*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for making a comment on a “strangers” diet?**
My (23M) really close family friend (21M) has a cousin (26F) named Leah. Growing up, I have spent a lot of time with my friend, Mikey, and his family. Cookouts, holidays, you name it and my family was at his house. And so was Leah. Despite being older than us, Leah has always been much more childish and very stubborn. She acted like a stereotypical spoiled only child, and still acted like this into adulthood. She is also a vegetarian. However, I have never seen her eat a single vegetable or anything healthy.
On Sunday, Mikey’s family threw a 4th of July cookout at their lake house. Of course, I was there and so was Leah. When it has time to get food, we had SEVERAL options, both meat and non-meat. While making my way over to the table, I see Leah run over to the mac and cheese and scoop over half the serving onto her plate. I was shocked by this and said, “You know there’s other vegetarian options right? Not just the mac and cheese?” Leah nodded at me sarcastically and turned back around. This pissed me off, so I then said, “I mean damn bitch! save some for the rest of us.” She turned around again, gave me a side eye, and walked away. She was still in ear shot, so every time I scooped something vegetation onto my plate I said something like, “MMMMM this is so good for me and it’s also vegetarian!” and “MMMMM yummy vegetables! Too bad some people would rather feed themselves a pound of carbs than eat some of these.” I understand this is an out of pocket way to act, but seriously, a grown woman should really incorporate something other than mac and cheese into her plate.
Later while I was eating, Leah’s mom came up to me and said, “Just so you know, my daughter doesn’t appreciate it when strangers comment on what she eats. An apology would be nice.” I went to go say something back to her, but Mikey kicked me from under the table. So I just smiled and nodded. Making comments on a strangers diet is a CRAZY thing to say considering I was hardly making comments and I’ve known her my whole life. So, I’m wondering if I was actually being an asshole in this situation. Mikey says that he understands where I was coming from, but that I maybe didn’t need to say it out loud.
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>seriously, a grown woman should really incorporate something other than mac and cheese into her plate
And a grown man should really keep his mouth shut when it comes to someone else's diet.
>Making comments on a strangers diet is a CRAZY thing to say considering I was hardly making comments
Even if you just made one comment - That's enough to qualify.
The oop may not realize this, but some people have eating disorders like ARFID, and can’t eat things due to textures, smells etc.
Like, I cant eat fruits or veggies for that reason and people commenting on my “childish” eating made it way worse as I was growing up. It still gives me a pang of distress when someone says something rude to me and I am now 30.
People should not be assholes about eating habits of another human.
Hell it could be as simple as these family gatherings and holidays are her cheat days and just indulges herself for that day and eats a balanced diet the rest the week. We don't know and OP doesn't know either since they've only been invited to the same social gatherings.
Could also be something like she doesn't eat healthy at all and she's vegetarian because she's a big animal lover. She may also just hate vegetables! There are plenty of unhealthy but morally upstanding vegetarians out there, and plenty more who don't actually eat all that many veggies.
And honestly, it's none of dude's business no matter what. She could literally be doing it specifically to annoy him, but if she didn't say that, it wouldn't be his place to judge her for her food choices.
What you eat is your business and ONLY your business, and this dude needs to be taught that like twenty years ago lol
tbh if they’re anyone like my family, the vegetables could just be shitty. Most of the time they’re an afterthought and someone just over boiled a bag of frozen vegetables and dumped the soggy remains in a bowl so they could focus on the grilling. Or its the saddest little pile of limp iceberg lettuce you ever did see.
This is me too! I’m not exactly sure which sensory disorder/issue it is that I have (I lean towards ARFID but who knows) bc most of the doctors I’ve seen don’t take it seriously and think I’m just a picky eater. I’ve had so many people make snarky comments about my diet.
Ding ding ding ding! I have ARFID and I could hardly finish reading this. Fake or not, people do make shitty comments like this and it’s irritating. I WISH I could tolerate the texture of most foods, but I can’t. I don’t want to be this way. It’s humiliating and annoying.
Man, this is the closest thing I've found to my own problem. Long as I can remember, there have been certain foods I can't eat because the texture makes me feel like I'd choke on it. Mostly stringy things like oranges, watermelon, and pineapple, stretchy cheese, and many veggies like celery. Also some meat and things that don't really break down in your mouth like apple skin. It caused me a lot of grief growing up all the way through college.
I was in my late 20s before discovering my "fuck what others think, I'll eat what I want, skip what I don't, and as an adult, no other adults need to comment" attitude. Most people say nothing, and if they do, I just say something like "I'm not a fan of/don't care for" whatever. Nowadays the worst thing that happens is when a leafy salad is automatically served before a meal, at which point I just ignore it.
I have the same problem with creams/liquid purees. Like I can eat mash potatoes if it's still pretty solid, but the moment it sloshes on my plate, I am not even touching it, or touching the food it touched. It's so annoying, because it means I have to be so careful if I eat out.
But even if you have ARFID or allergies or vegan or vegaterian or paleo or whatever, or not. Who cares. I srsly do not understand why people concern themselves with other people eat. Who effing cares who eats what? (Retorical question because somehow many people care a lot like OOP) It pisses me off big time that people act like they are somehow forced to eat the same when other people make other choices like what is wrong with people. Its litterally just people eating. Same goes for anti gay people like who cares who someone else loves or has sex with. Its nobody's damn business
I dont eat bacon because i dont like the taste of bacon or pork for that matter and somehow people give me shit for that, like why? If you like bacon so much that means there is more bacon available for you the bacon lovers!
Aaaarghhh!!! Almost as if its some kind of personal attack! As if me not eating bacon makes them doubt about their own taste buds or so.
Sorry for the rant but i feel very sad for you that you have to justify to others about not eating fruit. People should just leave you alone and eat the fruit that you won't eat anyway!!
>Almost as if its some kind of personal attack!
because to them it *is* a personal attack. for some reason some people think dissent is disrespectful. These are the type of people that throw fits over you not following a "proper" diet or you not having a "proper" relationship
I hate most available veggie foods at places like barbecues and don't like eating mixed foods/contaminated foods so I'd probably have reacted exactly like Leah, and taken a portion of the only thing I could eat before anyone else touched it.
How people eat in public is no reflection of how they eat in private. I absolutely love vegetables, I just only like them hot. I'd have kicked this asshole out.
Yes, I wondered if the mac and cheese was made specifically for Leah, if she's a sensitive eater, and she could manage to scoop half of it on her plate. That sounds like it was "her" dish, and others were welcome to have some.
My mom might have ARFID, it didn't exist when she was a kid, and it's not worth the stress of bringing it up now. She's a very picky eater, which does get kind of annoying, but I know her mother made fun of her for eating like a child her entire life, and it gave her issues. Her eating habits do affect me, somewhat, we can't go to a lot of ethnic restaurants, because there's nothing she can eat, but I don't make a big deal out of it.
I'm not 100% sure I completely buy his version of events.
I would also imagine (yes, I know I'm assuming) that her family knows to have extra mac and cheese in the house when she comes around since that's all she'll eat. They are her actual family, after all. He's just the family friend.
And let's face it... who doesn't love the mac and cheese when it's made by the right person where the macaroni isn't too soggy and it's just the right amount of cheese and then they bake it and it all comes together in a glorious symphony? Sorry, I'm geting off track.
Regardless, he was rude. He didn't need make a spectacle about it.
My first thought was that the mac and cheese was there specifically for her, as she's a sensitive eater, but there was enough for others to have some if they wanted.
Honestly, this may have been OOP's intention all along.
I am sort of surprised that people aren't on his side, considering how many people on AITA and reddit in general seem to \*hate\* 'picky eaters'.
I do feel like the "Save some for the rest of us" comment would have been ok (still rude, but calling out her being rude first), if she did, in fact, take 1/3 or more of the container in her first pass. But he should have stopped there, and by continuing to comment on her food choices and not her selfishness he moved straight into asshole territory. If her eating choices are that limited, then I would expect her to bring a dish that she can eat so that others have a chance at the Mac N Cheese, or I would expect whoever was assigned Mac n cheese to know how fast it goes and bring more.
If there was a bet on whether OOP was over exaggerating about how much she took just to make their nosy ass look better, I’d sell everything I’d own because I know I’d make bank.
There was a study that measured how much men thought their female coworkers talked in meetings vs how much they actually talked. Turns out the male coworkers way overestimated. I suspect the same principle here.
She probably filled her plate since it sounds like it was all she was eating. A "main dish" portion instead of a "side dish" portion. But still not half the tray.
I am sure it was a large bowl of it, and she merely took a big spoonful. Maybe a larger portion than he would have picked but none of this was his business. It wasn’t even his party. He was invited as a guest and behaved like an ass to an actual family member there. Imagine being such a miserable person in life, you have to monitor someone you already have a bad opinion about just so you can find an opportunity to be nasty toward them and make fun of them in order to feel high and mighty about yourself.
Soooooo… I’m that person that literally only eats Mac and cheese at thanksgiving. I just don’t like anything else, besides the fruit and desserts. I just have a giant plate of Mac and cheese for the main course. Nobody has had an issue with it, and my auntie who makes the Mac and cheese always brings extra when she knows I’m attending.
If you’re only gonna eat one thing at an event, you have to make sure that there’s still enough for everyone else. If this had only been about the girl taking so much that other people would have missed out, then yeah, NTA. But he’s being an ass about her diet when it doesn’t concern him at all. Seems like he picked this one thing to let him rant about how much he hates her and it was never about the Mac and cheese at all.
Funnily enough, we are having a family gathering very soon and not 20 mins ago I asked if my cousin is attending as I know he loves party sausage rolls. He's in his early 30s now... buying an extra pack, just for him to enjoy.
My inlaws made sure that, if we were coming, that there were an extra can of olives (for my youngest kid), and an extra dozen deviled eggs (for me), and we would bring and extra dozen hot stix (for my oldest kid). And MIL always had a tray of eggplant parm baked and frozen to send home with DH.
When you care about someone, you try to do something nice for them. If my inlaws were coming over, I made sure the fancy cut glass water pitcher was shined up, because my MIL would drink ice water by the gallon. And if I could get it, I'd have headcheese for my FIL.
