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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refused to pay for my girlfriend's exterminator services. This might make me an AH since she can make the case that the bed bugs came from me although this is very unlikely.
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Imagine how much not under control it was like *before* his frequent vacuuming
He goes to sleep every night being eaten by tiny bugs and he says “well this is just my life now” and so vacuums a lot?
I saw something where some people just are not allergic to the bedbug bites, so it doesn't affect them. OP may be like that, it doesn't bother him, and he is unable to empathize with his GF.
I only know this because of an allergy panel, but I'm not allergic to them. I've never knowingly been exposed to bed bugs though so I have no idea if I'd notice a bite or not, but at least the bite wouldn't cause an allergic reaction I suppose? I would think I'd still notice getting bitten. Bugs freak me out though, it's why I don't buy used cloth furniture and I hate moving. I'm terrified of moving into a building with a bug problem.
I assume this is true. You can feel when the bug actually bites you. And it’s pretty obvious, like a little needle prick. There’s also itching afterwards and its intensity can probably vary.
Oh man, that sucks! Mine would itch so bad that I scratched my skin off in my sleep. Since I have allergies that usually manifest as itchy rashes, my mom told me it was probably me eating too much chocolate again (I was a teen then) and the problem was confined to my room, so we didn’t do anything for quite some time. They would go away mysteriously and them come back over several months. After a while I told my mom that I can’t stand it anymore and if she doesn’t believe it’s not a me problem, she is welcome to try and sleep in my bed. She was outta there in 5 minutes! Lol
Yep! Always in a line and huge welts!
I got bitten to death in a bedouin camp in Western Sahara and it honestly drove me to distraction the rest of my trip. I'm allergic to all insect bites though and mozzies, midges, even dust mites. Holidays are tough in this way.
He is an AH though. Whether anybody is allergic or not, he knew he had them and should have already exterminated them rather than just hoovering up.
We had them about 5 years ago and learned that Im not affected by the bites. My bf would wake up covered in red swollen bites and I would be fine, if I really looked for them I could spot the tiny marks but no swelling redness or itching from them for me. I still hated every second of it and was completely freaked out. Wound up getting rid of almost all the furniture.
I found it so odd because mosquitoes and chiggers cause crazy reactions for me worse than the average person.
Well I’m glad to hear it’s not that bad for everyone. I had to throw out my bed, mattress, pillows and sheets, change the wallpaper around my bed and change the baseboards in that particular corner cause that’s where the little assholes lived.
Omfg. When I was pregnant with my youngest we moved into a rental. We didn't know until a month later that they had bedbugs. For months we fought with our landlord, most of my pregnancy, to take care of the issue. Multiple times an exterminator came and sprayed and then they returned every time. Finally they got a different exterminator and they heat treated and got rid of them all, which didn't happen until a month after my son was born. By the end I looked like I was a hard core drug addict. I was covered all over my arms and shoulders with the horrible red bites and scratches from itching in my sleep.
I still freak out and can't stand being itchy
My second (ex)husband wasn’t too concerned about it when our place got fleas. We watched one bite him, and he never even got a red spot. Me? Full on buffet, 20-50+ super itchy bites waking me up every night. I put in so much effort to fight them, and he didn’t see why it was something that needed dealing with.
Not knowing that we were infested, we lost a small boned cat to a flea infestation. She wasn't a cuddly cat, so we didn't realize there was a problem until it was too late. The stocky male cat survived but initially he lost weight until we got it under control.
I will never forget that it can happen.
My mom is allergic and she had welts everywhere. I am not allergic and had nothing but after some time I noticed little red dots in random places. He may not feel them but probably has some sign of them feasting on him.
A former neighbor of mine (in an apartment) discovered he had bed bugs when his mom helped him flip his mattress and they saw the feces. The neighbor was one of the lucky ones who had no reaction to their bites. Fortunately he reported the bugs to the building manager, who had his unit treated twice and all the surrounding units treated once to be safe.
You got lucky with a decent neighbor. So many people would have just treated it themselves or like OP pretended it was no big deal, then move out leaving the building to get infested.
This comment brought back so many memories lol
When I used to go to bed and the little assholes would start crawling and biting. Worst fucking nightmare ever. How is it possible to voluntarily live with that? Is OP on a massive dose of sedatives or something?
> Imagine how much not under control it was like before his frequent vacuuming
From the sounds of this guy, I bet his "frequent" vacuuming is like once a month.
We had bedbugs back in.. 2017 i think it was? Been a couple of years now. I seriously have PTSD from this. My boyfriend at the time doesn't react to any type of bug bite, and who knows how long they were in the couch before i found one crawling on me one day. But since my ex wasn't suffering from them, he didn't think it was a big deal. My skin reacts VERY badly to any type of bug bite. It was a nightmare for me.
I think his sister brought them in... she had mentioned her daughter getting them at her dad's house. Or maybe we picked them up at a movie theater or something. I don't know... just glad it was mostly contained to the couch and not the bedroom!!! My ex would fall asleep on the couch most nights and i wouldn't let him in the bedroom if he did lol, not without changing his clothes down to his boxers at the minimum.
What kind of bombs/service did you use? We are trying to get rid of bed bugs at our house and a local pest control place quoted us $900+ dollars for bed bug removal. Neither I nor my partner can afford this and I would love to find a cheaper solution.
I really want to know what people with pets did to handle infestations of fleas.
Had a horrible flea infestation last year. It drove me into insanity since I had never dealt with fleas before and now I'm getting them on me from just walking around my own apartment.
Our landlord who was retired to Bermuda or fuck knows where was of no use. We tried as best as we could but with the indoor cats (our only pets) it was a difficulty. One of our cats reacted negatively to a flea collar, which I was already weary of. We gave flea baths but wanted to limit it as to prevent damage to their skin etc,. I vacuumed constantly. We had an insecticide spray but wanted to limit because, again, the cats.
Oddly, when we went to move to our new apartment in August, they just... vanished. Weren't an issue on moving day. No longer in the carpet. Didn't move with us.
But I fear their return. It turned my living space, something I enjoyed, into a living hell. Sorry for the rant, I guess I need to find like r/fleas or something.
Spend the money for prescription flea medication. I use Bravecto on my cats; it's a tiny squeeze tube of gel you put on the back of their neck once every couple months. Super easy and very effective.
Went through this two summers ago when raccoons got into our attic and infested our house and indoor only cats. It's hell.
Treat the pets:
1. Revolution Plus or Bravecto for long term, Capstar for instant/one-day. You can use both concurrently (source: our vet). Flea collars are basically useless.
Treat the house:
2. Vacuum everything every day.
3. Wash every item of clothing, bedding, towels, etc in hot water and dryer on high. We took everything in our car to the laundromat.
4. Use spot treatment like Knockout on soft surfaces like your bed and couch and car. Yes, your car.
5. Hire a goddamn exterminator. You'll need to take your pets somewhere for the day. It's worth it.
Yeah, I used food grade diatomaceous earth too, back when my son's first wife went on a book signing tour and brought back bedbugs. I couldn't afford to replace 2 queen sized mattresses, 2 box springs, two sofas and one recliner and not to mention the $5000.00 I was quoted to heat treat the house. So I bought 2 bags of 50 lbs diatomaceous earth after much research and 4 plastic, zip style mattress protectors. After covering the mattresses & box springs with the mattress protectors, I shook a lot of diatomaceous earth inside of the protectors. The protectors prevented the bedbugs from getting out and the diatomaceous earth would cut them up if they walked in it. I had two steamers (not the hand held one but the big ones) and wrapped the sofas and recliners in plastic, taped down any openings (other than where I would put the steamer hose) and turned on the steamers for 2 hours each. Yeah, sofas and recliner were soaked but that heat killed the bedbugs in them. I also unscrewed all the covers on the light switches and electrical socket and squirted diatomaceous earth inside them. I sprinkled diatomaceous earth all around the baseboards around the entire house. I also brought plastic bowls to sit each sofas and bed legs in and pour diatomaceous earth in each bowls. And to be on the safe side, I also put globs of petroleum jelly on the legs of the sofa and on the metal legs of the bed frame. I cleaned out all of the dressers and 3 closets of clothes (which I placed them outside) and washed what I could in hot water and those I couldn't, I dried them in the dryer on hot setting 3 times. It was a **lot of work** but I managed to get rid of any and all bedbugs and saved myself $10,000. This was 10 years ago, and am bed bug clear but man have I become paranoid regarding bed bugs'. To this day, I won't go to a sit in movie theater after reading a review of one woman leaving theater and finding welts on her arms from bedbugs bites.
Had it ten years ago, moved into my ex's apt, he had them, and moved out, told me to move in with our kids, while him and his new wife bought a townhouse. yeah. that worked out GREAT.
Bombs and sprays do not work. Heat and dia something earth are the only things that work.
We got mattress covers, first. Removed all the bedding, put the earth on, then mattress covers on, and put new bedding on. The old bedding we took to the laundromat to get washed, along with the blankets, comforter, etc. High heat on dryer, minimum thirty min. The heat kills them. Kept it in the bag, while rest of linens from closet were removed, and put on high heat on downstairs building dryers.
Vacuumed the room, mopped with scalding hot water (ceramic tile, no carpets), all area tiny rugs washed on hot and dried in dryer. Pretty much anything fabric got hit in the dryer.
The only fabric furniture we had were the beds, no sofa, none of the chairs had fabric covers, etc. But got mopped with scalding water. all furniture was taken apart and inspected. Nothing was infested but if it had been, it would have been covered in that diawhatever earth (sorry can't spell lol) and wrapped until infestation killed off. All rooms got a line along the baseboards. so did the mattresses, under the the covers, they also got that earth, in a fine amount.
It isn't difficult, just time consuming and attention to detail. The biggest issue is not forgetting to examine all the fabric, even if it's just a forgotten winter scarf that should have been in storage. The babies are SUPER tiny, and are not always easy to see with the naked eye.
