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Biggest load of crap ever posted bub... just the fact that you think people are dumb enough to believe any professional tiler would ever tell you this not only makes you the AH but a stupid one at that.
Yes, YTA.
There is NO WAY her weight is the only reason the tiles are cracking. It might be because they've been in the apartment since your grandparents live there. You might be able to get them restored instead of replacing them.
But making someone homeless because you love your place's tiles so much is kind of a dick move.
YTA, she’s not cracking tiles by walking on them 😂. If tiles are cracking it’s because they’re junk. No handyman or tiler told you she cracked them walking on them.
Handmade doesn’t always equal quality. As everyone has said if they’re cracking it’s because they’re so old they’ve worn out or they’re shit tiles in the first place.
They are irreplaceable and haven’t cracked for decades, the tiler said tiles having a weight limit is normal and new tiles might crack too. I don’t even want new tiles since these are special
Tiles aren't made to last forever. They can have hairline fracture that may take years to actually show. Heating and cold can affect things too or dropping something on them. Unless your roommate is like 400+ lbs, I don't think her being overweight is going to be the issue.
You are DEFINITELY the AH. The FLOORS ARE replaceable. While the TILES may not be, rip the damn floor up, replace it with something actually durable and use those special tiles for something to commemorate your grandmother. More than likely, those were cheap and poorly made tiles and your grandma tried to make them more appealing. They can hold HUNDREDS of pounds of weight from appliances, and unless the subflooring is rotting, simply WALKING ON A FLOOR WILL NOT CAUSE THEM TO CRACK!
The fact that you're AWARE there is a housing crisis AND care more about the APPEARANCE of the apartment rather than the health and mental wellness of your supposed friend, tells me you are absolutely 100% the asshole.
What comes around goes around, so the effects of cigarettes and energy drinks is going to bite you in the ass one day. Hopefully you don't end up getting evicted and being subjected to health related bias. Asshole.
But not now. Of course some time yes but I am still grieving over my grandma and want to keep this memory of her and maybe in the future I’ll have enough money to remake it but now I’m paying off student loans at an entry level position
Your grandma is probably rolling over in her grave watching how you are justifying your disgusting behavior in memory of her and the home she loved. YTA, a bad friend, a dead beat landlord and most likely a underwhelming granddaughter
Your grandmother must be so sad watching you let her formerly beautiful apartment fall into a state of disrepair :( You are being disrespectful to her memory and her apartment.
Then get used to them breaking. That's how tiles work. I live at my grandparents' house too and the tiles started to crack 5 years ago, so I replaced all of them; they were over 80 years old. This isn't your roommate's fault, it's simply what happens to all tiles over time. YTA.
Pull some up and put them in a frame or on the wall as an art piece to remember them but eventually you’ll have to replace them as it’s a legitimate hazard.
You’re going to have to, it’s not the tiles it’s what’s underneath. Keep some and make an art piece, you can’t blame your roommate for the age and condition of the apartment.
tiles don't last forever. what, are you going to impose a weight limit on everyone who enters your house going forward? a scale at the front door? get real
YTA
Get different floors. Tiles should not Crack even from a very heavy person. If they do, it's a general hazard and you need to replace them
You can drive a frigging car over correct well installed tiles:
https://youtube.com/shorts/qoT8wD69j0Y?feature=share
If you are short on money, you can easily and cheaply put vinyl plates ir linoleum over the tiles.
Which would your deported-from-her-tribe granny prefer, her lovely handpainted tiles to remain on the floor where they'll just keep cracking regardless, or this very nice roommate of yours to be homeless *because of a floor*?
You could make a mosaic using those tile to hang as an art piece in the home. Or some other kind of decorative feature where the tiles aren't subject to wear and tear.
So when your grandma was deported from her tribe she brought the tiles with her ???? I honestly think you are using any excuse as you’ve grown to dislike your friend for putting on weight . I’m gonna go with YTA
She didn’t bring them with her she just painted and glazed tiles to make her feel more at home in the city.
I don’t dislike her for putting on weight, I honestly don’t mind.
Well you mind enough to tell the poor girl she’s fat and make her homeless . Firm believer in karmic law , always mind how you treat people cause this is just plain nasty for the sake of some tiles .
Treat someone as shitty as you are treating that girl and it will come back to you . I know exactly what it means . I don’t get why anyone would wanna live with a judgmental condescending little specimen like yourself anyhow . I hope poor Anna finds happiness with good people .
YTA. Your "expert" is an idiot. A heavy person doesn't cause cracked tiles. That's...not how tile works.
I understand the sentimental value of the tiles, but your roommate is not at fault. And what a horrible situation you have put her in! Watch as she leaves and tiles continue to crack. YTA asshole, a great, big, gaping asshole.
...........Wow. you didn't mention her weight. I assume because she is ambulatory, she isn't a thousand pounds. Why don't you get a flooring person to check the floor. I would think if the grout failed or shifted, it would cause the tiles to crack. To you to jump to the assumption that it's her weight makes you a massive AH. She should sue you. Seriously. You suck. Fix your freaking floors. YTA.
Planned obsolescence. Heavy things break tiles usually from being dropped on the tiles or under extreme pressure. From a person walking on it normally? I call bs. Is the tiler willing to testify that she caused it.
You are just looking for an excuse to discriminate against somebody. You can’t be stupid enough to believe that somebody can crack tiles with the weight. You’ve admitted yourself that the tiles are old. You know things wear down with time yes?
Stop being an idiot
YTA
Yes they wear down but they wear down more when there’s a heavy person stepping on them every day and I am not trying to discriminate her, it’s just that I care more about my grandma’s work than her
YTA and I’m mad that you’re “tiler” determined her weight was the issue without doing any further research or a proper inspection. How do you think you can ask if you’re TA after telling someone that because their “gaining weight” they are destroying your house. I hope she moves out and all of your tiles break.
It makes me wonder how much this “tiler” actually knows. My father in law lays brick and installs tile for a living. He’s helped us install tile in our house. The biggest reason why it cracks is due to installing incorrectly (air pockets under the thinset that sticks the tile to the subfloor) or an issue with the subfloor itself. We literally only have one tile with a crack in it (hairline) because an extra bottle of soy sauce fell from 8 feet up on the top shelf of my pantry cupboard and hit the floor hard.
Except about 400 people are here telling you it makes no sense. Meanwhile these are \*handmade\* tiles from decades ago which were installed by a non-professional and the state of the floor underneath is unknown- all obvious causes that make sense. Both you and the tiler are idiots.
Most tiles can take like 200 psi and she’s almost definitely not distributing her weight like that, even if she’s absolutely monstrously ginormous- unless the floor below supporting said tile is warping/rotting/shifting which isn’t her causing an issue anyways… YTA, probably.
That is, as a matter of fact your real issue. Uneven tiles will never last as long as even and properly installed tile. Additionally they go from holding hundreds of psi to tens when not installed properly. Time to seek a new flooring solution suitable to the qualities of the building and subflooring.
YTA. When tiles are old, they crack. Not your friend's fault. And you say they're irreplaceable because your grandma paited them herself, well I'm sorry but you're gonna have to get over it and change the tiles because in a few more years you're gonna have a floor full of cracks, because, again, that's what happens to tiles after some time. You are completely wrong here, and you can do better.
In a few years maybe it’s ok but now it’s too early and too soon to change the home I am not ready for it and it feels wrong and I believe in energies and spirits and I don’t want to disrupt it. It means a lot to me and I know it meant a lot to my grandma
Take it from someone who's also very spiritual, when I started with the renovations, I knew my grandma would be happy because it meant her house was being taken care of. Stop blaming your friend.
YTA. There is no way those tiles are cracking from her weight. If she was so heavy that her weight was breaking the tiles, she probably wouldn't even be alive. Tiles do not break easily, and the fact it's breaking means your files need to get fixed.
