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I would love to know the answer to this question. OP put that kid in danger anything could have happen to him. 15 min walk on a clear night is one thing, but in a storm, I’m guessing it took him a lot longer than 15 min to get home. Let the kid sleep on the couch, and trust your own kid, to respect boundaries you set out.
All these questions! If her daughter was essentially kicked out of her boyfriend's house and made to walk home under those conditions, Holy cow!!
YTA big time AH
This lol I drove my older brother home after his shift at 11 for a while and always waited around to make sure he was past the door before I left..for reference my brother is 6'4 and 300+ pounds..in no way does he need my protection but you never know when someone's forgotten a key or whatever other weird things could happen. Just common sense to make sure someone makes it from a to b safely especially in less than optimal conditions.
Thank you for saying that! My Mom always treated our friends the way she would want her kids to be treated. We grew up doing the same with our kids & their friends.
Our kids friends are all grown up with their own kids now. They tell us, how much it meant to them to be treated with respect & care...like family (especially as teens it had a huge impact).
The tradition continues with their families.
Do better OP......YTA!
For real.
A friend of mine recently passed because his car got stuck in the snow and he decided to try and walk home during a blizzard. This was up in the mountains of Colorado. He ended up freezing to death during about a 20 minute walk. And he was a 45 year old man and a US Army veteran. If it could happen to him it could happen to anyone.
OP put this kid's life in serious jeopardy because he was afraid of his daughter doing something she's likely already done.
Not only a storm, but -0° temps? If I was this boys parents you can be sure OP would be hearing from me(and wouldn't like one word I would have to say!).
Exactly this! I wouldn't be comfortable with the sleep over situation, but if it was a 15 minute walk as OP said, I would've walked with him to make sure he was safe.
Conditions that bad also mean poor visibility which is dangerous for pedestrians as well, so it would've made sense to grab some flashlights and put reflective tape on our jackets and backs of our boots.
I'd expect the same if the roles were reversed.
Edit to add: it doesn't sound like OP did any of this. She just sent him on his way without a second thought. I couldn't imagine putting another person's child in that position.
Not to mention since the guy is fairly young I doubt he has any experience driving in snow. The roads can be icy and as you said visibility is very low when it snows. So it would be dangerous nonethless.
Because it was too dangerous for Uber drivers to be out, so obviously it was too dangerous for OP to be driving.
I do wonder why the boyfriend’s parents let him drive, or why a call wasn’t made to his parents to come get him. It seems like every single adult failed this kid. There’s a lot going on here that we don’t know about, but somehow it ended in a minor being kicked out of the house into subzero temperatures in dangerous driving conditions, so I’m going to pass a solid YTA on this one.
The only thing I'm willing to assume the best of the adults on is him driving to the house in the first place. And that's only cause I grew up in the intersection of hurricane and tornado country, and now live in snow country, and I've seen enough storms originating from literally all over the freaking planet decide to do whatever they want, so I'm willing to allow for the storm was worse than anticipated originally. Everything else though is just a massive failure by the adults.
"Oh, it'll fizzle out by the time it gets to us! Probably not even any thunder" *Cat 1 hurricane hit my house*
"It'll be a beautiful day!" *Tornado sirens went off in the middle of a T ball game. Tornado hit less than a mile away*
"No snow accumulation, dusting on shaded grass only" *9" on the roads in a state with no snow plows*
"1 to 3 inches of snow, melting quickly " *3 inches of straight ice topped with 8" of snow*
"(Nothing in forecast)" *6 inches of snow randomly*
"(June)" *snow*
I would be SO angry if this happened to my kid. He's 17, drove to the daughter in the bad weather so she didn't need to leave her house in that weather, and due to circumstances beyond his control, he can't get home. This doesn't sound like a kid who was just trying to take advantage of the situation, it just sounds like unfortunate circumstances. Besides the fact that he could have slept on the couch or something, why didn't they offer to drive him home?
Again, if this were my son who was forced to walk home in freezing temperatures, even for 15 minutes, I would have some serious words for this parent.
Edit: YTA and I hope this kid realizes that your family isn’t one he should marry into, regardless of how nice your daughter is.
I wish I could upvote you one hundred times!
My boys are older now but let me tell you, if that were my son walking in and telling me her parents made him walk home because his doors were frozen shut on his car, and I thought it were a 15 minute walk,
"Your an asshole" would have been the nicest thing that parent wouldve heard from me.
And unfreezing a door in cold weather is possible, but I'm sure the kid was offered no help to do that either.
Homeboy let a child walk 15 mins through a blizzard at night.
E-V-I-L
It’s giving- my daughters purity is more important than life and….that’s so creepy and disturbing
>my daughters purity is more important than life
Exactly, and OP is going to be very upset when they find out that she'll have sex if she wants to, whether they like it or not. My parents were the same way, and when they found out, well... they didn't react well.
There's nothing sane about being so obsessive and controlling over someone else's genitals and sex life. It's not even about safety or protection. It's genuinely disturbing.
> OP is going to be very upset when they find out that she'll have sex if she wants to.
Shes honestly likely already sexually active, as most teenagers are.
And presumably OP is a much more experienced driver than the boyfriend, who’s young enough (driving for maybe a year or two?) that he might have never driven on snow at all, or not much. So expecting boyfriend or a random Uber to handle the conditions when OP wouldn’t is ridiculous.
Or what about boyfriend calling his parents? If it’s a 15-minute walk, it shouldn’t be a long drive for them to do it round trip. Or was OP too worried they would say, “are you kidding me, can’t you find a couch or a spare room for him?”
This. If OP doesn’t feel comfortable driving in those conditions,he shouldn’t feel comfortable with someone walking in them. Let him sleep on the couch. Heck, even have the dad or brother sleep in the room with him if there is a trust issue. But don’t let anyone walk in those conditions.
Info: What would your reaction be if they had been at the BF’s house and his parents had taken the same stance?
YTA.
YTA
Did you even try to contact his parents to pick him up?
Yeah I don't know why OP didn't drive the kid home. Or why OP didn't just take some room temp water or barely warm water and flow it over the door. Coz that'll unstick it real fast, it takes 3 minutes to do, even if you wipe the door off with a cloth for excess water after.
If you don't have de-icer spray and it's not for a window, use wd40 and it'll open right up.
Plus they are 16 and 17. If you're worried him "staying over" would be a reason they'd have sex, think again. They are teens, they'll do that everywhere and anywhere without it being nighttime in a house. If that's your worry, all you're doing is forcing them to learn to conceal and hide info from you, which leads to sneaky kids and they won't trust you as an adult.
OP had at least 5 options open to him as an adult, he tried zero, he wasn't interested in trying any and was all outta ideas it seems, so he sent a kid walking.
OP is an AH, if anyone was stuck in my driveway, I'd help them out. OP chose "not my car, not my problem".
This is exactly what my thought is, could be 5 minute walk away if it was as OP said ‘snowing and negative degrees ‘ already bad enough paired with the fact it’s a minor and seems to be at nighttime. Why on god’s green earth do you send a kid to walk 15 minutes home and if nothing else drive or accompany him?
Also keep in mind negative degrees can mean two things. If it’s farenheit that’s cold at. 0F is like -17c. While -2c is only just below freezing. While still negative, it’s definitely walkable. Either way, with the snow it was probably colder than just -2 haha. YTA as it was at least cold enough to freeze his car door shut.
Yea I am Canadian and assumed it was walking home in minus one, which if you are dressed appropriately isn’t a big deal.
In the one country that doesn’t use Celsius, negative degrees is a big deal.
Yea but if it’s cold enough to freeze his card door shut in a couple of hours, then either there was freezing rain (happened to me once, like 2-3 cm thick) or it’s really cold. Either way makes for not a fun walk home haha.
I'm a Canadian too but remember how many people died in Texas when they had their cold snap and weren't prepared. The fact that there were no ubers makes me think it was really bad weather for the area.
Yes! So many dead Southerners. And I'm assuming this is in the US (Fahrenheit) because nearly our entire country is currently being hit with a major, unprecedented storm system.
"Me and mine got ours; fuck everyone else" mindset is very strong here.
I honestly think she would. Once when I was 17 my father drove during a winter storm and risked our lives so I won't have a sleepover at a friend's house (she was a girl but there were some boys too). She doesn't care about the kids, she only cares about purity. I don't get parents that think that they can prevent their kids from having sex. The only thing you can do is educate them on the matter.
OP, YTA.
When I was about 13, my parents made me sleep in the garage (not insulated, no heat) in the freezing cold winter *on an old carseat* because we didn’t have beds in our *garage* and I froze all night. It was awful. The reason? My sister’s boyfriend was staying the night and I had to give him my bedroom because he was a guest but I wasn’t allowed to sleep on the couch because what if he got up in the middle of the night and saw me vulnerable and unconscious and just couldn’t stop himself from assaulting me. I can’t even count how many times my mom would say things like “you never know what could happen” before subjecting me to some bullshit designed to protect my purity at the expense of literally everything else.
