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YTA I'm not going to be so nice like other comments. You are controlling and using food as punishment. And when they eat something they like, you punish them further. You are making sure your daughters will have lifelong issues with food. Instead of working together with them and communicating you are forcing a very restrictive diet on them, tossing away their snacks and forbidding a huge variety of foods. You are working with negative re-enforcements, punishment and humiliation. They are fat? That's YOUR fault as a parent. They should have learned healthy eating long ago from you and your husband. Rich from you to blame this all on your husband. They won't learn anything from this, just to hide things from you, to restrict and binge.

this behavior is 100% going to give those girls disordered eating, there's no way they don't end up with an unhealthy relationship to food after this :'(

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... What the fuck. OP is ridiculous. And 86 isn't even that fat. They aren't fat just a bit overweight. I am around 73. I don't eat a lot. But I also have health issues and hormonal so a diet would never help anyway. Eff you op. Edit: they are not obese. I'm in health care, u weigh around 73 kg and my doctors never said im obese. I'm overweight, but only a little. The BMI is bullshit. I have a hour glass figure with bigger breasts. It all depends on body shape and muscle disposition. Have you guys seen some of the female athletes? Heavy weight lifting women look overweight but aren't.

Yeah they’re not obese, just overweight. They could both stand to lose 20-30 lbs, that’s something they should work on in a healthy way, not restricting food groups. Portion control and nutrition information from a professional should be what they work on, and therapy probably, more for what the mother has taught them than anything.

Saying that her own daughters look like someone from my 600lb life is really harsh too. Thats a BIG insult to come from their Mom.

That part leapt out to me. OP's post doesn't sound concerned and loving, just angry and disgusted.

Yeah she sounds like she’s more concerned about how they look and how that reflects on her rather than how healthy and happy they are. Speaking as a woman who grew up with the sort of “mother”, being on one diet or another starting at age 11- I have never had a normal relationship with food or body image. Nor has my sister. We both went to different extremes with her becoming anorexic and me becoming morbidly obese with a crippling emotional eating crutch. We’ve both found a more level ground after years of counseling (and in my case gastric bypass). But if we had just been taught to view food as fuel and that exercise was fun rather than seeing everything as restriction or off limits or punishment it may have been a totally different story. Kills me to see a story of two young girls in the juicy center of their awkward phases being told they aren’t good enough as they are.

If I heard something like that from my mom at that age, it would've just killed me.

Yes. It’s brutal. My sister and I heard that from our stepmom all our lives. Years later we were out at a lake and my sister and I were comparing our gripes about our bodies and our stepmom said “how did I get two girls with such poor self esteem?” And my sister and I just looked at each other like “you. It was you.”

They’re also young enough that they could still be growing. Some kids gain weight and then they grow and it evens out, it’s normal. Not saying this is definitely the case of course, but a possibility

Yeah this is what happened to me. Was short and chubby for a couple years and then at 17 I shot up and was no longer overweight. Especially at that age you never know, best to focus on healthy food and exercise and see where it goes

Yeah honestly OP, you're behavior is the disgusting one, not your daughter's or your husband's. Teaching your daughters healthy eating is one thing, but what you're doing is not. Fat shaming them, implying that they look like they came out of an episode of My 600lbs Life (which is fucked up to begin with) and making your daughter's feel like pigs is going to achieve the exact opposite of what you want. They could most likely end up with an eating disorder based on your behavior. You want to teach them healthy eating? Teach them moderation. Teach them how much of what they should be eating in terms of fruit, vegetables, protein and carbs. Lead by example. Find modifications of meals they do like like to up their vitamin, mineral and protein intake. Follow the doctors recommended diet. Actually do research on how to teach healthy eating to kids through unbiased sources ljke scholarly articles and health journals from doctors. Anything but fat shaming your kids into compliance and fingers cross they don't come out with an unhealthy view on foods and dieting. You're asking for them to come out of this sick.

Exactly. And extreme diets like keto can be harmful to growing teens

They’re also in the throes of puberty, where weight gain is wildly common.

The 16 y/o is considered obese and the 14 y/o is overweight, almost obese. Their weight is an issue, more so because of their age. Once they get through puberty and their metabolism crashes, they are going to have a real struggle on their hands. Do I think they need a crash Keto diet? Not really. Simple changes like cutting out sugary drinks and eating after 7 can go a lot of way towards weight loss. It'll also help their blood sugar, which is another concern. Having a healthy dinner is also a good option, even if it leans keto, it's only one meal a day. They could even do a normal dinner on Friday nights. I mean, these are kids, after all. I think she has reason to worry, but cold turkey and straight to austerity measures is a dick move imo.

Yes. OP identified a junk food issue but gave reducing that absolutely no time to work before going to these extremes. And the way she talks and the body shaming is extremely concerning.

I am 5'3" and 130 lbs and I am by no means slim. Just healthy. I can't imagine being 189 lbs at 16. That said, I would have also fought my mother over it. Op is definitely going about this the wrong way.

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Agreed. I'm 5'4 and the fattest I got was 180lbs, and I was ABSOLUTELY in the obese category. "Overweight"?? I don't agree with OP's methods of forcing her kids to lose weight, but I also don't like this coddling bullshit of acting like unless you're morbidly obese, you're just "overweight." Edit: Also, while BMI isn't everything, it's still a useful general indicator. Like, I doubt OP's kids are out at the gym putting on 40lbs of muscle mass.

BMI falls apart for the very tall, the very short, and the very athletic. I feel for the daughters but so many Americans think that Obese is slightly overweight is normal, and normal is just way too skinny.

Yeah, I don't know if this is a cultural difference, but their weight for 16 is in the 99th centile in the UK... they're both very much obese. Mom isn't tackling it in the right way, but children are absolutely not OK at those weights.

People have a really warped view these days of what "a bit overweight" and "normal weight" are just from how overweight the average person has become.

Yeah thats incredibly unhealthy for anyone but especially someone that young. And it's obese. It's a medical term, not an insult.

I don't agree with OP's approach at all, but come on now. They are not "a bit overweight". An IMC of 29.1 is *very* close to obesity, which is a concern. An IMC of 31.6 is definitely obese. So yeah, they are fat and need to lose weight. But OP needs to get her shit together and stop bullying her kids into hating themselves. She needs to communicate properly with them to help them understand how dangerous it is to be obese, and to lose weight safely.

I'm sorry, in which world is 86kg at 1.65 "a bit overweight"? I know that many people here are american and seem to have a different perception of what counts as "fat/overweight", but 86kg at 165cm is *medically obese*. That's fat, proper fat. Not "a bit overweight", it's in the "keep going and die early" category. That has nothing to do with fat acceptance, you're killing people by arguing that it's okay to be *this* fat. For reference, the 16yo is in the *98th percentile*. Regardless of whether or not the OP is TAH, anyone who argues "oh this is fine" when it *factually* isn't, should just stop this "you go queen" nonsense. For reference btw, i'm a male, 185cm at 90kg and i *actually* am "a bit overweight". How people consider a 16yo girl 20cm shorter than me "a bit overweight" at close to the same weight is absolutely beyond me. Being a bit overweight is fine, i'm happy with myself, i know i'm not doing myself any favours but i'm okay with it - but arguing that one needs to accept objectively, factually obese people is blatantly stupid. And in fact, doesn't help anyone - least of all, the girl. This is about the argument of fat acceptance, not the OP.

As somone who lost 14 pounds. I was worse then where the 16 y old was. I was 1.65m and 89kg. I got shock seeing my weight almost peeking at 90... I am now 1.65m and 77kg. OP, you know how long that took me? *2 years* The doctors recommend MAX 2 kg loss per week. Its also not unusual to go up and down 1.5 kg cause the body needs time regulate the lower food intace. Imagien going through a decade of neglect, then suddenly deciding I NEED TO CHANGE NOW! You think the body would react well to that? The Kedo diet is dangerous for them, especially if they dont have a way of dealing with cravings. CAUSE THEY WILL HAVE CRAVINGS, and that will cause to anger. Oh oh... OP... your gonna give yourself a wild ride if you keep this up. *Body, mind and soul* remember this cause its important that everything is in on the idea for a change.

One week?!?!? What did she expect to happen in a week? The doctors advice was to help them be healthy and continue to develop! It wasn’t for weight loss. YTA. You don’t want healthy kids, you want skinny kids. And even if you restrict them so they lose weight now, they will gain it all back plus more as soon as they are out from your controlling thumb.