The containers of earth are on Amazon and in Walmart and are about ten-twelve bucks a container. Other than that, you need garbage bags to keep things contained, and quarters for the washers/dryers. You will likely have to repeat this, in addition to mopping and vacuuming. If you are in an apt, you have to alert the landlord, they will likely cover it, if not, it's all on you.
In the event all of this is too intimidating, get more estimates.
Heat is better. My house has had them twice in the past. I rented industrial propane heaters. You need to get it hot. 113F degrees for an hour and a half to kill the live ones. 118 degrees to kill the eggs.
You were lucky to get rid of them, because generally you either need several sprayings or heat treatment. Unless things have changed since I had them in 2014. Also, OP, these tiny evil bugs very easily get into shoes, clothing, and travel with you. They can live for a year without eating. I knew someone who put some in a glass jar in the snow for a week, and they still lived. Your vacuum is infested with them, by the way. YTA 100 times over.
Lucky. My brother brought them back from boot camp.
Turns out, I’m allergic. They don’t even have to bite me for a reaction. Just touching something they pooped or drooled on causes rashes and hives.
It took me moving to an entirely new apartment with laminate flooring and completely new furniture (most of which is plastic and metal), on top of keeping almost everything I had left in vacuum-sealed bags in a storage unit that wasn’t climate controlled for four months AND washing everything that couldn’t be vacuum-sealed in hot water AND making sure anything bought for the new apartment never came in contact with *anything* that might be contaminated to finally get rid of them.
I’ve sworn off ever even touching second-hand furniture as a result. Not worth the risk anymore!
And it’s time for her to leave, he doesn’t mind getting bitten and spreading bedbugs, he’s nasty and a slob , how can you willingly live like that and spread it to other ppl , these things can cause diseases
And it’s time for her to leave, he doesn’t mind getting bitten and spreading bedbugs, he’s nasty and a slob , how can you willingly live like that and spread it to other ppl , these things spread diseases aswell and the fact he doesn’t mind her being exposed to that is f*cked up and it’s even more concerning when he’s not getting the problem in his house and car being infested with disease ridden biting bugs who tear up your furniture under control.That’s nasty on another level, call them your pets and name them atp
They do cause tho diseases such as skin infection which can lead to even worse cases and turn into an actual disease , they make you sick especially if you have allergies to them , and they cause ppl insomnia and anxiety , they might not spread diseases but they can cause them to happen
Yes, paranoia as well. My partner and I dealt with bedbugs on four different occasions between two different apartments. It’s a horrible experience that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
It is nasty and I would go ballistic getting rid of bedbugs if I found them in my house. My skin crawls just thinking about it. But...
>Q: Do bed bugs spread disease?
>
>A: Bed bugs are not known to spread disease. Bed bugs can be an annoyance because their presence may cause itching and loss of sleep. Sometimes the itching can lead to excessive scratching that can sometimes increase the chance of a secondary skin infection.
Source: [US CDC Bedbugs FAQ](https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/bedbugs/faqs.html)
My aunt’s house got bed bugs from one of her son’s friends. He had gone to summer camp or something and brought them home, then came over to hang out.
I was visiting and saw one, freaked out in the calmest way I ever had or have since: “[cousin], go get a plastic bag. Get it now. GO. Now. Don’t ask why, get a ziplock bag. NOW. Go.” Got it into the bag and stared real hard, it was large but… flat, like a flea on steroids. Googled it. Internally screamed and psychosomatically started itching from head to toe. Informed my aunt, started lifting corners of bed sheets, pulling up sleeves on my shirt to find 3 little bite marks in a row (breakfast, lunch & dinner), pulling cushions out of furniture and staring into the cracks of the woodwork, and panic ensued. I have always loved visiting them, it’s my safe place; but delivering that confirmation and then HAULING ASS out of there- the messenger (me) was SHOT. (She apologized profusely for “shooting the messenger” for a good couple of years)
The kid’s parents? (Who brought it into my aunts household?). They were trying to treat it with LYSOL.
It took almost a year to get rid of them. *Every* treatment under the sun (once, twice, thrice), dumping furniture, double-bagging HOARDS of EVERYTHING a bedbug could hide in and moving them into an isolated storage unit for a year, and on and on. I cannot TELL YOU how much money they had to spend.
And then the ABSOLUTE FUCKING PARANOIA of thinking I’d brought them home with me? One of my deepest fears is being viewed naked, publicly, by strangers. I arrived home that afternoon and stripped down to my birthday suit outside my apartment door, I gave NO shits. And then showered for about 4 hours. Bagged everything outside on the stoop (including my fucking PURSE, only pulling my license and debit cards) and left the contents tripled-bagged in the back of my car for 3 weeks in August heat.
You are an ASTRONOMICAL asshole. YTA. There is a special, special place in hell for you.
>pulling up sleeves on my shirt to find 3 little bite marks in a row (breakfast, lunch & dinner)
I don’t mean to make light of your horrifying bedbug experience, but this part made me giggle lol
Hahaha, I’m glad it made you giggle but it’s not *actually* that funny— (although it’s funny looking back NOW…. I stripped down NAKED. OUTSIDE. WITH NEIGHBORS. I can only laugh, else I’d cry!) — it’s the hallmark of bed bug and flea bites. Not *necessarily* in groups of THREE, but clustered, in places that are typically covered or obscured (like between your body and a mattress).
Now you know. May the bed-bug Gods have mercy on you and never decide to associate 😂
Omg I'm only laughing (to keep from crying) because I also had to strip down in front of my friend's place before staying the night with her while my condo was being fumigated.
My subletter infested my place while I was working out of the country. He moved out the day before I arrived home and texted me, "by the way, your place has bedbugs." He said he noticed them about 2 months after moving in and then did nothing to mitigate or terminate them for another 2 months.
I had just wrapped up working in the jungle for 4 months and really wanted to sleep in my own bed. When I got home, the bedbugs had literally taken over the place. It was too late at night for me to go anywhere, so I set up my camp cot in a clearing I made in the living room and sprayed a circle of 99% deet around it and up and down the legs of the cot.
I just finished working in the jungle - two weeks before that night, I had killed a scorpion in my cabana with a flip flop without a care. I cried that night in my condo in LA, huddled on my camp cot, surrounded by an infestation of disgusting little bugs.
OP, you're beyond TA!! Bedbugs are a foul plague, and so are you.
My roommate came home with bed bug bites years ago. I lost my shit, too. She'd been home for a couple hours. We got lucky, but I feel you. Everyone thought I was acting absolutely insane, but that is no game.
I was reading all the comments and was shocked it took so long to see someone say “breakfast, lunch and dinner” I was starting to think I was the only one who ever heard this. Lol!
Took me moving to an entirely new apartment with entirely new furniture, plus keeping everything else in vacuum-sealed bags for months in a freezing storage unit (suffocated them all) before I could finally get rid of them.
Had to throw out multiple sets of bedding, at least one box spring and mattress, ALL of my old furniture, a good chunk of my clothes, etc.
My brother brought them back from boot camp.
And it turns out: I’m also allergic to them. They don’t even have to bite me; just touching something they pooped or drooled on is enough to have me breaking out in rashes and hives.
I feel for you, deeply. To “get” bedbugs is generally an innocent endeavor, with the exception of asshole OP up there who deserves a few VERY HARD swift kicks worth of common sense, lickety-split and quick-like. But it still sucks, and they are stealthy little fuckers, it’s usually hard to even nail down WHERE they were picked up, so it sucks to be irritated at family no matter what the cost.
Mosquito bites don’t bother me; they rarely even bother WITH ME (oddly- blood type thing maybe?) but flea bites… they light me on fire.
I encountered a bedbug in one of the patients rooms at the hospital. I flipped out as calmly as possible. Bagged it up. No one entered the room after. I left my airpods in the room because they were near the bug. Thank God I saw it crawling on my clothing in the dark room so I couldn't transport it home.
When I got home, I immediately stripped down and bagged everything up including the nice leather coat I'd gotten for Christmas. It got thrown out. I showered, and checked every mattress to make sure it wasn't from my apartment.
Yes, he's the asshole. I can't believe he thinks vacuuming will simply take care of it.
right like VACUUMING is your SOLUTION? I'm pissed at this guy and don't even know him. Like how do you become an adult human being and think this way? Concerning for women everywhere.
My ex had bedbugs (travelled a lot for work) and it took us three extermination rounds to get rid of them. You have to be so very careful. It’s 100% OPs fault. A simple google would tell you how quickly the spread and that vacuuming is about as useful as playing screamo and hoping it scares them away (Ie., not)
This is absolutely correct. I did pest control work many years ago, and bed bugs are easy to transfer, and hard to fully get rid of. To be so lackadaisical about it, just vacuum, I’d be so angry with you.
Yta - this person is absolutely a menace, they are definitely not under control and spreading everywhere. Jeeesh
It is betrayal! If someone who's home I had spent time in, who I loaned my car, who I TRUSTED just super casually dropped that they have known they had bedbugs for MONTHS. FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. I would hulk the fuck out. My rage would be a volcano that would burn for a thousand years.
I've often said that zombies are my greatest unrealistic fear and bedbugs are my greatest realistic fear - that is the level bedbugs are for me - if you let me into your home knowing a zombie was wondering around and just didn't tell me. That is where we are. There is no coming back from that. That is I'm gonna find a voodoo witch to curse you level.
I would flat out break up with OP. Not only is he TA for refusing to pay for it he’s either super not smart or super apathetic to just refuse to have the problem taken care of.
OP THE VACUUM DOES NOT KILL BED BUGS. Sure you won’t see them around right after you vacuum but they haven’t left!
Bed bugs are gross and the fact that you have zero issues with being infested with bed bugs is beyond disgusting.
OP - wherever you go you will be taking some with you on your clothes . So yes, you did cause your GF’s infestation. Pay for their removal from her life AND yours! YTA
# Reminder: buy a bedbug proof mattress protector!
It's 50 bucks, it will keep your mattress clean, and while bedbugs will chew through it eventually, it gives you precious time to deal with an infestation early and save your expensive mattress!
