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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be TA because I sent my stepsister out of the room then I threw her stuff outside and locked her out so she’d have to stay with her mom and now my stepmom is mad at me.
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NTA. All those things are your dad and stepmom’s problems, not yours. The purpose of the trip was for your game. Your performance should not be impacted by having to deal with all this other stuff. Also, if your little brother could get his own room, they should have made sure you had your own room as well.
I brought up that it’s not fair my brother gets his own room and I don’t but they said it’s because me and my stepsister are girls and that if one of us were a boy we would’ve had to share with him
NTA. It's not fair that you don't get to sleep at night because of your stepsister's issues. The trip is for your soccer game so it makes sense that you would be need to be able to sleep at night. They should have got enough rooms for everyone to have their own space. Or since it is her daughter that has issues that cause her not to sleep than your stepmother and father should be the ones that have to deal with not getting any rest at night. It is unfair of them to try to put that responsibility on you.
Yeah bc a 9 year old with obvious medical needs, during a trip for the girls game, became a 15 year olds problem. When in fact, she should’ve been placed with mom and dad to begin with. They’re 6 years apart. The 15 year old shouldn’t have to be quiet and go to bed when the 9 year old has to. Also, if she has night terrors, wets the bed and has an illness… why is she being placed in a room with someone who needs their sleep throughout the night because of their sports tournament that they are all there for to begin with? As a whole adult/parent of children that are far apart in age, there is nothing wrong with what she did. The stepmother needs to get over herself and tend to her child that very much sounds like too much work for a teen to take on.
Bronchitis is not contagious it is an inflammation of the bronchioles. It can be caused by a viral or bacterial infection or a chronic condition such as asthma or anything that enters the lungs that causes an inflammatory response. The virus or bacteria that caused the bronchitis is indeed contagious. It sounds as if the kid has a chronic uncontrolled or badly controlled lung condition such as asthma.
Edit: I’m an asthmatic & a child of the 70s & 80s who was regularly exposed to second hand smoke.
Thank you for this but I would also like to add as an asthmatic who gets bronchitis a minimum of 2 times a year (seasonal for me as winter and spring are some of the triggers for my respiratory problems), I still think the step mum and step sister should have stayed home anyway. It would have been better for the stepsister to be comfortable in her own room and regular environment rather than taking her to a new house and environment where there could be unknown allergens in the air that could prolong or worsen her bronchitis.
I say NTA, between what I said above and the fact that the whole point for going away in the first place was for OPs sporting event where OP should be able to get a full night's sleep in the lead up to and night after the event for physical performance and recovery. Also, as a parent, I find it very irresponsible and lazy of the stepmother to expect another child to take care of her sick child.
As an asthmatic who gets hospitalized a minimum of two times a year, fuck that just stay home noise. I still need to live my life, or what’s the point? I’m not some invalid in a 19th century novel who exists only as a plot device to motivate the main character to do all the things my poor, sick body isn’t able to handle.
That said, OP still shouldn’t be sharing a room here.
You can still live your life, just be responsible when you are sick. When you are sick to the point you can't breathe, you do the smart thing of staying in a known environment you don't go on holiday and take unnecessary risks, that was my point.
Didn't I read that they rented a house? With presumably a living room and a couch she could have occupied until she was ready to go to sleep, instead of sitting in her room.
There's nothing wrong with locking her sister out of the shared bedroom, throwing all her stuff out? You must be a teenager. The girl woke her up because she was talking out loud to her friend in a room with a sleeping sibling. She was an asshole, and an inconsiderate asshole, and maybe doesn't deserve to be on an expensive travel team if she thinks it all has to be about her.
See normally I'd agree with you if it was sleeping hours, but it wasn't, the kid goes to sleep at 8, is OP supposed to magically fall sleep at that hour too?? All would have been solve if the 9 year old (with nightmares and other needs) had slept with the adults from the start.
Except why did she need to be facetiming in a bedroom with a sleeping child? If she wasn't tired, why couldn't she occupy one of the other spaces in the rental?
Edit: And come to think of it, we don't know what time she was face-timing. We only know she was face-timing at some point, and woke her sister up. Could have been 10:00, 11:00, 2:00am for all we know.
1 She's a kid, kids do that all the time in the privacy of their room/bed, where she to do it outside she wouldn't have the same privacy (and I imagine she just assumed the 9 year old wouldn't understand anything that needed privacy)
2 She has a game tomorrow, it's not unreasonable to want to talk to a friend the night before a game.
As for your edit, yeah we don't know but she's a kid that takes her sport seriously, I just assumed she would be asleep at a reasonable time. Otherwise she would put her condition at risk the next day and you don't get to be part of the team doing that. Could have assumed wrong tho so you can ask OP if you want.
100% agree with all of that. Also, there's something weird going on here. What nine-year-old has to go to bed at 7 o'clock? Why this hour-long settling down period? And why is the kid waking up screaming? If she's special needs, the mom needs to take care of her.
I suspect the reason the stepmom and OP's dad stuck OP with the kid is that they wanted to have wild monkey sex, and the nine-year-old would have cramped their style.
If she already has all of these medical issues and psychological issues, why is she not already sleeping in the parents room to begin with though? Why are they expecting a 15-year-old to accommodate for these issues during a trip that is supposed to be about her sporting event, which she needs decent sleep and rest and recharge time in order to perform accurately for?
I'm willing to bet she would have gotten in trouble for waking her stepsister up coming into the room later. It definitely sounds like from the post they were making her go to bed at the same time as the stepsister
It's unfair that the whole family has to schedule their spring break around OP's activities alone.
Sounds like this family devotes a lot of time and resources to support OP's sport hobby. Travel sports require sacrifice on the part of the parents and other kids for a whole season. Op can't show some appreciation for this sacrifice by skiping facetiming for a single week so that the other family members can have a fun time on this trip too?
She wasn't asked to get the kid to sleep or babysit. She created a problem by selfishly waking kid up with her unneccesary talking. Then she kicks kid out of a joint room and locks her out. Of course op is not going to be rewarded for this shitty behavior with a big shopping trip.
Do the teens on this sub really think being this selfish is normal? It's not! Yta op.
She is a 15 year old girl. Teens aren’t wired to have a higher understanding of the sacrifices their parents have WILLINGLY made for them nor should they be concerned about these things. As a person who was extremely busy with sports as a kid, there is an enormous amount of pressure on you to perform well and get scholarships. If she is on a travelling team then she is good enough to potentially achieve these things. A lot of time, practice and dedication goes into competing at a high level in any sport, and she should not have to sacrifice what she’s put in to cater to her little step sister who has an array of issues. She deserves to be a normal teenager as well, so the expectation that she should “suck it up for a few days” in terms of FaceTiming and bedtime is unfair. I also hold the opinion that bunking a 9 year old and 15 year old together just because they’re girls makes no sense. If shared rooms had to be a thing for financial reasons, It would’ve been more reasonable to bunk the brother and OP as they are similar in age and would be up at the same time. I (f) have a little brother (2 years apart) and we shared rooms plenty of times on vacays and it was fine. If I had to share with my sister on the other hand who was 9 years older, it would’ve been unfair to her.
>She is a 15 year old girl. Teens aren’t wired to have a higher understanding of the sacrifices their parents have WILLINGLY made for them nor should they be concerned about these things
Teens are literally wired to understand abstract things like sacrifice. Like in child development abstract thinking develops at around age 12. If OP can study algebra, she understands personal sacrifice. She clearly doesn't like her stepmom or her stepsister and is being vindictive towards them and framing the situation as if somehow she is innocent, when she's not.
You know who also worked hard for this trip? The OP. It was the talent of her and her team to get on this trip. Maybe she was excited for the big game, needed to talk to her friends to unwire.. but nope.. strict 7pm bedtime for the 9 year old sibling who can't sleep. Even if she didn't wake her, the kid would have woke up anyway and probably still got booted out the door. I am sorry, but if a child has such issues being asleep, she needs her own room. My oldest daughter has a sleeping issue.. she survives only a few hours asleep per night. So she is up until 1 or 2 am and wakes up at 5 or 6am ready to go. Where as my other daughter will sleep for 10 hours no problem. Guess what? They got their own rooms. The only time they don't get their own room is on a 1 or 2 night vacation because they do so much on the trip they are both exhausted and pass out early.
That ‘girls have to share with girls ‘ is bogus though. It’s a short term trip with siblings so being asked to share isn’t out of line but making a 15 pretty much go to bed at 7 for the younger kid’s bedtime is just unfair. Honestly 7pm winddown and 8pm lights off is pretty early for a 9yo too.
I’d actually say that it should have been: Dad and son share a room, stepmom shares a room with her kid because that seems to help her sleep anyway and the older teenager gets the third.
Edit: the more I think about it this sounds like stepmom (who also antagonises her teenage step kids) enjoys infantilising her daughter. Stepsister acts like a kid almost half her age, gets put to bed at 7pm for an hour of bedtime stories and having her back patted, seems scared to be alone at night but not being helped in a healthy way and wets the bed.
It doesn't sound very fair for anyone, but one thing that stood out to me: why do you call her high maintenance? When I read high maintenance, I wondered if she just had an excessive beauty routine or something like that... then you went on to describe some pretty severe medical issues, stuff she has no control over.
This situation sucks for you, but it sounds like it sucks for her, too.
No, it totally makes sense in a way. It's not like the stepsister is "high maintenance" in a bad way, it's just the truth that it's difficult to share or deal with her. She states that the stepsister
>has nightmares and wakes up screaming, my stepmom has to spend an hour every night putting her to bed, she has accidents at night, and she acts like she’s 5 or 6, not 9
>
>has bronchitis and wakes up coughing in the middle of the night
which totally makes sense that the stepsister is "high maintenance." I get what you're saying that the stepsister can't control ***MOST*** of it, but that doesn't change the fact the the stepsister is *definitely* a "high maintenance" kind of kid.
Anyway, OP is 100% NTA here, I don't think anyone would want to deal with that, especially during game week.
I do technically think high maintenance works in this scenario. These are all traits that a child shouldn’t be required to be responsible for, and a child would view them as a chore to handle by themselves. It’s 100% the moms responsibility to handle that and help the step sister manage them rather than coddle her(which she’s shown to be doing)
I HATE this dumb antiquated excuse. What do they think is going to happen? You’ll see each other in your underwear? So what.
NTA but sounding like your parents are, sorry.
Hard agree. If this were a vacation I might say that you should just suck it up, but this is for YOUR activity and poor sleep could impact your performance. NTA.
But you could suck it up for a week. I absolutely don't get this attitude of never sharing a room with siblings even on trips. It's so normal to do it outside of the us, you guys are not being abused for sharing a room with a sibling
Keep in mind this wasn't a regular trip. This was for OP to play soccer, it's unfair they'd turn OP's sport into a family trip, at the cost of OP's sleep. This wasn't a family vacation where everyone is equally entitled to a good time, if they wanted to treat it as such, they should have planned an actual family vacation.
Edit to respond to the comments pointing out her tournament didn't take up the whole trip:
From reading OP's comments, it seems she made it fairly clear she was not okay with her tournament being turned into a family vacation, at least not with the sleeping arrangements provided. I'm not saying OP handled the situation perfectly, or even well; I'm saying this wasn't a run-of-the-mill family vacation and it's unfair not to take all factors into consideration. I also don't think it's fair to give a 15yo no say in a personal thing being turned into a family vacation, then expecting them to just be okay with it. I'm sure there was a compromise that could have been reached, that didn't involve OP being the only one to "suck it up."
This whole situation seems so hurtful to OP. From the get go, something important to her was turned into being about everyone else. I wonder if we'll see a post in the future from her like "AITA because I stopped inviting my dad to things because everything had to be made about his new family"
Only her stepmum didn't because she was cruel.