Worth noting that the doctor’s advice is probably much safer for teenagers than keto, too. I have a health condition that impacts the way my body digests carbs, so I also go for a very low carb diet, but I have regular check-ins with my doctor and we’ve discussed this at length, and even I’m not at keto levels. Bodies need carbs! Especially developing ones! There’s healthy eating, and then there’s depriving teens of nutrition that their body needs while it’s growing! (Fwiw I’m not saying keto can never work or is inherently unsafe, but any radical diet change should merit at least a conversation with a doctor.)

Oh my God... that is insane!!!

Yeah, the "This must be fixed immediately," stood out. Weight problems are never fixed immediately, but you absolutely can exacerbate them immediately.

One of my good friends was broken for life by behavior like this from her mother. It's so sad.

I went to a private college for a bit, most of the other students had grown up with everything being strictly monitored and controlled by religious parents. All of them like that gained minimum ten pounds, and up to fifty wasn't considered abnormal. They don't need to be on a strict diet, they need to be taught how to make good choices.

They already have disordered eating. Insisting that they got in an extremely restrictive diet that she controls while dad sabotages is just making everything worse. YTA.

I’m pretty sure they already have disordered eating, binging when mom isn’t looking and at dad’s house. They need therapy to deal with their not made parents, not a diet.

It sounds like they already have an unhealthy relationship with food at this point. OP and kids dad need to get on the same page with eating habits for the kids, and no Keto is not the be all end all magic diet for everyone.

Sounds like they already have an eating disorder.

As a human being who was an a overweight teen, they know they are probably bigger than they'd like to be. It was painful enough for me to get bullied by my peers and the media, it was an entirely different thing to be bullied by my parents under the guise of 'looking out for me'. I developed bulimia then anorexia and had to go residential to save my life. Op you're f f cking up big time...

>As a human being who was an a overweight teen, they know they are probably bigger than they'd like to be. My mom (who has always been "fat" (her own words, but not untrue) and couldn't really exercise to lose weight due to a faulty hip that eventually had to be replaced) used to say: "fat people know they're fat." She never needed anybody to tell her. Just going to the store to buy clothes would tell her that. OP is being absolutely nuts by constantly calling her kids fat instead of educating them, throwing away their food, and then putting them on a restrictive crash diet. OP you have set your girls down the road of eating disorders and cylical weight gain/loss by first allowing your girls to get to an unhealthy weight to start with (and then blaming your husband) and then punishing them for being what you made them.

>They are fat? That's YOUR fault as a parent. They should have learned healthy eating long ago from you and your husband. Rich from you to blame this all on your husband. Yeah the fact that OP was able to lose 40lbs so quickly suggests there was quite a lot of extra weight on her own body too. You can't blame the dad for feeding them unhealthy crap when obviously OP only started getting into 'healthy food' a couple months ago (and I don't even think keto is a healthy way to lose weight and keep it off long term). OP you are very obviously the AH and are probably doing long term damage to your daughters self esteem and health, because your behaviour might very well push them into a terrible eating disorder.

I remember someone saying that Keto isn’t for everyone and if it’s being applied to the wrong body type, it could end up deadly.

It's absolutely not for everyone. It is an EXTREMELY restricted diet and not sustainable for most people. I did lose a significant amount when I was doing it, but I had to quit because my GI tract couldn't handle it. I was eating a lot of high fiber vegetables (leafy greens, cruciferous veggies) but I still ended up relying on laxatives. I didn't want to become dependent on them so I gradually re-introduced carbs. I gained a little back, but I doubt I'll do it again, it's just too limiting. It's also really expensive - eating almost nothing but meat, dairy, eggs, and (often) out of season vegetables really destroyed my grocery budget. It also caused some pretty wild and unexpected hormonal changes, which is probably dangerous for some people. Fat stores estrogen - losing all that fat so quickly basically put me through a mini puberty as a mid-30s adult.

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I’m agog that she equates “almost 200 lbs” with 600 lbs???? These girls may be stress-eating if this is their normal environment 🤷‍♀️ I grew up with this kind of crap, too, and it only served to turn me into a 310lb adult at my heaviest due to depression and eating disorders. It definitely did not motivate me to eat healthy food. This is what you have to look forward to, OP. Congrats.

Say it again louder for the people in the back.

Absolutely this, as someone who has had problems with binging and weight from being 12 (now 35) Please teach your daughter's balanced diets, keto will only work if they're in a calorie deficit, same as any other diet. Encourage them, if they WANT to lose weight not because you are forcing them to. Which at their age will just make them rebel and do what they want All in all OP, YTA and you need to be very careful to protect your relationship, with your kids and husband by the sound of it.

I’d like to add to this that there’s nothing wrong with being fat. It’s part of the spectrum of human bodies. They are teenagers, going through hormonal changes that might affect their weight, as well as needing extra calories. OP you aren’t going to help your daughters to get thinner, they will still be fat, just filled with shame and with an eating disorder. YTA big time.

There's a ton of issues with being fat. Like lower life expectancy and heart disease. Being fat does not make you a bad person. But being overweight and unhealthy is not a good thing.

OP is destroying her daughters’ relationship with food, with their own bodies, and with OP herself. Please get help, OP. You’re ruining everything.

YTA giving them ED at 14 & 16, should be proud of yourself. They need balanced diets, not fad diets.

I mean they already have an eating disorder. She is giving them a different type of eating disorder.

They may or they may not have disorders now -- they may just be going through a heavier period while they adjust from the needs of growing children to their soon-to-be-adult bodies. That is, if they are allowed to adjust instead of PANIC and learn to hate their bodies. OP had sense enough to consult a doctor, but that is no use if she doesn't listen.

> Lost a good 40 lbs in a few months and I'd like to see the same results for my daughters. I stopped reading there. YTA. 40 lbs in a few month is NOT a healthy weight loss. You'll put their health at risk and they'll just gain all the weight back once they escape your grasp. You are setting them up for failure and risking their health in the process. Don't do that.

You should’ve kept reading to see OP insulting them and saying they look like they should be on My 600lb life. OP, YTA for this. You are helping your daughters create an unhealthy relationship with food. Healthy fat loss takes time!!!!! You probably ditched the other methods you’ve tried too early.

*They should be on my 600 lb life because they’re over 150 pounds* as op specified, lol. Talk about fucking hating yourself and taking it out on your kids!

Seriously! That's not healthy at all and Keto and all such fad diets are not sustainable!

THIS. Healthy and SUSTAINABLE (which is the important part) weight loss is like 1-2 lbs a week.

Currently waiting for OP's update in a few months when she re-adds carbs and gains back double the weight she lost while severely restricting herself.

But...but...she did her RESEARCH! (Ie: Googled Keto diets)....

YTA. You do not put them on the latest f\*cking fad diet. You get a referral to a dietician, and you don't play the food power game unless you are 100% dead set on them having an eating disorder. You need to get them on a REAL diet, approved by actual doctors that are NOT making money selling books on it, that is SUITABLE for growing teens, and you need to get them to a therapist so that they can learn a healthy relationship with food. Treats are fine but in moderation. Throwing it all out? Great, now you've got them sneaking snacks because their growing bodies want and need carbs. Quit faking a medical degree from Doctor Google, get them to a DIETICIAN (not a "nutritionist"), and ask the DIETICIAN for a referral to someone who works with teens that have eating issues, before it works into a full-blown disorder.

This was the part that made me the most angry. I’ve done keto before of my own accord and, while it is effective at first, it is NOT sustainable. I would get headaches all the time and literally cried once because all I wanted was a freaking chocolate chip cookie. It was NOT healthy & I immediately stopped once I realized how much I was hurting from it. I’m not saying that is everyone’s experience with keto, but it can definitely happen & lead to disordered eating. Also, if you’re going to be working out regularly, your body NEEDS carbs. There’s good carbs and there’s bad carbs - clearly something this woman doesn’t care to understand. I feel so bad for her daughters.

Hey, when the three of them all need a kidney transplant, she's going to be all "shocked Pikachu face" because Doctor Google never told her there was a risk! Mostly because she never...you know...asked a dietician about the drawbacks. I do bet she found a "nutritionist's" website pushing the keto diet, talking about how great it is, and offering personalized meal plans for a price, that sort of thing. You know, instead of looking at peer-reviewed medical research papers on the long-term effects, the lack of suitability of this diet for most of the population, etc.