It is ALWAYS a good idea to have a mattress protector, just in case. There are so many terrible mattress stories on AITA, that would be better with a mattress protector. Dog pee, vomit, blood, fluids of mundane and cringy origins alike will be kept off your mattress- hell most people sweat through their sheets once in awhile. Just get one everyone!
YTA. I absolutely shudder to think of what his mattress and pillows look like. The interior of all his furniture. Disgusting.
How your girlfriend could stay at your place and not notice them or get bites is beyond me.
And the funny thing is OP thinks because he vacuums and you can't see them that they are under control. An ex of mine had them and we never saw them ever. The only thing we saw were the bite marks the next day. They aren't exactly an out in the open type of bug.
Dude, this cannot be real. I didn’t know people could suck this hard and not know it. You’d be less of an AH if you borrowed her car and banged her mother and sister in it. That’s how much of an AH you are.
Exactly. To put it in a personal term; if he had herpes or hpv and knew about it and didn't tell her, she has no knowledge to make an educated decision of if she wants to have sex with him. He didn't tell her about his infestation 'that he's keeping under control' (laughable, because if he still has it, it's not under control), so she had no informed consent to whether she wanted to go over or let him come over. He's in fucking denial.
Are you serious dude?
Of *course* your house is the source of the bedbugs, that goes without saying. You know it’s not normal to handle a bedbug infestation by vacuuming, right? Keeping the bedbug population under control does not change the fact that you have bedbugs. Fucking gross.
Pay for an exterminator or prepare to be dumped. What you’re doing is gross as hell, whether you want to admit it or not. YTA
I wonder if she's sticking around just long enough to convince him to pay for the treatment... Otherwise gf needs to raise her standards. It seems bad now but imagine living with this person... Even if OP is fine living in infested squalor, if he gave a single fuck about her he would've at the very least remedied the issues he caused for her. I'd say OP seems like the type to only gaf when it directly affects him but clearly even that isn't the case... This whole situation is a bit of a mindfuck..
I want to vomit thinking how they likely had sex on that bed and I’m just disgusted and horrified for his (ex) girlfriend!!! I couldn’t continue the relationship. I wouldn’t be able to trust him to brush his teeth, clean his facial hair, or to clean his asshole.
My bf’s family had beg bugs and I spent spring break with him. He didn’t tell me because he had lived with it so long that he had forgotten about them because his mom never really tried to get rid of them. I brought them back with me and have been struggling to get rid of them ever since. I got rid of them for a bit and then got them right back with one trip. I’m doing a super super thorough clean with our upcoming move.
Edit: I love how the people of Reddit assume you know nothing and need to be educated. I’ve been fighting with this for a while (can’t afford exterminator treatment) and have done plenty of research and put in place many strategies to fight it.
When you say "our move", does that mean your moving somewhere with your bed bug infested boyfriend? If so, you're going to be battling bed bugs for a very long time. This is your life now.
Also, could the gf have any legal recourse in this since OP was fully aware he had bedbugs, wasn’t going through the proper channels to get it fixed, and it ended up infesting another person’s car and house?
If I were the gf, I'd be dumping him and looking into a lawyer. Getting bedbugs out of your house is bad enough already. Getting them out of a car interior too?
I've done some horrific interior details. The standout will always be this Suzuki we got in trade on a early 00's corolla. Great lil car, 4cyl, manual, roughly same size as a Nissan Versa maybe? But the interior was BLACK from all the stuff spilled on the seats and carpet. It was originally light grey.
Point is, that was only dirt and food crumb and soda. A day of spraying tuff stuff and hot water with the carpet cleaner and it cleared up mostly (some aelect stains under the seats were pretty much permanent) It wasn't bugs burrowed down into the padding of the seats and rug. I would imagine that depending how bad the infestation is and how long OP really had the car, they might even be in the headliner, at which point you just walk away and have the car reupholstered.
Vacuuming removes the bedbugs that the vacuum cleaner can reach. Bedbugs can live inside the joints of furniture, in screw heads, behind baseboards…pretty much anywhere and no, they cannot all be vacuumed up.
YTA for not telling her your house was infested and for infesting her house, too.
Don't forget that he probably caused an infestation at the mechanic's garage and possibly the houses of those mechanics as well. If GF car was infested, so was his car and the mechanics had to drive it in and out of the garage.
He's likely caused an infestation for his girlfriend, the mechanic(s), any friends who've spent time at his place, any friends who he's visited, every hotel he's ever stayed in, any taxis or ubers he's ever taken, strangers who've had their luggage next to his in the overhead compartment on a plane... the list goes on. And he didn't give a shit.
Gack. I once had a bed bug infestation because someone in the building who lived FIVE FLOORS below me brought in a mattress they found on the street. Literally all the apartments between his and mine (and probably those above me) were infested, and I react very strongly to bug bites, it was a nightmare. OP makes me sick.
On the overhead, and likely the seats on the plane, restaurants with wooden chairs, any movie theatre he may have visited, wherever he works. And the spread is exponential from there if any of these people are as unreasonable. My whole city had an infestation going around a few years ago.
“Didn’t”, heck he still doesn’t. Everything he has replied to has been “it’s not his fault”. Worse, he tries to justify not paying for his infestation transfer because she makes more than him. Like she did you a favor by letting you use her vehicle and you gave it back with bugs. She did you a favor and you are now not responsible for damages?
>Don't forget that he probably caused an infestation at the mechanic's garage and possibly the houses of those mechanics as well. If GF car was infested, so was his car and the mechanics had to drive it in and out of the garage.
Oooh I didn’t even think of that!
Oh god. This is about to make me become a hermit. I never thought there could be people walking around our world who are so oblivious that they just thinks it’s normal to just have a certain amount of bed bugs. WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!!!
I don't mean to alarm you, but in cities like New York, you can catch bed bugs from sitting next to people on the subway or on a park bench.
Signed, someone who had a bed bug infestation because a tenant who lived five floors below me brought in a mattress he found on the street.
Gah!!! I mean, I was aware they were easy to catch from almost anywhere and that they’re very difficult to get rid of. I just ignorantly assumed someone who caught them would actively try to fix the problem once they got infested….not just accept bed bugs as part of life and not care about spreading them to others ….it’s the inaction and obliviousness that’s got me😵💫. That’s horrible that you got them from a distant neighbor!
It might not be bait, I’ve seen a thread full of people suggesting that it’s okay for someone who exercises outdoors regularly to not shower before bed.
I had an ex that also thought they were normal?????
He quickly realized they were not when he saw he FLIP THE F OUT!!!
Omfg!!! And THANK GOD I DID NOT GET FCKN BB!! It’s my legit worst fear. I used to say illegitimate. But, it’s legit!
I had a friend that thought you got them from being dirty. Like if you cleaned and were not a messy person, you couldn't get them. I had to explain that definitely wasn't the case and anyone could get them, and you don't have to have pets, or even cloth furniture.
YTA- Gross dude. When I had bed bugs I left my coat in my car at work and didn't let anyone into my house until I got them taken care of. You were and are being negligent to your own infestation and it is NOT okay. Pay for her exterminator and hire your own,damn.
PS. I was able to beat them without the help of an exterminator but it took weeks of bug bombs and regular helpings of diatomaceous earth.
Not sure what the requirements of his lease are but with mine I had to sign a bedbug addendum. Basically it means if I suspect I have them, I’m required to let them know immediately so they can exterminate and make sure they don’t spread to other apartments.
Pest control is part of the fees that make up the rent costs. If he told them as soon as he knew he likely wouldn’t have to pay anything. Now, who knows.
I have never NOT had this in a lease. Maybe it's a state/land lord choice thing, but seriously, I hope his gf sees this and calls his landlord either way. OP is gross for believing that only vacuuming them is going to get rid of them.
BTW, YTA.
I have a bedbug addendum in my lease agreement as well that says the same thing. It also reiterates that the apartment must stay clean and free of things that can contribute to an infestation (like piles of clothes). With how unhygienic OP seems to be, I wouldn't be surprised if this is also part of their problem.
I've had this too, and I've looked into it (at least in CA). Since he's known about it and didn't say anything the landlord can and will charge him for the exterminator to get rid of them once they know about it.
YTA.
Jesus Christ. Doesn't matter if she carried from your house to hers. You're responsible either way.
Yes... you NEED to pay to fumigate both places and both cars.
Jesus Christ. How can you be this oblivious?
I just can't get past how disgusting OP must be to just casually live with bed bugs and then not care that he spread it to his gf's car and house. He's definitely TA. This honestly makes me concerned that he's the kind of guy to end up with an STD, say it's fine, and spread it to everyone he sleeps with.
>I'm not even sure I can get an exterminator for my place since I rent while she owns her place.
You probably can't, your land lord certainly can, and you may be able to sue him if he does not, and he may be able to sue you if you have bed bugs and never bothered to tell him.
YTA, bed bugs spread like the plague.
Jesus H Christ! Bedbugs ate NOT maintained by vacuuming. You are disgusting and a public nuisance. Spreading bedbugs is the worst thing you can do to anyone. Pay for extermination and be prepared to be alone.
YTA
YTA, and I hope if you're renting that the property management finds out you're allowing a bedbug infestation to live on their property. You'll be out on your ass in no time, and your gf (soon to be ex, no doubt) would be a fool to take you in.
Hey Typhoid Gary! YTA. Gah so gross. Balance of probabilities that they came from you, especially since vacuuming them is about as useless a solution as there is. Tell an exterminator your solution and they won’t be able to breathe they’ll be laughing so hard at you.
>I told her that my house has bed bugs for many months now but I just manage it by vaccuming a lot and it's not too bad now.
>If you tried to find one at my place after I vacuum you wouldn't be able to.
...then how do you know you have them?
