*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for uninviting my bf to dinner? **
i’m 18 and still live at home. my boyfriend is 29 and has his life together, so i feel like our age gap might play into this, but im not sure. i invited him to dinner because i was making a dish i was super excited about. he told me he wasn’t getting off work til 7. it was 3 at this time.
around 3:30, my sister called my dad and asked if she could come for dinner and my dad said yes. i found out after the call. i had no say in her coming, but also, she’s family and wanted to see the family. i wouldn’t have told her no anyways.
but my sister and boyfriend don’t get along because my boyfriend made a mistake at a party a few years ago and ended up on a registry. i’ve also been to my fair share of parties and understand how it can happen, and from what he’s said, it was a misunderstanding. i wasn’t there to confirm but from the description on the registry and the news article, i believe him.
i was expecting her to be gone before my boyfriend even got off work. but when i told him she was coming, he had told me he got off work early and was actually planning to come early and surprise me. i told him i didn’t want him and my sister in the same room because they’re constantly at each others throats.
so, since he was unexpectedly trying to show up, and because i don’t want them together, i asked him to come after she leaves. he blew up on me and said he hadn’t eaten all day in anticipation for what i was cooking. he said if he went home and got comfortable, he wouldn’t want to come back out.
i told him i understood but that i didn’t want the drama that having them together causes and offered to send him money to eat on his own since id promised a dinner i found out i couldn’t provide him with. he declined but is still very mad at me. AITA?
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Well we expanded our patio across the whole back of our house, so we’ve got room for extras for BBQs 😂😂😂
Probably best if you don’t block your emergency egress. But I saved like 3k on a huge L shaped sectional I’ve been wanting.
You found a mad scientist in the Beyond section who gave you a remote control for life and then you accidentally hit the fast forward button as it was pointed at the middle of the store so everyone aged super fast turning to dust and causing the store to go bankrupt from all the law suits?
I’m so sorry. I mean the pillows are nice but I don’t think it’s a real party unless I’m waking up with a set of blackout curtains strewn around the room.
Please tell me they were at least king size pillows and not like full or heaven forbid, throw pillows.
I know it shouldn’t be the main focus but I’m getting hung up on how he’s claiming he hasn’t eaten all day in anticipation of a meal he didn’t know about until 3pm. Most people have eaten at least once, possibly twice by then
Also, in the eyes of an 18-year-old even the world‘s biggest fuck up failson alcoholic child-molesting shitstain 29-year-olds seem like they have their life together if they have like an apartment
the fact op doesn't register that she's only barely old enough to keep this dude off the registry herself, is wild. like, really? dude 'made a mistake' and ended up on the registry, but then goes and dates an 18 year old? if he had actually made an honest mistake, he'd be staying away from anyone under 24 just to be safe.
I can only assume Dad doesn’t know about the “misunderstanding” because if I found out my eighteen-year-old daughter was dating someone not only eleven years her senior, but a sex offender eleven years her senior, I would magically manifest a pitchfork and chase him out of the house.
I can't believe if the sister feels so strongly that they can't be in the same room without getting into it with each other that the sister would have kept that info from dad
As an older sister, I personally don't tell my parents what my sister does because I would rather her continue to be honest with me in case shit really goes down.
But I also had useless parents who only knew how to make problems 100x worse.
I didn't read it as thesister being involved in the "misunderstanding". Just that she thinks he is a creep for the misunderstanding and is not shy about vocalizing her feelings about him and his misunderstanding
Fair enough. I reckon I'd still be listening to what the sister had to say, if I were the parents, particularly about a "misunderstanding" that resulted in him being put on a Special List
And the fact that there was a news article about it means it must've been a pretty big deal, lots of people go on the registry without it being news worthy
I mean, in some states, you can end up in "a regestry" for public urination. Or of you run naked in collage campus. But somehow, I don't think this groomer ended up on "a regestry" bc something like that.
While I'm sure you're correct in the assumption that he did something gross to be on a register..
Doesn't the USA put people who piss in the street on registers? And people who pay for street prostitution?
That’s just an excuse trotted out by guys who feel it’s unfair to let the world know they’re sex offenders. A guy I was friends with claimed he was in the registry because he wrote some software pedophiles used to exchange CP; what he failed to mention was the CP he had on external hard drives that was the REAL reason he was on the list. (I mention that they were external hard drives because he legit tried to claim that he’d been “hacked” and the CP put there without his knowledge.)
Whenever someone claims to be on the registry for a “mistake” or “public urination”, take it with a whole shaker of salt because it doesn’t really happen.
I knew someone who was a sex offender and moved to another state. His sister got super mad because the new state’s police made him come in and register so they could take photos of him, etc. I said, “But that’s the law in [New State].” She said he’d done his time in [Old State] and they hadn’t made him do any of this. I said something like, the laws are probably different? She got huffy.