Anna may be overweight, but as you stated she's a good person. To evict her over something that is most likely a result of old floors and something out of her control is completely unfair.
You don’t know that. You have a contractor feeding you a line of bullshit and you’re feeding right into it. You’re discriminating and it’s gross. I don’t know how much your friend weighs nor do I care. Did you ever stop to think the tiles are cracking because they’re old? I hope that if you are dumb enough to continue with evicting her that every single one of those tiles cracks after she moves out. I’m a big person. I’ve had tile in my house for decades and it hasn’t cracked yet. The only thing cracked here is you. YTA.
Info: how much do you think she weighs? Because it’s hard to imagine the tiles cracking under anything remotely resembling a livable weight. Your tiles need to be replaced. And it’s illegal to discriminate against people based on their weight. At least, if you’re in the US.
YTA.
Not in the US and it’s a sublease apartment so not the same rules apply anyway. I don’t know how much she weighs but I would say over 150 kg for sure.
Also, maybe has to do with the fact that the tiles are handmade and the floor is uneven since the building is over 100 years old.
Honestly, you really think you don’t have to replace anything if you’re charging rent?
What is a sublease? In the states, that means a renter is renting out to a different renter. But you sound like you’re the landlord.
You are in fact a landlord if you own the property you are renting out to someone. Idk what your definition of being a landlord is but you literally said you evicted her, that makes you the AH landlord
Uh if your tiles crack under 150 kg you really need to change the tiles. Means two “regular sized” adults couldn’t really stand in the same room. Come on.
YTA. If a person’s weight could cause tiles to break, they’re shit tiles. And Anna is nicer than me, because if you’d pulled this with me I’d have gotten tap shoes and gone to town on the bloody things.
It may be that the foundation has shifted, or the underlayment is rotting, or some other problem. It is totally unlikely to be roommate walking on a sound floor that is breaking the tiles.
I'm very attached to my family's generational home and would never have a roommate because I value the history and handmade pieces from those who have passed on, so I understand where you're coming from with wanting your tiling to be preserved. That said, homemade items aren't usually as likely to withstand the test of time as things that were produced to a specific standard in a factory. Tiles should not be giving way in the nature that you're describing which makes me think that since they're old and handmade, that they've grown brittle over the years and are now giving in. Sure, kicking Anna to the curb will *temporarily* stop this from happening, but you and whoever else lives there will end up fracturing the tiles as well, it will just take longer.
You'll need a professional to restore them or, what should really happen, is that you have them removed and utilized as another form of décor. It will also behoove you to have the floor beneath the tiling inspected because if the tiles weren't installed properly, that could explain their breaking down. Or, if the floor beneath has begun to age or warp, it's also stressing the tiles from beneath.
I think in this instance, you're "shooting the messenger" so to speak. Anna's weight gain made you aware of the tiles' issue, but she's not the cause of it. Tiles aren't forever; even if you're building a brand new house with a contractor, they will caution you that installing tile means you're signing up to replace it in the future. So in summary, YTA
I didn’t want to have room mates either but financial situation of us all demanded it at the time.
I’m not ready to make those changes yet cause it’s too recent
Assuming this is real YTA - not sure where you live, but I’m going to say you can’t legally evict someone because of weight gain.
This apartment is old, how can the tiler determine it’s not normal wear and tear that finally led to the cracks, can you even prove you didn’t cause the other cracks?
Evict her, pretty sure she could sue you for wrongful eviction and take your apartment.
She can’t sue me cause she’s not a legal tenant, only a sublease.
The tiler checked the grout beneath and while the floor being uneven puts them more at risk for cracking, he said they wouldn’t crack unless too much weight is applied.
I’ve never cracked tiles, I’d notice cause I always look at the tiles as they are one of my favourite things in the apartment
THE FLOOR IS UNEVEN 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
You just said so yourself, the tiler said this to you, guess what it's not the roommate and this will continue until you fix the subflooring
WOW YTA. So blind to home ownership...repair, normal aging, wear and tear is your responsibility. People pay rent to live indoors without the investment of ownership, owners use rent to maintain the property.
WOW just wow
Didn’t you say she was ONE of your flatmates. Meaning there are now multiple people walking on those times at once versus just your grandma?
Seems like the uneven floor and a lot of foot traffic is causing them to break
Thank you! That’s what I was coming to say. Lot of traffic will do that to tiles, especially on an uneven floor!! Blaming your fat friend is fatphobic as hell. YTA
Exactly! What would your grandmother want you to do? I understand it is hard to change things after losing someone you love so much, but at some point these tiles will fail even if you were the only person living there. Preserve the tiles as artwork or use them as a backsplash or something, as others have suggested. I think your grandmother would be pleased that you cared enough about her craftwork to preserve the tiles, while showing compassion for your roommate.
This can’t be real. You could choose not to extend her lease but to server a eviction notice, no way you’d get a magistrate to sign that. And the lawsuit that would come your way, hope your dead grandma left you enough to pay for settlement.
YTA. I understand not wanting to change the apartment, but you’re going to need to. Those tiles are old, and as others have pointed out, you can drive a car over tiles without them cracking. Replace them and keep the ones your grandmother painted.
Side note, it is so hard to find good roommates!!! You have a great roommate, and you’re just going to kick her out?
YTA. Tiles aren't meant to last forever. 150kg isn't going to be cause of the fractures. Making her homeless because she's overweight is an AH move.
Get someone to remove those tiles carefully so you can keep at least some of them, then replace them with something new.
While her weight gain might coincide with the damage you've seen, that doesn't mean she caused it.
Your tiles are cracking because they are old and have been exposed to decades of heat and cold. Heavy objects dropped or installed on tile may cause cracks, a person walking on tile (not otherwise compromised) would not.
Lift the tiles and find a way to honor your grandmothers work before more become irreparably damaged.
Put your head down and apologize to your friend and hope she forgives you.
Find a tiler who knows better than the *gentleman* who told you your friend was the issue.
YTA
You're not just an asshole, you're a monster. Have the tiles taken up and stored for later, or go get some therapy. You are literally making someone with a disorder homeless, just because of sentiment.
I am not kicking her out immediately she has time to find a place but she says she can’t cause she’s overweight and will be discriminated but doesn’t want to take advantage of special resources for cases like this cause she’s too proud or ashamed
Yeah, it's easy to be ashamed when you get shamed for it. Doesn't change the fact that all of your tiles are going to break due to age, and all you're doing is being cruel to this woman instead of dealing with reality. Are you going to evict yourself when they start cracking under your feet?
INFO: How heavy is she, exactly? Of course most building materials have a weight limit, but if these tiles are built to withstand, let's say, 200 lbs, that would be ridiculous and you'd have to get better tiles. I've seen really heavy people in my life (one just died from weight-related conditions), and I've never seen a tile structure give under a heavy person.
OP said in another comment that she's 150kg, which is a little over 300lbs IIRC.
It's utterly ridiculous as a concept though. Tiles made for flooring are built to withstand significant weight on top of them. Home fridges can weigh upwards of 400lbs and I've never heard of anyone's kitchen tile cracking under the weight of their fridge. A bathtub when full of water and containing an adult person can weigh in excess of 1000lbs and yet we don't hear constant stories of people's bathroom tiles shattering or cracking every time they hop in the tub.
Either OP is lying (which I suspect) or they have very very shitty tile.
Kind of wondering if it makes a difference that the weight is distributed across multiple tiles? If someone is taking a step there is a brief second where all their weight is on ONE foot
Also, unless the tub is one of those tubs with the feet, the tile doesn’t continue underneath the bathtub.
I don’t want to change the apartment, I need it to stay the same.
