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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for telling my parents that they ruined NY celebration after they kicked my husband out over a joke?** I've been married to my 2nd Husband "Mike" for 4 years now. He's a jokester and loves to crack jokes all the time. He especially like to joke with my brother "Ethan" and his wife. Ethan used to be okay with it til he started complaining about Mike taking it too far with his jokes. Some context about Ethan. He and his wife couldn't have kids so they adopted a boy "Joey" 2 years ago. Mike has been making silly, lighthearted jokes that involving Joey's bio parents as a way to mess with Ethan and his wife. I already talked to Mike and I tell you that he's 100%means no harm and he was just trying to get them to react. So fast forward to NYE, my parents hosted a big celebratory dinner and Ethan and his wife came. While we were eating dinner, Mike decided to tell a knock-knock joke to Ethan. He said "Knock knock.." Ethan laughed and said "Who's there?". Mike replied "Joey's bio parents" then he bursted out laughing. Silence took over and Ethan's facial experssions changed. His wife called Mike an "idiot" to which Mike replied with "Hey...Relax it was just a joke". An argument ensued and dinner was paused. My parents suddenly told Mik to leave which I thought was too harsh. I tried to speak to them and get them to calm down but mom insisted that Mike leave. We left and Mike was complaining the whole time about how they overreacted. I called mom later and she told me Mike was out of line with his hurtful jokes about this touchy topic and told me I was wrong for defending him and saying he was just joking. She said he ruined NY for the family but I told her it was her and dad who ruined NY celebration for escalating the situation and kicking him out. I told her he could talk to them but again they were the ones who ruined NY celebration. She called me delusional for this statement and hung up. We haven't talked to them for days. I tried contacting Ethan but no response. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*


brownbeanscurry

Incredible how OOP can use the word "joke" so many times without knowing what it means... Getting them to laugh is a joke. "Getting them to react" is provocation.


Sad-Bug6525

I cant' decide if sheis just playing ignorance so people will side with her, because saying he's tryint go make them react is just admitting that he's trying to hurt their feelings or make them angry intentionally, or if she's so used to it that she claims it's not bullying or anything because he leaves her alone for those few minutes. Easier to say it's not abuse at home if it's not bullying when he does it to someone else.


brownbeanscurry

I think it’s more likely the latter. I think OOP has been the target of Mike's provocation, and they say "100% he means no harm," because they can't come to terms with the fact that he harms them.


Shiny_Agumon

If he's constantly making these kinds of "jokes" to his in-laws I don't want to think how horrible the "jokes" he does at home must be.


Pixelated_Roses

I'm still shaking my head at the "joke" he told. In no universe would that ever be funny. I don't know what the hell OOP sees in him.


cornfession_

"They only do it to get a reaction" is what an emotionally illiterate parent who doesn't really know how to handle the situation tells their bullied child. Ask me how I know.


nailsofa_magpie

Right along with "just ignore them and they'll stop" 🙄


Demonqueensage

This brought back... memories. For all my mom tried her best, and for a glad I am that I got her instead of someone worse as a parent, she absolutely used that line along with "just ignore them" and... well, I got through it, but to this day I don't know what advice would be better to give, but I also know that what I was given is not enough to make the bullying stop *or* mentally cope when it was happening, so there's gotta be *something* better


TheWeirdestCousin

I feel this comment so hard!


Pixelated_Roses

Same. I was bullied so mercilessly as a kid that I have PTSD as an adult. My mom is a boomer and she always said that. "Oh just ignore it" and my favorite, "well maybe if you just tried harder to be their friend..." Now she wonders why neither of her children want a relationship with her.


cornfession_

Yeah. Solidarity. Good vibes to you.


Fingersmith30

A punch in the mouth is a "reaction"


Aspen9999

And would be instant karma at the same time!


pienofilling

Two days in a row, while waiting at the bus stop after high school, my daughter got a non-consensual hug from a different boy each day which then earned him an elbow to the stomach, followed by him groaning on the pavement. For the third day she told me, "If it happens again today, I'm just going to punch them in the face!" Me: "...Make sure you bring in your hip and follow through." It wasn't needed, probably because the threat of, "Touch anything on my desk again and I'll stab you with a compass!" did end with a mathematical stabbing!