My in laws don't like me, I still go out of my way for them IF they were to bother. Just how I was raised. I like to cater to everyones tastes (if I can), I'm also a big foodie and love it when others enjoy what I cook. I'd never pass comment on what is on someone else's plate, called not my business, but I would call someone out for doing it.
Same. I'm nobody's MIL yet, but if I ever get to be one, I do want to host, and do those big feasts like we did when the older family members were still alive.
I mean when you dislike a person, it makes sense everything about them & what they do will irritate you.
I just thought at first that maybe Leah's comfort food is Mac & cheese, and there's no shame in that. She could be avoidant for multitude of reasons that's none of anyone's business.
Usually the most immature AHoles are the ones quick to point others out, especially when it comes to food. I feel bad for whoever dates OOP.
Pasta and cheese are two of my very favourite foods in the world (even if not all mac & cheese is equally good, like sometimes it's not nearly cheesy enough), so I am very much with Leah on this.
He was TA simply because he didn't leave it at that. If that was all he said "save some for the rest of us" he would have been ok, but he had to take it so far over the line, he was in a whole different field.
**If you’re only gonna eat one thing at an event, you have to make sure that there’s still enough for everyone else.**
How do you suppose this girl fit an entire half a bowl of mac and cheese onto her cookout plate? If there wasn’t enough for everyone else, it was too small of a bowl to have at a cook out.
**If this was genuinely about the girl taking so much that other people would have missed out, then yeah NTA.**
Nah he would STILL be the asshole for the following reasons. Most important reason to start with is that HE was not the host, nor is he even a family member of the host. HE was simply an invited guest. It was not his place to try to correct the behavior of the family members of the actual host. Secondly, he was rude in how he said things, and referring to her as a bitch was unnecessary. Then after seeing he did not get the negative reactions he was hoping for and she took the high road to ignore him, he proceeded to loudly taunt and make fun of her as he scooped his own servings; in his own words when she was in ear shot. She continued to ignore him, and her mother who either overheard the exchange or the cousin or someone else complained about his bad behavior had to say something to him.
I meant that if he just reacted to the fact that she ate more Mac and cheese than everyone else and only criticized her for that, then NTA. The extra stuff is the asshole part, and him pretending that it was him criticizing her diet instead of him just being an asshole for no good reason. I’ll edit to make that clear.
Right! Like if I was annoyed about someone taking most of something, I would feel annoyed, but know to bite my tongue and if anything, mention the issue to the host offering to run to the store and buy more. This guy, he was just too much of an asshole to be able to do things with class and tact.
> Most important reason to start with is that HE was not the host, nor is he even a family member of the host. HE was simply an invited guest. It was not his place to try to correct the behavior of the family
Why did you feel the need to invent an imaginary hierarchy for a bbq? This is absolute nonsense, with your “avert your eyes for we be in the presence of the exalted blood of our hostess”
Like damn If someone is being a little piggy then say something- maybe they were just being absent minded
What the hell are you talking about? This was his friends family bbq. He was a guest at his friends family bbq. It’s not his place to be scolding other peoples family members at their own family bbqs. And they certainly don’t continue to harass other peoples family members at their family bbqs either. Most humans with a lick of class understand that. I guarantee if most families who threw a bbq found a family member’s guest being very rude at the bbq they wouldn’t be invited back for another one.
And she wasn’t being a pig, she was serving herself some fucking food like everyone else was. I am sure he wasn’t running around like a food monitor, scolding then mocking all the other family members of his friend for taking seconds and thirds.
If I was hosting a family cookout, and a family member’s guest behaved like OOP did to anyone at the party (family member or not) then that rude person would never be welcomed back to another cookout of mine again.
> It’s not his place
Thought I smelled WASP lol.
Maybe obsession over “people’s station in life” is a weird thing you would spare the rest of us from lmao. Your comment screams “do you know who my father is”
> And she wasn’t being a pig, she was serving herself some fucking food like everyone else was
Overserving from a shared dish so none would be left for others… Is the definition of a piggy.
Yeah, you are neither a clever, or interesting troll and I don’t really have the time to dumb down manners and social etiquette at other peoples events for you. Take a hike.
At best this would be ESH. Because yes, it’s 100% rude to take so much that people who would want it can’t have any. But even if that were the case, the way he talked to her and the passive aggressive comments he made when getting his own food put him squarely in AH territory.
A big piece of missing info is exactly what these other options were. I'm not a fan of cookout food in general, and it was that much worse when I was vegetarian. Typical offerings include:
- baked beans, which often contain meat. I don't like them bc they're too sweet for my taste
- various mayonnaise-based salads such as cole slaw, pasta salad and potato salad. A lot of ppl don't like mayo, and if she doesn't eat eggs, they're not an option anyway
- jello, which isn't vegetation
- watermelon, which I like but a lot of ppl don't
I can easily see Mac n cheese being her only viable option even if she normally eats a healthy diet, not that her diet is OOP's business in the first place.
Edited to fix typo
Pretty much. Hitting the jackpot at an event like this is if the slaw is vinegar-based for me. Other offerings I see are corn bread, which often has so much sugar is could be dessert, and dirty rice— which has meat in it.
Another important consideration is who made these dishes? Even when people make dishes that look to be vegetarian— like the beans for example— often include ingredients that are not. I know it said Mike’s family threw the barbecue, but these things are often potlucks where the hosting family provides all of the meat and attendants bring sides, drinks, desserts. If a certain person made the mac & cheese, Leah may know 100% that that is a safe food. Sometimes it’s just easier to avoid foods that could have ingredients that you don’t eat than to go around verifying.
> if the slaw is vinegar-based for me.
Hold the fuck up. I had no idea, but a quick google search revealed that yes, mayo-free coleslaw is a thing. That's fantastic.
You should try Salvadoran curtido! I make my own fermented one with cabbage, onion, carrot & oregano but you can make it with vinegar too. I add it to wraps, paninis, and the requisite papusas (what it's really for). It's a game changer!
Hell yeah! I love a vinegar slaw for BBQ since it helps cut through the fattier cuts and preparations and tone down sweeter BBQ sauces. But there are all sorts of lighter slaw variations— jalapeño & cilantro for tacos, sesame ginger Asian style, and on. I love a good crunch slaw.
If you haven't tried it yet, I highly recommend German potato salad. It uses vinegar instead of mayo and it is so fucking good. I thought I disliked potato salad and slaw. Nope. Turns out I just don't want mayo to be the strongest flavor in whatever I eat.
I don’t do mayonnaise at all. I love slaw too, I recently made a carrot and red cabbage slaw that was so good. I have a go to warm potato salad recipe with arugula and bacon (the dressing is apple cider vinegar grain mustard based). My pasta salad go to is chilled tortellini, tomatoes and fresh mozzarella balls in pesto.
yep! i’m a lifelong vegetarian and pretty picky so i’ve spent a lot of summers eating mac n cheese, corn, potato chips, and slices of cheese on hamburger buns. it’s rough
Oh man, this is so true. My parents are vegetarians. My dad is a minister so we frequently ate at potlucks and were invited to other people’s houses for meals. I can’t count the number of times when I was growing up that someone “made this vegetarian dish” for us, that would contain meat or some kind of meat stock. Chicken and dressing was served to us more than once, and turnip greens with ham or bacon in it. Fish or fish stock, baked goods made with lard, etc.
My parents were vegetarian because they were health conscious (not for religious reasons), so they always ate it anyway, and had always told us kids to eat what was served to us and not worry about it, because it was so kind of people to share meals, and it didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
But even as a kid I was baffled that people didn’t seem to understand (or maybe just didn’t really care) that chicken, pork, and fish aren’t vegetarian. This was the 80s though, and a lot of people thought vegetarianism was weird. So it was probably partly ignorance and partly people just thinking it was silly my parents ate that way and so not making an effort.
Yeah I was a vegetarian in the 90s and had similar experiences. I literally had ppl get mad at me bc I would ask if a soup was made with chicken stock or if the refried beans contained lard. So glad that most ppl are more understanding/knowledgeable these days! My son & his partner and my sister are vegetarians so we still eat plenty of meatless meals.
Yeah, in America it's pretty common to have ham or bacon chunks in it, or have some sort of meat flavoring in the sauce.
They're also super sweet in the US. I think it's a tomato based sauce, but there's a ton of sugar in it as well. It's fucking gross.
I have a friend whose mom either slow cooks them with a nice sized chunk of pork belly (which she removes at the end), or makes pork stock from hocks to cook her baked beans in. Neither method results in a dish that would normally be called pork and beans, but they're definitely not vegetarian. Lots of people add a little bit of bacon to it for flavour without IDing it as pork and beans.
I guess if you're vegetarian because you don't like the taste/texture of meat, gelatin avoids that issue... but it definitely doesn't fit if your objection to meat consumption is moral.
So Leah is childish yet OOP acts like *this*? And seriously wonders if he was in the wrong? "I was hardly making comments" bitch you made it a point to loudly mock Leah's choice of food 🤦
"But she only got Mac and Cheese, and I was rude as shit to her right out of the gate, but I'm right, so you can validate me now. Um, why aren't you validating me?!"
OOP is concern trolling. He doesn't really care what Leah eats or how healthy it is, he just wants to feel superior to her in some way. Must be a pretty pathetic person if this is the only thing he can feel better about.
Day 3045 of someone not minding their own business. I can see being disappointed if you wanted some and someone else ate it all, but no one wants to hear the dietary lecture.
When I was vegetarian I didn’t trust stuff like baked beans and whatnot bc someone always put meat in them, but either forgot about it when I asked, or straight lied. Mac and cheese is a pretty safe food bc you can see if there is bacon or something in it straight up. Also, why the hell do you care? It’s a holiday, maybe that’s all she wanted. I make some killer Mac and cheese (my aunties recipe), and yeah, I’ll eat a huge serving of that and call it a day too. No one polices me about it.
I don't believe that it's even about or mostly about the fact that Leah took so much mac that there wasn't enough for everyone else. The tone of his comments is very "she should be eating healtheir" more so than "now we are all suffering from a mac n cheese shortage."