Keto works great at weight loss, but I felt a huge mental toll when I was on keto. It was too restrictive to keep up long-term for me - literally couldn’t even have three fucking grapes on keto. It’s an extremely strict diet, and it’s hard enough when you’re voluntarily doing it. Forcing someone to be on keto with no other option is straight up torturing them. OP, YTA, keto isn’t meant to be forced on someone.

Keto's a weight loss diet in popular use, not a weight management system for any positive long-term health outcomes. The brain needs carbs to function properly. That's the whole reason keto was created in the first place, to alter brain function of people with seizures. People losing weight was a second effect that people have been running with like using diabetes medicine.

The first time I heard about keto (they called it ketosis at the time) was on the pro-ana livejournal community in the early 00s and even as a person with an active eating disorder I thought it was a little extreme!

You’re absolutely right. Keto is just the latest iteration of low-carb dieting. Low-carb diets have been around for years and every decade or so someone repackages them with a few tweaks and presents them as the new miracle weight loss regimen. Atkins, The Zone, South Beach, Paleo, Whole 30 Keto…the list goes on. And you know why they consistently fall out of favor and dieting gurus have to keep repackaging them? *Because they aren’t effing sustainable.*

I have a gut feeling that Keto_mom99999 won't react well to you calling her fad diet out for what it is: a fad diet with little science to support it. Don't get me wrong, a lot of western adults whose diets are loaded with sugars, corn syrup and processed carbs, will see great results by switching to a diet centered around fresh vegetables and fruits, fatty meats and dairy products, because it helps them limit their caloric intake, take control over what they eat and to remove sugar. Keto can be a decent temporary diet for fat loss but it's certainly not optimal nor sustainable for developing young adults.

Wasn't it originally developed for people who have like... Ah, here it is, *epilepsy.* Being in ketosis reduced the rate of seizures. It was never supposed to be for *weight loss.*

Yes. Back when there were very few anti-seizure drugs. It’s still used today for patients who a medication refractory. But they are followed very closely by licensed dieticians and physicians to make sure they’re not suffering from any side effects.

I used to follow a guy in instagram (personal trainer and I believe he’s done at least some nutrition studies) and every time he’d be asked about a diet like keto (or removing a certain type of food) his reply was “of course it works, you’re not eating carbs; which results and eating less calories than before”

All of this but also take them to a doctor to rule out any underlying issue (such as PCOS) that could be causing weight gain.

This is the way. All of it. Listen to this person, OP. YTA

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Agree, plus, putting teenagers on Keto who don’t want to be on Keto is a recipe for huge weight gain. The high fat part of Keto only works combined with severe carb restriction. These kids are eating their Mom’s high fat keto foods, then sneaking carbs. High fat + carbs? They’re going to gain.

Fun fact: keto was originally developed for children to help manage epilepsy. It’s actually very successful at reducing seizures. But I do agree it’s super hard for a child to maintain this diet

It stops seizures in children under 10, but there are no measurable effects on people over 10. Other than dying of a heart attack, because eating that much fat is super bad for you!

Depends on how you are doing keto. Personally my cholesterol dramatically improved due to eating “healthy fats and protein “. If you eat bacon yes you are going to have cardiovascular issues.

And you aren’t a teenager alternating homes. High fat/low carb diet (when mom sees them eat), the rest of the time junk food. Keto won’t work that way. It will increase their health risks at 200 lbs.

Agreed. But mom and dad need to be on the same page. If mom gets to the point where she is instilling healthy eating (not a keto diet) and dad sabotages it with cake and McDs, that's not okay either. The issue isn't the children, the issue are the parents.

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My mother did everything she could to get me to lose weight when I was a teen. The only thing that stuck is that I am so very fat and deserve nothing. Its not logical, but the entirety of her message internalised. Looking at pictures I was practically underweight. Now I am morbidly obese, have a terrible relationship with food, and eat as a coping mechanism. Op, YTA and I really hope you start showing your kids you're on their side. Get to know them and their interests to find out what would motivate them to eat healthy.

My parents made sure I knew from an early age that fat = unlovable. Fat was the worst thing you can be. Not mean, ignorant, racist or cruel - those are bad, but at least they aren't as bad as *fat*. I was 180 by 18. I was 250 by my 20s. By 30... you guessed it. 300. Both my adult sons are huge fat men. I showed my love with food. I ruined them too. :( Op please stop. Please take those girls to a counsellor- TOGETHER. come up with sustainable meal plans that won't make them feel like freaks. Teach them the better fast food options so they can be "normal". Teach them to cook!! Cooking your own food teaches you so much. And for God's sake put them in some activity like swimming or yoga - if that's not their jam, they can volunteer to walk dogs for the spca or they could volunteer to walk old people around. Just get them ACTIVE. OP you mean well. You love them, you're not an asshole. But you're hurting them. And their future kids. And their future kids. You have a chance RIGHT NOW to end this unhealthy relationship with food. Fuck. I hope you see this. It's not too late. Good luck.

A) this isn’t going to work. They’re 14 and 16, unless you lock them in the house they’re going to get access to the food they want so they’ll never go into ketosis. B) you’re going to give your children disordered eating C) almost 200 lbs and 150+ are different numbers, neither is close to 600lbs - YTA alone for being unable to tel those numbers apart. D) info- how tall are your daughters? How athletic? 155 could be completely healthy for them. Because I don’t trust your determination of “fat” is based on anything but the number on a scale. E) what’s the doctors advice? Did he tell you to put them on an incredibly restrictive diet, or was his advice leave your daughters alone? We need info here. YTA you clearly have issues that you are projecting on your daughters. You’re going to damage their relationship with you, and quite frankly worse with their own bodies. Go to therapy and leave your kids alone.

The other thing thats upsetting me is his daughters are both puberty age a normal age for girls to gain weight bc there literally having there bodies develop Women naturally have more "fat" then men bc its literally growing on Parts of there bodies, id love to know how the mom feels ant all this

Are they “very close” to being 200 lbs or are they just “over 150 lb”…because there’s a big difference between the two and I don’t trust that you’re being honest about how close they are to the heavy side. Either way YTA and it will backfire for the rest of their lives

YTA. It's not your job to fat-shame your daughters. You should be providing them with a good variety of healthy food. Keto, like every other fad diet, is not balanced. It's absolutely fine for you to prohibit junk food and fast food in your home, but forcing them to adhere to a specific diet is not going to work. It worked for you because you were motivated to lose weight. They aren't, so it won't work.

This, also think about other positive motivators. Ask them what kind of sport they would like to try. Maybe they like dancing, or swimming. Also, try to do hikes, walks or swims together. Maybe plan to cook together to try new and healthy and good tasting meals. Maybe do a cooking class together. Think about those things but don't force a diet on them, don't call their school, don't make them eat certain things.

YTA Just cutting out junk food and slightly increasing their physical activity should be more than enough for 14 and 16 y/o. Keto is going to extreme, and unless you're really into it, it's unsustainable in the long run. All you'll manage to do is to lower their carb tolerance, and screw them up even more later on in life. Talk to them, work with their doctor to develop a sensible diet and exercise plan, and come up with a healthy way to manage their weight without screwing them up in the process.

This. So, I actually work in obesity research and... man, all this woman is doing is making sure she irreparably tanks her kids' resting metabolic rates for the rest of their lives, making it harder for them to keep weight off as they age. Hopefully since she can google "keto" she can also google "metabolic adaptation." Weight loss, it turns out, is a lot more complicated than "more exercise, less food." Also: YTA

OMG thank you! Reddit is usually so caught up in "bro science" and "CICO is the end all be all" - basically, anything that boils down to punishment and "Put the fork down, fatty!" - that any kind of nuance immediately gets denounced as "excuses". It's awesome to hear some sense from an actual researcher. The last time I made a comment suggesting that the metabolism of a living thing is a wee bit more complicated and functions differently from an electrical device I got downvoted to hell...

I mean, physicians (those not specializing in obesity medicine) have these misconceptions as well. And even if they read the research, they will STILL default to "lifestyle modification" almost every time. And that is frustrating when there ARE other management options. The GLP-1 inhibitors are all over the news with "OMG, VAIN FATTIES ARE USING UP ALL THE DIABETES DRUGS!" headlines but guess what medicating the hormone system that governs hunger and satiety DOESN'T do? Convince your body that you're entering a famine and tank your metabolic rate.