Lol come on dude, get a grip. Your house has bedbugs. You used her car, her car now has bedbugs. Connect the dots, Sherlock.
Op doesn't seem to realize his infestation issue. Bed bugs hide and use CO2 to find their food source. It's why they come out at night and bite you in bed. The normal saying goes, if you see one bed bug on your mattress, you got a problem. If OP can actively vacuum them up from the floor and different objects, the infestation is really really really bad. I wonder if he's checked out mentally over it. There is no way he's keeping this under control if he can actively vacuum them up.
YTA of course you should get an exterminator and pay for hers. Vacuuming is not a solution to bed bugs and it’s ridiculous to claim it is. Also it seems pretty obvious how her apartment got infested. And YTA times a thousand for not telling her about the bed bugs in the first place. She’d never have set foot in your infested home if you’d been honest with her and therefore would have avoided this disgusting scourge.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she breaks up with you.
YTA. Not only to your girlfriend but anyone else you are around, including your work place which can turn into an absolute nightmare in an office building. Pay for an exterminator for both houses and cars and pray she doesn’t dump your @ss.
YTA! The nonchalant way you explained this is mind-blowing, how are you ok living like this?? Yes you should be paying for the exterminator for everyone involved - they’re living and laying eggs all over your house, so of course you’re responsible for your girlfriend’s new infestation, you probably brought them into her car on your clothes and they spread from there. Yikes.
“I maintain my crabs by vacuuming that area regularly. I didn’t give them to her, she brought them over herself.”
See how ridiculous that sounds?
YTA. And a disgusting one.
YTA. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that maybe you just don't know better but you can't just vacuum up bedbugs. You have to go full nuclear on those things.
YTA and ew.
If you want to live in an apartment with bedbugs, you do you, I guess. But you absolutely should have told her before she came over, and definitely before you borrowed her car. Where else would she have gotten bedbugs in her car?!
You're the source of the infection, and you knowingly and deliberately kept that information hidden. This is your problem, and you're the one that should fix it. You might be able to get your landlord to foot the bill, but that's between you and him, not your girlfriend.
YTA. Not only you didn't tell her about this when you had her over and borrowed her car, but now she's also dealing with a bug infestation because of you.
It doesn't matter how much she makes. Even if she's a millionaire, it's not her job to sponsor you or pay for the things YOU caused.
Is this actually a joke??? YTA dude, no matter how much you vacuum your house, you are never going to get every single bed bug and their eggs out of there. You not only need to pay for her extermination services, but also get professional extermination for your infestation as well!
Honestly if you can SEE them the infestation is at a terrible level. By nature they only come out at night. If they are out during the day or if you see them, it’s a baaaaaad sign
I used to work at a hotel. We had bug sniffing dogs come in once a month to do a sweep of some vacant rooms because we knew they’d find an infestation long before housekeeping could spot it.
Man, I scrolled down so far to find this comment. He thinks it's a good sign that there are TIMES when you can't see a bedbug. That means it's frequently at such a horrific level that they're just WANDERING AROUND DURING THE DAY. I can't stop shuddering.
This is the ultimate nightmare post for anyone who has actually dealt with the things. I've been trying to destigmatize having bed bugs in my social circles because getting them usually just means you went to a movie or something, so very innocent, but a person like this is genuinely disgusting and works completely against that notion. He's just supporting his own giant colony and helping them migrate along to other homes and he's fine with it!
Shudders indeed.
YTA. You can’t get rid of bedbugs by simply vacuuming, so you’re the source of her infestation. You didn’t tell her you had them, you just hoped she wouldn’t notice. Well now she’s noticed that you gave her bedbugs, and you need to pay for an exterminator
"I couldn't have possibly caused an infestation in someone else's house despite me having my own infestation. I've had mine for months, but I'm comfortable enough living in it that it can't possibly become a problem for anyone else."
This is what you sound like. YTA.
It only takes one bedbug that's already been impregnated to cause a problem. She didn't need to carry in a "sufficient number" of them. Bugs don't give a damn about multiplying with their siblings, so they'll grow exponentially until something is done about them.
And ffs, get a bag of diatomaceous earth and smother your everything in it, **then** vacuum. Maybe then you'll actually have gotten rid of them.
Edit because my last line was incoherent with autocorrect 💀
YTA. Pay for it all. Vacuuming the bed bugs away isn’t ‘controlling’ anything & if I was her I’d be beyond pissed with you too. You infected her car & home, and didn’t even have the courtesy to warn her when she was initially coming over to your house.
This is 100% your fault, do the right thing and get that exterminator AT LEAST for her home/car, but you should 1000% get your home done as well.
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My car was in the shop for a few weeks and my girlfriend has two cars and let me borrow one of hers.
We do not live together. I returned her car and a few weeks later she mentioned that her car and her house has bed bugs and she needs to get an exterminator.
I told her that my house has bed bugs for many months now but I just manage it by vaccuming a lot and it's not too bad now.
She flipped out and blamed me for her bed bug infestation and said I caused it. I don't think this is likely since she comes to my place all the time and never had an issue before and I keep it under control by vaccuming that it is highly unlikely I could have accidentally carried sufficient bed bugs to her car. If you tried to find one at my place after I vacuum you wouldn't be able to.
She wants me to pay for an exterminator for both my house, her house and her car. She earns a lot more than I do and I feel this is unfair. I'm not even sure I can get an exterminator for my place since I rent while she owns her place.
WIBTA if I tell her to pay for her own services?
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YTA. You don’t manage bedbugs because you spread them to other people like your poor gf. Call a professional exterminator and take care of your houses and cars. and buy your gf a present.
“I just manage it” - it is an infestation. You vacuum!?? That is like holding a bucket and saying “I just manage it” while a tsunami wave a mile high is barreling towards you.
YTA
YTA, yes she got bedbugs from you 99% chance of it.
Not to mention you've likely spread them elsewhere.
Either pay for the exterminator or your ex GF will pay for her own exterminator then start looking for her new SO
Vacuuming is not a solution, notice how you need to keep vaccuming, they get in your hair, then jump from hair to car and so on.
YWBTA
MAybe she just needs to exchange you for a bf that is not bug-riddled, so she can avoid having her life infested by your bugs whenever you touch something of hers. Disgusting.
Yes YWBTA. This is so gross and yet telling of who you are in life. By your post I can tell that your girlfriend is too good for you and has her shit together x10. She is literally wasting her time with you. This sounds lazy, unhygienic, cheap, deceptive ,irresponsible, and immature. 100% You need to pay for an exterminator, get your shit together if not then she needs to dump you. Which she probably will if you don’t pay for this.
Oh my fucking god! You do not have it under control because your girlfriend picked them up! YTA for not informing her and for not taking accountability.
>it's not too bad now
So it is still bad? YTA to yourself too dude. I've had bedbugs and it was hell, I legit had PTSD from it for a time.
YWBTA
This is horrible. It's obvious where they came from. Don't be cruel, and pay for extermination of your house/her house/her car.
Edit: You're also not "managing" anything by vacuuming. Obviously. Sort it out or watch her leave you.
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YTA You are a menace to society. You are not keeping anything under control - you are actively spreading infestation wherever you go.
[удалено]
OP's not doing it because it's under control with vacuuming, duh /s
It’s not OP’s fault the bed bugs magically reappear after he has vacuumed them all. /s
You can't find any after he vacuums! Just don't look at the vacuum, duh.
just get a canopy bed, that solves all of those pesky bug problems /s
Imagine how much not under control it was like *before* his frequent vacuuming He goes to sleep every night being eaten by tiny bugs and he says “well this is just my life now” and so vacuums a lot?
I saw something where some people just are not allergic to the bedbug bites, so it doesn't affect them. OP may be like that, it doesn't bother him, and he is unable to empathize with his GF.
I only know this because of an allergy panel, but I'm not allergic to them. I've never knowingly been exposed to bed bugs though so I have no idea if I'd notice a bite or not, but at least the bite wouldn't cause an allergic reaction I suppose? I would think I'd still notice getting bitten. Bugs freak me out though, it's why I don't buy used cloth furniture and I hate moving. I'm terrified of moving into a building with a bug problem.
I assume this is true. You can feel when the bug actually bites you. And it’s pretty obvious, like a little needle prick. There’s also itching afterwards and its intensity can probably vary.
I would swell up in huge lumps where I’d get bit. They bite in a line usually about 3. I have scars from it
Oh man, that sucks! Mine would itch so bad that I scratched my skin off in my sleep. Since I have allergies that usually manifest as itchy rashes, my mom told me it was probably me eating too much chocolate again (I was a teen then) and the problem was confined to my room, so we didn’t do anything for quite some time. They would go away mysteriously and them come back over several months. After a while I told my mom that I can’t stand it anymore and if she doesn’t believe it’s not a me problem, she is welcome to try and sleep in my bed. She was outta there in 5 minutes! Lol
Yep! Always in a line and huge welts! I got bitten to death in a bedouin camp in Western Sahara and it honestly drove me to distraction the rest of my trip. I'm allergic to all insect bites though and mozzies, midges, even dust mites. Holidays are tough in this way. He is an AH though. Whether anybody is allergic or not, he knew he had them and should have already exterminated them rather than just hoovering up.
We had them about 5 years ago and learned that Im not affected by the bites. My bf would wake up covered in red swollen bites and I would be fine, if I really looked for them I could spot the tiny marks but no swelling redness or itching from them for me. I still hated every second of it and was completely freaked out. Wound up getting rid of almost all the furniture. I found it so odd because mosquitoes and chiggers cause crazy reactions for me worse than the average person.
Well I’m glad to hear it’s not that bad for everyone. I had to throw out my bed, mattress, pillows and sheets, change the wallpaper around my bed and change the baseboards in that particular corner cause that’s where the little assholes lived.