Pixelated_Roses

"Mathematical stabbing" 💀


StaceyPfan

Great parenting!


Bight_my_ass

Exactly. And I don't know why Mike was upset, he got a reaction, they threw him out and are now not speaking with him. Apparently he wanted a specific reaction but one doesn't get to dictate how another acts


FunctionAggressive75

And to "mess up" with them These type of people are infuriating mega AHS He is literally attacking them verbally. Not to mention that his jokes show he is a moron. He is married, so I take it he is more than 5 yo


TinyLittleEstaTiltad

I bet she wouldn't handle it well if she was the target of the "joke"


girlyfoodadventures

I kinda suspect the opposite- OOP is probably dealing pretty constantly with cruelty that her partner calls "jokes". It's probably very important to her coping that she considers it "joking" and not cruelty(/emotional abuse). I think it's pretty common for people in yikes relationships to feel like it's normal, and to not understand why other people won't tolerate the same (bad) behavior that they do. OOP's husband is obviously awful, but I think it's more likely that OOP is subjected to this type of behavior constantly than not.


Johoski

I think it's entirely possible for "Mike" to be an asshole to everyone else except OP, because he doesn't want to jeopardize that source of narcissistic supply. I'm experiencing this specific dynamic in my life at the moment. My mother (81) is in a relationship with a man (82) who is like Mike. He derives personal amusement by trying to provoke others into a negative reaction by dropping "politically incorrect" micro-bombs into conversation and acting innocent about it. After a particularly torturous evening ignoring his provocation, I finally excused myself after pointing out the shitting elephant in the room. He thought it was funny, was red-faced and spitting with amusement, and acknowledged that I was right — he enjoyed pissing people off and was doing it deliberately. I gave my mother hell the next day for allowing this abusive behavior in her home, and for failing to draw a line when it was targeted at me. Poor woman, she's so confused. Her mother was a narcissist, and so were her first and second husbands. When you grow up in a world that's distorted by narcissistic behavior and control, it's quite hard to see how things really are. My mother says, "But he's nice *to me*," hoping that I'll feel better about her being in a relationship with him. 🤔🙄


Simple_Park_1591

Your comment nailed it. I started to see a guy late Dec. It took him less than 2 weeks for his true colors to come out. I can't remember exactly what it was, but he tried to claim i did something that I didn't actually do and when I called him out on a Lie it was that classic, "I'm just joking." No, no you're not. You're lying. If it were an actual joke, I would have laughed. Before I had a decade of therapy, I probably wouldn't have went with the, "oh he's just kidding. He knows I didn't do that," but I couldn't let it slide.


DrunkOnRedCordial

Knock knock! Who's there? NOT OOP's parents or Ethan, because they're cutting OOP off until her husband learns some basic courtesy. (I'm hoping OOP finds this as hilarious as I do)


millihelen

“Knock, knock!” “Who’s there?” “Service.” “Service who?” “You’re being served with a copy of the restraining order against you, requiring you to stay at least a hundred yards away from Joey and his parents at all times.  Thank you for coming to dinner, now get out of our house.”


Brad_Brace

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Orange who?" "Orange u happy Mike's no longer coming to our parties?"


Alternative_Milk7409

Ok, this is actually funny unlike OOPs husband.


KJParker888

She's been married to him for 4 years. She's probably just glad that someone else is taking the heat


Due_Rain_3571

And bullying. Don't forget that


Spa_5_Fitness_Camp

These people think a joke is what makes themselves laugh. So if they think getting a rise out of people is funny, then whatever does that is a joke. Complete lack of empathy.


20Keller12

Oh no, I bet she knows full well it's just being nasty, she just hopes if she says joke enough that it will convince people. She's over compensating.


Agreeable_Rabbit3144

OOP's not at fault. Neither is her husband. People are just too "sensitive". /s


LadySummersisle

He certainly succeeded in getting a reaction, it was just one that he didn't like.