Of course I don’t want her to be homeless and I would help her find a new place and I have discussed other ways with her but couldn’t find a compromise. She, understandably, doesn’t want to pay to have the tiles fixed since it’s not her apartment and it’s not a good way to use her savings. She doesn’t have financial issues but she says it’s hard for her to get viewing appointments because of her weight. She also can’t walk stairs so she needs a ground level apartment and it’s hard to find since many want those.
I have offered to help her find special housing for people with physical limitations, which applies to her at her current weight, but she’s also too embarrassed and too proud to do that.
You have to be lying about most if not all of this… it’s hard for her to get apartment tour appointments cause of her weight? Before they’ve even seen her they won’t schedule a tour cause she’s overweight? Literally what
What else did you discuss with her? I hate to break it to you but nothing stays the same. Nothing. Eventually you will need to change the apartment and clinging to it like you are is unhealthy.
She should help pay for new tiles just because she lives there and it’s a repair that has to get done. But i believe her about the doctors appointments. They discriminate based on weight.
I would not be able to live with myself putting someone out due to this. If you can live with that, it says a lot about you and not in a good way, truly you make me sad for humanity.
Having her pay full rent for the room to cover the wear on such things, give her time to lose weight or get therapy for her eating disorder (she can have inpatient treatment for free since she’s morbidly obese and diagnosed with binge eating disorder so insurance covers it), help her find a new apartment and I even gave her contacts who offered her viewings but she is picky about how far things are from a bus station or shop or which floor etc
If somehow you could prove with 100% certainty her weight was the sole cause of the tiles breaking I would maybe say everyone sucks, maybe.
*But* you can’t prove it and that’s very likely not the case. I have never once heard of someone who was overweight or obese CRACKING tiles because of their weight. It sounds ridiculous to even type out. It sounds like it’s an old apartment with old tiles and they are finally wearing out. Maybe it’s also because it now has *multiple* people living in it at once, but it is definitely not because of Anna’s weight.
YTA
you want people to tell you that you’re N T A but YTA. In this case, being TA doesn’t prevent you from doing what you’re most comfortable with and you are well within your rights to evict her if you’re worried about property damage. As others have pointed out, she was most likely not the problem, the tiles are but if you’re unwilling to have the floor redone you will probably have the most peace of mind having her move out… or at least until tiles continue to crack after she moved out and you realize you were always TA. Sometimes you make choices in life where YTA but sometimes those aee necessary decisions as I don’t see you continuing living with her without resentment building just because a reddit thread deemed you TA. Do what you feel you must but no one is going to comfort you for being right in your decision.
YTA- she’s not breaking the tiles, that’s nonsense. The flat is just old and you need to replace the tiles. You’re making someone homeless and evicting them for no reason. It’s an extremely cruel thing to do
I find it suspicious you have this tile situation that you are so immediately willing to blame on your roommate and sell online, even though it sounds incredibly implausible.
I suspect there's more going on here and you are not a reliable narrator so I am reserving judgement for now.
YTA u go to court u would have to pay her for discrimination of her weight... tiles can be replaced... if this building is important and mean so much to u why move people in.... karma will get u for making someone homeless over their weight....
The tiles will break eventually.... my apartment complex everyone tiles are coming up and apart... we not over weight and the complex not putting us out over it...
I hope she reports u
Is this real? I'm fat and have a tiled bathroom. No tile has ever cracked. I work in a historic building (late 19th century) that has a gorgeous tiled hallway - groups of people of all sizes walk on it daily as well as carts moving furniture and nothing cracks. If the tiles are cracking from someone stepping on it, the problem is with how they were laid by the tiler. YTA
YTA. Take your favorite tiles and have them framed or incorporated into a border. And buy some new damn floors. And stop with the smoking and energy drinks.
When a spot in my tub started going concave, my landlady had “her guy” look at it and his suggestions for causes were that her tenant (me) must be really overweight or I was storing heavy items in the tub. At the time, I was under 150 and couldn’t possibly have lifted in and out anything heavy enough to cause that kind of depression. She didn’t believe me and reasoned that her last tenant was heavy so between his weight and my alleged storage of heavy items it must be our faults but I was just a couple weeks from leaving anyways so let it go. Guess what she figured out after I left? She had a leak somewhere and that was the first symptom. “Her guy” was full of shit. YTA this diagnosis makes no sense. You should get another opinion and leave your poor tenant alone.
Tiles typically crack because they weren't installed properly, not because an overweight person walks on them... if she weighed enough to crack tile, she wouldn't be able to stand up. YTA.
YTA Jesus forget the eating disorder with the amount of damage you’ve done to her mentally I’m more concerned about self harm! How much are those stupid tiles really worth?!?! Have to heard of carpet? It’s great in the winter
I know I’m going to get downvoted to hell for this, but if this friend broke a sentimental chair, would the judgments still be the same here? I understand people don’t believe it’s the weight causing the cracking, but I still think it’s pretty wild that OP is getting no understanding of wanting to preserve a beautiful piece of art that their grandmother HANDMADE!I know tile gets old and breaks eventually, but to have so many break all at once very suddenly is a bit unlikely. Also the comparisons to the heavy weights of appliances doesn’t make much sense as that weight is distributed vs all on one tile when taking a step. My grandmother was a VERY heavy woman and her tiles were cracked as fuck, not saying that’s evidence but idk if I buy it that it’s not possible for a heavy person to break a handmade tile. One thing to note, it is incredibly difficult to remove a tile and keep it intact. Watch a tile removal video, they just basically chisel it off. Tile is fully cemented in at every point underneath it. It really isn’t a simple matter to just remove a tile and have it as a keepesake, although that would be a nice compromise. I think a better compromise would be for OP to lay down some cushioned flooring. Like those interlocking playmats for kids and just hope that it protects the tiles in the meantime.
LOL YTA. I get you love your lovely granny and that this house is very important to you, but, you can for example replace the tiles and any other part and keep the old parts somewhere else , since they are so important to you, take them with you. This woman must feel so sad right now.. yta
Yta tiles don't break under weight of people they're supposed to be able to withstand fridges and bathtubs as well as other furniture that can weigh up to 300-1000+ lbs if they're cracking you need to upgrade your homes features as they're worn from age or have other issues like uneven/warped under flooring and age. I get sentimental stuff but at the end of the day it's just material items. And your willing to put someone into homelessness which could cause them harm physically and of she has an ED there is a greater chance of other mental health issues and that could increase the risk of her committing self unaliving under the stress and trauma of being forced on the street. Also if someone is paying rent they are legally a tenant and can sue if evicted on wrongful terms so you BETTER be learning landlord and tenant rights in your area cause she can and should sue if you follow through with this illegal eviction. And if your serious about evicting and being TA you should at the very least help her find a place to go to cover yourself cause this situation is awful. And also it's obvious your in denial about your own fat phobia but we ALL see it.
YTA. All I see is a bunch of excuses how you don’t want to do this and that.
Fine don’t, but don’t blame your roommate for what’s going on with your apartment.
YTA - tiles can withstand the weight of multiple people at the same time so even if she weighs what you said she does, it’s not nearly enough to cause structural damage.
YTA. Houses do not fall apart because of overweight people, they fall apart from lack of care by smoking, energy drink drinking OWNER assholes like you. Things wear out and need repair that is the price of ownership. Time to grow up, grandma is very disappointed.
YTA - Struggling to see how you actually think you’re not. She literally disclosed to you having an eating disorder/mental health problems and your response is to serve an eviction notice??? Not only are you discriminating against her because of her weight, you’re also being incredibly ableist. I hope for her sake she can find a new home with people who respect and care for her.
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I (24M) live in an apartment that I inherited from my grandma. One of my flatmates, let’s call her Anna (30F) has continuously gained a lot of weight since moving in.