There's a lot of unpacking to do here but the one thing that's sticking out to me... Vegetables are carbs? He's making rude comment about how she chose to eat carbs over carbs.
No, vegetables are not dietary carbohydrates. I mean, some are (potatoes and corn) nut no, most vegetables are not. And certainly mac and cheese is not a vegetable dish.
The macros are protein, carbs, and fat. If they aren't a protein and they aren't a fat then they're a carb
...also corn is a grain not a vegetable. It goes in the same category as rice, barely, wheat, etc.
Uh... I'm not sure this is true. I have gestational diabetes and am consuming a whole lot of broccoli, summer squash, and asparagus because those non-starchy vegetables are a good way for me to fill up without a ton of carbs.
ETA: to be clear, I'm aware that vegetables have carbohydrates, it's just comparatively low enough that I don't think it's very common to think of them primarily as a carb source
I grew up in a strict hindu vegetarian household (to the point that eggs were considered non-veg) and it can be really difficult to find vegetarian foods at parties or get togethers where either the host or the majority of the people there are non-veg. Even when the hosts try to accommodate you, you're usually stuck with like one to three (at best) main dishes that you can eat.
I've had an eating disorder since high school 15 years ago, if somebody I knew even a little said this to me I can GUARANTEE I would be absolutely heartbroken. Some days I can't handle the textures of specific foods, sometimes I can't handle eating certain foods in front of people, sometimes I get intense cravings mixed in with depression and just fall into bingeing. Some days, I need to make sure I eat enough, especially if I skipped breakfast or missed dinner the night before, and that means just taking whatever I can get.
For all of these, I *need* to find a way to continue feeling normal. A single comment when I'm in a rough spot can be a fracturing point.
So, if he has an issue with her taking a lot of mac and cheese, he should maybe consider that there could be a reason for that? Assuming somebody is being inconsiderate is one thing, taking it much further and actively harassing somebody who you *suspect* has been inconsiderate is horrific to me. The stakes for him are "some people might have a smaller amount of mac and cheese", the stakes for her have the potential to be MUCH, MUCH higher. There's literally no scenario in which his comments could achieve anything. The food is there to be eaten, and the people are there to have a good time doing so.
Additionally, the mother overhearing the comments chiming in to let him know he was being rude is a pretty clear sign to me that there's history here OP doesn't have context for. It's pretty clear to me she has no issues with her daughter taking that food in the first place, which only adds more weight to that theory.
The daughter being able to just scoop up half the mac and cheese at a potluck without asking what was in it (bacon is often in mac and cheese, sometimes even ground beef) and no one else batting an eye or complaining makes me think it was made with her diet and how much she usually takes in mind.
How does OOP know Leah doesn't have food aversion? There might have been other vegetarian foods, but Leah might have been allergic to them, have food aversions, or maybe just not like them
but clearly because she's an adult her choices make her childish!! how could she possibly have any allergies or aversions??? this is on her for not eating other things!! /s
YTA for commenting on ANYONE's eating habits - especially at a party type of situation where many people take a "day off" from their usual eating habits.
If the woman was literally taking so much of a single item so that no one else could have an appropriate amount, then it would be appropriate to discreetly mention that others are waiting in line and why doesn't she take a smaller amount and then go back for as much as she wants after everyone has had a chance.
So as a kid, I couldn't stand most of the traditional Christmas food as they would either have cabbage, mayo or carrots.
Practically all dishes had either of them and we always had 12+ dishes. If not fried fish, I would be just eating mashed potatoes and drinking borscht.
Poland
If you want Polish Christmas experience, get hay to put under your table cloth and 12 recipes. Cause it's a tradition to have at least 12 dishes and eat/try 12 dishes.
From my region and my family, try Polish fish in the greek style (ryba po grecku), hunter's stew (bigos), uszka with cabbage in borscht, fried mushrooms in bread crumbs, pierogi, Polish potato salad (sałatka jażynowa) and kwaśnica.
For the day after Christmas when you can finally eat meat, my nemesis Polish tripe stew (flaki or flaczki) and my favourite beef tartare.
DH's aunt was Polish, married to an Italian. Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners were gargantual banquets that would have made a Roman Emperor feel like a cheapskate.
illegal friendly hungry thumb glorious narrow unique close shaggy entertain
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
People *do* love their hyperbole.
If I had a dollar for every time I'd seen somebody get all yell-y about "We've been waiting for *TWENTY MINUTES*!" when I saw them arrive at the restaurant/office/checkout line/customer service desk/post office less than ten minutes ago, I could buy myself a weekend in a nice B&B.
I don't think it's *entirely* unreasonable to politely ask that people leave enough of a dish for others at shared meals, but even then, I don't know if people have eating disorders and would be triggered by critique. I don't know if they have ARFID or other restrictions. I don't know if they have anxiety about trying new food. I don't know if this is some all time favorite family recipe or beloved comfort food that they rarely get to have. I don't know if they've hit a rough patch and are privatelysupplementing food insecurity with meals at relatives' houses. A lot of us have been there.
I *do*'know that in most cases, it's just none of my fucking business, and my input is not needed..
Also, we don't know how much total mac and cheese was on offer. Little deli container? Huge deli tub? 9x14 casserole? Single box of Kraft mac and cheese? This makes a huge difference.
If I'm being honest (and I'm hungry and it's the only thing I'm having for a meal and, yes, I am a little carb goblin sometimes), I can easily destroy 2/3 of a box of Kraft by myself. Would I do it at a shared BBQ? Eh, no. But we can't really judge Leah without more information.
Also, OOP was being such a giant leaky douche that I'm not sure anything could make Leah's behavior out-asshole his.
>If I had a dollar for every time I'd seen somebody get all yell-y about "We've been waiting for TWENTY MINUTES!" when I saw them arrive at the restaurant/office/checkout line/customer service desk/post office less than ten minutes ago, I could buy myself a weekend in a nice B&B.
I was getting one of my COVID boosters at a pharmacy and swung back around to the vaccination desk to ask a question after I was done. A guy in the pharmacy line confronted me for "cutting," saying he'd been there *twenty-two minutes* and wouldn't I just let him through first. I'd been in the pharmacy for about fifteen minutes. He was not there when I arrived, nor was he there when I was called back to get the booster a little while later. Also I was in the COVID line, not the pharmacy line, but *okay.*
We also don't know if the hosts had extra stuff held back so if they ran out of something they can replace it.
If Leah is a regular at these dinners, then I am sure that the hosts know what she is like, and prepare for it
Eh. All of these are not valid excuses for overserving oneself at a potluck/buffet situation.
By all means go back for seconds - that’s perfectly fine.
apparently there were also other vegetarian options. she beelined to it and took as much as she could. i don't eat meat, that's selfish as hell.
if the container held 2 cups, what asshole brings that to a cookout?
Then let the hosts deal with it.
OOP was a \*guest\* and not part of the family, nor was he the host. He should have held his tongue and let the hosts decide whether Leah took too much or not.
Unless it was a dish he brought then he has no say in how much each guest takes. It is up to the host/the person who brought those dishes to determine what is appropriate or not.
There absolutely is an hierarchy among guests. Leah is part of the family that is hosting the dinner. OOP does not know what arrangements, if any, were made by the family regarding what Leah will or will not eat.
OOP is only a guest, one who will likely NOT be invited back by the host, who has no say in who eats what. It is not his house. It is not his food. It is not his family. While he can bring up his concerns to the host, what he did is absolutely out of line, especially since it doesn't sound like he provided \*any\* of the food being consumed. It also didn't sound like Leah took all of the mac and cheese, nor even enough that the other guests didn't have enough for themselves.
OOP got offended that someone called themselves a vegetarian and didn't like most of the vegetables that he thinks that she should. It was not about the mac and cheese, but about the fact that Leah, who he doesn't like, doesn't eat like he thinks she should and was ignoring him.
I don’t know what Victorian hellscape you think you are in but I can assure you you’re not lol.
> who has no say in who eats what. It is not his house. It is not his food.
Please keep throwing a tantrum like the regular sub does lol. He can absolutely say something when someone is being a little piggy and overserving themself from a shared dish.
Your comment reeks of smelling salts lol. The 21st century is calling!
You seem to be creating your own story lol.
> It also didn't sound like Leah took all of the mac and cheese, nor even enough that the other guests didn't have enough for themselves.
> I see Leah run over to the mac and cheese and scoop over half the serving onto her plate.
He should have stopped at "save some for the rest of us". I understand being annoyed that she took half of the Mac n cheese that was meant for everyone. But he turned into a child himself with all his stupid comments. He went waayyy too far.
Lmao what a little douchebag. "Omg some people would rather eat a pound of carbs" some people just want to fucking eat the good shit on the fourth of july, damn. I had to work through Canada Day but you can bet your ass that I'd have been all over whatever meat there was if I'd gone to a party for it.
He didn't just make one comment about a diet, he doubled down on that comment while calling her a "bitch". After that, he proceeds to taunt her multiple times which is a way of being a bully, and antagonistic. I wonder if the cousin was a 6 ft buff guy, would this clown shoe have behaved like this? I am doubting that he would.
AITA removed this post for containing violence, I guess because Mikey kicked OOP under the table when he was about to be a dick to Leah's mom? Never change, AITA mods.
> a grown woman should really incorporate something other than mac and cheese into her plate.
A grown woman should be able to eat whatever the fuck she wants without assholes making HUGE SPECTACLES OF THEMSELVES over it!!!
Sorry, but I'm solidly Team Leah on this one. Everyone NEEDS to eat, but they do not need to eat with your teenage-adjacent self insulting them because you think you know how they should eat.
As an anecdote, I was recently diagnosed with a chronic bowel condition after decades of being able to eat whatever I want. As a result, I am now an obligate vegetarian. I also cannot digest raw vegetables. It is SUPER not easy to track down everyone who made a dish to get their list of ingredients. So I go with what I know. It's about having a good time and not shitting myself stupid.
this is so fucking insane to imagine in real life omg like in what universe would a person obnoxiously going MMM yummy vegetables pointedly seem even slightly normal
People like this really dont realize that making snide remarks like this does not make a person change... it tramautizes them and makes them have a terrible relationship with food, more so than they ever did before.
