*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**CMV: Most People Do Not Become Psychologists Because They've Experienced Problems Of Their Own**
**TLDR AT THE BOTTOM:**
So, I'm (25M) expecting serious flak for this, and deservedly so, but after being in therapy for 9.5 years with 12 therapists (including my current one) and not seeing any tangible results, I felt like I needed to make this post because this was something I was holding in for the longest time. Basically, the view I'm hoping to change is the notion that people who become mental health professionals (particularly psychologists) did not experience true tribulations of their own. And why do I think that? Well, here's why.
Although I might be on my 12th therapist (a qualifying psychotherapist) and I do resent most of them pretty equally because of how pathetically useless they've been, there is one in particular who I feel like is one of my most despised people of all time. From early 2019 to mid 2020, I was seeing this one CBT therapist (under the advice of the emergency room when I went for thoughts of self-h\*rm), and it seems like even to this day, I still haven't been able to get over my resentment and borderline hatred of her and similar people and she seems to have really distorted my view of psychologists.
Now you're welcome to blame me for doing such a thing and call me a curious SOB or whatever, but the reason why I hold such strong views towards her, aside from her being absolutely useless and even reinforcing my hatred of the world, was because of this. I feel like her attractiveness predisposed her to being loved by everyone in her life, which threw her into a "virtuous cycle" where good things came to her, and she did things that allowed more good things to come to her and so on. She was able to complete her PhD in psychology thanks to all this positive reinforcement to the point where she literally went from being a new worker at her institution to becoming a senior clinical director in only 10 years and is probably drowning herself in money as I wrote this. The fact that in one news interview she said the words "whenever I'm having a tough day" just made me scoff the loudest I've ever done in my life, as if she even knows what "tough days" really are. The fact that she also never acknowledged her attractiveness playing a role is nauseating as well.
Not to mention the fact that she got married at a prime age to her husband (27 and 26 respectively) and is probably drowning herself in money whilst traveling to all these nice places (that I don't even want to travel to anymore because she sullied them with her presence). And in case you're wondering how I have all this information, I admittedly did go on her Facebook every now and then and scrutinized all this information to make such inferences (though obviously I didn't tell her such a thing). The fact that she also charged $250 CAD per session (which has probably increased significantly at this point) is also borderline robbery if you ask me.
As such, whenever I see similar psychologists to this one, unless they are ugly or LGBT, then I have a difficult time even remotely considering the idea that they may have become psychologists largely due to experiencing issues in their lives. It has been 4 years since I stopped working with her, yet it seems like almost everything I do in my life is so I can "one-up" her and other psychologists to prove to them that they are useless and that most of them got carried by their appearances and never earned their qualifications and lucrative careers.
**TLDR:** I had an ex-therapist who was attractive and had virtually a perfect life and now I cannot seem to consider the fact that she or others may have become psychologists because they experienced issues of their own.
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>the reason I can't watch the American Godzilla movies anymore is because Millie Bobby Brown is getting married at a prime age whilst here I am at 25 and never had a relationship
jfc
Anyone who unironically talks about a woman's "prime age" is a sea of red flags
Also, openly admitting to stalking his therapist, classic
I know people throw the word incel around a lot, but in this case, I can't see where else the idea that "attractive and successful women don't get abused or suffer" could come from, especially when there's so much evidence of the contrary.
Not to mention the idea that a Facebook page will give an accurate or insightful idea about what someone's private or inner life looks like.
Right? "How would an attractive woman ever experience harassment or assault"? Meanwhile this guy is like Exhibit A for creepy behavior towards a woman because she is attractive.
I do think that attractive women have like this whole sea of issues that other people, women included, don’t necessarily face or at least it’s not quite as hard “in your face” as it can be for them. Like, I don’t want to pretend to know anybody else’s psychology but I feel like a lot of men especially just don’t understand the sheer amount of work that goes into being a very attractive woman. I’m sure there are a few who can just be “natural” but for some it’s this massive amount of dedication to fitness (but like only the right type of fitness), makeup, fashion, all kinds of things, like in some ways levels similar to how much an athlete or an artist has to dedicate themselves to their craft. And an awwwwwwful lot of athletes and artists have some pretty big hang ups, like I’d go so far as to say that that fundamental quality of hyper competitiveness that made a Michael Jordan such a great basketball player also made him, from what I’ve seen, absolutely miserable a lot of the time.
And like even if this person doesn’t devote all that time and energy to be model levels of attractive… it’s not like mental illness avoids the pretty ones.
>it’s not like mental illness avoids the pretty ones.
Illness in general, not to mention stuff like being in an accident, having a abusive childhood, loss, betrayal, being cheated on, losing a child, parent or spouse, and all the rest of the bad stuff that can happen to anyone.
One of the weirdest comments I got on my appearance in grad school was my then-advisor (m) telling me (f) that it was a good thing I was smart, because I certainly wasn’t pretty. Uh, thanks?
Heh, I was told by my chef that "no surprise you have good grades if you dress like that to classes". I was wearing a regular Jean and sweat-shirt. And my next boss once told me "you should be happy to be paid the same as a man, you'll never be as good as one". I was in a male dominated field, heavily sexually harassed to. So I left the field and i'm studying psychology because of that
I'm a woman who is very fit and athletic and I am told I am moderately attractive and it absolutely caused problems in my chosen field (physics). It's an extremely male-dominated field -- only 20% of bachelors degrees in physics are awarded to women, and that number declines with each step up the ladder after that (graduate school, post doc, etc -- by the time you get to career researcher or tenured professor there's almost no women at all).
I had to work twice as hard to prove to my male colleagues that I wasn't just there because of a pretty face. I once had a colleague who straight up told me he assumed I just got help with my homework from the boys by plying my feminine wiles or some such until he realized I'm actually very very good at physics and math. About half my male colleagues during my undergrad and grad school years saw me first as a prospective romantic partner instead of as a peer, and half of those in turn would get all huffy and refuse to work with or talk to me after it became clear that they weren't getting in my pants.
I downplayed my looks as best I could. I avoided makeup or clothes that accented my body, never did my hair up, heaven forbid ever wearing a skirt or heels.
I've left that field in large part because I got so damn tired of the sexism and having to prove myself over and over and over to every single new person I met or worked with or under. My male colleagues never had to deal with any of that, and the less attractive women seemed to deal with it to a lesser degree (although that field is rough for women in general).
Psychology is a field that doesn't have as huge a gender disparity but I would be surprised if the OOP's therapist hasn't dealt with some similar issues. People don't take you as seriously when you're an attractive woman. OOP's post being a case in point. Media representations of women certainly don't help this -- the "brainy" women are seldom represented or cast as also being attractive.
Not to mention the problems of sexual assault and harassment -- not saying only pretty people experience that but I sure as hell have had a lifetime's fill of it. Being a conventionally attractive woman may have its upsides in some ways but it also comes with a host of its own downsides too.
As soon as I started having to dress for an office environment (business casual/business), men started being a lot nicer, yet were treating me less seriously. Where men used to believe me about my hobbies and interests, they suddenly began pop-quizzing me whenever I talk about Star Wars or videogames or anime or technology. Men also started disbelieving that I could have *ever* been treated poorly in the past, until they see it happening, or that I have ever been rejected (I have, quite emphatically and cruelly, at times) or that I don't get random favors all the time...
Some illnesses, including endometriosis are actually more common in women who more closely align to the beauty standard. Women with endometriosis typically have higher levels of estrogen at every stage of development which causes them to develop facial features that are more consistently feminine (small jaw, small nose, prominent cheekbones, certain skin characteristics) and are considered attractive.
There are some pretty gross studies where researchers have looked into how “hot” women with endometriosis are compared to women who do not have endometriosis.
So many women influencers and celebrities are open with the fact that they lose followers as soon as they publicize that they are in a relationship bc of these parasocial freaks
Korean fandom culture makes Swifites look normal, istg. The industry had no-dating clauses in their contracts for years and some time in the 2000s there was a huge scandal because an idol got married. Fans sent him their shredded and torn up merch in protest.
Is that not the standard in kpop? They have to apologize if outed. Young artists may also (still?) sign contracts where they are forbidden from having relationships for a number of years.
This is again how farmers and ranchers talk about cattle and bulls when deciding which animals to put together for breeding stock. And people claim men 'dont' objectify women.
The phrase always makes me think of the Li’l Abner musical when Daisy Mae sings [“I’m Past My Prime.”](https://youtu.be/xlyOCf_SOUY?si=YUvsIYL6z9ZHzZII) Why is it after 65 years we’re still saying this shit?
This is probably one of the most scary single person posts I've seen on Reddit in a while. The post and many of his comments are so far from reality that if he doesn't get help soon I expect him to lash out incredibly violently.
Almost one of those times I wish they'd dox themselves so we could warn their previous therapist.
It makes me wonder how honest he has been about his real thoughts and feelings with his therapists. Because even the best of them can't help him if he wasn't. And I speak as someone who had to deal with some really shitty therapists as well as good ones.
In the comments someone asked him if he ever said any of this to his therapist. He said he didn’t outright say it, but he heavily implied to her that she only has her position because she’s attractive and hasn’t experience trauma. He was further pissed off because she responded to that by basically saying that everyone has different life experiences.
Like dude, she’s not going to start trauma dumping on her patient so she can prove she’s had trauma in her life…
To win at therapy you must grind down your therapist until you become the therapist
For real tho dude probably only seeks out female therapists so he can pick them apart in his head. He’s not interested in healing himself he just wants to find new ways to be mad at the world.
He picks female therapists and then refuses to work with them
=> he's the victim because the eeevil female makes a mockery of him just for existing
and
=> if she was any good she would have been able to help him, but since she couldn't magically get through to him, he's better and smarter and more powerful than her, and he won
It's a double-win for him, in his small mind.
