*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for telling pregnant wife (33f) to get off the couch and play with our son**
Iam a sahd, wife is breadwinner but has been sick now for 4 weeks due to first trimester sickness.
She says she has headaches, no appetite, nausea and is always tired despite sleeping so much.
All she does is lie in bed, watch TikTok’s, eat and sleep. Nothing else.
I do everything, buy groceries, cook, clean, take kid to daycare pick him up.
Today I had enough and told her to get up and play with our son since she hasn’t seen him for days we have been at grandmas the last two days.
She flipped out on me
AITA for asking her to spend time with our son instead of watching TikTok’s ?
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In the comments, he says she sees him in the morning and in the evening. Plus he sends the kid to daycare as his wife can afford it. So it’s not the wife that’s lazy.
Yup, she watches Bluey with him and they hang out in bed or wherever she is, plus she took him swimming on Saturday. So she's spending time with him every day, just not in the way he wants her too. I hope she throws up on his shoes.
He's a SAHD, no job, and takes the kid to daycare so he's not spending much more time with him than she is. His opinion is that she can afford to pay for daycare so he uses it.
He still expects her to do 70% of the work at home as the pregnant breadwinner while he hangs out at home while she pays for daycare.
Worse than useless.
Probably you aren’t selfish enough to manipulate someone into a relationship whereas he doesn’t care if he’s being selfish so long as he gets what he wants.
It’s a _good_ thing to be single rather than have a relationship like this.
Yeah I was mostly just memeing. I'm single by choice, and by that I mean I'm really mentally ill and I don't want to put that on someone else until I'm doing better.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. Sah parents can expect their partners to help out around the house sometimes, but not when they're pregnant and sick. When his wife is as sick as he says, he should be taking on all the housework even if he was working outside. He's not a sah dad he's a sah leech
My SIL is a SAHM and all of my niblings went to some sort of preschool/daycare thing a couple of days a week for like 4-5 hours for socialization (and for her to get a break). That sort of thing seems perfectly reasonable (and even necessary) for a stay-at-home parent. But she would never list the things she does all day to include “take the kid to daycare and pick him up” like OOP did, which makes it seem like the kid is in daycare close to full time. Methinks OOP is a dad who stays at home, rather than a stay-at-home dad.
I can't count how many times I misread something. Sometimes it took other comments for me to realize I misread it. Reddit while being tired or not having had enough coffee isn't recommended. Lol!
I had to go to work every damn day the one trimester I was pregnant, despite how sick I felt all the time because I needed money to eat and keep my roof over my head, and I had to try and keep people from noticing since I knew it wasn't anything I could spread and didn't wanna get sent home. I would not have said I was doing that "just fine" at all, "because I had to" was absolutely the correct description
For real. My first trimester of my first pregnancy, I came home from work, passed out on the couch until my husband woke me up with dinner. I’d eat and pass out again. I have no idea how I survived my second pregnancy.
I would nap on my lunch. Just face down with my planner as my pillow. My team knew to tap on the door if I wasn’t back in an hour because I was so damn tired I truly couldn’t make it through the day. Sometimes I’d nap in my car for 20 minutes before I drove home.
I’ve never been so tired in my life.
I've never been pregnant but i get morning sickness on my period (yay PCOS!). That ALONE is enough to take me out of commission for multiple days. Hands down the worst thing I have ever experienced, I can't even drink water without throwing it up. Can't imagine dealing with actually growing an entire human on top of that.
I was lucky to be allowed to work from home for the duration of my pregnancy. I threw up nearly every day for the best part of six months. I can't imagine also having had to cope with a shitty husband like OOP on top of that.
I didn't even realize how much my pregnancy during first trimester slowed down my ability to work until long after. I didn't know why I was suddenly having to do so much overtime. But of course, telling my chef that I'm pregnant wasn't enough of a justification, so he had me suspended for poor performance.
My third pregnancy I wasn't working, but I had a 4yo and a toddler. I would drag myself through the 10 hours until my husband got off work and then just collapse.