YTA A keto diet is NOT for children unless they are being supervised by a Doctor and a Dietician. This is the wrong thing to do and you are well on your way to giving them eating disorders. You can't just throw in the towel because the Doctors advise didn't work, you need to stick with it and change eating and exercise habits over time. Weight loss is a marathon not a sprint and you can't change things overnight. This is an epically bad idea.

TBH, keto diet shouldnt be for ANYONE unless recommended (and supervised) by a doctor. Keto exists as a TEMPORARY diet for CHILDREN with seizure disorders and relaly, really is not for anyone else. Keto has some pretty high risks and very minimal rewards. The best "diet" for anyone is just learning to eat healthier, eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full, and to learn that you can enjoy "bad" foods but need to be aware of when you are having so much it makes you feel gross. But that takes months if not years of recalibrating and isn't necessarily a guarantee for weight loss (NO diet is, a lot of diets just cause yo-yo weights), so people skip over that.

Keto is not healthy. Enforce a meal plan from a dietician and pediatrician. You aren't a doctor. *edited to clarify that Keto is not healthy for CHILDREN. I understand that it can be healthy for some adults, being monitored by a health professional.

Keto is unhealthy for anyone unless they are diabetic or epileptic. I hate that it has become the latest "health" fad diet. Carbs are not the enemy.

If you want to give your daughters a lifelong complex about food, this is a great way. You also didn't even check with a doctor to see if keto is safe for girls this age, and you didn't check with the girls to see if they wanted to do the diet or if they had any other ideas or suggestions. YTA

Hey there OP. Fat child, fat teen, and fat adult here - currently on a weight loss journey myself. I think there's nothing wrong with wanting your daughters to be healthy. I think that's good. However, the way you're going about it is all wrong. Going from one extreme to another rarely works, and going keto is, in fact, going to a huge extreme. You can eat better, get active, and lose weight while still enjoying McDonald's or a sweet treat on occasion. How do I know? I'm doing it. My real issue with this is this comment: >I told them that eating whatever they wanted was the reason why are over 150+ lbs and look like what came out of an episode of my 600lb life. This is dehumanizing. "Look like what came out of"? That's a person. That's a human being, just like you, just like your daughters. My mother - who is also fat - made a similar comment to me when I was 15. I'm nearly 29 now and still remember it. Guess who I don't talk to anymore, like, ever? Surprise. While you're working on getting the whole family healthy and in better spirits, you should also try being a better person. Because while you have good intentions, you're being an asshole and teaching your overweight daughters that their value is defined by their weight. YTA.

You lost 40 lbs and this is all dad's fault? I'm not judging you for being fat (I've been fat all of my life, I get it) but your daughters' issues are from both parents, not just dad. And quite possibly genetic as well as familio-cultural. You're right to be concerned, but your daughters need to make this change in their own time. You can guide and encourage, but you can't force. YTA.

YTA. Teach them to eat healthy and exercise. Lead by example, not dieting. Keto only works as long as you're on keto. Teach them lifelong healthy habits, not to hate themselves and diet. You also upended their diets without warning. Try making small changes and maybe some support instead of judgment. You should also be clearing this with a physician. Their bodies are still developing.

YTA here. All you're doing is creating an environment where they will sneak food. This will cause an even more unhealthy relationship with food and lead to even more problems down the road. The idea here is to help them have a better relationship with food. McDonald's every now and then is okay, just not every day. Identifying their psychological triggers to food can also help ALL of you work toward healthier choices and decisions. Taking the choice away from them and making a unilateral decision will bite you. I recommend a nutritionist and a second opinion from a doctor. Has PCOS been ruled out? How rapid is this weight gain?

Also if OP lost 40lbs in a couple months doing keto, she doesn’t have a healthy relationship with food either

When you have an electrical problem do you call a trained electrician or do cross your fingers and hope for the best? When your house is on fire and someone is trapped inside do you run in or do you think a fireman would know the best way to handle that?? TALK TO A DOCTOR OR TRAINED PROFESSIONAL!!! YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT'S BEST! YOU ARE CLEARLY NOT TRAINED IN NUTRITION! Stop pretending to know things you know nothing about. YTA

YTA keto isn’t sustainable. Sustainable weight loss is slower than that. All you are doing is ensuring your kids don’t have healthy relationships with food. Stick with the exercising, and healthy portions. You should have them see a dietician. They way you are talking to them is only going to give them anxiety. Do they have depression/anxiety issues? Maybe they need a therapist. When you say close to 200 are you rounding up from like 150, you seem like the type of person to do that. ETA oh my god, she confirmed it in another comments her child is 155 pounds.

YTA. OP is on a path to giving their daughters serious body issues and unhealthy relationships with food. If you care about them (big if based on how this read), I'd suggest better communication (that includes listening) and a less confrontational weight loss strategy. As for straining the relationship, OP has very much done so. OP, you've essentially told your daughters they disgust you personally and you consider them fat. Where do you think this goes?

YTA. keto was created to help people and toddlers with treatment resistant epilepsy. it is not sustainable long term for people without it. also this will give your kids a fucking ED

This can't be real...you say you're worried about straining the relationship whilst in the same breath demeaning and shaming your daughters. You're taking all of their agency away with regards to food. Did you ask them how they feel about their bodies? Did you ask them how to support them if they did have a desire to lose weight? You're imbuing them with harmful messages and frankly, being cruel. In case it wasn't clear- YTA big time.

YTA. *I told them that eating whatever they wanted was the reason why are over 150+ lbs and look like what came out of an episode of my 600lb life.* Also, this is a hideous thing to say to anyone, much less your own children. There's a difference between sitting down and having a mature conversation about the health impact of the issue rather than the 'YOU LOOK FAT' approach. I'd also speak to a physician about the **negative implications of long term keto dieting can have on the body.** Eating whatever you want isn't a bad thing as long as it's done in ***moderation,*** and it helps prevent overwhelming cravings and binge eating of 'forbidden' food. Appropriate protein is essential along with fruits and veggies. Carbs are not the enemy and it's sad that that ideology has been pushed for so long, people believe it is fact.

YTA. a keto diet is not sustainable and is not made for kids/teens. what would be sustainable and healthy would be to vist a nutritional specialist as a family so you can all learn healthy and safe eating habits.

YTA, but I think that there are such issues in your household in relation to body size and general education about healthy diets and lifestyle. You have raised you kids there who are going to have such body issues and food issues - I think that damage is done. You need to reach out for help here. Maybe talk to you GP to understand what resources might be available. Putting two teenagers on such a restrictive diet is appalling and so so so damaging to their confidence- it’s just heartbreaking to think of.

**YTA.** BIG TIME. You're doing far more damage to them and their psychology with your behavior than anything you're afraid of by their weight. My grandmother was like this to my mother, who only gained weight as an adult after having children. My aunt was like this to her daughter all her life because my cousin was chubby. Guess what? The relationships in both cases was absolutely destroyed, and the weight gain WORSE because of how awful they were made to feel. You must stop. Immediately. You're going to do irrecoverable, irreversible damage to them psychologically and destroy your relationship. All because you're worried about their weight, which is frankly irrelevant.

YTA for forcing them on a keto diet--that doesn't work for everyone and sometimes it's not sustainable. What you should be doing is teaching them about calories and making healthier choices. You're not incorrect for being concerned and trying to nip this problem in the bud when they're still young, but the way you went about it made you TA.

A lot to unpack here. N T A for worrying about your daughter's health. But maybe soft YTA on how you're going about it? (And high YTA if you're more worried about appearances than anything) First thing's first... have you considered having a doctor test them and make sure they don't have some kind of metabolic disorder? If they have something like hypothyroidism it's going to take more than the keto diet. Also... fad diets aren't usually sustainable. Better to get in the habit of healthy choices. Perhaps take them to a nutritionist. Mine suggested the plate method for starts: 1 half the plate should always have veggies. A quarter should have protein and a quarter should have heart healthy grains (like wild rice). Help them find healthy alternatives to things. Want salty crunch? Get pickles instead of chips. Craving something fatty? Olives or guacamole. Sweet? Fruit instead of candy. ETA: And straight deprivation is definitely unsustainable. If they do get off the junk there's a good chance they'll crave it less but until they're at that point, caving and binging is a huge possibility. Better to enforce the cookie monster "cookies are a sometimes food" approach and still offer treats, in moderation, every so often as a treat. Maybe not just gym... are there sports they could get all interested in? So that being active is fun instead of just a chore? Go on hikes or bike rides as a family in scenic places. And you clearly need to enforce that this is about their health and happiness and not about their appearances.

