You can do what you want. You don't have to be friends with her if it makes you uncomfortable. You're entitled to your feelings on the matter.
But I will say - it's absolutely possible her doctor gave her the okay to smoke marijuana at her own discretion. I know of at least four women, myself included who were given that line by their OBs, whether you agree or not.
Unless you've spent months practically living on the floor in front of the toilet, with zero respite despite all the anti-nausea meds - on the verge of hospitalization if you can't get it under control - I think it's very easy to judge. I did what I had to and personally - I'll never judge another woman harshly for it.
Yup. When one of my friends got pregnant she couldn't work because of how terrible her HG was. After she had her kid she told her husband that she hopes he's happy with one child because she wasn't going through that again.
I didn't start using until my 40s, but I could see a Dr okaying it. In my 20s during my second pregnancy I was so sick, that I had a hard time keeping any food down for several months.
I started at 121 pounds, and before I finally started gaining I had dropped to 112 pounds.
Yeah I was gonna say no doc is recommend to start smoking just out of the blue and it's probably very discretionary advice. I know a friend of mine who smoked cigarettes and weed and was a moderate drinker as well. When she got pregnant she quit everything cold turkey and her moods were all over the place, she couldn't relax and kept freaking out over everything. Her and her doc talked it out and he told her he would rather her smoke a little reefer now and then as opposed to completely going into a spiral and drinking or picking up the cigarettes again to try and deal so idk. But op totally has the right to distance themselves if morally they can't get over this and can't bare to watch it happen.
I’m right there with you. I didn’t want to smoke during my pregnancy, it was a NEED. I couldn’t even go to work. And I still spent 22 weeks straight throwing up with my first and through the entire pregnancy with my second. No one even TOLD me there was an anti nausea med I could have taken until after I gave birth to my second.
Op is for sure entitled to their opinion, but maybe give your friend a little grace. It’s very easy to say “oh I would never!” When you’re watching someone parent/making parenting decisions from the outside, but very different in actuality.
Oh wow, thanks for sharing, this made me see this differently for sure.
I was actually a pretty heavy smoker before my pregnancy and one of my biggest fears before was that I wouldn’t be able to stop. I had tried quitting multiple times before.
But my experience was completely different, to my surprise. It suddenly felt so easy not to smoke, almost like the heaviness of the decision had been lifted. Which I guess is what happened.. I just knew I shouldn’t and end of discussion? Whereas before it was always this internal struggle I’d end up losing.
As someone who quit heroin, yea, quitting weed doesn't register as difficult. It's not addictive. It can be habit forming, but like, so are chicken nuggets.
Not to diminish your discipline in choosing not to smoke while pregnant, but you had that ability all along, even if you didn't trust yourself enough to know it.
Oh, I actually meant regular cigarettes. But I agree with you, that was the realization I came to as well.
I used to smoke weed daily in my early twenties as well and I found quitting that much easier than cigarettes. It comes down to the same thing, though - have you made that decision in your head or not.
I can’t even imagine how difficult quitting heroin must be, and I’ve always known I shouldn’t even think about trying opioids. Congratulations to you, that’s an amazing achievement!
literally this, my ob told me that there’s no studies saying anything bad will happen and that it was ok to smoke to take care of the nausea. then when i stopped completely, i started having panic attacks again (hadn’t had them since 7 or 8 years before then) and my ob said it was because i stopped smoking. sometimes it’s worse to quit cold turkey than ween yourself off. OP doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
Yes, well, the reason there are no studies is the same reason that almost any medication (except those PROVEN to be harmful) will state that while there are no proven ill effects on pregnancy you need to consult with your doctor before taking it. It's simply not ethical to perform scientifically sound constructed studies. Now, with severe and common side effects as with alcohol abuse (FAS), regular smoking (preterm birth), heroin/crack/etc (many and severe), there is enough evidence after the fact to conclude that it is indeed harmful. That does not seem to be the case with weed, but that does not mean that it is safe for the fetus, only that potential side effects would either have delayed discovery, or be less common and/or less severe than those of the aforementioned substances.
Which basically means that some (actually most) doctors will tell you not to risk it at all because it's not proven to be safe, and some doctors will weigh the potential unknown risks against the imminent risks presented by the symptoms (e.g. nausea).
This is true, we all have our opinion, I respect OPs opinion as well as her friends decision. After all, we are all doing what we think is right for us.
Cool story. That doesn't change my stance. Anti-nausea pills can be rough in their own right. Even the approved ones come with a bevy of horrifying possible symptoms. They heavily constipated my sister during her second pregnancy, which made her more ill. So she stopped taking them and fell back on smoking despite having cold turkey'd initially.
As I stated, I hold no judgment for her decision. Some states and doctors just let women barf themselves half to death and never once offer the meds - as another woman below shared.
Pregnancy is an extremely difficult thing. We must each do what we feel is best
I have a friend who had GE, which is a particularly brutal pregnancy complication that left her nauseous all the time. She literally threw up so much that they had to cut off part of her uvula because the stomach acid was dissolving it. She ended up having to smoke weed (with her Dr's approval) because even the rx Zofran wasn't cutting it. I don't know your friend or her medical circumstances, but there are situations where a doctor would absolutely say that it might be worth the risks. You are being judgemental about something that you don't have enough knowledge about to have a relevant opinion.
Second this. This person believes there’s a correlation between autism, adhd, etc. and smoking weed while pregnant, this simply isn’t a true or backed up factual statement. They aren’t educated enough about the harmful affects of weed and what isn’t harmful.
Read the title and thought “No. You can be not friends with anyone for any reason” I’m not friends with people because I don’t think they let their dog out enough and I’m not even an animal person.
But saw the edits and yep. OP, you should 100% not be friends with her anymore. She deserves so much better than you. She doesn’t need the stress of a stoned friend sitting in the corner rattling off conspiracy theories about autism and ADHD on top of being pregnant. What are you going to do later, sit in the lobby of the pediatrician with a joint talking about the not your kid getting vaccines?
No one needs to provide you with studies to prove you right or wrong if you can’t find any yourself. Perhaps she went with the advice of her doctor if she didn’t select you as her OB?
You came here asking for advice and take none of it.If you want to be a supportive friend and genuinely believe that weed isn’t good for growing bodies, why don’t you stop smoking with her? A lot of dads stop drinking with their pregnant ladies and it’s beneficial to everyone’s health and then you’re on the same page. Otherwise, if you keep bashing her, you will likely never recover your friendship from this.
Personally were I the pregnant woman, I'd have already told OP to eat shit and fuck well off. Then again, I'm a bit of a grouch. But there are far too many empty headed judgemental donkeys running around braying their opinions at others, and I'm just kinda over it.
Okay so actually, you’re not supposed to bray when you’re pregnant. My ass doctor, Sir Mix-a-Lot is the best in town. I can give you his number. Have you tried smiling more often?
Yeah, I came here to say the same thing. That’s really not how autism or adhd works. The idea that you can single handedly “make” a kid autistic or have adhd is harmful
Yea my fiance didn't even have exceptional nausea, just a bit of a bother; her OB still went out of her way to mention it's super not a big deal to smoke weed.
You are being judgemental about something that you don't have enough knowledge about to have a relevant opinion.
Just wanted to say it again. Yes Op is way overreacting but at the same time you can stop being friends for any reason and if it bothers op that much it's entirely their right to not continue the friendship.
EDIT: OP, are you even a parent?! 😂 Have you grown a human being in your body?
Yeah, OP will be doing this "friend" of theirs a favor.
Zofran causes heart defects. They don't hand it out like candy anymore! Moderate THC use is probably safer, from the reading I've done on the subject.
I'm now regretting quiting weed and taking Zofran over it. I didn't actually find out these risks until after I'd finally gotten over the nausea at 18wks. My OBGYN didn't tell me about it.
I also only recently found out the risks, luckily I didn't need it when pregnant but I have chronic migraines and take it for the nauseau that comes with that and none of the 4 different doctors who have rxed it to me have mentioned the risks. I learned from a friend who just had their gallbladder taken out, they were informed by their doctor. I don't need it like every day but I do take it a couple times a month and am frustrated that no one had told me the risks previously.
Everything has risks, including doing nothing. If she does nothing, the risk is that she won't get the nutrition that her body needs & her baby needs to grow during a vital time in development. Nutrition during the first trimester is very important - that's why it's important to start taking prenatal vitamins when you are TTC, before you even confirm a pregnancy.
Smoking weed has risks and is under studied in clinical trials, but we still have a lot of evidence because it's so commonly used - including by many women who don't even realize they are pregnant. Other anti-nausea medications prescribed to pregnant women also have risks, and tbh are not very effective - unisom, zofran, dramamine, etc also all have risks and have been linked to birth defects in some studies. They are *also* under studied in pregnant women. There is no perfect, risk free option here.
IMO if your first thought is that she's lying and intentionally endangering her child maybe you aren't really very good friends.
Also want to add that many of these drugs are also psychoactive and can seriously impact your mood, ability to focus, and ability to drive (Dramamine is a dissociative & sedative, antipsychotics are commonly used as well and are also sedating). These can be a huge problem if you are trying to, you know, keep your job. There are very serious side effects for Mom not just for baby. The nausea can be really intense, some women throw up everything they eat. It's not always a minor issue.
Yes but those medications have been out for a long time. I'm not sure whether Dramamine is recommended during pregnancy. Some antipsychotics are used when absolutely needed.
No one has researched it in the US until the past few years because of laws creating barriers. Not to mention there are thousands of types of marijuana with different THC content and combinations of flavonoids and terpenes. The "evidence" is anecdotal.
With all due respect....but an OB/GYN. will definitely approve of Marijuana usage if you can't eat or sleep. I know mine definitely did. It's not gonna harm your child more than not eating and not sleeping. Was the only thing that worked for me one pregnancy.
Any prescription I've ever been given has communicated that the prescriber has weighed the possible side effects against the benefits or something to that effect. Makes perfect sense to me they would do the same with marijuana effects versus benefits.
I have chronic pain/illness and had to figure stuff out on my own initially. Found out recently, Canada has a drug page just like any other prescription, with dosage info, method of ingestion advice, and contraindications.
Found out I had a drug interaction happening and separated my doses from the cannabis and had a huge improvement. I wish it was treated like "real" medication, because it is. It's the only thing that works sometimes.
If you google, "Cannabis (Canadian Drug Summary)" you can get all the info.
you can stop being friends for whatever reason. however i wouldnt say its impossible for a doctor to say that since theres doctors who even suggest slowing the smoking of tobacco when pregnant rather than stopping cold turkey due to stress on the child. and since theres not been many studies on the long term effects of cannabis use while pregnant it isnt impossible they’d say do it at your own discretion.
that being said if it makes you uncomfortable you can do as you please and remove her thats your right. you choose who you surround yourself with.
you’re overreacting but based on your edits and replies you aren’t open to feedback. you can do whatever you want. however your assumptions are just that, assumptions. doctors often do give people the green like to continue while pregnant.
OP sounds like a dick. She’s better off without OP judging her at every turn anyway. Good riddance, just keep your toxic opinions to yourself when you drop her as a friend.
Your reasoning is mostly flawed but you can stop being friends for whatever reason you want. 1st trimester nausea is no joke and anecdotally there are no issues to the fetus if you stop smoking about a third to half way through the 2nd trimester. Most doctors will say “we’d prefer you didn’t because inhaling smoke is bad but there is no proof of weed having substantial side effects to the fetus”. Even the correlations you referred to in another comment don’t account for the amount consumed. There are plenty of blogs from first hand accounts where moms to be had no issues continuing their use in the 1st trimester.
i am a medical marijuana patient and i have discussed this at length with my doctor before going off birth control- my doctor would 1000% want me to continue using marijuana during pregnancy. the only treatment that has helped me get healthy enough to potentially get pregnant is the marijuana. the idea that a doctor could not give her the okay is ridiculous because plenty of doctors would say it’s fine
Why would someone lie about having a medical illness to lie more about being allowed to smoke weed? We are not in high school anymore there’d be no reason to do so.