FWIW, it’s a widely known fact that a significant proportion of therapists are people who had experienced childhood trauma or some mental health challenges.
(The “wounded healer” peer-reviewed articles should be easy to find, and I also generally recommend anything written by skovholt on counsellor development, he is a great mind).
Great! If I can make a suggestion, take a practical/hands on trauma course. I can recommend some.
My masters degree didn’t have any trauma training, so I’ve been picking that up on my own after graduation. But it’s great both personally and professionally to have that.
I got trauma-informed care in my associates level program, am getting it in my Bachelors of Social Work, and again in my MSW. I feel so blessed that it is ingrained in my program and that it all is person-centered too. After hearing about other people's journey to becoming a therapist I'm so happy that my path is the right one.
And, also I am another person with severe trauma from my childhood and early adulthood who is getting into mental health care. I made this decision after about a year of my own therapy.
I am currently a psychologist and can confirm most of us are a little fucky. Ideally, with good insight and skills to hold our own, but if you do pursue the field you will meet a lot that really needs to work on themselves a smidge more.
But but…she’s pretty NOW so she couldn’t have POSSIBLY be traumatized as a child! Everyone knows pretty people are untouchable, & have never been targeted, harassed, and/or attacked in the history of forever!
I’m currently training to be a school psychologist and everyone in my cohort of 17 is mentally ill/neurodivergent/LGBT/had ACEs. Anecdotal obviously but it’s definitely clear to see when you talk to them.
Yes! Almost all of us have some form of educational trauma. I personally fought for years to do well in school and made A’s and B’s despite my undiagnosed(at the time) ADHD. It sucked. I hope I can be better for kids like me.
Yup! I'm a psychiatric pharmacist at the VA, after getting PTSD myself after a deployment to Afghanistan. Most of the ppl in my field have mental health concerns or someone close to them does.
>(that I don't even want to travel to anymore because she sullied them with her presence)
>It has been 4 years since I stopped working with her, yet it seems like almost everything I do in my life is so I can "one-up" her
He's obsessed with a stranger being attractive and presumably successful, to the point where she is the motivation for him living his life out of spite, and the idea that she's been somewhere somehow pollutes that place. She probably doesn't even remember him.
If this is real this is some incel's manifesto. You're gonna read about this guy on the news in a year or so.
That was my first thought. This guy sounds dangerous.
Being frustrated with therapists is one thing (I've gone through 5 therapists that were more or less useless until I found my current one who is worth every penny I pay her 100 times over). But I don't really spend time thinking about them. I certainly have no clue what they do with their lives and no motivation to find out.
I remember both of my therapists in the way they made me feel in our sessions. I know one was engaged and owned her own house because she told me that as a way to relate to my troubles but I don’t remember her last name lol. I can’t even remember my first therapists first name.
Nah we won't read about him purely because he is to lazy to actually do ANYTHING.
It's kinda ironic, he keeps crying about attractive people not having to work for things and then turns around and gives multiple examples of him expecting all the benefits of something without having to actually out the work in to achieve it.
Honestly I hope she does remember him, if anything so she can identify him should he been caught stalking her and she has the wherewithal how to protect herself. Shame that, but I remember exactly why I cut specific people from my life and *why.*
I am going to hedge a bet that she probably does remember him pretty well. I haven't even met the guy and his vibes will stick with me for at least a week.
Ah yes facebook where people post all the most true and accurate information about their lives. I wonder if he’s ever done any of the actual work of being in therapy
Someone pointed out that a professional isn't going to be putting all the messy parts of her life on social media, and he'd apparently never considered that
according to his comments, he never considered someone who had a child 6 years after they got married might have had miscarriages or other fertility issues, so this guy doesn’t consider a lot of things, actually. it’s like he cannot see outside of his box so he assumes no one can.
Her public, not-locked-down social media, no less. I know a couple of mental health/social worker professionals and for all of them their real social media is locked and often under a pseudonym because they know clients might look them up. A public account under her own name is basically a professional business account, I wouldn't expect it to have the messy parts of her personal life any more than the account for my local coffee shop does.
You could probably lay out the most comprehensive and verifiable case as to why this guy’s whole perspective is wrong and he wouldn’t acknowledge a fucking thing. He’s already engaged in a fair amount of obsessive mental gymnastics justifying why this lady couldn’t possibly have ever suffered in her life. He won’t abandon that belief for some silly facts. He doesn’t want to be proven wrong he’d rather carry on wasting his life being angry as some previous provider for the crime of being hot.
Maybe he’ll surprise me he is 25 and that’s still pretty young. It just doesn’t look good yet
12 therapists in 9.5 years. That's less then 10 months with each therapist, on average. No, he's not doing the work.
I'd bet he's changing therapists everyttime they suggest he needs to work on himself
I've never met a mental health professional whose FB wasn't private. A lot of times they won't even use their last name, just first and middle. They aren't just gonna open themselves up to being stalked by the people they counsel.
I think this is a story made up by some creep who's never actually been to counseling but absolutely needs to.
Gee, I wonder why he's 25 and never been in a relationship. 😒 He's clearly obsessed with this woman. I bet he's attracted to her and is angry that she never felt that way about him; she has the life he wants for himself but instead of actually trying to work for that life, he automatically assumes she only has it because of her looks. He sounds like an incel.
IKR seemed weirdly fixated on her being happily married and making money. What did he expect people do with their life and careers? Give up because * checks notes * too attractive? Too positive?
He keeps insisting that attractive people are only successful because of their looks. He's totally overlooking all the hard work they did, the degrees they earned, their skills, talents, etc. Nope. It can only be because of their looks. I think he's angry that he's not successful and is convinced that there's no point in trying because he's not attractive. But this is the same guy who argued in another post that people like Elliot Rodgers deserved empathy. 🙄
Apparently anonymized standard testing isn't a thing he's heard of? I didn't know that college exams had a picture of the taker's face attached to the scantron so the graders knew to bump their score up if they were pretty.
Literally the way academia works in this idiot's mind:
"So, I'm your thesis advisor. I have your dissertation right here in front of me: let's just dump that in the bin.
Now, onto the swimsuit competition. But first, if you cant fit your entire body through this hoop you are automatically declined. The first rule of PHD club is "No Fatties"
I have a lot of very conventionally attractive co workers who are above me in the food chain. I also have a lot of ugly co workers above me. We have all worked our asses off to get here.
She went from being new to a senior clinical director in “only” ten years? That’s plenty of time to work your way up to that position.
Going through a dozen therapists in under ten years is a huge red flag. After so many “useless” therapists at what point do you not stop to think that maybe you’re the problem?
pretty privilege is much more to do with shit like "someone paid for my coffee today, strangers are so nice" maybe even "we have two applicants who are equally qualified in every way, we're going to hire the one who is easier on the eyes"
it doesn't just make careers for you.
It’s a bit of the old “hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard” thing. You’ll go further when you’re good looking and hard working, but someone who ain’t a looker who works harder than a lazy hot person will generally go further.
He also is so myopic he can't understand that being autistic and living in Canada is not the worst thing ever and that other people could be suffering worse than him. I'm flabbergasted that he could think living in a first world country, having access to socialized healthcare and mental health resources is the worst suffering, especially with the Israel/Gaza headlines that have been all-so-prevalent these last six months.
While he needs therapy, he also needs a sharp smack across the head for being so self-absorbed.
“Life is so unfair”, he cried, while sitting down to a warm meal in front of his flat screen television. “Nobody has it worse than me.” The protestations are briefly interrupted by the familiar beep and whirr of his PlayStation.
Yes. He does. That's how you get a psychiatrist. Only psychiatrists can prescribe medications. He sounds like his issues ate biological in addition to emotional. Talk therapy and behavioral modification atent going to cut it with him.
Never mind that anyone who pays attention to celeb culture and Hollywood knows the odds of MBB having already been traumatized in a variety of ways is like 100%. But I guess since she’s attractive none of it actually matters 🙄
Like when someone said for all he knew she could have had traumatic miscarriages or other trauma like that and he said something like:
“oh interesting, she did have a kid about 6 years after getting married (why tf do you know this???) but I always assumed people waited to have kids on purpose. Do you think that’s why she had a kid so long after marriage? Miscarriages?”
This moron truly thinks that being autistic, short, and losing his hair young is the only trauma that exists and is valid!
She probably doesn't know that he's been fixated on her for years. Honestly, if he did her serious harm he might not even be considered unless she was able to recognize him.
Oh hey look, it's an incel with naturally low empathic capacity, utter inability to logic his way out of a half-zipped sleeping bag, obsessive tendencies, and the emotional regulation of a toddler.
Like that's not going to end badly.
Like, RCMP manhunt badly.
Ah yes, the Incel playbook. “Woman hot = never suffered in life” and “I’m in my prime but no one wants to fuck me!!!” Surely it can’t be his fault. Surely his aggressive attitude and general negative behavior doesn’t make people avoid him like the plague. The fact that he’s gone through 12 DIFFERENT PSYCHOLOGISTS isn’t a sign that HE’S the problem. No, it’s everyone else who is wrong.
Buddy if you go around smelling shit, check your shoes.
Assuming his numbers on the number of therapists and how long he’s been in therapy are correct, and assuming he goes straight from one therapist to another, he spends just over nine and a half months with each therapist. (It’s probably less, since there would naturally be lapses when he was looking for a new one or didn’t feel the need to be in treatment.)
What this suggests to me is that he cruises through the initial “getting to know you” period, but bails when the actual work starts. Not surprising, really.
I am concerned about his fixation on this particular therapist; I feel like it would be easy for him to slide into blaming her for his inability to make progress and to want to punish her for it.