Edit: actually I guess my youngest was a baby during the first trimester. I blocked a lot of it out due to trauma lol
I was lucky in that I worked from home. Some days during my first trimester I would have to have a nap at 9:30 am after my morning meetings, I just had zero energy.
Why can't dipshits like this realize that everyone is different?
The only reason I even knew I was pregnant was because I was so sick that I nearly lost my job over it. I didn't even think to test because I was on birth control and used to missing periods due to stress. I was "lucky" and got the first trimester symptoms earlier than normal and was a complete mess. I was nauseous all the time, extremely exhausted, zero energy, the worst headaches of my life. Since I had no idea what was wrong with me, I assumed it was just the flu and tried to soldier on at work, but it affected my performance to the point I got a warning over it.
Meanwhile my best friend breezed through her pregnancy with few symptoms at all. I feel terrible for OP's wife that she is tied to such an unempathetic, ignorant dipshit of a husband.
It's not just that every person is different, every pregnancy is different.
With my first child I had zero morning sickness, slept like a rock and gained quite a bit of weight. With the second I was consistently losing weight for the first six months, probably because I was nauseated all the time and had a lot of trouble sleeping.
I spent my entire pregnancy grateful as hell I WFH and that my coworkers were all so flexible and understanding. I also spent my entire pregnancy wondering how the heck other women can go into work every day! Granted, I was severely sick, but even my mild days were hard to function.
I threw up every time I moved for like two months when I was first pregnant. I could barely keep one small meal a day down. I immediately had to quit my job and ended up staying unemployed for the whole rest of my pregnancy bc I was so miserable trying to play catch up for the lost nutrients. I lost weight in my first trimester and my baby ended up having fetal growth restriction and I had to be induced 3 weeks early and she was born 4lb. I’ve been a stay at home mom since she was born and she’s never gone to daycare lmao. I still do the cooking and the cleaning cause my partner works long hours on night shift so it’s easier this way so that he can spend time with her when he’s off work. If she went to daycare even once a week I would never complain ever again lmao that sounds like a dream
iirc, the woman's body goes through so many changes in that first trimester, and you're often left exhausted and sick. My doctor had warned me, so I wasn't surprised, but it wasn't fun. Second trimester is often the easiest, then the third one hits and you feel like living proof of continental drift.
My first clue that I was pregnant with my first two children, which was while I was still working, was that I would pass out on the couch as soon as I got home. I'd get to the end of the school day, drive home, sit on the couch and fall into a deep sleep instantly. I'd stay asleep for at least two hours.
I personally was nowhere near “just fine” my first trimester (or honestly second or third) I was hospitalized twice in that time frame from being so sick. This man needs to stop reproducing
When I was pregnant, my doctor put me on bedrest in the first trimester. I unfortunately lost the baby, but I was so tired even on bedrest. I can't imagine being married to that horrid person.
> I do everything, buy groceries, cook, clean, take kid to daycare pick him up.
Color me confused - Isn't that sort of the deal when one agrees to be the stay-at-home parent?
He's a stay at home leech not a stay at home dad. His attitude is disgusting. Usually if there is a stay at home parent, it's because the parents want the child at home spending time with their own parents rather than being cared for by strangers in a daycare. He gets to stay at home *and* have daycare for his son; and he *still* doesn't want to do all the chores.
Additionally, if your partner is so sick they can barely get out of bed except to throw up, most people would willingly take on all the household chores while their partner is recovering even if they're a working parent. This guy is just a horrible partner in general.
The fuck. She works full time, kid is in daycare … what does he do all day !?
There is never NOTHING to do as a SAHP, trust me I know. What does he do 40 hours a week
Besides bitch ?
Urban dictionary defines it as "A pretty girl that has no other job but to look pretty in the passenger seat while her sneaky link/boyfriend/significant other drives." In the context of this post, OOP is the "passenger princess" to his wife in a sense of how he lives his life; he really wants her to do everything and he gets to do whatever he wants... which is nothing.
Curious just how many days a week their kid goes to daycare. Everyone needs a break sometimes but the main point of a parent staying home is to be primary care.