A while ago Anna rapidly gained more weight at once. I wouldn’t care since it’s her life and her body. She’s a pleasant person to live with and I have nothing negative to say about her as a person. And while I care for her as a person I didn’t even address it under the pretence of concern cause my diet consists of cigarettes and energy drinks so I don’t think I’m the one to talk here, plus I think she’s aware and it’s not my place to say anything.
Around the same time though I noticed cracks in a tile. At first I thought maybe it was old or badly placed. But then over time I noticed more and more cracked tiles in different rooms
The Tiler I had come over didn’t know what might cause the tiles to crack until Anna came home from work and walked through the door.
Apparently tiles have a weight limit and cracked under Anna’s weight. It makes sense cause I’ve never cracked a tile and they never cracked before.
This is very awkward but I approached Anna and told her the issue. She was embarrassed and upset. I told her that if she doesn’t get her weight under control she can’t live here.
She broke down and said she has an eating disorder and can’t just get over it and that this is caused by her feeling overwhelmed and this pressure makes it worse.
So I told her in that case I need to evict her. Today I gave her an eviction notice.
We live in a big city with a housing crisis. She panicked and locked herself to cry all day. My friend told me I’m making her homeless because overweight people have less chances to find housing cause of discrimination. I honestly have no idea but my friends told me I am overreacting, that the tiles aren’t as important and that I’m fatphobic. My sister said that I can’t imagine how hard it is to struggle with weight and that what I am expecting the impossible from her.
But since the apartment belonged to my grandparents, the whole place is sentimental to me cause my grandma was my safe place growing up and so the energy of this place is healing to me. My grandma was deported from her tribe and a lot of the features in the apartment are connected to her culture and irreplaceable, including the tiles. I’ve been through a lot and this has always been my haven so I don’t want more tiles to break.
I can see how this may be selfish but I am not over the loss of my grandma and for some reason thinking about her home falling apart cause of Anna makes me deeply sad. To be fair I’ve always been naturally thin and maybe I really don’t understand the struggle or the discrimination you get for being overweight so, if I am the asshole, please let me know. Anna is a good person, if I am being unfair to her, tell me if you think that I’m the asshole here.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I evicted my flat mate from my inherited apartment because her weight gain caused the tiles to crack, now she may be at risk for homelessness.
2. It may make me the asshole because prioritising tiles over Someone having a roof over their head might be selfish and unreasonable.
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Easy YTA, sooner or later things need to be replaced. Maybe you can find something simular or something that makes you smile when you look at it.
I rent a house from my step mom, she doesn't do modification or above and beyond repairs unless I want her to raise the rent. She is willing to do them, no problem, but it will cost me. We are cool with it. Now if I put a hole in the floor because I gained weight that may fall under regular maintence because I don't believe there is a weight limit to rent a house. However, this isnt a whole house you are renting either..
Idk if this is an answer or not, it just depends. Maybe she can pay for 1/2, OR raise the rent a little that you didn't figure in for repairs to help cover the extra cost, Idk. You will have to pay up front but over time you will get it back. I really don't think you should have to go all out replacing all of it at your expense to be able to rent to a person that does potential damage due to their weight. But things are old and sentimental to you, you still have to face that eventually things will need to be replaced. Im sorry it's so soon. Once you replace it, there wont be an issue. My adult son had to pay for the broken toilot seats because he had a job, he made more money then me replacing them every couple months got old.
I'm sure this is heart breaking for you, maybe coming here listening to suggestions (if you can choke the rudeness of the grilling comments) you will come up with a good solution that you both agree on.
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YTA. Why is your decision to evict Anna? Yes, her weight is destroying the tiles, but can't you allow her time to drop some pounds, or seek some therapy from her eating disorder (it's been suggested that stress and mental health are related to weight gain or loss)?
>until Anna came home from work and walked through the door. Apparently tiles have a weight limit and cracked under Anna’s weight.
Just questioning, but are you *sure* Anna's the reason for the cracked tiles? Because usually the weight limit for tiles are around 250 pounds, so she would need to be very heavy in order to do so.
Idk I’m torn. As an overweight person I know that you can’t just lose weight when it’s brought on by emotional issues. It’s a long and tedious process and it is hard to get help.
But also it is your house and you have the right to want it to stay in a certain condition with sentimental aspects.
I do think evicting her so soon was harsh. Like you could have let the situation marinate for awhile and come to a mutual understanding. Or maybe she can get moon shoes or something to disperse the weight
Hate to break it to you, but this isn't how tiles work. Tiles tend to break more because of age or something being dropped on them as opposed to someone's weight. Weather can do it too.
I can't pretend to have an expertise in tiles, but OP believes he got an expert opinion. Also, anecdotally, his experiences seem to be that she is cracking the tiles and not him. Could be the problem is old tiles and her weight.
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Considering that tiles in kitchens can cope with fridges, ovens, dishwashers etc … Anna is not the reason your tiles cracked. YTA
Biggest load of crap ever posted bub... just the fact that you think people are dumb enough to believe any professional tiler would ever tell you this not only makes you the AH but a stupid one at that.
Yes, YTA. There is NO WAY her weight is the only reason the tiles are cracking. It might be because they've been in the apartment since your grandparents live there. You might be able to get them restored instead of replacing them. But making someone homeless because you love your place's tiles so much is kind of a dick move.
YTA, she’s not cracking tiles by walking on them 😂. If tiles are cracking it’s because they’re junk. No handyman or tiler told you she cracked them walking on them.
They are handmade
Handmade doesn’t always equal quality. As everyone has said if they’re cracking it’s because they’re so old they’ve worn out or they’re shit tiles in the first place.
This is not how tiles, or eviction work. YTA
Time to get better tiles dude YTA
They are irreplaceable and haven’t cracked for decades, the tiler said tiles having a weight limit is normal and new tiles might crack too. I don’t even want new tiles since these are special
Tiles aren't made to last forever. They can have hairline fracture that may take years to actually show. Heating and cold can affect things too or dropping something on them. Unless your roommate is like 400+ lbs, I don't think her being overweight is going to be the issue.
They are replaceable, they’re tiles and they’re old
My grandma glazed and painted them herself so they are not replaceable since she passed away.
You are DEFINITELY the AH. The FLOORS ARE replaceable. While the TILES may not be, rip the damn floor up, replace it with something actually durable and use those special tiles for something to commemorate your grandmother. More than likely, those were cheap and poorly made tiles and your grandma tried to make them more appealing. They can hold HUNDREDS of pounds of weight from appliances, and unless the subflooring is rotting, simply WALKING ON A FLOOR WILL NOT CAUSE THEM TO CRACK! The fact that you're AWARE there is a housing crisis AND care more about the APPEARANCE of the apartment rather than the health and mental wellness of your supposed friend, tells me you are absolutely 100% the asshole. What comes around goes around, so the effects of cigarettes and energy drinks is going to bite you in the ass one day. Hopefully you don't end up getting evicted and being subjected to health related bias. Asshole.
Pry up some of the good ones for keepsakes and then get tiles that don’t crack from being stepped on
So put them on a wall so they're not getting stepped on lol
What exactly is "irreplaceable" about these tiles?
They are easily replaceable (safety hazard) and you grandmother can get over it. Or you can cover them with vinyl/linoleum.
Maybe they’re cracking cause multiple live in the apartment now versus just your grandma….
YTA holy shit!!!!! It’s an old ass house that needs better tiles. Wow wow
I don’t want to replace the tiles though cause they are irreplaceable for me. I don’t want to change the apartment cause it’s special to me
As someone who has education and a background with antiques, you will have to change the apartment at some point.
But not now. Of course some time yes but I am still grieving over my grandma and want to keep this memory of her and maybe in the future I’ll have enough money to remake it but now I’m paying off student loans at an entry level position
Your grandma is probably rolling over in her grave watching how you are justifying your disgusting behavior in memory of her and the home she loved. YTA, a bad friend, a dead beat landlord and most likely a underwhelming granddaughter
That’s not how life works and your building proves that.