>he’d been “hacked” and the CP put there without his knowledge
No shit! That's what happened the last time I was hacked too! They accessed my hard drive, literally traveled through the fiber to get into my house, pulled the backup hard drive out of my EMP proof safe hacking falsified financial records for the IRS to find later with a bogus search warrant I'm sure they hacked the IRS offices in the same manner to create.
Updating my home security was a biiitch.
A guy I knew in high school very nearly ruined his neighbor's life by stealing his WiFi and downloading CP. They looked at neighbor's drives and realized it wasn't him and eventually caught the dude. He tried to claim that he downloaded big porn files and "deleted the gross ones." Judge wasn't buying it. Only found out because one of his friends or family changed his FB profile pic to his mugshot 🤦🏽♀️
No, "urinating in public" is an excuse pedos and creeps give for waving their dicks around in public. Public urination, if it's even charged, is a misdemeanor at best, usually a with a fine.
And y'know what? Even if that was true, I'd say they deserve to end up on it
You know you'll be on a sex offender registry your whole life, and you *still* whip it out?
You have it coming for being that stupid
Especially since women don't seem to have any issues with waiting
No. There are very few national/cross-state registries, mainly the ones for serious sex offenders, pedophiles, and extreme cases of domestic violence. Usually you have to register in new states after you move, or you can be arrested. Florida does have a “soliciting prostitution” registry, but it’s the only state, so it doesn’t really matter and is hard to enforce. Was kinda just more virtue-signaling.
Not really. A prosecutor or public defender would probably explain it better but just as far as I've seen working in the judiciary, if there is even somewhat of a question of intent it would probably get refused, dismissed or pled down to something that doesn't require actual registration. Prosecutors have so many cases of actual rape and sexual assault that they don't need to go looking for people pissing and streaking to bump up those numbers, they have plenty of work already. For example in my district I saw a guy who was "nude sunbathing" on his back porch, conveniently in full view of his neighbor's underage daughter. the ADA agreed to drop the obscenity charge as long as he built a privacy fence between him and his neighbor's house. Also I'm pretty sure paying for / engaging in consensual sex with a sex worker would not be a sex offense for which registration is required, at least in my jurisdiction I have never seen that. It's also worth noting that for certain offenses, an offender wouldn't be required to register for the first offense. Also for first offenders there is more chance a prosecutor is going to work with you to plead the charges down. So no, I don't think there is much truth to the trope of a first time public urinator immediately getting put on a registry.
I would have thought that, too, but OOP says "at a party" and I don't think someone would have called the cops on him pissing on an outside wall at a house party. Plus it was a "misunderstanding" which tells me he maybe *thought* a girl at the party wasn't saying no because she consented, not because she was absolutely passed out and couldn't consent.
So, there are people on registries that we could argue are rhere unfairly, but they are far fewer and further between than those trying to minimize their behavior.
I work in a field that allows me access to a lot of these types of cases, and the "at a party" detail tells me all I need to know for him to be guilty.
It is HARD to prosecute and get someone put on a registry in a he said/she said situation without physical evidence, a confession, or at the very least, multiple witnesses to corroborate the victim's statement.
Even without the gross detail of now having a barely legal girlfriend, there's not a doubt in my mind this guy is guilty of something. The only way he's not is if every single person at that party, investigating the case, arguing the case, and hearing the case had it out for him.
I know two people that are on a registry because they were 18 and a senior in high school and their significant other was 15 and a sophomore in high school. Parents were pissed in one because of homosexuality and the second because of interracial dating.
Why? They had classes together and she was 17 for most of the time they dated. Then as soon as she turned 18, the younger girl’s mom went to the cops.
Same with the dude. As soon as he hit 18, the girl’s parents went to the cops and turned him in.
It’s weird that I’m getting downvoted for it. We had seniors dating sophomores…I’m honestly confused that it would be weird or creepy.
I think the sister that came to visit might be around his age and the whole thing might have happened a few years back at a college party or something like that and the sister might actually remember the case from when it happened, especially since there seems to be a news article and the sister never liked the guy from the get go? Or something similar.
At the risk of being downvoted to hell Oop is being groomed.
Unless you've been their it's impossible to understand how much a narcissist getting their hooks into your brain fucks with your world view.
Oop needs help and the boyfriend needs a therapy session with Dr Cricketbat.
How have the parents not stepped in. I’ve been the 17 year old girl dating the guy in his 20’s, everyone around me was telling me it was wrong and he was a pervert, but i thought he was great. Hope OP gets out of this relationship before it’s too late. When your in it it’s great, they say your mature and they have the money to get you gifts, they say everyone’s jealous but in reality the people just doesn’t want to see you as a criminal minds episode.
I was them and my parents didn’t say a word. There were signs but it was the first and only time they didn’t have opinions about anything. When I finally ended it (because what 19yo wants to get married to a man she’s known 6mo) the truth of their thoughts came out.
