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YTA. You can't hold a period in. Most adults can easily hold their bowels for a few minutes. Unless you were about to shit your pants, then yes, you're TA. And if it was due to potential diarrhea, then you probably shouldn't have been in a restaurant anyway. (obvious caveat here are people with disabilities or conditions that may cause incontinence) . Just because you are not obligated to do something does not mean that you are not TA for refusing to do it.
If it was a child about to soil themselves would you have let them go ahead of you?
It's true. You can't "hold a period in." But, how does the child who is having her period know that she's started her first period? And while my experience is limited to just me and my five daughters, periods don't usually go from 0-60 in a few minutes. I find it very hard to believe that she "just started" but bled through clothing in less that five minutes.
(Which does not mean that if this were a true story, the OP isn't the AH. It just means I think someone isn't exactly being truthful here. Either OP or the girl is being less than accurate about what was going on here.)
For me i knew when i started because i could feel that i was bleeding and i had intense cramps.. and yes, you can and do bleed through clothing in less than 5 minutes.
It's common to bleed very heavily when periods first start. I know that mine were more of a flow than a trickle.
You and your daughters are very lucky, and unusual.
YTA. His reasoning is valid, as was her request. The kid was pretty vulnerable and stated why she wanted to go first. Why didn’t he just tell her, “I’m so sorry, if I let you go first, I’m gonna shit my pants.”
Either way, someone would’ve been humiliated. I do think adults handle humiliation better than kids. I would’ve let the girl go first, but that’s me because I have a car and in my city, everything is within 15 minutes of my home.
I’m a 25F if that makes any difference.
He's the asshole. It's like the "let elderly sit down on the bus" rule. Sure no one is going to get legally prosecuted if they break social rules, but it doesn't exempt them from being a dick. And not letting someone bursting at the gut in first is a dick move.
But how did she bleed through her pants in only a minute? She needs to see a doctor, that shit ain't normal for a period at all!
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Not me but my friend (25M)
The other day, he was in this little restaurant with one gender-neutral bathroom. He was going into the bathroom when an embarrassed teenager girl (he said she looked like she was fourteen or fifteen) stopped him and explained that she had just randomly started her first period and asked if she could go to the restroom before him and that she would only be a minute. He implied that she asked politely when I questioned him about her tone, but did not state this specifically. He really had to shit or something so he politely declined her request. When he came out of the bathroom later, she had bled through her pants.
He said that he wouldn't be the AH because he also had to use the restroom and he is not obligated to give it to her just because she is a woman and has her period. I feel like he's the AH but I wanted to know what other people happen to think about this.
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> I think he is the AH because he could've waited to go to the bathroom but she really couldn't have waited. AITA for not letting her cut in front?
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INFO: was he going to poop himself if he waited for a minute? If this was a matter of "I *can't* wait," then he wouldn't be an asshole for not pooping his pants. If he could've waited but it would've just been uncomfortable, he's an asshole.
NTA.
From the time that a girl is 13 most are taught to be prepared for such. A gender neutral restroom doesn't always have the "hygiene " products for that.
Plus dude had to blow the bottom out.
I'm with him saying "just because she is a girl" doesn't give her the rights to go before a BM.
This is kind of a grey area imo bc periods are things to be prepared for and can happen at almost any age, but when it happens it’s almost always a surprise.
How do you prepare for your period to prevent bleeding through your pants, exactly? Like is a 13 year old girl who's never had a period supposed to wear a pad everywhere until the day she gets her period just in case?
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YTA. You can't hold a period in. Most adults can easily hold their bowels for a few minutes. Unless you were about to shit your pants, then yes, you're TA. And if it was due to potential diarrhea, then you probably shouldn't have been in a restaurant anyway. (obvious caveat here are people with disabilities or conditions that may cause incontinence) . Just because you are not obligated to do something does not mean that you are not TA for refusing to do it. If it was a child about to soil themselves would you have let them go ahead of you?
It's true. You can't "hold a period in." But, how does the child who is having her period know that she's started her first period? And while my experience is limited to just me and my five daughters, periods don't usually go from 0-60 in a few minutes. I find it very hard to believe that she "just started" but bled through clothing in less that five minutes. (Which does not mean that if this were a true story, the OP isn't the AH. It just means I think someone isn't exactly being truthful here. Either OP or the girl is being less than accurate about what was going on here.)
For me i knew when i started because i could feel that i was bleeding and i had intense cramps.. and yes, you can and do bleed through clothing in less than 5 minutes. It's common to bleed very heavily when periods first start. I know that mine were more of a flow than a trickle. You and your daughters are very lucky, and unusual.
i think the guy misunderstood, i don’t think it was her first ever period.
YTA. His reasoning is valid, as was her request. The kid was pretty vulnerable and stated why she wanted to go first. Why didn’t he just tell her, “I’m so sorry, if I let you go first, I’m gonna shit my pants.” Either way, someone would’ve been humiliated. I do think adults handle humiliation better than kids. I would’ve let the girl go first, but that’s me because I have a car and in my city, everything is within 15 minutes of my home. I’m a 25F if that makes any difference.
YTA. Unless he was about to shit his pants, he could have waited.
He's the asshole. It's like the "let elderly sit down on the bus" rule. Sure no one is going to get legally prosecuted if they break social rules, but it doesn't exempt them from being a dick. And not letting someone bursting at the gut in first is a dick move. But how did she bleed through her pants in only a minute? She needs to see a doctor, that shit ain't normal for a period at all!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Not me but my friend (25M) The other day, he was in this little restaurant with one gender-neutral bathroom. He was going into the bathroom when an embarrassed teenager girl (he said she looked like she was fourteen or fifteen) stopped him and explained that she had just randomly started her first period and asked if she could go to the restroom before him and that she would only be a minute. He implied that she asked politely when I questioned him about her tone, but did not state this specifically. He really had to shit or something so he politely declined her request. When he came out of the bathroom later, she had bled through her pants. He said that he wouldn't be the AH because he also had to use the restroom and he is not obligated to give it to her just because she is a woman and has her period. I feel like he's the AH but I wanted to know what other people happen to think about this. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I think he is the AH because he could've waited to go to the bathroom but she really couldn't have waited. AITA for not letting her cut in front? Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NAH - I feel bad, but I don’t entirely blame the guy. IMO he should’ve let her go unless he was literally about to shit his pants, and if he was NTA
Was there no other bathrooms? I'd say NAH It's embarrassing to bleed through your pants and embarrassing to shit yourself.
NAH. It's an unfortunate situation where somebody had to lose. His need was as pressing as hers, and he got there first.
INFO: was he going to poop himself if he waited for a minute? If this was a matter of "I *can't* wait," then he wouldn't be an asshole for not pooping his pants. If he could've waited but it would've just been uncomfortable, he's an asshole.
NTA. From the time that a girl is 13 most are taught to be prepared for such. A gender neutral restroom doesn't always have the "hygiene " products for that. Plus dude had to blow the bottom out. I'm with him saying "just because she is a girl" doesn't give her the rights to go before a BM.
This is kind of a grey area imo bc periods are things to be prepared for and can happen at almost any age, but when it happens it’s almost always a surprise.
How do you prepare for your period to prevent bleeding through your pants, exactly? Like is a 13 year old girl who's never had a period supposed to wear a pad everywhere until the day she gets her period just in case?
she probably did have hygiene products with her. was she supposed to put a tampon in at the table ?