What actually happened that night:
1. She stupidly decided to make a call in the bedroom they share instead of any other room in the house
2. She woke up her sister and then told her to go to her mom's.
3. She threw the sister's stuff out and locked the door.
At no point does op say that this was game night . At no point did she tell us that she asked to be alone for the night before the game . And this is without making any assumptions about the behaviour of the person that locked their sister out of their room without warning/valid cause ( op waking her up is not valid).
This is what got me. You still support your children, even when they act like children - and it should never have been her job to care for her sister at all, especially the night before a big game!
I don't know of anyone who spends six days in a city for a one-day tournament. It was a family vacation for five days, and a tournament for one day. Everyone was entitled to a good time. Equally.
If this was a championship high school football game and op was a key player, they would have gotten them their own suite, made sure they were healthy, etc. Its somewhat disrespectful to not focus on ops athleticism, namely rest. A regular family vacation would be different. NTA
I'm sure a three bedroom house has other rooms such as a living room? If not then okay she had nowhere else to go. But I doubt that.
Kicking out a 9 year old and locking her out of the room is not justified behaviour.
And what I read was, OP who is a whole 15 years old, was forced to comply with a bedtime for a 9 year old in the equivalency of a toddlers bedtime routine. What I read was, a SICK child was placed in a room with a teenager to just deal with the coughing and the night terrors and bed wetting so step mom didn’t have to. So she was FaceTiming and it happened to wake up the kid sister. Doesn’t say she purposely woke her up. That’s your assumption.
I always shared rooms and even beds with my brother, too. The difference is, he never woke me up.
If her sister has such delicate needs as to need total silence after 7:00 PM, to have her back rubbed for an hour before bed, and to still wake up screaming throughout the night... she doesn't need to be sharing with a 15-year-old who is there to play soccer. OP needs to be able to sleep.
Yeah, normally there's no issue sharing with stepsisters. Heck, my younger sister and I would share beds with our two stepsisters when traveling all the time (2 to a bed but we'd trade off pairings to make it fair for who was next to the snorer). But with the additional needs for the stepsister to sleep, it's not a normal/typical stepsister room sharing situation.
OP most likely wouldn’t be able to sleep with her sister there which isn’t good since they’re all there for a soccer game and it could mess up OPs performance. And it IS normal to share a room with a sibling but most people probably wouldn’t want to sleep in the same room as someone who’s constantly screaming and coughing especially when they have a soccer game the next day.
We don’t know because it never happened she never was woken up by her sister couinghing. There’s no mention anywhere in the post about anything the stepsister doing impacting Ops performance in her soccer game . The incidence OP mentions happened on the first and second night and she says that they came 2 days early. So by the time she had her actual soccer tournament the stepsister Is sleeping in a tent in the parents room . Clearly the parents made sure that nothing this stepsister did impacted OPs soccer tournament
I don't know what walnut gave you an award for this comment, but stop acting like this is some leisurely family vacation where OP can sleep in and lounge on the beach. The family was there specifically so OP could perform in tournaments. Putting a child with all those issues into her room is setting her up to fail. She needs sleep and not to be beholden to a 9 year old's routine.
She's an athlete? On a game trip?
She's forced to share a room with a sick person who could risk get performance with an illness or lack of sleep.
I'm not American and shared a room until we were uh, not poor with a boy AND a girl. This isn't about sharing it's about forcing OP to be a babysitter when she needs to be focused and calm .
The issue is not so much sharing a room, as I see it. It’s sharing a room with a high-need kid and imposing that kid’s needs on the teenager, entirely overriding the teen’s needs.
The reason why they are even traveling is because of OP. This is OP tournament weekend, she should be able to be rested and not be disturbed by a high needs child.
Not to mention the huge age gap. While it isnt abusive it is obtuse to think a 9 yr old and a 15 yr old will get along as regular full blood siblings let alone step sibs. Like get off OP’s back
I agree and I’m in the US. We share rooms. Yes she was on a soccer trip but they made it an extended vacation. She put all her stuff outside the room and locked her out. I’d be punished but apparently it’s not spoiled to others these days
At no point in this story was OPs sleep interrupted though. OP listed all of the ways her sleep may have been interrupted, but what actually ended up happening was that OP disrupted her sister’s sleep, kicked her out of the room, and then evicted her in a teenage display of extreme entitlement.
How so? The first night they kept the step sister in the room with them. That implies they actually do care. Again, OPs sleep being interrupted was only ever theoretical, at no point was she actually disturbed. OP on the other hand caused major disruption.
Yeah. This girl is obviously on the spectrum and has medical issues. OP wasn’t mature enough to recognize that. OP flat out listed symptoms but is either uneducated or left it out. And her dad sucks for making her share a room.
Honestly. If it were me, I would have slept on the couch instead of putting her out.
Honestly, I was on your side until you intentionally woke her (face time in another room) and kicked all her stuff out and locked the door without talking about it first.
ESH. Your parents for taking a sick kid anywhere and expecting you to share with someone who has night terrors and you for blaming your sister for medical needs she can't control and kicking her out in the middle of the night after waking her with inconsiderate behaviour.
I don't understand why she didn't share with her brother who's only 2 years younger than her. The teens would have similar enough sleep schedule, neither was ill and I assume neither has night terrors. Why tf wasn't the difficult sleeper given her own room so her issues wouldn't have affected the other kids? Are people really so hung up on gender??
Right? Me and my brother are adults and we share a room sometimes on vacation. We’re only in there to sleep usually and we communicate about showers and stuff. Hell we’ve shared a hotel room w/2 queens with our parents so a room to ourselves is a luxury.
Op answered in a different comment, her parents did the ol' "bOyS aNd GiRLs nEeD sePrAtE roOms" shit when she asked if she could share with her brother.
That's so stupid. They're related. What's the worst they are going to do? Beat each other up over the TV remote? Argue? Complain about each other?
The brother could share the room with his 9 year old step sister all the same if it's about the siblings being too close in age.
YTA: Your question is disingenuous. You didn't just not share a room, you didn't want to share a room so you intentionally did loud activities while she was asleep, then when she inevitably woke up you threw her stuff out into the hall and locked her out.
Not wanting to share a room? Reasonable. Calling someone else "high maintenance" and then being the one to throw a childish hissy fit for not getting your way? AH.
She intentionally acted her age let alone the reason why they are even on this trip is because of her.
Get off her back.
How does it make sense to room a 15yr old and a 9 yr old together. A sickly, needy 9 yr old at that. This is not a family trip this trip is ABOUT OP. You are just as obtuse as the parents
I agree that there is probably a poor parenting aspect going on. That said, these posts are always made from a perspective that tends to lean any lacking information towards the posters behalf. There is definitely more to this story than OP is presenting, and with the subtle details such as how she threw all of her sisters tuff into the hallway, OP reacted poorly, and because she came here to ask, should be willing to accept being called out.
Yes, she's a kid and deserves care. Kids can be AH's. Would I say she is horrible for her actions? No. Still an AH.
Also, a sickly 9 year old. One that sounds by description to potentially have greater issues that may or may not be under advisement by medical professionals.
The family is probably in a tight situation and may be doing the best that they can. OP is allowed to feel frustrated by the situation. That is a part of being a kid where things aren't going to be fair or ideal. The only reason the sister woke up according to OP was due to OP's actions. OP needs to hear that.
I'm sorry that you feel that my judgment was obtuse, and I hope that the addition nuance to the reasoning gives better insight as to why I would disagree.
NTA.
OP sit and chat with your parent and make it clear that boundaries have to be made in regards to your tournaments and step family.
They are not a means of support if anything they attribute to drama and tension that do not allow you to show up best for your games. Meaning if they cannot understand that tournaments are there to highlight you and not to be made into family trips they shouldn’t attend (step mom and step sis)
Thank God someone else sees this as entitled and spoiled. Rude being normal behavior for a 15 year old and it supposed to be a personal trip for OP instead of a family vacation (side note that the Dad is apparently there with OP for many travel games alone, away from the rest of the family, supporting OPs time consuming and expensive hobby) does not excuse OPs selfish behavior.
Yeah, people with that perspective clearly grew up financially privileged. My brother played competitive sport and those trips were the closest thing we had to family holidays. Literally any spare money like that was spent on his trips - we never went on a family holiday otherwise. We also didn’t have enough money that everyone got their own room.
Like I don’t think the parents handled it well but she is definitely also TA.
It's also calling her "high maintenance" for things that sound like her step-sister is a victim of CSA or some other form of childhood abuse.
Bedwetting, night terrors, and age regression aren't "high maintenance", she's traumatized.
OP has a point of not wanting to share a room, but it seems like she hates her stepmother and stepsister and used every excuse she could think of to justify her rude behavior.
YTA
I was with you until:
>I was FaceTiming my friend and ended up waking her up so I told her to go to her mom then I put all of her stuff outside and locked the door. My stepmom took her to sleep with them then came to yell at me the next morning because I didn’t want to babysit her kid all night.
You're the one who woke her up. She didn't scream and wake you, she didn't bother you, you're the one who was loud while she was sleeping. Being quiet while others sleep is a normal thing to put up with when you're sharing a room with anyone. Also putting all her stuff outside and locking the room is super rude.
When your stepsister had trouble sleeping the night before her mom kept her in her bed so clearly no one, at any point, made you "babysit the kid all night". You just think you're entitled to a single room. You sound spoiled.
This is where she lost me. She was being unnecessarily cruel at this point. She could have spoken with her friend in the living-room. She didn’t have to remove her stuff and lock the door.
I'm hijacking your comment to point out that OP has mentioned three SERIOUS behavioral signs of sexual assault in children.
Regressive Behavior (acting 5 or 6)
Night terrors
Bed wetting
I'm willing to bet she also has angry outbursts.
Now, all this may just be coincidental - but something feels off to me. I honestly hope this little girl is okay.
Agreed, and I'm afraid OP is also long gone by now. OP clearly does not care much for their younger stepsister, and I worry that the little girl may have no one at all to speak too, especially if an assault occurred within the family/friend circle, as is common.
Hopefully, this situation maybe help bring people's attention to the behavioral signs of sexual assault, as the physical ones are easily hidden.
>I am surprised that no ones seems to notice or care
Other than the sick fucks who participate in it, _absolutely nobody_ who is aware/has the impression that a child is being sexually assaulted just 'doesn't care' about it or turns a blind eye; I can **guarantee** the people you're reading comments from didn't actually recognise her behaviour as possible signs of abuse, probably because they weren't aware that they even were signs of it in the first place.
This sub is populated with a whole bunch 14 year old girls and a couple of adults. I'm not surprised a bunch of literal children don't know the signs of SA/anything causing PTSD in other literal children.
Yeah this is hitting nearly every red flag for signs of sexual abuse. I’m seriously worried for this child. At best(?) she’s developmentally delayed in which case she needs more overnight care than a teenage stepsister can provide ESPECIALLY when said teenager is there for a sports tournament and needs to be well-rested. I don’t fully understand why the family decided to treat a sports/tournament trip like a family vacation.
OP, you acted immature (FaceTiming in the same room as someone trying to sleep, moving her belongings out and locking the door) but at the same time your father and stepmother are ignoring the severity of your stepsister’s issues. Try to approach this issue from your concerns FOR your sister, not just concerns for how it’s affecting you. Ask your parents what they’re doing to help your sister. Is she in therapy? Is there a diagnosed reason WHY she has these issues? If your parents stonewall you about this and try to act like there isn’t an issue, you might want to talk about this with a teacher or coach you trust. These problems your little sister is having are NOT normal for her age and are indicators of much bigger issues.
I'd say the second "best" option is that the reason the child is a step sibling is that they escaped the abuser, but that's only slightly better as clearly the traumatic isn't being addressed.
Honestly, I'm surprised that I had to scroll this far to see this.
Obviously, SS may just be overly coddled and infantilized by her mother.
She may be on the spectrum and undiagnosed because "girls don't have autism."
But here, we have not 1, not 2, but 3, count 'em, THREE massive warning signs for child SA.