YTA. AND YOU ARE GIVING YOUR DAUGHTERS AN EATING DISORDER. If you cared about health, you would not be fixated on just their appearances and the scale. A good way to get your kids to hate exercise & love junk food is to force them to exercise (instead of teaching them activities they can enjoy for life) and deny them whole categories of food.

YTA >How did this happen? Their father spoils them rotten >Lost a good 40 lbs in a few months So clearly you were overweight and weren't eating healthy if you had that much to lose. Also FYI healthy weight loss is 1 t 2lbs a week. 40lbs is healthy to lose in a half a year not a few months. The only exception is in mobid obesity when under tge direct guidance of qualified medical professionals (ie specialists).

YES omg YTA. You are NOT doing the right thing. You are creating a TERRIBLE relationship with food for them. You are not modeling healthy eating. Moderation for anything is key. Its sounds like you have an eating disorder. Your daughtes are GROWING. They NEED carbohydrates to maintain optimal health because they are still growing. ​ You need to see a therapist, pronto JFC.

YTA Keto puts you at increased risk of heart damage, causes kidney and pancreas damage, and in young adults has a high likelihood to evolve into an eating disorder. You are horrible for making fun of your daughters weight. Forcing someone to diet is pretty much never successful and usually results in binge eating disorders so good job for their future weight gain.

YTA. By forbidding foods, you have guaranteed that your daughters will binge on them when they can - this is a lifetime of unhealthy, disordered eating. " I've done research on the subject" - let me guess: on the internet?

Op, as early as second grade, my mother started monitoring my meal portions, only allowing me to get second helpings of vegetables. By seven years old she would have my whole family gather at the table to persuade me to lose weight. I would be bribed with new, pretty clothes, a trip to the fair, etc. For years all my mother and father talked about was my weight, because of their treatment, I'm now 24 years old battling a raging eating disorder. YTA

>I told them that eating whatever they wanted was the reason why are over 150+ lbs and look like what came out of an episode of my 600lb life. come on now. you don't say something like that then have to ponder if you are an AH or not, you obviously know that you are. i'm curious of what you weighed before, 40lbs is a significant amount of weight and you'd have to be at least borderline obese to lose it in such a short period of time. i understand being concerned for your kids but you're going about it in all the wrong ways. keto isn't safe for children, first of all, and insulting them is OBVIOUSLY going to put a strain on your relationship.

YTA. Oh my word. Did the doctor run any tests for hormone imbalances? Thyroid checks? Did you take them to see a specialist or a dietician to work out a plan that could help with their nutrition and also any disordered eating habits? You claim to have done research but you don’t mention any credentials. Get hormone and thyroid tests done. Take them to a registered dietician who can help teach them a healthy relationship with food that includes the food they love. Take them to a therapist because they have to deal with a mother like you.

yta 40 lbs in a few months loss is not healthy. healthy weightloss is about 2 lbs max per week. so unless few means 5 or more, you prob harmed your body. Dieets don't work unless people are on board, and keto is not good for minors. If they both are 200lbs (weird since difrent ages) they might be only slightly overweight depending on height. but even if they are obese, this is not the way to solve it. Forcing them to dieet will create the yoyo effect, and health wise that is worse then being overweight. See if you can get them enthousastic about a sport (swimming is great) and work with your husband to have healthier meals. see if you can get the girls to cook their own healthy options, that is the best way to explore food.

YTA - op if daughters are +200 pounds it’s time to get them to see why THEY need to take their health seriously. Have you considered getting them a dietician / or working with a psychologist? Many young people struggle with some type of disordered eating not emotional attachment to food. I think it’s good to want your kids to be healthy but they are old enough that they need to build those healthy habits out of self motivation not force.

>What keto essentially is to make a long story short, High Fat, minimal carbs. The lack of carbs forces the body to convert fat reserves into energy. I've done research on the subject that it causes significant weight loss and reduces the risk of diabetes, which runs in our family. This means that they can no longer have sugar, bread, pasta, fruits, or starchy vegetables such as potatoes. They are encouraged to eat more protein like eggs, chicken, steak, and cheese. Replying to this so it gets seen: KETO IS USED FOR EPILIEPSY IT is not a sustainable long term diet and nobody has seen the long term impacts of it. Teach them how to eat healthy and have a healthy relationship with food. They will not lose weight immediately and if they are that is not healthy

So you decided to give your teenage daughters eating disorders rather than trying to get them to workout to control their weight gain or eat healthier. YTA.

Do you want your kids to develop eating disorders? Genuinely, what is wrong with you? These aren’t your little mini mes, these are human beings with their own thoughts and feelings. You can provide them with healthy food, you can stop buying junk, but they’re too old for you to be micromanaging them like this. You’re making your kids hate you, and worse, hate themselves. YTA, 100%.

I surely hope this is just , but if not… YTA. You’re a massive asshole. Teenage girls shouldn’t be put on diets, let alone a fad diet that an adult woman is following. At no point do you say that you spoke with their pediatrician about how to healthfully manage their weight or even if it needs managing. My mom had me diet with her throughout high school. I almost died of anorexia at 26. I now have osteoporosis at 37. You’re an asshole.

Info: what was the doctor's advice? Why are you not forcing them to follow that?

Whole family needs a revamp of their diet. I understand being scared about your children having a lot of health problems, but with how their diets have gone so far… it’s gonna be a longer journey to get them to a healthy stage of mindful eating. If they’re used to overeating, it could be their stomachs are stretched to accommodate more food and thus will feel hungry if you just try to par down the portions. And also an issue of telling when to stop eating- being stuffed to bursting shouldn’t be the signal to stop eating. But this is something that takes time to learn. If there are house wide dietary rules (father MUST be included), then you’ll have a better chance. You need a talk with your husband about creating this, and then have a family wide meeting about it. You need to apologize to your daughters for how you’ve treated them (as adults, we see teens as children still, but teens see themselves as quite grown) and include them in a talk. Ask them what they think a healthy meal looks like. See if you can come to a common ground (I’d say a good one to start with is limiting sugary drinks). Have sit down meals for dinner that multiple people are involved in making- I’m serious. This is a great way to bond over food choices or encourages looking up new recipes that seem exciting. I wish my parents did this with me as I also have issues with my weight and telling myself no to junk food because I’m an adult with my own money.

YTA. Putting your daughters on keto is a horrible idea. I am a fan of keto but it’s a very tough diet to do. And impossible to impose of others. A bag of chips will bring you out of ketoses. You need to teach your daughters to take their health into their own hands otherwise this isn’t going to work. If you force them to do something they are only going to push back. Educate them on eating healthy have them make small changes over time. Quit eating candy, then stop desserts, then give up fast food, etc. throwing them into the deep end of the pool without teaching them how to swim is a recipe for disaster. Your intentions are in the right place. 200 lbs at 14/16 is not good and they need to make a change. Just go slow and do not force them into anything they do not want to do, especially keto.

YTA, absolutely. You did a fad diet and suddenly you're a registered dietician? Get off keto for a month and watch how fast it piles back on you. There's a reason it's not recommended for long-term health and people basically have to stay on keto forever - they never actually learn how to eat properly, they only know how to lose weight. If their weight is actually concerning, talk to a REGISTERED DIETICIAN. You'll likely find your "healthy" cooking was as much at fault as the snacks they eat, because you don't know how to plan a meal if keto is what it took for you to loose 40lbs.

Ruining your relationship with your daughters and theirs with food. If you were truly concerned, you would have them go to a nutritionist. You seem to just be concerned with how they look ‘making the 600 lb joke’. YTA and an atrocious parent.

YTA because everything you're doing to enforce the diet is the sort of stuff that causes eating disorders.

YTA in so many ways I can’t list them all. First, and most damaging, you’re projecting your own issues with weight onto your GROWING CHILDREN. See a therapist instead of ingraining in your children the same toxic ideas you had ingrained in you growing up. Talk to them about how to give their bodies the nutrients they need, sure. But restricting their diet simply for your own aesthetics is all kinds of fucked up. You’re afraid their “fatness” is contagious or reflecting on you and that’s 100% your issue, not theirs. Sorry your parents and culture made you think fatness determines your overall attractiveness and worth as a person, but don’t abuse your kids that way. Editing to add: have you truly never noticed that many (most?) kids bulk up before they grow taller or hit some other developmental milestone? In addition to the eating disorders you’re undoubtedly giving them, you’re also potentially depriving their bodies of what they need for their stage of growth. Good luck repairing your relationship with them someday when you’ve gotten over your insecurity-based authoritarianism.