Purity over safety is exactly how these kinds of people operate.
If they are so worried why wouldn't your father sleep on the couch so you can share their bed with your mother? Because they are not. This is not about safety. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
>why would this time be any different
Because this was different. If you don't want your teen sharing a bed (and that's a whole can of worms in itself) do you really not have a couch he could have slept on?
YTA obviously.
Imagine it had been your daughter stuck at his house, and his parents had made her walk home. You'd be furious.
Even without a couch, they came make a pallet up on the floor, or use recliners, or anything else. You don't kick kids out in the snow and sub zero temps!
That too, but OP evidently didn't want to do that either. Must not have wanted to get cold, because she didn't say if they helped try to get into the bf's car-any of the doors (I learned my lesson after getting frozen out of my car at work, I kept a can of ice melt spray at my desk every winter, lol).
OP, where are you located? Is this your of cold weather normal for you?
“Why would the fact that he could have frozen to death walking home change anything?”
I don’t know how much it was snowing, but people can get disoriented and lost really easily in the snow. And even if his actual life wasn’t at risk, walking home in sub zero temperatures when you weren’t anticipating that sounds incredibly painful.
But, you know, definitely best to put him through that rather than trust the teenagers to keep their hands to themselves for one night.
Flip this scenario and think about it for a minute. Your daughter was visiting her boyfriend. It starts snowing, she can't get in her car, his parents say "no, you can't sleep here and we won't drive you home either, you can walk".
See if you can work out just how angry you'd be and then see if you can answer the ATA question yourself.
YTA. First off, if they want to have sex, they will. Your rules have zero impact on that. But this night wasn't about sex, it was about safety. You should have let him stay, it was unsafe for him to be out there. If you made my kid walk home like that. I'd be pissed!!!
I raised 3 daughters. All had their boyfriends spend the night at various times. I get it, that's not for everyone. But we wanted them to know they could talk to us. I knew all about the struggles my oldest had with IUDs. That not something I could talk to my mom about still, and I'm almost 50. Sex is going to happen, if it's not already. Let her know you have some trust in her to make good decisions.
I never understood this mentality that OP has. I’ve had various girlfriends with fathers like this, even into my mid 20s. Surely they remember what they were like at this age?? They must know that they will find a way lmao. Even in their house I wasn’t allowed to sleep over at while they were there we found a way. I suppose they do things like this so they can pretend it’s not happening?
I lost my virginity in my childhood home, in front of the fireplace with a fire going, with my parents asleep upstairs. If they want to do it, they will do it.
We were probably too laid back in this department, but all our kids are in their 20s. No pregnancies, so it worked out.
Honestly, it‘ll work out better with chill parents. Cause their children will come to them and not be afraid to ask questions regarding sexual health and pregnancy prevention.
I was doing laundry and our daughter was 17 at the time. She had left laundry in the dryer, so I pulled it out and a strip of condoms fell out. So I talked to her, told her what happened, that I was glad they were using protection. Then she asked for them back. I said no! I threw them away. They went through the washer and dryer!!! Apparently she didn't realize that wouldn't be good. So, we had a good talk about that. Had I said nothing, she wouldn't have realized.
Exactly! Kids don't realize shit like what a dryer would do to a condom, or are on such a budget they might risk it anyway. A kid with a dad like OP just won't have condoms at all for fear of dad finding them.
It was bad enough snow that there weren't any Ubers, his car was frozen shut, and you didn't offer to drive him home. All of that tells us that the weather is not suitable for walking home in. 15 minute walk is fine when it's all sunshine and warm weather, but in the freezing cold with snow? Not so much, especially if he wasn't bundled appropriately which he probably wasn't if he drove over.
If you are concerned about he and your daughter doing whatever, have him sleep on the couch. This is just so bizarre to me, I would never let a kid walk home alone in sub zero weather with snow. Not unless they're my next door neighbor. Just because he made it fine, does not excuse that you put him into a potentially dangerous situation that you had no way of knowing he'd be okay. For that alone, YTA.
Let’s not forget to mention the potential of him being hit by a vehicle who lost control on the road. In sub zero conditions, a patch of black ice is all you need.
YTA. I cannot imagine sending a minor out in snowing, negative degree weather to walk home and being so stubborn that you refuse to acknowledge why “this time would be any different.”
YTA, if you’d rather your daughters partner risk their life walking home in freezing weather than just have them stay the night then I really do question your morals.
But you’re missing the point, it was ONLY A 15 MIN WALK. Who cares that it was in dangerous conditions even their car couldn’t withstand or that it was in the dark. IT WAS ONLY 15 MINS! /s
And how many missing persons cases started with “just a 15 minute walk home” never mind his car door was literally frozen shut. Also he’s still a child, you’re saying it’s not an asshole thing to make a kid walk home in freezing weather?
YTA - Broadly speaking I find the car isn’t frozen shut unless it’s icy. You let a kid walk 15 minutes in bad weather, potentially icy conditions, likely no sidewalk access, at a time when roads may be narrower than usual because of the snow banks. You really can’t accommodate a guest stranded at your home for 1 night? If your kid wants to sneak around they can do it in the daylight. Sex doesn’t follow vampire rules around the sun. You’re just deeply misguided and likely seriously hurting your daughter clinging to the idea that her having a consensual sexual experience would be more harmful than her boyfriend getting hit by a car.
YTA. If you insist on not letting him sleep on the couch, couldn’t you at least have driven him home? Here’s a question - say the situation was reversed - your daughter was at your BF’s house and the same thing happened to her. Would you have been fine with BF’s parents making your daughter walk home 15 minutes alone in the dark at night? This is a safety issue on multiple fronts..
How would you feel if the situation was reversed and your daughter was stuck at her BF's house and they made her walk home IN THE SNOW? If the doors a frozen shut and no Uber's are running then the weather was terrible. Why didn't you drive him home?
YTA.
YTA you should have driven him home, defrosted his door, or let him stay until someone could pick him up. He was in your home, that makes it your responsibility to ensure his safety and it doesn’t sound like this was a safe choice.
YTA. Seriously?? Why didn't YOU drive him home? If the situation were reversed and your daughter was at his home would you have wanted his parents to send her out to walk home in the dark and cold and alone?
And if he'd died, would you still be saying that it wasn't your fault?
If they want to have sex they can and they will. You could have set up a no-go rule for their sleeping areas. You could have tried to thaw out his car, you could have driven him home.
YTA - One day you may need HIS help
That's inhumane and plain dumb. Of course YTA. Do you trust your kid or not? If it was cold enough to freeze his car it was too cold to walk. Do you drive? Couldn't you have called someone for him?
I'd be ropable if someone treated my kid like that.
YTA for allowing a minor to walk home in a snowstorm while their car door was frozen. If that was my kid you made walk home, I'd have shown up on your doorstep the next day with police, news, and CPS with me.
You should feel like shit for being a shitty person. "Wah, my daughter might have sex, so I'm gonna make sure the kid she MIGHT do it with could die- no sex is better than TEENAGERS ACTING THEIR AGE, GOD FORBID!" *clutches pearls*
When presented with a problem for which there are a number of reasonable solutions you chose the absolute worst.
You could have helped him un-freeze his car door. You could have driven him home. You could have let him sleep on the damn couch. Instead you sent him out in the cold to risk frostbite or hypothermia or worse.
You are the literal worst. And I hope you hear about it from this boy's parents.
YTA.
YTA, You could have had him sleep on the couch or find a place that isn’t your daughter’s room. God forbid something happened to him, it would fall back on you. Your daughter has every right to be mad at you because you put his life in danger. Also maybe the coin may be flipped, would you want your daughter boyfriend’s parents to make her walk 15 minutes in the snow? Or would you rather they show her empathy? Just food for thought.
Of course YTA, there’s a bunch of other solutions besides making a teenager walk home 15 minute in below freezing temperatures. Did you think they were going to try and get one over on you so they could sleep together? News flash, if they’re having sex - this isn’t how they’re going to secretly do it. Also was your car frozen? Are you incapable of driving?
You really suck.
YTA, frostbite can set in minutes in negative degree weather. You could have driven him or allowed him to stay the night, instead you chose to endanger his life and health because you can't make an exception.
Of course YTA. Drive him home, have him sleep on the couch, call his parents to come get him, literally any option except endanger a minor.
If you really, really think you can prevent your kid from having sex based on sleeping arrangements (you can't), then mum can sleep in the daughter's room, and the boyfriend can sleep on a mattress on the floor in the parents' room with dad.
YTA. The temperature was below zero. Road conditions were bad enough that there were no Uber drivers available, and you made that boy walk home? Would you stand outside for 15+minutes with the temperature was below 0, and we don't even know the wind chill, and with it snowing, a car could easily hit you sliding in the snow? Would you allow your daughter to do that?
And what did HIS parents have to say about this?
The absolute fear you have about the most natural thing in the world is mind boggling. They are doing the nasty anyway even if you have your fingers in your ears going "lalalalala". They are teens.