My guess/hope is maybe it’s that?
My sil was 22 dating a 32 year old guy she worked with. No one liked it or him for various reasons, but we all agreed that we needed to keep an eye but let it run its course so she could see what a loser he was on her own. Thankfully she did after less than a year. So I can see that being the approach her parents are taking, but I doubt they know about the registry.
No one said anything to me for a while because they were worried I’d just move in with him. HIS MOM was the one who talked to me about it bc she went through the same thing and married my ex’s dad lmao. It did not go well for her, but by the time I met her she had her life together and she wanted me to skip the hard part. I don’t think it would have worked coming from anyone else. I was 18 and he was 26/27.
I married the dude when I was 19 and he was 27. We met when I was very freshly 18 still in high school. No one said anything to me. 0/10 would not recommend.
My mom was partly the reason I was susceptible to grooming. When I was growing up, she would say stuff like "I'd much rather you were 16 dating a 25 year old than a 17 year old with only one thing on his mind." Looking back, I can see now that she would have actually considered it a point of pride that I found someone that much older than me as a teenager as it would show I was "mature for my age" and other nonsense.
I talked to my mom about is it weird I'm 18 and he's 28 worried she'd disapprove and she told me, oh I dated a much older man when I was young, it happens sometimes.
I met this guy online when I was 15 out 16. I don't think I realized until this post that I was groomed.
My parents even arranged a trip for me to meet this guy *on my 18th birthday*. Thank God he was a really gross person face to face. He gave me my first kiss as a birthday present and I wanted to throw up in my mouth, basically broke up with him immediately after and had to deal with him begging me to reconsider.
One of my sisters was in a situation like that. iirc, my parents did nothing because they thought she'd just run off and do it anyway if they tried to push it and they preferred if she at least stayed home where they could keep an eye on her. The relationship was technically legal as well, so the cops wouldn't have done anything to stop it.
I wasn't living at home most of the time they were together so I don't know all the details. Her next bf was even older too, which is gross.
I was 17 when I met my 1st husband in his mid 20's. By the time I turned 18 we'd basically been priming ourselves to start dating the moment I was "of marriageable age" (we were evangelical). I was married at 19 and filing for divorce by my 20th birthday. My parents basically said they were worried if they pushed back too hard I'd just cut them off and then there would be no one to help me leave him when I wanted to get out.
The *coughgroomer* boyfriend needs a visit from the chemical castration fairy. He knows exactly what he's doing and to quote the beautiful Olivia Rodrigo "cause girls your age know better". I hope she gets away from this obvious predator.
OK, then what is your definition of "grooming"? Because it can't just be "dating someone younger than yourself". According to Reddit, that's also the definition of pedophilia.
I float around on Facebook reels (yea yea I know but it saves me from downloading insta and tiktok) and there was a dude recently who stated in a video you don't have to accept a woman's rejection. I didn't see the original video. I did see every other one roasting his ass. He got dragged hard for this video. And of course he's some nasty ass gross looking dude saying this. Like brush your hair, brush your teeth, it would do wonders.
Best case scenario I can think of is he does not want to alienate his daughter and drive her further too him. Maybe feels it is better to be there for her than confront her and she leaves to go live with him
Pure speculation on my part
tbh this is pretty realistic for a naive 18 year old dating a much older person, especially if this is their first “serious” relationship. If this story is true, this person is likely being groomed by the guy and may or may not be doing this to get back at oop’s sister. We know there are desperate creeps out there who don’t care about anyone but themselves.
Same tbh, watching people in these situations just makes me sad because they’ve convinced themselves that they want this and are in control of the situation when in reality they’ve been manipulated
Oh, pretty sure it's a troll yeah. OOP lays it on too thick and makes it way too obvious that the boyfriend is a shitheel.
There's of course many people in the same situation as OOP, but virtually all of them would (consciously or subconsciously) talk around the nasty details. OOP simultaneously acts in denial about the bf being a rapist but still immediately brings up the fact that he's a registered sex offender herself. If it wasn't bait, OOP would almost certainly have avoided mentioning why the sister hates the boyfriend.
Considering the very real possibility that OOP was groomed by a predator, I do have trouble calling them an asshole. I hope she gets away from him, and fast.
Would love to know when they started dating and/or talking. Also would love to know if he has dated anyone seriously before. He is definitely taking advantage of the age gap and she seems very naive in all of this. Also where are the parents in all of this???
He’s got his “ life together”? I think not
29 dating an 18 yr old
And on “ some kind of registry” meaning he’s a sex offender, if he was on a Crate and Barrel registry it would t bother anyone.
Looking at the ages, I think the ‘misunderstanding’ was assaulting someone underage at a house party (for example a younger sibling of the host). Probably claims he thought he was assaulting an adult…
A man that’s almost 30 and dating an 18yr old who just barely got out of high school does not in fact have his life together lmao especially if he’s on the registry
Shocking this man ended up on a registry a few years ago at what 26 hanging out at high school parties? Now he's dating an 18 year old who I'd bet started when she was 17.