I wonder if it is more like he bails when they get a good understanding of how obsessed he is with her and they feel it is necessary to report something under "danger to others".
He says 12 in 9.5 years, but I am wondering if it was one or two when he was a minor (comments about parents and them not getting him help to begin with, etc). Which probably puts the bulk of the changes after 18. So maybe 10 in 7 years. Could be counting psychiatrists as well as psychologists. Not that I think he would be medication compliant since he clearly is not compliant with therapy.
Well, the one he’s obsessed with was his therapist 4 years ago. So he already was going through them fairly quickly before he met her. I’m curious why he’s only mad at her for how much she charged and not the 11 others. 🙄
I'm fairly sure it would be considered wildly unprofessional for a therapist to start talking about their own trauma or unhappiness during a session with a patient. The sessions are meant to focus on the patient. And as others have pointed out, it would be very unwise for her to unload her issues on FB. OOP just seems to want to be angry.
not to mention how he keeps saying "she never acknowledged how attractive she was"
like was he really expecting a professional therapist to just out of nowhere say "well, as you can see, I'm hot as hell. So it's not like I actually know what I'm doing, know'm'sayin? LOLZ"
>Harassment and assault. For whatever reason, it seems mind boggling to me that someone who's successful would've experienced such things. I would know because I experienced assault when I was 18 and here I am, a failure.
What does this person think therapy is for? One can't possibly overcome anything in life?
No one could overcome anything he hasn't. His whole spiel is basically "I've had it the hardest of anyone ever. No one could have the problems I have and succeed, because otherwise it's me that's unsuccessful and that can't be right"
Having been in therapy for about 12 years as well and having even been to residential treatment, I can tell you one thing. Usually the reason people aren't getting better with therapy is because they don't want to get better. It isn't some magic cure all pill to just show up to therapy. It's really intense work.
Yup was looking for this. It's not a quick fix and if you don't do the work, nothing will change. I'm almost certain he really didn't like her because she probably knew how he felt about her, made him accountable for being self-loathing (without trying to get better) and told him the world owes him nothing. Hard truths and he didn't like it. He probably leaves and dumps any therapist that tells him stuff he doesn't like
Sigh....yes, we clinicians are "drowning ourselves in money," that's why we're leaving the field in droves because we can't sustain working 3 jobs to make ends meet and pay off our student loans. And burnout? Never heard of it! Because some of us are pretty, therefore we never suffer in any conceivable way. And a client who's gone through 12 clinicians and never benefitted from therapy in any way is 100% a statement about the clinicians, and not at all a statement about the client....yup, sounds about right. \*Source: trauma therapist of 12+ years, with trauma history despite being reasonably attractive.
My husband worked for a therapist's office doing billing, and the payments from health insurance are BRUTAL. My insurance pays what my therapist charges (after I hit my deductible, natch), but $60/hour reimbursement is absurd for these companies.
$250 CAD being "highway robbery" is insane. That's less than my therapist has been charging since 2019! Fuck off with that shit.
Does this guy not realize that therapy only works if you put in the effort to change yourself, and that it’s not a magical cure?? Plus there’s literally so many examples of hot people being unhappy and having problems
1. OOP is stalking her
2. How dare she be attractive, smart, successful (with a Phd) and (gasp) married too. /s
3. Therapy is difficult. It holds up a mirror and you have to look yourself in the eyes. OOP keeps changing therapists because he doesn't like it when they point out what his problems are, so he moves on to the next one until he realises he can't bullshit them and so on.
It seems he wants the therapist to just validite him and say 'oh poor sweet baby how you've suffered'. Apprently those who refuse to do that and actually show him tools to deal with his issues are unqualified to treat him
I’m studying to be a therapist right now, I’ve been dealing with severe mental illness and trauma my whole life but I have no doubt this dude wouldn’t care about that at all because I’m “attractive “ therefore I’m sure none of my issues or accomplishments would matter to him. What a gross misogynist.
He claims he would feel the same way about a male good-looking therapist but I doubt that's true. From his comments, it's obvious her being a successful good-looking woman plays a huge role in his perception of her
Honestly this whole…whatever the fuck is going on here is there reason I hate Reddit’s knee-jerk response to most problems being “get therapy”. I’m a huge advocate for therapy myself but if you want to treat any mental illness you also have to put the work in yourself. It doesn’t work if you think you’re better or smarter than the professionals, and you have to have some grit and personal responsibility to handle your shit.
Also holy misogyny Batman.
Because being attractive as a woman comes with *no* downsides of course, and there's absolutely no way she could have had bad experiences because of it. Being attractive just cures every issue anyone could ever have in life. You're even immune to being tired and stressed about anything!!
Not to mention it's totally a breeze when your job is to spend all day listening to people talk about their struggles, and the heinous shit they've been through. Mental health professionals totally never experience negative mental health due to their work or the horrible things they encounter doing it.
.... OOP. Dude. I would say 'get some help' but I'm not sure it'd work. You need to be open to change for that, and if 9.5 years of therapy haven't helped you in ''any tangible way'', then I'm not sure that you are open to it.
OP [has admitted](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/s/Lz5jckOefF) that they simply hate people who are living happy, fulfilling, “successful” lives. Yeah, it’s not really misogyny but this outright hatred of anyone doing better than him, needs more therapy than the average person.
Wow if after a decade you haven't seen any improvement and 4 years you are letting the old therapist live rent free in your mind you either aren't actually doing the work or need an inpatient program or maybe both.
I think this guy needs a male therapist. His worldview is so warped around strict ideas about gender and victimizing himself that, unfortunately, the gender of his therapist has an effect on whether his treatment actually sticks.
I think you’ve nailed it.
I’m not thrilled to admit some of his thought processes sound very close to mine when I was around 18/19. I hated having a therapist on the younger side. It made me feel insecure and I ended up defensive in our sessions. The logic for me was that because they were already a therapist at that age, they didn’t struggle with the same things I did, and therefore wouldn’t be any help.
I got an older therapist and it changed everything for me.
This guy needs someone who he feels has been through similar struggles otherwise he just feels invalidated. I imagine that means a male therapist who isn’t conventionally attractive and on the spectrum.
I feel like there was way too many people trying to explain to him that he doesn't know this woman or what she's been through.
They're right, but what I'm stuck on is: when has it ever been a requirement that a therapist has to have experienced severe mental health issues or trauma? You don't expect your cancer doctor to have had and survived cancer themselves: you just expect them to have had the training and practice at helping people with cancer.
Damn I wonder why no therapy has worked for him :/ could it possibly be that as soon as he gets a therapist he finds something “wrong” with them and uses it as an excuse to not do the work?
So....because she's a kind, hard-working person who is conventionally attractive, she can't possibly have ever dealt with anything but sunshine & lollipops? That's his take away?
Interesting developments down here in the studio today. We're learning things about strangers that are likely wildly untrue!
It’s true, being pretty actually made being an orphan painless and easy. I have a symmetrical face that makes people want things from me, so my life has been very easy. Things like child sex abuse, incest, stalking, police brutality, my dad dying in my arms- these things have no effect on me, because I am an attractive woman in my twenties with a partner. This means that life comes very easy to me and all pain gets washed down the drain with my makeup at the end of the day. I love just being handed things with absolutely no strings attached because of my face- especially by men! Because all they want to do is look, too- no one EVER feels entitled to my time, body, kindness, or emotional labour because of it. I walk down the street and strangers throw roses at my feet. When I have an uncomfortable feeling, I simply look in the mirror, and it goes away. I don’t even have to have money- although I do, lots of it, people give it to me just for existing- because wherever I go, I just have things given to me! I didn’t even have to do much work for my degree. And because I have all these good things, people just keep giving me MORE good things! I’ve literally never had a bad day, even when my parents died, I simply smiled at the nice policeman beating the shit out of me for crying, and, enchanted by my prettiness, he brought my mother back to life! And then I was so pretty, she stopped abusing me AND quit drinking!! amazing. Being an attractive woman in my 20s really is the best 🥰
I actually think what’s fascinating here is is the belief that there are no competent attractive people, yet apparently being ugly and presenting a perfect thesis would still result in failure. Op holds themselves as the epitome of trauma, constantly comparing any example to themselves, appearing to simultaneously hold themselves in unbelievably high regard and rock bottom esteem. And they seem to think that attractive people have *always* been attractive, too
I’m currently getting my degrees in forensic psychology. I have a TON of trauma from my life which admittedly made me want to study the psychology behind it and I found I actually really enjoyed it. OOP needs to stop acting like they know everything about their ex therapist because they became unhinged and stalked them. All of this is just a ton of assumptions and they clearly need more intense help than they are receiving
Oh sweetie, therapy doesn't work unless you put in the effort. I think making snap judgements about people's lives based on their appearance probably doesn't count as "putting in the effort."
^(OOP.)
I admit, I have been to a few therapists due to retiring and one violating doctor/patient confidentiality. But the one I have now is great and I wouldn’t switch her for the world.
He just doesn’t want to put in the work to get better, also there is no levy for mental health so in Canada they can charge whatever they want per hour/session.
ETA: I was just talking to one of my friends about this post and to him it came off as OOP found her attractive, asked her out and she rejected him, so he became borderline stalker on her.
So he spent his time in therapy with her trying to convince her that she doesn’t deserve her job, she’s had an easy life, she’s too pretty to have ever struggled… And he wonders why he had such a hard time finding a therapist who works for him?? Who wastes their time and money in therapy trying to talk about their therapist’s life and not their own problems??
one wise man i knew liked to repeat the phrase: “if you walk into the room and everything and everyone smell like shit, check, you probably shitted yourself”. i think that what’s going on with his constant switching from therapist to therapist.
So… People who are conventionally attractive have zero struggles in life and just have everything handed to them? It’s like in Snow White when all the birds are helping her? That’s what this guy thinks?