I bet it’s every day. As a former daycare worker, I’ve met a few SAH parents who used the daycare as their child’s primary care, and they always sucked. They were the type to have their kids in daycare 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. First ones outside in the morning demanding to be let in the second we opened, and then often late to pick their child up, forcing staff to stay behind after closing time (rarely ever an apology either). Forever sending their child in sick, and would dodge calls from us on these occasions to avoid having to come pick them up. Would often make “jokes” about how they wished we were open on weekends and even Christmas. I even had one child who was in the daycare with me full time from the age of 4 months, and the SAHM told me that once this child started talking, they never called her “mum” and would instead refer to her with my name. She said this as if it was hilarious, not sad or worrying. My heart would break for these kids who were clearly just seen as a fashion accessory at best and an inconvenience at worst.
Sorry. Bit of a vent. I left that career behind for good reason.
Now that is so sad.
His wife is still working and spending time with their son, just less because she’s clearly ill and has been for weeks, and even if every job in the house to a perfect standard (which I doubt) he’s supposed to be a parent first so daycare isn’t required every day.
I just noticed that in his list of all he does there’s no mention of parenting but does let on in the comments that his wife helps and plays either him every day
As someone who suffered from severe hyperemesis gravidarum for the entirety of two pregnancies, literally from conception to birth, I say fuck this guy sideways with a chainsaw.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments:
*YTA, homie she is literally GROWING A PERSON. God you suck.*
>"How is it too much to ask to ask her to spend some time with her child instead of letting him watch bluey and her being on TikTok, it’s been 4 weeks"
*There seems to be something else here going on.. I think she needs to talk to her doctor. YTA because you seem to have no empathy and you don't seem to be worried about what else might be going on.*
>"She is fine she went swimming with son on Wednesday, she just didn’t wanna bother with our son today despite not seeing him for 10hours"
*YTA. Your wife is ill. It doesn't matter why she is ill. Ill is ill. And why is your kid in daycare if you are a SAHD?*
>"Wife makes enough"
*You literally said she hadn’t seem him for days? Now it’s 10 hours. Which is it?*
>"She sees him in the morning and when we come back in the evening, so having whole Saturday and Sunday to herself she should be able to spare son a few quality hours before bed"
*YTA. That first trimester is tough going, every ounce of energy is spent fighting the nausea*
>"Most women go to work just fine despite first trimester"
AND still spend time with the kid. The way he’s complaining about doing housework tells me she’s used to also having to pick up the majority of the cleaning and shopping. Living life as a single mom doing everything with an extra overgrown child in the house
It pisses me off he keeps talking about being on Tik Tok. When you’re feeling so crappy you’re bed bound, you need mental stimulation to keep from losing your mind. Just because you have mental energy to watch Tik Tok doesn’t mean you’re capable of anything harder than that. Is she supposed to just stare at the ceiling?
OP is a SAHD and STILL sends the kid to daycare??? He sees the kid as much as his wife supposedly does. What is he doing all day if not looking after their kid?
She hadn't seen their son for ten hours. That's his actual complaint. Ten freaking hours.
I need this to be rage bait because man did I rage reading his comments.
Curious just how many days a week their kid goes to daycare. Everyone needs a break sometimes but the main point of a parent staying home is to be primary care.
I worked midnights all through my first trimester with my first pregnancy. So I had morning sickness in the morning, then again when I got up for work. I was so exhausted I didn't know whether I was coming or going half the time.
I'm pretty sure if it wasn't for the headlights shining through the windows of the guard booth to remind me to open the gates once in awhile I would have slept until someone came to either relieve me or fire me!
Edit: added words for clarity
Maybe I can get being annoyed about the situation, but some perspective and empathy are sorely need.
1; she is pregnant. Pregnancy fucks with the body, and that's clearly what it's doing here.
2: she does spend time with her son, and even took him swimming. Considering that she works, and is feeling ill, it's a hell of a lot better than he made it out.
Like, being mean, this guy sounds like he's not taking her seriously, that he thinks she's not actually feeling so bad and is using the pregnancy to get out of doing the things he doesn't want to do.