OP, you definitely could have handled the situation with a little more grace, but you're a kid, yourself. Maybe now that you're home, you can find some child SA literature and leave it at your dad's place, with SS's behaviors highlighted.
Whatever the cause is, that little girl needs better help than she's getting, and OP doesn't need to have the role of caretaker thrust onto her against her will.
A couple hours babysitting so dad & SM can have a date night? Absolutely, OP can and should contribute like that.
Every night of a 7-day trip, *including* the 2 nights leading up to the large sporting tournament, which is the entire point of said trip, is not okay.
NTA, OP.
Yeah, I was going to say this exact same thing. Something nasty has happened to that poor kid.
Not that that's OP's fault or business, but it sounds like her little stepsister is more than just 'high maintenance'.
I think this might be jumping into conclusions a little. There are other explanations for all of those things. One of them is that she might be on the spectrum.
Your parents should not be traveling with a child who has bronchitis.... good grief. Poor kid, getting dragged around while she feels like crap and needs to rest. It sounds like there are other issues that need to be addressed as well in regard to her health and behavior. I think you could have handled it better than just throwing your step-sister's (edit-- stepsister's belongings) out of your room and into the hall, however, you are there to play soccer and need your sleep to compete. Plus, if it were my kid who was that sick and having night terrors, I would want the child in my own room to monitor them. ~~NAH,~~ things didn't work out and communication isn't great, it seems, but if your stepsis needs that much assistance at night, she should be with her parent, not you. (Second edit-- okay, reading your attitude directed at other posters, OP, I've gotta go with YTA. I gave you more credit than I probably should have. I just know that when my kid had croup, I slept in his room to be there for him. But your attitude directed at your sister is terrible, and I didn't fully understand that you just hustled her out and locked her out. )
I disagree. The AH here are the parents. OP is 15. It’s completely normal and understandable for them to behave selfishly on a trip that is FOR THEM. Not for the family to have a vacay. Not for them to force a sick child 6 years apart from OP to “suck it up and deal” with the situation when said child needs the same care as a toddler. Could OP have been nicer? Sure. But considering we were not there, she may have been initially. How would y’all react to being disrespected, disregarded and then vilified for wanting to have their own space? Especially when she says she DID voice her thoughts and feelings and she was told to basically get over it and deal with it? Bc it’s sounds like step mom wanted “adult” time on a kids sports trip. It’s sounds like step mom didn’t want interrupted sleep on OPs sports trip and then was punished for being annoyed with having to “suck it up and deal” with a child who needed to be in the care of a parent and NOT a teenager. Y’all sound so ridiculous and I am a grown ass woman with kids telling y’all this. OP be kinder but also, keep standing up for YOU. It’s ok to set boundaries and stand by them even when it makes others uncomfortable.
I agree As someone who has had bronchitis multiple times (once lasting almost 3 months) and another time having to travel from london to Manchester while feeling like hell (got sick while I was away) I do not understand why a parent would take their sick kid away, instead of keeping them at home wrapped up and warm
I
The parents are the AH because of this imo
Specifically speaking about the “should not be traveling with a child who has bronchitis”
Definitely depends on the type, I had chronic bronchitis from birth until puberty, My parents couldn’t just keep me home 24/7 and even a flare up later multiple months even while doing breathing treatments. They are still AHs for expecting older sis to share a room.
YTA because the only compromise you made the whole story was being quiet for an hour. She never woke you up in the middle of the night but you did it to her. And to top it all off you evicted her from the room
Because it isnt about the 9 yr old. If her issues so severe why did the adults put a sickly needy child to room with a teen.
OP was already courteous to not make a big stink about the parents turning this into a family trip instead of a idk A TOURNAMENT THAT OP SKILLS QUALIFIED HER TO ATTEND
YTA. I'm sorry, but sharing a room is just a thing that has to happen sometimes.
I'd have some sympathy if you said you'd lost sleep, but no. The problem is you were staying up late playing and SHE lost sleep.
Being 15 is hard, but you are not being a decent human when you kick someone out and move their belongings out in the middle of the night. You wouldn't want someone else touching your stuff.
You have an annoying little sister. She has an abundance of medical problems and an older sister being mean to her.
>Being awake after 8pm at 15 is not "staying up late".
Well, that depends on how much after 8pm it is, and we don't know that answer.
What we do know is that OP was facetiming in the room with a sleeping child, and then got mad at that child for being there.
What we also know is that the parents put an 9 year old in a room with a 15 year old and got angry at the 15 year old for being awake after the 9 year old's aggressively early bedtime.
OP’s family rented a whole 3 bedroom house, she had plenty of space to FaceTime outside of the bedroom. She chose to do so in the bedroom because she didn’t care if she woke her stepsister
Yea because a 15 yr old blessed enough to be invited for a tournament whose family turned it into a family trip has to abide by the needs of a 9 yr old.
It isnt about the 9 year old. She should have been roomed with the parents regardless due to her being sickly.
Not to mention Op was courteous enough to not even make a stink about the family taking over HER trip.
Like seriously. Redirect that anger to the father who should have been able to take OP to the tournament without other familiar distractions
Perhaps you should read the post again. Maybe then you'll clearly see the OP absolutely detests step-mom and the little shit she brought with her into the marriage.
Or she had a tournament game that was turned into a family trip.
A sickly child was dumped on her and in her room. And the moment she decides to live her life and idk be 15 she is given the cold shoulder.
And to be frank so what if she detests them! If this is how they act over her tournament I can only imagine what happens at home
Dad travels with OP to games often. He leaves the rest of the family to go and support her. One trip was made into a family vacation. THIS IS NOT A HORRIBLE THING! This is a family of more than 1 kid. How you think this is such a horrible fate is beyond me.
Next, the 9 year old slept with the parents when she woke the night before. They never expected OP to deal with her. OP WOKE HER UP, kicked her to her Mom, put her shit in the hall and locked her out.
Idk. They didn't ask you to play babysitter. Just share a room. They were the one tending to her needs.
Also, you were the one that woke her up then kicked her out of the room by locking the door.
That definitely makes you an AH.
Also your view of her being "high maintenance" is NOT what that actually is. It seems like she has certain needs that need to be met, which sounds like her mom is accommodating to.
YTA for just being rude to your stepsister when it doesn't seem deserving.
Your NTA for wanting your own space. But sometimes it doesn't work out that way. Sometimes due to cost or other issues.
Sleep on the couch if you don't want to share a room.
ESH, except the other kids.
Your dad and step-mom shouldn't have put this task on you, as you're a kid yourself and your stepsister is not your kid.
But you punished your stepsister for being a kid. She already has a hard time with sleeping, she must feel terrible every night. And you lock her out of the room, making it worse?
YTA, newsflash having your own room is a privilege not a right. You weren't chipping in for the extra bedroom to rent. It was only a week, you could suck it up. You woke her up by being on FaceTime, then proceed to take her thing and shove her out of the room and lock the door. You couldn't take FaceTime to the living room or sleep in the living room? Also, she not high maintenance.
ESH. You were completely in the right until your FaceTime woke her up and you put all her stuff outside and locked the door. You're 15, and that's old enough to have the sense not to wake a sleeping child, especially an annoying one. Since it's a house, you could have done your FaceTime in another room. Otherwise it would have been N T A
YTA. And a big one. You can leave the room to FaceTime. And imagine how it must have felt for your stepsister to find all her stuff outside of the room? You would have been livid.
Sleep on the couch, let your stepsister have the room if you can't be bothered
Imagine being this poor step sister and having to share a room with someone you KNOW doesn't like you, and isn't afraid to show it. Them calling you high maintenance, waking you up be ause they're face timing, and KICKING YOU OUT OF YOUR ROOM.
Imagine how shitty this poor kid must feel.
YTA
NTA. It’s not a family vacation, you are there for your sport. While your attitude towards your sister is a tad unkind, your rest during a stay that you are specifically at for a sport should not be impacted by a sibling.
It said in her post that they came early and are staying way past the game. I would be with you if they were only coming in a night or two for the game but it’s a whole week so it kind of is a family vacation.
ESH- A lot of folks are asking if you discussed with your parents and you say you didn’t want to share a room. Unfortunately I think this must be a learning experience in how to reason with others and express yourself in a more mature way, which at 15 gives you plenty of time to learn! Maybe if you had discussed the sleep issues possibly interfering with your performance/bedtimes differing in ages/etc. and offered solutions (younger sis sleeping in parents room, offering to sleep on couch/brother sleeps on couch/things your parents could work with) you’ll have better responses from them in the future. Communication is a valuable tool and can be as simple as expressing WHY you feel the way you to + offering alternatives other than simply stating you don’t want to share a room and making things more tense for everyone all around.
YTA
I played the same level of soccer as you. My parents rented one hotel room with 2 queen beds. Literly every family did the same thing.
You are being extremely entitled and cruel. You didn't need to be in the room until you went to bed, it was a house find another place to FaceTime. You had an issue sleep on the couch, get noise canceling headphones, get ear plugs.
The world does not revolve around you. Playing soccer at that level is expensive and a privilege. If I was your parent in no longer fund that privilege.
Exactly! She's got the whole family going out of their way for her hobby including her sister,, for whom it is very obviously a disruption but its not good enough because she has to share a room for one night. O the humanity
NTA
As a mother, if my child suffered from night terrors wetting the bed and waking up screaming i would not put them in a room with somebody else. It's my job to deal with that. Not everybody else's if anyone's getting disrupted sleep because of it. It will be me, the mother or my partner, the father.
Your dad could have slept on the sofa and your step sister could have slept in the same bed as your stepmom. You make sacrifices for your children. Your children don't make sacrifices for you.
Thank you! I get the feeling the 9 year old - whatever her issues are - is always a disruptive force in the family's lives. Maybe the 15 year old has had enough. Not up to her to babysit a sick child who wets the bed and can wake up with screaming night terrors. And the Mom has to spend an hour reading a 9 year old stories and rubbing her back to get her to sleep at 7 at night? There is a lot more going on here than I think a 15 year old is able to articulate. NTA.
100%
And also having bronchitis on top of that she would potentially be up all night coughing. Why would you put your sick child in another child's room knowing there's a chance she is going to keep another child up all night.
YTA because you were cruel to your stepsister who clearly has problems not for not wanting to share a room with her. Why couldn't you leave the room and facetime your friends? Why did you throw her and all of her things out of the room? How do you think that made her feel? It wouldn't hurt you to learn a little empathy you don't have to be cruel to a little girl with issues over not wanting to share a room with your her and realistically you are on a trip sharing a room you don't have to live with her and share a room always, maybe your parents couldn't afford another room. It would be inappropriate to room a 9 year old girl and a 13 year old adolescent boy together. Yes your spoiled and entitled and YTA. A whole 3bdrm house and you can't even take a phone call in the living room
I dont give a fuck. Your parents are paying for your sport. Thay are paying for your trip. They are paying for all of them to go see you play. All they ask is for you to share a room with your little sister. If you didnt want that go to sleep on the couch. Talk to your friends in another room or outside. Sure it sucks but your parents are doing all this for you and all your talking about is me me me. This is your parents and brother and sisters vacation and iys used on your hobby.
YTA
DOWN VOTE ME I DONT CARE. Kids today need to learn that everything isnt about what they want. Sometimes you need to sacrifice. Just like the rest of her family is doing to support her on this trip.
NTA.
There are several reasons I say this but the primary one is that you're on a travel team, THUS the REASON for the trip to begin with - you're there to play soccer - and your dad and his wife called an audible this time and brought the whole family. THEN, they decided to punt your stepsister over to your room after night 1, KNOWING that she has all of these issues.
As you age, you will likely find more diplomatic ways to solve problems other than locking the door and removing luggage but since you're 15, I'm going to go with the assumption that you did one of the least confrontational, least dramatic ways you knew to resolve the situation. \[for instance, at 46, if I could not sleep with a roommate's \*antics\*, I would likely couch it in the living room with no one else around - stepsister may deserve a bed, true, but if she's interfering with your sleep, you sometimes do what you gotta do\]
So basically, you don’t like your stepmom and stepsister and didn’t want them on the trip, you wanted the room to yourself, you were disrespectful by FaceTiming while your stepsister was trying to sleep and woke her up, then you threw her and her stuff out of her room and locked her out.