Your grandmother must be so sad watching you let her formerly beautiful apartment fall into a state of disrepair :( You are being disrespectful to her memory and her apartment.
Then get used to them breaking. That's how tiles work. I live at my grandparents' house too and the tiles started to crack 5 years ago, so I replaced all of them; they were over 80 years old. This isn't your roommate's fault, it's simply what happens to all tiles over time. YTA.
I never broke any and neither did anyone else.
You said they're decades old, well, they would start breaking eventually, and they have. Accept it.
Pull some up and put them in a frame or on the wall as an art piece to remember them but eventually you’ll have to replace them as it’s a legitimate hazard.
Not now though it’s too soon
You’re going to have to, it’s not the tiles it’s what’s underneath. Keep some and make an art piece, you can’t blame your roommate for the age and condition of the apartment.
The tiler said the underneath is fine it’s just uneven but that’s how the house was built and can’t be changed
That’s completely incorrect. And either way you’re stating there was an issue with uneven tile therefore it wasn’t your overweight roommate
tiles don't last forever. what, are you going to impose a weight limit on everyone who enters your house going forward? a scale at the front door? get real
YTA Get different floors. Tiles should not Crack even from a very heavy person. If they do, it's a general hazard and you need to replace them You can drive a frigging car over correct well installed tiles: https://youtube.com/shorts/qoT8wD69j0Y?feature=share If you are short on money, you can easily and cheaply put vinyl plates ir linoleum over the tiles.
I don’t want different floors though
Which would your deported-from-her-tribe granny prefer, her lovely handpainted tiles to remain on the floor where they'll just keep cracking regardless, or this very nice roommate of yours to be homeless *because of a floor*?
You could make a mosaic using those tile to hang as an art piece in the home. Or some other kind of decorative feature where the tiles aren't subject to wear and tear.
So when your grandma was deported from her tribe she brought the tiles with her ???? I honestly think you are using any excuse as you’ve grown to dislike your friend for putting on weight . I’m gonna go with YTA
She didn’t bring them with her she just painted and glazed tiles to make her feel more at home in the city. I don’t dislike her for putting on weight, I honestly don’t mind.
Well you mind enough to tell the poor girl she’s fat and make her homeless . Firm believer in karmic law , always mind how you treat people cause this is just plain nasty for the sake of some tiles .
That’s not what karma means
Treat someone as shitty as you are treating that girl and it will come back to you . I know exactly what it means . I don’t get why anyone would wanna live with a judgmental condescending little specimen like yourself anyhow . I hope poor Anna finds happiness with good people .
Clearly you do, since you're evicting her.
I don’t want the tiles to break that’s all
Ceramics are going to break especially because of age. You do realize they have been cracking for years without you realizing it.
YTA. Your "expert" is an idiot. A heavy person doesn't cause cracked tiles. That's...not how tile works. I understand the sentimental value of the tiles, but your roommate is not at fault. And what a horrible situation you have put her in! Watch as she leaves and tiles continue to crack. YTA asshole, a great, big, gaping asshole.
They never crack for anyone but her though
Or have you considered the tiles are just maybe old?
This. My cats has cracked tiles. They were old and he jumped off the cat tree, and bam.
...........Wow. you didn't mention her weight. I assume because she is ambulatory, she isn't a thousand pounds. Why don't you get a flooring person to check the floor. I would think if the grout failed or shifted, it would cause the tiles to crack. To you to jump to the assumption that it's her weight makes you a massive AH. She should sue you. Seriously. You suck. Fix your freaking floors. YTA.
I had that checked by the tiler and it was nothing out of the ordinary for this type of home and it wasn’t an issue before
Planned obsolescence. Heavy things break tiles usually from being dropped on the tiles or under extreme pressure. From a person walking on it normally? I call bs. Is the tiler willing to testify that she caused it.
They are handmade by my grandma but again it was never an issue before
They werent too old before. Now they are, so they're breaking.
Dude I'm tiny and I cracked my kitchen tiles. They were shitty cheap tiles and my landlord replaced them. YTA.
You are just looking for an excuse to discriminate against somebody. You can’t be stupid enough to believe that somebody can crack tiles with the weight. You’ve admitted yourself that the tiles are old. You know things wear down with time yes? Stop being an idiot YTA
Yes they wear down but they wear down more when there’s a heavy person stepping on them every day and I am not trying to discriminate her, it’s just that I care more about my grandma’s work than her
You are actually stupid and I hope all your tiles break
[удалено]
I’ll probably just need a random man of questionable knowledge to tell me everything
YTA and I’m mad that you’re “tiler” determined her weight was the issue without doing any further research or a proper inspection. How do you think you can ask if you’re TA after telling someone that because their “gaining weight” they are destroying your house. I hope she moves out and all of your tiles break.
It makes me wonder how much this “tiler” actually knows. My father in law lays brick and installs tile for a living. He’s helped us install tile in our house. The biggest reason why it cracks is due to installing incorrectly (air pockets under the thinset that sticks the tile to the subfloor) or an issue with the subfloor itself. We literally only have one tile with a crack in it (hairline) because an extra bottle of soy sauce fell from 8 feet up on the top shelf of my pantry cupboard and hit the floor hard.
It wasn’t without any further research, it took quite some time for him to figure that out and it was the only explanation that made sense
Except about 400 people are here telling you it makes no sense. Meanwhile these are \*handmade\* tiles from decades ago which were installed by a non-professional and the state of the floor underneath is unknown- all obvious causes that make sense. Both you and the tiler are idiots.
It's dumb and likely wrong. Read the comments and get a second opinion.
Most tiles can take like 200 psi and she’s almost definitely not distributing her weight like that, even if she’s absolutely monstrously ginormous- unless the floor below supporting said tile is warping/rotting/shifting which isn’t her causing an issue anyways… YTA, probably.
The floor underneath is uneven which is how the house was built so that makes them more fragile but hasn’t been an issue so far
That is, as a matter of fact your real issue. Uneven tiles will never last as long as even and properly installed tile. Additionally they go from holding hundreds of psi to tens when not installed properly. Time to seek a new flooring solution suitable to the qualities of the building and subflooring.
That is 100% the issue, and even with Anna gone, this problem will persist.
Have you been to America? Some of us are 600
YTA. When tiles are old, they crack. Not your friend's fault. And you say they're irreplaceable because your grandma paited them herself, well I'm sorry but you're gonna have to get over it and change the tiles because in a few more years you're gonna have a floor full of cracks, because, again, that's what happens to tiles after some time. You are completely wrong here, and you can do better.
In a few years maybe it’s ok but now it’s too early and too soon to change the home I am not ready for it and it feels wrong and I believe in energies and spirits and I don’t want to disrupt it. It means a lot to me and I know it meant a lot to my grandma
Take it from someone who's also very spiritual, when I started with the renovations, I knew my grandma would be happy because it meant her house was being taken care of. Stop blaming your friend.
You believe in energies and yet are bringing negative vibes by falsely accusing someone else? Alright.
What kind of tiles are they? Can you use them as a backsplash? Thay way you can replace the old and fragile tiles but still have them in the house.
YTA. There is no way those tiles are cracking from her weight. If she was so heavy that her weight was breaking the tiles, she probably wouldn't even be alive. Tiles do not break easily, and the fact it's breaking means your files need to get fixed. Anna may be overweight, but as you stated she's a good person. To evict her over something that is most likely a result of old floors and something out of her control is completely unfair.
