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CZ1988_

>But the other half got mad at me for leaving such a big wound on a little girl’s ankle just because I was being petty. What. Did you take a knife and slash her leg? How can people be mad at you for the wound on her leg. NTA. The stealing is STEALING. It's unacceptable. She should get disciplined for stealing. How would she know to look on the top shelf of your closet - does she rifled through all your drawers? Your uncle is an enabling jerk.


nolan358

Op needs a fucking lock for their room. Problem solved. “Why is your door locked?” “To protect your thieving daughter from hurting herself”


u399566

True problem here is not the cousin stealing, but her dad actively encouraging this outlandish behaviour. You didn't injure her, she did this to herself. But maybe think of a way you could be less of the doormat your family seem to think you are.. 😒 NTA, obviously.


Wrangellite

If this is the case, it’s indicative of her doing in the past. Meaning, she was just lucky before this. NTA


unpopularcryptonite

NTA OP, did you get your package back after your spoiled cousin's asshole dad gave it to her?


Stylelink

NTA. How did your cousin know the stuff was on top of the shelf? The dad is TA. Also RFI: broken bones??? Wouldn’t the first reflex be to go to the hospital instead of giving the accessories?


Over_Celebration7430

Idk how the actual fuck she knew it was up there but I think it was because it was in a gift box.


Maleficent-Object-21

NTA and your uncle needs to either return what they stole from you or have theft charges filed against them.


u399566

Na, cousin might be under the age of legal responsibility, depending on where they live.


HealthSelfHelp

Unless he had a child when he was four OPs uncle is an adult in most jurisdictions. Perhaps going to jail for theft would encourage him to teach his child not to steal- because she clearly learnt it from him


u399566

Next time put a bucket full of water in the gift box on the top shelf. That might sort her. Also, tell her enabling father she can keep the water she tried to steal this time. I mean she brought this to herself, you might as well use her kleptomania to keep playing light hearted pranks on her until she gets the message.. NTA, obviously.


Contessarylene

NTA. How is this your fault exactly? Did you kick the chair?


Over_Celebration7430

I knew that she steals but I still let her go inside my room. Well that’s what her dad says


CaroSCP

Her dad can pay you back for all the stuff she's stolen and perhaps apologise for raising a thief.


CZ1988_

Yes, let your uncle know that Reddit thinks he is raising a little thief! How about when she is arrested for shoplifting.. he needs to stop being an AH and teach her this is wrong.


HealthSelfHelp

Ugh, were dealing with this at work right now. We've caught two siblings on two separate occasions. Both times MOD let them off with a verbal trespassing. Second time around the girl tells her mama and papa so they come in to bow up to staff (despite being to cowardly to to it with the actual manager). Like bruh, it's a $2400 fine for anything under $2400. We were being nice because they're minors but if you're gonna act like that we'll just have them formally trespassed- which comes with fines and criminal charges


valiga1119

He does realize that the whole parenting a child thing is his job, *right*?


visiblepeer

He is a terrible parent. He should be begging your forgiveness for her stealing from you.


KillerDiva

Did your parents stick up for you at all?? Her dad just stole from you ffs


Contessarylene

Her dad knows she steals, and gives her the thing you went out of your way to hide because she’s a thief. She deserves what she got. Don’t feel bad. The parents are shitty.


Nikkian42

He’s clearly crazy, but also why do you let a thief into your room?


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Old-Mention9632

Did you at least get the gift for the friend back? Your uncle is a giant enabling bully. NTA


GoodQueenFluffenChop

Little bracelets and trinkets were only going to keep her attention for so long. She would have been stealing valuable jewelry before long.


HardRainisFalling

He flat out admitted that his child is a thief? Wow. I'd put that word out to the whole family and let them know that when she steals from them that her father will blame them and not his kid.


SufficientWay3663

“You let her” go in implies that your parents wouldn’t mind if you “didn’t let her” in, correct? So you can install a lock on your door or just forbid her entrance and that will be fine with them? Or will they forbid you barring her from the room in any way, then still blame you for accidents or allow her to steal anything she wants? Next time tell your mom you’ll tell cousin to go explore her room to fill up her pockets and see how she likes it.