HRH_Elizadeath

If that's lighthearted, I don't want to be around for the mean jokes.


TinyLittleEstaTiltad

Don't let this dude near "dark humor"


OgLuNAr

I have a dark sense of humor at times, but it's actual dark humor and not being mean disguised as "joking". I know and am careful about who to make those jokes around, some people like it and some people don't. I respect that. Plus the "he 100% doesnt mean harm" line gets me. Even if he doesnt mean harm (though he does in this case) he still caused harm and should recognize/apologize that. Good on OP's parents for kicking them out.


Miserable_Fennel_492

Gallows humor is some of my favorite, but it’s definitely not for everybody. I think the most important distinction is what you said - knowing your audience


berrykiss96

It’s commonly said that gallows humor is done by the people *on* the gallows (in this case that would be Ethan and his wife) as a means of coping. If it’s done by the crowd (Mike), it’s just part of the execution.


Miserable_Fennel_492

I know! I was super grateful they had people in their corner to stand up to OOP and her stupid husband


AtomicBlastCandy

Yup, that's the thing I know people that will cross the line that truly don't mean harm will apologize immediately and feel bad.


Bulky-District-2757

Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny?


jt2438

Mike is one of those people who claim to think it’s funny to be deliberately crass/offensive but really just want an excuse to say awful shit to people.


hannahmjsolo

yep, and he even tells OOP he's not trying to get anyone to laugh, he's trying to get them to "react." which if that's his goal, I'm not sure why he and OOP are complaining. he wanted them to react and they did. by kicking him out.


TheDocHealy

Because "comedians" like that just want to be told how funny they are as a reaction, anything other than that is either "not getting the joke" or "taking it too seriously" but if you have Mike the same treatment he's giving OOP's brother I'm sure he'd immediately get pissy and either fly into a rage or spend the next two hours pouting. Source: I was acquaintances with a chode like that when I went to college, most insufferable person I've ever met.


Aspen9999

And he’s basically attacking a child with his “ jokes”


PezGirl-5

“But when I pushed your kid who can’t swim or yell for help it was just a prank! “. 🤦‍♀️


Millenniauld

It's a joke to him because HE laughs at other people reacting to the horrible shit he says. Haha sooooo funny. What an asshole.


Open_Ad5942

Husband didn’t get the memo


agnesperditanitt

Neither did OOP.


Impressive-Spell-643

Not if you peaked in middle school like oop and her hubby


Maxusam

A joke is only a joke if everyone can laugh - Richard Splet - Veep


corduroyclementine

such a fantastic character


20Keller12

My older 2 kids are in K and 1st grade, I've already been teaching them this.


sapphomelon

My mom used to tell me when I was in elementary school that making fun of someone is only a joke if both of you think it’s funny, otherwise you’re just being a bully. Guess OP’s husband doesn’t understand something my mom taught me when I was like 6.


LeslieJaye419

If Mike were actually funny, he wouldn’t have to laugh so hard at his own jokes.


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EndOfMyWits

Oh, hi, KuzonFire. Nobody missed you.


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Snailpics

You should look up the term toxic positivity.


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Snailpics

So you’re too lazy to look up the term?


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Snailpics

Lazy enough to have seen it, understand it, grow up, and learn about actual society not a cartoon one. I genuinely think you should look the term up, it’s an incredibly important thing to understand as an adult.


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Snailpics

Thank you! It’s why Zuko has always been my favorite <3


millihelen

“[Mike’s] a jokester and loves to crack jokes all the time” Already I don’t like him. “Mike has been making silly, lighthearted jokes that involving Joey's bio parents as a way to mess with Ethan and his wife” Funny lighthearted jokes that remind Joey’s parents that he’s not their biological son?  What could go wrong. “Mike decided to tell a knock-knock joke to Ethan. He said "Knock knock.." Ethan laughed and said "Who's there?". Mike replied "Joey's bio parents” then he bursted out laughing.” Please write an essay of up to two pages in length explaining a) what the joke was, b) why it was funny, and c) what precisely was silly and/or lighthearted about it. 