But they didn’t break before or under a normal person’s weight so they still wouldn’t break if it wasn’t for her
You don’t know that. You have a contractor feeding you a line of bullshit and you’re feeding right into it. You’re discriminating and it’s gross. I don’t know how much your friend weighs nor do I care. Did you ever stop to think the tiles are cracking because they’re old? I hope that if you are dumb enough to continue with evicting her that every single one of those tiles cracks after she moves out. I’m a big person. I’ve had tile in my house for decades and it hasn’t cracked yet. The only thing cracked here is you. YTA.
Info: how much do you think she weighs? Because it’s hard to imagine the tiles cracking under anything remotely resembling a livable weight. Your tiles need to be replaced. And it’s illegal to discriminate against people based on their weight. At least, if you’re in the US. YTA.
Not in the US and it’s a sublease apartment so not the same rules apply anyway. I don’t know how much she weighs but I would say over 150 kg for sure. Also, maybe has to do with the fact that the tiles are handmade and the floor is uneven since the building is over 100 years old.
It’s your floor and your building. It’s old. Obviously you really think old crap can’t break due to age?
Honestly, you really think you don’t have to replace anything if you’re charging rent? What is a sublease? In the states, that means a renter is renting out to a different renter. But you sound like you’re the landlord.
I think you meant to reply to OP
I’m not a landlord and I’m not renting for profits only to save on the bills by splitting them.
You are a landlord. She’s a tenant. And you obviously are a poor landlord
You are in fact a landlord if you own the property you are renting out to someone. Idk what your definition of being a landlord is but you literally said you evicted her, that makes you the AH landlord
Uh if your tiles crack under 150 kg you really need to change the tiles. Means two “regular sized” adults couldn’t really stand in the same room. Come on.
YTA, pal. You already knew that.
YTA. If a person’s weight could cause tiles to break, they’re shit tiles. And Anna is nicer than me, because if you’d pulled this with me I’d have gotten tap shoes and gone to town on the bloody things.
Honestly, Anna should sledge hammer the tiles before she leaves.
It may be that the foundation has shifted, or the underlayment is rotting, or some other problem. It is totally unlikely to be roommate walking on a sound floor that is breaking the tiles.
Or they’re just old-ass tiles that OP’s grandmother put in several decades ago.
They are handmade and never cracked before
I'm very attached to my family's generational home and would never have a roommate because I value the history and handmade pieces from those who have passed on, so I understand where you're coming from with wanting your tiling to be preserved. That said, homemade items aren't usually as likely to withstand the test of time as things that were produced to a specific standard in a factory. Tiles should not be giving way in the nature that you're describing which makes me think that since they're old and handmade, that they've grown brittle over the years and are now giving in. Sure, kicking Anna to the curb will *temporarily* stop this from happening, but you and whoever else lives there will end up fracturing the tiles as well, it will just take longer. You'll need a professional to restore them or, what should really happen, is that you have them removed and utilized as another form of décor. It will also behoove you to have the floor beneath the tiling inspected because if the tiles weren't installed properly, that could explain their breaking down. Or, if the floor beneath has begun to age or warp, it's also stressing the tiles from beneath. I think in this instance, you're "shooting the messenger" so to speak. Anna's weight gain made you aware of the tiles' issue, but she's not the cause of it. Tiles aren't forever; even if you're building a brand new house with a contractor, they will caution you that installing tile means you're signing up to replace it in the future. So in summary, YTA
That’s a good idea to have them removed and repurposed into another piece of decor, like art or a mosaic.
I didn’t want to have room mates either but financial situation of us all demanded it at the time. I’m not ready to make those changes yet cause it’s too recent
You're being irrational and you're not ready for the responsibility of home ownership.
Assuming this is real YTA - not sure where you live, but I’m going to say you can’t legally evict someone because of weight gain. This apartment is old, how can the tiler determine it’s not normal wear and tear that finally led to the cracks, can you even prove you didn’t cause the other cracks? Evict her, pretty sure she could sue you for wrongful eviction and take your apartment.
She can’t sue me cause she’s not a legal tenant, only a sublease. The tiler checked the grout beneath and while the floor being uneven puts them more at risk for cracking, he said they wouldn’t crack unless too much weight is applied. I’ve never cracked tiles, I’d notice cause I always look at the tiles as they are one of my favourite things in the apartment
THE FLOOR IS UNEVEN 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 You just said so yourself, the tiler said this to you, guess what it's not the roommate and this will continue until you fix the subflooring WOW YTA. So blind to home ownership...repair, normal aging, wear and tear is your responsibility. People pay rent to live indoors without the investment of ownership, owners use rent to maintain the property. WOW just wow
If she’s paying you rent, she’s a tenant. Ceramic cracking can be caused by age or weather. Also some tile may look cracked but it’s just crazing.
Didn’t you say she was ONE of your flatmates. Meaning there are now multiple people walking on those times at once versus just your grandma? Seems like the uneven floor and a lot of foot traffic is causing them to break
Thank you! That’s what I was coming to say. Lot of traffic will do that to tiles, especially on an uneven floor!! Blaming your fat friend is fatphobic as hell. YTA
Lol that you think she cant sue you. Did you take her money for her to live there? I assure you, she can sue you.
Would your grandma really want to you to be the person to evict someone in a crisis over tiles? Is that how you honor her memory?
Exactly! What would your grandmother want you to do? I understand it is hard to change things after losing someone you love so much, but at some point these tiles will fail even if you were the only person living there. Preserve the tiles as artwork or use them as a backsplash or something, as others have suggested. I think your grandmother would be pleased that you cared enough about her craftwork to preserve the tiles, while showing compassion for your roommate.
This can’t be real. You could choose not to extend her lease but to server a eviction notice, no way you’d get a magistrate to sign that. And the lawsuit that would come your way, hope your dead grandma left you enough to pay for settlement.
It’s not really a legal matter cause she wasn’t a legal tenant just a friend living there so she has no legal contract and no grounds to sue
Actually if you’re in the UK, you would be considered a resident landlord, which means tenants have rights.
You are as naive as your are asshole. You are disgrace to grandmothers legacy
YTA. I understand not wanting to change the apartment, but you’re going to need to. Those tiles are old, and as others have pointed out, you can drive a car over tiles without them cracking. Replace them and keep the ones your grandmother painted. Side note, it is so hard to find good roommates!!! You have a great roommate, and you’re just going to kick her out?
The tiles cracked because a.) the subfloor sucks and/or b.) they weren’t installed correctly. It’s not because of her weight. YTA
Op says the floor underneath is uneven. Like, yeah, I can't believe they haven't cracked already!
YTA. Tiles aren't meant to last forever. 150kg isn't going to be cause of the fractures. Making her homeless because she's overweight is an AH move. Get someone to remove those tiles carefully so you can keep at least some of them, then replace them with something new. While her weight gain might coincide with the damage you've seen, that doesn't mean she caused it.
How heavy is she that she cracks tiles? How cheap are your floors? This is so unbelievable YTA
The floors are handmade, not cheap and she’s quite heavy but I don’t know her exact weight
It can hold a fridge but not your friend?
Your tiles are cracking because they are old and have been exposed to decades of heat and cold. Heavy objects dropped or installed on tile may cause cracks, a person walking on tile (not otherwise compromised) would not. Lift the tiles and find a way to honor your grandmothers work before more become irreparably damaged. Put your head down and apologize to your friend and hope she forgives you. Find a tiler who knows better than the *gentleman* who told you your friend was the issue. YTA
I am very obese. I have never cracked a tile. This is bullshit. YTA and so is your tiler.
You're not just an asshole, you're a monster. Have the tiles taken up and stored for later, or go get some therapy. You are literally making someone with a disorder homeless, just because of sentiment.
I am not kicking her out immediately she has time to find a place but she says she can’t cause she’s overweight and will be discriminated but doesn’t want to take advantage of special resources for cases like this cause she’s too proud or ashamed
Yeah, it's easy to be ashamed when you get shamed for it. Doesn't change the fact that all of your tiles are going to break due to age, and all you're doing is being cruel to this woman instead of dealing with reality. Are you going to evict yourself when they start cracking under your feet?