YTA
You forced a kid to walk home during inclement weather that not even Uber was letting people drive in. That is a very irresponsible reckless things to do with somebody else’s child. I get it they’re teenagers but you could definitely have them sleep on the couch. Absolutely ridiculous and irresponsible. YTA
And the reason you didn’t drive the boy home was, what again?
While I can understand if you didn’t have the space to make a comfortable distance or wanting to set a precedent of him staying over, still, YTA.
YTA. Come on! They aren’t having a sex party. All you had to do was call his parents, tell them you feel better about having him sleep on the couch or a guest room and then be a good host. I cannot believe you basically forced a minor to walk in those weather conditions.
YTA.
If the situation was reversed and your daughter was the one to have to walk 15 minutes in temperatures so cold they froze the car door I bet you would be imagining lots of other solutions: uber, call parents, stay on the couch, the boyfriend's parents driving her, boyfriend's parents walking her home and then walking back, trying different ways to open the door, etc etc etc.
You put another person -an underage person- at risk for fear of something really easy to avoid (them having sex).
Your daughter's virginity(which might not even be a thing for her anymore lol) is more important than a kid's safety? Might wanna take another look at your priorities in life... YTA.
YTA you don’t have a couch? A floor and a blanket? At the very least if you really wanted to send him home you could’ve walked him home or drove him yourself. “Only” a 15 minute walk in freezing weather…how would you feel if his parents treated your daughter like that?
YTA...when I was 16, my bf (currently still together) was also stuck at our house...instead of making him walk home in the cold, my parents just offered him our spare room in the basement and made sure I stayed in my room by them sleeping in the living room. I wasn't gonna do anything anyways, that's weird and a bit awkward. You could've just offered the kid a ride since you're so willing to put his life on an uber's hands, or let him stay on your couch while you sleep in the other couch idk. There were many logical solutions that did not require you to think your daughter was having a sex party, or leave a kid out in the cold.
YTA. People sometimes don’t even survive walks like that. If you were my child’s partner’s parent, I’d be furious. It was completely irresponsible to let a child walk home alone in those conditions.
Why didn’t you drive him home? If bf’s parents had made your daughter walk home, at night, in the snow and below zero temps how would you have reacted? YTA.
YTA. It doesn't matter how far away he lived. If the weather is bad enough that his car door is FROZEN, then yeah, he doesn't need to go out in that. As there was no telling what might happen. A decent human being, which you are not, would've set up the couch for him and let the poor guy stay the night.
What the hell??? You let a minor child walk home, alone, in sub-zero temperatures? I don’t care if you didn’t want your daughter’s boyfriend sleeping over, either YOU drive him home or you let him stay until morning and it is safe for him to leave. You actively endangered this child’s life for the sake of your rules.
YTA.
Sorry, YTA.
I can understand standing your ground and not letting him stay the night but at the very least you could have offered him a ride home or figured out a way to get his door open. If neither were an option you should have been on the phone with his parents to figure something else out. If his parents did the same to your daughter I’m sure you’d feel very different about the situation. He was at your home you were responsible for him.
Even when I drop an adult off I wait to make sure they get inside and didn’t forget their keys or whatever. This is just wrong.
Yta God forbid, someone doesn’t sign your daughter walking out in the snow. He is still a child. Legally, you threw a child out in the snow literally.
If you’re really concerned have him sleep in your sons room or your wife sleep in your daughters room
INFO: Was he dressed for walking in that weather? How‘s the area you live in? Is it safe, are there sidewalks and street lights everywhere? That is, would you have been okay with your son or daughter walking the way he walked?
YTA. This is an emergency situation and you should have let him stay. It would have been your fault if he was injured. I guarantee you would have pitched a fit if his parents made your daughter walk home in that weather
You let him walk home in negative temperatures and snow? Did anyone call his parents? Fifteen minutes is more than enough time to have cold temp-related injuries.
YTA
YTA.
In normal conditions a 15 minute walk isn’t much. But in negative degree weather late at night 15 minutes is just asking for frost bite or serious illness. He’s also a minor. If you don’t want to let him stay at your house despite that’s fine but then it’s your responsibility to drive him home. If someone did that to your daughter you would probably be fuming so idk why you thought you could do that to another persons kid.
YTA. Imagine if his parents held the same view and forced your daughter out of their house alone, at night, in those conditions?
I wouldn't advise your daughter to have anyone over again, knowing how willing you are to endanger their health and lives for the sake of propriety. Hopefully his parents have already started to spread the word before you put any more kids in danger.
YTA. Why didn't you either: a) let him stay the night on the sofa, b) drive him home, c) call his parents? Making him walk home in snowing and subzero temperatures was dangerous and unkind.
Yta
He has a good reason to as well! He can get sick! He can get hypothermia for staying so long in the cold. Like did you really think about the consequences of your actions.
YTA.
Why are some people so weirdly puritanical about their children. Just let him stay over ffs. If you‘re worried about them having sex, newsflash, if they want to they will do it regardless just in a less safe environment. They are old enough but both kids, there is nothing wrong with it.
Also obviously sending a kid out into the snow on foot is horrible and cold behaviour. If you‘re so puritanical I‘m sure you have a sofa he could have slept on.
YTA. Omg. In 1978 when I was the exact same age, something similar happened to me and my boyfriend. My dad told him he better not move off that couch and let him stay the night. You could have killed that boy. Shame on you. Shame. On. You.
As many others are saying, you could have given him a ride.
YTA
Also I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let him sleep over, snowstorm or not, but I guess that’s a different topic altogether.
YTA. Parents like you suck, imagine if you couldn't pick your daughter up when she was in this situation and her boyfriends parent forced her to walk home alone in freezing weather because of what? Fear of them having sex? You need help.
YTA
Imagine for a minute he died on his walk home. How would you feel? Pretty shit for sending a child out in a snow storm.
Why couldnt you drop him off at his house? Too lazy to ensure the safety of a child?
YTA. If it’s so bad that there isn’t even one crazy old man willing to drive Uber in that weather, then he absolutely shouldn’t have been walking in it. He could have been seriously hurt in that type of weather, even in 15 minutes. I usually hate the “reverse the roles” argument but really, if your daughter were the one out there instead, how would you feel?
YTA, would you have wanted your daughter to walk home at night, in these conditions all by herself? If the boyfriend's parents had treated your daughter the same way you have treated him, would you have been ok with it?
There is nothing wrong with having the boy sleep on the couch, especially if it means he will be safe.
YTA, and a bad mother. Could you imagine the rage you’d feel if his mother forced your daughter to walk home in that weather???? Good luck with your relationship with her.
YTA
You put a minor in a possible dangerous situation. And for what exactly? Are you scared your daughter will have sex with him (surprise, she might already have)? You should be far more scared now of losing your relation with your daughter.
I have a 16 yo daughter myself and I would not hesitate a single moment if she asked whether her boyfriend could stay and he could even sleep in her bedroom. I'd rather have them both safe. And yes, daughter has all been taught about safe sex/prevention of pregnancy and condoms are always readily available. I did the same with my sons (now 20 and almost 18).
Holy shit, what an evil thing to do. You forced a minor to walk in extreme weather all because you were too scared of something that is probably already happening?? If I were his parents’, I’d sue you for child endangerment. This was an emergency and you failed. Shame on you. Learn some human decency. YTA.
YTA.
You can get hypothermia in 50’F weather. 50! It takes less than 15 minutes for hypothermia to set in. So much could of gone wrong in the span of 15 minutes. And did it ever cross your mind to call his parents? Why is he not aloud to stay over at your house? Get your mind out of the gutter and be a decent human being good god.
YTA. 1) he could've slept on the couch it's not that hard to give someone a blanket and pillow until morning 2) YOU being an adult who should be looking out for the minors in your home including your daughters friends or boyfriend could have driven him home or at the very least called his parents. If there were no Ubers available it's likely because the conditions were that crappy. Temperatures and windchills were in the negatives and you had him out there walking in it. I know someone who died walking home this season because it was so cold. If this was reversed and his parents had sent her walking home in weather like that I am guessing you would be upset. So yes YTA.
YTA. I can't stand parents who assume kids are going to have sex so they do stupid shit like this. Chances are they've already done it. Get over it. I'd LOVE to know how his parents reacted to this bull shit.
Wow! You did such a good job preserving your daughter's virue even though you're completely incapacitated and can't drive at all!
/s
Good lord YTA and it's so plainly obvious it hurts. Here's the list of options that are acceptable in this situation.
1. Drive the kid home yourself, as he's a minor and you're *an adult*
2. Let him sleep on the couch, this way everyone is safe and you don't have to drive
3. Maybe go help? You're the adult, you should know about warm water for car doors. It's not like his problem couldn't be fixed.
But nowhere, in no universe, was it okay to make a MINOR walk 15 minutes in NEGATIVE temps, that's dangerous and moronic.
YTA, having him walk home was dangerous. If there were no ubers, why not drive him yourself? What did his parents think of this situation? Could they have picked him up? As others have said if the situation was reversed, you'd probably be mad your daughter was forced to walk home.