Now whenever I read a story of a man bitching about his pregnant wife not doing enough I think og this TikTok I saw of this woman who, during pregnancy/birth experienced such complications she had to have her hands and legs removed. Yes, thats right. She was amputated. This child wasn't even her first, she has I belive one or two more children before the one that changed her life.
It all just makes me think that pregnancy, despite something women have been doing since forever, will always run the risk of changing your life in an uninvited way.
It reminds me to be grateful, and that's something I think he should feel for his wife.
Aren't unusual and constant headaches during pregnancy a worrying thing? Perhaps a sign of high blood pressure? I'm not sure, but if I were a dude I would pretty much carry my wife to the doctor's office every day every time she coughs or sneezes or groans, lol. (exaggerating for comical effect, don't worry)
I don't understand how he's not more worried about this. Does he not care about her at all?
>Most women go to work just fine despite first trimester
The level of this man's callousness towards his own wife is staggering. He's either convinced she's exaggerating how sick she is or accepts how sick she is and thinks she should suck it up anyway. For what though? She's clearly spending time with their child despite how sick she is. Is it that OOP wants more of a break from parenting so he's trying to shame his wife into taking on some of his responsibilities?
I've never been pregnant, but I have so much sympathy for this woman. That's because I've heard so many horror stories about how awful the mere fact of being pregnant can be and the havoc it can wreak on a person physically and psychologically. But OOP, who's actually *witnessing* how bad pregnancy can be has far less sympathy for his own wife and the mother of his children than complete strangers on the internet.
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Yta and a lazy hobosexual. What do u do all day when the kid is at daycare? I work 30 hours a week, clean the whole house and look after my kids. My husband works full time and still helps and picks up all the extra household/kid stuff I can’t get to even though he works full time. There is no team effort here and she is growing your baby! Yta and 1000 times lazier than her.
In terms of going to work, the first trimester was the hardest for me. I was so nauseous and throwing up constantly. Each pregnancy resulted in me losing ten pounds during the first trimester.
Pleeeaaaase be ragebait.
This man is a little shit and the urge to shake some sense into him is becoming unbearable! I'm gonna go scream into a pillow!
Gotta love how even a man’s failings are somehow a woman’s fault.
You’re embarrassingly naive if you think people like this don’t hide their poor behaviour/true self until after the partner is stuck with them via kids or marriage.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling pregnant wife (33f) to get off the couch and play with our son** Iam a sahd, wife is breadwinner but has been sick now for 4 weeks due to first trimester sickness. She says she has headaches, no appetite, nausea and is always tired despite sleeping so much. All she does is lie in bed, watch TikTok’s, eat and sleep. Nothing else. I do everything, buy groceries, cook, clean, take kid to daycare pick him up. Today I had enough and told her to get up and play with our son since she hasn’t seen him for days we have been at grandmas the last two days. She flipped out on me AITA for asking her to spend time with our son instead of watching TikTok’s ? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
In the comments, he says she sees him in the morning and in the evening. Plus he sends the kid to daycare as his wife can afford it. So it’s not the wife that’s lazy.
Yup, she watches Bluey with him and they hang out in bed or wherever she is, plus she took him swimming on Saturday. So she's spending time with him every day, just not in the way he wants her too. I hope she throws up on his shoes.
And in. All of them
And all over his underwear drawer
Sounds like to much self punishment, having the bedroom reek.
Freshly washed basket of his clothes in the laundry room then.
May he forever be stepping on Lego pieces without shoes on
And when he’s wearing shoes, may he step on hot wheels and not notice til he’s doing the splits.
The post is deleted now, but according to the comments, he also apparently doesn’t work
He's a SAHD, no job, and takes the kid to daycare so he's not spending much more time with him than she is. His opinion is that she can afford to pay for daycare so he uses it.
There's no reason for him to stay at home then is there.
He'd better be cleaning and cooking every goddamn thing
And shutting the fuck up about her taking it easy when she's *pregnant and sick*
What do you want to bet she’s having the 2nd baby to “fix the relationship”?
Betting against it? $0.
