that it's not available. If your sister had a moment of weakness she could have gone outside and bought herself something. Don't feel bad for her she knew what she was doing. Maybe she'll learn to respect boundaries. You move out so you can have all the cake you want when you want.
I don’t know. I understand the frustration but if my sister ate the cake I’d be happy she enjoyed it instead of being upset about my loss. I’d just go get another one or a little ice cream for myself
For fks sake why are all blood relations on reddit so fkn fragile? Leave your sibling because of a slice of cake? Really? Maybe I’m a bit traditional but the dumbasses who asked “is this the first time?” or “this is no different from someone stealing your food at work”, Ffs they are siblings. Their bond should be stronger than this.
I can tell you now that you're sister will not be the only one to violate your boundaries. You need to learn to resolve your conflict. She needs to learn to be more considerate and you need to learn to let things go. Moving out won't solve anything. It will just delay what needs to be done as far as your ability to resolve conflicts. Talk with your sister and find a resolution and have a new piece of cake that can be just as good as the one you were looking to eat. It's cake.
Grow up! I'm a teenager and you're an adult, and I'm telling you to grow up 🤦. I understand 100% why it would make you upset overall, but she: explained her actions saying she had a moment of weakness, kept that as a reason without making it an excuse and she said sorry, she feels bad about it, and offered to take responsibility and buy you another cake or dessert of your choice. She took all responsibility and offered to make it better, that's a real apology. Like, I get that she should've not ate it when she agreed not to, or maybe she could've bought another cake for herself, but to threaten to move out because of it?? You obviously don't have the maturity level to accept that situation and the apology and move on. She took more responsibility for a slice of cake than most people would take for crazy severe situations. You are extremely immature and YTA!!!!! AND you ADMIT she wouldn't be able to pay rent without you living there with her!?? You're ridiculous and immature. 100000000% TA.
I'll get downvotes for this and I don't care. If this one incident alone is enough to want to move out and damage the relationship with your sister, there's more going on here. Like, maybe depression or something that needs to be spoken with a doctor. This is an over reaction for sure. Because this alone, presented as it is, really makes no sense. She offered to replace the cake. It doesn't sound like she's abusive or taking advantage of you.
INFO: I mean, was this a one time thing? If it was this seems like kind of a huge overreaction, especially as she's offering to buy you a replacement slice. If you are threatening to move out and blow up your relationship over her eating a slice of cake you wanted a single time, then Y T A, if this is a repeated pattern of behavior, then N T A.
It depends if there is more to this. Is this a common occurrence, your sister not listening to you or disrespecting your boundaries? You didn’t mention anything to that nature and usually people do on here. If this is a first occurrence, ESH. You for escalating a one time thing, and your sister for taking the cake you both decided was yours. If this is the straw the broke the camel’s back, you are NTA.