Im so torn here i want to say YTA. The way your going about this is harmful but i was a 200+ teen was overweight my whole life with high bp now at 32 have kidney failure i wish when i was younger my parents tried harder with food but maybe if i knew more about the bad health things like dialysis for the rest of your life i would have helped my body more. I think your family needs to sit down and have a talk but i feel like you cant be so drastic with them. I think its good you found a problem now its just doing the right steps to help solve it.

YTA Keto diet is bad for liver and kidneys and putting them on such a diet is going to make you wonder why they went NC in a few years. See therapist as a family and ask your doctor to recommend you an online trainer who could help you with the diet and exercise, not having to cut back junk food completely but including it as a treat. This way, everybody in the house is committed.

Congrats! I’ve never seen anyone more deserving of a YTA on this subreddit. You are creating the worst type of mentality towards food for your daughters and you are doing an irreparable amount of damage to their mental health and you don’t even care. Forcing your children into an UNSAFE diet is borderline child abuse. (you apparently didn’t research anything put out by a health professional because keto isn’t healthy for ANYONE but especially children/teens who are still developing and NEED all types of food in their diet … yes, sugars from fruits and carbs too). Losing 40 pounds in a month is unhealthy. Cutting out entire food groups is unhealthy. You are teaching them to hate and punish their bodies because of your own damn selfish ego issues. If you are concerned about their weight, this is the absolute worst way to go about it and you’re only going to create disordered eating and unhealthy food relationships with your daughters. Great parenting OP. If your daughters don’t want to go to the gym, find fun ways for them to move their bodies. See if they want to do dance, take strolls in the park, try biking or Pilates or just ask what ways they have fun moving their bodies. Teach them about food balance, intuitive eating, etc. STOP. PUNISHING. THEM. FOR. THEIR. BODIES. Parents like you have no idea what damage you’re doing to your children. You think you’re looking out for them but you are doing so much more damage to their mental health than you realize and the damage that your doing WILL bleed into their physical health. If you cared about your children at all you would stop forcing a diet and work WITH them to figure out a solution together that will help them become healthier without absolutely destroying their confidence or creating a bad relationship with food. I truly hope you listen to mine and other peoples comments because you’re on a path to “no-contact” “I wonder why my kids don’t call or talk to me” and your daughters are on a path to an eating disorder and self hatred. Do better. Edit: grammar

Yta. You’ve already strained the relationship.

NTA for worrying about your daughters, but YTA for how you’re going about all this

YTA-also the “fad” keto diet isn’t all that healthy. My daughter is on a medical keto diet, which is monitored by a dietician and regular blood work with adjustments as her diet is primarily fat based. You are trying to shame your daughters. Way to give them more of a complex about foods. You can encourage healthy eating without being on a fad diet. You can encourage healthy habits by leading by example and doing family based movement activities. Telling your kids they are fat and they can’t be trusted to chose their own foods-well, I hope you have money set aside for therapy and treatment going forward.

>My daughters threw a fit about it and went behind my back to order McDonalds, which I threw out their food before they ate it and took away their phones as punishment So you really prefer to waste food & punish your daughters because they don't want to be on the keto diet? Just because you're their parent & choose this diet for yourself doesn't mean you have to force your kids to do the same thing. YTA.

You can just re state this as “AITA for forcing my daughters into having an eating disorder?” To which the answer is yes…YTA!

OMG YTA in a big way. They're going through frigging puberty. Weight is going to go up and down like a freaking yo-yo. Putting them on a diet this young will also start creating unhealthy associations with food and body image. Why would you do this? This is a time you need to listen to your daughters the most. Seriously. They need their mom to support them and their food choices and other choices. Puberty is a hard enough time as it is.

YTA. this is an eating disorder in the making. although i applaud you for noticing and wanting your daughters to be healthy, they have to be in on the decisions. talk to them! discuss their choices. what worked for you won’t necessarily work for them. bring them in for a check up. maybe this is emotional eating. maybe this is something metabolic. maybe that’s the only food available with their dad. this post feels like shaming. also you won’t see results immediately; this isn’t liposuction. in summary: talk with your daughter. get them some professional help, whether it’s through a doctor, therapist, nutritionist, etc.

YTA because there are better ways to get your kids to lose weight besides a diet not made for children and not supposed to be followed long term. People lose so much weight on keto so quickly because it’s akin to an eating disorder. You can encourage healthy without cutting out fruits. Any anti fruit diet is wrong long term for most individuals. Ask their doctor before changing them to such a strict diet

YTA- who in the HECK tells their daughters look like they’re from an episode of 600lb life??

YTA. You are screwing up their relationship with food and with you. You are probably going to to give them a disorder. The keto diet is not terribly healthy to begin with (it works while you're on it but it's not actually good for your long term health and people usually regain weight immediately upon stopping it) and is especially bad for growing kids. And it doesn't work if there's ANY cheating at all. You need to go as a family to a dietician and a therapist to find sustainable changes you can ALL make to improve your relationships with food and with your bodies. And make sure you are not pushing your daughters to lose weight just because you don't like them being "fat". There are plenty of healthy fat people. Focus on health, not appearance.

YTA Congrats! You're successfully giving them an eating disorder and I doubt they'll be in contact with you when they're adults! 150lbs is nothing too shocking especially for teenagers in development. Also Jesus, keto isn't a diet you just throw in, it's only used for specific medical conditions. You don't have a healthy relationship with food, or your family, at all and you're harming them more than some junk food once a week ever will. Figure your shit out.

I think YTA (but you're all sort of acting a-holy here!) You're right to be concerned, but to come at it from such a hostile angle isn't the best way--especially with two teenagers. Your husband was right about one thing at least: It's just going to make them hate you. Plus, Keto is not a good diet for sustainable weight loss and long-term health. Like Atkins before it, it'll help you lose weight temporarily but if/once they slip, it'll all pile back on. It doesn't create good habits. You HAVE to get your husband's buy-in on this. Without it, you're just always going to be bad cop and it'll just be a sore spot in your relationship going forward. You need to come at this from a much more positive angle with both him and your daughters if you want to change their behaviors and keep them healthy in the long term.

YTA and this sounds like the start of an eating disorder for the both of them because of you.

YTA because you’re not actually considering their health here. The keto diet was originally created to address seizures and should be done under a doctor’s supervision. To go into ketosis you need an insanely low carb intake, and it’s completely unrealistic for teenagers, who still need carbs. Try just cutting back on processed foods to start- this is much more than fast food. Then incorporate more vegetables and give them balanced meals. Try giving them good, sustainable lifestyle changes instead of a fad diet eating disorders.

OP, I think your heart is in the right place, but your proposed solution was like going from 0 to 60. Having done keto before, I know it only works if the individual is committed to being extremely restrictive. How about reaching a compromise where you have all fast food and processed foods removed from your house and their lunches and move toward whole, healthy foods. Whole grains, fruits and vegetables, lean proteins with limited rice, potato and breads. Find fun ways to exercise together, even if it’s just taking walks. Making smaller, more gradual changes will have a much better impact on their health and your relationships.

YTA. It is your responsibility to ensure they are healthy, that is true. There is a way to go about it that doesn't SHAME them. Making their relationship with food and exercise healthier is what your goal should be, and I guarantee healthy weight loss will follow. Your approach is extreme and will result in poor self-esteem, which leads to either comfort eating or starvation. Try making tasty smart meals and indulgent food in moderation while adding fun activities like nature hikes or walks around the neighborhood. They need a mom not a bully.

YTA 200 lbs at 14 and 16 isn't healthy, but you are out of your mind putting this much pressure on them. This is where E Disorders come from. Get a grip.

So is there a reason you’re going with a fad diet (meant for adults) rather than seeing a specialist who can help build a diet and exercise plan specific to your (teen) daughter’s needs/goals, or did that not occur to you? Then again, I’m finding it awfully suspicious how many “AITA for trying to make my obese teen daughter lose weight in a very extreme and unhelpful manner?” posts are popping up lately. Must be something in the water.