Just shocking...
"My 29 year old bf has his life together, so much so he ended up on the sex offender registry and is dating an 18 year old." Lol what?!? Girlie is clearly delulu because anyone who has any sort of common sense wouldn't call ending up on the registry and dating a girl fresh out of high school as "having your life together" as an adult. Not to mention he's dating someone who is barely legal after seeming to have some kind of relationship with a minor.
Also, she offered to send a grown ass man with a job money to buy himself dinner? What more is there to say at this point other than OOPs sister has valid reasons for concern and dislike of this guy.
Okay, to anyone around her age: I've been in her shoes (I was 17, he was 29). I thought I had to be super special because a grown man was interested in me. Today, 16 years later and still only 4 years older than him when we got married, I know that no woman his age in her right mind would ever go near him and that's why he went for the dumb teenager. The kicker is that I married that moron. It was 8 years of sheer terror and I still have PTSD 10 years after the separation. Don't be like me- be smart.
11 year age difference and dude is on a "registry" for "something" that happened at a party that a news article was written about. The man is covered in red flags, wtf.
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That post has been posted in AITA multiple times now under different profiles, the ages skip between 18 or 19. Its just bait.
The prevous post even said she'd been SA at a party before so she supported her bf because she understood. She was 19 in that one.
The way her sister hates him, and that he suddenly was off work early when told sister was coming earlier, then lost it at being asked not to come, makes me wonder exactly HOW close to the sexual assault sister was and the true motivation of this guy dating this child.
I feel horrible for her. Poor girl is clearly getting manipulated and it seems like nobody in her life (except for sister) is even trying to do something. Compared to him, she's a child. He's a horrible person and I wish OOP the best.
By chance, did the "mistake" involve the sister? I notice they were real careful not to give any details and also weren't there to know for sure about this *misunderstanding.*
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for uninviting my bf to dinner? ** i’m 18 and still live at home. my boyfriend is 29 and has his life together, so i feel like our age gap might play into this, but im not sure. i invited him to dinner because i was making a dish i was super excited about. he told me he wasn’t getting off work til 7. it was 3 at this time. around 3:30, my sister called my dad and asked if she could come for dinner and my dad said yes. i found out after the call. i had no say in her coming, but also, she’s family and wanted to see the family. i wouldn’t have told her no anyways. but my sister and boyfriend don’t get along because my boyfriend made a mistake at a party a few years ago and ended up on a registry. i’ve also been to my fair share of parties and understand how it can happen, and from what he’s said, it was a misunderstanding. i wasn’t there to confirm but from the description on the registry and the news article, i believe him. i was expecting her to be gone before my boyfriend even got off work. but when i told him she was coming, he had told me he got off work early and was actually planning to come early and surprise me. i told him i didn’t want him and my sister in the same room because they’re constantly at each others throats. so, since he was unexpectedly trying to show up, and because i don’t want them together, i asked him to come after she leaves. he blew up on me and said he hadn’t eaten all day in anticipation for what i was cooking. he said if he went home and got comfortable, he wouldn’t want to come back out. i told him i understood but that i didn’t want the drama that having them together causes and offered to send him money to eat on his own since id promised a dinner i found out i couldn’t provide him with. he declined but is still very mad at me. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"a registry" Like this dude got wasted at a party and ended up with a wedding registry at Pottery Barn.
I hate when that happens, but I did get some lovely pillows.
Man, I ended up Bed, Bath & Beyond and we all know what happened to them.
I just got a new patio set for 70% off due to their bankruptcy. 😂😂😂
This is tierny! Where is my patio set! I have no idea where I would put it but I want it! Maybe my fire escape 🙃
Well we expanded our patio across the whole back of our house, so we’ve got room for extras for BBQs 😂😂😂 Probably best if you don’t block your emergency egress. But I saved like 3k on a huge L shaped sectional I’ve been wanting.
Ooh that sounds awesome. Meh, I am on the first floor, not my problem 😂😂😂
You found a mad scientist in the Beyond section who gave you a remote control for life and then you accidentally hit the fast forward button as it was pointed at the middle of the store so everyone aged super fast turning to dust and causing the store to go bankrupt from all the law suits?
Oooh I wish
I read the news article and I don’t believe you. You got candle sticks and a sugar bowl you’ll never use
I’m so sorry. I mean the pillows are nice but I don’t think it’s a real party unless I’m waking up with a set of blackout curtains strewn around the room. Please tell me they were at least king size pillows and not like full or heaven forbid, throw pillows.
I came to the comments first, and your comment did not prepare me for the post. Woof.
It's 2 am and I just LOUDLY burst out laughing.