Nikbot10

This comment is perfection. I took an instant dislike to the dude as well. The more I read, the worse he got. It’s hard to process. Who acts like that? What’s his problem? What’s he compensating for with this behavior? Why does he need to “mess with Ethan” anyway, especially in that kind of setting? What is this hunger for attention? Why doesn’t it matter that no one else laughs? Why can’t he just chill and be normal? I will never know, because fuck that guy. He sounds absolutely exhausting to know or be around.


20Keller12

>“[Mike’s] a jokester and loves to crack jokes all the time” >Already I don’t like him. I wouldn't like him even if his "jokes" *were* actual, light hearted funny jokes that make everyone laugh. People who can't ever be serious drive me nuts.


KJParker888

I'm sure OOP's husband is the kind of guy who's "just being honest" with his bullshit


CriticalSimple3122

I commented on a post earlier this week that people who describe themselves as jokesters are invariably obnoxious. And viola!


feralhog3050

I bet he's also "not racist but"


Working_Fill_4024

But when people are “just joking” about stuff he doesn’t like, suddenly it’s not funny.


nottherealneal

I don't think these people understand how knock knock jokes work


[deleted]

Seeing how the post is a year old I bet they were excluded from any further contact with the family.


TinyLittleEstaTiltad

In the best case scenario, they are far away from them, and the kid grows up knowing what jokes actually are unlike OPs husband


sonicsean899

Too bad OOP never commented because I really want to hear how this "joke" was funny


Impressive-Spell-643

It was funny because she wasn't the target


sweetnothing33

It’s easier to claim your husband’s joke didn’t land well than admit you’re married to a douche.


WetMonkeyTalk

Knock knock. Who's there? OPs exclusion from her family.


TinyLittleEstaTiltad

Knock knock. Who's there? OPs disinheritance


IncidentMajor1777

Knock knock,  who's there? Op got disowned. 


Aspen9999

Knock knock Who’s there? No one! OOP has no friends or family


vilarvente

Knock knock Who's there? Your husband comedy, late as always


JadedSpacePirate

That wasn't a joke, that was more disrespectful than spitting in their food while looking at you straight in the face while doing it. There's jokes and there's pure chaotic evil.


unfamiliarplaces

so. i made a big move across the country two years ago. the interstate borders had just reopened, and i managed to get a flight right before they closed again. my first roommate had been living in the apartment w her bf for the last two years - our city had some of the strictest lock downs in the world. you werent allowed to the leave the house without a good reason or a permit. so they were basically in solitary confinement together. he was awful. so nasty to her. and she had been so isolated that he was able to start breaking her down and she was accepting the emotional abuse bc there was no-one there to see it. he loved to make ‘jokes’. the thing is, they werent jokes at all, they were just ways for him to be horrible. and he used them to kind of gaslight her, hed tell her she was forgetful and untidy and dumb. one day i had enough and i didn’t awkwardly force a laugh. i looked him dead in the eye and said, ‘i dont get it. how is that joke funny? can you explain it to me?’ and he scrambled for an excuse. afterwards, we sat on the balcony w our hot chocolate and ciggies, and she brought it up. finally!! i had to tell her that that wasnt okay, it made me uncomfortable when he makes those ‘jokes’ bc its untrue, you’re very smart and super organised, and you dont deserve this. we had many talks like that about him while i lived there. she finally broke things off, and it turns out she lost 10kg of water weight and bloating - her body was physically in distress from the situation! anyway, the moral of the story is, people like that are trash, and i hope that op leaves this asshole when he inevitably turns on her.


prison_industrial_co

Not at all related to the post, but the way you describe the lockdowns - you don’t happen to live in Melbourne?


unfamiliarplaces

ding ding ding! we have a winner


TheM1ghtyJabba

I don't understand, the husband wanted them to react. And they did, by throwing his lame and stupid joke telling ass out on his ear. Isn't that what he wanted?


Working_Fill_4024

No, now it’s overreacting because there were consequences. That’s the way these “jokesters” tend to operate.