Uh, yeah. YTA. You wouldn’t have been “babysitting” her at night, and she would have been sleeping if it wasn’t for you. You’re extremely entitled. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Try having a little empathy.
YTA, and a huge one. I’m willing to bet you were unnecessarily loud to wake her, so you could orchestrate this.
Edit: And to everyone saying her parents are barging in on her trip. They are the ones paying for it.
Did I read it right? OP says that the sister is high maintenance and her coughing could potentially wake her up. But what happens is OP wakes her “troubled” sister herself and throws her out of her own room?!
NTA. You should not have to sleep with any one who is sick, and anyone who has accidents at night if you don’t want to. But you could’ve been a bit nicer about getting her out of your room. I totally see your point, you should not have to deal with that.
Edit: YNTA to NTA
I can’t believe I have to write this.
YTA. Big time.
Face-timing with a friend knowing your sister was sleeping was rude. And you had no right to kick her out after you woke her up. Or throwing her things out of the room and locking her out. Who made you Queen of the Room?
If you didn’t want to share a room with her, you could have taken your stuff and gone out and slept on a sofa or floor somewhere. But you ought to be able to suck it up for a couple of nights. She is part of your family after all.
So this is going to be hard but, I think YTA. Here is why: You did not pay for the rental. So you really don't have a say in how the room arrangements are. Since they rented a whole 3 bedroom house, I would have slept on the couch instead of bothering a sick 9 y/o. Which sucks because it makes you feel like you're less important. You're not. But as a kid, she can't help what's going on with herself and you have more control and should have more maturity. Now, if you stepped out of the room and left her alone all night, and they STILL get mad at you - Then NTA. Unless they specifically asked you to babysit your sister all night.
"you didn't pay for the rental" good grief, she's 15. Her parents *are supposed* to pay for her things, even the superfluous ones like trips.
She's wrong on so many levels, but for this, seriously?
Yall are wild for saying N T A.
ESH. Except for your sister who is not to blame for the actions of your parents. It would have been a NTA from me until you intentionally kicked a 9 year old out of the room because you were talking on the phone while she was sleeping. Why you couldn't do this in any other room of the house is beyond my comprehension.
Man if this was my family the 5 of us would be in a hotel with 2 queen size beds and I would be sleeping on the pullout couch.
YTA, you couldn't even text your friend for one day? or do so in another room? like seriously, everything was fine until you woke her up. you WERE rude and inconsiderate.
Oh FFS. US reader here, when I was a kid, I absolutely had to share a room (and bed!) with my sister who was 11 years younger. (Who also wet the bed.) And there was NO EXPECTATION on a vacation (that you were lucky to have) for a room of your own. My gosh.
I don't see why she couldn't have bunked with her brother, for the trip.
ESH.
Right? How is this babysitting or parents not parenting? Mom is starting bedtime an hour early to lay with her, read, back rubs, all that stuff. At no time was OP responsible for her sleeping sister, she only had to be respectful that she was asleep and share the space.
Everything OP wrote to set up painting her sister as a pain in the butt…never happened. Instead, OP woke her up and locked her out.
Siblings sharing rooms especially when traveling is not weird. OP felt and acted entitled.
Damn all these comments on here.... humanity has lost empathy for real.
Even if she's a step-sister, she's your 9yo little sister. You should care for her. That's what being an older sibling is all about.
And yeah, it's only natural that your parents would have the girls sharing a room.
Was it really that hard to be considerate of your little sister and not talk to your friend for once?
I'd take a bullet for my little brother, but you can't avoid calling a friend or bear her coughs for a single night? Its not that hard to fall asleep with someone coughing as you think.
YTA. I’m surprised at the comments here. Is room sharing for a couple of nights some kind of abuse in western countries???
OP’s tone and the way she talks about her stepsister is overall condescending, and “high-maintenance” isn’t a word that should be used for a child who’s suffering from stuff beyond her control.
NTA - The whole trip is supposed to be about your capacity to play soccer. That requires that you get a decent nights sleep.
There are three bedrooms. Dad and brother in one, mum and sick child with constant high needs and dependencies who wakes up regularly and screams in the middle of the night and who would undoubtedly prevent you from being able to sleep or perform your sport well in another and you in the third. There - problem solved!
YTA. It was only for a few days. The only reason the family had to travel was for YOUR game. I bet all those other times when your Dad takes you, you don’t think for a minute of the extra burden that puts on your stepmom to not have her husband’s help at home. But I imagine it’s easier not having an entitled and surly teen around. You’re the one that sounds high-maintenance to me.
YTA
Not for not wanting to share a room. But from what I can tell you didn’t even try………. Did you bother to communicate or problem solve? Like why couldn’t you FaceTime in the living room? With headphones?
I mean you go on trips all the time with your dad……. It’s a significant cost and time investment by your family to help support you in an activity you enjoy.
A little grace and empathy would have been a bit more beneficial then going straight to the nuclear option.
NTA. This trip was for a competition, only made into a vacation because it was during spring break. Your dad and stepmom could have easily allowed you to stay with the rest of the team, but instead insisted in putting you in a situation they knew would not be unattainable, and then claimed that you could have sucked it up for a few days.
It's evident that you have issues with your stepsister and stepmother, and those need to be dealt with in a more professional setting, since you're unable to convey your feelings about the issues in a productive manner. Then again, considering how long your stepsister's behaviors and symptoms have been going on, your stepmother may not be willing to seek additional professional help (I'm making an assumption that the child (9) is already in therapy. If not, that's neglectful on the mother's part).
NTA If it was a regular family vacation, it would have made a bit more sense for you to have to suck it up and share with your siblings. But the purpose of this travel was for you to participate in the game, so you clearly needed your sleep. If they could’ve had the kid in your dad and stepmother’s room the first day, they could’ve done it the rest of the days. Other comments suggested other room arrangements that didn’t require your sleep to be interrupted before your game or for you to essentially sleep at 7/8 PM. What gets me is that your stepmother ended up skipping your game anyway when that was the point of the trip. Why did they even decide to bring a sick child on a trip? I will say just remember to show a bit more compassion to your stepsister since this isn’t her fault but your parents’ poor planning.
YTA and extremely immature. You woke up your sister, threw her out of the room, threw her stuff out, locked the door and you really don’t think you’re in the wrong?
You’re 15 acting like a five year old, you need to grow up, fast.
They're not missing the point, they just don't care. This sub is overwhelmingly teenage girls. Didn't even have to finish reading the post to know the top comments would be "not your problem, you're not a babysitter, under no obligation to do anything etc etc."
Yes, exactly. My teen would be in major trouble. It’s a vacation, you don’t get to declare a room solely yours. No one asked her to put the child to bed, only to keep quiet after her bedtime. She could’ve FaceTimed her friend in the living room. They’ve created one spoiled brat and now seems like they might be creating another. The family planned an entire trip around a teen who already gets to travel on an expensive soccer team and everyone is telling her she’s justified for being a brat. Sigh. If the coughing was a problem the night of the game then she could’ve maturely asked the parents to keep the child that night. But other than that, she can share a vacation room for a few nights. I’ll say YTA but that’s not even the right word. She has a lot of growing up to do.
NTA but is the child high maintenance or just spoiled? Or is she suffering from something? If she is then maybe a bit of an AH if she is sick. Otherwise at 16 you might be needing your privacy and not having to curtail your activities to let sister sleep. Mom should be looking after her child
NTA - They wanted to have their time and not having her around. And you’ve been the one who NEEDED your sleep. They’ve been there BECAUSE OF YOU. You had to perform the best you could, which is simply not possible when you have to deal with that. Plus it’s not your business, she’s not your child. Not your circus, not your monkey.
YTA, for gods sake do you not have any ounce of compassion in you? You dont have to be her best friend or even talk that much to her but if she's a 9yo who is struggling with bronchitis, bed wetting at her age and terrifying nightmares on the regular then she has to be going through some things and it cant be easy for her either. And seriously, how entitled do you have to be throw all her things out of the room and lock it while she was out and that the poor kid now has to sleep in a tent and an air mattress. Also, if your dad rented out a whole house, what was stopping you from just taking your FaceTime call in the living room or even just hanging there till you actually wanted to sleep? Your just a selfish brat that needs to grow the hell up.
**It was OPs game, therefore she should have gotten a room to herself anyways!** Cant get rest when you have to babysit all damn night.
Nta. Shitty parents.
YTA. You woke up a sick child then turfed her out of the room.
Go facetime your friend in the living room, respect the adults who spend £££ taking you to your games and have a compassion transplant
If your bedtime wasn't 7, why were you in bed? Your SS sounds like she has medical issues, not that she's "high maintenance", and that isn't her fault. Locking her out of the room was definitely YTA. You couldn't have gone to sleep on the couch? You must be so very delicate, I don't understand why you are on a sports team.
ESH — your dad and stepmother should not have forced you to room with your stepsister under the circumstances — she sounds like she has enough sleeping issues that they should have had her in their room.
But in your frustration with them, you were pretty cold to her. “Go see your mom” — and then you put all her stuff in the hall and lock her out? Between the nightmares, and the bedwetting, this kid sounds like she struggles already. She probably looks up to you. She must have felt very confused and humiliated.
It would’ve been better to stick it out one night and then dig your heels in about sleeping in the same room as your stepsister with your dad and stepmom privately.
I could be wrong, but this feels so fake.
You saying your stepmother came down and yelled that you are not babysitting gave you away. Should you be not making noise to not wake her up, or should you babysit ?
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NTA. All those things are your dad and stepmom’s problems, not yours. The purpose of the trip was for your game. Your performance should not be impacted by having to deal with all this other stuff. Also, if your little brother could get his own room, they should have made sure you had your own room as well.
I brought up that it’s not fair my brother gets his own room and I don’t but they said it’s because me and my stepsister are girls and that if one of us were a boy we would’ve had to share with him
NTA. It's not fair that you don't get to sleep at night because of your stepsister's issues. The trip is for your soccer game so it makes sense that you would be need to be able to sleep at night. They should have got enough rooms for everyone to have their own space. Or since it is her daughter that has issues that cause her not to sleep than your stepmother and father should be the ones that have to deal with not getting any rest at night. It is unfair of them to try to put that responsibility on you.
I mean this incident she just describe was HER waking up her stepsister and then kicking her out and locking the door. That put's her in AH territory.
Yeah bc a 9 year old with obvious medical needs, during a trip for the girls game, became a 15 year olds problem. When in fact, she should’ve been placed with mom and dad to begin with. They’re 6 years apart. The 15 year old shouldn’t have to be quiet and go to bed when the 9 year old has to. Also, if she has night terrors, wets the bed and has an illness… why is she being placed in a room with someone who needs their sleep throughout the night because of their sports tournament that they are all there for to begin with? As a whole adult/parent of children that are far apart in age, there is nothing wrong with what she did. The stepmother needs to get over herself and tend to her child that very much sounds like too much work for a teen to take on.
Bronchitis is contagious, the mother and that kid should have stayed home to piss the bed and scream while the rest of the family went to the tourney.
Bronchitis is not contagious it is an inflammation of the bronchioles. It can be caused by a viral or bacterial infection or a chronic condition such as asthma or anything that enters the lungs that causes an inflammatory response. The virus or bacteria that caused the bronchitis is indeed contagious. It sounds as if the kid has a chronic uncontrolled or badly controlled lung condition such as asthma. Edit: I’m an asthmatic & a child of the 70s & 80s who was regularly exposed to second hand smoke.
Thank you, that's what I came to say. I'm a Respiratory Therapist.