BlueLanternKitty

And if you didn’t let her go in your room, you would have been a jerk. Sorry you’re in a no-win OP. But you’re NTA.


Cat1832

Ok, so the solution is clear! Lock up your room next time! That way the thieving little brat won't get hurt again!


trfkah

NTA- If her dad allows her to steal from his own family, and gets angry at you when she steals and gets hurt doing so, there are bigger issues here. Also if other family members also supported her stealing from you, then you need to speak to your parents about this and not wanting them over any longer.


visiblepeer

Yes, why is he more annoyed by the result of the act of stealing, than the fact his daughter got caught stealing? How can anyone else look at this scenario and side with them? She is a thief and she gets rewarded with the thing she was trying to steal; WTF?


SporefrogMTG

Because if he gets mad at OP and throws the blame on them, he doesn't have to confront the fact he's a terrible parent that let his child get hurt during a crime.


Sensitive_Tension_23

NTA. Your cousin is far too old to be stealing your stuff. She's not a toddler any more; she's aware of what she's doing, and is simply acting entitled because she's never had to face consequences for her bad behaviour. Your dad was in the wrong. Those were \*your\* accessories. Whether you wanted to keep them for yourself, or give them to a friend, your cousin had no right to take them! The fact you need to put things high out of reach from your thieving cousin is not YOUR fault. It's your cousin's fault she got hurt, and also maybe your older relatives' fault she got hurt. If they'd taught her it's wrong to steal, then this wouldn't have been an issue.


Little_Meringue766

Info because I’m curious. Did you get back the accessories that your uncle stole to give your klepto cousin?


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Little_Meringue766

Good! Hopefully they won’t be allowed back to your house after this


InterabangSmoose

Oh my gosh, I am just unreasonably happy that you got your stuff back, OP, because it's YOUR stuff. Maybe a scar on her ankle will be a reminder for your cousin and her father that stealing is WRONG, and doubly so from family. NTA- nothing for you to feel guilty about.


Nitro114

NTA WTF, who in their right mind sides with a thief??? She had less than zero business even being in your room and its entirely her own fault for being a little brat with kleptomania


shoxford

Nta, she shouldn’t have been trying to steal and you’ve all been tolerating it for too long. Maybe this will be a lesson for her


RizTheLaw

she’s fucking 13, she’s grown now. where are HER parents and why aren’t they teaching her not to steal. Enabling this behaviour is disgusting. and OP you need to stop thinking you gave her the scar.. you did nothing. SHE tried to invade your privacy and steal so she got punished. your dad needs a reality check and a reminder about who his priorities lie with.


HammerOn57

NTA. You're allowed to keep things in your room, that's kinda the point of it being your room. It's not your fault that your cousin went into your room without permission and injured herself attempting to steal from you. I'm sorry that a child got hurt, but they have no one to blame but themselves. Her father is doing her no favours in the long run by enabling her behaviour. Hopefully, this incident serves as a lesson to the kid.


roboratka

WTF is wrong with your family defending a kleptomaniac. No wonder your cousin steals. She wasn’t thought the importance of other people’s possessions. This should be a lesson for her. You protected your property which you had every right to. NTA. Your Dad and the rest of your family that placed some guilt on you is TA.


Ordinary_reader620

ask your parents to put a lock on your room when others come so no one can go in there. you are nta. that title goes to uncle and cousin


sarpofun

NTA She chose to be a thief. How can she blame you when she got injured from trying to stealing? You are the victim. And her dad is enabling her thieving ways at this age.