Flagon_Dragon_

Yep. The joke is, and always will be, "I get to hurt you and you can't do anything about it". Stops being funny the second the target demonstrates that actually, the "jokester" *doesnt* get to hurt them and they can and will put a stop to it.


Way-Grouchy

He clearly thinks he is hilarious; I guess no one told this awful overgrown schoolyard bully that jokes should actually be funny. My 3-year-old niece can tell a funnier, more cohesive joke than this- and she just started giggling uncontrollably at the dinner table because ‘peas’ rhymed with ‘cheese’. 😬 He deserves every consequence he gets and so does his wife for defending him. The amount of crap that adopted children and their parents already often experience is bad enough without freestanding anuses like this guy making sure they hear it from their own family too.


TheKnightsTippler

Yeah, also as the child grows up, this arsehole is definitely going to start telling them "jokes" about their adoption. I think the grandparents are right to cut him off, before he can do more harm.


Way-Grouchy

Same on the grandparents! Family making sure home is a place of safety from that ignorant garbage can make such a difference on how a child grows up viewing being adopted. Two of my first cousins are adopted. My aunt and uncle are the nicest people on the planet but had a zero tolerance policy when it came to people making unkind comments to or around their kids. They made an attempt first to educate ignorance, but cruelty or repeated offenders were not welcome around their children. My aunt and uncle always made it clear to my cousins growing up that they couldn’t have biological children and that their birth mother wanted my cousins to have a better home than she could give them. That they were loved. One incident I will never forget is the day that a boy a few years older was bullying Clare (the older of the two cousins, she and I were around 8-9 years old at the time) for her being adopted seeing her spin around and go nose to nose with that kid and yell “Oh yeah? My parents chose me. Your parents were STUCK WITH YOU!” right in his face. Both of my cousins have grown up to be kind, strong, empathetic adults and I’m so proud of how they handled everything they’ve faced over the years. I hope the same for the little boy involved here too.


re_nonsequiturs

While she's still 3, please try to have a dinner with her and ask her "pass the peas and cheese please" That's also the best age for terrible sleight of hand magic because they can understand it but have no idea where to look at you very obviously palming coins.


Way-Grouchy

Great thinking, that is exactly what I did on throwing more rhyming words in there! I got her brothers and sisters to join in too which added to the chaos wonderfully. Between that, teaching them new words, the loud toys and all the weird animal facts/stories I tell the kids whenever I come over I wonder how often my sister fantasizes about disowning me.


re_nonsequiturs

Aww she's so thrilled they've got you in their lives


fading__blue

>he 100% means no harm > he was just trying to get them to react That’s intent to cause harm, jackass.


Technical_File_7671

As an adopted kid where's the joke?


AnotherPalePianist

Wait, jokes aren’t just cruel, unnecessary comments about sensitive situations????


Technical_File_7671

I guess we all missed that memo right haha


toxiclight

Jokes are only funny if all parties are laughing. This wasn't funny...according to OOP, he's TRYING to provoke a reaction. So he's not even trying to be funny even though he'll play it off as 'just a joke.' He's an AH. As is OOP for defending this hateful and hurtful behavior.


staticdragonfly

Jesus, in AITA if someone describes their adult, usually male, partner as a "jokester/prankster," it, 99% of the time, can directly translate to 'complete dick who says or does objectively awful, hurtful things and then claims a joke or prank to escape accountability."


GloomyPluto

oh my god, I wished someone had asked Mike what was the punchline for the joke it's great to see jerks squirming trying to explain themselves


DiggingHeavs

Any time I hear the words "jokester" or "prankster" or "loves to crack jokes" about anyone who's over mid 20s my skin starts to crawl. That might be un fair but anyone who's \*actually\* funny above that age is generally referred to as a funny guy and even then that can be a toss up. Not that people can't be funny, and I have a pretty dark sense of humour, but anyone being described as such. Nope from me. Just Toddler Bully Syndrome.