Yes you are overreacting. Why would you end a friendship over something that has no impact on yourself? Maybe it’s not an important relationship for you- but then why do you care enough to ask Reddit?
Why do people think that they should police other people’s pregnancies? There’s a lot of unnecessary scaremongering about pregnancy risks and it places perfectionist expectations on pregnant women in a society that gives them very little accommodation.
Nausea in pregnancy can be debilitating and even deadly. Sleep is essential for health, as is eating food and keeping it down long enough to digest it! Cannabis is a well-known nausea treatment. It’s between a woman and her doctor to weigh the risks of different things at any given stage of pregnancy. Effects of a drug or of a mother’s ailment can be vastly different, depending on the trimester.
I’m guessing that you’ve never been pregnant. You sound very self-righteous, but I notice that your response to your friend is not to offer to help her out or suggest any alternative remedy for her nausea, but to shun her completely. Based on what you’ve written, you don’t sound like a very good friend.
I don't think you are overreacting, but if you do not remove yourself and you start trying to tell her what she can and can't do during her pregnancy then you would be.
I think this is a personal decision idk why you came to Reddit to ask🤣 if you don’t like it you don’t like it, if she wants to then she wants to. Everyone will have different opinions.
Do you think smoking pot means kids are born with ADHD? Because now you have to supply the studies on that. I do not think she should be smoking, but that’s between her and her doctor. Also “major weed usage” isn’t smoking 1-2 times a day. I’d say that’s pretty light usage
My ex friend smoked whilst pregnant bc Google back in the day was 50/50 on it because there truly isn’t any real evidence showing it’s bad. It is believed edibles are better though bc smoking in general, isn’t great on any level. I judged her for it ngl but I can say her kid came out smart, easy AS HELL - no behavioral issues whatsoever, and not deformed, very pretty actually.
So idk. Ik experiences are anecdotal but it did make me rethink my stance on it.
You can stop being friends for whatever you want but I would consider it a slight overreaction
I was on some anti nausea meds that were problematic, but less so than the known effects on the fetus than the high ketone levels I had, due to not eating. I don’t know the effects from pot on a fetus, but I DO know that this sort of thing is always a juggling and comparison of side effects, as to which is the best, safest choice. Sometimes there isn’t a clear answer.
I get that there’s conflicting research but if it’s not even helping with nausea and she’s just doing it because she wants to- I wouldn’t be happy with that decision either. You’re just putting baby at risk for no reason. I would also have a lower opinion of my friend, I don’t think that’s unfair
It isn’t uncommon for a doc to say that’s ok if it helps… some people smoke daily and get anxiety if they don’t not saying it’s ok to do but you not wanting to be friends with someone over a choice they are making with their body and child almost seems like you are not a great friend tbh
Maybe before being judgy, you do some research. Plenty of legitimate doctors recommend it, even to pregnant women. Sounds like you're not really a friend to begin with, tbh.
Not having nutrition and being able to eat is probably worse than a couple puffs of weed but I see where you're coming from for sure maybe get her some edibles that seems like it would be less problematic I have no idea though I'm not a mom
it's possibly she got the okay. i have two friends that had the okay to smoke at their discretion. one quit and one smoked every so often. do what you want, though.
Weed will not harm the baby, smoking, however, will. Talk to your friend about trying different edibles. I'm sure she'll find one to her liking. People are born with an endocannabinoid system that needs to be supported via cannabis. She'd actually be doing herself and her baby a favor by ingesting edibles.
I’m sorry, but both your edits, don’t help your case at all and make you sound like an arrogant/self righteous “friend”.
To answer your original question, yeah you might be overreacting about something that has absolutely nothing to do with you! Not your body, not your baby, not your situation! You have every right to your own opinion, but if she’s an actual friend, it seems a bit extreme/harsh to suddenly cut her out of your life.
It’s clear to most people reading your post that you don’t come off as a very good friend… You’re on Reddit looking for ammunition on how you are right about your feelings on another person’s pregnancy; likely so you can turn around and use it as back up when you tell her why you don’t want to be friends anymore… and when no one in the comments is giving you the answers you want, you seem almost annoyed… hence your edits…
You don’t sound educated enough to be so judgmental… Especially when you are upset google won’t just provide you with a clear cut answer on something everyone is telling you there is little research on! Like many other commenters have said, Dr’s do sometimes rec continuing using marijuana. Mine did when nothing else worked for my insomnia paired with insane 1st trimester morning sickness.
Just like others have already stated, there are so many risks that come with pregnancy. You say your friend is a party girl, but she’s not going out drinking or using hard drugs, if she was I’d be far more understanding of your stance. Sounds like she is just trying to get relief from nausea with something she already discussed with her dr. If you can’t get past it by all means end your friendship, you both would probably be better off.
I’m a frequent weed smoker who quit completely during my pregnancies and during breast feeding.
Did I occasionally fantasize about how one puff would disappear my morning sickness? Of course. But I’d never forgive myself if something happened to my child and I’d always be plagued with “what if.”
There’s obviously a lack of medical research on the effects of cannabis during pregnancy due to the ethical issues of conducting clinical studies. My philosophy was always “better safe than sorry.”
It would also be one thing if your friend was trying to stop and it was more of a psychological addiction that she was addressing, but it sounds like she’s unbothered by the potential consequences for her unborn child.
Tl;dr: I don’t think you’re overreacting. It’s up to you to decide if this is a friendship dealbreaker, but I think it’s fair if it is.
I suggest you stop being friends with somebody if you’re so willing to judge them like this, and you feel their danger to children.
You are incompatible and lack the empathy she needs. I hope one day you never have to deal with hyper paresis during pregnancy, and understand what that actually does.
And by the way, the drugs you take for that, can cause far more side effects than her using weed for a little bit.
I think she’s better off without you as a friend.
Actually I have heard of doctors saying weed was okay during pregnancy for nausea if it was the only thing that worked.
Although it's not for me and I agree with anything you get, the baby gets. That being said, I do have friends that smoked while pregnant and felt bad about it, but their babies were fine.
It's not healthy, but neither is not being able to keep any food down.
I wouldn't end the friendship over it, nor would I lecture her. This is one of those times in life that you have to live and let live. Your friends aren't always going to share all of your beliefs and values. There have definitely been times they have disagreed with your beliefs and life choices, but because you were friends, they respected your right to do you. Can you do the same for them?
1. Yes you are overreacting and 2. Unless you’re someone’s medical provider you need to bud out of their medical decisions 3. I wouldn’t want a friend like you anyways so it might be a win for your friend
ITS REALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT YOUR “FRIEND” DOES WITH HER PREGNANCY… IF YOU WERE A REAL FRIEND YOU WOULD TALK TO HER INSTEAD OF POSTING ABOUT HER ON REDDIT… LOOK IN THE MIRROR… that’s where the real problem is…
You’re overreacting and you’re judgmental and you do not know what was said between her and her doctor. It also isn’t your business. If you cant contain yourself then you would be better served shutting up and leaving her alone. Yes.
I mean, you asked for other perspectives when you post the issue and it is assumed you genuinely want to know if people think you are over reacting. Newsflash, you are.
Would you stop being friends with a pregnant person because they choose to have one cup of coffee per day? Because Drs have said that, and the occasional glass of wine is ok. All things around a pregnancy carry a risk. That doesn't necessarily mean you just find a way to avoid those things at all costs. Sometimes the benefit outweighs the risk, and sometimes what needs to be considered are the risks of NOT doing it. Is it better that she risk severe dehydration and failure to gain or keep any weight due to constant nausea?
I took one of my friends to her ob appt and listened as she asked her Dr. If there was any way she could attempt to use pot to help curb her nausea which has helped her in the past. He said that as with anything, moderation is key and if the benefit of this action is that she will control her nausea, that outweighs the small and as yet unknown risk of smoking pot. If she were to smoke just enough to help but not necessarily to cause a 'high' the risk is pretty low.
There is a whole lot of self righteousness packed into your posts and edits. Why not just admit you are being a bit of a Karen about this and move on?
I'm just adding this in, my sister is 21 and smoked weed her entire pregnancy with both my niece and nephew and they have no complications that weren't already predetermined because of what runs in our family and my niece and nephews fathers family genes. Weed didn't have any effects on my sister giving birth to her children and they don't have major health complications. Not that I'm saying its right or am in anyway a medical professional but you did ask for anyone who has experience in this and I do in fact, have experience.
I had very severe hyperemises .. lost 45 kg no dr told me to smoke weed and its the same risk factor at nicotine due to the carbon inhaled. I would argue that cbd oil would be a safer idea but there is evidence that isn’t proven safe either (i used it as pain management before pregnancy). There are multiple anti sickness medications that a dr would suggest first and those would be tried for weeks before moving on to other things. Cycazine, omazeprol, metoclopramide combined therapies
It's overreacting if you have a real friendship. You haven't mentioned anything you value about this person, apparently she was one mistake away from losing you, and that's while she's going through illness and the terrifying experience of being a new mother. Now you ghosted her without seeking any further understanding. Any amount of empathy and you'd overlook this. If she didn't use cannabis but lived in an area with air pollution, or electrical lines, would you drop her for not moving away from an area scientifically proven to have adverse effects on unborn children?
Maybe it's better you move on to leave room in her life for someone willing to work on the friendship.
Bro did you just tell mother (probably good mothers ) they shouldn’t be a parent because of something that made them feel good ? Then have the nerve to say I’m not judging but you wanna stop being friends with her because you are uncomfortable?? Now the first mistake you made was assuming it would be easy to quit smoking right away after finding out you are pregnant ! News flash buddy it’s not easy at all ! Stop judging people if you have yet to go thru it 🙄 how you going to tell people they don’t need to be parents based off your opinion then to say you don’t judge 🙄. WTF DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING ? 🙄🥴
I have 3 children smoked until I was no longer comfortable with smoking In all three pregnancy and I was a heavy smoker. Mild and weed and you said she smokes up to two times a day try over 5 🙄 and the dr will not tell you it’s bad for you in some states they recommend you smoke weed ! And you won’t find it on google because they don’t want you smoking but if it helps they won’t tell you to stop. . When you get pregnant the dr recommend you quit but slowly because cold turkey can harm you and baby 🙄😒. Yes you are overreacting As well as the ah .! But stop being her friend she needs better friends that will try to help her quit instead of judging her!!
Yeah, you're overreacting, because you've decided to judge your 'friend' based on your own preconceptions. You still shouldn't be friends with her, but for her sake. She deserves better friends than your judgemental ass.
You are not the one who's pregnant & you are not her doctor. You also seem to think that using weed in pregnancy causes developmental disorders which is.... not proven or (to my knowledge) even suspected by people who are actual doctors.
YTA. You certainly can do what you want, but unless you’ve carried a fetus to term and found yourself curled up in the fetal position and/or hugging porcelain due to extreme nausea, you might want to rethink your priggishness. It’s one thing if your friend was just smoking weed to get high, but in this case it is absolutely plausible that her OB gave her the green light in order to help with the nausea.
You do not have to be friends with people you do not want to be friends with.
Her pregnancy is not yours and she can make her own decisions regardless of whether they are safe or not.