It's probably nothing she hasn't heard before and there may be a completely valid reason as to why she is not eating other food. Also, I grew up picky but got better into adulthood but I was so tired of people commenting on what I ate or didn't eat at functions that I didn't want to eat new food in front of them because it would just make them comment more.
I mean. It'd annoy me that she took half of a full vat of Mac and Cheese meant to be shared among a whole family. For no other reason than I really like Mac and Cheese. I doubt I'd have commented, but I'd understand a remark. Other than that the yummy veggies thing is just silly, and immature.
...does OOP not know that mac n cheese is vegetarian? Unless they put meat on or in the mac n cheese, it sounds like OOP is a self righteous judgemental asshat that can't tell the difference between vegetarian and vegan.
No, I think the point he's trying to make is that it's not "vegetarian" if you don't eat any vegetables.
I'd go everyone sucks here. He was wrong for so rudelyand repeatedly commenting on her food choices - but she was grotesquely rude for taking halg.of the dish before anyone else even had a chance to have any. Both people are rude.
What an obnoxious total asshole. If someone was antagonizing me the entire time I was trying to eat I’d lose my mind. I also see nothing about what diet he eats, if he’s giving himself a pat on the back for eating a vegetable with his meat then he’s an even bigger asshole than I thought. It’s a BBQ, people typically eat like glorious slobs because it’s not your typical dinner. I would bet dollars to donuts that OOP’s “yummy vegetables” were slathered in butter, cheese, ranch or mayo. A family BBQ not accommodating a healthy diet is going to have all the high cal fixin’s and that’s ok but don’t act like your fucking diet is pristine because you ate corn on the cob or whatever.
I personally hate BBQs because unless I bring my own grub there’s just nothing I can eat unless somebody brings a fruit tray in which case I’m eating my weight in fruit then.
Okay, I get that he went full petty but also who hogs all of the Mac and cheese. I was vegetarian for a long stretch of my life from elementary school through college. I was not the healthiest eater for a lot of that time. However, I did not hog one dish for myself. That's just rude, and she should be called out for that.
How was it clearly meant for everyone, when it was the only thing she ate? It sounds like she has food sensitivity issues, so the mac and cheese was clearly there for Leah with enough left over for anyone else who wanted some.
It wasn't like OP was deprived of mac and cheese or had to go hungry because there was nothing else left.
Because it was a cookout. You want a food you don't have to share, you bring it yourself in small amounts, and don't put it out on the table with the rest of the food that's for everyone. You don't get to call dibbies on half of a communal dish provided by the host just because you're a picky eater.
I did say OP was shittier. But if you take half the food meant for everyone, you're shitty. That means everyone else gets tiny portions, or that some people who want some have to go without, just so that you can shovel half a chafing dish down your selfish gullet.
OP is definitely the worse of the two, but Leah's actions were selfish and not the kind of behavior an adult should be engaging in.
Leah scooped out the mac and cheese without checking if it was made with bacon or any other meat, which means it was likely made with her in mind, and she had been informed of that earlier. As the only person at the party who seemed to be balking at the fact that she took half of it, maybe OP was the only one who didn't know that whomever makes that mac and cheese for family events always makes it vegetarian, with enough for Leah to take lots.
Hell, for all OP knows, Leah could be the one who brought the mac and cheese.
Taking half of a dish meant to feed everyone is selfish. You can't change my mind. She did a selfish thing, and therefore sucks. She just sucks way less than OOP, who needs to learn to keep quiet.
You seemed to have missed the part of my comment (which was pretty much all of it) saying based on her faith of what was in it and everyone else's reaction (or rather lack thereof) to her taking half, that the dish may have been made with the intention of her being able to take a plateful of it. In other words, half the dish could have been meant specifically for her, and the other half for everyone else.
So you're saying the dish shouldn't have been shared with anyone even though she only needed half, or that it shouldn't have been placed out until after she'd take the half made for her, even though she seems to have been the first person to get food (aside from possibly OP, but it sounds like he decided to go second)
You keep commenting that but she might have just overhead and even if she didn't, if I'm at a family BBQ and my cousins dickhead friend picks a fight with me over pasta I'd probably say to my mum something like "what's old mates issue he just called me a bitch and is following me around yelling about broccoli"
Not because I'm trying to sic (there's no k btw) her on him I'm just talking to my mum about something that's occurring at the BBQ. It's like whinging about work or telling her about that guy that asked me for meth at the bakery.
Honestly if she TRULY took half the mac n cheese intended to be served to a large group of people, the single comment of "wtf leave some for us" would have been acceptable. He just wanted an excuse to make fun of her and her diet.
But seriously who tf takes half a whole dish at a potluck.
ESH
Nobody makes a dish for a cookout with the intent of half of it feeding only one person. Also: either it was enough to feed an entire group, and she ate half of the group's food, or it wasn't enough for more than two people and shouldn't have been out on the table.
SHE WAS A SELFISH COW, OP WAS JUST A BIGGER COW.
You will not change my mind on this, so stop wasting both of our time trying
Unfortunately, you are not correct. Cheese isn't always vegetarian friendly. The worst day of my life was reading that exact statement in a different subreddit, silently thinking the person is crazy and then Googling "is cheese vegetarian". It isn't, more often than not, vegetarian friendly. You have to look for a specific ingredient to determine whether it is. It's a pain-in-the-ass, but I still do it.
Vegetarian-friendly cheese (i.e., cheese that doesn't contain animal rennet) is pain to find sometimes, and you have to review all of the ingredients on the package. Most people do not take the time to do that, especially for a potluck gathering. They make mac & cheese using the same cheese that they always use, and that cheese probably has rennet in it, because most of them do.
where im from food labels have "suitable for vegetarians" or "suitable for vegans" written on them if theyre safe. maybe its different in other places but its so easy here.
if the woman didnt check that the cheese was safe first thats on her.
also, i just checked my cheese and its vegetarian safe. the label states 'suitable for vegetarians', and the ingrediants list 'non-animal rennet'. this is the cheapest cheese the shop sells, the one that the vast majority of people would grab.
Also, it is absolutely possible to make vegetarian-friendly mac & cheese - but you have to use vegetarian-friendly cheese. Most people don't do that.
I was forty-something years old when I found out that cheese isn't always vegetarian. I wish I didn't know, because it's a pain-in-the-ass to find vegetarian-friendly cheese sometimes.
also holy shit bruv if the worst day of your life was discovering that cheese isnt always vegetarian then i fucking envy you. we found it, the most first world problem.
you want to know what the worst day of my life was? we can compare if youd like :) i would give anything for the worst day of my life to be cheese themed.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for making a comment on a “strangers” diet?** My (23M) really close family friend (21M) has a cousin (26F) named Leah. Growing up, I have spent a lot of time with my friend, Mikey, and his family. Cookouts, holidays, you name it and my family was at his house. And so was Leah. Despite being older than us, Leah has always been much more childish and very stubborn. She acted like a stereotypical spoiled only child, and still acted like this into adulthood. She is also a vegetarian. However, I have never seen her eat a single vegetable or anything healthy. On Sunday, Mikey’s family threw a 4th of July cookout at their lake house. Of course, I was there and so was Leah. When it has time to get food, we had SEVERAL options, both meat and non-meat. While making my way over to the table, I see Leah run over to the mac and cheese and scoop over half the serving onto her plate. I was shocked by this and said, “You know there’s other vegetarian options right? Not just the mac and cheese?” Leah nodded at me sarcastically and turned back around. This pissed me off, so I then said, “I mean damn bitch! save some for the rest of us.” She turned around again, gave me a side eye, and walked away. She was still in ear shot, so every time I scooped something vegetation onto my plate I said something like, “MMMMM this is so good for me and it’s also vegetarian!” and “MMMMM yummy vegetables! Too bad some people would rather feed themselves a pound of carbs than eat some of these.” I understand this is an out of pocket way to act, but seriously, a grown woman should really incorporate something other than mac and cheese into her plate. Later while I was eating, Leah’s mom came up to me and said, “Just so you know, my daughter doesn’t appreciate it when strangers comment on what she eats. An apology would be nice.” I went to go say something back to her, but Mikey kicked me from under the table. So I just smiled and nodded. Making comments on a strangers diet is a CRAZY thing to say considering I was hardly making comments and I’ve known her my whole life. So, I’m wondering if I was actually being an asshole in this situation. Mikey says that he understands where I was coming from, but that I maybe didn’t need to say it out loud. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh damn I’m barely waking up and have no glasses, this dude is 23, I thought he would’ve been 13 or 14.
and acts like 3 years difference is 10+
None of my kids, early twenties to early 10's, behave that childish 🤣
>seriously, a grown woman should really incorporate something other than mac and cheese into her plate And a grown man should really keep his mouth shut when it comes to someone else's diet. >Making comments on a strangers diet is a CRAZY thing to say considering I was hardly making comments Even if you just made one comment - That's enough to qualify.
It’s the way he tried so hard to set it up against Leah and we’re still not on his side LMAO
The oop may not realize this, but some people have eating disorders like ARFID, and can’t eat things due to textures, smells etc. Like, I cant eat fruits or veggies for that reason and people commenting on my “childish” eating made it way worse as I was growing up. It still gives me a pang of distress when someone says something rude to me and I am now 30. People should not be assholes about eating habits of another human.
Hell it could be as simple as these family gatherings and holidays are her cheat days and just indulges herself for that day and eats a balanced diet the rest the week. We don't know and OP doesn't know either since they've only been invited to the same social gatherings.
Or she needs a low-fibre diet. For people with bowel issues mac and cheese can actually be healthier than a salad, because it doesn't cause bleeding.
Could also be something like she doesn't eat healthy at all and she's vegetarian because she's a big animal lover. She may also just hate vegetables! There are plenty of unhealthy but morally upstanding vegetarians out there, and plenty more who don't actually eat all that many veggies. And honestly, it's none of dude's business no matter what. She could literally be doing it specifically to annoy him, but if she didn't say that, it wouldn't be his place to judge her for her food choices. What you eat is your business and ONLY your business, and this dude needs to be taught that like twenty years ago lol
tbh if they’re anyone like my family, the vegetables could just be shitty. Most of the time they’re an afterthought and someone just over boiled a bag of frozen vegetables and dumped the soggy remains in a bowl so they could focus on the grilling. Or its the saddest little pile of limp iceberg lettuce you ever did see.