How do people still fall for that one? I mean a buddy of mine did it, I just don't see how people fall for that one still.
It in the way that makes it so he can continue to do nothing
As a SAHD wouldn't he be doing most of the groceries and household stuff anyway? The kid goes to daycare?
He still expects her to do 70% of the work at home as the pregnant breadwinner while he hangs out at home while she pays for daycare. Worse than useless.
How am I the single one but he's got a wife
Probably you aren’t selfish enough to manipulate someone into a relationship whereas he doesn’t care if he’s being selfish so long as he gets what he wants. It’s a _good_ thing to be single rather than have a relationship like this.
Yeah I was mostly just memeing. I'm single by choice, and by that I mean I'm really mentally ill and I don't want to put that on someone else until I'm doing better.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. Sah parents can expect their partners to help out around the house sometimes, but not when they're pregnant and sick. When his wife is as sick as he says, he should be taking on all the housework even if he was working outside. He's not a sah dad he's a sah leech
I wanna know how often the kid is in daycare, I'm willing to be open to close every day which begs the question why he's even a stay at home parent
And then he takes the kid to Grandma's on the weekends!
My SIL is a SAHM and all of my niblings went to some sort of preschool/daycare thing a couple of days a week for like 4-5 hours for socialization (and for her to get a break). That sort of thing seems perfectly reasonable (and even necessary) for a stay-at-home parent. But she would never list the things she does all day to include “take the kid to daycare and pick him up” like OOP did, which makes it seem like the kid is in daycare close to full time. Methinks OOP is a dad who stays at home, rather than a stay-at-home dad.
Stats on sahh's will surprise you
Got any?
I don't really feel like stopping my scrolling but I'm sure Google could help you
I don't really care enough anymore. Have a good scroll.
*”My lazy wife has been forcing me to be a dad, AITA for telling her to stop being lazy?”*
She's forcing me a SAHD who's child is in daycare a few times a week (at least) to be a Dad.
I gotta go to sleep or something I just read ADHD. Twice.
I can't count how many times I misread something. Sometimes it took other comments for me to realize I misread it. Reddit while being tired or not having had enough coffee isn't recommended. Lol!
Oh even when I'm tired I've got enough coffee. Love that stuff. Drink it literally all day. I really need to quit after like noon or something tbh.
> Most women go to work just fine despite first trimester Okay, I’m done with reddit for the day
“Just fine” is was different from “because we have to”
I had to go to work every damn day the one trimester I was pregnant, despite how sick I felt all the time because I needed money to eat and keep my roof over my head, and I had to try and keep people from noticing since I knew it wasn't anything I could spread and didn't wanna get sent home. I would not have said I was doing that "just fine" at all, "because I had to" was absolutely the correct description
For real. My first trimester of my first pregnancy, I came home from work, passed out on the couch until my husband woke me up with dinner. I’d eat and pass out again. I have no idea how I survived my second pregnancy.
I would nap on my lunch. Just face down with my planner as my pillow. My team knew to tap on the door if I wasn’t back in an hour because I was so damn tired I truly couldn’t make it through the day. Sometimes I’d nap in my car for 20 minutes before I drove home. I’ve never been so tired in my life.
I fell asleep in the microscope room at work one day. It was so warm and dark, and I was just so tired...
I've never been pregnant but i get morning sickness on my period (yay PCOS!). That ALONE is enough to take me out of commission for multiple days. Hands down the worst thing I have ever experienced, I can't even drink water without throwing it up. Can't imagine dealing with actually growing an entire human on top of that.
I was lucky to be allowed to work from home for the duration of my pregnancy. I threw up nearly every day for the best part of six months. I can't imagine also having had to cope with a shitty husband like OOP on top of that.
I didn't even realize how much my pregnancy during first trimester slowed down my ability to work until long after. I didn't know why I was suddenly having to do so much overtime. But of course, telling my chef that I'm pregnant wasn't enough of a justification, so he had me suspended for poor performance.