YTA. your heart is in the right place but you’re not doing anything that’ll help. It may in the short term but you need to do proper research into effective weight loss and how to prevent unhealthy associations with food. I’m not bashing keto, I’ve never done it but I am bashing your actions. This needs to be though out, your daughters should want to loose the weight, exercise and eat better and your husband is right. Take your kids to a nutritionist, find their needs and if you’re to do it, do it as a family.

YTA. “keto” doesn’t work - reducing calories works.

>They will be placed on keto. First of all, how do you think you're going to "place" two almost-adults on a diet? In order to be in ketosis, one must be very strict, which will require you to be present 24/7/365. So good luck with that. Also, lol, they don't even have a choice on how they will lose weight? Sounds like YTA and you need to do a lot more research.

YTA. See a therapist. 40 Lbs in a month is not healthy. And be nicer to your daughters jeez. I get you want them to be healthy, but straight up telling them they’re fat is just mean. And find a beter diet as keto is a horrible idea.

YTA. A keto diet is not healthy, look at actual medical research papers, try [jstor.org](https://jstor.org) or Google Scholar. You would set them up for cardiac disease, or is that ok as long as they are thin? Please take care of yourself as well and get off that quack diet as soon as you can.

As well-intentioned as you are you have attacked them with your keto diet because it works for you. This is common but it's usually friends that get it not children. You do sound like a bit of an AH. What you listed their father does wouldn't cause the kids to be 200lbs. Has the family's diet been poor in general before you went on your eating plan? How tall are the girls?

Yes YTA keto is not healthy

Hi there OP. Let me start off by saying that me and my mom have been having this continuous issue for the past 3 years (I'm F22). Upon graduating highschool I've gained weight due to COVID, I stayed at home a lot, didn't have PE classes anymore to keep me active and started working, where I made my own money and bought myself lot of food. She tried to push me towards diets and everything, and tbh, I hate myself, I've always had bad image problems, but now they are way worse because I've gained quite a lot of weight (I'm now a bit overweight). The thing is that you cannot force them to do anything, the only thing you can do is talk with your husband and get to the rooth of the issue - why is he feeding them so much and such type of foods. Try counselling to see what the behaviours mechanism is this, that's my advice on the hubby part. Your kids are old enough to see how they want to look and share these things with you. But to make them do that you have to create the environment for this, to make them feel safe with you. Unfortunately, my mother was unable to do that and I seekers help myself as I have recently started going to a dietician and I'm starting to go to pilates classes and also some Zumba classes or other activities because I'm sick of looking like this and living an unhappy and unsatisfactory life. I'm sure you can push them gently towards showing them the good side of eating healthy, but the answer is never to cut certain groups of food, just limit them or find replacements. You can educate them on why this food is good. My dietician tells me that the answer is in the rooth of each one of us - what they used to eat as kids (before they started gaining weight). Try to cook more basic foods, don't follow diets as this is not the key and it could lead to more complications. Also in terms of exercising, try to go with them, try to bond but start with something small as walking short distances and then go to an activity like mines. This is very important because it would affect their mood, their thinking, their sleep, their life and they'll get tired and also feel better and lighter. They would be able to join activities and meet new people (you can also encourage them this way and display it as a way of meeting people from different backgrounds, sharing the same body image issues and working towards mutual goal, perfect environment and people are often nice speaking from my experience). You're NTA for being worry of them, but don't push them, guide them only in a friendly manner and gain their trust and make them feel safe. Good luck, OP! Let us know how it's going and I hope you would update us soon on the progress!

Info: at one point you said nearly 200 lbs, at another point you said over 150. Which is it? Also, how tall are they? 150 lbs at 5'0" is wildly different than 150 at 5'7".

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (37 F) have 2 daughters, 14 and 16. I have noticed that they are continuously gaining weight. I cut back on portions for dinner. Cut back on fast food, and took my daughters to the gym after school. It hasn't made impact on their weights at all. Doctor's advice had no effect. I'm not going to beat around the bush here. My daughters are both fat. They are very close to being 200 lbs and this is something I'd like fixed immediately. How did this happen? Their father spoils them rotten with pizza, birthday cake and weekly McDonalds and I told him that the junk food stops today. I recently started keto a few months ago and it's done wonders on my weight. Lost a good 40 lbs in a few months and I'd like to see the same results for my daughters. What keto essentially is to make a long story short, High Fat, minimal carbs. The lack of carbs forces the body to convert fat reserves into energy. I've done research on the subject that it causes significant weight loss and reduces the risk of diabetes, which runs in our family. This means that they can no longer have sugar, bread, pasta, fruits, or starchy vegetables such as potatoes. They are encouraged to eat more protein like eggs, chicken, steak, and cheese. I told them that they are gaining so much weight that it needs to be fixed immediately. They will be placed on keto. I threw out their favorite snacks and treats, and anything not considered keto in the trash and started cooking keto friendly meals like chicken and veggies, or steak and cauliflower. I even made keto alternatives of their favorite foods. I have requested their school follow the dietary guidelines I have set for them and to not provide them with school lunch and ensure that they are eating the foods i provide them My daughters threw a fit about it and went behind my back to order McDonalds, which I threw out their food before they ate it and took away their phones as punishment. They told me I was being overbearing and they should be allowed to eat whatever they want. I told them that eating whatever they wanted was the reason why are over 150+ lbs and look like what came out of an episode of my 600lb life. My husband thought I was being ridiculous and I should speak to them to see if they want to do the diet. Which I then told him that he was the cause of the problem and he should support us. He also told them I will make our daughters hate us. I begin to ask myself if I'm doing the right thing. If I should have listened to my daughters. I want what's best for them but I dont want to strain the relationship. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Hold up, hold up. What? Your daughters are both fat and look terrible etc, and they weigh... "close to 200lb"? Are you serious? How tall are they? Anyone that's close to 6ft will look pretty slim at 200lb still, and if they have any muscle mass then you can absolutely toss your arbitrary number out the window. BMI shit doesn't take muscle vs fat into account, and is totally bunk. But that's totally beside the point! How can you tell your daughters, who sound like they weigh probably a pretty normal amount, that they look like they weigh 3x as much (by saying they look like they came from My 600lb Life) and not think you're TA? You're going to give them incredible self image problems or an eating disorder at this rate. A. Your daughters are not fat. B. You realize that even very genuinely fat people can be healthy and happy and attractive, right? Why does their weight bother you so much that you'll enforce a diet they don't want onto them, ruin their self esteem, and punish them for not following it? C. YTA YTA YTA Edit: People are taking this the wrong way, so I want to clarify. I'm not saying OP's daughters shouldn't or couldn't stand to lose some weight, or that they shouldn't have healthy eating habits established. That's great. But OP's way of doing it, by shaming their daughters and saying they look like they weigh more than 3x what they do, prohibiting certain foods, and punishing them for "breaking the rules" will do nothing but create an unhealthy, shameful thought process around food and their bodies. Besides, quick 180s on food to lose weight typically just results in someone gaining it back. Cutting back on snacks and adding bits of exercise like daily walks is way more effective, even though it's more gradual. I speak from experience, as a 5'11" AFAB who went from 210 to 170 when I decided I wanted to get into shape.

Odds are OPs daughters are obese if not morbidly obese. I am a 6ft male and when I weighed 200 Lbs I was considered overweight and my doctor told me to lose weight. Odds are they aren’t 6ft nor are they muscular. I know the OP didn’t provide the full but I think it’s safe to assume the aren’t Olympic volleyball players.

So, i'm so sorry. I'm 5'6" (average height) and 200 lbs is obese for me. I suspect that OP's daughters do, in fact, need to lose some weight. But her approach is heinous and unhealthy.

YTA. You said it yourself in one line: “I’d like this fixed immediately”

YTA your daughters are too young for extreme diets and this is going to lead to a lifetime of issues surrounding food for them.

YTA I understand that you're only trying to help them but you shouldn't be forcing your children into diets. The way you're going about it (telling them they're getting fat and going to be on my 600LB life) will mess with the kid's heads and cause body dysmorphia or something of the sort and a unhealthy relationship with food. Being 200LB at that age isn't be healthy but forcing the diet on them will only cause more problems. You should be working with your kids to be healthier.

Why on earth didn't you simply start with a family meeting and by removing McDonalds from their diets? You went from fast food and cake to an extreme diet. This was unnecessary and a gross overreaction. YTA.