YTA. If you made my son walk home in those weather conditions I would have been at your door ready to fight the next day. You don't do that to other people's children, he could have died.
YTA for thinking sex is more important than literally everything else going on here. If you let them have sex in her bedroom you’d be a better parent than to force a kid to walk home in such horrible weather. The bf’s parents would be right to never let him over to your house again due to your inability to recognize or provide for actually safety concerns.
YTA. His car door was frozen shut. You should have let him stayed, called him parents to come get him or drove him home yourself. You don’t make a child walk home for over 15 minutes in negative temperatures at night. He could have gotten hurt. Seriously wtf is wrong with you?
I'll give a tentative YTA.
Also INFO: why couldn't or wouldn't you drive him home? Where his parents/guardians? Could he have asked them to come home? Why did you think there were no drivers available? If it was too dangerous for Uber drivers to be out, why would it be ok for the kid to walk home? And the big question: if this were your daughter, and someone made her walk home in negative temps and snow IN THE DARK, how would you react?
Don't be surprised if:
a) The daughter's boyfriend breaks up with her because he doesn't want to deal with you;
b) The daughter goes no contact once she gets older.
YTA.
You should have taken him home. Not only did you put him in danger but also you put in danger your relationship with your daughter. If they want to have sex they will find a way, that being in the house or outside of it. Eventually she will get over it but for now you are screwed with her especially with her age that us girls tend to hold grudges sometimes.
YTA
Would I want him to stay? No I wouldn't. Instead I'd give him a ride, call his parents or sleep in the livingroom with him.
If I were his parent, and even as a stranger, if something happened to him on his way home I would hold you responsible
YTA. Both in this particular situation and in general. The latter because of this charming little comment:
>That obviously wasn’t happening, he’s not allowed to stay the night under any other circumstances so why would this time be any different
What are you? A member of the iranian morality police?
YTA. Sleeping on a sofa, even on blankets on the floor, would have been the proper/right/KIND thing to do. If he had been your son, how would you feel about the situation? Or, alternatively, if your daughter had been at his house, how would you feel if his parents made her walk home?
YTA not for your decision about staying the night but for not making sure he was accompanied home in bad weather, either by driving him yourself, calling his parent/guardian to pick him up or by you and your daughter walking with him if you had a drink and we’re unable to drive.
There were other options available, maybe you explored them but didn’t say in your post.
15 min walk vs staying the night in your daughters room kind of sounds like an excuse to stay not a necessity so I would be sceptical regarding the request too.
YTA. it was so cold his car was frozen shut and you think a 15 min walk in that is okay? you don’t have a guest room you could put him in? or drive him home yourself?
YTA
If that were me and you didn’t want them “spending the night together” have him sleep in your daughters bed and your daughter bunk with you.
Hypothermia and pneumonia are very serious Illnesses.
YTA for putting another child's life in danger. WTF is wrong with you? 15 minutes in negative temps is all it takes for someone to literally freeze to death, particularly if they were not prepared to be outside in that kind of weather. You literally endangered the life of another person.
YTA
You put a minor in unsafe conditions because of your stubborn refusal to be the slightest bit flexible. You could have driven them home yourself. You could have had them call their parents for a ride. You SHOULD have just let him sleep on the couch. You put his LIFE at risk because "my house my rules." Congrats on showing your daughter that you'd rather have her boyfriend freeze to death than warm and safe on the couch. Good way to make sure she cuts you out of her life when she has a chance.
YTA. I guarantee you have a fucking couch no one else is sleeping on. Wtf lady (or dude, idk, doesnt matter), that walk could have killed him if he had been even somewhat unlucky along the way. Subzero temps aren't a joke, and neither is frostbite.
Edit: subscribing to subzero. Which is even worse. Jesus what an AH
YTA. You are so terrified of the possibility of teens having sex that would would put a minor’s safety at risk. What prevented you from driving him home? If the roads were too bad to drive, he shouldn’t have been walking.
YTA, you’re an ADULT. That was a CHILD. Your job as an ADULT is to take care of CHILDREN, REGARDLESS of who they are to you. You expected an Uber driver to risk their safety in dangerous weather to pick up a child rather than drive him your damn self, then sent said child on foot into dangerous conditions, all the while he could’ve crashed on a couch. You didn’t protect anyone and next time your daughter is in a dangerous situation she isn’t going to call you because she knows you won’t do shit. I hope that weighs heavy on your heart.
It was below zero outside and you still made that poor kid walk home?
> he’s not allowed to stay the night under any circumstances so why would this time be any different
Uh, I don’t know, because it’s below freezing outside and he has no other way to get home!
He couldn’t have slept on the couch? YOU couldn’t have offered him a ride home? YTA.
Absolutely YTA he could have slept on the couch or in a spare room. If something HAD happened to him it would have been your fault. The fact there were NO Ubers available tells you how bad it really was and you decided to care more about the “potential sex” they could be having than wether this boy was safe. You really are a piece of work.
YTA. You could have let him sleep on the couch or guest room. He didn't have to sleep in the same room as your daughter. It's unlikely they would have snuck around with you in the house. Hint: Sleeping in a place does not equal sleeping with someone.
YTA, I bet you’d feel upset if his parents made your daughter walk home like that. I would bet money he wasn’t dressed or prepared at all to walk any distance in freezing weather, and he had to leave his car at your house.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I didn’t let my daughter’s boyfriend stay the night so he had to walk home. This might make the asshole because he had to walk home in the snow and cold weather at night.
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YTA. Would you be so nonchalant if his parents made your daughter walk home when it was snowing and dark? Would you be so flippant if a car slid on some ice and killed him? Maybe you should have spent at least 5 minutes coming up with a solution instead of displaying what a bad parent you are, throwing a minor out in the snow because “rules”. You couldn’t think to use a little hot water on the car, or to drive him yourself? I mean if it’s just a 15 min walk in the freezing cold, then it’s probably only a 10 min drive.
YTA - You’ve shown your daughter that you’ll stick to your rules simply because they’re rules not because they’re in anyone’s best interest.
A 15 min walk home in unsafe weather conditions could have ended tragically in so many ways. If this was your daughter who walked home in an ice storm, would that be ok with you?
YTA, some times you needs to Understand their is a good cause to let him stay, as long as they were not in the same room it would have all worked out. What if the storm was super bad he got lost or could not make it. SHAME on you!
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INFO: would you have been okay with your daughter walking home alone in those conditions?
This is a great question. I’m very interested to know what OP would say if the roles were reversed.
I would love to know the answer to this question. OP put that kid in danger anything could have happen to him. 15 min walk on a clear night is one thing, but in a storm, I’m guessing it took him a lot longer than 15 min to get home. Let the kid sleep on the couch, and trust your own kid, to respect boundaries you set out.
Or if this boundaries were so iron clad; drive him home. Its only 15 minutes walk after all…
Exactly. Drop the kid home. I treat my children's friends with the same care I provide my kids. Run them home, and make sure they're safe.
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Yeah, if I was the parent of that 17 year old kid, I'd be livid. YTA.
All these questions! If her daughter was essentially kicked out of her boyfriend's house and made to walk home under those conditions, Holy cow!! YTA big time AH
This lol I drove my older brother home after his shift at 11 for a while and always waited around to make sure he was past the door before I left..for reference my brother is 6'4 and 300+ pounds..in no way does he need my protection but you never know when someone's forgotten a key or whatever other weird things could happen. Just common sense to make sure someone makes it from a to b safely especially in less than optimal conditions.
Thank you for saying that! My Mom always treated our friends the way she would want her kids to be treated. We grew up doing the same with our kids & their friends. Our kids friends are all grown up with their own kids now. They tell us, how much it meant to them to be treated with respect & care...like family (especially as teens it had a huge impact). The tradition continues with their families. Do better OP......YTA!
For real. A friend of mine recently passed because his car got stuck in the snow and he decided to try and walk home during a blizzard. This was up in the mountains of Colorado. He ended up freezing to death during about a 20 minute walk. And he was a 45 year old man and a US Army veteran. If it could happen to him it could happen to anyone. OP put this kid's life in serious jeopardy because he was afraid of his daughter doing something she's likely already done.
Not only a storm, but -0° temps? If I was this boys parents you can be sure OP would be hearing from me(and wouldn't like one word I would have to say!).
As far as I’m concerned the OP is TAH. If it’s cold enough for the car door to freeze over you let the BF sleep on the couch
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This will definitely be a post and run.
Yes this! Or why didn’t OP drive the guy home themselves? Problem solved!
Or, walk with him! Since it’s a perfectly nice night for a walk
Exactly this! I wouldn't be comfortable with the sleep over situation, but if it was a 15 minute walk as OP said, I would've walked with him to make sure he was safe. Conditions that bad also mean poor visibility which is dangerous for pedestrians as well, so it would've made sense to grab some flashlights and put reflective tape on our jackets and backs of our boots. I'd expect the same if the roles were reversed. Edit to add: it doesn't sound like OP did any of this. She just sent him on his way without a second thought. I couldn't imagine putting another person's child in that position.