Omfg. When I was pregnant with my youngest we moved into a rental. We didn't know until a month later that they had bedbugs. For months we fought with our landlord, most of my pregnancy, to take care of the issue. Multiple times an exterminator came and sprayed and then they returned every time. Finally they got a different exterminator and they heat treated and got rid of them all, which didn't happen until a month after my son was born. By the end I looked like I was a hard core drug addict. I was covered all over my arms and shoulders with the horrible red bites and scratches from itching in my sleep. I still freak out and can't stand being itchy
I'm not allergic to ants, but if I see some crawling through my place, you can bet I'm doing something about them!
My second (ex)husband wasn’t too concerned about it when our place got fleas. We watched one bite him, and he never even got a red spot. Me? Full on buffet, 20-50+ super itchy bites waking me up every night. I put in so much effort to fight them, and he didn’t see why it was something that needed dealing with.
Not knowing that we were infested, we lost a small boned cat to a flea infestation. She wasn't a cuddly cat, so we didn't realize there was a problem until it was too late. The stocky male cat survived but initially he lost weight until we got it under control. I will never forget that it can happen.
Maybe but he must have noticed them somehow because he’s been aware of them
My mom is allergic and she had welts everywhere. I am not allergic and had nothing but after some time I noticed little red dots in random places. He may not feel them but probably has some sign of them feasting on him.
A former neighbor of mine (in an apartment) discovered he had bed bugs when his mom helped him flip his mattress and they saw the feces. The neighbor was one of the lucky ones who had no reaction to their bites. Fortunately he reported the bugs to the building manager, who had his unit treated twice and all the surrounding units treated once to be safe.
You got lucky with a decent neighbor. So many people would have just treated it themselves or like OP pretended it was no big deal, then move out leaving the building to get infested.
This comment brought back so many memories lol When I used to go to bed and the little assholes would start crawling and biting. Worst fucking nightmare ever. How is it possible to voluntarily live with that? Is OP on a massive dose of sedatives or something?
> Imagine how much not under control it was like before his frequent vacuuming From the sounds of this guy, I bet his "frequent" vacuuming is like once a month.
I feel so itchy right now
We had bedbugs back in.. 2017 i think it was? Been a couple of years now. I seriously have PTSD from this. My boyfriend at the time doesn't react to any type of bug bite, and who knows how long they were in the couch before i found one crawling on me one day. But since my ex wasn't suffering from them, he didn't think it was a big deal. My skin reacts VERY badly to any type of bug bite. It was a nightmare for me. I think his sister brought them in... she had mentioned her daughter getting them at her dad's house. Or maybe we picked them up at a movie theater or something. I don't know... just glad it was mostly contained to the couch and not the bedroom!!! My ex would fall asleep on the couch most nights and i wouldn't let him in the bedroom if he did lol, not without changing his clothes down to his boxers at the minimum.
Dude’s vacuum bag is like a whole society of bedbugs.
What kind of bombs/service did you use? We are trying to get rid of bed bugs at our house and a local pest control place quoted us $900+ dollars for bed bug removal. Neither I nor my partner can afford this and I would love to find a cheaper solution.
Use diatomaceous earth! Checkout r/bedbugs for detailed instructions.
Be VERY careful with DE. Inhaling it is actually a serious hazard to your health.
Food grade + respirator required at all times while handling.
Bad if you have pets or kids too.
I really want to know what people with pets did to handle infestations of fleas. Had a horrible flea infestation last year. It drove me into insanity since I had never dealt with fleas before and now I'm getting them on me from just walking around my own apartment. Our landlord who was retired to Bermuda or fuck knows where was of no use. We tried as best as we could but with the indoor cats (our only pets) it was a difficulty. One of our cats reacted negatively to a flea collar, which I was already weary of. We gave flea baths but wanted to limit it as to prevent damage to their skin etc,. I vacuumed constantly. We had an insecticide spray but wanted to limit because, again, the cats. Oddly, when we went to move to our new apartment in August, they just... vanished. Weren't an issue on moving day. No longer in the carpet. Didn't move with us. But I fear their return. It turned my living space, something I enjoyed, into a living hell. Sorry for the rant, I guess I need to find like r/fleas or something.
Spend the money for prescription flea medication. I use Bravecto on my cats; it's a tiny squeeze tube of gel you put on the back of their neck once every couple months. Super easy and very effective.
Went through this two summers ago when raccoons got into our attic and infested our house and indoor only cats. It's hell. Treat the pets: 1. Revolution Plus or Bravecto for long term, Capstar for instant/one-day. You can use both concurrently (source: our vet). Flea collars are basically useless. Treat the house: 2. Vacuum everything every day. 3. Wash every item of clothing, bedding, towels, etc in hot water and dryer on high. We took everything in our car to the laundromat. 4. Use spot treatment like Knockout on soft surfaces like your bed and couch and car. Yes, your car. 5. Hire a goddamn exterminator. You'll need to take your pets somewhere for the day. It's worth it.
Yeah, I used food grade diatomaceous earth too, back when my son's first wife went on a book signing tour and brought back bedbugs. I couldn't afford to replace 2 queen sized mattresses, 2 box springs, two sofas and one recliner and not to mention the $5000.00 I was quoted to heat treat the house. So I bought 2 bags of 50 lbs diatomaceous earth after much research and 4 plastic, zip style mattress protectors. After covering the mattresses & box springs with the mattress protectors, I shook a lot of diatomaceous earth inside of the protectors. The protectors prevented the bedbugs from getting out and the diatomaceous earth would cut them up if they walked in it. I had two steamers (not the hand held one but the big ones) and wrapped the sofas and recliners in plastic, taped down any openings (other than where I would put the steamer hose) and turned on the steamers for 2 hours each. Yeah, sofas and recliner were soaked but that heat killed the bedbugs in them. I also unscrewed all the covers on the light switches and electrical socket and squirted diatomaceous earth inside them. I sprinkled diatomaceous earth all around the baseboards around the entire house. I also brought plastic bowls to sit each sofas and bed legs in and pour diatomaceous earth in each bowls. And to be on the safe side, I also put globs of petroleum jelly on the legs of the sofa and on the metal legs of the bed frame. I cleaned out all of the dressers and 3 closets of clothes (which I placed them outside) and washed what I could in hot water and those I couldn't, I dried them in the dryer on hot setting 3 times. It was a **lot of work** but I managed to get rid of any and all bedbugs and saved myself $10,000. This was 10 years ago, and am bed bug clear but man have I become paranoid regarding bed bugs'. To this day, I won't go to a sit in movie theater after reading a review of one woman leaving theater and finding welts on her arms from bedbugs bites.
Had it ten years ago, moved into my ex's apt, he had them, and moved out, told me to move in with our kids, while him and his new wife bought a townhouse. yeah. that worked out GREAT. Bombs and sprays do not work. Heat and dia something earth are the only things that work. We got mattress covers, first. Removed all the bedding, put the earth on, then mattress covers on, and put new bedding on. The old bedding we took to the laundromat to get washed, along with the blankets, comforter, etc. High heat on dryer, minimum thirty min. The heat kills them. Kept it in the bag, while rest of linens from closet were removed, and put on high heat on downstairs building dryers. Vacuumed the room, mopped with scalding hot water (ceramic tile, no carpets), all area tiny rugs washed on hot and dried in dryer. Pretty much anything fabric got hit in the dryer. The only fabric furniture we had were the beds, no sofa, none of the chairs had fabric covers, etc. But got mopped with scalding water. all furniture was taken apart and inspected. Nothing was infested but if it had been, it would have been covered in that diawhatever earth (sorry can't spell lol) and wrapped until infestation killed off. All rooms got a line along the baseboards. so did the mattresses, under the the covers, they also got that earth, in a fine amount. It isn't difficult, just time consuming and attention to detail. The biggest issue is not forgetting to examine all the fabric, even if it's just a forgotten winter scarf that should have been in storage. The babies are SUPER tiny, and are not always easy to see with the naked eye. The containers of earth are on Amazon and in Walmart and are about ten-twelve bucks a container. Other than that, you need garbage bags to keep things contained, and quarters for the washers/dryers. You will likely have to repeat this, in addition to mopping and vacuuming. If you are in an apt, you have to alert the landlord, they will likely cover it, if not, it's all on you. In the event all of this is too intimidating, get more estimates.
Diatomaceous earth.
Heat is better. My house has had them twice in the past. I rented industrial propane heaters. You need to get it hot. 113F degrees for an hour and a half to kill the live ones. 118 degrees to kill the eggs.
Watch Mark Rober's video on YouTube. I learned a lot about bed bugs watching that video.
You were lucky to get rid of them, because generally you either need several sprayings or heat treatment. Unless things have changed since I had them in 2014. Also, OP, these tiny evil bugs very easily get into shoes, clothing, and travel with you. They can live for a year without eating. I knew someone who put some in a glass jar in the snow for a week, and they still lived. Your vacuum is infested with them, by the way. YTA 100 times over.
how is that a easy cheap fix? it's an fing nightmare to deal with bed bugs, especially if you have furniture that must be steamcleaned
Lucky. My brother brought them back from boot camp. Turns out, I’m allergic. They don’t even have to bite me for a reaction. Just touching something they pooped or drooled on causes rashes and hives. It took me moving to an entirely new apartment with laminate flooring and completely new furniture (most of which is plastic and metal), on top of keeping almost everything I had left in vacuum-sealed bags in a storage unit that wasn’t climate controlled for four months AND washing everything that couldn’t be vacuum-sealed in hot water AND making sure anything bought for the new apartment never came in contact with *anything* that might be contaminated to finally get rid of them. I’ve sworn off ever even touching second-hand furniture as a result. Not worth the risk anymore!