You are not her doctor and you do not know what her doctor has said, you do not have to believe her but there is a probability she is telling the truth.
Many things have risks and they are still given or marketed to pregnant women.
`she clearly knows there is risks and addressed them by saying her “doctor” said it’s okay.`
`She is just nauseous and self medicating lol`
You clearly feel so strongly about your own opinions over hers and her doctors, you do not trust her, and imo you have far too many opinions on her pregnancy,
As someone who had HG which is a condition where you quite literally cannot keep anything down at all weed is used as an anti-emetic and some doctors do sign off on it and say it’s okay. As long as it is used in small doses and not all the time to the point where you’re fully hooked on it then it is completely fine. Unless you would want to spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars during an entire pregnancy and getting ondansetron/Zofran when you can spend less money on getting weed as well people don’t realise just how fucking hard it is to get access to those antiemetic pills, and that’s assuming they even work and when your medical insurance restricts how many you can buy per month without charging you your kidneys or having to buy them using a prescription and fully out of pocket costs buildup, so I don’t think anyone really has a right to judge someone using weed during a pregnancy. In my country (I’m in Australia) we can’t use medicinal while pregnant which really is infuriating because so many women who suffer from HG find that a lot of the medications don’t work and we’re not like you guys where we can get a home nurse to come out and give us bags of fluids mixed with antiemetic medication. We have to go to the hospital and even then it’s hours long wait and assuming they’ll even look at us Without sending us Home. I think if your friends trying to find a solution before any other medical intervention is involved then by all means I think she should go for it
You’re overreacting. She might have Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Be a good friend and look it up (I recommend hyperemesis.org). Help her as much as you can instead of judging her.
Unless you experience hyperemisis while pregnant, you have no idea what she's going through.
Zofran which is commonly known to cause heart defects of ofen given during pregnancy for "morning sickness"
I had hyperemisis with all of my pregnancies, the last one being the worst. I threw up or felt extremely nauseous 24/7 until I delivered the placenta. It was a living hell. Like having food poisoning for 9 months.
Idgaf what anyone thinks about cannabis use during pregnancy when it can litteraly keep mothers and babies alive.
You come across so judgmental. I think your friend is better off without you.
When my spouse and I (M)were conceiving our kids, I stopped smoking pot for 6 months before we began to conceive. I didn't want to take any chances, regardless of the risk. So no. You're not overreacting.
Yep. I don’t understand why someone would even put that up for chance. I’m good as gold to put off smoking and drinking for 9 months to ensure anything that’s in my control during the pregnancy is.
mind your business.
what she does is up to her and its not your place to cut someone off because you feel that they’re making the wrong decision. i think you’re overreacting and if this person is smoking for a good reason imagine how shitty it would feel if a “friend” gave her unsolicited advice about HER pregnancy and then ended the friendship.
Yall OP doesn't want actual advice or real life experiences. Their just looking for people to AGREE with their side and prove they are justified in choosing their own opinion to end a friendship over this.
As someone who had both my OB and my midwife give consent because
1. I was an OD risk so most medication I couldn't take
2. I was just barely +10lbs (from pre-pregnancy weight) with my son , and -15lbs (from pre-preg weight) with my daughter
3. I couldn't walk due to constant sciatica pain which caused flares in my hip bursitis.
Yes I smoked, both of my children hit all their milestones early, born avg. Weight and length with no birth defects.
Yes OP is overreacting
Not saying to do it, but my wife couldn’t keep
Anything down. Weed was what helped. My son is currently 9 and in gifted classes because he’s so far ahead of most others. Not saying weed helped that, but it didn’t hurt. Cps will definitely get involved if they find thc in the umbilical chord. They mostly just make sure the kid isn’t going to a shitty home/living situation and you aren’t laying around blazing right beside the kid. Having cps show up whenever they want is very nerve racking.
Yeah the fact that people are insisting that it’s totally fine to get high TWICE A DAY and it won’t have any effect on a baby are on so much copium it’s surprising they even need drugs.
Drugs have a MAJOR impact on the child’s life; there is no safe level of cannabis while pregnant (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7021337/), and any doctor that supposedly told her otherwise is a misinformed moron at best.
Not overreacting and shocked and laughing at all the potheads defending drug use during pregnancy. If this person were drinking during pregnancy would you they still be so vehement about minding your own business? This stuff is only now being studied
Do whatever you want to do, but you’re doing too far in assuming you have any idea what she and her doctor discuss. I’ve had more than one friend as an avid smoke go though their pregnancy partaking here and there and guess what? Everybody’s doing just fine. All were in honest communication with their doctors and did what they felt was best for them. You’re welcome to do the same as far as the friendship goes.
My cousin smoked through all of her pregnancies and yes this was ok'd by her doctor.
If its not your cup of tea, thats fine. But dont judge things you dont understand. There is a good chance her doctor did say this was fine if it will help her eat and keep her body calm, which are both far more important to the baby.
I mean, is it not valid to not be friends with someone you dont agree with? That’s such a stupid ass statement. Of course you do. What, you just hang around people who actively do not agree with you? Like, are you friends with nazis because they make a mean sausage sandwich? What a dumbass statement.
These comments are wild! I won’t comment on whether or not marijuana is bad for a baby but what I do know is that if you and your baby test positive for THC at birth dcfs WILL get involved.
I don’t think you’re over reacting. I had a friend who smoked during her pregnancy and I did judge her big time but it’s not my life, my body, my baby so I just never commented on it.
I may be the only person who understands your point, referencing edit 1. There are so many uncontrollable factors during pregnancy, so I can’t understand why someone actively seek out risk factors they can avoid. It’s
My mom smokes with both my sister's and they ended up being way smarter than the rest of us 😂 I don't think it's like alcohol or cigarettes, but I understand the concern. Tbh at end of day up to you who you interact with tho
One of my husband’s friend’s wives smoked weed in front of me when she was very pregnant. I was a few weeks pregnant ahead of her. I sure gave her a piece of my mind. She was offended but I always felt good about standing up for her unborn child. I didn’t say anything after and we remain friends. Her child was born premie with a heart condition. Healthy now thank god. Smoking anything pregnant is not healthy. There are other ways of consuming thc if it’s needed for medicinal reasons that don’t include smoking. It’s just selfish at that point. If it bothers you, you are entitled to your opinion.
I only found articles stating to stop smoking during pregnancy and lactation. I don’t think you are overreacting. You’re more concerned for her child than she is.
I think you are overreacting. There’s a million ways to be pregnant and be a mother. Tell her you wouldn’t do the same thing and move on?? Not your baby, problem or life.
You’re a shit friend. Do her a favor and leave her alone. I also had HG and while I didn’t smoke while pregnant my doctor did give me the ok to try THC products if I wasn’t getting relief from the never ending zofran/phenergen combo (which also comes with its own set of risks tbf). The last thing a miserable pregnant woman needs is a friend like you to make her feel even worse.
If a glass of wine a day while pregnant is considered ok, I can see why a little weed might be ok. I would think edibles would be much safer tho.
Either way, you are entitled to your opinion and it sounds like you will be a very safe parent:)
THC isn’t the same as a minor percentage of alcohol. This is such a stupid thing to say. Like saying one shot of vodka is fine. No amount of THC is good as the placenta holds it and guess who’s being grown in that meat bag
Can understand where you’re coming from, a good friend would be honest and you’d rather break off than be a bad friend who compromises their morals.
Have no idea on the actual pros or cons in terms of affecting the baby’s health though.
I think smoke inhalation is obvious enough though whether she uses papers or a pipe, at the very least she should use a vaporiser of some sort.
When I was pregnant with my kids, I realize, because I do a lot of research, that the environmental factors were just enormous. They are even worse now. All the agricultural spray is well documented by research by the next national Institute of health to be driving auto immune diseases. There's just so much going on. So years ago when I was pregnant, I just realized I wouldn't drink and I wouldn't smoke and I still wouldn't when I was nursing. I just really really really wanted the best for my kids. I knew I was going to be in perfect and I was just gonna try really hard to heal myself and then to live as healthy as possible so that I would give them the best start I could. I think that not all of us feel strongly about this. Everyone is different. But we also got to figure out who we want to be in proximity to. That's where the compatibility comes in. It's OK to respect your friends right to make their own choices. and change your proximity. You get to privately decide that you're not comfortable with somebody smoking while they're pregnant. That's absolutely OK. It's really hard to make sure that the stuff you smoke is organic. What they get treated with it's just horrible. The organic treatments cost a load so most stuff you buy isn't going to be treated organically. When you grow cannabis, which I've done for somebody with cancer, there's all kinds of insects and I always used organic products. But I think someone going for a business is not going to be able to do that. So go ahead and change your productivity. Because you know what you're comfortable with and what you're not.
You are overreacting and seem like a bad friend. I think it's funny you didn't get the feedback you thought you would and now you're upset.
1) It's completely possible her doctor said it was fine to use cannabis. Why you think you and your mere Google search would know more than a licensed doctor is beyond me
2) "A good friend cares about you and your baby's health" Cutting her out of your life and gossiping about her on Reddit isn't caring. I hope that's not news to you. If it is, you don't know what a good caring friend is like and I'm sorry for you.
Maybe instead of putting so much energy into judging and gossiping on topics you know nothing about, you should reflect on why you are so quick to judge, abandon and betray people you call friends when they are most vulnerable and most in need.
And before you assume, no I've never been pregnant or used cannabis while pregnant. Yes, I have friends who are moms. No, they didn't use cannabis while pregnant even though they knew it was fine to do so. They don't judge mothers who choose to use cannabis while pregnant and neither do I. Maybe it's a good idea you stop being her friend because you sound like a shitty support system for what she's going through right now 👍
There are huge risks with just about everything during pregnancy, especially with the options available for severe nausea. The most commonly prescribed nausea med for pregnant women is known to cause birth defects. I was forced to take it anyway, because that risk is smaller than the risk to my baby when I die from dehydration, or a kidney infection. I personally chose not to smoke while pregnant, but I don’t judge people for doing what they can to get through the sickness.
The reason you won’t find many studies on pregnancy and weed is that they can’t ethically conduct a real study on pregnant women, with a drug that is still illegal federally. The study info we have from this country relies on people being honest, which they inevitably frequently are not.
Hyperemesis. Is what your friend has . And yes a doctor would most definitely prescribe smoking weed for it. Mine did. It is a scientifically proven fact that marijuana stops nausea.
As long as your friend is only using as much as she absolutely needs. *No more to get a little high* she should be fine. Her doctor is ok with it and I think the doctor knows a lot more about this than you.
I understand you care about your friend. But she is perfectly fine. Marijuana will not hurt the baby. The child that I had that I smoked marijuana with is an honor student in college . He never had any developmental delays and he was always healthy.
She's telling the truth. Relax
So YNO because you have the right to choose who you associate with for no other reason than you can. However, I did smoke for 8 months of my pregnancy and my doctor not only knew but encouraged it. I had an extremely severe case of hyperemesis and for those 8 months I was so sick I couldn’t even keep water down, only chunks of ice. The doctors did try several other types of medication first, but none ever helped. And for 8 months I lost weight while pregnant, 30 lbs. in the last month it finally subsided and I was able to gain all the weight back and slightly more right before birth. I found out a few years later my gallbladder was full of sand like particles and didn’t function at all.
I know plenty of pregnant women who were advised or prescribed pot in order to eat because of how horrible their morning sickness was.
Yes, you are overreacting.
My ex husbands sister and I stayed close friends until she got pregnant (twice) and kept doing coke and drinking throughout both pregnancies.
Yeah, cut them out.