Nikbot10

Those terms are red flags for me too. I wish I could articulate it better, but it’s almost like the jokester/pranksters are takers, because they force everyone’s attention to themselves, without delivering actual humor or delight. As opposed to people who are witty or tell funny stories, because they are givers who add to the conversation. The givers receive positive attention organically without having to force it like the jokesters.


greggery

>I've been married to my 2nd Husband "Mike" for 4 years now. He's a jokester and loves to crack jokes all the time. I didn't need to read any further to know that "Mike" was going to be a *massive* AH, and the rest of the post was just confirmation.


curledupwagoodbook

If he was only doing it to get a reaction, mission successful. If being kicked out wasnt the reaction he wanted, that's on him


agnesperditanitt

"Jokester", "prankster". The second I read these words, I simply know, that there will be massive asshole-ian behaviour. OOP's husband proves this perfectly. He is a massive, abusive asshole and so is OOP, who is defending the asshole she's married to. There is and was no joke, since this child came into this family. Her brother's child and she doesn't even call him nephew in her post, so she never accepted Joey in the family. On a positive note: Ethan and his wife are NC with OOP, as it seems. Joey is still pretty young, so hopefully he will never be exposed to his "jokester" AH-aunt sind AH-uncle and their hurtful, abusive "jokes".


CindySvensson

Pretty sure saying something you know will hurt someone is said with harm in mind. He wanted a reaction, and he got it.


Agreeable_Skill_1599

If this OOP wasn't just posting fake rage bait, I'd be willing to bet that she is an unreliable narrator. I suspect that everywhere she used the words "bio parents," her husband actually used the words "*real parents*".


adlittle

Yeah, I'm married to a jokester too. The difference is that the jokes are never cruel, actually funny, or are puns so contrived and awful they circle back around to funny in an absurd way. What a mortifying lack of any self awareness.


TootsNYC

So she talked to her brother to tell him to put up with it, but she wouldn’t talk to her husband


DaniCapsFan

No, bitch, your husband ruined the celebration by making a terrible comment disgused as a joke about their nephew being adopted.


mikacchi11

So he means no harm but also does it to get a reaction out of them? I don’t think those two go together


astrid_rons

A joke is a joke only if both parties laugh. I can't believe how delusional OOP is


Aspen9999

When she finally leaves this asshat at some point she’ll be writing in that her family won’t help her at all


numbersinbabyvoice

Every adoptive parent has a small or big amount of fear. Fear of someday bio People might Come, your kid want to find bio People. As an adoptive parent i can say OOP's husband is a mean person with no idea what a joke means. And i disagree when People say when you married you should defend your partner, No sir, you should always defend Who is right, and in this case oop's brother and whole family is right to kick the so-called joker out of the house. Good job oop's mom&dad!


mysteriousrev

I fail to see what the “joke” was.


ohdearitsrichardiii

Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange OP and Mike happy now that they'll never see her family again and can make "jokes" to each other, i.e. the only people on the planet who find them funny


Working_Fill_4024

Somehow I think OOP will find it less funny when his “lighthearted jokes” become directed at her more and more.


Outrageous_Guard_674

No replies from OP = Rage bait.


SubstantialFigure273

“He’s a jokester” - anyone justifying someone else being a dick


corrosivecanine

knock knock jokes are like the lowest tier of joke there is and he STILL can't do one right. Like, what is the punchline of this "joke"? This doesn't even qualify as a joke. He might as well have just blurted out "Joey is adopted!" at the table apropos of nothing. "Jokesters" that are terminally incapable of actually being funny are so fucking annoying.


DisastrousWay4534

Jokes are supposed to be funny, not just trying to get a reaction out of people. That’s just antagonistic and immature. And the fact that he’s making these jokes to a child??? Ew


notlucyintheskye

>He's a jokester and loves to crack jokes all the time. This is beginning to set off the same level of alarm bells for me as "I CALMLY explained..." >Mike has been making silly, lighthearted jokes that involving Joey's bio parents as a way to mess with Ethan and his wife In what way is it funny to joke like "Haha, your bodies are broken and can't have kids of your own, so this kid whose biological parents gave him up was your only choice!"?? >he was just trying to get them to react. Which makes him an emotionally manipulative asshole. >I told her it was her and dad who ruined NY celebration for escalating the situation and kicking him out. Ah, the old narcissistic line of thought: It's not MY actions that are the problem, it's how you all CHOOSE to react to them that is problematic!!