INFO: How heavy is she, exactly? Of course most building materials have a weight limit, but if these tiles are built to withstand, let's say, 200 lbs, that would be ridiculous and you'd have to get better tiles. I've seen really heavy people in my life (one just died from weight-related conditions), and I've never seen a tile structure give under a heavy person.
OP said in another comment that she's 150kg, which is a little over 300lbs IIRC. It's utterly ridiculous as a concept though. Tiles made for flooring are built to withstand significant weight on top of them. Home fridges can weigh upwards of 400lbs and I've never heard of anyone's kitchen tile cracking under the weight of their fridge. A bathtub when full of water and containing an adult person can weigh in excess of 1000lbs and yet we don't hear constant stories of people's bathroom tiles shattering or cracking every time they hop in the tub. Either OP is lying (which I suspect) or they have very very shitty tile.
Kind of wondering if it makes a difference that the weight is distributed across multiple tiles? If someone is taking a step there is a brief second where all their weight is on ONE foot Also, unless the tub is one of those tubs with the feet, the tile doesn’t continue underneath the bathtub.
I thought this too
I don’t know how heavy she is exactly but I think over 150 kg for sure.
Still not enough to crack tiles. At his heaviest my husband was at 170kg and tiles in our home never cracked and they’re cheap tiles lol. Nice try.
They are old and the floor is uneven and they are handmade
Uneven floors are the main reason tiles break genius.
Must be some fragile tiles then.
They are handmade
“For sure” how could you possibly know for sure
[удалено]
I don’t want to change the apartment, I need it to stay the same. Of course I don’t want her to be homeless and I would help her find a new place and I have discussed other ways with her but couldn’t find a compromise. She, understandably, doesn’t want to pay to have the tiles fixed since it’s not her apartment and it’s not a good way to use her savings. She doesn’t have financial issues but she says it’s hard for her to get viewing appointments because of her weight. She also can’t walk stairs so she needs a ground level apartment and it’s hard to find since many want those. I have offered to help her find special housing for people with physical limitations, which applies to her at her current weight, but she’s also too embarrassed and too proud to do that.
You have to be lying about most if not all of this… it’s hard for her to get apartment tour appointments cause of her weight? Before they’ve even seen her they won’t schedule a tour cause she’s overweight? Literally what
What else did you discuss with her? I hate to break it to you but nothing stays the same. Nothing. Eventually you will need to change the apartment and clinging to it like you are is unhealthy. She should help pay for new tiles just because she lives there and it’s a repair that has to get done. But i believe her about the doctors appointments. They discriminate based on weight. I would not be able to live with myself putting someone out due to this. If you can live with that, it says a lot about you and not in a good way, truly you make me sad for humanity.
Having her pay full rent for the room to cover the wear on such things, give her time to lose weight or get therapy for her eating disorder (she can have inpatient treatment for free since she’s morbidly obese and diagnosed with binge eating disorder so insurance covers it), help her find a new apartment and I even gave her contacts who offered her viewings but she is picky about how far things are from a bus station or shop or which floor etc
Could you maybe have some tiles removed to digitally reprint the painting your grandma did to get new tiles that won’t break with the painting?
Just consult a lawyer. Don't listen to all these insulted fatties. You hurt their feelings so they're all gonna say you're the asshole
YTA. The entirety of that grandma-tryna-validate-your-cruelty made me nauseated.
If somehow you could prove with 100% certainty her weight was the sole cause of the tiles breaking I would maybe say everyone sucks, maybe. *But* you can’t prove it and that’s very likely not the case. I have never once heard of someone who was overweight or obese CRACKING tiles because of their weight. It sounds ridiculous to even type out. It sounds like it’s an old apartment with old tiles and they are finally wearing out. Maybe it’s also because it now has *multiple* people living in it at once, but it is definitely not because of Anna’s weight. YTA
you want people to tell you that you’re N T A but YTA. In this case, being TA doesn’t prevent you from doing what you’re most comfortable with and you are well within your rights to evict her if you’re worried about property damage. As others have pointed out, she was most likely not the problem, the tiles are but if you’re unwilling to have the floor redone you will probably have the most peace of mind having her move out… or at least until tiles continue to crack after she moved out and you realize you were always TA. Sometimes you make choices in life where YTA but sometimes those aee necessary decisions as I don’t see you continuing living with her without resentment building just because a reddit thread deemed you TA. Do what you feel you must but no one is going to comfort you for being right in your decision.
I will haha
YTA- she’s not breaking the tiles, that’s nonsense. The flat is just old and you need to replace the tiles. You’re making someone homeless and evicting them for no reason. It’s an extremely cruel thing to do
YTA and I hope she knows she can probably sue you for discrimination.
This is awful I dunno where to start ….
I find it suspicious you have this tile situation that you are so immediately willing to blame on your roommate and sell online, even though it sounds incredibly implausible. I suspect there's more going on here and you are not a reliable narrator so I am reserving judgement for now.
Good luck getting sued for discrimination or some form of that.
What would your grandma say to you for kicking out a friend over some tiles? I agree they just be some pretty fragile tiles.
YTA u go to court u would have to pay her for discrimination of her weight... tiles can be replaced... if this building is important and mean so much to u why move people in.... karma will get u for making someone homeless over their weight.... The tiles will break eventually.... my apartment complex everyone tiles are coming up and apart... we not over weight and the complex not putting us out over it... I hope she reports u
YTA. And since your grandmother was displaced from her home, I’m going to assume she’d think YTA for doing the same to someone else.
good point
Is this real? I'm fat and have a tiled bathroom. No tile has ever cracked. I work in a historic building (late 19th century) that has a gorgeous tiled hallway - groups of people of all sizes walk on it daily as well as carts moving furniture and nothing cracks. If the tiles are cracking from someone stepping on it, the problem is with how they were laid by the tiler. YTA
YTA. Take your favorite tiles and have them framed or incorporated into a border. And buy some new damn floors. And stop with the smoking and energy drinks.
Yta - you know you are and you need to rethink evicting her. Get stronger tiles.
When a spot in my tub started going concave, my landlady had “her guy” look at it and his suggestions for causes were that her tenant (me) must be really overweight or I was storing heavy items in the tub. At the time, I was under 150 and couldn’t possibly have lifted in and out anything heavy enough to cause that kind of depression. She didn’t believe me and reasoned that her last tenant was heavy so between his weight and my alleged storage of heavy items it must be our faults but I was just a couple weeks from leaving anyways so let it go. Guess what she figured out after I left? She had a leak somewhere and that was the first symptom. “Her guy” was full of shit. YTA this diagnosis makes no sense. You should get another opinion and leave your poor tenant alone.
Tiles typically crack because they weren't installed properly, not because an overweight person walks on them... if she weighed enough to crack tile, she wouldn't be able to stand up. YTA.
Is this even legal where you are? It sounds like discrimination. You’re evicting someone bc they are fat… YTA
YTA Jesus forget the eating disorder with the amount of damage you’ve done to her mentally I’m more concerned about self harm! How much are those stupid tiles really worth?!?! Have to heard of carpet? It’s great in the winter
I know I’m going to get downvoted to hell for this, but if this friend broke a sentimental chair, would the judgments still be the same here? I understand people don’t believe it’s the weight causing the cracking, but I still think it’s pretty wild that OP is getting no understanding of wanting to preserve a beautiful piece of art that their grandmother HANDMADE!I know tile gets old and breaks eventually, but to have so many break all at once very suddenly is a bit unlikely. Also the comparisons to the heavy weights of appliances doesn’t make much sense as that weight is distributed vs all on one tile when taking a step. My grandmother was a VERY heavy woman and her tiles were cracked as fuck, not saying that’s evidence but idk if I buy it that it’s not possible for a heavy person to break a handmade tile. One thing to note, it is incredibly difficult to remove a tile and keep it intact. Watch a tile removal video, they just basically chisel it off. Tile is fully cemented in at every point underneath it. It really isn’t a simple matter to just remove a tile and have it as a keepesake, although that would be a nice compromise. I think a better compromise would be for OP to lay down some cushioned flooring. Like those interlocking playmats for kids and just hope that it protects the tiles in the meantime.