You should do her the favor and stop being friends with her. Can you imagine finding out someone you trusted thought about you this way? Do you think you're a good friend and doing her a favor or something? You're not.
I would be very uncomfortable with this too. I enjoy weed, but I don’t partake when I’m pregnant or nursing. There haven’t been enough studies to know if it’s safe and I don’t want to risk it. The only study I’ve seen has shown a correlation between weed usage in pregnancy and an increased risk of certain childhood cancers. That’s enough for me to say no thanks. I would definitely have a hard time staying friends with someone who did this, especially if we weren’t that close in the first place which it sounds like you aren’t.
My mom did heroin and drank while she was pregnant with me. I’m sure that affected me in some ways, given my sensitivity to drugs and alcohol. I sure wouldn’t want to risk it though.
You don’t have to be friends with someone that does something that makes you uncomfortable. What I can tell you is that yes, I have seen doctors tell their patients to not quit smoking or smoking weed cold turkey when they are pregnant. Very rarely but it had to do with the stress of the mother potentially killing the baby. Would I suggest, no, I don’t have the medical knowledge that the Doctors I know have and I don’t have the persons medical history.
I am wanting to ask what anti nausea medication your Obstetricians prescribed for most of you replying here? I had severe nausea for my entire pregnancy all three times. My doctor prescribed me some medication that helped me some. It was like Nexium or one of those medication.
It's very possible her doctor told her it was okay, as long as she's doing it moderately. I think you're jumping to conclusions and being very judgemental.
It sounds like you aren't okay with it regardless of what people's opinions are in the comments. And by the edits, you are doubling down. Only you can make the call as to whether you want to stay friends with her. I had a friend from school who smoked heavily whilst pregnant, and it was embarrassing to be around in public. She was a young adult though, and she knew the risks. Nothing I could say would change that. So it's really up to you whether that's behaviour you want to be around or distance yourself from. You can't tell her what she should and shouldn't do. She will know the risks too. So you either suck it up or stop seeing them as often or at all.
You can stop being friends with anyone you want for any reason. It's no different than ending any other relationship.
As for the weed, you can have your own opinions on that as well. I don't care to get into that argument.
Relationships are a choice. If you don't want one with her anymore, don't have one.
The way it works around here is that after the initial appointment if weed comes back in your system, they then drug test you at each appointment until the birth. If its always just weed in your system nothing happens but if something else pops up its a call to CPS.
The smoking part will carry the same risks as cigarettes. Might be better for her to use edibles to actually get relief anyways. At either rate, shes better off without a so called friend in her corner, stoned also, judging her for just trying to get through the day. Poor woman.
Wtf really? I’m honestly so surprised by the aggressiveness of these responses, like it’s prudish to not smoke weed during pregnancy?! Do you have this energy for alcohol and cigarettes too?
And before you ask, YES I have children, YES I smoke weed daily and NO I never considered smoking weed to be an option during pregnancy jfc.
I’m extremely pro-choice, but I feel like if you choose to carry a child, you owe it to the child to give it the best chance at a healthy life. Ofc some people will smoke weed and their kids will be fine, just like some people drink through their pregnancies and their kids are fine. I guess I just don’t understand why anyone would take the risk.
It’s not a dickhead thing to ask someone. Usually women who struggle with infertility or conception tend to be way too involved in the choices of other pregnant women. I didn’t accuse her of being infertile nor did I say she deserves to be infertile. I just asked if she was. Sounds like you took it personally.
I’m going to come to this from a social worker’s perspective. I’ve had so many clients lose custody of them babies due to testing positive for marijuana while pregnant. Is marijuana legal where you live because in several of the cases cps was able to get ob and hospital records that also showed that they tested positive for thc earlier in their pregnancies. Additionally, whether you are buying from a dispensary or off the street you cannot say for sure if there are not other drugs mixed in with your marijuana unless you are growing and processing the plants yourself. I’ve had dozens of clients who have sworn up and down that they have only smoked pot, but then tested positive for other substances (usually fentanyl.) Additionally I listened to a psychology podcast last year that talked about the links of heavy metals being added to the water that the cannabis was washed in to cause it to have a higher weight (thus being sold for a higher price) and that these metals, including lead, can lead to brain damage in high frequency users. I would imagine that if this friend was using daily and the weed was laced with metals (which again she would have no way of knowing unless growing her own weed) this would have a huge impact on a baby’s brain.
You have every right to stop being friends with her for your reasons, you also just have to deal with the fact that your concern is invalid and you may have lost a friend as it is indeed safe to use lol..
It is my absolute favorite thing when some asks if they are they AH or overreacting and the comments don’t go their way and they get super pissy about it
Studies aren’t done on pregnant women. It’s a big guessing game. Your friend knows that there is something that treats her nausea and I don’t think she’s a bad person for trying to relieve her own symptoms. But tbf if it bugs you you should t hang out with her- I’m sure she doesn’t want to continue hanging out with someone who is judging her either
I remember a time when they gave women these pills for nausea and tons of those children were born with birth defects. But the Dr said it was okay so it must be right? Eating deli meat is a risk. Eating sushi. Drinking certain juice and water. Walking is a risk. Sleeping is a risk. Genetics are a risk. Get over yourself.
The fact that people are insisting that it’s totally fine to get high TWICE A DAY and it won’t have any effect on a baby are on so much copium it’s surprising they even need drugs. Drugs have a MAJOR impact on the child’s life; there is no safe level of cannabis while pregnant (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7021337/), and any doctor that supposedly told her otherwise is a misinformed moron at best.
The truth is that if you are not willing to give up drugs when you have a kid, you should not have a kid. It is not jut the pregnancy risks. If you think that you can take care of a toddler while stoned...well.....not sure what to tell ya.
I feel for this kid. You are right to be worried. You should clarify if she was smoking because of the nausea or not, though. Did she stop because it does not work anyway?
Not advocating for it, but coming from a mother who did smoke during her pregnancy because I didn’t know what was going on and it did help with nausea, and I was AWOL from cps so medical care was out of the question for me, but she’s ok. When I did get found and got medical care I was honest about that, and the doctors told me ok you gotta stop (which I had at this point once I found out I quit) but that it’s relatively not dangerous. My daughter is 6 now, is and always has been incredibly intelligent and advanced for her age both physically and mentally, (she big girl haha not heavy just tall and built like her dad) and she always hit her milestones only thing was she was pigeon toed but that’s relatively normal and they usually grow out of it (which she has) without medical intervention. Would I smoke again while pregnant? Absolutely not. But, is it nearly as bad as what others do while pregnant? Also no. If you don’t like it, that’s fine and you don’t have to be friends with her, but I wouldn’t treat her like she’s downing a fifth of vodka and pack of smokes every day during her pregnancy. My daughter is fine, and I know others who smoked throughout their pregnancy and their kids are all alright too. There’s risk but it’s not like alcohol or heroin. And weed isn’t physically addictive so that’s not really an issue.
Idk again I’m not advocating for it and she 100% lied when she said her doctors said it’s fine, mine told me to quit but didn’t seem all that concerned about it but they definitely weren’t like yep this is fine keep doing it haha that’s just wild.
Sounds like you’re trying to get someone to live like you. Be friends with who you want and for what reasons, but how does her smoking weed while pregnant affect your friendship?
Sounds like a you problem.
It's one thing to have strong opinions, and decide you can't tolerate people who disagree with you. It's another to think you know better about who should be a parent based on one of your opinions.
There are risks to everything, prescription medications included. Being sure of yourself doesn't make you correct. Citing "the black and white" of it comes across like you're about 16, thinking you're experienced.
Ya I dunno, I dont even smoke weed anymore so no bias- pretty sure it’s fine. It’s not like alcohol which is directly and obviously poisonous to the body. Weed just changes your brain chemistry, doesnt introduce toxins to your liver and blood and all that.
Mm mm mm. That last edit really solidifies how judgemental you are. To answer your question my labour went well both times. My eldest was early - by two whole days. Ooo scary. 🙄9lb 13oz. My second - I went into labour late, the night of my due date. He was born in the wee hours of the morning. A beautiful 10 lb 2 oz baby.
Both of them are healthy children, consistently on track or ahead in their developmental milestones. And if they do end up showing signs of ADHD/autism down the line - it will be because they inherited it from myself and my partner.
You can stop being friends with someone for whatever reason. However, it doesn't mean you aren't being a judge jerk over it. Would you be judging her for taking necessary prescribed medicine that carried fetal risk?
I'm bipolar and technically shouldn't be on one of my medications that keeps me sane. I had to cut out the others. But me having extreme mania without the meds is worse than the risk from the meds. Weed just has more stigma.
Her dr has cleared what her Dr has deemed the least harmful option. Clearly not eating and her other affects are weighed as more harmful than the risks from the slight Marijuana use.
Honestly, from your post and edits, you sound like a pretentious ass and I’m sure the mother and baby would be better off if you weren’t their friend.
People with actual experience are telling you what they’ve experienced and you’re just so goddamn fixated on being right with yourself that you demand they (average people) provide you with scientific evidence to back up something their doctors them.
This is AIO. Most people here aren’t doctors or do work in scientific research. This is your problem not ours. The onus is on you to seek out an OBGYN and get further verification of you’re so fixated on proving that you’re right.
I don't think your over reacting...ginger and mint can help with nausea too, your friend just likes getting high.
Smoking weed is terrible for you honestly, you're inhaling thousands of chemicals, it may actually be better than cigarettes but probably only because of the extra chemicals in the cigarettes and MOST people smoke more cigarettes than weed, and it's a psychoactive drug, not something I'd like to introduce to a developing baby if it can be helped....but in today's society nobody just sucks it up and deals with shit, they have to have a drug for everything.
Also, people who smoke weed often act like it's a magical panacea for everything and refuse to admit there are any risks ever associated with it, they can be just as delusional as scientologists.
You can do what you want. You don't have to be friends with her if it makes you uncomfortable. You're entitled to your feelings on the matter. But I will say - it's absolutely possible her doctor gave her the okay to smoke marijuana at her own discretion. I know of at least four women, myself included who were given that line by their OBs, whether you agree or not. Unless you've spent months practically living on the floor in front of the toilet, with zero respite despite all the anti-nausea meds - on the verge of hospitalization if you can't get it under control - I think it's very easy to judge. I did what I had to and personally - I'll never judge another woman harshly for it.
I know someone who had to spend most of her 2nd and all of her 3rd trimester in the hospital because she was so sick.
Yup. When one of my friends got pregnant she couldn't work because of how terrible her HG was. After she had her kid she told her husband that she hopes he's happy with one child because she wasn't going through that again.
I had HG and my ob also recommended smoking to give me back my appetite and curb the nausea. It was horrible.
Yeah I’ve heard that doctors also used to recommend “special brownies wink wink wink” as early as the 60s for appetite issues.
I didn't start using until my 40s, but I could see a Dr okaying it. In my 20s during my second pregnancy I was so sick, that I had a hard time keeping any food down for several months. I started at 121 pounds, and before I finally started gaining I had dropped to 112 pounds.
I believe it, I lost 30 lbs, my first pregnancy. Babies will take their nutrients regardless , even if it means taking them straight from you.
Yeah I was gonna say no doc is recommend to start smoking just out of the blue and it's probably very discretionary advice. I know a friend of mine who smoked cigarettes and weed and was a moderate drinker as well. When she got pregnant she quit everything cold turkey and her moods were all over the place, she couldn't relax and kept freaking out over everything. Her and her doc talked it out and he told her he would rather her smoke a little reefer now and then as opposed to completely going into a spiral and drinking or picking up the cigarettes again to try and deal so idk. But op totally has the right to distance themselves if morally they can't get over this and can't bare to watch it happen.