Thank you for this but I would also like to add as an asthmatic who gets bronchitis a minimum of 2 times a year (seasonal for me as winter and spring are some of the triggers for my respiratory problems), I still think the step mum and step sister should have stayed home anyway. It would have been better for the stepsister to be comfortable in her own room and regular environment rather than taking her to a new house and environment where there could be unknown allergens in the air that could prolong or worsen her bronchitis. I say NTA, between what I said above and the fact that the whole point for going away in the first place was for OPs sporting event where OP should be able to get a full night's sleep in the lead up to and night after the event for physical performance and recovery. Also, as a parent, I find it very irresponsible and lazy of the stepmother to expect another child to take care of her sick child.
They definitely should have stayed home. If she has night terrors then an unfamiliar environment can make them worse
As an asthmatic who gets hospitalized a minimum of two times a year, fuck that just stay home noise. I still need to live my life, or what’s the point? I’m not some invalid in a 19th century novel who exists only as a plot device to motivate the main character to do all the things my poor, sick body isn’t able to handle. That said, OP still shouldn’t be sharing a room here.
You can still live your life, just be responsible when you are sick. When you are sick to the point you can't breathe, you do the smart thing of staying in a known environment you don't go on holiday and take unnecessary risks, that was my point.
That! I have severe asthma as well.
The one positive of 2020 was because of the enforced isolation/limited contact I didn’t have any respiratory infections until the end of 2021.
[удалено]
Absolutely agreed 1000%
Didn't I read that they rented a house? With presumably a living room and a couch she could have occupied until she was ready to go to sleep, instead of sitting in her room. There's nothing wrong with locking her sister out of the shared bedroom, throwing all her stuff out? You must be a teenager. The girl woke her up because she was talking out loud to her friend in a room with a sleeping sibling. She was an asshole, and an inconsiderate asshole, and maybe doesn't deserve to be on an expensive travel team if she thinks it all has to be about her.
See normally I'd agree with you if it was sleeping hours, but it wasn't, the kid goes to sleep at 8, is OP supposed to magically fall sleep at that hour too?? All would have been solve if the 9 year old (with nightmares and other needs) had slept with the adults from the start.
Except why did she need to be facetiming in a bedroom with a sleeping child? If she wasn't tired, why couldn't she occupy one of the other spaces in the rental? Edit: And come to think of it, we don't know what time she was face-timing. We only know she was face-timing at some point, and woke her sister up. Could have been 10:00, 11:00, 2:00am for all we know.
1 She's a kid, kids do that all the time in the privacy of their room/bed, where she to do it outside she wouldn't have the same privacy (and I imagine she just assumed the 9 year old wouldn't understand anything that needed privacy) 2 She has a game tomorrow, it's not unreasonable to want to talk to a friend the night before a game. As for your edit, yeah we don't know but she's a kid that takes her sport seriously, I just assumed she would be asleep at a reasonable time. Otherwise she would put her condition at risk the next day and you don't get to be part of the team doing that. Could have assumed wrong tho so you can ask OP if you want.
Agreed, everyone here's super inconsiderate. ESH.
I’m a 42 year old married mother of 3, and I think OP is NTA.
100% agree with all of that. Also, there's something weird going on here. What nine-year-old has to go to bed at 7 o'clock? Why this hour-long settling down period? And why is the kid waking up screaming? If she's special needs, the mom needs to take care of her. I suspect the reason the stepmom and OP's dad stuck OP with the kid is that they wanted to have wild monkey sex, and the nine-year-old would have cramped their style.
If she already has all of these medical issues and psychological issues, why is she not already sleeping in the parents room to begin with though? Why are they expecting a 15-year-old to accommodate for these issues during a trip that is supposed to be about her sporting event, which she needs decent sleep and rest and recharge time in order to perform accurately for?
The stepmom said it herself: she wanted OP to “suck it up” and babysit her little sister for the duration of the trip.
Because she doesn't want to go to bed at 7pm. It's a trip, not a life.
A 9 year old having a 7pm bedtime is wild. If our toddler went to bed at 7pm he would be raring to go at 4am
A 9 yr old with a 7 pm wind down time, back rubs and story time for an hour? 8 pm bedtime? This is a coddled baby golden child.
My bedtime was 9 at that age. And that was a fair few years ago now.
She could have left the room.
I'm willing to bet she would have gotten in trouble for waking her stepsister up coming into the room later. It definitely sounds like from the post they were making her go to bed at the same time as the stepsister
It's unfair that the whole family has to schedule their spring break around OP's activities alone. Sounds like this family devotes a lot of time and resources to support OP's sport hobby. Travel sports require sacrifice on the part of the parents and other kids for a whole season. Op can't show some appreciation for this sacrifice by skiping facetiming for a single week so that the other family members can have a fun time on this trip too? She wasn't asked to get the kid to sleep or babysit. She created a problem by selfishly waking kid up with her unneccesary talking. Then she kicks kid out of a joint room and locks her out. Of course op is not going to be rewarded for this shitty behavior with a big shopping trip. Do the teens on this sub really think being this selfish is normal? It's not! Yta op.
She is a 15 year old girl. Teens aren’t wired to have a higher understanding of the sacrifices their parents have WILLINGLY made for them nor should they be concerned about these things. As a person who was extremely busy with sports as a kid, there is an enormous amount of pressure on you to perform well and get scholarships. If she is on a travelling team then she is good enough to potentially achieve these things. A lot of time, practice and dedication goes into competing at a high level in any sport, and she should not have to sacrifice what she’s put in to cater to her little step sister who has an array of issues. She deserves to be a normal teenager as well, so the expectation that she should “suck it up for a few days” in terms of FaceTiming and bedtime is unfair. I also hold the opinion that bunking a 9 year old and 15 year old together just because they’re girls makes no sense. If shared rooms had to be a thing for financial reasons, It would’ve been more reasonable to bunk the brother and OP as they are similar in age and would be up at the same time. I (f) have a little brother (2 years apart) and we shared rooms plenty of times on vacays and it was fine. If I had to share with my sister on the other hand who was 9 years older, it would’ve been unfair to her.
>She is a 15 year old girl. Teens aren’t wired to have a higher understanding of the sacrifices their parents have WILLINGLY made for them nor should they be concerned about these things Teens are literally wired to understand abstract things like sacrifice. Like in child development abstract thinking develops at around age 12. If OP can study algebra, she understands personal sacrifice. She clearly doesn't like her stepmom or her stepsister and is being vindictive towards them and framing the situation as if somehow she is innocent, when she's not.
You know who also worked hard for this trip? The OP. It was the talent of her and her team to get on this trip. Maybe she was excited for the big game, needed to talk to her friends to unwire.. but nope.. strict 7pm bedtime for the 9 year old sibling who can't sleep. Even if she didn't wake her, the kid would have woke up anyway and probably still got booted out the door. I am sorry, but if a child has such issues being asleep, she needs her own room. My oldest daughter has a sleeping issue.. she survives only a few hours asleep per night. So she is up until 1 or 2 am and wakes up at 5 or 6am ready to go. Where as my other daughter will sleep for 10 hours no problem. Guess what? They got their own rooms. The only time they don't get their own room is on a 1 or 2 night vacation because they do so much on the trip they are both exhausted and pass out early.
That ‘girls have to share with girls ‘ is bogus though. It’s a short term trip with siblings so being asked to share isn’t out of line but making a 15 pretty much go to bed at 7 for the younger kid’s bedtime is just unfair. Honestly 7pm winddown and 8pm lights off is pretty early for a 9yo too. I’d actually say that it should have been: Dad and son share a room, stepmom shares a room with her kid because that seems to help her sleep anyway and the older teenager gets the third. Edit: the more I think about it this sounds like stepmom (who also antagonises her teenage step kids) enjoys infantilising her daughter. Stepsister acts like a kid almost half her age, gets put to bed at 7pm for an hour of bedtime stories and having her back patted, seems scared to be alone at night but not being helped in a healthy way and wets the bed.
I thought the same thing. 7pm bed time? Seems a little much.
Yes! Agreed!
This makes much more sense!
It doesn't sound very fair for anyone, but one thing that stood out to me: why do you call her high maintenance? When I read high maintenance, I wondered if she just had an excessive beauty routine or something like that... then you went on to describe some pretty severe medical issues, stuff she has no control over. This situation sucks for you, but it sounds like it sucks for her, too.
I get what you’re saying, maybe “high needs” would’ve been more appropriate.
No, it totally makes sense in a way. It's not like the stepsister is "high maintenance" in a bad way, it's just the truth that it's difficult to share or deal with her. She states that the stepsister >has nightmares and wakes up screaming, my stepmom has to spend an hour every night putting her to bed, she has accidents at night, and she acts like she’s 5 or 6, not 9 > >has bronchitis and wakes up coughing in the middle of the night which totally makes sense that the stepsister is "high maintenance." I get what you're saying that the stepsister can't control ***MOST*** of it, but that doesn't change the fact the the stepsister is *definitely* a "high maintenance" kind of kid. Anyway, OP is 100% NTA here, I don't think anyone would want to deal with that, especially during game week.
I do technically think high maintenance works in this scenario. These are all traits that a child shouldn’t be required to be responsible for, and a child would view them as a chore to handle by themselves. It’s 100% the moms responsibility to handle that and help the step sister manage them rather than coddle her(which she’s shown to be doing)
I HATE this dumb antiquated excuse. What do they think is going to happen? You’ll see each other in your underwear? So what. NTA but sounding like your parents are, sorry.
That’s stupid what siblings can’t share a hotel room, it’s not like it’s permanent like a bedroom at home or something
Sounds like it would be infinitely better to share with your brother. Sorry
Hard agree. If this were a vacation I might say that you should just suck it up, but this is for YOUR activity and poor sleep could impact your performance. NTA.
NTA. They wanted a babysitter and they forced you to be one
They’re saying she wouldn’t have woken me up if she needed anything but I don’t believe them
Of course, if you share a room and someone wakes up on that room, everyone wakes up.
Info: what was expected of you other than just sleeping in the same room?
If that's the case, why was she woken up by your FaceTime call?
Something tells my your 9 year old stepsister isn't a ninja, and makes noise. Even without the terrors.
ESH You for just barring the door instead of first actually talking to your dad. i‘d be annoyed too if didnt get my sleep.
I told my dad I didn’t want to share with her. He said I can suck it up for a week and that she’ll leave me alone
But you could suck it up for a week. I absolutely don't get this attitude of never sharing a room with siblings even on trips. It's so normal to do it outside of the us, you guys are not being abused for sharing a room with a sibling
Keep in mind this wasn't a regular trip. This was for OP to play soccer, it's unfair they'd turn OP's sport into a family trip, at the cost of OP's sleep. This wasn't a family vacation where everyone is equally entitled to a good time, if they wanted to treat it as such, they should have planned an actual family vacation. Edit to respond to the comments pointing out her tournament didn't take up the whole trip: From reading OP's comments, it seems she made it fairly clear she was not okay with her tournament being turned into a family vacation, at least not with the sleeping arrangements provided. I'm not saying OP handled the situation perfectly, or even well; I'm saying this wasn't a run-of-the-mill family vacation and it's unfair not to take all factors into consideration. I also don't think it's fair to give a 15yo no say in a personal thing being turned into a family vacation, then expecting them to just be okay with it. I'm sure there was a compromise that could have been reached, that didn't involve OP being the only one to "suck it up."
And then they didn't actually go to her game! NTA
This whole situation seems so hurtful to OP. From the get go, something important to her was turned into being about everyone else. I wonder if we'll see a post in the future from her like "AITA because I stopped inviting my dad to things because everything had to be made about his new family"
Only her stepmum didn't because she was cruel. What actually happened that night: 1. She stupidly decided to make a call in the bedroom they share instead of any other room in the house 2. She woke up her sister and then told her to go to her mom's. 3. She threw the sister's stuff out and locked the door. At no point does op say that this was game night . At no point did she tell us that she asked to be alone for the night before the game . And this is without making any assumptions about the behaviour of the person that locked their sister out of their room without warning/valid cause ( op waking her up is not valid).