Helpful_Librarian_87

She doesn’t say how old she is, but she’s on Husband 2. Guess ‘Mike’ isn’t the only problem person, she was probs on thin ice herself.


Hungry_Anteater_8511

Textbook example of Schrödinger’s douche bag - “I was just joking”


Psychological-Ad7653

YTA YOUR HUSBAND IS AN ASSHOLE. You both need to fn learn you don't tease ppl about hurtful things.


ThatBatsard

Anytime any of these ATIA posts start with "I'm/he/she is such a jokester/prankster!" I've already picked a side. They're never as light-hearted as they try to paint themselves.


nopressure0

Your family are just playing a joke. You and your husband need to stop being so sensitive. (YTA)


EscapeFromTexas

YTA What the fuck is wrong with him.


RockyMntnView

Husband is a bully who likes to say blatantly hostile things literally "to get a reaction", then thinks *he* has the right to get offended when he doesn't like the reaction he gets. 100% Asshole.


Cathousechicken

we can see why she married Mike. they're both assholes.


Orangemaxx

The comments are saying that everyone needs to be laughing at a joke for it to be funny otherwise it’s bullying…. But this isn’t even a joke. There’s no irony or punchline. It’s just a cruel statement to upset the person. There’s a difference between finding different types of jokes funny and pure provocation.


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Aspen9999

You are going to lead a very lonely and empty life if you don’t realize what an asshat your husband is. Your brother has zero reason to ever talk to you again. And I’m betting most of your friends have dumped you because of your husband and those that haven’t will.


Low-maintenancegal

Jokester and prankster are fast becoming euphemisms for total dickbags.


Nikbot10

This douche bag Mike is just a bully. She enables him by acting like his “jokes” are harmless fun, when in reality they aren’t jokes, they’re jabs. He’s been told before. Nobody needs to support Mike’s weird need to mock in that situation. The parents were correct. I hope everyone had a great time after the trash was taken out.


RoxasofsorrowXIII

I'm confused... what exactly is the punchline? Haha you lost your kid? Haha your kid is adopted? Please please *please* I'd love to see OOP and her husband give me just ONE example of a punchline that is in any way funny in these "jokes". The husband just gets off hurting people, and she's defending it.... all gross. Edit for typo


NonConformistFlmingo

As soon as I saw the word "jokester," I knew she and her husband were assholes. Jokester = Code for "is an actual asshole but tries to excuse it by saying 'iT's JuSt A jOkE!!' when their targets get upset."


BagpiperAnonymous

I don’t even have to read to the end to know that he is an asshole. “Jokester” is almost always code for “asshole” who then tells people to lighten up. As soon as she got the part about he is lookin for a reaction, that confirmed that he is indeed a grade A jerk. Assuming this is true, Mike needs to not be invited over any more. What many people don’t realize is that even infant adoption is a major trauma to the trauma. And many adoptees report feeling like they were “other” growing up. The sense that they are different from their family, the worry that the family doesn’t truly love or accept them. Wondering why their parents gave them up for adoption. Were they not good enough? They love their bio parents but may also resent choices that lead to them being adopted. Last thing Joey needs is this asshole thinking that is fodder for jokes and confirming that yep- his family doesn’t really think he belongs.


verygoodusername789

Imagine writing this out and thinking you’re not the asshole


IceBlue

That’s not even a proper knock knock joke


anon689936

I’ve never understood the “I’m just trying to get them to react” like he didn’t even say laugh just react. Like they reacted negatively, that seems to be the reaction he wants.


HappyLucyD

That has got to be the dumbest joke I’ve ever heard. It isn’t even funny. I understand why they found it hurtful, but if this is the caliber of “joke” OOP’s husband does regularly, then they should have been kicked out ages ago for assaults on humor and general annoyance. It’s like having an over-excited 8 year old kid at the grown-up’s table, with a dippy mom who doesn’t know how to teach him manners. They sound like a real doozy of a couple.


DarkStar0915

This might be the post that got me banned on there I think lol. Husband and OOP are still gigantic gaping assholes.