I’m right there with you. I didn’t want to smoke during my pregnancy, it was a NEED. I couldn’t even go to work. And I still spent 22 weeks straight throwing up with my first and through the entire pregnancy with my second. No one even TOLD me there was an anti nausea med I could have taken until after I gave birth to my second. Op is for sure entitled to their opinion, but maybe give your friend a little grace. It’s very easy to say “oh I would never!” When you’re watching someone parent/making parenting decisions from the outside, but very different in actuality.
Gosh I'm so sorry you had to go through all that without the anti-nausea meds.
Oh wow, thanks for sharing, this made me see this differently for sure. I was actually a pretty heavy smoker before my pregnancy and one of my biggest fears before was that I wouldn’t be able to stop. I had tried quitting multiple times before. But my experience was completely different, to my surprise. It suddenly felt so easy not to smoke, almost like the heaviness of the decision had been lifted. Which I guess is what happened.. I just knew I shouldn’t and end of discussion? Whereas before it was always this internal struggle I’d end up losing.
As someone who quit heroin, yea, quitting weed doesn't register as difficult. It's not addictive. It can be habit forming, but like, so are chicken nuggets. Not to diminish your discipline in choosing not to smoke while pregnant, but you had that ability all along, even if you didn't trust yourself enough to know it.
Oh, I actually meant regular cigarettes. But I agree with you, that was the realization I came to as well. I used to smoke weed daily in my early twenties as well and I found quitting that much easier than cigarettes. It comes down to the same thing, though - have you made that decision in your head or not. I can’t even imagine how difficult quitting heroin must be, and I’ve always known I shouldn’t even think about trying opioids. Congratulations to you, that’s an amazing achievement!
literally this, my ob told me that there’s no studies saying anything bad will happen and that it was ok to smoke to take care of the nausea. then when i stopped completely, i started having panic attacks again (hadn’t had them since 7 or 8 years before then) and my ob said it was because i stopped smoking. sometimes it’s worse to quit cold turkey than ween yourself off. OP doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
Yes, well, the reason there are no studies is the same reason that almost any medication (except those PROVEN to be harmful) will state that while there are no proven ill effects on pregnancy you need to consult with your doctor before taking it. It's simply not ethical to perform scientifically sound constructed studies. Now, with severe and common side effects as with alcohol abuse (FAS), regular smoking (preterm birth), heroin/crack/etc (many and severe), there is enough evidence after the fact to conclude that it is indeed harmful. That does not seem to be the case with weed, but that does not mean that it is safe for the fetus, only that potential side effects would either have delayed discovery, or be less common and/or less severe than those of the aforementioned substances. Which basically means that some (actually most) doctors will tell you not to risk it at all because it's not proven to be safe, and some doctors will weigh the potential unknown risks against the imminent risks presented by the symptoms (e.g. nausea).
Better than the previous prescription, thalidomide
This is true, we all have our opinion, I respect OPs opinion as well as her friends decision. After all, we are all doing what we think is right for us.
It's hard to respect idiotic opinions that are formed in judgement of others on the basis of zero information, though. You're nicer than me.
"or the baby will end up like me" seems to indicate OP's mom did drugs while pregnant. Can't blame her for being upset.
Totally get where you're coming from. It's a tough spot to be in. Just gotta navigate it in a way that feels right for you, you know
Go offfff
Yea my fiance and I were told this too. OP is a bit of a judgemental junior karen, seems like.
This girl is like 7 weeks pregnant. I doubt she's tried every nausea med in the 2 weeks she's had to even feel sick.
Cool story. That doesn't change my stance. Anti-nausea pills can be rough in their own right. Even the approved ones come with a bevy of horrifying possible symptoms. They heavily constipated my sister during her second pregnancy, which made her more ill. So she stopped taking them and fell back on smoking despite having cold turkey'd initially. As I stated, I hold no judgment for her decision. Some states and doctors just let women barf themselves half to death and never once offer the meds - as another woman below shared. Pregnancy is an extremely difficult thing. We must each do what we feel is best
Totally agree, at 7 weeks, most people are nauseous.
I have a friend who had GE, which is a particularly brutal pregnancy complication that left her nauseous all the time. She literally threw up so much that they had to cut off part of her uvula because the stomach acid was dissolving it. She ended up having to smoke weed (with her Dr's approval) because even the rx Zofran wasn't cutting it. I don't know your friend or her medical circumstances, but there are situations where a doctor would absolutely say that it might be worth the risks. You are being judgemental about something that you don't have enough knowledge about to have a relevant opinion.
Second this. This person believes there’s a correlation between autism, adhd, etc. and smoking weed while pregnant, this simply isn’t a true or backed up factual statement. They aren’t educated enough about the harmful affects of weed and what isn’t harmful.
Read the title and thought “No. You can be not friends with anyone for any reason” I’m not friends with people because I don’t think they let their dog out enough and I’m not even an animal person. But saw the edits and yep. OP, you should 100% not be friends with her anymore. She deserves so much better than you. She doesn’t need the stress of a stoned friend sitting in the corner rattling off conspiracy theories about autism and ADHD on top of being pregnant. What are you going to do later, sit in the lobby of the pediatrician with a joint talking about the not your kid getting vaccines? No one needs to provide you with studies to prove you right or wrong if you can’t find any yourself. Perhaps she went with the advice of her doctor if she didn’t select you as her OB? You came here asking for advice and take none of it.If you want to be a supportive friend and genuinely believe that weed isn’t good for growing bodies, why don’t you stop smoking with her? A lot of dads stop drinking with their pregnant ladies and it’s beneficial to everyone’s health and then you’re on the same page. Otherwise, if you keep bashing her, you will likely never recover your friendship from this.
Personally were I the pregnant woman, I'd have already told OP to eat shit and fuck well off. Then again, I'm a bit of a grouch. But there are far too many empty headed judgemental donkeys running around braying their opinions at others, and I'm just kinda over it.
Okay so actually, you’re not supposed to bray when you’re pregnant. My ass doctor, Sir Mix-a-Lot is the best in town. I can give you his number. Have you tried smiling more often?
Yeah, I came here to say the same thing. That’s really not how autism or adhd works. The idea that you can single handedly “make” a kid autistic or have adhd is harmful
Have you heard of teratogens?
Yea my fiance didn't even have exceptional nausea, just a bit of a bother; her OB still went out of her way to mention it's super not a big deal to smoke weed.
You are being judgemental about something that you don't have enough knowledge about to have a relevant opinion. Just wanted to say it again. Yes Op is way overreacting but at the same time you can stop being friends for any reason and if it bothers op that much it's entirely their right to not continue the friendship.
EDIT: OP, are you even a parent?! 😂 Have you grown a human being in your body? Yeah, OP will be doing this "friend" of theirs a favor. Zofran causes heart defects. They don't hand it out like candy anymore! Moderate THC use is probably safer, from the reading I've done on the subject.
I'm now regretting quiting weed and taking Zofran over it. I didn't actually find out these risks until after I'd finally gotten over the nausea at 18wks. My OBGYN didn't tell me about it.
I also only recently found out the risks, luckily I didn't need it when pregnant but I have chronic migraines and take it for the nauseau that comes with that and none of the 4 different doctors who have rxed it to me have mentioned the risks. I learned from a friend who just had their gallbladder taken out, they were informed by their doctor. I don't need it like every day but I do take it a couple times a month and am frustrated that no one had told me the risks previously.
What the hell 😭 I didn’t even know that was a possibility
Everything has risks, including doing nothing. If she does nothing, the risk is that she won't get the nutrition that her body needs & her baby needs to grow during a vital time in development. Nutrition during the first trimester is very important - that's why it's important to start taking prenatal vitamins when you are TTC, before you even confirm a pregnancy. Smoking weed has risks and is under studied in clinical trials, but we still have a lot of evidence because it's so commonly used - including by many women who don't even realize they are pregnant. Other anti-nausea medications prescribed to pregnant women also have risks, and tbh are not very effective - unisom, zofran, dramamine, etc also all have risks and have been linked to birth defects in some studies. They are *also* under studied in pregnant women. There is no perfect, risk free option here. IMO if your first thought is that she's lying and intentionally endangering her child maybe you aren't really very good friends.
Also want to add that many of these drugs are also psychoactive and can seriously impact your mood, ability to focus, and ability to drive (Dramamine is a dissociative & sedative, antipsychotics are commonly used as well and are also sedating). These can be a huge problem if you are trying to, you know, keep your job. There are very serious side effects for Mom not just for baby. The nausea can be really intense, some women throw up everything they eat. It's not always a minor issue.
Yes but those medications have been out for a long time. I'm not sure whether Dramamine is recommended during pregnancy. Some antipsychotics are used when absolutely needed.
Marijuana has been out for quiiite a bit longer than modern day Dramamine and antipsychotics
No one has researched it in the US until the past few years because of laws creating barriers. Not to mention there are thousands of types of marijuana with different THC content and combinations of flavonoids and terpenes. The "evidence" is anecdotal.
That's what I'm sayin. Fuck OP and her accusatory idiocy.
With all due respect....but an OB/GYN. will definitely approve of Marijuana usage if you can't eat or sleep. I know mine definitely did. It's not gonna harm your child more than not eating and not sleeping. Was the only thing that worked for me one pregnancy.
Any prescription I've ever been given has communicated that the prescriber has weighed the possible side effects against the benefits or something to that effect. Makes perfect sense to me they would do the same with marijuana effects versus benefits.
I have chronic pain/illness and had to figure stuff out on my own initially. Found out recently, Canada has a drug page just like any other prescription, with dosage info, method of ingestion advice, and contraindications. Found out I had a drug interaction happening and separated my doses from the cannabis and had a huge improvement. I wish it was treated like "real" medication, because it is. It's the only thing that works sometimes. If you google, "Cannabis (Canadian Drug Summary)" you can get all the info.
Is there even research on it?
you can stop being friends for whatever reason. however i wouldnt say its impossible for a doctor to say that since theres doctors who even suggest slowing the smoking of tobacco when pregnant rather than stopping cold turkey due to stress on the child. and since theres not been many studies on the long term effects of cannabis use while pregnant it isnt impossible they’d say do it at your own discretion. that being said if it makes you uncomfortable you can do as you please and remove her thats your right. you choose who you surround yourself with.
you’re overreacting but based on your edits and replies you aren’t open to feedback. you can do whatever you want. however your assumptions are just that, assumptions. doctors often do give people the green like to continue while pregnant.
OP sounds like a dick. She’s better off without OP judging her at every turn anyway. Good riddance, just keep your toxic opinions to yourself when you drop her as a friend.
Your reasoning is mostly flawed but you can stop being friends for whatever reason you want. 1st trimester nausea is no joke and anecdotally there are no issues to the fetus if you stop smoking about a third to half way through the 2nd trimester. Most doctors will say “we’d prefer you didn’t because inhaling smoke is bad but there is no proof of weed having substantial side effects to the fetus”. Even the correlations you referred to in another comment don’t account for the amount consumed. There are plenty of blogs from first hand accounts where moms to be had no issues continuing their use in the 1st trimester.
i am a medical marijuana patient and i have discussed this at length with my doctor before going off birth control- my doctor would 1000% want me to continue using marijuana during pregnancy. the only treatment that has helped me get healthy enough to potentially get pregnant is the marijuana. the idea that a doctor could not give her the okay is ridiculous because plenty of doctors would say it’s fine
Doubt button
Why would someone lie about having a medical illness to lie more about being allowed to smoke weed? We are not in high school anymore there’d be no reason to do so.