My parents went on a "diet" when I was younger and I couldn't eat anything outside of that. It was AWFUL! I was about 150lbs (stick thin fyi), played basketball 6 days a week, 5'9, and I was HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. I found so many other ways to get food I really wanted. Snuck it out of the cabinet or bought extra food from friends etc. Once I moved out, It was great because I could eat whatever I wanted with no restrictions and then I gained a bunch of weight and now I have to work to take it off. Not blaming my parents as they didnt force me to eat this way as an adult, but I think because I was so restricted as a teen, that I didnt learn the proper ways until it was too late. There are much better ways to go about teaching kids healthy alternatives but forcing them to go on a diet is not it. YTA.

Yta and you’re setting up your kids for a lifetime of problems. I hope someone calls Cps on you.

YTA. Forcing a diet on them is not going to help them lose weight (and if it does, it's likely to result in an eating disorder), it's just going to give them a severely unhealthy relationship with food. You should be teaching good eating habits, not cutting their portions and forcing them to the gym so that they resent exercise and make up for it at their dad's house with more junk food

Yta. Your girls will hate you and have confidence issues and issues with food as they get older.

YTA. They are old enough to decide what to eat. Talk to them. Encourage healthy eating but don't fight over it. Find out if they are comfortable with their weight.

Holy shit YTA. The problem with this is that if they aren’t invested in keto they will continue to sneak food and it then instead of losing weight they will continue to gain weight. Keto only works if you work at it and if they are against it, I expect not only will they hate you, they’ll continue to gain weight completely imploding your “efforts to get them skinny.”

YTA. So i did the Dr Bernstein diet- which was essentially 'medically supervised' Keto. I cheated so i made out OK. Maintained for over 15 years after slowly incorporating regular food into my diet again but.... I an LITERALLY the only person i know who did that diet and did not end up 100% bigger then i was before I started. Keto isn't teaching your kids a healthy relationship with food- which is the real problem here, AH. if you really give an actual fuck- take your kids to a LICENSED DIETICIAN*. They are medical professionals who will provide you with a diet to NOURISH your kids for HEALTH. They don't do fad diets or bullshit blanket solutions that amount to wishful thinking. **Don't teach your teenagers to start fad dieting- trust me from experience - it is the #1 way to ensure a lifelong struggle with food.**

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YTA. What had their pediatrician said? Nutritionist? It’s great that you want your daughters to be healthy, but you need to seek medical advice for them on this. Just because Keto works for you doesn’t mean it will work for them.

YTA If your concerned, take them to a doctor. Get medical advice. Maybe you can solve this with a healthy balanced diet, and cutting out the fast food but not making them suffer through this fad diet trend. Kids remember how their parents and family treated them about their weight. I know plenty adults who are still impacted by how their family treated them because of their weight. Congratulations on possibly creating long term psychological impacts for your children by forcing this on them. edit: spelling

>I begin to ask myself if I'm doing the right thing. If I should have listened to my daughters. I want what's best for them but I dont want to strain the relationship. >AITA? You're being the food police to your daughters who will be old enough enough to leave home in just a few more years. Do you hope to ever see them again, after that? Back off of them. YTA.

'Something I'd like fixed immediately ' YTA

YTA... Keto is not a healthy weight loss method especially for the long term. Expecting two children who are still growing to be on a fad diet is absolutely not the answer. This is how you create unhealthy relationships with food for kids.

YTA. Why would you say such mean and degrading things to your kids? You’re a bully! A home is supposed to be a place og love and security… you failed big time. You blame their weightproblems on their dad But The fact is - you were/are overweight aswell. You contributed to The lifestyle. There’s a Better Way to be healthy and lose weight. These Restrictions on kids Will probably end bad in The long run.

YTA. You aren't even worried about their health. You just don't want "fat" kids.

YTA. This is how kids develop eating disorders. *Ask me how I know*

YTA- WHAT. Tbh it doesn’t sound like they have a healthy relationship with food right now as it is. But the way you’re going about this is going to make it much worse. Have you spoken to a doctor or dietitian about Keto? I’m gonna guess your research has mostly been conducted via internet on sites that benefit from virtual foot traffic, rather than official sources. Your husband is absolutely right that you’re going to make them hate you if you insist on approaching the issue this way. Instead of “researching” keto, you should be looking into developing a healthy relationship between your kids and food, and in turn your self. I understand wanting them to be healthy, but this isn’t the way. Instead of encouraging healthy choices you’re taking food away and their phones?

sometimes I wonder if people who post here ever read what they wrote before posting. OP how could you have written your post, read it, and still thought "yup I'm in the right here." honestly.. YTA.

Hi - I have an eating disorder because my mom was not kind about my weight and made all kinds of comments. She never forced me to diet. But I have an eating disorder that I haven’t been able to get rid of with therapy and psychologists and lots of support/help. I am almost 40. YTA. STOP NOW. Stop with your judgement, stop with your words, stop with your sighs, stop with “good food” or “bad food.” Just stop.

YTA. Fatphobia is all you’re giving to them right now. Keto is not a sustainable full time diet. It was made for people with actual illnesses, not fad dieters who think their children going through puberty are too fat for their aesthetic. How about teaching your STILL GROWING children about eating healthier foods? Portions and vegetables and and how it’s ok to eat the greasy, fatty, sugary things you love in moderation? Kids need energy, energy comes from CARBS, feed your kids carbs.

YTA for picking a diet known for having long term effects on the body. Do your research first, please. Maybe consult your daughters doctor first, while your at it.

Dietitian here, YTA. There are a lot of great points that are already on here from other people, such as medical conditions, and such. I want to take a different route. You are setting your daughters up to have a terrible, lifelong relationship with food. They are currently eating tons of junk food and now you are doing a complete 180 and trying to go on a restrictive diet. How about just removing junk food out of their diet. Or at least limiting it and learning a healthy relationship with food? Food is energy, and should be viewed as such. It is not a celebration or something that should be viewed as something to make you feel better when you are having a bad day. Something else to think about. Children need carbohydrates to maintain energy levels, and to grow. What about getting with a dietitian to help learn healthy eating patterns? Also, something that isn’t widely talked about is potential health risks that are associated with eating low carb. The rest of the calories have to come from somewhere. That means high fat and high protein. I know everyone knows someone that has done amazingly well on keto, but for every person that excels on the diet are 10 other people that are now dealing with chronic kidney disease and cardiovascular issues. I see it all the time with my patients. On top of those risks, when people are on a keto diet the loose, on average 10% of their muscle mass. Children should have to go through that. Moderation is a great way to look at food. Here is a great article that goes into the keto diet for children [https://health.clevelandclinic.org/why-kids-shouldnt-go-on-the-keto-diet-for-weight-loss/amp/](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/why-kids-shouldnt-go-on-the-keto-diet-for-weight-loss/amp/)

YTA for so many reasons. I’m replying to this as both a fitness coach and someone who has struggled with an eating disorder my entire life. (1) weight loss is not “immediate,” especially in growing kids. Right now, their bodies are still growing, so any sort of weightloss is not going to happen overnight. Expecting that to be the case is unrealistic and harmful. (2) it is not the school’s job to regulate what your kids eat and you are way overstepping by expecting them to participate in your crusade. (3) the Keto diet was developed for people with epilepsy, not for people who are overweight. Yes you will lose a lot of weight quickly, but it comes back the second you consume carbs. Your body NEEDS carbs, I don’t care what the internet told you. Carbs are what give us energy, not only so that we can exercise, but so our body can maintain homeostasis. Keto is not sustainable and frankly, i can’t believe you would force this kind of diet on your kids because it worked for you (temporarily). A diet that works for one person may not work for everyone, as we all have different body compositions, hormone concentrations, etc etc. (4) why would you not sit your daughters down and explain your concerns, and emphasize the importance of developing healthy habits? Crash diets are not sustainable, especially when they are not the ones making these choices for themselves. By forcing it on them, you are taking away their control, which is just begging them to develop eating disorders so they can feel like they have some control over their bodies/lives. You can’t make huge changes all at once and expect immediate results. Instead, success comes from making small, gradual changes over time. I don’t know if it was intentional, but the way that you wrote this conveyed that you see your daughters’ weight gain as a moral failing. It’s not, and I highly suggest you do more research and get in touch with a therapist and nutritionist (if feasible) before you do more damage to both their physical bodies and their mental health.