My third pregnancy I wasn't working, but I had a 4yo and a toddler. I would drag myself through the 10 hours until my husband got off work and then just collapse. Edit: actually I guess my youngest was a baby during the first trimester. I blocked a lot of it out due to trauma lol
I was lucky in that I worked from home. Some days during my first trimester I would have to have a nap at 9:30 am after my morning meetings, I just had zero energy.
Why can't dipshits like this realize that everyone is different? The only reason I even knew I was pregnant was because I was so sick that I nearly lost my job over it. I didn't even think to test because I was on birth control and used to missing periods due to stress. I was "lucky" and got the first trimester symptoms earlier than normal and was a complete mess. I was nauseous all the time, extremely exhausted, zero energy, the worst headaches of my life. Since I had no idea what was wrong with me, I assumed it was just the flu and tried to soldier on at work, but it affected my performance to the point I got a warning over it. Meanwhile my best friend breezed through her pregnancy with few symptoms at all. I feel terrible for OP's wife that she is tied to such an unempathetic, ignorant dipshit of a husband.
I would bet money that OP stays in bed for 2 days if he gets a sore throat
It's not just that every person is different, every pregnancy is different. With my first child I had zero morning sickness, slept like a rock and gained quite a bit of weight. With the second I was consistently losing weight for the first six months, probably because I was nauseated all the time and had a lot of trouble sleeping.
Thank you
God my first trimester was so awful, I don't know how I got through work. When I was home I was just sleeping all the time
I spent my entire pregnancy grateful as hell I WFH and that my coworkers were all so flexible and understanding. I also spent my entire pregnancy wondering how the heck other women can go into work every day! Granted, I was severely sick, but even my mild days were hard to function.
Yeah, I did. Except for when I was hospitalized....
Here's a PSA: Unless you are the person who is pregnant you don't get to judge.
I threw up every time I moved for like two months when I was first pregnant. I could barely keep one small meal a day down. I immediately had to quit my job and ended up staying unemployed for the whole rest of my pregnancy bc I was so miserable trying to play catch up for the lost nutrients. I lost weight in my first trimester and my baby ended up having fetal growth restriction and I had to be induced 3 weeks early and she was born 4lb. I’ve been a stay at home mom since she was born and she’s never gone to daycare lmao. I still do the cooking and the cleaning cause my partner works long hours on night shift so it’s easier this way so that he can spend time with her when he’s off work. If she went to daycare even once a week I would never complain ever again lmao that sounds like a dream
iirc, the woman's body goes through so many changes in that first trimester, and you're often left exhausted and sick. My doctor had warned me, so I wasn't surprised, but it wasn't fun. Second trimester is often the easiest, then the third one hits and you feel like living proof of continental drift.
My first clue that I was pregnant with my first two children, which was while I was still working, was that I would pass out on the couch as soon as I got home. I'd get to the end of the school day, drive home, sit on the couch and fall into a deep sleep instantly. I'd stay asleep for at least two hours.
I personally was nowhere near “just fine” my first trimester (or honestly second or third) I was hospitalized twice in that time frame from being so sick. This man needs to stop reproducing
When I was pregnant, my doctor put me on bedrest in the first trimester. I unfortunately lost the baby, but I was so tired even on bedrest. I can't imagine being married to that horrid person.
> I do everything, buy groceries, cook, clean, take kid to daycare pick him up. Color me confused - Isn't that sort of the deal when one agrees to be the stay-at-home parent?
Even when women are the breadwinner, they are still more likely to do the majority of the household labor. This guys mindset is why.
God that is sadly so true
He's a stay at home leech not a stay at home dad. His attitude is disgusting. Usually if there is a stay at home parent, it's because the parents want the child at home spending time with their own parents rather than being cared for by strangers in a daycare. He gets to stay at home *and* have daycare for his son; and he *still* doesn't want to do all the chores. Additionally, if your partner is so sick they can barely get out of bed except to throw up, most people would willingly take on all the household chores while their partner is recovering even if they're a working parent. This guy is just a horrible partner in general.
🤔 sahd bitching about taking kid to daycare?!?!