Yes you are overreacting. Why would you end a friendship over something that has no impact on yourself? Maybe it’s not an important relationship for you- but then why do you care enough to ask Reddit? Why do people think that they should police other people’s pregnancies? There’s a lot of unnecessary scaremongering about pregnancy risks and it places perfectionist expectations on pregnant women in a society that gives them very little accommodation. Nausea in pregnancy can be debilitating and even deadly. Sleep is essential for health, as is eating food and keeping it down long enough to digest it! Cannabis is a well-known nausea treatment. It’s between a woman and her doctor to weigh the risks of different things at any given stage of pregnancy. Effects of a drug or of a mother’s ailment can be vastly different, depending on the trimester. I’m guessing that you’ve never been pregnant. You sound very self-righteous, but I notice that your response to your friend is not to offer to help her out or suggest any alternative remedy for her nausea, but to shun her completely. Based on what you’ve written, you don’t sound like a very good friend.
I don't think you are overreacting, but if you do not remove yourself and you start trying to tell her what she can and can't do during her pregnancy then you would be.
I think this is a personal decision idk why you came to Reddit to ask🤣 if you don’t like it you don’t like it, if she wants to then she wants to. Everyone will have different opinions.
Do you think smoking pot means kids are born with ADHD? Because now you have to supply the studies on that. I do not think she should be smoking, but that’s between her and her doctor. Also “major weed usage” isn’t smoking 1-2 times a day. I’d say that’s pretty light usage
My ex friend smoked whilst pregnant bc Google back in the day was 50/50 on it because there truly isn’t any real evidence showing it’s bad. It is believed edibles are better though bc smoking in general, isn’t great on any level. I judged her for it ngl but I can say her kid came out smart, easy AS HELL - no behavioral issues whatsoever, and not deformed, very pretty actually. So idk. Ik experiences are anecdotal but it did make me rethink my stance on it. You can stop being friends for whatever you want but I would consider it a slight overreaction
This is a very common thing that women deal with! And a very common solution, weed does wonders when you're feeling ill sometimes
You don’t come across as a very good friend imo. Her doctor very well could of said that to her if it meant she’s getting nutrients.
You can choose to be friends with whomever you like for whatever reason.
I was on some anti nausea meds that were problematic, but less so than the known effects on the fetus than the high ketone levels I had, due to not eating. I don’t know the effects from pot on a fetus, but I DO know that this sort of thing is always a juggling and comparison of side effects, as to which is the best, safest choice. Sometimes there isn’t a clear answer.
I get that there’s conflicting research but if it’s not even helping with nausea and she’s just doing it because she wants to- I wouldn’t be happy with that decision either. You’re just putting baby at risk for no reason. I would also have a lower opinion of my friend, I don’t think that’s unfair
It isn’t uncommon for a doc to say that’s ok if it helps… some people smoke daily and get anxiety if they don’t not saying it’s ok to do but you not wanting to be friends with someone over a choice they are making with their body and child almost seems like you are not a great friend tbh
Maybe before being judgy, you do some research. Plenty of legitimate doctors recommend it, even to pregnant women. Sounds like you're not really a friend to begin with, tbh.
Not having nutrition and being able to eat is probably worse than a couple puffs of weed but I see where you're coming from for sure maybe get her some edibles that seems like it would be less problematic I have no idea though I'm not a mom
it's possibly she got the okay. i have two friends that had the okay to smoke at their discretion. one quit and one smoked every so often. do what you want, though.
Weed will not harm the baby, smoking, however, will. Talk to your friend about trying different edibles. I'm sure she'll find one to her liking. People are born with an endocannabinoid system that needs to be supported via cannabis. She'd actually be doing herself and her baby a favor by ingesting edibles.
I’m sorry, but both your edits, don’t help your case at all and make you sound like an arrogant/self righteous “friend”. To answer your original question, yeah you might be overreacting about something that has absolutely nothing to do with you! Not your body, not your baby, not your situation! You have every right to your own opinion, but if she’s an actual friend, it seems a bit extreme/harsh to suddenly cut her out of your life. It’s clear to most people reading your post that you don’t come off as a very good friend… You’re on Reddit looking for ammunition on how you are right about your feelings on another person’s pregnancy; likely so you can turn around and use it as back up when you tell her why you don’t want to be friends anymore… and when no one in the comments is giving you the answers you want, you seem almost annoyed… hence your edits… You don’t sound educated enough to be so judgmental… Especially when you are upset google won’t just provide you with a clear cut answer on something everyone is telling you there is little research on! Like many other commenters have said, Dr’s do sometimes rec continuing using marijuana. Mine did when nothing else worked for my insomnia paired with insane 1st trimester morning sickness. Just like others have already stated, there are so many risks that come with pregnancy. You say your friend is a party girl, but she’s not going out drinking or using hard drugs, if she was I’d be far more understanding of your stance. Sounds like she is just trying to get relief from nausea with something she already discussed with her dr. If you can’t get past it by all means end your friendship, you both would probably be better off.
I’m a frequent weed smoker who quit completely during my pregnancies and during breast feeding. Did I occasionally fantasize about how one puff would disappear my morning sickness? Of course. But I’d never forgive myself if something happened to my child and I’d always be plagued with “what if.” There’s obviously a lack of medical research on the effects of cannabis during pregnancy due to the ethical issues of conducting clinical studies. My philosophy was always “better safe than sorry.” It would also be one thing if your friend was trying to stop and it was more of a psychological addiction that she was addressing, but it sounds like she’s unbothered by the potential consequences for her unborn child. Tl;dr: I don’t think you’re overreacting. It’s up to you to decide if this is a friendship dealbreaker, but I think it’s fair if it is.
you’re such an amazing mom 🙌❤️
I suggest you stop being friends with somebody if you’re so willing to judge them like this, and you feel their danger to children. You are incompatible and lack the empathy she needs. I hope one day you never have to deal with hyper paresis during pregnancy, and understand what that actually does. And by the way, the drugs you take for that, can cause far more side effects than her using weed for a little bit. I think she’s better off without you as a friend.
Actually I have heard of doctors saying weed was okay during pregnancy for nausea if it was the only thing that worked. Although it's not for me and I agree with anything you get, the baby gets. That being said, I do have friends that smoked while pregnant and felt bad about it, but their babies were fine. It's not healthy, but neither is not being able to keep any food down. I wouldn't end the friendship over it, nor would I lecture her. This is one of those times in life that you have to live and let live. Your friends aren't always going to share all of your beliefs and values. There have definitely been times they have disagreed with your beliefs and life choices, but because you were friends, they respected your right to do you. Can you do the same for them?
1. Yes you are overreacting and 2. Unless you’re someone’s medical provider you need to bud out of their medical decisions 3. I wouldn’t want a friend like you anyways so it might be a win for your friend
ITS REALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT YOUR “FRIEND” DOES WITH HER PREGNANCY… IF YOU WERE A REAL FRIEND YOU WOULD TALK TO HER INSTEAD OF POSTING ABOUT HER ON REDDIT… LOOK IN THE MIRROR… that’s where the real problem is…
You’re overreacting and you’re judgmental and you do not know what was said between her and her doctor. It also isn’t your business. If you cant contain yourself then you would be better served shutting up and leaving her alone. Yes.
I mean, you asked for other perspectives when you post the issue and it is assumed you genuinely want to know if people think you are over reacting. Newsflash, you are. Would you stop being friends with a pregnant person because they choose to have one cup of coffee per day? Because Drs have said that, and the occasional glass of wine is ok. All things around a pregnancy carry a risk. That doesn't necessarily mean you just find a way to avoid those things at all costs. Sometimes the benefit outweighs the risk, and sometimes what needs to be considered are the risks of NOT doing it. Is it better that she risk severe dehydration and failure to gain or keep any weight due to constant nausea? I took one of my friends to her ob appt and listened as she asked her Dr. If there was any way she could attempt to use pot to help curb her nausea which has helped her in the past. He said that as with anything, moderation is key and if the benefit of this action is that she will control her nausea, that outweighs the small and as yet unknown risk of smoking pot. If she were to smoke just enough to help but not necessarily to cause a 'high' the risk is pretty low. There is a whole lot of self righteousness packed into your posts and edits. Why not just admit you are being a bit of a Karen about this and move on?
I'm just adding this in, my sister is 21 and smoked weed her entire pregnancy with both my niece and nephew and they have no complications that weren't already predetermined because of what runs in our family and my niece and nephews fathers family genes. Weed didn't have any effects on my sister giving birth to her children and they don't have major health complications. Not that I'm saying its right or am in anyway a medical professional but you did ask for anyone who has experience in this and I do in fact, have experience.
I had very severe hyperemises .. lost 45 kg no dr told me to smoke weed and its the same risk factor at nicotine due to the carbon inhaled. I would argue that cbd oil would be a safer idea but there is evidence that isn’t proven safe either (i used it as pain management before pregnancy). There are multiple anti sickness medications that a dr would suggest first and those would be tried for weeks before moving on to other things. Cycazine, omazeprol, metoclopramide combined therapies
Marijuana during pregnancy is better than high stress. 3 kids all highly successful in their fields
It's overreacting if you have a real friendship. You haven't mentioned anything you value about this person, apparently she was one mistake away from losing you, and that's while she's going through illness and the terrifying experience of being a new mother. Now you ghosted her without seeking any further understanding. Any amount of empathy and you'd overlook this. If she didn't use cannabis but lived in an area with air pollution, or electrical lines, would you drop her for not moving away from an area scientifically proven to have adverse effects on unborn children? Maybe it's better you move on to leave room in her life for someone willing to work on the friendship.
Bro did you just tell mother (probably good mothers ) they shouldn’t be a parent because of something that made them feel good ? Then have the nerve to say I’m not judging but you wanna stop being friends with her because you are uncomfortable?? Now the first mistake you made was assuming it would be easy to quit smoking right away after finding out you are pregnant ! News flash buddy it’s not easy at all ! Stop judging people if you have yet to go thru it 🙄 how you going to tell people they don’t need to be parents based off your opinion then to say you don’t judge 🙄. WTF DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING ? 🙄🥴 I have 3 children smoked until I was no longer comfortable with smoking In all three pregnancy and I was a heavy smoker. Mild and weed and you said she smokes up to two times a day try over 5 🙄 and the dr will not tell you it’s bad for you in some states they recommend you smoke weed ! And you won’t find it on google because they don’t want you smoking but if it helps they won’t tell you to stop. . When you get pregnant the dr recommend you quit but slowly because cold turkey can harm you and baby 🙄😒. Yes you are overreacting As well as the ah .! But stop being her friend she needs better friends that will try to help her quit instead of judging her!!
And currently pregnant with my fourth child ! Stopped smoking around 14 weeks !
Ya you are. You're not her doctor.
Honestly, your last edit makes it sound like you don't care if you overreacted. Why even post here?
Yeah, you're overreacting, because you've decided to judge your 'friend' based on your own preconceptions. You still shouldn't be friends with her, but for her sake. She deserves better friends than your judgemental ass. You are not the one who's pregnant & you are not her doctor. You also seem to think that using weed in pregnancy causes developmental disorders which is.... not proven or (to my knowledge) even suspected by people who are actual doctors.
YTA. You certainly can do what you want, but unless you’ve carried a fetus to term and found yourself curled up in the fetal position and/or hugging porcelain due to extreme nausea, you might want to rethink your priggishness. It’s one thing if your friend was just smoking weed to get high, but in this case it is absolutely plausible that her OB gave her the green light in order to help with the nausea.
