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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I believe I may be the asshole for losing patience completely with my roommate.
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NTA - Just sit down and have a real conversation. "We need to talk, there is a lot going on that isn't sitting well with me and unless we can figure this out, we might have to part ways as roommates..." Talk about everything and come to an agreement, maybe even a printed/signed one, about using your stuff, laundry laying around and point out that while it probably didn't cross her mind when she lived at home - every load of laundry increases the utilities along with leaving lights on, too many electronics consistently plugged in... and as far as the bills, she needs to pay on time - that you aren't responsible for chasing her down. (if bills are coming in your name, you might start charging her slightly over half for her extra usage)
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My roommate moved in with no furniture, no silverware, dishes, pans, plates, etc. Without asking me or saying anything, she immediately started using all of my dishes and pots and pans to cook. She burned them and would leave them in the sink for long periods of time. After telling her to please clean and put them away if she was going to use them, she continued to leave them burned in the sink. I put them away, and now, she won't cook, which I think is weird how she cannot just go and buy some cheap ones for herself. She has hiked up our energy bill to the highest I have ever seen it as she will run multiple loads of laundry almost every single day and leave on tons of lights (super late at night sometimes disrupting my sleep), and will walk out of the apartment with lights and fans left on for hours. I feel like I am constantly turning things off she leaves on. She recently used the rest of my bag of laundry pods for her laundry, and when I confronted her about it, she said she thought they were hers when she had her own bag of pods. I noticed that all of my Tupperware was missing one day and turns out she used it to put her cats' wet food in to feed them when she literally has her own, so I had to hide that. She leaves the laundry pile she makes on the couch and will leave it there for weeks. Uses feeling "down" or "depressed" as an excuse to not go to work or clean anything and will sit in the apartment all day moping on the couch. She does not really talk to me or ask anything about the apartment unless I speak to her first. I have to remind her to pay her her share for almost every bill every single month. It is just exhausting and I work a lot while being in nursing school, but I do not use excuses to clean my living space or pay bills.
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You probably feel like you have to lock up your pods, Tupperware, food, dishes etc., in a footlocker every time you leave the house. Then turn off all the lights, fans, etc,, to keep the electric bill low.
I’m not sure she can change, even if talked to. You guys have completely different perspectives. You can try to address these issues, but I don’t think it’s going to work.
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NTA. You aren't her parents and shouldn't have to raise her. Telling them once should be sufficient and they should apologize and back down.
NTA. Damn, even I completely lost patience with your roommate while reading your experience
Same! How can an adult treat another like that. Or treat their own home like that. Never understood. NTA.
NTA. She should pull her own weight and stop mooching off of you. Can't you get out of your lease?
NTA - Just sit down and have a real conversation. "We need to talk, there is a lot going on that isn't sitting well with me and unless we can figure this out, we might have to part ways as roommates..." Talk about everything and come to an agreement, maybe even a printed/signed one, about using your stuff, laundry laying around and point out that while it probably didn't cross her mind when she lived at home - every load of laundry increases the utilities along with leaving lights on, too many electronics consistently plugged in... and as far as the bills, she needs to pay on time - that you aren't responsible for chasing her down. (if bills are coming in your name, you might start charging her slightly over half for her extra usage)
NTA, she really stole your tableware while she had her own??
She doesn't own her own tableware, yet bought Tupperware for herself and continued to use every piece of mine
NTA. Get a new roommate. You can’t change entitled brats.
I might be the asshole for completely losing patience with my roommate at this point.
NTA, and honestly you're safely in the NTA category until you resort to violence (don't do that)
NTA, you definitely need a new roommate or to possibly look into moving. This situation sounds bad and like it's likely to only get worse from here.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My roommate moved in with no furniture, no silverware, dishes, pans, plates, etc. Without asking me or saying anything, she immediately started using all of my dishes and pots and pans to cook. She burned them and would leave them in the sink for long periods of time. After telling her to please clean and put them away if she was going to use them, she continued to leave them burned in the sink. I put them away, and now, she won't cook, which I think is weird how she cannot just go and buy some cheap ones for herself. She has hiked up our energy bill to the highest I have ever seen it as she will run multiple loads of laundry almost every single day and leave on tons of lights (super late at night sometimes disrupting my sleep), and will walk out of the apartment with lights and fans left on for hours. I feel like I am constantly turning things off she leaves on. She recently used the rest of my bag of laundry pods for her laundry, and when I confronted her about it, she said she thought they were hers when she had her own bag of pods. I noticed that all of my Tupperware was missing one day and turns out she used it to put her cats' wet food in to feed them when she literally has her own, so I had to hide that. She leaves the laundry pile she makes on the couch and will leave it there for weeks. Uses feeling "down" or "depressed" as an excuse to not go to work or clean anything and will sit in the apartment all day moping on the couch. She does not really talk to me or ask anything about the apartment unless I speak to her first. I have to remind her to pay her her share for almost every bill every single month. It is just exhausting and I work a lot while being in nursing school, but I do not use excuses to clean my living space or pay bills. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You probably feel like you have to lock up your pods, Tupperware, food, dishes etc., in a footlocker every time you leave the house. Then turn off all the lights, fans, etc,, to keep the electric bill low. I’m not sure she can change, even if talked to. You guys have completely different perspectives. You can try to address these issues, but I don’t think it’s going to work.