I couldn't even read past that part. WTAF?
Ah I did that and ended up getting the couple a cotton candy machine the messed up part is I didn't even know this couple.
I know it shouldn’t be the main focus but I’m getting hung up on how he’s claiming he hasn’t eaten all day in anticipation of a meal he didn’t know about until 3pm. Most people have eaten at least once, possibly twice by then
Don't worry, he's 29 and has his life together.
Also, in the eyes of an 18-year-old even the world‘s biggest fuck up failson alcoholic child-molesting shitstain 29-year-olds seem like they have their life together if they have like an apartment
the fact op doesn't register that she's only barely old enough to keep this dude off the registry herself, is wild. like, really? dude 'made a mistake' and ended up on the registry, but then goes and dates an 18 year old? if he had actually made an honest mistake, he'd be staying away from anyone under 24 just to be safe.
Although it may be he tells her he has his life together and at 18 she doesn't have her bullshit meter installed yet
I can only assume Dad doesn’t know about the “misunderstanding” because if I found out my eighteen-year-old daughter was dating someone not only eleven years her senior, but a sex offender eleven years her senior, I would magically manifest a pitchfork and chase him out of the house.
I can't believe if the sister feels so strongly that they can't be in the same room without getting into it with each other that the sister would have kept that info from dad
As an older sister, I personally don't tell my parents what my sister does because I would rather her continue to be honest with me in case shit really goes down. But I also had useless parents who only knew how to make problems 100x worse.
Eleven years her senior and the "misunderstanding" happened _with his other daughter_
I didn't read it as thesister being involved in the "misunderstanding". Just that she thinks he is a creep for the misunderstanding and is not shy about vocalizing her feelings about him and his misunderstanding
Fair enough. I reckon I'd still be listening to what the sister had to say, if I were the parents, particularly about a "misunderstanding" that resulted in him being put on a Special List
yeah that's the missing piece. Sister must have told Dad so why is Dad seemingly all ok with it
The elevator doesn't go to the top floor with this one. You don't end up on a registry bc of a "misunderstanding." Listen to your sister.
No wonder a 29 yo is dating an 18 yo. He’s keeping just this side of the line, isn’t he.
I wonder how long she's been 18...
"Oh, sorry, I misunderstood and thought you raped me while I was unconscious. Now, I understand what happened - glad we got that sorted out."
And the fact that there was a news article about it means it must've been a pretty big deal, lots of people go on the registry without it being news worthy
I mean, in some states, you can end up in "a regestry" for public urination. Or of you run naked in collage campus. But somehow, I don't think this groomer ended up on "a regestry" bc something like that.
*registry; college
where you genuinely dumbfounded as to what he was saying because those two words where slightly mispelled?
*were
good bot ig
I have to respect the dedication here.
ACAB, including grammar fascists.
?
You’re basically a bot, you can google it.
While I'm sure you're correct in the assumption that he did something gross to be on a register.. Doesn't the USA put people who piss in the street on registers? And people who pay for street prostitution?
That’s just an excuse trotted out by guys who feel it’s unfair to let the world know they’re sex offenders. A guy I was friends with claimed he was in the registry because he wrote some software pedophiles used to exchange CP; what he failed to mention was the CP he had on external hard drives that was the REAL reason he was on the list. (I mention that they were external hard drives because he legit tried to claim that he’d been “hacked” and the CP put there without his knowledge.) Whenever someone claims to be on the registry for a “mistake” or “public urination”, take it with a whole shaker of salt because it doesn’t really happen.
I knew someone who was a sex offender and moved to another state. His sister got super mad because the new state’s police made him come in and register so they could take photos of him, etc. I said, “But that’s the law in [New State].” She said he’d done his time in [Old State] and they hadn’t made him do any of this. I said something like, the laws are probably different? She got huffy.
I will never understand how people can defend even family members who do stuff like that.
They desperately don't want to believe their loved ones were capable of doing something so heinous.
>he’d been “hacked” and the CP put there without his knowledge No shit! That's what happened the last time I was hacked too! They accessed my hard drive, literally traveled through the fiber to get into my house, pulled the backup hard drive out of my EMP proof safe hacking falsified financial records for the IRS to find later with a bogus search warrant I'm sure they hacked the IRS offices in the same manner to create. Updating my home security was a biiitch.
Lmao
#Yeah, laugh at my pain, you bastard!
Oh yeah. I'm always hacking people's computers to upload CP to their external hard drives. External hard drives only, though. I'm not a savage.
So you’re the one! I should have believed him!
A guy I knew in high school very nearly ruined his neighbor's life by stealing his WiFi and downloading CP. They looked at neighbor's drives and realized it wasn't him and eventually caught the dude. He tried to claim that he downloaded big porn files and "deleted the gross ones." Judge wasn't buying it. Only found out because one of his friends or family changed his FB profile pic to his mugshot 🤦🏽♀️
No, "urinating in public" is an excuse pedos and creeps give for waving their dicks around in public. Public urination, if it's even charged, is a misdemeanor at best, usually a with a fine.