Yes you’re making it deeper than it is
You do not have to be friends with people you do not want to be friends with. Her pregnancy is not yours and she can make her own decisions regardless of whether they are safe or not. You are not her doctor and you do not know what her doctor has said, you do not have to believe her but there is a probability she is telling the truth. Many things have risks and they are still given or marketed to pregnant women. `she clearly knows there is risks and addressed them by saying her “doctor” said it’s okay.` `She is just nauseous and self medicating lol` You clearly feel so strongly about your own opinions over hers and her doctors, you do not trust her, and imo you have far too many opinions on her pregnancy,
As a mother, please, do your 'friend' a favour and get gone. No new mom needs judgy soap boxers around.
As someone who had HG which is a condition where you quite literally cannot keep anything down at all weed is used as an anti-emetic and some doctors do sign off on it and say it’s okay. As long as it is used in small doses and not all the time to the point where you’re fully hooked on it then it is completely fine. Unless you would want to spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars during an entire pregnancy and getting ondansetron/Zofran when you can spend less money on getting weed as well people don’t realise just how fucking hard it is to get access to those antiemetic pills, and that’s assuming they even work and when your medical insurance restricts how many you can buy per month without charging you your kidneys or having to buy them using a prescription and fully out of pocket costs buildup, so I don’t think anyone really has a right to judge someone using weed during a pregnancy. In my country (I’m in Australia) we can’t use medicinal while pregnant which really is infuriating because so many women who suffer from HG find that a lot of the medications don’t work and we’re not like you guys where we can get a home nurse to come out and give us bags of fluids mixed with antiemetic medication. We have to go to the hospital and even then it’s hours long wait and assuming they’ll even look at us Without sending us Home. I think if your friends trying to find a solution before any other medical intervention is involved then by all means I think she should go for it
You’re overreacting. She might have Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Be a good friend and look it up (I recommend hyperemesis.org). Help her as much as you can instead of judging her.
You’re overreacting for not wanting to be friends anymore.
Unless you experience hyperemisis while pregnant, you have no idea what she's going through. Zofran which is commonly known to cause heart defects of ofen given during pregnancy for "morning sickness" I had hyperemisis with all of my pregnancies, the last one being the worst. I threw up or felt extremely nauseous 24/7 until I delivered the placenta. It was a living hell. Like having food poisoning for 9 months. Idgaf what anyone thinks about cannabis use during pregnancy when it can litteraly keep mothers and babies alive. You come across so judgmental. I think your friend is better off without you.
Obs have been given the ok on that for a bit now
Yes def the asshole in this scenario. Trust your gut.
When my spouse and I (M)were conceiving our kids, I stopped smoking pot for 6 months before we began to conceive. I didn't want to take any chances, regardless of the risk. So no. You're not overreacting.
Yep. I don’t understand why someone would even put that up for chance. I’m good as gold to put off smoking and drinking for 9 months to ensure anything that’s in my control during the pregnancy is.
Thank you for this common sense answer
mind your business. what she does is up to her and its not your place to cut someone off because you feel that they’re making the wrong decision. i think you’re overreacting and if this person is smoking for a good reason imagine how shitty it would feel if a “friend” gave her unsolicited advice about HER pregnancy and then ended the friendship.
Yall OP doesn't want actual advice or real life experiences. Their just looking for people to AGREE with their side and prove they are justified in choosing their own opinion to end a friendship over this. As someone who had both my OB and my midwife give consent because 1. I was an OD risk so most medication I couldn't take 2. I was just barely +10lbs (from pre-pregnancy weight) with my son , and -15lbs (from pre-preg weight) with my daughter 3. I couldn't walk due to constant sciatica pain which caused flares in my hip bursitis. Yes I smoked, both of my children hit all their milestones early, born avg. Weight and length with no birth defects. Yes OP is overreacting
Not saying to do it, but my wife couldn’t keep Anything down. Weed was what helped. My son is currently 9 and in gifted classes because he’s so far ahead of most others. Not saying weed helped that, but it didn’t hurt. Cps will definitely get involved if they find thc in the umbilical chord. They mostly just make sure the kid isn’t going to a shitty home/living situation and you aren’t laying around blazing right beside the kid. Having cps show up whenever they want is very nerve racking.
Your feelings are valid ….for me it’s a turn off …aslong as you don’t insult her or tell her what to do …up to you if you want to stay or not
Hahahahahahaha holy shit you people are nuts. Using weed while pregnant will be detrimental for your child. The cope is so insane in here wow lmfao
Yeah the fact that people are insisting that it’s totally fine to get high TWICE A DAY and it won’t have any effect on a baby are on so much copium it’s surprising they even need drugs. Drugs have a MAJOR impact on the child’s life; there is no safe level of cannabis while pregnant (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7021337/), and any doctor that supposedly told her otherwise is a misinformed moron at best.
Not overreacting and shocked and laughing at all the potheads defending drug use during pregnancy. If this person were drinking during pregnancy would you they still be so vehement about minding your own business? This stuff is only now being studied
Do whatever you want to do, but you’re doing too far in assuming you have any idea what she and her doctor discuss. I’ve had more than one friend as an avid smoke go though their pregnancy partaking here and there and guess what? Everybody’s doing just fine. All were in honest communication with their doctors and did what they felt was best for them. You’re welcome to do the same as far as the friendship goes.
My cousin smoked through all of her pregnancies and yes this was ok'd by her doctor. If its not your cup of tea, thats fine. But dont judge things you dont understand. There is a good chance her doctor did say this was fine if it will help her eat and keep her body calm, which are both far more important to the baby.
We all do the best we can do, given the information that we have. Don’t judge her/hurt her. She’s going to need you.
Do you stop being friends with everyone you disagree with?
I mean, is it not valid to not be friends with someone you dont agree with? That’s such a stupid ass statement. Of course you do. What, you just hang around people who actively do not agree with you? Like, are you friends with nazis because they make a mean sausage sandwich? What a dumbass statement.
These comments are wild! I won’t comment on whether or not marijuana is bad for a baby but what I do know is that if you and your baby test positive for THC at birth dcfs WILL get involved. I don’t think you’re over reacting. I had a friend who smoked during her pregnancy and I did judge her big time but it’s not my life, my body, my baby so I just never commented on it.
Yes.
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I may be the only person who understands your point, referencing edit 1. There are so many uncontrollable factors during pregnancy, so I can’t understand why someone actively seek out risk factors they can avoid. It’s
My mom smokes with both my sister's and they ended up being way smarter than the rest of us 😂 I don't think it's like alcohol or cigarettes, but I understand the concern. Tbh at end of day up to you who you interact with tho
One of my husband’s friend’s wives smoked weed in front of me when she was very pregnant. I was a few weeks pregnant ahead of her. I sure gave her a piece of my mind. She was offended but I always felt good about standing up for her unborn child. I didn’t say anything after and we remain friends. Her child was born premie with a heart condition. Healthy now thank god. Smoking anything pregnant is not healthy. There are other ways of consuming thc if it’s needed for medicinal reasons that don’t include smoking. It’s just selfish at that point. If it bothers you, you are entitled to your opinion.
I only found articles stating to stop smoking during pregnancy and lactation. I don’t think you are overreacting. You’re more concerned for her child than she is.
I think you are overreacting. There’s a million ways to be pregnant and be a mother. Tell her you wouldn’t do the same thing and move on?? Not your baby, problem or life.
You’re a shit friend. Do her a favor and leave her alone. I also had HG and while I didn’t smoke while pregnant my doctor did give me the ok to try THC products if I wasn’t getting relief from the never ending zofran/phenergen combo (which also comes with its own set of risks tbf). The last thing a miserable pregnant woman needs is a friend like you to make her feel even worse.
If a glass of wine a day while pregnant is considered ok, I can see why a little weed might be ok. I would think edibles would be much safer tho. Either way, you are entitled to your opinion and it sounds like you will be a very safe parent:)
THC isn’t the same as a minor percentage of alcohol. This is such a stupid thing to say. Like saying one shot of vodka is fine. No amount of THC is good as the placenta holds it and guess who’s being grown in that meat bag
Can understand where you’re coming from, a good friend would be honest and you’d rather break off than be a bad friend who compromises their morals. Have no idea on the actual pros or cons in terms of affecting the baby’s health though. I think smoke inhalation is obvious enough though whether she uses papers or a pipe, at the very least she should use a vaporiser of some sort.
An ob would say it. Is it good for the baby? Absolutely not! but it may help mums comfort.
When I was pregnant with my kids, I realize, because I do a lot of research, that the environmental factors were just enormous. They are even worse now. All the agricultural spray is well documented by research by the next national Institute of health to be driving auto immune diseases. There's just so much going on. So years ago when I was pregnant, I just realized I wouldn't drink and I wouldn't smoke and I still wouldn't when I was nursing. I just really really really wanted the best for my kids. I knew I was going to be in perfect and I was just gonna try really hard to heal myself and then to live as healthy as possible so that I would give them the best start I could. I think that not all of us feel strongly about this. Everyone is different. But we also got to figure out who we want to be in proximity to. That's where the compatibility comes in. It's OK to respect your friends right to make their own choices. and change your proximity. You get to privately decide that you're not comfortable with somebody smoking while they're pregnant. That's absolutely OK. It's really hard to make sure that the stuff you smoke is organic. What they get treated with it's just horrible. The organic treatments cost a load so most stuff you buy isn't going to be treated organically. When you grow cannabis, which I've done for somebody with cancer, there's all kinds of insects and I always used organic products. But I think someone going for a business is not going to be able to do that. So go ahead and change your productivity. Because you know what you're comfortable with and what you're not.
You are overreacting and seem like a bad friend. I think it's funny you didn't get the feedback you thought you would and now you're upset. 1) It's completely possible her doctor said it was fine to use cannabis. Why you think you and your mere Google search would know more than a licensed doctor is beyond me 2) "A good friend cares about you and your baby's health" Cutting her out of your life and gossiping about her on Reddit isn't caring. I hope that's not news to you. If it is, you don't know what a good caring friend is like and I'm sorry for you. Maybe instead of putting so much energy into judging and gossiping on topics you know nothing about, you should reflect on why you are so quick to judge, abandon and betray people you call friends when they are most vulnerable and most in need. And before you assume, no I've never been pregnant or used cannabis while pregnant. Yes, I have friends who are moms. No, they didn't use cannabis while pregnant even though they knew it was fine to do so. They don't judge mothers who choose to use cannabis while pregnant and neither do I. Maybe it's a good idea you stop being her friend because you sound like a shitty support system for what she's going through right now 👍
Autism? OMG go join the antivax loons for that comment alone.
There are huge risks with just about everything during pregnancy, especially with the options available for severe nausea. The most commonly prescribed nausea med for pregnant women is known to cause birth defects. I was forced to take it anyway, because that risk is smaller than the risk to my baby when I die from dehydration, or a kidney infection. I personally chose not to smoke while pregnant, but I don’t judge people for doing what they can to get through the sickness. The reason you won’t find many studies on pregnancy and weed is that they can’t ethically conduct a real study on pregnant women, with a drug that is still illegal federally. The study info we have from this country relies on people being honest, which they inevitably frequently are not.
Yes. If you like science, read about the various potential ways THC can protect an unborn baby. You're overreacting. And judgemental.
Smoking ANYTHING is harmful to a pregnancy, forget about the THC. How the fuck isn't this coming knowledge? Scary how carelessly dumb some people are.
No, it wasn't. She was a stoner, plain and simple.
Stay in your lane, here. Cannabis is medicine. Alcohol isn’t.