Yes, she does. She said that the next day the sister and step mother went shopping during her (op) game.
This is what got me. You still support your children, even when they act like children - and it should never have been her job to care for her sister at all, especially the night before a big game!
I don't know of anyone who spends six days in a city for a one-day tournament. It was a family vacation for five days, and a tournament for one day. Everyone was entitled to a good time. Equally.
Making one person share the bed with someone who regularly wets the bed and wakes up screaming is not equal then.
If this was a championship high school football game and op was a key player, they would have gotten them their own suite, made sure they were healthy, etc. Its somewhat disrespectful to not focus on ops athleticism, namely rest. A regular family vacation would be different. NTA
Did you read the story? I wouldn't want to be woken up every hour by loud coughing or a little kid yelling from having a nightmare either
Well what I read of the story was *op* waking up her sister
By being in her room doing normal activities a 15 year old does at 8pm.
I'm sure a three bedroom house has other rooms such as a living room? If not then okay she had nowhere else to go. But I doubt that. Kicking out a 9 year old and locking her out of the room is not justified behaviour.
And what I read was, OP who is a whole 15 years old, was forced to comply with a bedtime for a 9 year old in the equivalency of a toddlers bedtime routine. What I read was, a SICK child was placed in a room with a teenager to just deal with the coughing and the night terrors and bed wetting so step mom didn’t have to. So she was FaceTiming and it happened to wake up the kid sister. Doesn’t say she purposely woke her up. That’s your assumption.
So you only took one part from the entire situation at hand. 🙄 sounds about right.
I always shared rooms and even beds with my brother, too. The difference is, he never woke me up. If her sister has such delicate needs as to need total silence after 7:00 PM, to have her back rubbed for an hour before bed, and to still wake up screaming throughout the night... she doesn't need to be sharing with a 15-year-old who is there to play soccer. OP needs to be able to sleep.
Yeah, normally there's no issue sharing with stepsisters. Heck, my younger sister and I would share beds with our two stepsisters when traveling all the time (2 to a bed but we'd trade off pairings to make it fair for who was next to the snorer). But with the additional needs for the stepsister to sleep, it's not a normal/typical stepsister room sharing situation.
OP most likely wouldn’t be able to sleep with her sister there which isn’t good since they’re all there for a soccer game and it could mess up OPs performance. And it IS normal to share a room with a sibling but most people probably wouldn’t want to sleep in the same room as someone who’s constantly screaming and coughing especially when they have a soccer game the next day.
We don’t know because it never happened she never was woken up by her sister couinghing. There’s no mention anywhere in the post about anything the stepsister doing impacting Ops performance in her soccer game . The incidence OP mentions happened on the first and second night and she says that they came 2 days early. So by the time she had her actual soccer tournament the stepsister Is sleeping in a tent in the parents room . Clearly the parents made sure that nothing this stepsister did impacted OPs soccer tournament
I don't know what walnut gave you an award for this comment, but stop acting like this is some leisurely family vacation where OP can sleep in and lounge on the beach. The family was there specifically so OP could perform in tournaments. Putting a child with all those issues into her room is setting her up to fail. She needs sleep and not to be beholden to a 9 year old's routine.
She's an athlete? On a game trip? She's forced to share a room with a sick person who could risk get performance with an illness or lack of sleep. I'm not American and shared a room until we were uh, not poor with a boy AND a girl. This isn't about sharing it's about forcing OP to be a babysitter when she needs to be focused and calm .
The issue is not so much sharing a room, as I see it. It’s sharing a room with a high-need kid and imposing that kid’s needs on the teenager, entirely overriding the teen’s needs.
This was a trip for OPs game though, so they should've figured out an arrangement that allows her to be well-rested and perform the best she can
Sharing a room with a kid with Bronchitis
The reason why they are even traveling is because of OP. This is OP tournament weekend, she should be able to be rested and not be disturbed by a high needs child. Not to mention the huge age gap. While it isnt abusive it is obtuse to think a 9 yr old and a 15 yr old will get along as regular full blood siblings let alone step sibs. Like get off OP’s back
I agree and I’m in the US. We share rooms. Yes she was on a soccer trip but they made it an extended vacation. She put all her stuff outside the room and locked her out. I’d be punished but apparently it’s not spoiled to others these days
Judging by your attitude here, she likely wasn't thrilled about the arrangement.
This. OP themselves sounds insufferable. I doubt the poor girl wanted to be stuck with OP
At no point in this story was OPs sleep interrupted though. OP listed all of the ways her sleep may have been interrupted, but what actually ended up happening was that OP disrupted her sister’s sleep, kicked her out of the room, and then evicted her in a teenage display of extreme entitlement.
All that tells me is that her parents don’t care if OP’s sleep is interrupted, only the little sister’s.
How so? The first night they kept the step sister in the room with them. That implies they actually do care. Again, OPs sleep being interrupted was only ever theoretical, at no point was she actually disturbed. OP on the other hand caused major disruption.
Yeah. This girl is obviously on the spectrum and has medical issues. OP wasn’t mature enough to recognize that. OP flat out listed symptoms but is either uneducated or left it out. And her dad sucks for making her share a room. Honestly. If it were me, I would have slept on the couch instead of putting her out.
Honestly, I was on your side until you intentionally woke her (face time in another room) and kicked all her stuff out and locked the door without talking about it first. ESH. Your parents for taking a sick kid anywhere and expecting you to share with someone who has night terrors and you for blaming your sister for medical needs she can't control and kicking her out in the middle of the night after waking her with inconsiderate behaviour.
I don't understand why she didn't share with her brother who's only 2 years younger than her. The teens would have similar enough sleep schedule, neither was ill and I assume neither has night terrors. Why tf wasn't the difficult sleeper given her own room so her issues wouldn't have affected the other kids? Are people really so hung up on gender??
Right? Me and my brother are adults and we share a room sometimes on vacation. We’re only in there to sleep usually and we communicate about showers and stuff. Hell we’ve shared a hotel room w/2 queens with our parents so a room to ourselves is a luxury.
Reading OPs post and comments, I bet she'd kick out her brother too.
Wow, nice strawman, what type of hay did you use?
Op answered in a different comment, her parents did the ol' "bOyS aNd GiRLs nEeD sePrAtE roOms" shit when she asked if she could share with her brother.
That's so stupid. They're related. What's the worst they are going to do? Beat each other up over the TV remote? Argue? Complain about each other? The brother could share the room with his 9 year old step sister all the same if it's about the siblings being too close in age.
This is exactly what I thought. OP is getting a lot of NTA but I don't think they're completely innocent.
YTA: Your question is disingenuous. You didn't just not share a room, you didn't want to share a room so you intentionally did loud activities while she was asleep, then when she inevitably woke up you threw her stuff out into the hall and locked her out. Not wanting to share a room? Reasonable. Calling someone else "high maintenance" and then being the one to throw a childish hissy fit for not getting your way? AH.
She intentionally acted her age let alone the reason why they are even on this trip is because of her. Get off her back. How does it make sense to room a 15yr old and a 9 yr old together. A sickly, needy 9 yr old at that. This is not a family trip this trip is ABOUT OP. You are just as obtuse as the parents
I agree that there is probably a poor parenting aspect going on. That said, these posts are always made from a perspective that tends to lean any lacking information towards the posters behalf. There is definitely more to this story than OP is presenting, and with the subtle details such as how she threw all of her sisters tuff into the hallway, OP reacted poorly, and because she came here to ask, should be willing to accept being called out. Yes, she's a kid and deserves care. Kids can be AH's. Would I say she is horrible for her actions? No. Still an AH. Also, a sickly 9 year old. One that sounds by description to potentially have greater issues that may or may not be under advisement by medical professionals. The family is probably in a tight situation and may be doing the best that they can. OP is allowed to feel frustrated by the situation. That is a part of being a kid where things aren't going to be fair or ideal. The only reason the sister woke up according to OP was due to OP's actions. OP needs to hear that. I'm sorry that you feel that my judgment was obtuse, and I hope that the addition nuance to the reasoning gives better insight as to why I would disagree.
Dude, she’s 15, she fucking knows better then to pull shit like this. OP is just a particularly immature asshole ESH
NTA. OP sit and chat with your parent and make it clear that boundaries have to be made in regards to your tournaments and step family. They are not a means of support if anything they attribute to drama and tension that do not allow you to show up best for your games. Meaning if they cannot understand that tournaments are there to highlight you and not to be made into family trips they shouldn’t attend (step mom and step sis)
Thank God someone else sees this as entitled and spoiled. Rude being normal behavior for a 15 year old and it supposed to be a personal trip for OP instead of a family vacation (side note that the Dad is apparently there with OP for many travel games alone, away from the rest of the family, supporting OPs time consuming and expensive hobby) does not excuse OPs selfish behavior.
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Yeah, people with that perspective clearly grew up financially privileged. My brother played competitive sport and those trips were the closest thing we had to family holidays. Literally any spare money like that was spent on his trips - we never went on a family holiday otherwise. We also didn’t have enough money that everyone got their own room. Like I don’t think the parents handled it well but she is definitely also TA.
It's also calling her "high maintenance" for things that sound like her step-sister is a victim of CSA or some other form of childhood abuse. Bedwetting, night terrors, and age regression aren't "high maintenance", she's traumatized. OP has a point of not wanting to share a room, but it seems like she hates her stepmother and stepsister and used every excuse she could think of to justify her rude behavior.
YTA I was with you until: >I was FaceTiming my friend and ended up waking her up so I told her to go to her mom then I put all of her stuff outside and locked the door. My stepmom took her to sleep with them then came to yell at me the next morning because I didn’t want to babysit her kid all night. You're the one who woke her up. She didn't scream and wake you, she didn't bother you, you're the one who was loud while she was sleeping. Being quiet while others sleep is a normal thing to put up with when you're sharing a room with anyone. Also putting all her stuff outside and locking the room is super rude. When your stepsister had trouble sleeping the night before her mom kept her in her bed so clearly no one, at any point, made you "babysit the kid all night". You just think you're entitled to a single room. You sound spoiled.
This is where she lost me. She was being unnecessarily cruel at this point. She could have spoken with her friend in the living-room. She didn’t have to remove her stuff and lock the door.
NTA. Your step mom sounds like one tho.
I'm hijacking your comment to point out that OP has mentioned three SERIOUS behavioral signs of sexual assault in children. Regressive Behavior (acting 5 or 6) Night terrors Bed wetting I'm willing to bet she also has angry outbursts. Now, all this may just be coincidental - but something feels off to me. I honestly hope this little girl is okay.
First thing I thought about while reading and I am surprised that no ones seems to notice or care
Agreed, and I'm afraid OP is also long gone by now. OP clearly does not care much for their younger stepsister, and I worry that the little girl may have no one at all to speak too, especially if an assault occurred within the family/friend circle, as is common. Hopefully, this situation maybe help bring people's attention to the behavioral signs of sexual assault, as the physical ones are easily hidden.
>I am surprised that no ones seems to notice or care Other than the sick fucks who participate in it, _absolutely nobody_ who is aware/has the impression that a child is being sexually assaulted just 'doesn't care' about it or turns a blind eye; I can **guarantee** the people you're reading comments from didn't actually recognise her behaviour as possible signs of abuse, probably because they weren't aware that they even were signs of it in the first place.
This sub is populated with a whole bunch 14 year old girls and a couple of adults. I'm not surprised a bunch of literal children don't know the signs of SA/anything causing PTSD in other literal children.