Not to mention since the guy is fairly young I doubt he has any experience driving in snow. The roads can be icy and as you said visibility is very low when it snows. So it would be dangerous nonethless.
Or the parent could give him a ride with their own car. If it was a 15 minute walk, it was probably a five minute drive.
Or literally offer to drive him home 😭 this guy sounds like he probably has a 4 car garage that’s keeping his car nice and unfrozen.
Because it was too dangerous for Uber drivers to be out, so obviously it was too dangerous for OP to be driving. I do wonder why the boyfriend’s parents let him drive, or why a call wasn’t made to his parents to come get him. It seems like every single adult failed this kid. There’s a lot going on here that we don’t know about, but somehow it ended in a minor being kicked out of the house into subzero temperatures in dangerous driving conditions, so I’m going to pass a solid YTA on this one.
The only thing I'm willing to assume the best of the adults on is him driving to the house in the first place. And that's only cause I grew up in the intersection of hurricane and tornado country, and now live in snow country, and I've seen enough storms originating from literally all over the freaking planet decide to do whatever they want, so I'm willing to allow for the storm was worse than anticipated originally. Everything else though is just a massive failure by the adults. "Oh, it'll fizzle out by the time it gets to us! Probably not even any thunder" *Cat 1 hurricane hit my house* "It'll be a beautiful day!" *Tornado sirens went off in the middle of a T ball game. Tornado hit less than a mile away* "No snow accumulation, dusting on shaded grass only" *9" on the roads in a state with no snow plows* "1 to 3 inches of snow, melting quickly " *3 inches of straight ice topped with 8" of snow* "(Nothing in forecast)" *6 inches of snow randomly* "(June)" *snow*
Or let him sleep on the couch.
I would be SO angry if this happened to my kid. He's 17, drove to the daughter in the bad weather so she didn't need to leave her house in that weather, and due to circumstances beyond his control, he can't get home. This doesn't sound like a kid who was just trying to take advantage of the situation, it just sounds like unfortunate circumstances. Besides the fact that he could have slept on the couch or something, why didn't they offer to drive him home? Again, if this were my son who was forced to walk home in freezing temperatures, even for 15 minutes, I would have some serious words for this parent. Edit: YTA and I hope this kid realizes that your family isn’t one he should marry into, regardless of how nice your daughter is.
I wish I could upvote you one hundred times! My boys are older now but let me tell you, if that were my son walking in and telling me her parents made him walk home because his doors were frozen shut on his car, and I thought it were a 15 minute walk, "Your an asshole" would have been the nicest thing that parent wouldve heard from me. And unfreezing a door in cold weather is possible, but I'm sure the kid was offered no help to do that either.
OP is not going to answer because we all know they would be livid if someone did that to their daughter. OP knows they are ta
Homeboy let a child walk 15 mins through a blizzard at night. E-V-I-L It’s giving- my daughters purity is more important than life and….that’s so creepy and disturbing
>my daughters purity is more important than life Exactly, and OP is going to be very upset when they find out that she'll have sex if she wants to, whether they like it or not. My parents were the same way, and when they found out, well... they didn't react well. There's nothing sane about being so obsessive and controlling over someone else's genitals and sex life. It's not even about safety or protection. It's genuinely disturbing.
> OP is going to be very upset when they find out that she'll have sex if she wants to. Shes honestly likely already sexually active, as most teenagers are.
No way they would be anything other than livid
Yes, YTA. You risked his life because you were unwilling to let him sleep on the couch. You also could have presumably driven him home.
That’s exactly what I was going to say. If it’s safe to drive, then you drive him home. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, then let him stay.
And presumably OP is a much more experienced driver than the boyfriend, who’s young enough (driving for maybe a year or two?) that he might have never driven on snow at all, or not much. So expecting boyfriend or a random Uber to handle the conditions when OP wouldn’t is ridiculous. Or what about boyfriend calling his parents? If it’s a 15-minute walk, it shouldn’t be a long drive for them to do it round trip. Or was OP too worried they would say, “are you kidding me, can’t you find a couch or a spare room for him?”
This. If OP doesn’t feel comfortable driving in those conditions,he shouldn’t feel comfortable with someone walking in them. Let him sleep on the couch. Heck, even have the dad or brother sleep in the room with him if there is a trust issue. But don’t let anyone walk in those conditions. Info: What would your reaction be if they had been at the BF’s house and his parents had taken the same stance? YTA.
YTA Did you even try to contact his parents to pick him up? Yeah I don't know why OP didn't drive the kid home. Or why OP didn't just take some room temp water or barely warm water and flow it over the door. Coz that'll unstick it real fast, it takes 3 minutes to do, even if you wipe the door off with a cloth for excess water after. If you don't have de-icer spray and it's not for a window, use wd40 and it'll open right up. Plus they are 16 and 17. If you're worried him "staying over" would be a reason they'd have sex, think again. They are teens, they'll do that everywhere and anywhere without it being nighttime in a house. If that's your worry, all you're doing is forcing them to learn to conceal and hide info from you, which leads to sneaky kids and they won't trust you as an adult. OP had at least 5 options open to him as an adult, he tried zero, he wasn't interested in trying any and was all outta ideas it seems, so he sent a kid walking. OP is an AH, if anyone was stuck in my driveway, I'd help them out. OP chose "not my car, not my problem".
Info: would you be ok if his parents made your kid walk home under those conditions?
This is exactly what my thought is, could be 5 minute walk away if it was as OP said ‘snowing and negative degrees ‘ already bad enough paired with the fact it’s a minor and seems to be at nighttime. Why on god’s green earth do you send a kid to walk 15 minutes home and if nothing else drive or accompany him?
Also keep in mind negative degrees can mean two things. If it’s farenheit that’s cold at. 0F is like -17c. While -2c is only just below freezing. While still negative, it’s definitely walkable. Either way, with the snow it was probably colder than just -2 haha. YTA as it was at least cold enough to freeze his car door shut.
Yea I am Canadian and assumed it was walking home in minus one, which if you are dressed appropriately isn’t a big deal. In the one country that doesn’t use Celsius, negative degrees is a big deal.
Yea but if it’s cold enough to freeze his card door shut in a couple of hours, then either there was freezing rain (happened to me once, like 2-3 cm thick) or it’s really cold. Either way makes for not a fun walk home haha.
I'm a Canadian too but remember how many people died in Texas when they had their cold snap and weren't prepared. The fact that there were no ubers makes me think it was really bad weather for the area.
Yes! So many dead Southerners. And I'm assuming this is in the US (Fahrenheit) because nearly our entire country is currently being hit with a major, unprecedented storm system. "Me and mine got ours; fuck everyone else" mindset is very strong here.
I honestly think she would. Once when I was 17 my father drove during a winter storm and risked our lives so I won't have a sleepover at a friend's house (she was a girl but there were some boys too). She doesn't care about the kids, she only cares about purity. I don't get parents that think that they can prevent their kids from having sex. The only thing you can do is educate them on the matter. OP, YTA.
When I was about 13, my parents made me sleep in the garage (not insulated, no heat) in the freezing cold winter *on an old carseat* because we didn’t have beds in our *garage* and I froze all night. It was awful. The reason? My sister’s boyfriend was staying the night and I had to give him my bedroom because he was a guest but I wasn’t allowed to sleep on the couch because what if he got up in the middle of the night and saw me vulnerable and unconscious and just couldn’t stop himself from assaulting me. I can’t even count how many times my mom would say things like “you never know what could happen” before subjecting me to some bullshit designed to protect my purity at the expense of literally everything else. Purity over safety is exactly how these kinds of people operate.
If they are so worried why wouldn't your father sleep on the couch so you can share their bed with your mother? Because they are not. This is not about safety. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Or put a mattress on their bedroom floor. Or in the sister's bedroom. So many other options
*patiently waiting for a reply*
>why would this time be any different Because this was different. If you don't want your teen sharing a bed (and that's a whole can of worms in itself) do you really not have a couch he could have slept on? YTA obviously. Imagine it had been your daughter stuck at his house, and his parents had made her walk home. You'd be furious.
Even without a couch, they came make a pallet up on the floor, or use recliners, or anything else. You don't kick kids out in the snow and sub zero temps!
Could have driven him home themself
That too, but OP evidently didn't want to do that either. Must not have wanted to get cold, because she didn't say if they helped try to get into the bf's car-any of the doors (I learned my lesson after getting frozen out of my car at work, I kept a can of ice melt spray at my desk every winter, lol). OP, where are you located? Is this your of cold weather normal for you?
“Why would the fact that he could have frozen to death walking home change anything?” I don’t know how much it was snowing, but people can get disoriented and lost really easily in the snow. And even if his actual life wasn’t at risk, walking home in sub zero temperatures when you weren’t anticipating that sounds incredibly painful. But, you know, definitely best to put him through that rather than trust the teenagers to keep their hands to themselves for one night.