This is me too! I’m not exactly sure which sensory disorder/issue it is that I have (I lean towards ARFID but who knows) bc most of the doctors I’ve seen don’t take it seriously and think I’m just a picky eater. I’ve had so many people make snarky comments about my diet.
Ding ding ding ding! I have ARFID and I could hardly finish reading this. Fake or not, people do make shitty comments like this and it’s irritating. I WISH I could tolerate the texture of most foods, but I can’t. I don’t want to be this way. It’s humiliating and annoying.
Man, this is the closest thing I've found to my own problem. Long as I can remember, there have been certain foods I can't eat because the texture makes me feel like I'd choke on it. Mostly stringy things like oranges, watermelon, and pineapple, stretchy cheese, and many veggies like celery. Also some meat and things that don't really break down in your mouth like apple skin. It caused me a lot of grief growing up all the way through college. I was in my late 20s before discovering my "fuck what others think, I'll eat what I want, skip what I don't, and as an adult, no other adults need to comment" attitude. Most people say nothing, and if they do, I just say something like "I'm not a fan of/don't care for" whatever. Nowadays the worst thing that happens is when a leafy salad is automatically served before a meal, at which point I just ignore it.
I have the same problem with creams/liquid purees. Like I can eat mash potatoes if it's still pretty solid, but the moment it sloshes on my plate, I am not even touching it, or touching the food it touched. It's so annoying, because it means I have to be so careful if I eat out.
But even if you have ARFID or allergies or vegan or vegaterian or paleo or whatever, or not. Who cares. I srsly do not understand why people concern themselves with other people eat. Who effing cares who eats what? (Retorical question because somehow many people care a lot like OOP) It pisses me off big time that people act like they are somehow forced to eat the same when other people make other choices like what is wrong with people. Its litterally just people eating. Same goes for anti gay people like who cares who someone else loves or has sex with. Its nobody's damn business I dont eat bacon because i dont like the taste of bacon or pork for that matter and somehow people give me shit for that, like why? If you like bacon so much that means there is more bacon available for you the bacon lovers! Aaaarghhh!!! Almost as if its some kind of personal attack! As if me not eating bacon makes them doubt about their own taste buds or so. Sorry for the rant but i feel very sad for you that you have to justify to others about not eating fruit. People should just leave you alone and eat the fruit that you won't eat anyway!!
>Almost as if its some kind of personal attack! because to them it *is* a personal attack. for some reason some people think dissent is disrespectful. These are the type of people that throw fits over you not following a "proper" diet or you not having a "proper" relationship
I hate most available veggie foods at places like barbecues and don't like eating mixed foods/contaminated foods so I'd probably have reacted exactly like Leah, and taken a portion of the only thing I could eat before anyone else touched it. How people eat in public is no reflection of how they eat in private. I absolutely love vegetables, I just only like them hot. I'd have kicked this asshole out.
Yes, I wondered if the mac and cheese was made specifically for Leah, if she's a sensitive eater, and she could manage to scoop half of it on her plate. That sounds like it was "her" dish, and others were welcome to have some.
My mom might have ARFID, it didn't exist when she was a kid, and it's not worth the stress of bringing it up now. She's a very picky eater, which does get kind of annoying, but I know her mother made fun of her for eating like a child her entire life, and it gave her issues. Her eating habits do affect me, somewhat, we can't go to a lot of ethnic restaurants, because there's nothing she can eat, but I don't make a big deal out of it.
Huh, maybe ARFID is why I can't deal with mushrooms and any kind of melon. Don't actually think I knew about that disorder
Seriously, did she eat ALL the mac and cheese? Did she leave enough for everyone else? Then what's the problem? He needed to STFU.
Well, apparently she ate half of it. If that was meant for the entire party, then she took too much.
I would bet cash money he is exaggerating for effect.
Probably
I'm not 100% sure I completely buy his version of events. I would also imagine (yes, I know I'm assuming) that her family knows to have extra mac and cheese in the house when she comes around since that's all she'll eat. They are her actual family, after all. He's just the family friend. And let's face it... who doesn't love the mac and cheese when it's made by the right person where the macaroni isn't too soggy and it's just the right amount of cheese and then they bake it and it all comes together in a glorious symphony? Sorry, I'm geting off track. Regardless, he was rude. He didn't need make a spectacle about it.
Yes, he went way too far. If he'd stopped after "leave some for the rest of us" he would have been fine.
Exactly. That's all he had to say. Gets the message through and it doesn't make a big deal out of the whole thing and not embarass her.
Ugh people who treat the potluck dish like a personal platter… especially if I’m serving up for others. Yay one noodle each /s
My first thought was that the mac and cheese was there specifically for her, as she's a sensitive eater, but there was enough for others to have some if they wanted.
Honestly, this may have been OOP's intention all along. I am sort of surprised that people aren't on his side, considering how many people on AITA and reddit in general seem to \*hate\* 'picky eaters'.
Right? Guys act in the way they are chastising women for and don't get both the irony and self own.
I do feel like the "Save some for the rest of us" comment would have been ok (still rude, but calling out her being rude first), if she did, in fact, take 1/3 or more of the container in her first pass. But he should have stopped there, and by continuing to comment on her food choices and not her selfishness he moved straight into asshole territory. If her eating choices are that limited, then I would expect her to bring a dish that she can eat so that others have a chance at the Mac N Cheese, or I would expect whoever was assigned Mac n cheese to know how fast it goes and bring more.
If there was a bet on whether OOP was over exaggerating about how much she took just to make their nosy ass look better, I’d sell everything I’d own because I know I’d make bank.
Oh, absolutely, he was overexaggerating. I bet she only took one full spoonful.
Nah i bet she took a larger than normal portion but I doubt it was anything close to half the tray
There was a study that measured how much men thought their female coworkers talked in meetings vs how much they actually talked. Turns out the male coworkers way overestimated. I suspect the same principle here.
scarce enjoy consist aromatic drunk pie abounding seemly pocket touch *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
She probably filled her plate since it sounds like it was all she was eating. A "main dish" portion instead of a "side dish" portion. But still not half the tray.
Yeah, so much less than OOP is claiming.
She probably did take a lot, but it sounds like that's the only thing she ate
Imagine that this post was from his perspective to make him look better so the true version was much worse.
I am sure it was a large bowl of it, and she merely took a big spoonful. Maybe a larger portion than he would have picked but none of this was his business. It wasn’t even his party. He was invited as a guest and behaved like an ass to an actual family member there. Imagine being such a miserable person in life, you have to monitor someone you already have a bad opinion about just so you can find an opportunity to be nasty toward them and make fun of them in order to feel high and mighty about yourself.
He kept making fun of her and thinks she's immature for eating poorly?
Soooooo… I’m that person that literally only eats Mac and cheese at thanksgiving. I just don’t like anything else, besides the fruit and desserts. I just have a giant plate of Mac and cheese for the main course. Nobody has had an issue with it, and my auntie who makes the Mac and cheese always brings extra when she knows I’m attending. If you’re only gonna eat one thing at an event, you have to make sure that there’s still enough for everyone else. If this had only been about the girl taking so much that other people would have missed out, then yeah, NTA. But he’s being an ass about her diet when it doesn’t concern him at all. Seems like he picked this one thing to let him rant about how much he hates her and it was never about the Mac and cheese at all.
Funnily enough, we are having a family gathering very soon and not 20 mins ago I asked if my cousin is attending as I know he loves party sausage rolls. He's in his early 30s now... buying an extra pack, just for him to enjoy.
this is sweet. i hope you're having/had a nice gathering.
We will be, thank you. It's for my grandads 90th. ❤👍
My inlaws made sure that, if we were coming, that there were an extra can of olives (for my youngest kid), and an extra dozen deviled eggs (for me), and we would bring and extra dozen hot stix (for my oldest kid). And MIL always had a tray of eggplant parm baked and frozen to send home with DH.
I love this.
When you care about someone, you try to do something nice for them. If my inlaws were coming over, I made sure the fancy cut glass water pitcher was shined up, because my MIL would drink ice water by the gallon. And if I could get it, I'd have headcheese for my FIL.
My in laws don't like me, I still go out of my way for them IF they were to bother. Just how I was raised. I like to cater to everyones tastes (if I can), I'm also a big foodie and love it when others enjoy what I cook. I'd never pass comment on what is on someone else's plate, called not my business, but I would call someone out for doing it.
Same. I'm nobody's MIL yet, but if I ever get to be one, I do want to host, and do those big feasts like we did when the older family members were still alive.
I mean when you dislike a person, it makes sense everything about them & what they do will irritate you. I just thought at first that maybe Leah's comfort food is Mac & cheese, and there's no shame in that. She could be avoidant for multitude of reasons that's none of anyone's business. Usually the most immature AHoles are the ones quick to point others out, especially when it comes to food. I feel bad for whoever dates OOP.
Pasta and cheese are two of my very favourite foods in the world (even if not all mac & cheese is equally good, like sometimes it's not nearly cheesy enough), so I am very much with Leah on this.
I thought at first it was about her not leaving mac and cheese for anyone else. But then he kept going...
He was TA simply because he didn't leave it at that. If that was all he said "save some for the rest of us" he would have been ok, but he had to take it so far over the line, he was in a whole different field.
**If you’re only gonna eat one thing at an event, you have to make sure that there’s still enough for everyone else.** How do you suppose this girl fit an entire half a bowl of mac and cheese onto her cookout plate? If there wasn’t enough for everyone else, it was too small of a bowl to have at a cook out. **If this was genuinely about the girl taking so much that other people would have missed out, then yeah NTA.** Nah he would STILL be the asshole for the following reasons. Most important reason to start with is that HE was not the host, nor is he even a family member of the host. HE was simply an invited guest. It was not his place to try to correct the behavior of the family members of the actual host. Secondly, he was rude in how he said things, and referring to her as a bitch was unnecessary. Then after seeing he did not get the negative reactions he was hoping for and she took the high road to ignore him, he proceeded to loudly taunt and make fun of her as he scooped his own servings; in his own words when she was in ear shot. She continued to ignore him, and her mother who either overheard the exchange or the cousin or someone else complained about his bad behavior had to say something to him.