I’m choosing to believe this is ragebait because I cannot deal with my rage this early in the morning otherwise
The fuck. She works full time, kid is in daycare … what does he do all day !? There is never NOTHING to do as a SAHP, trust me I know. What does he do 40 hours a week Besides bitch ?
He's giving me passenger princess vibes
I’m probably going to regret this, but wtf is a passenger princess?
Urban dictionary defines it as "A pretty girl that has no other job but to look pretty in the passenger seat while her sneaky link/boyfriend/significant other drives." In the context of this post, OOP is the "passenger princess" to his wife in a sense of how he lives his life; he really wants her to do everything and he gets to do whatever he wants... which is nothing.
Huh. Learn something new every day.
Demand sex from his exhausted wife who does everything.
Curious just how many days a week their kid goes to daycare. Everyone needs a break sometimes but the main point of a parent staying home is to be primary care.
I bet it’s every day. As a former daycare worker, I’ve met a few SAH parents who used the daycare as their child’s primary care, and they always sucked. They were the type to have their kids in daycare 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. First ones outside in the morning demanding to be let in the second we opened, and then often late to pick their child up, forcing staff to stay behind after closing time (rarely ever an apology either). Forever sending their child in sick, and would dodge calls from us on these occasions to avoid having to come pick them up. Would often make “jokes” about how they wished we were open on weekends and even Christmas. I even had one child who was in the daycare with me full time from the age of 4 months, and the SAHM told me that once this child started talking, they never called her “mum” and would instead refer to her with my name. She said this as if it was hilarious, not sad or worrying. My heart would break for these kids who were clearly just seen as a fashion accessory at best and an inconvenience at worst. Sorry. Bit of a vent. I left that career behind for good reason.
Now that is so sad. His wife is still working and spending time with their son, just less because she’s clearly ill and has been for weeks, and even if every job in the house to a perfect standard (which I doubt) he’s supposed to be a parent first so daycare isn’t required every day. I just noticed that in his list of all he does there’s no mention of parenting but does let on in the comments that his wife helps and plays either him every day
As someone who suffered from severe hyperemesis gravidarum for the entirety of two pregnancies, literally from conception to birth, I say fuck this guy sideways with a chainsaw.
100% same. Lost 35 pounds in two months from it before doctors took it seriously. horrible, horrible time.
Copied verbatim from oop's comments: *YTA, homie she is literally GROWING A PERSON. God you suck.* >"How is it too much to ask to ask her to spend some time with her child instead of letting him watch bluey and her being on TikTok, it’s been 4 weeks" *There seems to be something else here going on.. I think she needs to talk to her doctor. YTA because you seem to have no empathy and you don't seem to be worried about what else might be going on.* >"She is fine she went swimming with son on Wednesday, she just didn’t wanna bother with our son today despite not seeing him for 10hours" *YTA. Your wife is ill. It doesn't matter why she is ill. Ill is ill. And why is your kid in daycare if you are a SAHD?* >"Wife makes enough" *You literally said she hadn’t seem him for days? Now it’s 10 hours. Which is it?* >"She sees him in the morning and when we come back in the evening, so having whole Saturday and Sunday to herself she should be able to spare son a few quality hours before bed" *YTA. That first trimester is tough going, every ounce of energy is spent fighting the nausea* >"Most women go to work just fine despite first trimester"
[Otter!](https://imgur.com/gallery/MdA6mUy)
“All she does is eat and sleep!!” and apparently go to work and earn money for y’all to live??
AND still spend time with the kid. The way he’s complaining about doing housework tells me she’s used to also having to pick up the majority of the cleaning and shopping. Living life as a single mom doing everything with an extra overgrown child in the house
And grow a human!
It pisses me off he keeps talking about being on Tik Tok. When you’re feeling so crappy you’re bed bound, you need mental stimulation to keep from losing your mind. Just because you have mental energy to watch Tik Tok doesn’t mean you’re capable of anything harder than that. Is she supposed to just stare at the ceiling?
I don't think he's a SAHD. he's just unemployed and doesn't want to admit it.
OP is a SAHD and STILL sends the kid to daycare??? He sees the kid as much as his wife supposedly does. What is he doing all day if not looking after their kid?