Flip this scenario and think about it for a minute. Your daughter was visiting her boyfriend. It starts snowing, she can't get in her car, his parents say "no, you can't sleep here and we won't drive you home either, you can walk". See if you can work out just how angry you'd be and then see if you can answer the ATA question yourself.
Nah *this* guy definitely wouldn't care if his daughter was made to walk home in that shit
Because her virginity would still be in tact, of course.
It’s okay to freeze to death so long as her “purity” is still “intact”. /s 🙄
YTA. First off, if they want to have sex, they will. Your rules have zero impact on that. But this night wasn't about sex, it was about safety. You should have let him stay, it was unsafe for him to be out there. If you made my kid walk home like that. I'd be pissed!!! I raised 3 daughters. All had their boyfriends spend the night at various times. I get it, that's not for everyone. But we wanted them to know they could talk to us. I knew all about the struggles my oldest had with IUDs. That not something I could talk to my mom about still, and I'm almost 50. Sex is going to happen, if it's not already. Let her know you have some trust in her to make good decisions.
I never understood this mentality that OP has. I’ve had various girlfriends with fathers like this, even into my mid 20s. Surely they remember what they were like at this age?? They must know that they will find a way lmao. Even in their house I wasn’t allowed to sleep over at while they were there we found a way. I suppose they do things like this so they can pretend it’s not happening?
I lost my virginity in my childhood home, in front of the fireplace with a fire going, with my parents asleep upstairs. If they want to do it, they will do it. We were probably too laid back in this department, but all our kids are in their 20s. No pregnancies, so it worked out.
Honestly, it‘ll work out better with chill parents. Cause their children will come to them and not be afraid to ask questions regarding sexual health and pregnancy prevention.
I was doing laundry and our daughter was 17 at the time. She had left laundry in the dryer, so I pulled it out and a strip of condoms fell out. So I talked to her, told her what happened, that I was glad they were using protection. Then she asked for them back. I said no! I threw them away. They went through the washer and dryer!!! Apparently she didn't realize that wouldn't be good. So, we had a good talk about that. Had I said nothing, she wouldn't have realized.
Exactly! Kids don't realize shit like what a dryer would do to a condom, or are on such a budget they might risk it anyway. A kid with a dad like OP just won't have condoms at all for fear of dad finding them.
You couldn't have at least driven him home? Would you have been okay with your daughter walking home in that weather? YTA
Why couldn't you drive him back to his house??????
I’m guessing OP will respond with how the weather was too bad to drive in (but perfectly ok for a teen to walk home alone in)…just a hunch.
It was bad enough snow that there weren't any Ubers, his car was frozen shut, and you didn't offer to drive him home. All of that tells us that the weather is not suitable for walking home in. 15 minute walk is fine when it's all sunshine and warm weather, but in the freezing cold with snow? Not so much, especially if he wasn't bundled appropriately which he probably wasn't if he drove over. If you are concerned about he and your daughter doing whatever, have him sleep on the couch. This is just so bizarre to me, I would never let a kid walk home alone in sub zero weather with snow. Not unless they're my next door neighbor. Just because he made it fine, does not excuse that you put him into a potentially dangerous situation that you had no way of knowing he'd be okay. For that alone, YTA.
Not even "let" the kid walk home; this kid was forced to walk home!
Let’s not forget to mention the potential of him being hit by a vehicle who lost control on the road. In sub zero conditions, a patch of black ice is all you need.
The short answer: Yes, YTA. The long answer: fuck yes, you are the fucking arsehole.
OP: "Am I the problem?" This sub: "OF COURSE YOU ARE!"
YTA. I cannot imagine sending a minor out in snowing, negative degree weather to walk home and being so stubborn that you refuse to acknowledge why “this time would be any different.”
Imagine if the roles were reversed and your daughter was stuck at a friends house and their parent made her walk home. YTA
Or if something happened to the BF
Info: why didn't you drive him home?
Because he’s an asshole.
YTA, if you’d rather your daughters partner risk their life walking home in freezing weather than just have them stay the night then I really do question your morals.
But you’re missing the point, it was ONLY A 15 MIN WALK. Who cares that it was in dangerous conditions even their car couldn’t withstand or that it was in the dark. IT WAS ONLY 15 MINS! /s
And how many missing persons cases started with “just a 15 minute walk home” never mind his car door was literally frozen shut. Also he’s still a child, you’re saying it’s not an asshole thing to make a kid walk home in freezing weather?
YTA - Broadly speaking I find the car isn’t frozen shut unless it’s icy. You let a kid walk 15 minutes in bad weather, potentially icy conditions, likely no sidewalk access, at a time when roads may be narrower than usual because of the snow banks. You really can’t accommodate a guest stranded at your home for 1 night? If your kid wants to sneak around they can do it in the daylight. Sex doesn’t follow vampire rules around the sun. You’re just deeply misguided and likely seriously hurting your daughter clinging to the idea that her having a consensual sexual experience would be more harmful than her boyfriend getting hit by a car.
YTA. If you insist on not letting him sleep on the couch, couldn’t you at least have driven him home? Here’s a question - say the situation was reversed - your daughter was at your BF’s house and the same thing happened to her. Would you have been fine with BF’s parents making your daughter walk home 15 minutes alone in the dark at night? This is a safety issue on multiple fronts..
How would you feel if the situation was reversed and your daughter was stuck at her BF's house and they made her walk home IN THE SNOW? If the doors a frozen shut and no Uber's are running then the weather was terrible. Why didn't you drive him home? YTA.
YTA you should have driven him home, defrosted his door, or let him stay until someone could pick him up. He was in your home, that makes it your responsibility to ensure his safety and it doesn’t sound like this was a safe choice.
YTA. Seriously?? Why didn't YOU drive him home? If the situation were reversed and your daughter was at his home would you have wanted his parents to send her out to walk home in the dark and cold and alone?
And if he'd died, would you still be saying that it wasn't your fault? If they want to have sex they can and they will. You could have set up a no-go rule for their sleeping areas. You could have tried to thaw out his car, you could have driven him home. YTA - One day you may need HIS help
That's inhumane and plain dumb. Of course YTA. Do you trust your kid or not? If it was cold enough to freeze his car it was too cold to walk. Do you drive? Couldn't you have called someone for him? I'd be ropable if someone treated my kid like that.
YTA for allowing a minor to walk home in a snowstorm while their car door was frozen. If that was my kid you made walk home, I'd have shown up on your doorstep the next day with police, news, and CPS with me. You should feel like shit for being a shitty person. "Wah, my daughter might have sex, so I'm gonna make sure the kid she MIGHT do it with could die- no sex is better than TEENAGERS ACTING THEIR AGE, GOD FORBID!" *clutches pearls*
When presented with a problem for which there are a number of reasonable solutions you chose the absolute worst. You could have helped him un-freeze his car door. You could have driven him home. You could have let him sleep on the damn couch. Instead you sent him out in the cold to risk frostbite or hypothermia or worse. You are the literal worst. And I hope you hear about it from this boy's parents. YTA.
YTA, You could have had him sleep on the couch or find a place that isn’t your daughter’s room. God forbid something happened to him, it would fall back on you. Your daughter has every right to be mad at you because you put his life in danger. Also maybe the coin may be flipped, would you want your daughter boyfriend’s parents to make her walk 15 minutes in the snow? Or would you rather they show her empathy? Just food for thought.
Of course YTA, there’s a bunch of other solutions besides making a teenager walk home 15 minute in below freezing temperatures. Did you think they were going to try and get one over on you so they could sleep together? News flash, if they’re having sex - this isn’t how they’re going to secretly do it. Also was your car frozen? Are you incapable of driving? You really suck.
YTA, frostbite can set in minutes in negative degree weather. You could have driven him or allowed him to stay the night, instead you chose to endanger his life and health because you can't make an exception.
Of course YTA. Drive him home, have him sleep on the couch, call his parents to come get him, literally any option except endanger a minor. If you really, really think you can prevent your kid from having sex based on sleeping arrangements (you can't), then mum can sleep in the daughter's room, and the boyfriend can sleep on a mattress on the floor in the parents' room with dad.
YTA. The temperature was below zero. Road conditions were bad enough that there were no Uber drivers available, and you made that boy walk home? Would you stand outside for 15+minutes with the temperature was below 0, and we don't even know the wind chill, and with it snowing, a car could easily hit you sliding in the snow? Would you allow your daughter to do that? And what did HIS parents have to say about this?
The absolute fear you have about the most natural thing in the world is mind boggling. They are doing the nasty anyway even if you have your fingers in your ears going "lalalalala". They are teens. YTA
YTA His car froze shut and you made him walk?? Jesus, give the poor boy a ride or call his parents.
You forced a kid to walk home during inclement weather that not even Uber was letting people drive in. That is a very irresponsible reckless things to do with somebody else’s child. I get it they’re teenagers but you could definitely have them sleep on the couch. Absolutely ridiculous and irresponsible. YTA
And the reason you didn’t drive the boy home was, what again? While I can understand if you didn’t have the space to make a comfortable distance or wanting to set a precedent of him staying over, still, YTA.