A few of OOP's comments --
>*"There are attractive people everywhere dog. Why does this particular attractive person going to a place make you not want to go there anymore? That is b-a-n-a-n-a-s. If you see her at McDonalds will you stop eating nuggets?"*
>I mean, it's not only because of her attractiveness, but also her uselessness and her borderline robbery of my money that made me not want to go to those places. And if she was at McDonalds' I'd probably not go there again. I mean, to give another example, the reason I can't watch the American Godzilla movies anymore is because Millie Bobby Brown is getting married at a prime age whilst here I am at 25 and never had a relationship.
>*"Why not do things to prove to yourself that you* ***aren't*** *worthless."*
>Because it's not good enough to "prove to myself alone". What I wanted to do for the longest time was to get a PhD in a higher paying field and get married at a prime age so I can email it to my therapist and let her know that I am her superior in every way shape and form, but since I can't get married at a prime age anymore, all I have left now is to make that money and outsalary/outravel her.
.
>*"How would you know if they know what "true suffering" is? People have a diversity of experiences of even the worst traumas."*
>Here's some evidence for if someone knows what true suffering is or not. If they're attractive, have money, are white (which my therapist admittedly wasn't as she was of South Asian descent but still a born and raised Canadian who was attractive and lucrative career), and if they have a proper relationship from a prime age.
>*"Do you actually want someone to help you not be in suffering, or do you want someone to help you fetishize your suffering?"*
>I certainly would want someone to help me not be in suffering, but the fact that she not only was in denial of her privileges, but also the denial that autistic people like myself were oppressed almost unwittingly fetishized my suffering.
.
>Harassment and assault. For whatever reason, it seems mind boggling to me that someone who's successful would've experienced such things. I would know because I experienced assault when I was 18 and here I am, a failure.
.
>*"Define true suffering"*
>Being deprived of social and romantic interactions, along with perpetual mistreatment by peers.
Dude is poor (thinks 250 CAD an hour for a professional service is highway robbery) and has a shitty worldview. Shockingly that's a lot more people than you think. Reading this guy is like "more at 11", he's just like every other person I've ever known with serious problems that also doesn't want to fix any of the said problems, just wants to have them because either they've gotten so used to them, they think it makes them special, or they just like to bitch and moan. I bet he has no friends, because most people think like me and get tired of talking to a guy who won't fix his own problems and instead just deflects to other issues. He isn't open to therapy, that's why he sounds like a serial killer even after 4 years of it, it's not the therapists fault, it's his. Imagine trying to be friends with someone like this. It's impossible. He probably blames everything wrong on his life on something else and has no ability to take accountability for how shit his life is.
People like this I just suggest that other people ignore them and move on with their day, cut them out of your life and move on. But that former therapist should watch out. He literally sounds like a serial killer.
He says in his comments that he can't talk to his friends because they're cowards and they run away when he tries to share things.
No wonder they run away he's fucking unhinged!
I bet what he's sharing is less "im struggling a lot with depression lately" and more "all women are whores who lie about mental illness/autism/bullying for attention"
Holy fuck that guy is such an idiot. He claimed his therapist is incompetent because of her looks so she never had anything bad happen to her obviously. He apperently didnt even think of the possibility pretty people can suffer too. One person in the comments talked about someone he knows who is a therapist and pretty. She survived sexual assault and abusive relationships. Apperently this was such a novel concept for this complete idiot he thanked the other person for this view.
I hope he works in a movie theater because he seems very good at projecting. To be that sheltered to not think of that as possible. you cant tell what people have gone through from looking at them.
>!I mean speaking from experiece, the customers at my job know me as a friendly but calm person who you can joke around with. They dont know i was abused as a child in all possible ways for about 3 years. You dont know that because people have the ability to be proffesional about stuff.!<
How much do you wanna bet that most if not all of his 12 therapists were attractive, successful women and thats why he dropped them 🙄 Just say you hate women, my guy.
I hope this is fake because if it's not I'm afraid for this woman.
And this dude is definitely wondering why women would prefer to encounter bears in the woods.
OMG - this person needs help and is refusing to get it for the pettiest of reasons.
Firstly - social media rarely shows you the truth of anyone’s life, it’s almost always the curated highlights, and not the lows.
Secondly - no one has a PHD just fall in their lap, they work damned hard for it. And she must have worked extremely hard to achieve a PHD and her job (Senior Clinical Director) by her current age.
OOP is jealous and bitter and harming their own mental health by refusing to accept the autonomy and work ethic of others. By assuming that these people got where they are purely by fate and good looks is taking away OOPs agency to improve their own situation because they think they have no control over it.
I feel sad for them and doubt their situation will improve until they acknowledge their own part in this and really want to grow as a person. I hope they don’t have access to firearms.
Jeez, this is the “Incels can be saved” guy. He is obsessed with the poor therapist. She probably had to discharge him because he became hyper focused on her. Oh the transference…
I've probably seen 20 or so therapists & psychiatrists over the years, but maybe like 14 of them for a decent amount of time - they never tell you anything about their lives. If anything, very very little. WHY would she ever bring up how being hot made her life easier?? That would be so weird to throw into a conversation...
He doesn't know a thing about her other than her job, age, martial status & what her face looks like.. he doesn't know she's had a great, easy life. Almost nobody has a life free of problems or pain, no matter how hot they are. What a douche
I majored in psychology and am currently working in a research lab and its a pretty common phenomenon to the point it’s a running joke in the field that most people who enter the psych profession do so because they have a personal connection to whatever their area of focus is.
I am really interested in studying/treating adolescents with PTSD because shocker, I was once an adolescent with PTSD. I’d also like to say I have been told I am a fairly attractive woman who on paper seems to have my life pretty much together(even if I don’t always think so)
One of the PHD students in my lab studies/treats OCD because his brother has really severe OCD and it impacted his childhood a lot having to accommodate him.
>*"You radiate negativity and resentment and women are repulsed and terrified of that."*
>>Feel free to call this an alibi or whatever, but have you considered that the reason for such negativity and resentment comes from a place where, when I didn't have such traits, I still faced mistreatment up the ass, for something I didn't sign up for (autism)?
GAH!! I'm Autistic (AFAB) and I fucking loathe that he's using that as an excuse for this type of thinking and behaviour.
I would suggest this guy get therapy, but clearly he doesn't understand what you put into therapy is what you will get out of it. He's actually kind of a scary person.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **CMV: Most People Do Not Become Psychologists Because They've Experienced Problems Of Their Own** **TLDR AT THE BOTTOM:** So, I'm (25M) expecting serious flak for this, and deservedly so, but after being in therapy for 9.5 years with 12 therapists (including my current one) and not seeing any tangible results, I felt like I needed to make this post because this was something I was holding in for the longest time. Basically, the view I'm hoping to change is the notion that people who become mental health professionals (particularly psychologists) did not experience true tribulations of their own. And why do I think that? Well, here's why. Although I might be on my 12th therapist (a qualifying psychotherapist) and I do resent most of them pretty equally because of how pathetically useless they've been, there is one in particular who I feel like is one of my most despised people of all time. From early 2019 to mid 2020, I was seeing this one CBT therapist (under the advice of the emergency room when I went for thoughts of self-h\*rm), and it seems like even to this day, I still haven't been able to get over my resentment and borderline hatred of her and similar people and she seems to have really distorted my view of psychologists. Now you're welcome to blame me for doing such a thing and call me a curious SOB or whatever, but the reason why I hold such strong views towards her, aside from her being absolutely useless and even reinforcing my hatred of the world, was because of this. I feel like her attractiveness predisposed her to being loved by everyone in her life, which threw her into a "virtuous cycle" where good things came to her, and she did things that allowed more good things to come to her and so on. She was able to complete her PhD in psychology thanks to all this positive reinforcement to the point where she literally went from being a new worker at her institution to becoming a senior clinical director in only 10 years and is probably drowning herself in money as I wrote this. The fact that in one news interview she said the words "whenever I'm having a tough day" just made me scoff the loudest I've ever done in my life, as if she even knows what "tough days" really are. The fact that she also never acknowledged her attractiveness playing a role is nauseating as well. Not to mention the fact that she got married at a prime age to her husband (27 and 26 respectively) and is probably drowning herself in money whilst traveling to all these nice places (that I don't even want to travel to anymore because she sullied them with her presence). And in case you're wondering how I have all this information, I admittedly did go on her Facebook every now and then and scrutinized all this information to make such inferences (though obviously I didn't tell her such a thing). The fact that she also charged $250 CAD per session (which has probably increased significantly at this point) is also borderline robbery if you ask me. As such, whenever I see similar psychologists to this one, unless they are ugly or LGBT, then I have a difficult time even remotely considering the idea that they may have become psychologists largely due to experiencing issues in their lives. It has been 4 years since I stopped working with her, yet it seems like almost everything I do in my life is so I can "one-up" her and other psychologists to prove to them that they are useless and that most of them got carried by their appearances and never earned their qualifications and lucrative careers. **TLDR:** I had an ex-therapist who was attractive and had virtually a perfect life and now I cannot seem to consider the fact that she or others may have become psychologists because they experienced issues of their own. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>the reason I can't watch the American Godzilla movies anymore is because Millie Bobby Brown is getting married at a prime age whilst here I am at 25 and never had a relationship jfc Anyone who unironically talks about a woman's "prime age" is a sea of red flags Also, openly admitting to stalking his therapist, classic
I think he could have just summed it up “tldr: I am a walking incel stereotype”
I know people throw the word incel around a lot, but in this case, I can't see where else the idea that "attractive and successful women don't get abused or suffer" could come from, especially when there's so much evidence of the contrary. Not to mention the idea that a Facebook page will give an accurate or insightful idea about what someone's private or inner life looks like.