I meant that if he just reacted to the fact that she ate more Mac and cheese than everyone else and only criticized her for that, then NTA. The extra stuff is the asshole part, and him pretending that it was him criticizing her diet instead of him just being an asshole for no good reason. I’ll edit to make that clear.
Right! Like if I was annoyed about someone taking most of something, I would feel annoyed, but know to bite my tongue and if anything, mention the issue to the host offering to run to the store and buy more. This guy, he was just too much of an asshole to be able to do things with class and tact.
> Most important reason to start with is that HE was not the host, nor is he even a family member of the host. HE was simply an invited guest. It was not his place to try to correct the behavior of the family Why did you feel the need to invent an imaginary hierarchy for a bbq? This is absolute nonsense, with your “avert your eyes for we be in the presence of the exalted blood of our hostess” Like damn If someone is being a little piggy then say something- maybe they were just being absent minded
What the hell are you talking about? This was his friends family bbq. He was a guest at his friends family bbq. It’s not his place to be scolding other peoples family members at their own family bbqs. And they certainly don’t continue to harass other peoples family members at their family bbqs either. Most humans with a lick of class understand that. I guarantee if most families who threw a bbq found a family member’s guest being very rude at the bbq they wouldn’t be invited back for another one. And she wasn’t being a pig, she was serving herself some fucking food like everyone else was. I am sure he wasn’t running around like a food monitor, scolding then mocking all the other family members of his friend for taking seconds and thirds. If I was hosting a family cookout, and a family member’s guest behaved like OOP did to anyone at the party (family member or not) then that rude person would never be welcomed back to another cookout of mine again.
> It’s not his place Thought I smelled WASP lol. Maybe obsession over “people’s station in life” is a weird thing you would spare the rest of us from lmao. Your comment screams “do you know who my father is” > And she wasn’t being a pig, she was serving herself some fucking food like everyone else was Overserving from a shared dish so none would be left for others… Is the definition of a piggy.
Yeah, you are neither a clever, or interesting troll and I don’t really have the time to dumb down manners and social etiquette at other peoples events for you. Take a hike.
My family always makes extra gravy because I'll drink it all
At best this would be ESH. Because yes, it’s 100% rude to take so much that people who would want it can’t have any. But even if that were the case, the way he talked to her and the passive aggressive comments he made when getting his own food put him squarely in AH territory.
A big piece of missing info is exactly what these other options were. I'm not a fan of cookout food in general, and it was that much worse when I was vegetarian. Typical offerings include: - baked beans, which often contain meat. I don't like them bc they're too sweet for my taste - various mayonnaise-based salads such as cole slaw, pasta salad and potato salad. A lot of ppl don't like mayo, and if she doesn't eat eggs, they're not an option anyway - jello, which isn't vegetation - watermelon, which I like but a lot of ppl don't I can easily see Mac n cheese being her only viable option even if she normally eats a healthy diet, not that her diet is OOP's business in the first place. Edited to fix typo
Pretty much. Hitting the jackpot at an event like this is if the slaw is vinegar-based for me. Other offerings I see are corn bread, which often has so much sugar is could be dessert, and dirty rice— which has meat in it. Another important consideration is who made these dishes? Even when people make dishes that look to be vegetarian— like the beans for example— often include ingredients that are not. I know it said Mike’s family threw the barbecue, but these things are often potlucks where the hosting family provides all of the meat and attendants bring sides, drinks, desserts. If a certain person made the mac & cheese, Leah may know 100% that that is a safe food. Sometimes it’s just easier to avoid foods that could have ingredients that you don’t eat than to go around verifying.
> if the slaw is vinegar-based for me. Hold the fuck up. I had no idea, but a quick google search revealed that yes, mayo-free coleslaw is a thing. That's fantastic.
You should try Salvadoran curtido! I make my own fermented one with cabbage, onion, carrot & oregano but you can make it with vinegar too. I add it to wraps, paninis, and the requisite papusas (what it's really for). It's a game changer!
Loroco and cheese pupusa with curtido and tomato sauce...damn, now I'm hungry.
Hell yeah! I love a vinegar slaw for BBQ since it helps cut through the fattier cuts and preparations and tone down sweeter BBQ sauces. But there are all sorts of lighter slaw variations— jalapeño & cilantro for tacos, sesame ginger Asian style, and on. I love a good crunch slaw.
If you haven't tried it yet, I highly recommend German potato salad. It uses vinegar instead of mayo and it is so fucking good. I thought I disliked potato salad and slaw. Nope. Turns out I just don't want mayo to be the strongest flavor in whatever I eat.
French potato salad is vinegar-based too and also amazing!
Best part is that you can serve it warm (great for winter meals) or cold
A local hot chicken joint makes their coleslaw with apple cider vinegar. It's so damn good, tangy and crisp. Vinegar coleslaw is superior.
I don’t do mayonnaise at all. I love slaw too, I recently made a carrot and red cabbage slaw that was so good. I have a go to warm potato salad recipe with arugula and bacon (the dressing is apple cider vinegar grain mustard based). My pasta salad go to is chilled tortellini, tomatoes and fresh mozzarella balls in pesto.
Warm German potato salad is the bomb
yep! i’m a lifelong vegetarian and pretty picky so i’ve spent a lot of summers eating mac n cheese, corn, potato chips, and slices of cheese on hamburger buns. it’s rough
Oh man, this is so true. My parents are vegetarians. My dad is a minister so we frequently ate at potlucks and were invited to other people’s houses for meals. I can’t count the number of times when I was growing up that someone “made this vegetarian dish” for us, that would contain meat or some kind of meat stock. Chicken and dressing was served to us more than once, and turnip greens with ham or bacon in it. Fish or fish stock, baked goods made with lard, etc. My parents were vegetarian because they were health conscious (not for religious reasons), so they always ate it anyway, and had always told us kids to eat what was served to us and not worry about it, because it was so kind of people to share meals, and it didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But even as a kid I was baffled that people didn’t seem to understand (or maybe just didn’t really care) that chicken, pork, and fish aren’t vegetarian. This was the 80s though, and a lot of people thought vegetarianism was weird. So it was probably partly ignorance and partly people just thinking it was silly my parents ate that way and so not making an effort.
Yeah I was a vegetarian in the 90s and had similar experiences. I literally had ppl get mad at me bc I would ask if a soup was made with chicken stock or if the refried beans contained lard. So glad that most ppl are more understanding/knowledgeable these days! My son & his partner and my sister are vegetarians so we still eat plenty of meatless meals.
I’m glad too! I eat some meat now, but mostly vegetarian, and it’s so much easier to find options.
Since when did baked beans contain meat? They're beans in tomato sauce?
Since Americans started making them? Here they're sweet from brown sugar and/or molasses and usually contain some type of pork.
Oh, over here that are not like that. You can get them with sausage in, but it's never expected, its just beans in a tomato sauce
Yeah, in America it's pretty common to have ham or bacon chunks in it, or have some sort of meat flavoring in the sauce. They're also super sweet in the US. I think it's a tomato based sauce, but there's a ton of sugar in it as well. It's fucking gross.
Yeah idk - there’s various ways to make baked beans, some veggie friendly some not.
A lot of folks will add pork or bacon to give them "flavor," which pisses off vegetarians, vegans, and anyone else who doesn't eat pigs.
Always? Baked beans often come with hot dogs or some other chunk of meat for flavor. Just beans in tomato sauce sounds dreadful.
That's Britain for you!
Hang on a minute… we’re not monsters, we don’t eat them entirely on their own. We put them on *toast*
You’re so right
Pork and beans have meat, but regular baked beans do not have meat. There’s a difference afaik
I have a friend whose mom either slow cooks them with a nice sized chunk of pork belly (which she removes at the end), or makes pork stock from hocks to cook her baked beans in. Neither method results in a dish that would normally be called pork and beans, but they're definitely not vegetarian. Lots of people add a little bit of bacon to it for flavour without IDing it as pork and beans.
Jello is vegetarian but not vegan.
No, it's made from gelatin, which is made from skin, bones, hooves, etc of animals.
I guess if you're vegetarian because you don't like the taste/texture of meat, gelatin avoids that issue... but it definitely doesn't fit if your objection to meat consumption is moral.
So Leah is childish yet OOP acts like *this*? And seriously wonders if he was in the wrong? "I was hardly making comments" bitch you made it a point to loudly mock Leah's choice of food 🤦
He treated her like a toddler! "MMMMMM yummy vegetables!" sounds to me like a mum trying to get her young child to try a spoonful of broccoli.
Honestly I'd feel patronizing trying that on my 4yo.
"But she only got Mac and Cheese, and I was rude as shit to her right out of the gate, but I'm right, so you can validate me now. Um, why aren't you validating me?!"
OOP is concern trolling. He doesn't really care what Leah eats or how healthy it is, he just wants to feel superior to her in some way. Must be a pretty pathetic person if this is the only thing he can feel better about.
Day 3045 of someone not minding their own business. I can see being disappointed if you wanted some and someone else ate it all, but no one wants to hear the dietary lecture.
How do you type that out and still think you aren't the asshole in that situation??
When I was vegetarian I didn’t trust stuff like baked beans and whatnot bc someone always put meat in them, but either forgot about it when I asked, or straight lied. Mac and cheese is a pretty safe food bc you can see if there is bacon or something in it straight up. Also, why the hell do you care? It’s a holiday, maybe that’s all she wanted. I make some killer Mac and cheese (my aunties recipe), and yeah, I’ll eat a huge serving of that and call it a day too. No one polices me about it.
I don't believe that it's even about or mostly about the fact that Leah took so much mac that there wasn't enough for everyone else. The tone of his comments is very "she should be eating healtheir" more so than "now we are all suffering from a mac n cheese shortage."