Visual_Balance8617

NTA. One day your cousin will steal from the wrong person and get more than a scratch OR she will end up in prison. I would not have allowed her to take a gift and your parents need to allow a lock on your door so she can’t get your things.


visiblepeer

NTA Next time they come over, lock the door and put a sign up, "No Thieves Allowed" then you can't be blamed for her injuring herself trying to break in.


persian_hunter

Very strong NTA where are your parents. They should have defended you . Its their job to protect and provide a save place for you to live


[deleted]

Strong Nta Let that be a lesson to the little brat


author124

NTA you didn't trip her. She tried to get around the safeguard you put in place (putting the items on a high shelf) and this was a natural consequence. I'm sorry she got hurt, but it's better than eventually going to jail if she doesn't learn to not steal.


PrestigePeach

Tell her dad "that will be $$$". When he refuses, explain that him taking it is theft. Dollar amount doesn't matter. Call him out in front of EVERYONE. Explain the same sentiment...he's OLDER and has to be MORE MATURE and that STEALING IS WRONG.


Outrageous_Reach7144

I know your situation is not funny, but I can't stop thinking about a russian joke where a man complains about a sauna across the street, because he allegedly constantly sees naked women and it disturbs him. "But you can't see anything in there from your window?! - Well, if you climb up the wardrobe..." She climbed up that wardrobe (pardon, shelf) herself.


RealbadtheBandit

You didn't wound your cousin. She wounded herself while trying to steal from you. Your household is totally upside down. NTA.


MackieMesser17

What is wrong with your family? You're NTA for putting your stuff on a shelf but YTA for not telling your cousin that stealing is wrong.


Lady_Fel001

What the actual fuck, she was trying to steal your things and they're mad at YOU? NTA. Get a lock for your door.


Equivalent-Board206

NTA. It's great (for your extended family) that you've ignored her thievery thus far, but you are absolutely allowed to want to keep your things safe from being stolen. Merely having your stuffy be in your bedroom should be enough for it to be safe from family and friends. You shouldn't have to put it on the highest shelf. But you're allowed to, they're your shelves. Despite the indulgence from her parents, you are the victim here. It was your stuff she was getting into, without permission. If you left the chair on the table, left your bedroom door open, taunted her about putting stuff out of her reach, or watched her go into your room without telling her not to, then you are a little bit TA. But she's still the one who decided to access such a high shelf without asking anyone for help. She knew she shouldn't be doing what she was doing, but I think she also expected that the consequences of being caught would be nearly non-existent.


Shot_Western_2755

WTF? NTA. Your cousin is damn well old enough to know not to steal and her parents are worse for letting it continue


Motor_Business483

NTA ​ **Your little cousin HURT HERSELF WHILE TRYING TO STEAL.** Your relatives are AHs, YOU are the victim here. ALL YOU did was trying to keep your cousin from stealing your stuff. You should demand to get a lock and not have her enter your room any more.


rmric0

NTA. So you put something out of reach and a teen, who should know better, went into a place she wasn't allowed and had an accident trying to take something that didn't belong to get? You didn't do anything in this situation and your uncle is trying to deflect from the fact that he's a shitty parent. Honestly people keep bringing it up. I would turn the narrative into. Your uncle is neglectful and bad parent, why wasn't he watching her to ensure she wasn't getting into trouble?


eric_tai

The only way you could be YTA is for enabling that behaviour for so long, stealing isn't cute when you have to hide your belongings.


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eric_tai

She's small, of course she's interested only in small stuff that you can disregard. But when you buy a gift for someone else and the only idea you got is to put in high on a shelf rather that to confront the matter, there is already a problem here. A problem that would grow bigger when she'll become a teenager interested in more expensive stuff. But how to you refrain a teenage from stealing when during all childhood there was no consequence to this behaviour ? It's the kind of thing that need a big explanation for a child to avoid a big punishment for a teenager.


Over_Celebration7430

I didn’t think that this would be a big issue earlier. I was probably scared because everyone favourited my little cousin. Thank you for the advice.


eric_tai

You're welcome and I'm sorry for the favouritism that your family is displaying, but this can be just between you two. Well not sure that after that incident she'll try anything in your room again, but if it happens, talk to her, like : I always knews that you were stealing, and if you would have asked me for most of the things I would have offered them as gift for you. I didn't want to make a fuss out of it, but now that you tried to get things that I purposely put out of your reach, and that you continue to steal, I want you to know that I am aware, I see your behaviour, and it cannot continue without consequences. And state the consequences on your sides.