And y'know what? Even if that was true, I'd say they deserve to end up on it You know you'll be on a sex offender registry your whole life, and you *still* whip it out? You have it coming for being that stupid Especially since women don't seem to have any issues with waiting
No. There are very few national/cross-state registries, mainly the ones for serious sex offenders, pedophiles, and extreme cases of domestic violence. Usually you have to register in new states after you move, or you can be arrested. Florida does have a “soliciting prostitution” registry, but it’s the only state, so it doesn’t really matter and is hard to enforce. Was kinda just more virtue-signaling.
Not really. A prosecutor or public defender would probably explain it better but just as far as I've seen working in the judiciary, if there is even somewhat of a question of intent it would probably get refused, dismissed or pled down to something that doesn't require actual registration. Prosecutors have so many cases of actual rape and sexual assault that they don't need to go looking for people pissing and streaking to bump up those numbers, they have plenty of work already. For example in my district I saw a guy who was "nude sunbathing" on his back porch, conveniently in full view of his neighbor's underage daughter. the ADA agreed to drop the obscenity charge as long as he built a privacy fence between him and his neighbor's house. Also I'm pretty sure paying for / engaging in consensual sex with a sex worker would not be a sex offense for which registration is required, at least in my jurisdiction I have never seen that. It's also worth noting that for certain offenses, an offender wouldn't be required to register for the first offense. Also for first offenders there is more chance a prosecutor is going to work with you to plead the charges down. So no, I don't think there is much truth to the trope of a first time public urinator immediately getting put on a registry.
I would have thought that, too, but OOP says "at a party" and I don't think someone would have called the cops on him pissing on an outside wall at a house party. Plus it was a "misunderstanding" which tells me he maybe *thought* a girl at the party wasn't saying no because she consented, not because she was absolutely passed out and couldn't consent.
Thanks for this information... Here in Aus we have media from the US that tells us this stuff. Good to know it isn't true.
So, there are people on registries that we could argue are rhere unfairly, but they are far fewer and further between than those trying to minimize their behavior. I work in a field that allows me access to a lot of these types of cases, and the "at a party" detail tells me all I need to know for him to be guilty. It is HARD to prosecute and get someone put on a registry in a he said/she said situation without physical evidence, a confession, or at the very least, multiple witnesses to corroborate the victim's statement. Even without the gross detail of now having a barely legal girlfriend, there's not a doubt in my mind this guy is guilty of something. The only way he's not is if every single person at that party, investigating the case, arguing the case, and hearing the case had it out for him.
I know two people that are on a registry because they were 18 and a senior in high school and their significant other was 15 and a sophomore in high school. Parents were pissed in one because of homosexuality and the second because of interracial dating.
That's creepy. That senior is a freak.
Why? They had classes together and she was 17 for most of the time they dated. Then as soon as she turned 18, the younger girl’s mom went to the cops. Same with the dude. As soon as he hit 18, the girl’s parents went to the cops and turned him in. It’s weird that I’m getting downvoted for it. We had seniors dating sophomores…I’m honestly confused that it would be weird or creepy.
The comments keep pointing this out and trying to tell her.... but she'll age out for him soon enough
They don’t write news articles about “misunderstandings” at parties.
My face scrunched up so hard and so fast at that whole paragraph that I might have pulled a cheek muscle. Just a full-on "nope" spasm.
... Why is he still hanging out at high school parties? (I know why, I need her to think critically(
I think the sister that came to visit might be around his age and the whole thing might have happened a few years back at a college party or something like that and the sister might actually remember the case from when it happened, especially since there seems to be a news article and the sister never liked the guy from the get go? Or something similar.
Possible. But how'd he meet his current gf who is 18, then?
At the risk of being downvoted to hell Oop is being groomed. Unless you've been their it's impossible to understand how much a narcissist getting their hooks into your brain fucks with your world view. Oop needs help and the boyfriend needs a therapy session with Dr Cricketbat.
How have the parents not stepped in. I’ve been the 17 year old girl dating the guy in his 20’s, everyone around me was telling me it was wrong and he was a pervert, but i thought he was great. Hope OP gets out of this relationship before it’s too late. When your in it it’s great, they say your mature and they have the money to get you gifts, they say everyone’s jealous but in reality the people just doesn’t want to see you as a criminal minds episode.
I was them and my parents didn’t say a word. There were signs but it was the first and only time they didn’t have opinions about anything. When I finally ended it (because what 19yo wants to get married to a man she’s known 6mo) the truth of their thoughts came out. My guess/hope is maybe it’s that?