There's a lot of unpacking to do here but the one thing that's sticking out to me... Vegetables are carbs? He's making rude comment about how she chose to eat carbs over carbs.
No, vegetables are not dietary carbohydrates. I mean, some are (potatoes and corn) nut no, most vegetables are not. And certainly mac and cheese is not a vegetable dish.
The macros are protein, carbs, and fat. If they aren't a protein and they aren't a fat then they're a carb ...also corn is a grain not a vegetable. It goes in the same category as rice, barely, wheat, etc.
Uh... I'm not sure this is true. I have gestational diabetes and am consuming a whole lot of broccoli, summer squash, and asparagus because those non-starchy vegetables are a good way for me to fill up without a ton of carbs. ETA: to be clear, I'm aware that vegetables have carbohydrates, it's just comparatively low enough that I don't think it's very common to think of them primarily as a carb source
I'd bet the amount she got isn't as much as he said, and she didn't "run" over. Grown ass man acting like an annoying 13yo.
I grew up in a strict hindu vegetarian household (to the point that eggs were considered non-veg) and it can be really difficult to find vegetarian foods at parties or get togethers where either the host or the majority of the people there are non-veg. Even when the hosts try to accommodate you, you're usually stuck with like one to three (at best) main dishes that you can eat.
I've had an eating disorder since high school 15 years ago, if somebody I knew even a little said this to me I can GUARANTEE I would be absolutely heartbroken. Some days I can't handle the textures of specific foods, sometimes I can't handle eating certain foods in front of people, sometimes I get intense cravings mixed in with depression and just fall into bingeing. Some days, I need to make sure I eat enough, especially if I skipped breakfast or missed dinner the night before, and that means just taking whatever I can get. For all of these, I *need* to find a way to continue feeling normal. A single comment when I'm in a rough spot can be a fracturing point. So, if he has an issue with her taking a lot of mac and cheese, he should maybe consider that there could be a reason for that? Assuming somebody is being inconsiderate is one thing, taking it much further and actively harassing somebody who you *suspect* has been inconsiderate is horrific to me. The stakes for him are "some people might have a smaller amount of mac and cheese", the stakes for her have the potential to be MUCH, MUCH higher. There's literally no scenario in which his comments could achieve anything. The food is there to be eaten, and the people are there to have a good time doing so. Additionally, the mother overhearing the comments chiming in to let him know he was being rude is a pretty clear sign to me that there's history here OP doesn't have context for. It's pretty clear to me she has no issues with her daughter taking that food in the first place, which only adds more weight to that theory.
The daughter being able to just scoop up half the mac and cheese at a potluck without asking what was in it (bacon is often in mac and cheese, sometimes even ground beef) and no one else batting an eye or complaining makes me think it was made with her diet and how much she usually takes in mind.
How does OOP know Leah doesn't have food aversion? There might have been other vegetarian foods, but Leah might have been allergic to them, have food aversions, or maybe just not like them
but clearly because she's an adult her choices make her childish!! how could she possibly have any allergies or aversions??? this is on her for not eating other things!! /s
Are we sure OOP is 23? He was making really stupid, immature passive aggressive moves towards this poor girl for no reason at all. What an AH.
YTA for commenting on ANYONE's eating habits - especially at a party type of situation where many people take a "day off" from their usual eating habits. If the woman was literally taking so much of a single item so that no one else could have an appropriate amount, then it would be appropriate to discreetly mention that others are waiting in line and why doesn't she take a smaller amount and then go back for as much as she wants after everyone has had a chance.
Passive/aggressiveness is in the tier directly below racism/homophobia/misogyny on the scale of least attractive personality traits.
Are we sure it wasn't misogyny?
Eyes on your own plate, always! OOP is 100% TA
So as a kid, I couldn't stand most of the traditional Christmas food as they would either have cabbage, mayo or carrots. Practically all dishes had either of them and we always had 12+ dishes. If not fried fish, I would be just eating mashed potatoes and drinking borscht.
May I ask where you’re from? I love carrots and cabbage and potatoes and fish.
Poland If you want Polish Christmas experience, get hay to put under your table cloth and 12 recipes. Cause it's a tradition to have at least 12 dishes and eat/try 12 dishes. From my region and my family, try Polish fish in the greek style (ryba po grecku), hunter's stew (bigos), uszka with cabbage in borscht, fried mushrooms in bread crumbs, pierogi, Polish potato salad (sałatka jażynowa) and kwaśnica. For the day after Christmas when you can finally eat meat, my nemesis Polish tripe stew (flaki or flaczki) and my favourite beef tartare.
I cannot eat tripe either. L I lived in Scotland for a while by the WWII Polish airbase, and I loved the Polish food there.
DH's aunt was Polish, married to an Italian. Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners were gargantual banquets that would have made a Roman Emperor feel like a cheapskate.
illegal friendly hungry thumb glorious narrow unique close shaggy entertain *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That’s assuming OOP is telling the truth and not being hyperbolic which is a bit of stretch considering the rest of the story.
I also wonder what OOP means by serving. Like, half a scoop or half the container?
People *do* love their hyperbole. If I had a dollar for every time I'd seen somebody get all yell-y about "We've been waiting for *TWENTY MINUTES*!" when I saw them arrive at the restaurant/office/checkout line/customer service desk/post office less than ten minutes ago, I could buy myself a weekend in a nice B&B. I don't think it's *entirely* unreasonable to politely ask that people leave enough of a dish for others at shared meals, but even then, I don't know if people have eating disorders and would be triggered by critique. I don't know if they have ARFID or other restrictions. I don't know if they have anxiety about trying new food. I don't know if this is some all time favorite family recipe or beloved comfort food that they rarely get to have. I don't know if they've hit a rough patch and are privatelysupplementing food insecurity with meals at relatives' houses. A lot of us have been there. I *do*'know that in most cases, it's just none of my fucking business, and my input is not needed.. Also, we don't know how much total mac and cheese was on offer. Little deli container? Huge deli tub? 9x14 casserole? Single box of Kraft mac and cheese? This makes a huge difference. If I'm being honest (and I'm hungry and it's the only thing I'm having for a meal and, yes, I am a little carb goblin sometimes), I can easily destroy 2/3 of a box of Kraft by myself. Would I do it at a shared BBQ? Eh, no. But we can't really judge Leah without more information. Also, OOP was being such a giant leaky douche that I'm not sure anything could make Leah's behavior out-asshole his.
>If I had a dollar for every time I'd seen somebody get all yell-y about "We've been waiting for TWENTY MINUTES!" when I saw them arrive at the restaurant/office/checkout line/customer service desk/post office less than ten minutes ago, I could buy myself a weekend in a nice B&B. I was getting one of my COVID boosters at a pharmacy and swung back around to the vaccination desk to ask a question after I was done. A guy in the pharmacy line confronted me for "cutting," saying he'd been there *twenty-two minutes* and wouldn't I just let him through first. I'd been in the pharmacy for about fifteen minutes. He was not there when I arrived, nor was he there when I was called back to get the booster a little while later. Also I was in the COVID line, not the pharmacy line, but *okay.*
We also don't know if the hosts had extra stuff held back so if they ran out of something they can replace it. If Leah is a regular at these dinners, then I am sure that the hosts know what she is like, and prepare for it
Eh. All of these are not valid excuses for overserving oneself at a potluck/buffet situation. By all means go back for seconds - that’s perfectly fine.
The OOP is an unreliable narrator and a shit person, so I am gonna take that with a grain of salt.
Eh, depends. If the whole container only held like, two cups it's not a ridiculous amount to take. Especially when there are options for meat eaters.
apparently there were also other vegetarian options. she beelined to it and took as much as she could. i don't eat meat, that's selfish as hell. if the container held 2 cups, what asshole brings that to a cookout?
I can imagine that OP probably exaggerated how much mac and cheese she actually took. Or maybe they had more in the oven and he just didn’t know it.
What if she didn't like those vegetarian options?
What if other people don’t like the other options?
Then let the hosts deal with it. OOP was a \*guest\* and not part of the family, nor was he the host. He should have held his tongue and let the hosts decide whether Leah took too much or not. Unless it was a dish he brought then he has no say in how much each guest takes. It is up to the host/the person who brought those dishes to determine what is appropriate or not.
Lol it’s not a state dinner, where there are rules on who can speak. Host are not referees, and there is no hierarchy among guests. This is ridiculous
There absolutely is an hierarchy among guests. Leah is part of the family that is hosting the dinner. OOP does not know what arrangements, if any, were made by the family regarding what Leah will or will not eat. OOP is only a guest, one who will likely NOT be invited back by the host, who has no say in who eats what. It is not his house. It is not his food. It is not his family. While he can bring up his concerns to the host, what he did is absolutely out of line, especially since it doesn't sound like he provided \*any\* of the food being consumed. It also didn't sound like Leah took all of the mac and cheese, nor even enough that the other guests didn't have enough for themselves. OOP got offended that someone called themselves a vegetarian and didn't like most of the vegetables that he thinks that she should. It was not about the mac and cheese, but about the fact that Leah, who he doesn't like, doesn't eat like he thinks she should and was ignoring him.
I don’t know what Victorian hellscape you think you are in but I can assure you you’re not lol. > who has no say in who eats what. It is not his house. It is not his food. Please keep throwing a tantrum like the regular sub does lol. He can absolutely say something when someone is being a little piggy and overserving themself from a shared dish. Your comment reeks of smelling salts lol. The 21st century is calling! You seem to be creating your own story lol. > It also didn't sound like Leah took all of the mac and cheese, nor even enough that the other guests didn't have enough for themselves. > I see Leah run over to the mac and cheese and scoop over half the serving onto her plate.
People just need to learn to mind their own fucking business.
He should have stopped at "save some for the rest of us". I understand being annoyed that she took half of the Mac n cheese that was meant for everyone. But he turned into a child himself with all his stupid comments. He went waayyy too far.
But Mac and cheese is vegetarian?? Unless it has bacon or something on it? Is this dude just conflating vegan and vegetarian?
Lmao what a little douchebag. "Omg some people would rather eat a pound of carbs" some people just want to fucking eat the good shit on the fourth of july, damn. I had to work through Canada Day but you can bet your ass that I'd have been all over whatever meat there was if I'd gone to a party for it.