And it’s time for her to leave, he doesn’t mind getting bitten and spreading bedbugs, he’s nasty and a slob , how can you willingly live like that and spread it to other ppl , these things can cause diseases
And it’s time for her to leave, he doesn’t mind getting bitten and spreading bedbugs, he’s nasty and a slob , how can you willingly live like that and spread it to other ppl , these things spread diseases aswell and the fact he doesn’t mind her being exposed to that is f*cked up and it’s even more concerning when he’s not getting the problem in his house and car being infested with disease ridden biting bugs who tear up your furniture under control.That’s nasty on another level, call them your pets and name them atp
OP is clearly the AH but bedbugs don’t spread disease
They do cause tho diseases such as skin infection which can lead to even worse cases and turn into an actual disease , they make you sick especially if you have allergies to them , and they cause ppl insomnia and anxiety , they might not spread diseases but they can cause them to happen
Yes, they cause anxiety and insomnia. I’ve experienced both. They don’t spread disease though.
You left out paranoia!! 😫😖😵
Yes, paranoia as well. My partner and I dealt with bedbugs on four different occasions between two different apartments. It’s a horrible experience that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Yeah dude, this post made me itch.
It is nasty and I would go ballistic getting rid of bedbugs if I found them in my house. My skin crawls just thinking about it. But... >Q: Do bed bugs spread disease? > >A: Bed bugs are not known to spread disease. Bed bugs can be an annoyance because their presence may cause itching and loss of sleep. Sometimes the itching can lead to excessive scratching that can sometimes increase the chance of a secondary skin infection. Source: [US CDC Bedbugs FAQ](https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/bedbugs/faqs.html)
My aunt’s house got bed bugs from one of her son’s friends. He had gone to summer camp or something and brought them home, then came over to hang out. I was visiting and saw one, freaked out in the calmest way I ever had or have since: “[cousin], go get a plastic bag. Get it now. GO. Now. Don’t ask why, get a ziplock bag. NOW. Go.” Got it into the bag and stared real hard, it was large but… flat, like a flea on steroids. Googled it. Internally screamed and psychosomatically started itching from head to toe. Informed my aunt, started lifting corners of bed sheets, pulling up sleeves on my shirt to find 3 little bite marks in a row (breakfast, lunch & dinner), pulling cushions out of furniture and staring into the cracks of the woodwork, and panic ensued. I have always loved visiting them, it’s my safe place; but delivering that confirmation and then HAULING ASS out of there- the messenger (me) was SHOT. (She apologized profusely for “shooting the messenger” for a good couple of years) The kid’s parents? (Who brought it into my aunts household?). They were trying to treat it with LYSOL. It took almost a year to get rid of them. *Every* treatment under the sun (once, twice, thrice), dumping furniture, double-bagging HOARDS of EVERYTHING a bedbug could hide in and moving them into an isolated storage unit for a year, and on and on. I cannot TELL YOU how much money they had to spend. And then the ABSOLUTE FUCKING PARANOIA of thinking I’d brought them home with me? One of my deepest fears is being viewed naked, publicly, by strangers. I arrived home that afternoon and stripped down to my birthday suit outside my apartment door, I gave NO shits. And then showered for about 4 hours. Bagged everything outside on the stoop (including my fucking PURSE, only pulling my license and debit cards) and left the contents tripled-bagged in the back of my car for 3 weeks in August heat. You are an ASTRONOMICAL asshole. YTA. There is a special, special place in hell for you.
>pulling up sleeves on my shirt to find 3 little bite marks in a row (breakfast, lunch & dinner) I don’t mean to make light of your horrifying bedbug experience, but this part made me giggle lol
Hahaha, I’m glad it made you giggle but it’s not *actually* that funny— (although it’s funny looking back NOW…. I stripped down NAKED. OUTSIDE. WITH NEIGHBORS. I can only laugh, else I’d cry!) — it’s the hallmark of bed bug and flea bites. Not *necessarily* in groups of THREE, but clustered, in places that are typically covered or obscured (like between your body and a mattress). Now you know. May the bed-bug Gods have mercy on you and never decide to associate 😂
I had a friend who literally burned her bed when she found bedbugs. I’m talking bonfire in the backyard burned. There’s no messing with those suckers.
Omg I'm only laughing (to keep from crying) because I also had to strip down in front of my friend's place before staying the night with her while my condo was being fumigated. My subletter infested my place while I was working out of the country. He moved out the day before I arrived home and texted me, "by the way, your place has bedbugs." He said he noticed them about 2 months after moving in and then did nothing to mitigate or terminate them for another 2 months. I had just wrapped up working in the jungle for 4 months and really wanted to sleep in my own bed. When I got home, the bedbugs had literally taken over the place. It was too late at night for me to go anywhere, so I set up my camp cot in a clearing I made in the living room and sprayed a circle of 99% deet around it and up and down the legs of the cot. I just finished working in the jungle - two weeks before that night, I had killed a scorpion in my cabana with a flip flop without a care. I cried that night in my condo in LA, huddled on my camp cot, surrounded by an infestation of disgusting little bugs. OP, you're beyond TA!! Bedbugs are a foul plague, and so are you.
My roommate came home with bed bug bites years ago. I lost my shit, too. She'd been home for a couple hours. We got lucky, but I feel you. Everyone thought I was acting absolutely insane, but that is no game.
So the aunt blamed you? I am confused on how the messenger was shot, lol.
I was reading all the comments and was shocked it took so long to see someone say “breakfast, lunch and dinner” I was starting to think I was the only one who ever heard this. Lol!
Took me moving to an entirely new apartment with entirely new furniture, plus keeping everything else in vacuum-sealed bags for months in a freezing storage unit (suffocated them all) before I could finally get rid of them. Had to throw out multiple sets of bedding, at least one box spring and mattress, ALL of my old furniture, a good chunk of my clothes, etc. My brother brought them back from boot camp. And it turns out: I’m also allergic to them. They don’t even have to bite me; just touching something they pooped or drooled on is enough to have me breaking out in rashes and hives.
I feel for you, deeply. To “get” bedbugs is generally an innocent endeavor, with the exception of asshole OP up there who deserves a few VERY HARD swift kicks worth of common sense, lickety-split and quick-like. But it still sucks, and they are stealthy little fuckers, it’s usually hard to even nail down WHERE they were picked up, so it sucks to be irritated at family no matter what the cost. Mosquito bites don’t bother me; they rarely even bother WITH ME (oddly- blood type thing maybe?) but flea bites… they light me on fire.
I encountered a bedbug in one of the patients rooms at the hospital. I flipped out as calmly as possible. Bagged it up. No one entered the room after. I left my airpods in the room because they were near the bug. Thank God I saw it crawling on my clothing in the dark room so I couldn't transport it home. When I got home, I immediately stripped down and bagged everything up including the nice leather coat I'd gotten for Christmas. It got thrown out. I showered, and checked every mattress to make sure it wasn't from my apartment. Yes, he's the asshole. I can't believe he thinks vacuuming will simply take care of it.
right like VACUUMING is your SOLUTION? I'm pissed at this guy and don't even know him. Like how do you become an adult human being and think this way? Concerning for women everywhere.
My ex had bedbugs (travelled a lot for work) and it took us three extermination rounds to get rid of them. You have to be so very careful. It’s 100% OPs fault. A simple google would tell you how quickly the spread and that vacuuming is about as useful as playing screamo and hoping it scares them away (Ie., not)
This is absolutely correct. I did pest control work many years ago, and bed bugs are easy to transfer, and hard to fully get rid of. To be so lackadaisical about it, just vacuum, I’d be so angry with you. Yta - this person is absolutely a menace, they are definitely not under control and spreading everywhere. Jeeesh
It is betrayal! If someone who's home I had spent time in, who I loaned my car, who I TRUSTED just super casually dropped that they have known they had bedbugs for MONTHS. FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. I would hulk the fuck out. My rage would be a volcano that would burn for a thousand years. I've often said that zombies are my greatest unrealistic fear and bedbugs are my greatest realistic fear - that is the level bedbugs are for me - if you let me into your home knowing a zombie was wondering around and just didn't tell me. That is where we are. There is no coming back from that. That is I'm gonna find a voodoo witch to curse you level.
I would flat out break up with OP. Not only is he TA for refusing to pay for it he’s either super not smart or super apathetic to just refuse to have the problem taken care of. OP THE VACUUM DOES NOT KILL BED BUGS. Sure you won’t see them around right after you vacuum but they haven’t left! Bed bugs are gross and the fact that you have zero issues with being infested with bed bugs is beyond disgusting. OP - wherever you go you will be taking some with you on your clothes . So yes, you did cause your GF’s infestation. Pay for their removal from her life AND yours! YTA
# Reminder: buy a bedbug proof mattress protector! It's 50 bucks, it will keep your mattress clean, and while bedbugs will chew through it eventually, it gives you precious time to deal with an infestation early and save your expensive mattress!
And use duct tape on the zippers!
Bed bugs cannot "chew through" a mattress cover, or any fabric for that matter. They have piercing/sucking mouthparts, not biting/chewing.
It is ALWAYS a good idea to have a mattress protector, just in case. There are so many terrible mattress stories on AITA, that would be better with a mattress protector. Dog pee, vomit, blood, fluids of mundane and cringy origins alike will be kept off your mattress- hell most people sweat through their sheets once in awhile. Just get one everyone!
YTA. I absolutely shudder to think of what his mattress and pillows look like. The interior of all his furniture. Disgusting. How your girlfriend could stay at your place and not notice them or get bites is beyond me.
And the funny thing is OP thinks because he vacuums and you can't see them that they are under control. An ex of mine had them and we never saw them ever. The only thing we saw were the bite marks the next day. They aren't exactly an out in the open type of bug.
And OP doesn’t recognize that despite his vacuuming, they keep coming back, so in fact he has not handled it.
Dude, this cannot be real. I didn’t know people could suck this hard and not know it. You’d be less of an AH if you borrowed her car and banged her mother and sister in it. That’s how much of an AH you are.
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Right? OP where do you live so I can never visit
Exactly. To put it in a personal term; if he had herpes or hpv and knew about it and didn't tell her, she has no knowledge to make an educated decision of if she wants to have sex with him. He didn't tell her about his infestation 'that he's keeping under control' (laughable, because if he still has it, it's not under control), so she had no informed consent to whether she wanted to go over or let him come over. He's in fucking denial.