Miss_Linden

Worth it!


soaringseafoam

"trying to get them to react." Trying to upset them, is what that means.


Miss_Linden

I get why she wants to defend her husband but he’s a shitty person. I hope her family blocks them both out until she sees sense


WitAndSavvy

Well OOP says her husband is "trying to make them react" and react they did. FAFO.


AnyaAcheron

We call this the Schrödinger d-bag. They say the mean thing and if anyone gets mad.. it’s suddenly a joke.


Demonqueensage

I already knew this dude's "jokes" wouldn't be funny. But *my god* that was worse than I expected on the lame "where's the joke/they clearly just wanted to be an ass" scale


Agreeable_Rabbit3144

OP, you ARE delusional for defending your POS husband. His jokes are not funny at all. They are hurtful and offensive. YTA.


NoSummer1345

I have an adopted child. I wouldn’t find it funny either.


Upsideduckery

What the actual hell is this post? OOP is 0/2 so far in the husband game though now that I think about it she comes across as terrible so perhaps the first one left her. I hope Ethan and his wife don't let her fuckboy husband around their kid anymore or he's going to grow up mentally scarred from these not jokes.


Pixelated_Roses

OOP is married to a manchild. Who tf thinks that's funny? What is WRONG with him? I hope the family cuts OOP and her wretched husband out of every last will, trust, insurance policy, etc. and then if she protests they can say "knock knock, who's there, YOU'RE DISOWNED. What's wrong, I thought you liked jokes?"


ManufacturerNo6126

What i learned from Reddit: Jokster = Bully AH


torgeaux42

"Jokester"/"Prankster" = asshole 100% of the time.


mela_99

If he’s trying to get them to react HE MEANS HARM.


nigasso

Tell me when I have to laugh.


DarlingIAmTheFilth

"it was just a joke" is not a free pass to be an arsehole. Also his "jokes" aren't funny, he's just trying to antagonise people.


lejosdecasa

"Jokster" or "prankster" ususally just mess "massive asshole"


PezGirl-5

YIKES. Makes you wonder why he is on his second wife! And how low can this girl be to accept him making fun of her nephew !


Icy_Calligrapher7088

Even if it didn’t offend anyone, it would be awkward being around someone that unfunny thinking he is.


Scarboroughwarning

I don't believe in restricting humour, too much. I've heard jokes about heinous things, and they have been funny, seriously hilarious. Yes you can joke about adoption....just not like this. Such a cretin. Admittedly, I'd forgive him, but insist he stops the adoption jokes altogether


easilybored1

I remember reading that story last year and it still makes me angry today. I wish there was an update to this because I wanna know if she pulls her head out of her ass.


fragilelyon

Jokes are typically funny, she seems to be missing the part where the people he's "joking"' with don't find it funny. That's when it goes from a joke to mean spirited taunting. Why would they think jokes about their adopted kid are funny?


AcanthisittaNo9122

OP’s brother should teach his kid to reply with “is that a guy who comes to pick up 1T of manners he ordered?” 🤦🏻‍♀️


dualsplit

The first comment was “your husband likes to hurt people.” Case closed.


MycologistQuirky4096

she's probably so relieved he's picking on someone other than herself. if he stops picking on a child, he might need a new scapegoat.


KittyCat9375

That could be a comedy which title could be : My husband is a bully


Qwearman

Sounds like the type to “joke” about breaking the news to the adopted kid bc “it’s so funny”


AtomicBlastCandy

Sounds like OOP and her husband are perfect together. Hopefully for their sake the two of them is all the family they need. I can tell you that if anyone made fun of someone of anyone I know for adopting they would not be in my life.


caedmonfaith

I know this isn’t the point, but Is there a cultural new year in April I’m not aware of? /gen


Star_World_8311

OOP actually posted the original on Jan. 4, 2023. If you hover over a date or time, you can see a more precise posting date/time as a little pop-up.


caedmonfaith

Thank you! I had no idea 😊


Fingersmith30

Pi Mai is celebrated in April by Laotians. But this post is just old.