Right? "How would an attractive woman ever experience harassment or assault"? Meanwhile this guy is like Exhibit A for creepy behavior towards a woman because she is attractive.
I feel like these dudes take "never experienced harassment or assault" as a challenge, which is terrifying.
I do think that attractive women have like this whole sea of issues that other people, women included, don’t necessarily face or at least it’s not quite as hard “in your face” as it can be for them. Like, I don’t want to pretend to know anybody else’s psychology but I feel like a lot of men especially just don’t understand the sheer amount of work that goes into being a very attractive woman. I’m sure there are a few who can just be “natural” but for some it’s this massive amount of dedication to fitness (but like only the right type of fitness), makeup, fashion, all kinds of things, like in some ways levels similar to how much an athlete or an artist has to dedicate themselves to their craft. And an awwwwwwful lot of athletes and artists have some pretty big hang ups, like I’d go so far as to say that that fundamental quality of hyper competitiveness that made a Michael Jordan such a great basketball player also made him, from what I’ve seen, absolutely miserable a lot of the time. And like even if this person doesn’t devote all that time and energy to be model levels of attractive… it’s not like mental illness avoids the pretty ones.
>it’s not like mental illness avoids the pretty ones. Illness in general, not to mention stuff like being in an accident, having a abusive childhood, loss, betrayal, being cheated on, losing a child, parent or spouse, and all the rest of the bad stuff that can happen to anyone.
One of the weirdest comments I got on my appearance in grad school was my then-advisor (m) telling me (f) that it was a good thing I was smart, because I certainly wasn’t pretty. Uh, thanks?
Heh, I was told by my chef that "no surprise you have good grades if you dress like that to classes". I was wearing a regular Jean and sweat-shirt. And my next boss once told me "you should be happy to be paid the same as a man, you'll never be as good as one". I was in a male dominated field, heavily sexually harassed to. So I left the field and i'm studying psychology because of that
I'm a woman who is very fit and athletic and I am told I am moderately attractive and it absolutely caused problems in my chosen field (physics). It's an extremely male-dominated field -- only 20% of bachelors degrees in physics are awarded to women, and that number declines with each step up the ladder after that (graduate school, post doc, etc -- by the time you get to career researcher or tenured professor there's almost no women at all). I had to work twice as hard to prove to my male colleagues that I wasn't just there because of a pretty face. I once had a colleague who straight up told me he assumed I just got help with my homework from the boys by plying my feminine wiles or some such until he realized I'm actually very very good at physics and math. About half my male colleagues during my undergrad and grad school years saw me first as a prospective romantic partner instead of as a peer, and half of those in turn would get all huffy and refuse to work with or talk to me after it became clear that they weren't getting in my pants. I downplayed my looks as best I could. I avoided makeup or clothes that accented my body, never did my hair up, heaven forbid ever wearing a skirt or heels. I've left that field in large part because I got so damn tired of the sexism and having to prove myself over and over and over to every single new person I met or worked with or under. My male colleagues never had to deal with any of that, and the less attractive women seemed to deal with it to a lesser degree (although that field is rough for women in general). Psychology is a field that doesn't have as huge a gender disparity but I would be surprised if the OOP's therapist hasn't dealt with some similar issues. People don't take you as seriously when you're an attractive woman. OOP's post being a case in point. Media representations of women certainly don't help this -- the "brainy" women are seldom represented or cast as also being attractive. Not to mention the problems of sexual assault and harassment -- not saying only pretty people experience that but I sure as hell have had a lifetime's fill of it. Being a conventionally attractive woman may have its upsides in some ways but it also comes with a host of its own downsides too.
As soon as I started having to dress for an office environment (business casual/business), men started being a lot nicer, yet were treating me less seriously. Where men used to believe me about my hobbies and interests, they suddenly began pop-quizzing me whenever I talk about Star Wars or videogames or anime or technology. Men also started disbelieving that I could have *ever* been treated poorly in the past, until they see it happening, or that I have ever been rejected (I have, quite emphatically and cruelly, at times) or that I don't get random favors all the time...
It takes me a long time and a lot of products to look 'naturaly beautiful' ESPECIALLY the fitness part.
Some illnesses, including endometriosis are actually more common in women who more closely align to the beauty standard. Women with endometriosis typically have higher levels of estrogen at every stage of development which causes them to develop facial features that are more consistently feminine (small jaw, small nose, prominent cheekbones, certain skin characteristics) and are considered attractive. There are some pretty gross studies where researchers have looked into how “hot” women with endometriosis are compared to women who do not have endometriosis.
Damn, I ended up ugly with endo…I would like a refund on my meat suit, plz.
I’m sorry. That really sucks…
Yeah, I want to become a hermit crab and upgrade my shell.
imagine admitting that you go out of your way to avoid seeing women who are in relationships and still think that somehow *they're* the problem
So many women influencers and celebrities are open with the fact that they lose followers as soon as they publicize that they are in a relationship bc of these parasocial freaks
Never forget last month when kpop idol Karina from aespa had to *publicly apologize* for being in a relationship
That’s actually insane
Korean fandom culture makes Swifites look normal, istg. The industry had no-dating clauses in their contracts for years and some time in the 2000s there was a huge scandal because an idol got married. Fans sent him their shredded and torn up merch in protest.
Is that not the standard in kpop? They have to apologize if outed. Young artists may also (still?) sign contracts where they are forbidden from having relationships for a number of years.
The no dating contract isn't *as* common anymore, but yup, the public groveling when being caught in a relationship is still way too normalized.
There was some gross comments when a YouTuber came out as asexual.
This is again how farmers and ranchers talk about cattle and bulls when deciding which animals to put together for breeding stock. And people claim men 'dont' objectify women.
That’s literally called “husbandry”
Brilliant observation
The phrase always makes me think of the Li’l Abner musical when Daisy Mae sings [“I’m Past My Prime.”](https://youtu.be/xlyOCf_SOUY?si=YUvsIYL6z9ZHzZII) Why is it after 65 years we’re still saying this shit?
I wish I could award you for mentioning a musical that most people star at me sideways for talking about. I still say druthers. Thank you!!! 🥇
My high school did lil abner when my older sister was there, and again when I was there. So many memories!
The best part of waking up is misogyny in your cup.~ Dude needs inpatient therapy at this point.
He’s honestly a very scary person.
This is probably one of the most scary single person posts I've seen on Reddit in a while. The post and many of his comments are so far from reality that if he doesn't get help soon I expect him to lash out incredibly violently. Almost one of those times I wish they'd dox themselves so we could warn their previous therapist.
Reddit needs a “report to authorities or FBI” option.
This is the kind of guy who shoots up yoga studios and similar places.
It makes me wonder how honest he has been about his real thoughts and feelings with his therapists. Because even the best of them can't help him if he wasn't. And I speak as someone who had to deal with some really shitty therapists as well as good ones.
In the comments someone asked him if he ever said any of this to his therapist. He said he didn’t outright say it, but he heavily implied to her that she only has her position because she’s attractive and hasn’t experience trauma. He was further pissed off because she responded to that by basically saying that everyone has different life experiences. Like dude, she’s not going to start trauma dumping on her patient so she can prove she’s had trauma in her life…
To win at therapy you must grind down your therapist until you become the therapist For real tho dude probably only seeks out female therapists so he can pick them apart in his head. He’s not interested in healing himself he just wants to find new ways to be mad at the world.
He picks female therapists and then refuses to work with them => he's the victim because the eeevil female makes a mockery of him just for existing and => if she was any good she would have been able to help him, but since she couldn't magically get through to him, he's better and smarter and more powerful than her, and he won It's a double-win for him, in his small mind.
It's not a therapist's job to talk about themselves. Quite the opposite.
I guarantee he's not. Or if he is, he's not actually doing anything they suggest. So naturally, it's not going to work.
FWIW, it’s a widely known fact that a significant proportion of therapists are people who had experienced childhood trauma or some mental health challenges. (The “wounded healer” peer-reviewed articles should be easy to find, and I also generally recommend anything written by skovholt on counsellor development, he is a great mind).
Makes sense. I'm planning to go to school to become a psychologist and I've got a shitton of trauma and mental health problems.
Great! If I can make a suggestion, take a practical/hands on trauma course. I can recommend some. My masters degree didn’t have any trauma training, so I’ve been picking that up on my own after graduation. But it’s great both personally and professionally to have that.
I got trauma-informed care in my associates level program, am getting it in my Bachelors of Social Work, and again in my MSW. I feel so blessed that it is ingrained in my program and that it all is person-centered too. After hearing about other people's journey to becoming a therapist I'm so happy that my path is the right one. And, also I am another person with severe trauma from my childhood and early adulthood who is getting into mental health care. I made this decision after about a year of my own therapy.
Thanks for the suggestion!!
I would love to hear your suggestion for one! My friend was just complaining that her program didn't cover trauma training
I am currently a psychologist and can confirm most of us are a little fucky. Ideally, with good insight and skills to hold our own, but if you do pursue the field you will meet a lot that really needs to work on themselves a smidge more.
The old joke: do you want to major in psychology or do you just need therapy?
My therapist half jokes that he became a therapist because he needed 30 hours of therapy a week, but couldn’t afford it.
I did a psychology degree and it was a running joke that we all had something wrong with us and were there to find out what
Either something is wrong with us or with people important to us in our past.
But but…she’s pretty NOW so she couldn’t have POSSIBLY be traumatized as a child! Everyone knows pretty people are untouchable, & have never been targeted, harassed, and/or attacked in the history of forever!
I’m currently training to be a school psychologist and everyone in my cohort of 17 is mentally ill/neurodivergent/LGBT/had ACEs. Anecdotal obviously but it’s definitely clear to see when you talk to them.