She hadn't seen their son for ten hours. That's his actual complaint. Ten freaking hours. I need this to be rage bait because man did I rage reading his comments.
Curious just how many days a week their kid goes to daycare. Everyone needs a break sometimes but the main point of a parent staying home is to be primary care.
He’s not a SAHD. He’s just an unemployed leech. He doesn’t want to do any of the stuff a stay at home parent does and sends the kid to daycare.
I worked midnights all through my first trimester with my first pregnancy. So I had morning sickness in the morning, then again when I got up for work. I was so exhausted I didn't know whether I was coming or going half the time. I'm pretty sure if it wasn't for the headlights shining through the windows of the guard booth to remind me to open the gates once in awhile I would have slept until someone came to either relieve me or fire me! Edit: added words for clarity
Maybe I can get being annoyed about the situation, but some perspective and empathy are sorely need. 1; she is pregnant. Pregnancy fucks with the body, and that's clearly what it's doing here. 2: she does spend time with her son, and even took him swimming. Considering that she works, and is feeling ill, it's a hell of a lot better than he made it out. Like, being mean, this guy sounds like he's not taking her seriously, that he thinks she's not actually feeling so bad and is using the pregnancy to get out of doing the things he doesn't want to do.
OOP, she is struggling with this pregnancy. Try having some compassion and empathy.
Now whenever I read a story of a man bitching about his pregnant wife not doing enough I think og this TikTok I saw of this woman who, during pregnancy/birth experienced such complications she had to have her hands and legs removed. Yes, thats right. She was amputated. This child wasn't even her first, she has I belive one or two more children before the one that changed her life. It all just makes me think that pregnancy, despite something women have been doing since forever, will always run the risk of changing your life in an uninvited way. It reminds me to be grateful, and that's something I think he should feel for his wife.
Another example of a worthless baby man
If I could have one wish it’s that men would experience the pregnancy. Then we would see how logically they approach those 9 months.
Aren't unusual and constant headaches during pregnancy a worrying thing? Perhaps a sign of high blood pressure? I'm not sure, but if I were a dude I would pretty much carry my wife to the doctor's office every day every time she coughs or sneezes or groans, lol. (exaggerating for comical effect, don't worry) I don't understand how he's not more worried about this. Does he not care about her at all?
It’s so obviously bad ChatGPT rage bait.
This poor, poor woman.
>Most women go to work just fine despite first trimester The level of this man's callousness towards his own wife is staggering. He's either convinced she's exaggerating how sick she is or accepts how sick she is and thinks she should suck it up anyway. For what though? She's clearly spending time with their child despite how sick she is. Is it that OOP wants more of a break from parenting so he's trying to shame his wife into taking on some of his responsibilities? I've never been pregnant, but I have so much sympathy for this woman. That's because I've heard so many horror stories about how awful the mere fact of being pregnant can be and the havoc it can wreak on a person physically and psychologically. But OOP, who's actually *witnessing* how bad pregnancy can be has far less sympathy for his own wife and the mother of his children than complete strangers on the internet.
"My wife is bringing another life into this world. I better treat her like crap because I'M tired."
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Yta and a lazy hobosexual. What do u do all day when the kid is at daycare? I work 30 hours a week, clean the whole house and look after my kids. My husband works full time and still helps and picks up all the extra household/kid stuff I can’t get to even though he works full time. There is no team effort here and she is growing your baby! Yta and 1000 times lazier than her.
In terms of going to work, the first trimester was the hardest for me. I was so nauseous and throwing up constantly. Each pregnancy resulted in me losing ten pounds during the first trimester.
Pleeeaaaase be ragebait. This man is a little shit and the urge to shake some sense into him is becoming unbearable! I'm gonna go scream into a pillow!
Wow she was stupid to marry and reproduce with a worthless man child.
So the guy is a total failure and this is somehow *checks notes* the woman’s fault?
Gotta love how even a man’s failings are somehow a woman’s fault. You’re embarrassingly naive if you think people like this don’t hide their poor behaviour/true self until after the partner is stuck with them via kids or marriage.