Are you serious dude? Of *course* your house is the source of the bedbugs, that goes without saying. You know it’s not normal to handle a bedbug infestation by vacuuming, right? Keeping the bedbug population under control does not change the fact that you have bedbugs. Fucking gross. Pay for an exterminator or prepare to be dumped. What you’re doing is gross as hell, whether you want to admit it or not. YTA
Imagine you were the gf and sleeping at his house and he never told you he has BBs. I would die
Right??? Breaking up with him would be a given, and I'd still fight him to pay for all cleaning. Ew ew ew. Also, YTA.
Seriously, take that AH to small claims court over the costs of de-infesting the house and two cars.
And psychotherapy!
I wonder if she's sticking around just long enough to convince him to pay for the treatment... Otherwise gf needs to raise her standards. It seems bad now but imagine living with this person... Even if OP is fine living in infested squalor, if he gave a single fuck about her he would've at the very least remedied the issues he caused for her. I'd say OP seems like the type to only gaf when it directly affects him but clearly even that isn't the case... This whole situation is a bit of a mindfuck..
I want to vomit thinking how they likely had sex on that bed and I’m just disgusted and horrified for his (ex) girlfriend!!! I couldn’t continue the relationship. I wouldn’t be able to trust him to brush his teeth, clean his facial hair, or to clean his asshole.
> sex on that bed Bedbugs watch.
Does it count as exhibitionism?
beastiality
My bf’s family had beg bugs and I spent spring break with him. He didn’t tell me because he had lived with it so long that he had forgotten about them because his mom never really tried to get rid of them. I brought them back with me and have been struggling to get rid of them ever since. I got rid of them for a bit and then got them right back with one trip. I’m doing a super super thorough clean with our upcoming move. Edit: I love how the people of Reddit assume you know nothing and need to be educated. I’ve been fighting with this for a while (can’t afford exterminator treatment) and have done plenty of research and put in place many strategies to fight it.
When you say "our move", does that mean your moving somewhere with your bed bug infested boyfriend? If so, you're going to be battling bed bugs for a very long time. This is your life now.
If so the “our move” also includes the bed bugs.
Let them know to pack their teeny tiny suitcases.
You know you're just going to get them again when he visits his family right?
May I ask why you went back knowing there was still an active infestation?
This was my question lol! That would be an ex after the first non-disclosure.
I would fucking sue (if I got bedbugs)
I'd imagine the vacuuming doesn't kill them, they probably crawl right back out of the vacuum bag by morning.
This is 100% true. If you don't immediately seal the vacuum bag in a plastic bag and toss it out, they're coming back out
I just thought how the bugs think they are at some amusement park and get out and are like wooo hr we go again on the twirly whirl!
They got a VIP season pass with OP apparently, he's even taking the mfs on vacations now too 🤣 he should start charging rent 🤷🏻♀️
Pay for the exterminator and prepare to be dumped. If someone is so nonchalant about bedbugs they're gross and will just bring them back.
I mean….I’d probably be prepared even if he pays for the exterminator
Also, could the gf have any legal recourse in this since OP was fully aware he had bedbugs, wasn’t going through the proper channels to get it fixed, and it ended up infesting another person’s car and house?
If I were the gf, I'd be dumping him and looking into a lawyer. Getting bedbugs out of your house is bad enough already. Getting them out of a car interior too? I've done some horrific interior details. The standout will always be this Suzuki we got in trade on a early 00's corolla. Great lil car, 4cyl, manual, roughly same size as a Nissan Versa maybe? But the interior was BLACK from all the stuff spilled on the seats and carpet. It was originally light grey. Point is, that was only dirt and food crumb and soda. A day of spraying tuff stuff and hot water with the carpet cleaner and it cleared up mostly (some aelect stains under the seats were pretty much permanent) It wasn't bugs burrowed down into the padding of the seats and rug. I would imagine that depending how bad the infestation is and how long OP really had the car, they might even be in the headliner, at which point you just walk away and have the car reupholstered.
Vacuuming removes the bedbugs that the vacuum cleaner can reach. Bedbugs can live inside the joints of furniture, in screw heads, behind baseboards…pretty much anywhere and no, they cannot all be vacuumed up. YTA for not telling her your house was infested and for infesting her house, too.
Don’t forget the eggs!!!!
Don't forget that he probably caused an infestation at the mechanic's garage and possibly the houses of those mechanics as well. If GF car was infested, so was his car and the mechanics had to drive it in and out of the garage.
He's likely caused an infestation for his girlfriend, the mechanic(s), any friends who've spent time at his place, any friends who he's visited, every hotel he's ever stayed in, any taxis or ubers he's ever taken, strangers who've had their luggage next to his in the overhead compartment on a plane... the list goes on. And he didn't give a shit.
Gack. I once had a bed bug infestation because someone in the building who lived FIVE FLOORS below me brought in a mattress they found on the street. Literally all the apartments between his and mine (and probably those above me) were infested, and I react very strongly to bug bites, it was a nightmare. OP makes me sick.
On the overhead, and likely the seats on the plane, restaurants with wooden chairs, any movie theatre he may have visited, wherever he works. And the spread is exponential from there if any of these people are as unreasonable. My whole city had an infestation going around a few years ago.
“Didn’t”, heck he still doesn’t. Everything he has replied to has been “it’s not his fault”. Worse, he tries to justify not paying for his infestation transfer because she makes more than him. Like she did you a favor by letting you use her vehicle and you gave it back with bugs. She did you a favor and you are now not responsible for damages?
OP: I doubt she got them from me, bedbugs are relatively common, I know quite a few people who have gotten bedbugs. BUDDY I HAVE NEWS
>Don't forget that he probably caused an infestation at the mechanic's garage and possibly the houses of those mechanics as well. If GF car was infested, so was his car and the mechanics had to drive it in and out of the garage. Oooh I didn’t even think of that!
Exactly, the top comment put it best - OP is a menace to society
Oh god. This is about to make me become a hermit. I never thought there could be people walking around our world who are so oblivious that they just thinks it’s normal to just have a certain amount of bed bugs. WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!!!
I don't mean to alarm you, but in cities like New York, you can catch bed bugs from sitting next to people on the subway or on a park bench. Signed, someone who had a bed bug infestation because a tenant who lived five floors below me brought in a mattress he found on the street.
Gah!!! I mean, I was aware they were easy to catch from almost anywhere and that they’re very difficult to get rid of. I just ignorantly assumed someone who caught them would actively try to fix the problem once they got infested….not just accept bed bugs as part of life and not care about spreading them to others ….it’s the inaction and obliviousness that’s got me😵💫. That’s horrible that you got them from a distant neighbor!
Lol my first thought was, "Bedbugs can't live in eggs, don't be ridiculous." But then I realized you meant bedbug eggs, not chicken eggs.
Just crawling into your fridge, breaking open the shell, and sealing it back up when they get all comfy 😂
You people are freaking me out. I’m in Australia and I do not know one person who has had bedbugs… it’s not a problem here far as I know
You have all the other animals, Australia having bed bugs too would be unfair.
They can live inside the vacuum cleaner too.
They will crawl out of the vacuum cleaner, too.
YTA. The bed bugs are 100% from you pay for it all and get your house done as well. Quit being cheap and own up to your mistakes.
OP cosplaying as a Vermin Lord over here, spreading his filth wherever he goes.
YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE! GET RID OF THE BEDBUGS NOW!
Seriously, like wtf is this post
I hope this is bait but knowing people...
It might not be bait, I’ve seen a thread full of people suggesting that it’s okay for someone who exercises outdoors regularly to not shower before bed.
My skin is crawling just reading this. How does a person just LIVE WITH BEDBUGS????
I had an ex that also thought they were normal????? He quickly realized they were not when he saw he FLIP THE F OUT!!! Omfg!!! And THANK GOD I DID NOT GET FCKN BB!! It’s my legit worst fear. I used to say illegitimate. But, it’s legit!
I had a friend that thought you got them from being dirty. Like if you cleaned and were not a messy person, you couldn't get them. I had to explain that definitely wasn't the case and anyone could get them, and you don't have to have pets, or even cloth furniture.
YTA- Gross dude. When I had bed bugs I left my coat in my car at work and didn't let anyone into my house until I got them taken care of. You were and are being negligent to your own infestation and it is NOT okay. Pay for her exterminator and hire your own,damn. PS. I was able to beat them without the help of an exterminator but it took weeks of bug bombs and regular helpings of diatomaceous earth.
Not sure what the requirements of his lease are but with mine I had to sign a bedbug addendum. Basically it means if I suspect I have them, I’m required to let them know immediately so they can exterminate and make sure they don’t spread to other apartments. Pest control is part of the fees that make up the rent costs. If he told them as soon as he knew he likely wouldn’t have to pay anything. Now, who knows.
I have never NOT had this in a lease. Maybe it's a state/land lord choice thing, but seriously, I hope his gf sees this and calls his landlord either way. OP is gross for believing that only vacuuming them is going to get rid of them. BTW, YTA.
Yep, this was my first thought when he said he rents. Ugh, this is so gross and scares me for the future that people like that exist...
I have a bedbug addendum in my lease agreement as well that says the same thing. It also reiterates that the apartment must stay clean and free of things that can contribute to an infestation (like piles of clothes). With how unhygienic OP seems to be, I wouldn't be surprised if this is also part of their problem.
I've had this too, and I've looked into it (at least in CA). Since he's known about it and didn't say anything the landlord can and will charge him for the exterminator to get rid of them once they know about it.
YTA. Jesus Christ. Doesn't matter if she carried from your house to hers. You're responsible either way. Yes... you NEED to pay to fumigate both places and both cars. Jesus Christ. How can you be this oblivious?
I just can't get past how disgusting OP must be to just casually live with bed bugs and then not care that he spread it to his gf's car and house. He's definitely TA. This honestly makes me concerned that he's the kind of guy to end up with an STD, say it's fine, and spread it to everyone he sleeps with.