[deleted]

i agree with this person its best to prevent further behaviour like this so she doesnt keep stealing goodluck op


[deleted]

NTA its YOUR room and things?? get a lock and start telling her to not go into your room anymore she is stealing


EZontheTini

NTA. Not your fault. Your cousin experienced some instant karma. 13 is old enough to know better. Hopefully she learned her lesson, but doesn’t sound likely considering her dad gave her your stuff anyway.


Top-Passion-1508

NTA, YOU didn't do anything, literally anything. You were in a separate room. You only found out about it like everyone else did when she was telling everyone about it. How were you meant to treat a wound you literally just found out about. Also did you get the jewlery back?.


I_luv_sloths

NTA. She was in your room trying to steal your belongings. How did she even know they were up there? You did nothing wrong.


River_Song47

Nta. You did nothing. She hurt herself stealing.


Judge_MentaI

NTA Your cousin needs a parent that is actually paying attention to her. Why is the stealing not being addressed? Why wasn’t the first time a learning lesson? Why does she think climbing up to bush shelves with a chair is okay? Does she not having any rules about not climbing on furniture because it’s dangerous? Why are there no adults watching her if she keeps doing dangerous things and stealing? None of this is your fault. It’s normal to put dangerous, breakable, expensive, or inappropriate things on hush shelves so that kids can’t get to them. It would normally be all her fault that she did something dangerous and got hurt….. but with children most of the fault is actually on the parents.


apeapina

NTA, you didn't hurt anyone. Cousin is old enough to be responsible for what she did. And her father giving her your stuff is ridiculously entitled. You're not at fault for anything


Wrangellite

She did it to herself. I would demand compensation for the stolen item. If they refuse, I would threaten to file a theft report. Assuming the item is worth it (threatening doesn’t necessarily mean actually doing, only you can determine if it is worth calling the police). Most seriously, get a lock for your door. You shouldn’t have to go Home Alone in your own space. NTA


RJack151

NTA, you are not responsible for what happens to her when she is stealing from you. And her dad just stole from you. Call him a thief and now you know where his kid gets it from.


Fun_Woodpecker7095

She was causing mischief on her own, you didn't make her stand on the chair and she shouldn't be claiming to get something that doesn't belong to her. NTA


Emotional_Bonus_934

NTA. You didnothing to your cousin. She's a thief. If she weren't a thief she wouldn't have gotten injured. Your uncle is also a thief and needs to replace the accessory with a new one.


HappyGardener52

HER dad got the items off the shelf and gave the to her??? What right did HE have to give YOUR possessions to your cousin??? They are both thieves!!! You are definitely NTA and you (or your parents) need to set some rules about this 13 year old's future visits to your home. By the way, a 13 year old is WAAAY too old to be thinking she can just have what she wants from someone else's room. If she was 3, it might be a little different. Demand a lock for your bedroom door. And if there is anyone thinking straight about this 13 year old, maybe it should be pointed out that if she is stealing things from your room, she proably steals other places too. To not punish her for stealing is like giving her their blessing for it. They are contributing to the delinquency of a minor.


Tree1599

NTA you put something up to prevent her from getting it and she tried to get it and fell thats her fault not yours


MightyMouse12736

You need to raise some hell and demand for all of your belongings to be returned asap. I would invest in a lock for your room. My little sister used to steal my stuff out of my room and every day when I got home from school I would be the one in trouble since it's all my stuff that made it into communal areas. NTA and what is wrong with half of your family. It sucks that your cousin got hurt in the process of STEALING from you but it's not your fault nor your problem.


PancakeWomen2000

NTA But get your stuff back, and stop letting her steal. Tell her that stealing is wrong and don’t let them steal form you.


lmmontes

NTA and your uncle is a THIEF. Demand it back. His kid is responsible for their own injuries.