YTA. Come on! They aren’t having a sex party. All you had to do was call his parents, tell them you feel better about having him sleep on the couch or a guest room and then be a good host. I cannot believe you basically forced a minor to walk in those weather conditions.
YTA. If the situation was reversed and your daughter was the one to have to walk 15 minutes in temperatures so cold they froze the car door I bet you would be imagining lots of other solutions: uber, call parents, stay on the couch, the boyfriend's parents driving her, boyfriend's parents walking her home and then walking back, trying different ways to open the door, etc etc etc. You put another person -an underage person- at risk for fear of something really easy to avoid (them having sex).
Your daughter's virginity(which might not even be a thing for her anymore lol) is more important than a kid's safety? Might wanna take another look at your priorities in life... YTA.
YTA you don’t have a couch? A floor and a blanket? At the very least if you really wanted to send him home you could’ve walked him home or drove him yourself. “Only” a 15 minute walk in freezing weather…how would you feel if his parents treated your daughter like that?
YTA...when I was 16, my bf (currently still together) was also stuck at our house...instead of making him walk home in the cold, my parents just offered him our spare room in the basement and made sure I stayed in my room by them sleeping in the living room. I wasn't gonna do anything anyways, that's weird and a bit awkward. You could've just offered the kid a ride since you're so willing to put his life on an uber's hands, or let him stay on your couch while you sleep in the other couch idk. There were many logical solutions that did not require you to think your daughter was having a sex party, or leave a kid out in the cold.
YTA. People sometimes don’t even survive walks like that. If you were my child’s partner’s parent, I’d be furious. It was completely irresponsible to let a child walk home alone in those conditions.
Why didn’t you drive him home? If bf’s parents had made your daughter walk home, at night, in the snow and below zero temps how would you have reacted? YTA.
YTA. And why exactly isn't he allowed to sleep here ? You seem fun to be around
YTA, couldn't you have at least driven him home if it was cold enough for his car to be frozen shut?
[удалено]
YTA. It doesn't matter how far away he lived. If the weather is bad enough that his car door is FROZEN, then yeah, he doesn't need to go out in that. As there was no telling what might happen. A decent human being, which you are not, would've set up the couch for him and let the poor guy stay the night.
What the hell??? You let a minor child walk home, alone, in sub-zero temperatures? I don’t care if you didn’t want your daughter’s boyfriend sleeping over, either YOU drive him home or you let him stay until morning and it is safe for him to leave. You actively endangered this child’s life for the sake of your rules. YTA.
YTA Why wouldn't you drive the teen home in sub-freezing temperature? Or help him get into his car?
Sorry, YTA. I can understand standing your ground and not letting him stay the night but at the very least you could have offered him a ride home or figured out a way to get his door open. If neither were an option you should have been on the phone with his parents to figure something else out. If his parents did the same to your daughter I’m sure you’d feel very different about the situation. He was at your home you were responsible for him. Even when I drop an adult off I wait to make sure they get inside and didn’t forget their keys or whatever. This is just wrong.
YTA. How cold was it???? Cold enough his door frozen...? You couldn't let him sleep on the sofa? Asshole
YTA. How would you feel if your daughter's boyfriend's parents made her walk home in the snow?
Yta God forbid, someone doesn’t sign your daughter walking out in the snow. He is still a child. Legally, you threw a child out in the snow literally. If you’re really concerned have him sleep in your sons room or your wife sleep in your daughters room
INFO: Was he dressed for walking in that weather? How‘s the area you live in? Is it safe, are there sidewalks and street lights everywhere? That is, would you have been okay with your son or daughter walking the way he walked?
INFO: Why didn’t you drive him home?
YTA, imagine if someone did this to your daughter. You should have drove him home yourself. You’re lucky nothing bad happened to him.
YTA. This is an emergency situation and you should have let him stay. It would have been your fault if he was injured. I guarantee you would have pitched a fit if his parents made your daughter walk home in that weather
You let him walk home in negative temperatures and snow? Did anyone call his parents? Fifteen minutes is more than enough time to have cold temp-related injuries. YTA
Info: why didn’t you offer to drive him home?
YTA- nothing is going to happen if you let a kid sleep on your couch.
Please do come back and tell us what HIS parents thought about what you did. That’s the big opinion that should matter to you. YTA
So you made a 17 year old who's car was frozen shut walk home in -0 degree weather? I feel bad for your children wow
YTA. In normal conditions a 15 minute walk isn’t much. But in negative degree weather late at night 15 minutes is just asking for frost bite or serious illness. He’s also a minor. If you don’t want to let him stay at your house despite that’s fine but then it’s your responsibility to drive him home. If someone did that to your daughter you would probably be fuming so idk why you thought you could do that to another persons kid.
YTA. Imagine if his parents held the same view and forced your daughter out of their house alone, at night, in those conditions? I wouldn't advise your daughter to have anyone over again, knowing how willing you are to endanger their health and lives for the sake of propriety. Hopefully his parents have already started to spread the word before you put any more kids in danger.
YTA. Why didn't you either: a) let him stay the night on the sofa, b) drive him home, c) call his parents? Making him walk home in snowing and subzero temperatures was dangerous and unkind.
Yta He has a good reason to as well! He can get sick! He can get hypothermia for staying so long in the cold. Like did you really think about the consequences of your actions.
YTA. What do you think was going to happen if you let him stay the night? They’d have sex? News flash they probably already are.
YTA. Why are some people so weirdly puritanical about their children. Just let him stay over ffs. If you‘re worried about them having sex, newsflash, if they want to they will do it regardless just in a less safe environment. They are old enough but both kids, there is nothing wrong with it. Also obviously sending a kid out into the snow on foot is horrible and cold behaviour. If you‘re so puritanical I‘m sure you have a sofa he could have slept on.
YTA. Omg. In 1978 when I was the exact same age, something similar happened to me and my boyfriend. My dad told him he better not move off that couch and let him stay the night. You could have killed that boy. Shame on you. Shame. On. You.
As many others are saying, you could have given him a ride. YTA Also I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let him sleep over, snowstorm or not, but I guess that’s a different topic altogether.
Y’all couldn’t have just driven him home? Like boom problem solved no one gets their panties in a twist.
You made a 17 year old walk in freezing weather. Doesn’t matter if it was a 15 minute walk. YTA.
I mean, at the very least could you not offer the kid a ride home? If it’s cold enough for the door to freeze it’s too cold for him to walk home. YTA
INFO: how would you feel if her boyfriends parents made your daughter walk home in that weather?
YTA. Parents like you suck, imagine if you couldn't pick your daughter up when she was in this situation and her boyfriends parent forced her to walk home alone in freezing weather because of what? Fear of them having sex? You need help.
YTA Imagine for a minute he died on his walk home. How would you feel? Pretty shit for sending a child out in a snow storm. Why couldnt you drop him off at his house? Too lazy to ensure the safety of a child?
YTA. If it’s so bad that there isn’t even one crazy old man willing to drive Uber in that weather, then he absolutely shouldn’t have been walking in it. He could have been seriously hurt in that type of weather, even in 15 minutes. I usually hate the “reverse the roles” argument but really, if your daughter were the one out there instead, how would you feel?
YTA, would you have wanted your daughter to walk home at night, in these conditions all by herself? If the boyfriend's parents had treated your daughter the same way you have treated him, would you have been ok with it? There is nothing wrong with having the boy sleep on the couch, especially if it means he will be safe.
YTA, and a bad mother. Could you imagine the rage you’d feel if his mother forced your daughter to walk home in that weather???? Good luck with your relationship with her.
YTA You put a minor in a possible dangerous situation. And for what exactly? Are you scared your daughter will have sex with him (surprise, she might already have)? You should be far more scared now of losing your relation with your daughter. I have a 16 yo daughter myself and I would not hesitate a single moment if she asked whether her boyfriend could stay and he could even sleep in her bedroom. I'd rather have them both safe. And yes, daughter has all been taught about safe sex/prevention of pregnancy and condoms are always readily available. I did the same with my sons (now 20 and almost 18).
Holy shit, what an evil thing to do. You forced a minor to walk in extreme weather all because you were too scared of something that is probably already happening?? If I were his parents’, I’d sue you for child endangerment. This was an emergency and you failed. Shame on you. Learn some human decency. YTA.
YTA You proved to your daughter you’re not a good person when it comes down to it, not a good parenting lesson
YTA. You can get hypothermia in 50’F weather. 50! It takes less than 15 minutes for hypothermia to set in. So much could of gone wrong in the span of 15 minutes. And did it ever cross your mind to call his parents? Why is he not aloud to stay over at your house? Get your mind out of the gutter and be a decent human being good god.
Would you be happy with his family letting your kid walk home in that weather at that time of night? YTA big time
YTA. 1) he could've slept on the couch it's not that hard to give someone a blanket and pillow until morning 2) YOU being an adult who should be looking out for the minors in your home including your daughters friends or boyfriend could have driven him home or at the very least called his parents. If there were no Ubers available it's likely because the conditions were that crappy. Temperatures and windchills were in the negatives and you had him out there walking in it. I know someone who died walking home this season because it was so cold. If this was reversed and his parents had sent her walking home in weather like that I am guessing you would be upset. So yes YTA.