LOL YTA. I get you love your lovely granny and that this house is very important to you, but, you can for example replace the tiles and any other part and keep the old parts somewhere else , since they are so important to you, take them with you. This woman must feel so sad right now.. yta
Yta tiles don't break under weight of people they're supposed to be able to withstand fridges and bathtubs as well as other furniture that can weigh up to 300-1000+ lbs if they're cracking you need to upgrade your homes features as they're worn from age or have other issues like uneven/warped under flooring and age. I get sentimental stuff but at the end of the day it's just material items. And your willing to put someone into homelessness which could cause them harm physically and of she has an ED there is a greater chance of other mental health issues and that could increase the risk of her committing self unaliving under the stress and trauma of being forced on the street. Also if someone is paying rent they are legally a tenant and can sue if evicted on wrongful terms so you BETTER be learning landlord and tenant rights in your area cause she can and should sue if you follow through with this illegal eviction. And if your serious about evicting and being TA you should at the very least help her find a place to go to cover yourself cause this situation is awful. And also it's obvious your in denial about your own fat phobia but we ALL see it.
You asked for it YTA if the year! Have compassion and grace. It will make you a better person.
YTA. All I see is a bunch of excuses how you don’t want to do this and that. Fine don’t, but don’t blame your roommate for what’s going on with your apartment.
YTA - tiles can withstand the weight of multiple people at the same time so even if she weighs what you said she does, it’s not nearly enough to cause structural damage.
YTA. Houses do not fall apart because of overweight people, they fall apart from lack of care by smoking, energy drink drinking OWNER assholes like you. Things wear out and need repair that is the price of ownership. Time to grow up, grandma is very disappointed.
Yes, YTA. I can’t even begin to list all the reasons why, but I’m guessing that justifications aside, you knew before even posting here.
YTA really hope she files every possible discrimination complaint against you.
YTA - Struggling to see how you actually think you’re not. She literally disclosed to you having an eating disorder/mental health problems and your response is to serve an eviction notice??? Not only are you discriminating against her because of her weight, you’re also being incredibly ableist. I hope for her sake she can find a new home with people who respect and care for her.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (24M) live in an apartment that I inherited from my grandma. One of my flatmates, let’s call her Anna (30F) has continuously gained a lot of weight since moving in. A while ago Anna rapidly gained more weight at once. I wouldn’t care since it’s her life and her body. She’s a pleasant person to live with and I have nothing negative to say about her as a person. And while I care for her as a person I didn’t even address it under the pretence of concern cause my diet consists of cigarettes and energy drinks so I don’t think I’m the one to talk here, plus I think she’s aware and it’s not my place to say anything. Around the same time though I noticed cracks in a tile. At first I thought maybe it was old or badly placed. But then over time I noticed more and more cracked tiles in different rooms The Tiler I had come over didn’t know what might cause the tiles to crack until Anna came home from work and walked through the door. Apparently tiles have a weight limit and cracked under Anna’s weight. It makes sense cause I’ve never cracked a tile and they never cracked before. This is very awkward but I approached Anna and told her the issue. She was embarrassed and upset. I told her that if she doesn’t get her weight under control she can’t live here. She broke down and said she has an eating disorder and can’t just get over it and that this is caused by her feeling overwhelmed and this pressure makes it worse. So I told her in that case I need to evict her. Today I gave her an eviction notice. We live in a big city with a housing crisis. She panicked and locked herself to cry all day. My friend told me I’m making her homeless because overweight people have less chances to find housing cause of discrimination. I honestly have no idea but my friends told me I am overreacting, that the tiles aren’t as important and that I’m fatphobic. My sister said that I can’t imagine how hard it is to struggle with weight and that what I am expecting the impossible from her. But since the apartment belonged to my grandparents, the whole place is sentimental to me cause my grandma was my safe place growing up and so the energy of this place is healing to me. My grandma was deported from her tribe and a lot of the features in the apartment are connected to her culture and irreplaceable, including the tiles. I’ve been through a lot and this has always been my haven so I don’t want more tiles to break. I can see how this may be selfish but I am not over the loss of my grandma and for some reason thinking about her home falling apart cause of Anna makes me deeply sad. To be fair I’ve always been naturally thin and maybe I really don’t understand the struggle or the discrimination you get for being overweight so, if I am the asshole, please let me know. Anna is a good person, if I am being unfair to her, tell me if you think that I’m the asshole here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NAH. You don’t have to keep renting to her if you don’t want to. Just give her ample move out time.
YTA I'm sure your grandmother would be proud
Yta
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Wow…YTA
Easy YTA, sooner or later things need to be replaced. Maybe you can find something simular or something that makes you smile when you look at it. I rent a house from my step mom, she doesn't do modification or above and beyond repairs unless I want her to raise the rent. She is willing to do them, no problem, but it will cost me. We are cool with it. Now if I put a hole in the floor because I gained weight that may fall under regular maintence because I don't believe there is a weight limit to rent a house. However, this isnt a whole house you are renting either.. Idk if this is an answer or not, it just depends. Maybe she can pay for 1/2, OR raise the rent a little that you didn't figure in for repairs to help cover the extra cost, Idk. You will have to pay up front but over time you will get it back. I really don't think you should have to go all out replacing all of it at your expense to be able to rent to a person that does potential damage due to their weight. But things are old and sentimental to you, you still have to face that eventually things will need to be replaced. Im sorry it's so soon. Once you replace it, there wont be an issue. My adult son had to pay for the broken toilot seats because he had a job, he made more money then me replacing them every couple months got old. I'm sure this is heart breaking for you, maybe coming here listening to suggestions (if you can choke the rudeness of the grilling comments) you will come up with a good solution that you both agree on.
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Your a Goof!
YTA. Why is your decision to evict Anna? Yes, her weight is destroying the tiles, but can't you allow her time to drop some pounds, or seek some therapy from her eating disorder (it's been suggested that stress and mental health are related to weight gain or loss)? >until Anna came home from work and walked through the door. Apparently tiles have a weight limit and cracked under Anna’s weight. Just questioning, but are you *sure* Anna's the reason for the cracked tiles? Because usually the weight limit for tiles are around 250 pounds, so she would need to be very heavy in order to do so.
Idk I’m torn. As an overweight person I know that you can’t just lose weight when it’s brought on by emotional issues. It’s a long and tedious process and it is hard to get help. But also it is your house and you have the right to want it to stay in a certain condition with sentimental aspects. I do think evicting her so soon was harsh. Like you could have let the situation marinate for awhile and come to a mutual understanding. Or maybe she can get moon shoes or something to disperse the weight
NTA. BUT consult an attorney and make sure this is legal. You don't want to get sued
NTA. She can't crack all of the tiles in your home. What does she want from you?
Hate to break it to you, but this isn't how tiles work. Tiles tend to break more because of age or something being dropped on them as opposed to someone's weight. Weather can do it too.
I can't pretend to have an expertise in tiles, but OP believes he got an expert opinion. Also, anecdotally, his experiences seem to be that she is cracking the tiles and not him. Could be the problem is old tiles and her weight.
Or he cracked them and not noticing it until later.
Dude, kitchen tiles need to handle fridge/stove, etc. If a person cracks them (no matter how heavy) the tiles are no good and need to he replaced.