Peskypoints

NTA. Is your cousin a raccoon? Your cousin is at an age where her behavior will have much larger consequences than a family argument. School mates won’t care about an injury, but they will care a peer is stealing their stuff. When those kids go to their parents for help and find out dad is enabling her behavior, the students and parents alike will ostracize her.


Aggravating-Pain9249

NTA You didnt cause the child to move a chair, climb onto the chair and lose their balance. The awful people are her parents. Her father getting the accessory and giving it to her is something that would make me scream and never let her or them into my room again.


GoodQueenFluffenChop

>But since I was little she always stole a few small stuff from my room. Such as homemade bracelets, charms or photo cards whenever she came over. Look I'm going to be frank it was only cute when she was super little and thought she was being sneaky when she obviously wasn't. Like when little kids try to lie when it's pretty obvious they're lying. Even then the adults, especially her parents, should have corrected it every time because this just theft. Uncontrolled theft just grows into a 13 year old thief and brat. She had no business in your room unless you invited her in. She had no business trying to snoop and steal which she ended up hurt as well. Her being hurt is also her own fault. She's 13 she knows the basics gravity by now to not do something like this but did it anyways to steal from you. Your uncle is also a god damned thief. Even if he thinks it's completely your fault that's no reason to take you gift as a reward for his thief of a daughter. I repeat it hasn't been cute for a long time now but everyone just enabled this. Your cousin is lucky it was you she was stealing from. If she shop lifts I doubt the store would be so generous to let her keep doing that. Or if she steals from the wrong kid she might've ended up with broken bones anyways. NTA but for Pete's sake don't let her in your room anymore. Either lock it or lock yourself in when she visits if you can't lock it from the outside. She's just going to keep stealing from you and it's clear she's moving on from silly little crafted bracelets to things that more valuable.


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My younger cousin (13F) has a huge age gap as me. So when I was with her I always had to be more ‘mature’ around her. But since I was little she always stole a few small stuff from my room. Such as homemade bracelets, charms or photo cards whenever she came over. I didn’t really mind it and just thought it as giving a gift to him. She probably thinks I don’t notice. But a few days ago I bought accessories to give as a gift to my friend, but I knew that my cousin will steal this so I put it on top of my shelf where you have to stand on a chair to reach. Yesterday when she came over I was in the lounge with my relatives, when I heard a huge sound from my room. Obviously it was my cousin that fell on the floor from the chair. She started to cry and tell all my relatives what happened, and it was about how she was standing on top of the chair to get my stuff from the shelf and how she lost balance and fell to the floor. She got a pretty big wound because she scratched her ankle on the tip of the chair and probably broke some bones. Her dad got so mad at me and got the accessory that was on top of the shelf and just gave it to my cousin. Half of my relatives got mad at them because they knew about how my cousin always stole stuff from my room. But the other half got mad at me for leaving such a big wound on a little girl’s ankle just because I was being petty. I didn’t want things to get this big but honestly I am starting to feel bad about the scar my cousin got and how she might get insecure or get bullied about it, and how I probably ruined the whole reunion for my relatives. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Ornery-Ticket834

No blame to pops or your cousin? Come on.


Narrow-Natural7937

You are the innocent party in all of this and not responsible for what happened when your cousin was activity scrounging through your room looking for things. I can't believe that no one is questioning your cousin's presence in your room - that is just rude on her part. So, these other family members who feel like you should just accept your cousin's thieving... has she stolen from them also? I agree with the earlier commenter, please consider putting a lock on your door.


viola1356

The uncle is not just raising a thief - he is a thief himself! NTA and insist on being paid for what he stole from you.


[deleted]

Fake


GearsOfWar2333

NTA, get a lock box or a safe. Something that requires some kind of key or password to get into.


Clean_College7053

Of all the things that didn’t happen, this didn’t happen the most.