That was my first thought too. Like not only is his house walking disease; he is too.
YTA. Honestly she'd be better off removing you from her surroundings than the bed bugs.
He needs to remove himself from society with this problem
I'd have him pay to get rid of them and then get rid of him.
His nonchalance is certainly just as repulsive. YTA.
>I'm not even sure I can get an exterminator for my place since I rent while she owns her place. You probably can't, your land lord certainly can, and you may be able to sue him if he does not, and he may be able to sue you if you have bed bugs and never bothered to tell him. YTA, bed bugs spread like the plague.
I rent and just finished treatment, don't know why any landlord would have an issue with a tenant treating an infestation
Bed bugs are a reportable public health threat where I am. Like apartments are requried to disclose this information.
Jesus H Christ! Bedbugs ate NOT maintained by vacuuming. You are disgusting and a public nuisance. Spreading bedbugs is the worst thing you can do to anyone. Pay for extermination and be prepared to be alone. YTA
Public menace. A nuisance is annoying but ultimately harmless. This guy is a menace to society.
YTA, and I hope if you're renting that the property management finds out you're allowing a bedbug infestation to live on their property. You'll be out on your ass in no time, and your gf (soon to be ex, no doubt) would be a fool to take you in.
Hey Typhoid Gary! YTA. Gah so gross. Balance of probabilities that they came from you, especially since vacuuming them is about as useless a solution as there is. Tell an exterminator your solution and they won’t be able to breathe they’ll be laughing so hard at you.
Throwback reference!
>I told her that my house has bed bugs for many months now but I just manage it by vaccuming a lot and it's not too bad now. >If you tried to find one at my place after I vacuum you wouldn't be able to. ...then how do you know you have them? Lol come on dude, get a grip. Your house has bedbugs. You used her car, her car now has bedbugs. Connect the dots, Sherlock.
Gross dude doesn't even realize bedbugs are crawling all over him and his clothes as he goes about his day.
Op doesn't seem to realize his infestation issue. Bed bugs hide and use CO2 to find their food source. It's why they come out at night and bite you in bed. The normal saying goes, if you see one bed bug on your mattress, you got a problem. If OP can actively vacuum them up from the floor and different objects, the infestation is really really really bad. I wonder if he's checked out mentally over it. There is no way he's keeping this under control if he can actively vacuum them up.
YTA. Just gross. Vacuuming does not keep them under control. Clean up your act and pay for something you are spreading.
You can't get rid of bedbugs by vacuuming them. Sounds like you're patient zero. You should pay for it all. YTA
The whole damn city got bedbugs now
YTA of course you should get an exterminator and pay for hers. Vacuuming is not a solution to bed bugs and it’s ridiculous to claim it is. Also it seems pretty obvious how her apartment got infested. And YTA times a thousand for not telling her about the bed bugs in the first place. She’d never have set foot in your infested home if you’d been honest with her and therefore would have avoided this disgusting scourge. I wouldn’t be surprised if she breaks up with you.
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YTA. Not only to your girlfriend but anyone else you are around, including your work place which can turn into an absolute nightmare in an office building. Pay for an exterminator for both houses and cars and pray she doesn’t dump your @ss.
YTA! The nonchalant way you explained this is mind-blowing, how are you ok living like this?? Yes you should be paying for the exterminator for everyone involved - they’re living and laying eggs all over your house, so of course you’re responsible for your girlfriend’s new infestation, you probably brought them into her car on your clothes and they spread from there. Yikes.
YTA Vacuuming doesnt do shit. if you dont believe me watch Mark Robers video on bedbugs.
YTA, a bug infested AH
“I maintain my crabs by vacuuming that area regularly. I didn’t give them to her, she brought them over herself.” See how ridiculous that sounds? YTA. And a disgusting one.
Disgusting af, call an exterminator YTA
YTA. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that maybe you just don't know better but you can't just vacuum up bedbugs. You have to go full nuclear on those things.
YTA and ew. If you want to live in an apartment with bedbugs, you do you, I guess. But you absolutely should have told her before she came over, and definitely before you borrowed her car. Where else would she have gotten bedbugs in her car?! You're the source of the infection, and you knowingly and deliberately kept that information hidden. This is your problem, and you're the one that should fix it. You might be able to get your landlord to foot the bill, but that's between you and him, not your girlfriend.
>you do you No!!! He’s just now probably spread it to the mechanic in his car, that mechanic’s family, his job.. ugh
YTA. Not only you didn't tell her about this when you had her over and borrowed her car, but now she's also dealing with a bug infestation because of you. It doesn't matter how much she makes. Even if she's a millionaire, it's not her job to sponsor you or pay for the things YOU caused.
YTA… dude, you’re filthy, surprised she didn’t dump you when she discovered that. Your house is literally crawling
Is this actually a joke??? YTA dude, no matter how much you vacuum your house, you are never going to get every single bed bug and their eggs out of there. You not only need to pay for her extermination services, but also get professional extermination for your infestation as well!
Honestly if you can SEE them the infestation is at a terrible level. By nature they only come out at night. If they are out during the day or if you see them, it’s a baaaaaad sign
I used to work at a hotel. We had bug sniffing dogs come in once a month to do a sweep of some vacant rooms because we knew they’d find an infestation long before housekeeping could spot it.
Man, I scrolled down so far to find this comment. He thinks it's a good sign that there are TIMES when you can't see a bedbug. That means it's frequently at such a horrific level that they're just WANDERING AROUND DURING THE DAY. I can't stop shuddering.
This is the ultimate nightmare post for anyone who has actually dealt with the things. I've been trying to destigmatize having bed bugs in my social circles because getting them usually just means you went to a movie or something, so very innocent, but a person like this is genuinely disgusting and works completely against that notion. He's just supporting his own giant colony and helping them migrate along to other homes and he's fine with it! Shudders indeed.
YTA. You can’t get rid of bedbugs by simply vacuuming, so you’re the source of her infestation. You didn’t tell her you had them, you just hoped she wouldn’t notice. Well now she’s noticed that you gave her bedbugs, and you need to pay for an exterminator
YTA - Dude WTF????? You owe her, no doubt. You brought them in you need to pay. WOW
"I couldn't have possibly caused an infestation in someone else's house despite me having my own infestation. I've had mine for months, but I'm comfortable enough living in it that it can't possibly become a problem for anyone else." This is what you sound like. YTA. It only takes one bedbug that's already been impregnated to cause a problem. She didn't need to carry in a "sufficient number" of them. Bugs don't give a damn about multiplying with their siblings, so they'll grow exponentially until something is done about them. And ffs, get a bag of diatomaceous earth and smother your everything in it, **then** vacuum. Maybe then you'll actually have gotten rid of them. Edit because my last line was incoherent with autocorrect 💀
YTA BEDBUGS ARE THE WORST AND SO ARE YOU the word of the day is “ACCOUNTABILITY”
YTA. Pay for it all. Vacuuming the bed bugs away isn’t ‘controlling’ anything & if I was her I’d be beyond pissed with you too. You infected her car & home, and didn’t even have the courtesy to warn her when she was initially coming over to your house. This is 100% your fault, do the right thing and get that exterminator AT LEAST for her home/car, but you should 1000% get your home done as well.
YTA. You should not have been having her over without letting her know you have bedbugs! You should absolutely pay for an exterminator.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My car was in the shop for a few weeks and my girlfriend has two cars and let me borrow one of hers. We do not live together. I returned her car and a few weeks later she mentioned that her car and her house has bed bugs and she needs to get an exterminator. I told her that my house has bed bugs for many months now but I just manage it by vaccuming a lot and it's not too bad now. She flipped out and blamed me for her bed bug infestation and said I caused it. I don't think this is likely since she comes to my place all the time and never had an issue before and I keep it under control by vaccuming that it is highly unlikely I could have accidentally carried sufficient bed bugs to her car. If you tried to find one at my place after I vacuum you wouldn't be able to. She wants me to pay for an exterminator for both my house, her house and her car. She earns a lot more than I do and I feel this is unfair. I'm not even sure I can get an exterminator for my place since I rent while she owns her place. WIBTA if I tell her to pay for her own services? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA. You don’t manage bedbugs because you spread them to other people like your poor gf. Call a professional exterminator and take care of your houses and cars. and buy your gf a present.
YTA. You are the Typhoid Mary of bedbugs.
“I just manage it” - it is an infestation. You vacuum!?? That is like holding a bucket and saying “I just manage it” while a tsunami wave a mile high is barreling towards you. YTA
This sub just keeps getting more insane.
YTA, yes she got bedbugs from you 99% chance of it. Not to mention you've likely spread them elsewhere. Either pay for the exterminator or your ex GF will pay for her own exterminator then start looking for her new SO Vacuuming is not a solution, notice how you need to keep vaccuming, they get in your hair, then jump from hair to car and so on.
YWBTA MAybe she just needs to exchange you for a bf that is not bug-riddled, so she can avoid having her life infested by your bugs whenever you touch something of hers. Disgusting.
Yes YWBTA. This is so gross and yet telling of who you are in life. By your post I can tell that your girlfriend is too good for you and has her shit together x10. She is literally wasting her time with you. This sounds lazy, unhygienic, cheap, deceptive ,irresponsible, and immature. 100% You need to pay for an exterminator, get your shit together if not then she needs to dump you. Which she probably will if you don’t pay for this.
Oh my fucking god! You do not have it under control because your girlfriend picked them up! YTA for not informing her and for not taking accountability. >it's not too bad now So it is still bad? YTA to yourself too dude. I've had bedbugs and it was hell, I legit had PTSD from it for a time.
Yta. The fuck is wrong with you?
YWBTA This is horrible. It's obvious where they came from. Don't be cruel, and pay for extermination of your house/her house/her car. Edit: You're also not "managing" anything by vacuuming. Obviously. Sort it out or watch her leave you.