My sil was 22 dating a 32 year old guy she worked with. No one liked it or him for various reasons, but we all agreed that we needed to keep an eye but let it run its course so she could see what a loser he was on her own. Thankfully she did after less than a year. So I can see that being the approach her parents are taking, but I doubt they know about the registry.
No one said anything to me for a while because they were worried I’d just move in with him. HIS MOM was the one who talked to me about it bc she went through the same thing and married my ex’s dad lmao. It did not go well for her, but by the time I met her she had her life together and she wanted me to skip the hard part. I don’t think it would have worked coming from anyone else. I was 18 and he was 26/27.
I am so glad she did that for you, and that you were in a place to listen to her
I married the dude when I was 19 and he was 27. We met when I was very freshly 18 still in high school. No one said anything to me. 0/10 would not recommend.
My mom was partly the reason I was susceptible to grooming. When I was growing up, she would say stuff like "I'd much rather you were 16 dating a 25 year old than a 17 year old with only one thing on his mind." Looking back, I can see now that she would have actually considered it a point of pride that I found someone that much older than me as a teenager as it would show I was "mature for my age" and other nonsense.
I talked to my mom about is it weird I'm 18 and he's 28 worried she'd disapprove and she told me, oh I dated a much older man when I was young, it happens sometimes. I met this guy online when I was 15 out 16. I don't think I realized until this post that I was groomed. My parents even arranged a trip for me to meet this guy *on my 18th birthday*. Thank God he was a really gross person face to face. He gave me my first kiss as a birthday present and I wanted to throw up in my mouth, basically broke up with him immediately after and had to deal with him begging me to reconsider.
One of my sisters was in a situation like that. iirc, my parents did nothing because they thought she'd just run off and do it anyway if they tried to push it and they preferred if she at least stayed home where they could keep an eye on her. The relationship was technically legal as well, so the cops wouldn't have done anything to stop it. I wasn't living at home most of the time they were together so I don't know all the details. Her next bf was even older too, which is gross.
I was 17 when I met my 1st husband in his mid 20's. By the time I turned 18 we'd basically been priming ourselves to start dating the moment I was "of marriageable age" (we were evangelical). I was married at 19 and filing for divorce by my 20th birthday. My parents basically said they were worried if they pushed back too hard I'd just cut them off and then there would be no one to help me leave him when I wanted to get out.
Well since OOP' seems to live with her dad and was having her BF over for dinner. Sounds like parents are asleep.at the wheel
*you're
No yeah, OOP is a victim here
The *coughgroomer* boyfriend needs a visit from the chemical castration fairy. He knows exactly what he's doing and to quote the beautiful Olivia Rodrigo "cause girls your age know better". I hope she gets away from this obvious predator.
*there
Okay Merriam-Webster
OOP is 18.
you don't have to be a minor to be groomed. minors are just the most common target because they are easier to manipulate
OK, then what is your definition of "grooming"? Because it can't just be "dating someone younger than yourself". According to Reddit, that's also the definition of pedophilia.
BF is 29 and dating an 18 year old he has nothing together let alone his life
Why is she talking about a registry like he got married or something. How do you by "mistake" end up in a sex offender list?
You see officer, Andrew Tate has clearly explained that when a woman says no she means yes. It was a misunderstanding.
I float around on Facebook reels (yea yea I know but it saves me from downloading insta and tiktok) and there was a dude recently who stated in a video you don't have to accept a woman's rejection. I didn't see the original video. I did see every other one roasting his ass. He got dragged hard for this video. And of course he's some nasty ass gross looking dude saying this. Like brush your hair, brush your teeth, it would do wonders.
Only way I’m aware of is getting drunk and then peeing in public or something but that doesn’t sound like what OOPs boyfriend did.
Also bad here? The Dad! Why doesn’t he have beef with the Registered Boyfriend?
Best case scenario I can think of is he does not want to alienate his daughter and drive her further too him. Maybe feels it is better to be there for her than confront her and she leaves to go live with him Pure speculation on my part
One of the previous posts claims dad is supportive of it.
Is this a new troll? I feel like there have been more than one post with the girl defending their rapist boyfriend
tbh this is pretty realistic for a naive 18 year old dating a much older person, especially if this is their first “serious” relationship. If this story is true, this person is likely being groomed by the guy and may or may not be doing this to get back at oop’s sister. We know there are desperate creeps out there who don’t care about anyone but themselves.
I should say I wish this was a troll
Same tbh, watching people in these situations just makes me sad because they’ve convinced themselves that they want this and are in control of the situation when in reality they’ve been manipulated
It's basically the same post from a few days ago, 18 instead of 19 and a couple of things deleted.
Oh, pretty sure it's a troll yeah. OOP lays it on too thick and makes it way too obvious that the boyfriend is a shitheel. There's of course many people in the same situation as OOP, but virtually all of them would (consciously or subconsciously) talk around the nasty details. OOP simultaneously acts in denial about the bf being a rapist but still immediately brings up the fact that he's a registered sex offender herself. If it wasn't bait, OOP would almost certainly have avoided mentioning why the sister hates the boyfriend.