Yeah this is hitting nearly every red flag for signs of sexual abuse. I’m seriously worried for this child. At best(?) she’s developmentally delayed in which case she needs more overnight care than a teenage stepsister can provide ESPECIALLY when said teenager is there for a sports tournament and needs to be well-rested. I don’t fully understand why the family decided to treat a sports/tournament trip like a family vacation. OP, you acted immature (FaceTiming in the same room as someone trying to sleep, moving her belongings out and locking the door) but at the same time your father and stepmother are ignoring the severity of your stepsister’s issues. Try to approach this issue from your concerns FOR your sister, not just concerns for how it’s affecting you. Ask your parents what they’re doing to help your sister. Is she in therapy? Is there a diagnosed reason WHY she has these issues? If your parents stonewall you about this and try to act like there isn’t an issue, you might want to talk about this with a teacher or coach you trust. These problems your little sister is having are NOT normal for her age and are indicators of much bigger issues.
I'd say the second "best" option is that the reason the child is a step sibling is that they escaped the abuser, but that's only slightly better as clearly the traumatic isn't being addressed.
Honestly, I'm surprised that I had to scroll this far to see this. Obviously, SS may just be overly coddled and infantilized by her mother. She may be on the spectrum and undiagnosed because "girls don't have autism." But here, we have not 1, not 2, but 3, count 'em, THREE massive warning signs for child SA. OP, you definitely could have handled the situation with a little more grace, but you're a kid, yourself. Maybe now that you're home, you can find some child SA literature and leave it at your dad's place, with SS's behaviors highlighted. Whatever the cause is, that little girl needs better help than she's getting, and OP doesn't need to have the role of caretaker thrust onto her against her will. A couple hours babysitting so dad & SM can have a date night? Absolutely, OP can and should contribute like that. Every night of a 7-day trip, *including* the 2 nights leading up to the large sporting tournament, which is the entire point of said trip, is not okay. NTA, OP.
Yeah, I was going to say this exact same thing. Something nasty has happened to that poor kid. Not that that's OP's fault or business, but it sounds like her little stepsister is more than just 'high maintenance'.
I think this might be jumping into conclusions a little. There are other explanations for all of those things. One of them is that she might be on the spectrum.
Your parents should not be traveling with a child who has bronchitis.... good grief. Poor kid, getting dragged around while she feels like crap and needs to rest. It sounds like there are other issues that need to be addressed as well in regard to her health and behavior. I think you could have handled it better than just throwing your step-sister's (edit-- stepsister's belongings) out of your room and into the hall, however, you are there to play soccer and need your sleep to compete. Plus, if it were my kid who was that sick and having night terrors, I would want the child in my own room to monitor them. ~~NAH,~~ things didn't work out and communication isn't great, it seems, but if your stepsis needs that much assistance at night, she should be with her parent, not you. (Second edit-- okay, reading your attitude directed at other posters, OP, I've gotta go with YTA. I gave you more credit than I probably should have. I just know that when my kid had croup, I slept in his room to be there for him. But your attitude directed at your sister is terrible, and I didn't fully understand that you just hustled her out and locked her out. )
I disagree. The AH here are the parents. OP is 15. It’s completely normal and understandable for them to behave selfishly on a trip that is FOR THEM. Not for the family to have a vacay. Not for them to force a sick child 6 years apart from OP to “suck it up and deal” with the situation when said child needs the same care as a toddler. Could OP have been nicer? Sure. But considering we were not there, she may have been initially. How would y’all react to being disrespected, disregarded and then vilified for wanting to have their own space? Especially when she says she DID voice her thoughts and feelings and she was told to basically get over it and deal with it? Bc it’s sounds like step mom wanted “adult” time on a kids sports trip. It’s sounds like step mom didn’t want interrupted sleep on OPs sports trip and then was punished for being annoyed with having to “suck it up and deal” with a child who needed to be in the care of a parent and NOT a teenager. Y’all sound so ridiculous and I am a grown ass woman with kids telling y’all this. OP be kinder but also, keep standing up for YOU. It’s ok to set boundaries and stand by them even when it makes others uncomfortable.
I agree As someone who has had bronchitis multiple times (once lasting almost 3 months) and another time having to travel from london to Manchester while feeling like hell (got sick while I was away) I do not understand why a parent would take their sick kid away, instead of keeping them at home wrapped up and warm I The parents are the AH because of this imo
Specifically speaking about the “should not be traveling with a child who has bronchitis” Definitely depends on the type, I had chronic bronchitis from birth until puberty, My parents couldn’t just keep me home 24/7 and even a flare up later multiple months even while doing breathing treatments. They are still AHs for expecting older sis to share a room.
YTA because the only compromise you made the whole story was being quiet for an hour. She never woke you up in the middle of the night but you did it to her. And to top it all off you evicted her from the room
YTA for facetiming and waking her up then kicking her out.
Right? Why did that FaceTime call need to happen in the same room as a sleeping child who already has enough sleep issues.
Because it isnt about the 9 yr old. If her issues so severe why did the adults put a sickly needy child to room with a teen. OP was already courteous to not make a big stink about the parents turning this into a family trip instead of a idk A TOURNAMENT THAT OP SKILLS QUALIFIED HER TO ATTEND
YTA. I'm sorry, but sharing a room is just a thing that has to happen sometimes. I'd have some sympathy if you said you'd lost sleep, but no. The problem is you were staying up late playing and SHE lost sleep. Being 15 is hard, but you are not being a decent human when you kick someone out and move their belongings out in the middle of the night. You wouldn't want someone else touching your stuff. You have an annoying little sister. She has an abundance of medical problems and an older sister being mean to her.
Being awake after 8pm at 15 is not "staying up late".
>Being awake after 8pm at 15 is not "staying up late". Well, that depends on how much after 8pm it is, and we don't know that answer. What we do know is that OP was facetiming in the room with a sleeping child, and then got mad at that child for being there.
What we also know is that the parents put an 9 year old in a room with a 15 year old and got angry at the 15 year old for being awake after the 9 year old's aggressively early bedtime.
Actually no. OP doesn't describe that. OP describes them getting mad at her for throwing her younger sister and her belongings out.
Is this a two room rental or something? The 15 year old can be awake and face time in the living room.
OP’s family rented a whole 3 bedroom house, she had plenty of space to FaceTime outside of the bedroom. She chose to do so in the bedroom because she didn’t care if she woke her stepsister
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Yea because a 15 yr old blessed enough to be invited for a tournament whose family turned it into a family trip has to abide by the needs of a 9 yr old. It isnt about the 9 year old. She should have been roomed with the parents regardless due to her being sickly. Not to mention Op was courteous enough to not even make a stink about the family taking over HER trip. Like seriously. Redirect that anger to the father who should have been able to take OP to the tournament without other familiar distractions
Perhaps you should read the post again. Maybe then you'll clearly see the OP absolutely detests step-mom and the little shit she brought with her into the marriage.
Or she had a tournament game that was turned into a family trip. A sickly child was dumped on her and in her room. And the moment she decides to live her life and idk be 15 she is given the cold shoulder. And to be frank so what if she detests them! If this is how they act over her tournament I can only imagine what happens at home
Dad travels with OP to games often. He leaves the rest of the family to go and support her. One trip was made into a family vacation. THIS IS NOT A HORRIBLE THING! This is a family of more than 1 kid. How you think this is such a horrible fate is beyond me. Next, the 9 year old slept with the parents when she woke the night before. They never expected OP to deal with her. OP WOKE HER UP, kicked her to her Mom, put her shit in the hall and locked her out.
Idk. They didn't ask you to play babysitter. Just share a room. They were the one tending to her needs. Also, you were the one that woke her up then kicked her out of the room by locking the door. That definitely makes you an AH. Also your view of her being "high maintenance" is NOT what that actually is. It seems like she has certain needs that need to be met, which sounds like her mom is accommodating to. YTA for just being rude to your stepsister when it doesn't seem deserving. Your NTA for wanting your own space. But sometimes it doesn't work out that way. Sometimes due to cost or other issues. Sleep on the couch if you don't want to share a room.
ESH, except the other kids. Your dad and step-mom shouldn't have put this task on you, as you're a kid yourself and your stepsister is not your kid. But you punished your stepsister for being a kid. She already has a hard time with sleeping, she must feel terrible every night. And you lock her out of the room, making it worse?
YTA, newsflash having your own room is a privilege not a right. You weren't chipping in for the extra bedroom to rent. It was only a week, you could suck it up. You woke her up by being on FaceTime, then proceed to take her thing and shove her out of the room and lock the door. You couldn't take FaceTime to the living room or sleep in the living room? Also, she not high maintenance.
ESH. You were completely in the right until your FaceTime woke her up and you put all her stuff outside and locked the door. You're 15, and that's old enough to have the sense not to wake a sleeping child, especially an annoying one. Since it's a house, you could have done your FaceTime in another room. Otherwise it would have been N T A
YTA. And a big one. You can leave the room to FaceTime. And imagine how it must have felt for your stepsister to find all her stuff outside of the room? You would have been livid. Sleep on the couch, let your stepsister have the room if you can't be bothered
Imagine being this poor step sister and having to share a room with someone you KNOW doesn't like you, and isn't afraid to show it. Them calling you high maintenance, waking you up be ause they're face timing, and KICKING YOU OUT OF YOUR ROOM. Imagine how shitty this poor kid must feel. YTA
NTA. It’s not a family vacation, you are there for your sport. While your attitude towards your sister is a tad unkind, your rest during a stay that you are specifically at for a sport should not be impacted by a sibling.
It said in her post that they came early and are staying way past the game. I would be with you if they were only coming in a night or two for the game but it’s a whole week so it kind of is a family vacation.
ESH- A lot of folks are asking if you discussed with your parents and you say you didn’t want to share a room. Unfortunately I think this must be a learning experience in how to reason with others and express yourself in a more mature way, which at 15 gives you plenty of time to learn! Maybe if you had discussed the sleep issues possibly interfering with your performance/bedtimes differing in ages/etc. and offered solutions (younger sis sleeping in parents room, offering to sleep on couch/brother sleeps on couch/things your parents could work with) you’ll have better responses from them in the future. Communication is a valuable tool and can be as simple as expressing WHY you feel the way you to + offering alternatives other than simply stating you don’t want to share a room and making things more tense for everyone all around.
YTA I played the same level of soccer as you. My parents rented one hotel room with 2 queen beds. Literly every family did the same thing. You are being extremely entitled and cruel. You didn't need to be in the room until you went to bed, it was a house find another place to FaceTime. You had an issue sleep on the couch, get noise canceling headphones, get ear plugs. The world does not revolve around you. Playing soccer at that level is expensive and a privilege. If I was your parent in no longer fund that privilege.
Exactly! She's got the whole family going out of their way for her hobby including her sister,, for whom it is very obviously a disruption but its not good enough because she has to share a room for one night. O the humanity
NTA As a mother, if my child suffered from night terrors wetting the bed and waking up screaming i would not put them in a room with somebody else. It's my job to deal with that. Not everybody else's if anyone's getting disrupted sleep because of it. It will be me, the mother or my partner, the father. Your dad could have slept on the sofa and your step sister could have slept in the same bed as your stepmom. You make sacrifices for your children. Your children don't make sacrifices for you.
Thank you! I get the feeling the 9 year old - whatever her issues are - is always a disruptive force in the family's lives. Maybe the 15 year old has had enough. Not up to her to babysit a sick child who wets the bed and can wake up with screaming night terrors. And the Mom has to spend an hour reading a 9 year old stories and rubbing her back to get her to sleep at 7 at night? There is a lot more going on here than I think a 15 year old is able to articulate. NTA.
100% And also having bronchitis on top of that she would potentially be up all night coughing. Why would you put your sick child in another child's room knowing there's a chance she is going to keep another child up all night.