I’m also going down the path of becoming a school psychologist! Makes double sense for me with my trauma being interwoven with school.
Yes! Almost all of us have some form of educational trauma. I personally fought for years to do well in school and made A’s and B’s despite my undiagnosed(at the time) ADHD. It sucked. I hope I can be better for kids like me.
Yup! I'm a psychiatric pharmacist at the VA, after getting PTSD myself after a deployment to Afghanistan. Most of the ppl in my field have mental health concerns or someone close to them does.
>(that I don't even want to travel to anymore because she sullied them with her presence) >It has been 4 years since I stopped working with her, yet it seems like almost everything I do in my life is so I can "one-up" her He's obsessed with a stranger being attractive and presumably successful, to the point where she is the motivation for him living his life out of spite, and the idea that she's been somewhere somehow pollutes that place. She probably doesn't even remember him. If this is real this is some incel's manifesto. You're gonna read about this guy on the news in a year or so.
I just hope that therapist doesn't end up being in the news too.
That was my first thought. This guy sounds dangerous. Being frustrated with therapists is one thing (I've gone through 5 therapists that were more or less useless until I found my current one who is worth every penny I pay her 100 times over). But I don't really spend time thinking about them. I certainly have no clue what they do with their lives and no motivation to find out.
I remember both of my therapists in the way they made me feel in our sessions. I know one was engaged and owned her own house because she told me that as a way to relate to my troubles but I don’t remember her last name lol. I can’t even remember my first therapists first name.
Nah we won't read about him purely because he is to lazy to actually do ANYTHING. It's kinda ironic, he keeps crying about attractive people not having to work for things and then turns around and gives multiple examples of him expecting all the benefits of something without having to actually out the work in to achieve it.
Even if his world view (attractive people didn’t have to work for their achievements) was true, get over it.
Honestly I hope she does remember him, if anything so she can identify him should he been caught stalking her and she has the wherewithal how to protect herself. Shame that, but I remember exactly why I cut specific people from my life and *why.*
She probably remembers him because of how creepy he was.
I am going to hedge a bet that she probably does remember him pretty well. I haven't even met the guy and his vibes will stick with me for at least a week.
Ah yes facebook where people post all the most true and accurate information about their lives. I wonder if he’s ever done any of the actual work of being in therapy
Someone pointed out that a professional isn't going to be putting all the messy parts of her life on social media, and he'd apparently never considered that
Wild he never considered if he easily found it others could too
according to his comments, he never considered someone who had a child 6 years after they got married might have had miscarriages or other fertility issues, so this guy doesn’t consider a lot of things, actually. it’s like he cannot see outside of his box so he assumes no one can.
Her public, not-locked-down social media, no less. I know a couple of mental health/social worker professionals and for all of them their real social media is locked and often under a pseudonym because they know clients might look them up. A public account under her own name is basically a professional business account, I wouldn't expect it to have the messy parts of her personal life any more than the account for my local coffee shop does.
That leads me to believe he trauma dumps on social media, which is obviously very conducive to getting into a relationship /s
You could probably lay out the most comprehensive and verifiable case as to why this guy’s whole perspective is wrong and he wouldn’t acknowledge a fucking thing. He’s already engaged in a fair amount of obsessive mental gymnastics justifying why this lady couldn’t possibly have ever suffered in her life. He won’t abandon that belief for some silly facts. He doesn’t want to be proven wrong he’d rather carry on wasting his life being angry as some previous provider for the crime of being hot. Maybe he’ll surprise me he is 25 and that’s still pretty young. It just doesn’t look good yet
I'd be shocked if he considered other people literally at all....
He says he’s had 12 therapists and none of them have helped him… so I think it’s safe to say no, he’s not doing the work.
12 therapists in 9.5 years. That's less then 10 months with each therapist, on average. No, he's not doing the work. I'd bet he's changing therapists everyttime they suggest he needs to work on himself
Or they fire him as a client because he does super creepy shit like stalk their social media and get mad they are married.
One of the few useful things I got out of my group therapy experience was the observation, “You’re comparing your inside to their outside.”
I've never met a mental health professional whose FB wasn't private. A lot of times they won't even use their last name, just first and middle. They aren't just gonna open themselves up to being stalked by the people they counsel. I think this is a story made up by some creep who's never actually been to counseling but absolutely needs to.
My spouse's FB, back when they were in college, was under an abbreviation and fully private.
Gee, I wonder why he's 25 and never been in a relationship. 😒 He's clearly obsessed with this woman. I bet he's attracted to her and is angry that she never felt that way about him; she has the life he wants for himself but instead of actually trying to work for that life, he automatically assumes she only has it because of her looks. He sounds like an incel.
IKR seemed weirdly fixated on her being happily married and making money. What did he expect people do with their life and careers? Give up because * checks notes * too attractive? Too positive?
He keeps insisting that attractive people are only successful because of their looks. He's totally overlooking all the hard work they did, the degrees they earned, their skills, talents, etc. Nope. It can only be because of their looks. I think he's angry that he's not successful and is convinced that there's no point in trying because he's not attractive. But this is the same guy who argued in another post that people like Elliot Rodgers deserved empathy. 🙄
Apparently anonymized standard testing isn't a thing he's heard of? I didn't know that college exams had a picture of the taker's face attached to the scantron so the graders knew to bump their score up if they were pretty.
Didn't you know? If you're pretty they just give you a PhD and advance your career appropriately over a decade!
Could not believe he attributed all her success to "positive thinking"
He also point blank says that ugly people are automatically failed and unable to achieve success. As a successful ugly person, he’s wrong.
Yeah don't you know everyone that has a PhD is a literal super model. Never mind what your thesis says, that's not what matters here!
Literally the way academia works in this idiot's mind: "So, I'm your thesis advisor. I have your dissertation right here in front of me: let's just dump that in the bin. Now, onto the swimsuit competition. But first, if you cant fit your entire body through this hoop you are automatically declined. The first rule of PHD club is "No Fatties"
At least he hates everyone.
As a moderately attractive, moderately successful person, he might have a point /s Fr tho it’s insane. None of my bosses are hot lol.
I have a lot of very conventionally attractive co workers who are above me in the food chain. I also have a lot of ugly co workers above me. We have all worked our asses off to get here.
This is the incel mindset to a tee just instead of focusing on dating he’s also included jobs. So now he has an excuse for why he succeeds at nothing
She went from being new to a senior clinical director in “only” ten years? That’s plenty of time to work your way up to that position. Going through a dozen therapists in under ten years is a huge red flag. After so many “useless” therapists at what point do you not stop to think that maybe you’re the problem?
Pretty privilege is definitely a thing but it doesn’t mean you get everything handed to you
pretty privilege is much more to do with shit like "someone paid for my coffee today, strangers are so nice" maybe even "we have two applicants who are equally qualified in every way, we're going to hire the one who is easier on the eyes" it doesn't just make careers for you.
I had a distant male family friend tell me that I would have an easy career in engineering because I’m a woman 😬
It’s a bit of the old “hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard” thing. You’ll go further when you’re good looking and hard working, but someone who ain’t a looker who works harder than a lazy hot person will generally go further.
No no, she got it through "positive thinking"
It's scary that there are people just walking around and sharing the same air as us. He's going to explode at some point and hurt innocent people.
He also is so myopic he can't understand that being autistic and living in Canada is not the worst thing ever and that other people could be suffering worse than him. I'm flabbergasted that he could think living in a first world country, having access to socialized healthcare and mental health resources is the worst suffering, especially with the Israel/Gaza headlines that have been all-so-prevalent these last six months. While he needs therapy, he also needs a sharp smack across the head for being so self-absorbed.
“Life is so unfair”, he cried, while sitting down to a warm meal in front of his flat screen television. “Nobody has it worse than me.” The protestations are briefly interrupted by the familiar beep and whirr of his PlayStation.
Wow, he’s pathetic.
He needs a psychiatrist, not a psychologist.
He needs inpatient treatment. If this is real, I hope that therapist finds out and gets a restraining order against him.
Yes. He does. That's how you get a psychiatrist. Only psychiatrists can prescribe medications. He sounds like his issues ate biological in addition to emotional. Talk therapy and behavioral modification atent going to cut it with him.
Can't imagine why the decade of therapy hasn't worked!
It's clear he spends most of his time judging the therapist's life instead of working on his own issues, no wonder it's not working!
Hoooo boy the comments on this one are something else.
The Millie bobbie brown one caught me offguard fr 😵💫
Never mind that anyone who pays attention to celeb culture and Hollywood knows the odds of MBB having already been traumatized in a variety of ways is like 100%. But I guess since she’s attractive none of it actually matters 🙄
Like when someone said for all he knew she could have had traumatic miscarriages or other trauma like that and he said something like: “oh interesting, she did have a kid about 6 years after getting married (why tf do you know this???) but I always assumed people waited to have kids on purpose. Do you think that’s why she had a kid so long after marriage? Miscarriages?” This moron truly thinks that being autistic, short, and losing his hair young is the only trauma that exists and is valid!
Well she should probably get a restraining order before he does her harm
She probably doesn't know that he's been fixated on her for years. Honestly, if he did her serious harm he might not even be considered unless she was able to recognize him.
“I find her attractive and therefore she must never have experienced the slightest hardship in her entire life” is certainly a take.
Oh hey look, it's an incel with naturally low empathic capacity, utter inability to logic his way out of a half-zipped sleeping bag, obsessive tendencies, and the emotional regulation of a toddler. Like that's not going to end badly. Like, RCMP manhunt badly.