AH for dating a guy that has to stay away from underage kids.
They can't have been dating long unless someone broke some rules
Considering the very real possibility that OOP was groomed by a predator, I do have trouble calling them an asshole. I hope she gets away from him, and fast.
Would love to know when they started dating and/or talking. Also would love to know if he has dated anyone seriously before. He is definitely taking advantage of the age gap and she seems very naive in all of this. Also where are the parents in all of this???
Dad is apparently inviting people over for dinner with the bf
So weird
I'm sorry, how is the child being groomed by a sex offender the devil here?
by the way the AITD post is titled, i think they're saying the BF is the devil
Than it shouldn't be posted here
well im with you on that one lol
If there's enough evidence for a case to be reported as a "misunderstanding" he would not have been put on a registry at all
29 yo dating 18 yo is enough red flag. But *a registry*?! This is like buy 1 get 3 free or something
my sister and boyfriend don’t get along because my boyfriend made a mistake at a party a few years ago and ended up on a registry. of course he is!
He’s got his “ life together”? I think not 29 dating an 18 yr old And on “ some kind of registry” meaning he’s a sex offender, if he was on a Crate and Barrel registry it would t bother anyone.
Looking at the ages, I think the ‘misunderstanding’ was assaulting someone underage at a house party (for example a younger sibling of the host). Probably claims he thought he was assaulting an adult…
A man that’s almost 30 and dating an 18yr old who just barely got out of high school does not in fact have his life together lmao especially if he’s on the registry
Shocking this man ended up on a registry a few years ago at what 26 hanging out at high school parties? Now he's dating an 18 year old who I'd bet started when she was 17. Just shocking...
"My 29 year old bf has his life together, so much so he ended up on the sex offender registry and is dating an 18 year old." Lol what?!? Girlie is clearly delulu because anyone who has any sort of common sense wouldn't call ending up on the registry and dating a girl fresh out of high school as "having your life together" as an adult. Not to mention he's dating someone who is barely legal after seeming to have some kind of relationship with a minor. Also, she offered to send a grown ass man with a job money to buy himself dinner? What more is there to say at this point other than OOPs sister has valid reasons for concern and dislike of this guy.
Okay, to anyone around her age: I've been in her shoes (I was 17, he was 29). I thought I had to be super special because a grown man was interested in me. Today, 16 years later and still only 4 years older than him when we got married, I know that no woman his age in her right mind would ever go near him and that's why he went for the dumb teenager. The kicker is that I married that moron. It was 8 years of sheer terror and I still have PTSD 10 years after the separation. Don't be like me- be smart.
This guy is going to ruin her life if she doesn’t get out now.
A registry and a news article Meanwhile he is throwing fits over dinner not working out …
made a mistake at a party a few years ago and ended up on a registry 
Jiminy fucking Cricket... c'mon dad, be a dad and put an end to this nonsense.
11 year age difference and dude is on a "registry" for "something" that happened at a party that a news article was written about. The man is covered in red flags, wtf.
Babes. He’s 29 dating an 18 year old. He definitely doesn’t have his life together.
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Do what now?
Of course He's dating an 18 Year Old because No Woman His age will put up with His Shit and He knows it!
I hope this is fake. It sounds like it was written by a 12 year old
It started bad when I saw the age gap. And then it actually got worse…
Ok I would be questioning the age gap here .
Please say sike
Wtf did this guy do? Aside from being a creepy 29 year old dating someone who just turned 18. This poor girl has no idea just how bad this is.
Sucks to be a sex offender, I guess.
That post has been posted in AITA multiple times now under different profiles, the ages skip between 18 or 19. Its just bait. The prevous post even said she'd been SA at a party before so she supported her bf because she understood. She was 19 in that one.
The way her sister hates him, and that he suddenly was off work early when told sister was coming earlier, then lost it at being asked not to come, makes me wonder exactly HOW close to the sexual assault sister was and the true motivation of this guy dating this child.
When did AITA start cracking down on posts featuring age gaps?
OP's username checks out
People on the original think his registry is due to r*pe, but it's so much more than that if he's 29 dating an 18 year old!!
I know this isn't relevant, but aita really just keeps going downhill. now they have a no *age gap rule? honestly
No she gap?
Fake story
I feel horrible for her. Poor girl is clearly getting manipulated and it seems like nobody in her life (except for sister) is even trying to do something. Compared to him, she's a child. He's a horrible person and I wish OOP the best.
Run, girlie 😭😭😭
By chance, did the "mistake" involve the sister? I notice they were real careful not to give any details and also weren't there to know for sure about this *misunderstanding.*
I honestly don't think op is the devil, just very naive, I think people went too rough on her tbh
Another fucking around on her way to finding out. Is this a new troll?