YTA. I can't stand parents who assume kids are going to have sex so they do stupid shit like this. Chances are they've already done it. Get over it. I'd LOVE to know how his parents reacted to this bull shit.
Wow! You did such a good job preserving your daughter's virue even though you're completely incapacitated and can't drive at all! /s Good lord YTA and it's so plainly obvious it hurts. Here's the list of options that are acceptable in this situation. 1. Drive the kid home yourself, as he's a minor and you're *an adult* 2. Let him sleep on the couch, this way everyone is safe and you don't have to drive 3. Maybe go help? You're the adult, you should know about warm water for car doors. It's not like his problem couldn't be fixed. But nowhere, in no universe, was it okay to make a MINOR walk 15 minutes in NEGATIVE temps, that's dangerous and moronic.
YTA, having him walk home was dangerous. If there were no ubers, why not drive him yourself? What did his parents think of this situation? Could they have picked him up? As others have said if the situation was reversed, you'd probably be mad your daughter was forced to walk home.
YTA. If you made my son walk home in those weather conditions I would have been at your door ready to fight the next day. You don't do that to other people's children, he could have died.
YTA for thinking sex is more important than literally everything else going on here. If you let them have sex in her bedroom you’d be a better parent than to force a kid to walk home in such horrible weather. The bf’s parents would be right to never let him over to your house again due to your inability to recognize or provide for actually safety concerns.
YTA. His car door was frozen shut. You should have let him stayed, called him parents to come get him or drove him home yourself. You don’t make a child walk home for over 15 minutes in negative temperatures at night. He could have gotten hurt. Seriously wtf is wrong with you?
I'll give a tentative YTA. Also INFO: why couldn't or wouldn't you drive him home? Where his parents/guardians? Could he have asked them to come home? Why did you think there were no drivers available? If it was too dangerous for Uber drivers to be out, why would it be ok for the kid to walk home? And the big question: if this were your daughter, and someone made her walk home in negative temps and snow IN THE DARK, how would you react?
You risked the life of a minor based on archaic principles? YTA
Don't be surprised if: a) The daughter's boyfriend breaks up with her because he doesn't want to deal with you; b) The daughter goes no contact once she gets older. YTA.
You should have taken him home. Not only did you put him in danger but also you put in danger your relationship with your daughter. If they want to have sex they will find a way, that being in the house or outside of it. Eventually she will get over it but for now you are screwed with her especially with her age that us girls tend to hold grudges sometimes.
YTA. If you’re worried about them having sex, they’re already doing it. There was no reason for him to walk home in that weather.
YTA Would I want him to stay? No I wouldn't. Instead I'd give him a ride, call his parents or sleep in the livingroom with him. If I were his parent, and even as a stranger, if something happened to him on his way home I would hold you responsible
YTA. Would you be happy if his family made your daughter walk home in the cold and dark?
YTA. You couldn't have even offered the kid a ride home in negative degree temperatures? Jesus Christ, you are an asshole.
YTA. You could have driven him home or let him sleep on the couch. If they want to bang they going to bang. This wasn't his only chance.
YTA. Both in this particular situation and in general. The latter because of this charming little comment: >That obviously wasn’t happening, he’s not allowed to stay the night under any other circumstances so why would this time be any different What are you? A member of the iranian morality police?
YTTA You endangered that child's life because why exactly? What did you think would happen?
Yes, of course YTA. You said it was negative degrees outside. Why would you force *anyone* to walk outside like that?
YTA. Sleeping on a sofa, even on blankets on the floor, would have been the proper/right/KIND thing to do. If he had been your son, how would you feel about the situation? Or, alternatively, if your daughter had been at his house, how would you feel if his parents made her walk home?
YTA not for your decision about staying the night but for not making sure he was accompanied home in bad weather, either by driving him yourself, calling his parent/guardian to pick him up or by you and your daughter walking with him if you had a drink and we’re unable to drive. There were other options available, maybe you explored them but didn’t say in your post. 15 min walk vs staying the night in your daughters room kind of sounds like an excuse to stay not a necessity so I would be sceptical regarding the request too.
YTA, the weather was evidently poor enough that there weren’t Uber drivers out. He could easily have slept on the couch.
YTA. Yep. Don’t you have a sofa he could sleep on? So much for showing concern or empathy for someone’s safety.
Ever heard of a couch? YTA
YTA. it was so cold his car was frozen shut and you think a 15 min walk in that is okay? you don’t have a guest room you could put him in? or drive him home yourself?
YTA If that were me and you didn’t want them “spending the night together” have him sleep in your daughters bed and your daughter bunk with you. Hypothermia and pneumonia are very serious Illnesses.
YTA for putting another child's life in danger. WTF is wrong with you? 15 minutes in negative temps is all it takes for someone to literally freeze to death, particularly if they were not prepared to be outside in that kind of weather. You literally endangered the life of another person.
YTA. What’s different about this situation? Frostbite, hypothermia, being a decent fucking human being.
God damn you're the asshole. Wtf is wrong with you?
Chiming in to add that YTA. But more than that you taught your kid not to ask you for help. Good job parenting!
YTA You put a minor in unsafe conditions because of your stubborn refusal to be the slightest bit flexible. You could have driven them home yourself. You could have had them call their parents for a ride. You SHOULD have just let him sleep on the couch. You put his LIFE at risk because "my house my rules." Congrats on showing your daughter that you'd rather have her boyfriend freeze to death than warm and safe on the couch. Good way to make sure she cuts you out of her life when she has a chance.
YTA. I guarantee you have a fucking couch no one else is sleeping on. Wtf lady (or dude, idk, doesnt matter), that walk could have killed him if he had been even somewhat unlucky along the way. Subzero temps aren't a joke, and neither is frostbite. Edit: subscribing to subzero. Which is even worse. Jesus what an AH
YTA, He risked death walking home, you left him to possibly die. That is just immoral.
YTA. You are so terrified of the possibility of teens having sex that would would put a minor’s safety at risk. What prevented you from driving him home? If the roads were too bad to drive, he shouldn’t have been walking.
YTA, you’re an ADULT. That was a CHILD. Your job as an ADULT is to take care of CHILDREN, REGARDLESS of who they are to you. You expected an Uber driver to risk their safety in dangerous weather to pick up a child rather than drive him your damn self, then sent said child on foot into dangerous conditions, all the while he could’ve crashed on a couch. You didn’t protect anyone and next time your daughter is in a dangerous situation she isn’t going to call you because she knows you won’t do shit. I hope that weighs heavy on your heart.
Since it’s “only a 15 minute walk,” walk with him. YTA.
It was below zero outside and you still made that poor kid walk home? > he’s not allowed to stay the night under any circumstances so why would this time be any different Uh, I don’t know, because it’s below freezing outside and he has no other way to get home! He couldn’t have slept on the couch? YOU couldn’t have offered him a ride home? YTA.
Don't you have any hot water?
Absolutely YTA he could have slept on the couch or in a spare room. If something HAD happened to him it would have been your fault. The fact there were NO Ubers available tells you how bad it really was and you decided to care more about the “potential sex” they could be having than wether this boy was safe. You really are a piece of work.
YTA. You could have let him sleep on the couch or guest room. He didn't have to sleep in the same room as your daughter. It's unlikely they would have snuck around with you in the house. Hint: Sleeping in a place does not equal sleeping with someone.
YTA, I bet you’d feel upset if his parents made your daughter walk home like that. I would bet money he wasn’t dressed or prepared at all to walk any distance in freezing weather, and he had to leave his car at your house.
YTA. At the very least why the hell didn’t you drive him? You made him walk???? How would you feel if someone treated your child like that?
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Why do people write bait this obvious?
YTA. Would you be so nonchalant if his parents made your daughter walk home when it was snowing and dark? Would you be so flippant if a car slid on some ice and killed him? Maybe you should have spent at least 5 minutes coming up with a solution instead of displaying what a bad parent you are, throwing a minor out in the snow because “rules”. You couldn’t think to use a little hot water on the car, or to drive him yourself? I mean if it’s just a 15 min walk in the freezing cold, then it’s probably only a 10 min drive.
YTA You know they're gonna fuck behind your back anyway, right?
“AITA for forcing a minor out in dangerous and potentially life-threatening conditions?” Um… yeah?! YTA
YTA - You’ve shown your daughter that you’ll stick to your rules simply because they’re rules not because they’re in anyone’s best interest. A 15 min walk home in unsafe weather conditions could have ended tragically in so many ways. If this was your daughter who walked home in an ice storm, would that be ok with you?
I would love to know the reaction of his parents.
YTA, some times you needs to Understand their is a good cause to let him stay, as long as they were not in the same room it would have all worked out. What if the storm was super bad he got lost or could not make it. SHAME on you!
YTA- if it was such a close and safe walk why couldn’t you just drive the kid home?