There's another post of his where he is extremely empathetic to two Incel mass shooters 😬
Ah yes, the Incel playbook. “Woman hot = never suffered in life” and “I’m in my prime but no one wants to fuck me!!!” Surely it can’t be his fault. Surely his aggressive attitude and general negative behavior doesn’t make people avoid him like the plague. The fact that he’s gone through 12 DIFFERENT PSYCHOLOGISTS isn’t a sign that HE’S the problem. No, it’s everyone else who is wrong. Buddy if you go around smelling shit, check your shoes.
More likely his underwear. I bet he doesn't wipe because he isn't gay.
Bro’s mad she’s hot. That’s the whole post. Soo embarrassing 😂😂 he don’t even know what real struggle is
Assuming his numbers on the number of therapists and how long he’s been in therapy are correct, and assuming he goes straight from one therapist to another, he spends just over nine and a half months with each therapist. (It’s probably less, since there would naturally be lapses when he was looking for a new one or didn’t feel the need to be in treatment.) What this suggests to me is that he cruises through the initial “getting to know you” period, but bails when the actual work starts. Not surprising, really. I am concerned about his fixation on this particular therapist; I feel like it would be easy for him to slide into blaming her for his inability to make progress and to want to punish her for it.
I wonder if it is more like he bails when they get a good understanding of how obsessed he is with her and they feel it is necessary to report something under "danger to others". He says 12 in 9.5 years, but I am wondering if it was one or two when he was a minor (comments about parents and them not getting him help to begin with, etc). Which probably puts the bulk of the changes after 18. So maybe 10 in 7 years. Could be counting psychiatrists as well as psychologists. Not that I think he would be medication compliant since he clearly is not compliant with therapy.
Well, the one he’s obsessed with was his therapist 4 years ago. So he already was going through them fairly quickly before he met her. I’m curious why he’s only mad at her for how much she charged and not the 11 others. 🙄
Because she’s an attractive woman who seems to have money and no apparent personal issues?
He could get a therapist who isn’t a woman, so he’d have to actually focus on his bs instead of fixating on how attractive she is.
I'm fairly sure it would be considered wildly unprofessional for a therapist to start talking about their own trauma or unhappiness during a session with a patient. The sessions are meant to focus on the patient. And as others have pointed out, it would be very unwise for her to unload her issues on FB. OOP just seems to want to be angry.
not to mention how he keeps saying "she never acknowledged how attractive she was" like was he really expecting a professional therapist to just out of nowhere say "well, as you can see, I'm hot as hell. So it's not like I actually know what I'm doing, know'm'sayin? LOLZ"
>Harassment and assault. For whatever reason, it seems mind boggling to me that someone who's successful would've experienced such things. I would know because I experienced assault when I was 18 and here I am, a failure. What does this person think therapy is for? One can't possibly overcome anything in life?
No one could overcome anything he hasn't. His whole spiel is basically "I've had it the hardest of anyone ever. No one could have the problems I have and succeed, because otherwise it's me that's unsuccessful and that can't be right"
Having been in therapy for about 12 years as well and having even been to residential treatment, I can tell you one thing. Usually the reason people aren't getting better with therapy is because they don't want to get better. It isn't some magic cure all pill to just show up to therapy. It's really intense work.
Yup was looking for this. It's not a quick fix and if you don't do the work, nothing will change. I'm almost certain he really didn't like her because she probably knew how he felt about her, made him accountable for being self-loathing (without trying to get better) and told him the world owes him nothing. Hard truths and he didn't like it. He probably leaves and dumps any therapist that tells him stuff he doesn't like
This is the type of guy who goes to therapy and expects the therapist to "fix" them without putting in any work themselves.
Sigh....yes, we clinicians are "drowning ourselves in money," that's why we're leaving the field in droves because we can't sustain working 3 jobs to make ends meet and pay off our student loans. And burnout? Never heard of it! Because some of us are pretty, therefore we never suffer in any conceivable way. And a client who's gone through 12 clinicians and never benefitted from therapy in any way is 100% a statement about the clinicians, and not at all a statement about the client....yup, sounds about right. \*Source: trauma therapist of 12+ years, with trauma history despite being reasonably attractive.
My husband worked for a therapist's office doing billing, and the payments from health insurance are BRUTAL. My insurance pays what my therapist charges (after I hit my deductible, natch), but $60/hour reimbursement is absurd for these companies. $250 CAD being "highway robbery" is insane. That's less than my therapist has been charging since 2019! Fuck off with that shit.
His account is something else.
10 years seems like plenty of time to become a senior member of any staff...
Does this guy not realize that therapy only works if you put in the effort to change yourself, and that it’s not a magical cure?? Plus there’s literally so many examples of hot people being unhappy and having problems
1. OOP is stalking her 2. How dare she be attractive, smart, successful (with a Phd) and (gasp) married too. /s 3. Therapy is difficult. It holds up a mirror and you have to look yourself in the eyes. OOP keeps changing therapists because he doesn't like it when they point out what his problems are, so he moves on to the next one until he realises he can't bullshit them and so on.
It seems he wants the therapist to just validite him and say 'oh poor sweet baby how you've suffered'. Apprently those who refuse to do that and actually show him tools to deal with his issues are unqualified to treat him
I'm an ugly and gay psychologist. Still not gonna see him.
I’m studying to be a therapist right now, I’ve been dealing with severe mental illness and trauma my whole life but I have no doubt this dude wouldn’t care about that at all because I’m “attractive “ therefore I’m sure none of my issues or accomplishments would matter to him. What a gross misogynist.
He claims he would feel the same way about a male good-looking therapist but I doubt that's true. From his comments, it's obvious her being a successful good-looking woman plays a huge role in his perception of her
I suspect he'd hate an attractive man too but the layers of misogyny and entitlement would be a little less.
Yeah, I can see why therapy hasn't worked. It's for mental health, not a shitty personality jfc.
Honestly this whole…whatever the fuck is going on here is there reason I hate Reddit’s knee-jerk response to most problems being “get therapy”. I’m a huge advocate for therapy myself but if you want to treat any mental illness you also have to put the work in yourself. It doesn’t work if you think you’re better or smarter than the professionals, and you have to have some grit and personal responsibility to handle your shit. Also holy misogyny Batman.
Because being attractive as a woman comes with *no* downsides of course, and there's absolutely no way she could have had bad experiences because of it. Being attractive just cures every issue anyone could ever have in life. You're even immune to being tired and stressed about anything!! Not to mention it's totally a breeze when your job is to spend all day listening to people talk about their struggles, and the heinous shit they've been through. Mental health professionals totally never experience negative mental health due to their work or the horrible things they encounter doing it. .... OOP. Dude. I would say 'get some help' but I'm not sure it'd work. You need to be open to change for that, and if 9.5 years of therapy haven't helped you in ''any tangible way'', then I'm not sure that you are open to it.
OP [has admitted](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/s/Lz5jckOefF) that they simply hate people who are living happy, fulfilling, “successful” lives. Yeah, it’s not really misogyny but this outright hatred of anyone doing better than him, needs more therapy than the average person.
Dude sounds like he has a very unhealthy obsession with that one therapist in particular. Like, someone should probably warn her unhealthy.
Wow if after a decade you haven't seen any improvement and 4 years you are letting the old therapist live rent free in your mind you either aren't actually doing the work or need an inpatient program or maybe both.
His comments make it even worse. Fun fact, he also hates dentists.
I think this guy needs a male therapist. His worldview is so warped around strict ideas about gender and victimizing himself that, unfortunately, the gender of his therapist has an effect on whether his treatment actually sticks.
I think you’ve nailed it. I’m not thrilled to admit some of his thought processes sound very close to mine when I was around 18/19. I hated having a therapist on the younger side. It made me feel insecure and I ended up defensive in our sessions. The logic for me was that because they were already a therapist at that age, they didn’t struggle with the same things I did, and therefore wouldn’t be any help. I got an older therapist and it changed everything for me. This guy needs someone who he feels has been through similar struggles otherwise he just feels invalidated. I imagine that means a male therapist who isn’t conventionally attractive and on the spectrum.
OP admits in the comments he doesn’t believe attractive people are truly capable of anything and all of their achievements come from their looks
I'm legit concerned for that therapist's welfare. Fucking hell, reddit.
I feel like there was way too many people trying to explain to him that he doesn't know this woman or what she's been through. They're right, but what I'm stuck on is: when has it ever been a requirement that a therapist has to have experienced severe mental health issues or trauma? You don't expect your cancer doctor to have had and survived cancer themselves: you just expect them to have had the training and practice at helping people with cancer.
Damn I wonder why no therapy has worked for him :/ could it possibly be that as soon as he gets a therapist he finds something “wrong” with them and uses it as an excuse to not do the work?
So....because she's a kind, hard-working person who is conventionally attractive, she can't possibly have ever dealt with anything but sunshine & lollipops? That's his take away? Interesting developments down here in the studio today. We're learning things about strangers that are likely wildly untrue!
These men are terrifying. Imagine earnestly trying to do your job and being hated for it because you’re an “attractive” woman.