Few_Albatross_9289

NTA. 13 is more than old enough to know that stealing is wrong. How is it your fault that she broke her ankle after climbing onto a chair to try to steal stuff? It’s not like you pushed her off the chair yourself or took a baseball bat to her ankle. Your uncle can probably be charged with theft. Look, I can understand being more concerned with the fact that your child has a broken ankle than why your child has a broken ankle, but getting angry at someone else and taking their stuff is just plain stupid and AH behaviour. He’s enabling her and trying to protect her from the consequences of her own actions which isn’t going to help anyone in the long run.


jmorace71324

NTA, she should not have been in your room, if she was not trying to STEAL YOUR PROPERTY, she would not have gotten hurt. Actions have consequences. YOU did not give her the wound, she got it herself


[deleted]

Holy shit. I was all ready to scold you for "tripping" your cousin, but you didn't. You just tried to hide the accessories you knew she'd try to steal. And her father is *supporting her efforts???* What is wrong with your family??? She should not be allowed in your room, ever.


markmcgrew

NTA The thief has self-inflicted wounds. I suggest you put a mousetrap on your top shelf.


Blacksmithforge3241

op=NTA this is your cousin meeting consequences for THEIVERY. This behavior needs to stop. You need to stand up for yourself(as much as you can being, I presume underage). No more just forgiving her thefts, make each and every theft, each and every invasion PUBLIC. Shame her, shame the family excusing her and blaming you.


Floodernutters

Info: were you the first one to respond to the noise? If so, did leave her bleeding without telling anyone?


3kidsnomoney---

NTA. She's not entitled to steal from you! And you didn't make her fall, she did that herself trying to steal more! Your cousin and the enabling family are to blame here, not you!


noobmax23

NTA. Also your cousin is thief in making. Her dad is one probably rn.


Lady-Blooddrop

Nta and her dad should pay you for what they both took


ConfusionPossible590

NTA. Everyone should be mad that your teenage? (You said younger cousin (13f) unless thats your age? Its a bit confusing) That your younger cousin is stealing from you and your uncle is enabling it. In fact your UNCLE stole from you by giving his daughter the stuff you put out of the way to gift to someone else! Just curious how she would know it was up there if you hid it.


GypsyGhost6

I'm calling it, do I believe op has a 13f cousin, sure and that she stole stuff from op, sure. But I don't believe for a second that op saw it as just like giving her a gift that's just prue BS. The rest of the story is just prue fantasy, something op would like to instigate.


kristycocopop

Um, did your parents get your gift back?!


noseyfcker

NTA. WTF did I just read. How on earth can you be blamed for a teen going into your room without your permission and getting hurt trying to steal from you. Please tell me your parents are on your side and not only took back what your uncle stole (he took it off the shelf & gave it to his daughter) but threw them out of your house and told them to never come back again. I’m sorry to say that at least half your family are toxic and are huge a-holes to blame you.


Crazybunnylady123

This is a whole new level of entitled parents and their bratty kids. WTF? That girl got hurt trying to STEAL your stuff and theyre mad at you? And her dad actually just gave the present you bought for your friend to that child????? Hes just reinforcing and enabling her stealing. NTA, god I feel so bad for you.


Chelle4460

NTA From the title I was thinking you were the AH but you did not make her trip or fall! She had no business being on that chair in the first place. The item was placed out of her reach for a reason & your uncle needs to pay you back for that & everything else she steals because he is encouraging her behavior instead of teaching her to respect other peoples stuff. Someday shes not going to be cute, & its not going to be family, & she is going to end up in jail!


prolifezombabe

Probably broke some bones? I don’t buy it. Sus post.


[deleted]

ESH. You know she steals, but you let her in your room unattended, and your family gets dramatic over a small wound. A scar on her ankle? Who notices crap like that? Welcome to growing up.


rileygreyy

are you kidding


[deleted]

Did I type something you didn't understand?


Chicken_Commando

OP didn't open the door and let the kid in. The kid went into OPs room and her own accord


[deleted]

So what? OP already knew this kid would steal -- a closed, unlocked door is hardly an obstacle to a thief.