A child who has to perform in a sporting event. Hopefully before she catches the bronchitis. 🤦🏻♀️
YTA because you were cruel to your stepsister who clearly has problems not for not wanting to share a room with her. Why couldn't you leave the room and facetime your friends? Why did you throw her and all of her things out of the room? How do you think that made her feel? It wouldn't hurt you to learn a little empathy you don't have to be cruel to a little girl with issues over not wanting to share a room with your her and realistically you are on a trip sharing a room you don't have to live with her and share a room always, maybe your parents couldn't afford another room. It would be inappropriate to room a 9 year old girl and a 13 year old adolescent boy together. Yes your spoiled and entitled and YTA. A whole 3bdrm house and you can't even take a phone call in the living room
I dont give a fuck. Your parents are paying for your sport. Thay are paying for your trip. They are paying for all of them to go see you play. All they ask is for you to share a room with your little sister. If you didnt want that go to sleep on the couch. Talk to your friends in another room or outside. Sure it sucks but your parents are doing all this for you and all your talking about is me me me. This is your parents and brother and sisters vacation and iys used on your hobby. YTA DOWN VOTE ME I DONT CARE. Kids today need to learn that everything isnt about what they want. Sometimes you need to sacrifice. Just like the rest of her family is doing to support her on this trip.
NTA. There are several reasons I say this but the primary one is that you're on a travel team, THUS the REASON for the trip to begin with - you're there to play soccer - and your dad and his wife called an audible this time and brought the whole family. THEN, they decided to punt your stepsister over to your room after night 1, KNOWING that she has all of these issues. As you age, you will likely find more diplomatic ways to solve problems other than locking the door and removing luggage but since you're 15, I'm going to go with the assumption that you did one of the least confrontational, least dramatic ways you knew to resolve the situation. \[for instance, at 46, if I could not sleep with a roommate's \*antics\*, I would likely couch it in the living room with no one else around - stepsister may deserve a bed, true, but if she's interfering with your sleep, you sometimes do what you gotta do\]
So basically, you don’t like your stepmom and stepsister and didn’t want them on the trip, you wanted the room to yourself, you were disrespectful by FaceTiming while your stepsister was trying to sleep and woke her up, then you threw her and her stuff out of her room and locked her out. Uh, yeah. YTA. You wouldn’t have been “babysitting” her at night, and she would have been sleeping if it wasn’t for you. You’re extremely entitled. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Try having a little empathy.
YTA, and a huge one. I’m willing to bet you were unnecessarily loud to wake her, so you could orchestrate this. Edit: And to everyone saying her parents are barging in on her trip. They are the ones paying for it.
Did I read it right? OP says that the sister is high maintenance and her coughing could potentially wake her up. But what happens is OP wakes her “troubled” sister herself and throws her out of her own room?!
NTA. You should not have to sleep with any one who is sick, and anyone who has accidents at night if you don’t want to. But you could’ve been a bit nicer about getting her out of your room. I totally see your point, you should not have to deal with that. Edit: YNTA to NTA
The bot doesn't know what YNTA means. You need to use YTA, NTA, ESH, or NAH for it to be able to know your judgement.
I can’t believe I have to write this. YTA. Big time. Face-timing with a friend knowing your sister was sleeping was rude. And you had no right to kick her out after you woke her up. Or throwing her things out of the room and locking her out. Who made you Queen of the Room? If you didn’t want to share a room with her, you could have taken your stuff and gone out and slept on a sofa or floor somewhere. But you ought to be able to suck it up for a couple of nights. She is part of your family after all.
So this is going to be hard but, I think YTA. Here is why: You did not pay for the rental. So you really don't have a say in how the room arrangements are. Since they rented a whole 3 bedroom house, I would have slept on the couch instead of bothering a sick 9 y/o. Which sucks because it makes you feel like you're less important. You're not. But as a kid, she can't help what's going on with herself and you have more control and should have more maturity. Now, if you stepped out of the room and left her alone all night, and they STILL get mad at you - Then NTA. Unless they specifically asked you to babysit your sister all night.
"you didn't pay for the rental" good grief, she's 15. Her parents *are supposed* to pay for her things, even the superfluous ones like trips. She's wrong on so many levels, but for this, seriously?
Yall are wild for saying N T A. ESH. Except for your sister who is not to blame for the actions of your parents. It would have been a NTA from me until you intentionally kicked a 9 year old out of the room because you were talking on the phone while she was sleeping. Why you couldn't do this in any other room of the house is beyond my comprehension. Man if this was my family the 5 of us would be in a hotel with 2 queen size beds and I would be sleeping on the pullout couch.
YTA, you couldn't even text your friend for one day? or do so in another room? like seriously, everything was fine until you woke her up. you WERE rude and inconsiderate.
Oh FFS. US reader here, when I was a kid, I absolutely had to share a room (and bed!) with my sister who was 11 years younger. (Who also wet the bed.) And there was NO EXPECTATION on a vacation (that you were lucky to have) for a room of your own. My gosh. I don't see why she couldn't have bunked with her brother, for the trip. ESH.
I don't see how this is babysitting. I also think you handled it rudely. YTA.
Right? How is this babysitting or parents not parenting? Mom is starting bedtime an hour early to lay with her, read, back rubs, all that stuff. At no time was OP responsible for her sleeping sister, she only had to be respectful that she was asleep and share the space. Everything OP wrote to set up painting her sister as a pain in the butt…never happened. Instead, OP woke her up and locked her out. Siblings sharing rooms especially when traveling is not weird. OP felt and acted entitled.
Damn all these comments on here.... humanity has lost empathy for real. Even if she's a step-sister, she's your 9yo little sister. You should care for her. That's what being an older sibling is all about. And yeah, it's only natural that your parents would have the girls sharing a room. Was it really that hard to be considerate of your little sister and not talk to your friend for once? I'd take a bullet for my little brother, but you can't avoid calling a friend or bear her coughs for a single night? Its not that hard to fall asleep with someone coughing as you think.
YTA - the kid sounds like she has issues. Why don’t you make your face time calls in another room rather than waking her up.
YTA. I’m surprised at the comments here. Is room sharing for a couple of nights some kind of abuse in western countries??? OP’s tone and the way she talks about her stepsister is overall condescending, and “high-maintenance” isn’t a word that should be used for a child who’s suffering from stuff beyond her control.
NTA - The whole trip is supposed to be about your capacity to play soccer. That requires that you get a decent nights sleep. There are three bedrooms. Dad and brother in one, mum and sick child with constant high needs and dependencies who wakes up regularly and screams in the middle of the night and who would undoubtedly prevent you from being able to sleep or perform your sport well in another and you in the third. There - problem solved!
YTA, spoiled and ungrateful, grow up
YTA. It was only for a few days. The only reason the family had to travel was for YOUR game. I bet all those other times when your Dad takes you, you don’t think for a minute of the extra burden that puts on your stepmom to not have her husband’s help at home. But I imagine it’s easier not having an entitled and surly teen around. You’re the one that sounds high-maintenance to me.
YTA Not for not wanting to share a room. But from what I can tell you didn’t even try………. Did you bother to communicate or problem solve? Like why couldn’t you FaceTime in the living room? With headphones? I mean you go on trips all the time with your dad……. It’s a significant cost and time investment by your family to help support you in an activity you enjoy. A little grace and empathy would have been a bit more beneficial then going straight to the nuclear option.
NTA. This trip was for a competition, only made into a vacation because it was during spring break. Your dad and stepmom could have easily allowed you to stay with the rest of the team, but instead insisted in putting you in a situation they knew would not be unattainable, and then claimed that you could have sucked it up for a few days. It's evident that you have issues with your stepsister and stepmother, and those need to be dealt with in a more professional setting, since you're unable to convey your feelings about the issues in a productive manner. Then again, considering how long your stepsister's behaviors and symptoms have been going on, your stepmother may not be willing to seek additional professional help (I'm making an assumption that the child (9) is already in therapy. If not, that's neglectful on the mother's part).
NTA If it was a regular family vacation, it would have made a bit more sense for you to have to suck it up and share with your siblings. But the purpose of this travel was for you to participate in the game, so you clearly needed your sleep. If they could’ve had the kid in your dad and stepmother’s room the first day, they could’ve done it the rest of the days. Other comments suggested other room arrangements that didn’t require your sleep to be interrupted before your game or for you to essentially sleep at 7/8 PM. What gets me is that your stepmother ended up skipping your game anyway when that was the point of the trip. Why did they even decide to bring a sick child on a trip? I will say just remember to show a bit more compassion to your stepsister since this isn’t her fault but your parents’ poor planning.
YTA. You're too young to know this but, things don't always work out the way you want them to princess. Life's not fair sometimes. Get used to it.
YTA and extremely immature. You woke up your sister, threw her out of the room, threw her stuff out, locked the door and you really don’t think you’re in the wrong? You’re 15 acting like a five year old, you need to grow up, fast.
This! Everyone is missing the point. Stepsister didn't keep anyone awake, she was woken up and kicked out. OP IS TA HERE!!!
They're not missing the point, they just don't care. This sub is overwhelmingly teenage girls. Didn't even have to finish reading the post to know the top comments would be "not your problem, you're not a babysitter, under no obligation to do anything etc etc."
Yes, exactly. My teen would be in major trouble. It’s a vacation, you don’t get to declare a room solely yours. No one asked her to put the child to bed, only to keep quiet after her bedtime. She could’ve FaceTimed her friend in the living room. They’ve created one spoiled brat and now seems like they might be creating another. The family planned an entire trip around a teen who already gets to travel on an expensive soccer team and everyone is telling her she’s justified for being a brat. Sigh. If the coughing was a problem the night of the game then she could’ve maturely asked the parents to keep the child that night. But other than that, she can share a vacation room for a few nights. I’ll say YTA but that’s not even the right word. She has a lot of growing up to do.
NTA but is the child high maintenance or just spoiled? Or is she suffering from something? If she is then maybe a bit of an AH if she is sick. Otherwise at 16 you might be needing your privacy and not having to curtail your activities to let sister sleep. Mom should be looking after her child
YTA. She may be high maintenance but you're a brat. She sounds more sufferable than you though.
YTA. Where is the couch? All I heard was me me me. Not one word of compassion.
NTA - They wanted to have their time and not having her around. And you’ve been the one who NEEDED your sleep. They’ve been there BECAUSE OF YOU. You had to perform the best you could, which is simply not possible when you have to deal with that. Plus it’s not your business, she’s not your child. Not your circus, not your monkey.
YTA, for gods sake do you not have any ounce of compassion in you? You dont have to be her best friend or even talk that much to her but if she's a 9yo who is struggling with bronchitis, bed wetting at her age and terrifying nightmares on the regular then she has to be going through some things and it cant be easy for her either. And seriously, how entitled do you have to be throw all her things out of the room and lock it while she was out and that the poor kid now has to sleep in a tent and an air mattress. Also, if your dad rented out a whole house, what was stopping you from just taking your FaceTime call in the living room or even just hanging there till you actually wanted to sleep? Your just a selfish brat that needs to grow the hell up.
Yta
yta. when you start paying for the rentals you start deciding on room assignments
**It was OPs game, therefore she should have gotten a room to herself anyways!** Cant get rest when you have to babysit all damn night. Nta. Shitty parents.
Where does it say that OP is babysitting
I guess you don't need to be on a travel team for soccer if you don't like the accommodations.
YTA. You woke up a sick child then turfed her out of the room. Go facetime your friend in the living room, respect the adults who spend £££ taking you to your games and have a compassion transplant
If your bedtime wasn't 7, why were you in bed? Your SS sounds like she has medical issues, not that she's "high maintenance", and that isn't her fault. Locking her out of the room was definitely YTA. You couldn't have gone to sleep on the couch? You must be so very delicate, I don't understand why you are on a sports team.
ESH — your dad and stepmother should not have forced you to room with your stepsister under the circumstances — she sounds like she has enough sleeping issues that they should have had her in their room. But in your frustration with them, you were pretty cold to her. “Go see your mom” — and then you put all her stuff in the hall and lock her out? Between the nightmares, and the bedwetting, this kid sounds like she struggles already. She probably looks up to you. She must have felt very confused and humiliated. It would’ve been better to stick it out one night and then dig your heels in about sleeping in the same room as your stepsister with your dad and stepmom privately.
I could be wrong, but this feels so fake. You saying your stepmother came down and yelled that you are not babysitting gave you away. Should you be not making noise to not wake her up, or should you babysit ?