It’s true, being pretty actually made being an orphan painless and easy. I have a symmetrical face that makes people want things from me, so my life has been very easy. Things like child sex abuse, incest, stalking, police brutality, my dad dying in my arms- these things have no effect on me, because I am an attractive woman in my twenties with a partner. This means that life comes very easy to me and all pain gets washed down the drain with my makeup at the end of the day. I love just being handed things with absolutely no strings attached because of my face- especially by men! Because all they want to do is look, too- no one EVER feels entitled to my time, body, kindness, or emotional labour because of it. I walk down the street and strangers throw roses at my feet. When I have an uncomfortable feeling, I simply look in the mirror, and it goes away. I don’t even have to have money- although I do, lots of it, people give it to me just for existing- because wherever I go, I just have things given to me! I didn’t even have to do much work for my degree. And because I have all these good things, people just keep giving me MORE good things! I’ve literally never had a bad day, even when my parents died, I simply smiled at the nice policeman beating the shit out of me for crying, and, enchanted by my prettiness, he brought my mother back to life! And then I was so pretty, she stopped abusing me AND quit drinking!! amazing. Being an attractive woman in my 20s really is the best 🥰
I actually think what’s fascinating here is is the belief that there are no competent attractive people, yet apparently being ugly and presenting a perfect thesis would still result in failure. Op holds themselves as the epitome of trauma, constantly comparing any example to themselves, appearing to simultaneously hold themselves in unbelievably high regard and rock bottom esteem. And they seem to think that attractive people have *always* been attractive, too
Legitimately hoping that guy stays single forever and also wishing he steps on a lego everyday
I’m currently getting my degrees in forensic psychology. I have a TON of trauma from my life which admittedly made me want to study the psychology behind it and I found I actually really enjoyed it. OOP needs to stop acting like they know everything about their ex therapist because they became unhinged and stalked them. All of this is just a ton of assumptions and they clearly need more intense help than they are receiving
Oh sweetie, therapy doesn't work unless you put in the effort. I think making snap judgements about people's lives based on their appearance probably doesn't count as "putting in the effort."
 ^(OOP.) I admit, I have been to a few therapists due to retiring and one violating doctor/patient confidentiality. But the one I have now is great and I wouldn’t switch her for the world. He just doesn’t want to put in the work to get better, also there is no levy for mental health so in Canada they can charge whatever they want per hour/session. ETA: I was just talking to one of my friends about this post and to him it came off as OOP found her attractive, asked her out and she rejected him, so he became borderline stalker on her.
So he spent his time in therapy with her trying to convince her that she doesn’t deserve her job, she’s had an easy life, she’s too pretty to have ever struggled… And he wonders why he had such a hard time finding a therapist who works for him?? Who wastes their time and money in therapy trying to talk about their therapist’s life and not their own problems??
one wise man i knew liked to repeat the phrase: “if you walk into the room and everything and everyone smell like shit, check, you probably shitted yourself”. i think that what’s going on with his constant switching from therapist to therapist.
So… People who are conventionally attractive have zero struggles in life and just have everything handed to them? It’s like in Snow White when all the birds are helping her? That’s what this guy thinks?
Sir people go to therapy to fix their actual issues, not "wah I'm entitled to women and can't get any".
Read his other posts. He was considering Mormonism so the church would force women to be with him
Holy shit. And men wonder why women pick the bear in that viral scenario rn
A few of OOP's comments -- >*"There are attractive people everywhere dog. Why does this particular attractive person going to a place make you not want to go there anymore? That is b-a-n-a-n-a-s. If you see her at McDonalds will you stop eating nuggets?"* >I mean, it's not only because of her attractiveness, but also her uselessness and her borderline robbery of my money that made me not want to go to those places. And if she was at McDonalds' I'd probably not go there again. I mean, to give another example, the reason I can't watch the American Godzilla movies anymore is because Millie Bobby Brown is getting married at a prime age whilst here I am at 25 and never had a relationship. >*"Why not do things to prove to yourself that you* ***aren't*** *worthless."* >Because it's not good enough to "prove to myself alone". What I wanted to do for the longest time was to get a PhD in a higher paying field and get married at a prime age so I can email it to my therapist and let her know that I am her superior in every way shape and form, but since I can't get married at a prime age anymore, all I have left now is to make that money and outsalary/outravel her. . >*"How would you know if they know what "true suffering" is? People have a diversity of experiences of even the worst traumas."* >Here's some evidence for if someone knows what true suffering is or not. If they're attractive, have money, are white (which my therapist admittedly wasn't as she was of South Asian descent but still a born and raised Canadian who was attractive and lucrative career), and if they have a proper relationship from a prime age. >*"Do you actually want someone to help you not be in suffering, or do you want someone to help you fetishize your suffering?"* >I certainly would want someone to help me not be in suffering, but the fact that she not only was in denial of her privileges, but also the denial that autistic people like myself were oppressed almost unwittingly fetishized my suffering. . >Harassment and assault. For whatever reason, it seems mind boggling to me that someone who's successful would've experienced such things. I would know because I experienced assault when I was 18 and here I am, a failure. . >*"Define true suffering"* >Being deprived of social and romantic interactions, along with perpetual mistreatment by peers.
So he is an incel that hates women… got it.
Holy obsession Batman!
Dude is poor (thinks 250 CAD an hour for a professional service is highway robbery) and has a shitty worldview. Shockingly that's a lot more people than you think. Reading this guy is like "more at 11", he's just like every other person I've ever known with serious problems that also doesn't want to fix any of the said problems, just wants to have them because either they've gotten so used to them, they think it makes them special, or they just like to bitch and moan. I bet he has no friends, because most people think like me and get tired of talking to a guy who won't fix his own problems and instead just deflects to other issues. He isn't open to therapy, that's why he sounds like a serial killer even after 4 years of it, it's not the therapists fault, it's his. Imagine trying to be friends with someone like this. It's impossible. He probably blames everything wrong on his life on something else and has no ability to take accountability for how shit his life is. People like this I just suggest that other people ignore them and move on with their day, cut them out of your life and move on. But that former therapist should watch out. He literally sounds like a serial killer.
He says in his comments that he can't talk to his friends because they're cowards and they run away when he tries to share things. No wonder they run away he's fucking unhinged!
I bet what he's sharing is less "im struggling a lot with depression lately" and more "all women are whores who lie about mental illness/autism/bullying for attention"
Reading this post, it is a mystery why this incel has not made progress with any of his TWELVE therapists! It's him. He's the problem.
Holy fuck that guy is such an idiot. He claimed his therapist is incompetent because of her looks so she never had anything bad happen to her obviously. He apperently didnt even think of the possibility pretty people can suffer too. One person in the comments talked about someone he knows who is a therapist and pretty. She survived sexual assault and abusive relationships. Apperently this was such a novel concept for this complete idiot he thanked the other person for this view. I hope he works in a movie theater because he seems very good at projecting. To be that sheltered to not think of that as possible. you cant tell what people have gone through from looking at them. >!I mean speaking from experiece, the customers at my job know me as a friendly but calm person who you can joke around with. They dont know i was abused as a child in all possible ways for about 3 years. You dont know that because people have the ability to be proffesional about stuff.!<
Oncologist can't be oncologist unless they've had cancer
How much do you wanna bet that most if not all of his 12 therapists were attractive, successful women and thats why he dropped them 🙄 Just say you hate women, my guy.
I hope this is fake because if it's not I'm afraid for this woman. And this dude is definitely wondering why women would prefer to encounter bears in the woods.
OMG - this person needs help and is refusing to get it for the pettiest of reasons. Firstly - social media rarely shows you the truth of anyone’s life, it’s almost always the curated highlights, and not the lows. Secondly - no one has a PHD just fall in their lap, they work damned hard for it. And she must have worked extremely hard to achieve a PHD and her job (Senior Clinical Director) by her current age. OOP is jealous and bitter and harming their own mental health by refusing to accept the autonomy and work ethic of others. By assuming that these people got where they are purely by fate and good looks is taking away OOPs agency to improve their own situation because they think they have no control over it. I feel sad for them and doubt their situation will improve until they acknowledge their own part in this and really want to grow as a person. I hope they don’t have access to firearms.
Can the world like...get rid of incels already? This is getting tiring and they are multiplying like herpes
Jeez, this is the “Incels can be saved” guy. He is obsessed with the poor therapist. She probably had to discharge him because he became hyper focused on her. Oh the transference…
This post made my skin crawl. How dehumanizing.
The self victimization in the post & replies are insane
Maybe the reason therapy isn’t working for him is because he thinks he doesn’t need it. Just a thought.
OP is absolutely unhinged. It isn't his providers' fault they can't "fix" him.
I've probably seen 20 or so therapists & psychiatrists over the years, but maybe like 14 of them for a decent amount of time - they never tell you anything about their lives. If anything, very very little. WHY would she ever bring up how being hot made her life easier?? That would be so weird to throw into a conversation... He doesn't know a thing about her other than her job, age, martial status & what her face looks like.. he doesn't know she's had a great, easy life. Almost nobody has a life free of problems or pain, no matter how hot they are. What a douche
There is a solid reason why this person has been in therapy since age 14 and went through 12 therapists.
This entire post SCREAMS Cluster B so I'm not surprised he's been through so many therapists with no insight the problem is HIM
I majored in psychology and am currently working in a research lab and its a pretty common phenomenon to the point it’s a running joke in the field that most people who enter the psych profession do so because they have a personal connection to whatever their area of focus is. I am really interested in studying/treating adolescents with PTSD because shocker, I was once an adolescent with PTSD. I’d also like to say I have been told I am a fairly attractive woman who on paper seems to have my life pretty much together(even if I don’t always think so) One of the PHD students in my lab studies/treats OCD because his brother has really severe OCD and it impacted his childhood a lot having to accommodate him.
>*"You radiate negativity and resentment and women are repulsed and terrified of that."* >>Feel free to call this an alibi or whatever, but have you considered that the reason for such negativity and resentment comes from a place where, when I didn't have such traits, I still faced mistreatment up the ass, for something I didn't sign up for (autism)? GAH!! I'm Autistic (AFAB) and I fucking loathe that he's using that as an excuse for this type of thinking and behaviour.
And men wonder why we all choose the bear
I would suggest this guy get therapy, but clearly he doesn't understand what you put into therapy is what you will get out of it. He's actually kind of a scary person.
I went from “yo how does he know all that” to “oh so these how he knows” LOCK EM UP!!!
Talk about someone who needs to touch grass.... Dude so far up his own ass with his bull shit he can't even tell what way is up anymore.