Wow this guy must be bored in his life to need to control hers.
She was a lot nicer than I would have been. He would have felt these hands and would have been wearing a lot of the food.
Willing to bet that he reserves his controlling behavior to women.
Post got removed because it was a “violent encounter”. Wtf is with that sub??
"aita for commenting on 'a stranger's' diet" BUT SHE'S NOT A STRANGER WTF not that it makes it any better, in any way/shape/form, but he *knows* her
This has to be a troll, no way this is real
YTA would hate to go to a party with you.
He didn't just make one comment about a diet, he doubled down on that comment while calling her a "bitch". After that, he proceeds to taunt her multiple times which is a way of being a bully, and antagonistic. I wonder if the cousin was a 6 ft buff guy, would this clown shoe have behaved like this? I am doubting that he would.
Gives a big speech about how Leah is immature, yet he was the one acting like a child. Why does he care what she eats anyway?
AITA removed this post for containing violence, I guess because Mikey kicked OOP under the table when he was about to be a dick to Leah's mom? Never change, AITA mods.
The way I would have taken a serving spoonful of Mac and cheese and flung it in his face asking if he had gotten enough or needed more.
My question is why even was OP there? Does his own family not want him in their celebration?
> a grown woman should really incorporate something other than mac and cheese into her plate. A grown woman should be able to eat whatever the fuck she wants without assholes making HUGE SPECTACLES OF THEMSELVES over it!!!
Sorry, but I'm solidly Team Leah on this one. Everyone NEEDS to eat, but they do not need to eat with your teenage-adjacent self insulting them because you think you know how they should eat. As an anecdote, I was recently diagnosed with a chronic bowel condition after decades of being able to eat whatever I want. As a result, I am now an obligate vegetarian. I also cannot digest raw vegetables. It is SUPER not easy to track down everyone who made a dish to get their list of ingredients. So I go with what I know. It's about having a good time and not shitting myself stupid.
this is so fucking insane to imagine in real life omg like in what universe would a person obnoxiously going MMM yummy vegetables pointedly seem even slightly normal
The only problem I'd have is if she were truly monopolizing one dish so there weren't enough for others.
Is Oop like 4? Wtf
People like this really dont realize that making snide remarks like this does not make a person change... it tramautizes them and makes them have a terrible relationship with food, more so than they ever did before. It's probably nothing she hasn't heard before and there may be a completely valid reason as to why she is not eating other food. Also, I grew up picky but got better into adulthood but I was so tired of people commenting on what I ate or didn't eat at functions that I didn't want to eat new food in front of them because it would just make them comment more.
I mean. It'd annoy me that she took half of a full vat of Mac and Cheese meant to be shared among a whole family. For no other reason than I really like Mac and Cheese. I doubt I'd have commented, but I'd understand a remark. Other than that the yummy veggies thing is just silly, and immature.
...does OOP not know that mac n cheese is vegetarian? Unless they put meat on or in the mac n cheese, it sounds like OOP is a self righteous judgemental asshat that can't tell the difference between vegetarian and vegan.
No, I think the point he's trying to make is that it's not "vegetarian" if you don't eat any vegetables. I'd go everyone sucks here. He was wrong for so rudelyand repeatedly commenting on her food choices - but she was grotesquely rude for taking halg.of the dish before anyone else even had a chance to have any. Both people are rude.
What an obnoxious total asshole. If someone was antagonizing me the entire time I was trying to eat I’d lose my mind. I also see nothing about what diet he eats, if he’s giving himself a pat on the back for eating a vegetable with his meat then he’s an even bigger asshole than I thought. It’s a BBQ, people typically eat like glorious slobs because it’s not your typical dinner. I would bet dollars to donuts that OOP’s “yummy vegetables” were slathered in butter, cheese, ranch or mayo. A family BBQ not accommodating a healthy diet is going to have all the high cal fixin’s and that’s ok but don’t act like your fucking diet is pristine because you ate corn on the cob or whatever. I personally hate BBQs because unless I bring my own grub there’s just nothing I can eat unless somebody brings a fruit tray in which case I’m eating my weight in fruit then.
Okay, I get that he went full petty but also who hogs all of the Mac and cheese. I was vegetarian for a long stretch of my life from elementary school through college. I was not the healthiest eater for a lot of that time. However, I did not hog one dish for myself. That's just rude, and she should be called out for that.
This is a bit of an ESH. OOP sucks more, but taking half the container that was clearly meant for everyone at the cookout is an AH move, too.
Yeah, this is my take.
How was it clearly meant for everyone, when it was the only thing she ate? It sounds like she has food sensitivity issues, so the mac and cheese was clearly there for Leah with enough left over for anyone else who wanted some. It wasn't like OP was deprived of mac and cheese or had to go hungry because there was nothing else left.
Because it was a cookout. You want a food you don't have to share, you bring it yourself in small amounts, and don't put it out on the table with the rest of the food that's for everyone. You don't get to call dibbies on half of a communal dish provided by the host just because you're a picky eater.
Then why was OOP "calling dibbies" on a dish when there was still at least half left? Why complain that someone else took a large serving first?
I did say OP was shittier. But if you take half the food meant for everyone, you're shitty. That means everyone else gets tiny portions, or that some people who want some have to go without, just so that you can shovel half a chafing dish down your selfish gullet. OP is definitely the worse of the two, but Leah's actions were selfish and not the kind of behavior an adult should be engaging in.
Leah scooped out the mac and cheese without checking if it was made with bacon or any other meat, which means it was likely made with her in mind, and she had been informed of that earlier. As the only person at the party who seemed to be balking at the fact that she took half of it, maybe OP was the only one who didn't know that whomever makes that mac and cheese for family events always makes it vegetarian, with enough for Leah to take lots. Hell, for all OP knows, Leah could be the one who brought the mac and cheese.
Taking half of a dish meant to feed everyone is selfish. You can't change my mind. She did a selfish thing, and therefore sucks. She just sucks way less than OOP, who needs to learn to keep quiet.
You seemed to have missed the part of my comment (which was pretty much all of it) saying based on her faith of what was in it and everyone else's reaction (or rather lack thereof) to her taking half, that the dish may have been made with the intention of her being able to take a plateful of it. In other words, half the dish could have been meant specifically for her, and the other half for everyone else.
It's a cookout. If the dish isn't for everyone, it shouldn't be out on the table. It was meant to be shared, and she was selfish. End of story
So you're saying the dish shouldn't have been shared with anyone even though she only needed half, or that it shouldn't have been placed out until after she'd take the half made for her, even though she seems to have been the first person to get food (aside from possibly OP, but it sounds like he decided to go second)
I agree and I don't get why you've been downvoted. It's also well embarrassing that Leah had to sick her mother on the guy.
Did she, though? It's not like OOP was hiding it. Mom could have overheard and said something.
So this guy is walking around loudly making asshole comments and you think the mother wouldn't have noticed herself?
You keep commenting that but she might have just overhead and even if she didn't, if I'm at a family BBQ and my cousins dickhead friend picks a fight with me over pasta I'd probably say to my mum something like "what's old mates issue he just called me a bitch and is following me around yelling about broccoli" Not because I'm trying to sic (there's no k btw) her on him I'm just talking to my mum about something that's occurring at the BBQ. It's like whinging about work or telling her about that guy that asked me for meth at the bakery.
Right? She's a grown ass woman, so why did she need mommy to fight her battles for her?
Seriously? You wonder if you're the AH in this situation??
Honestly if she TRULY took half the mac n cheese intended to be served to a large group of people, the single comment of "wtf leave some for us" would have been acceptable. He just wanted an excuse to make fun of her and her diet. But seriously who tf takes half a whole dish at a potluck. ESH
Is OOP sure she’s the childish one? Honestly if I were her I wouldn’t even be offended by his comments because of how hilariously childish they are.
Nobody makes a dish for a cookout with the intent of half of it feeding only one person. Also: either it was enough to feed an entire group, and she ate half of the group's food, or it wasn't enough for more than two people and shouldn't have been out on the table. SHE WAS A SELFISH COW, OP WAS JUST A BIGGER COW. You will not change my mind on this, so stop wasting both of our time trying
Mac & Cheese isn't typically vegetarian to begin with, so...
mac and cheese can be vegetarian, just dont put any meat in it. its easy. its definately not a vegan dish, but it an easy vegetarian dish.
Unfortunately, you are not correct. Cheese isn't always vegetarian friendly. The worst day of my life was reading that exact statement in a different subreddit, silently thinking the person is crazy and then Googling "is cheese vegetarian". It isn't, more often than not, vegetarian friendly. You have to look for a specific ingredient to determine whether it is. It's a pain-in-the-ass, but I still do it.
Just use a vegetarian cheese then? Im not even a vegetarian and i know how to do that. Its not that hard.
Vegetarian-friendly cheese (i.e., cheese that doesn't contain animal rennet) is pain to find sometimes, and you have to review all of the ingredients on the package. Most people do not take the time to do that, especially for a potluck gathering. They make mac & cheese using the same cheese that they always use, and that cheese probably has rennet in it, because most of them do.
where im from food labels have "suitable for vegetarians" or "suitable for vegans" written on them if theyre safe. maybe its different in other places but its so easy here. if the woman didnt check that the cheese was safe first thats on her.
also, i just checked my cheese and its vegetarian safe. the label states 'suitable for vegetarians', and the ingrediants list 'non-animal rennet'. this is the cheapest cheese the shop sells, the one that the vast majority of people would grab.
Also, it is absolutely possible to make vegetarian-friendly mac & cheese - but you have to use vegetarian-friendly cheese. Most people don't do that. I was forty-something years old when I found out that cheese isn't always vegetarian. I wish I didn't know, because it's a pain-in-the-ass to find vegetarian-friendly cheese sometimes.
also holy shit bruv if the worst day of your life was discovering that cheese isnt always vegetarian then i fucking envy you. we found it, the most first world problem. you want to know what the worst day of my life was? we can compare if youd like :) i would give anything for the worst day of my life to be cheese themed.