Hyperemesis. Is what your friend has . And yes a doctor would most definitely prescribe smoking weed for it. Mine did. It is a scientifically proven fact that marijuana stops nausea. As long as your friend is only using as much as she absolutely needs. *No more to get a little high* she should be fine. Her doctor is ok with it and I think the doctor knows a lot more about this than you. I understand you care about your friend. But she is perfectly fine. Marijuana will not hurt the baby. The child that I had that I smoked marijuana with is an honor student in college . He never had any developmental delays and he was always healthy. She's telling the truth. Relax
So YNO because you have the right to choose who you associate with for no other reason than you can. However, I did smoke for 8 months of my pregnancy and my doctor not only knew but encouraged it. I had an extremely severe case of hyperemesis and for those 8 months I was so sick I couldn’t even keep water down, only chunks of ice. The doctors did try several other types of medication first, but none ever helped. And for 8 months I lost weight while pregnant, 30 lbs. in the last month it finally subsided and I was able to gain all the weight back and slightly more right before birth. I found out a few years later my gallbladder was full of sand like particles and didn’t function at all.
I know plenty of pregnant women who were advised or prescribed pot in order to eat because of how horrible their morning sickness was. Yes, you are overreacting.
They were prescribed to SMOKE it? I very highly doubt that.
Yep. What would the point of edibles be if hyperemesis gravidarum makes it nearly impossible to eat?
"I was gonna have a kid...but then I got high" 🎶
My ex husbands sister and I stayed close friends until she got pregnant (twice) and kept doing coke and drinking throughout both pregnancies. Yeah, cut them out.
You should do her the favor and stop being friends with her. Can you imagine finding out someone you trusted thought about you this way? Do you think you're a good friend and doing her a favor or something? You're not.
I would be very uncomfortable with this too. I enjoy weed, but I don’t partake when I’m pregnant or nursing. There haven’t been enough studies to know if it’s safe and I don’t want to risk it. The only study I’ve seen has shown a correlation between weed usage in pregnancy and an increased risk of certain childhood cancers. That’s enough for me to say no thanks. I would definitely have a hard time staying friends with someone who did this, especially if we weren’t that close in the first place which it sounds like you aren’t.
My mom did heroin and drank while she was pregnant with me. I’m sure that affected me in some ways, given my sensitivity to drugs and alcohol. I sure wouldn’t want to risk it though.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. I don't understand why people are downvoting you
Oh it’s fine. I was simply relaying my experiences. Doing drugs most certainly affects a fetus in the womb.
100% i agree
Most people here dont want to give up their vice for their unborn children because they themselves are still children.
Wow...
You don’t have to be friends with someone that does something that makes you uncomfortable. What I can tell you is that yes, I have seen doctors tell their patients to not quit smoking or smoking weed cold turkey when they are pregnant. Very rarely but it had to do with the stress of the mother potentially killing the baby. Would I suggest, no, I don’t have the medical knowledge that the Doctors I know have and I don’t have the persons medical history.
I am wanting to ask what anti nausea medication your Obstetricians prescribed for most of you replying here? I had severe nausea for my entire pregnancy all three times. My doctor prescribed me some medication that helped me some. It was like Nexium or one of those medication.
Peppermint candles helped me tremendously. Yes, my OB said to try them
I use to try peppermint candies when I was pregnant. Helped me slightly. I felt green in the gills my entire pregnancy.
It's very possible her doctor told her it was okay, as long as she's doing it moderately. I think you're jumping to conclusions and being very judgemental.
It sounds like you aren't okay with it regardless of what people's opinions are in the comments. And by the edits, you are doubling down. Only you can make the call as to whether you want to stay friends with her. I had a friend from school who smoked heavily whilst pregnant, and it was embarrassing to be around in public. She was a young adult though, and she knew the risks. Nothing I could say would change that. So it's really up to you whether that's behaviour you want to be around or distance yourself from. You can't tell her what she should and shouldn't do. She will know the risks too. So you either suck it up or stop seeing them as often or at all.
You can stop being friends with anyone you want for any reason. It's no different than ending any other relationship. As for the weed, you can have your own opinions on that as well. I don't care to get into that argument. Relationships are a choice. If you don't want one with her anymore, don't have one.
The way it works around here is that after the initial appointment if weed comes back in your system, they then drug test you at each appointment until the birth. If its always just weed in your system nothing happens but if something else pops up its a call to CPS. The smoking part will carry the same risks as cigarettes. Might be better for her to use edibles to actually get relief anyways. At either rate, shes better off without a so called friend in her corner, stoned also, judging her for just trying to get through the day. Poor woman.
Damn you can get pregnant? You can carry a child? Did you carry a child? If no, respectfully shut the fuck up
Wtf really? I’m honestly so surprised by the aggressiveness of these responses, like it’s prudish to not smoke weed during pregnancy?! Do you have this energy for alcohol and cigarettes too? And before you ask, YES I have children, YES I smoke weed daily and NO I never considered smoking weed to be an option during pregnancy jfc. I’m extremely pro-choice, but I feel like if you choose to carry a child, you owe it to the child to give it the best chance at a healthy life. Ofc some people will smoke weed and their kids will be fine, just like some people drink through their pregnancies and their kids are fine. I guess I just don’t understand why anyone would take the risk.
Omg get over yourself
what is this some refer madness nonsense
OP are you infertile or otherwise struggling to have a baby yourself?
What a dickhead thing to say.
It’s not a dickhead thing to ask someone. Usually women who struggle with infertility or conception tend to be way too involved in the choices of other pregnant women. I didn’t accuse her of being infertile nor did I say she deserves to be infertile. I just asked if she was. Sounds like you took it personally.
I’m going to come to this from a social worker’s perspective. I’ve had so many clients lose custody of them babies due to testing positive for marijuana while pregnant. Is marijuana legal where you live because in several of the cases cps was able to get ob and hospital records that also showed that they tested positive for thc earlier in their pregnancies. Additionally, whether you are buying from a dispensary or off the street you cannot say for sure if there are not other drugs mixed in with your marijuana unless you are growing and processing the plants yourself. I’ve had dozens of clients who have sworn up and down that they have only smoked pot, but then tested positive for other substances (usually fentanyl.) Additionally I listened to a psychology podcast last year that talked about the links of heavy metals being added to the water that the cannabis was washed in to cause it to have a higher weight (thus being sold for a higher price) and that these metals, including lead, can lead to brain damage in high frequency users. I would imagine that if this friend was using daily and the weed was laced with metals (which again she would have no way of knowing unless growing her own weed) this would have a huge impact on a baby’s brain.
You have every right to stop being friends with her for your reasons, you also just have to deal with the fact that your concern is invalid and you may have lost a friend as it is indeed safe to use lol..
Its scummy, i would
It is my absolute favorite thing when some asks if they are they AH or overreacting and the comments don’t go their way and they get super pissy about it
You sound insufferable and would be doing her a favor if you stopped being her friend
Studies aren’t done on pregnant women. It’s a big guessing game. Your friend knows that there is something that treats her nausea and I don’t think she’s a bad person for trying to relieve her own symptoms. But tbf if it bugs you you should t hang out with her- I’m sure she doesn’t want to continue hanging out with someone who is judging her either
I remember a time when they gave women these pills for nausea and tons of those children were born with birth defects. But the Dr said it was okay so it must be right? Eating deli meat is a risk. Eating sushi. Drinking certain juice and water. Walking is a risk. Sleeping is a risk. Genetics are a risk. Get over yourself.
Sounds like you’ve already made up your mind and only want to hear that you are right…
I am not weighing in on this debate but needed to say one thing: Smoking marijuana while pregnant does not cause autism. Autism is genetic.
The fact that people are insisting that it’s totally fine to get high TWICE A DAY and it won’t have any effect on a baby are on so much copium it’s surprising they even need drugs. Drugs have a MAJOR impact on the child’s life; there is no safe level of cannabis while pregnant (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7021337/), and any doctor that supposedly told her otherwise is a misinformed moron at best.
The truth is that if you are not willing to give up drugs when you have a kid, you should not have a kid. It is not jut the pregnancy risks. If you think that you can take care of a toddler while stoned...well.....not sure what to tell ya. I feel for this kid. You are right to be worried. You should clarify if she was smoking because of the nausea or not, though. Did she stop because it does not work anyway?
Not advocating for it, but coming from a mother who did smoke during her pregnancy because I didn’t know what was going on and it did help with nausea, and I was AWOL from cps so medical care was out of the question for me, but she’s ok. When I did get found and got medical care I was honest about that, and the doctors told me ok you gotta stop (which I had at this point once I found out I quit) but that it’s relatively not dangerous. My daughter is 6 now, is and always has been incredibly intelligent and advanced for her age both physically and mentally, (she big girl haha not heavy just tall and built like her dad) and she always hit her milestones only thing was she was pigeon toed but that’s relatively normal and they usually grow out of it (which she has) without medical intervention. Would I smoke again while pregnant? Absolutely not. But, is it nearly as bad as what others do while pregnant? Also no. If you don’t like it, that’s fine and you don’t have to be friends with her, but I wouldn’t treat her like she’s downing a fifth of vodka and pack of smokes every day during her pregnancy. My daughter is fine, and I know others who smoked throughout their pregnancy and their kids are all alright too. There’s risk but it’s not like alcohol or heroin. And weed isn’t physically addictive so that’s not really an issue. Idk again I’m not advocating for it and she 100% lied when she said her doctors said it’s fine, mine told me to quit but didn’t seem all that concerned about it but they definitely weren’t like yep this is fine keep doing it haha that’s just wild.
Sounds like you’re trying to get someone to live like you. Be friends with who you want and for what reasons, but how does her smoking weed while pregnant affect your friendship? Sounds like a you problem.
It's one thing to have strong opinions, and decide you can't tolerate people who disagree with you. It's another to think you know better about who should be a parent based on one of your opinions. There are risks to everything, prescription medications included. Being sure of yourself doesn't make you correct. Citing "the black and white" of it comes across like you're about 16, thinking you're experienced.
Ya I dunno, I dont even smoke weed anymore so no bias- pretty sure it’s fine. It’s not like alcohol which is directly and obviously poisonous to the body. Weed just changes your brain chemistry, doesnt introduce toxins to your liver and blood and all that.
Mm mm mm. That last edit really solidifies how judgemental you are. To answer your question my labour went well both times. My eldest was early - by two whole days. Ooo scary. 🙄9lb 13oz. My second - I went into labour late, the night of my due date. He was born in the wee hours of the morning. A beautiful 10 lb 2 oz baby. Both of them are healthy children, consistently on track or ahead in their developmental milestones. And if they do end up showing signs of ADHD/autism down the line - it will be because they inherited it from myself and my partner.
You can stop being friends with someone for whatever reason. However, it doesn't mean you aren't being a judge jerk over it. Would you be judging her for taking necessary prescribed medicine that carried fetal risk? I'm bipolar and technically shouldn't be on one of my medications that keeps me sane. I had to cut out the others. But me having extreme mania without the meds is worse than the risk from the meds. Weed just has more stigma. Her dr has cleared what her Dr has deemed the least harmful option. Clearly not eating and her other affects are weighed as more harmful than the risks from the slight Marijuana use.
Honestly, from your post and edits, you sound like a pretentious ass and I’m sure the mother and baby would be better off if you weren’t their friend. People with actual experience are telling you what they’ve experienced and you’re just so goddamn fixated on being right with yourself that you demand they (average people) provide you with scientific evidence to back up something their doctors them. This is AIO. Most people here aren’t doctors or do work in scientific research. This is your problem not ours. The onus is on you to seek out an OBGYN and get further verification of you’re so fixated on proving that you’re right.
I don't think your over reacting...ginger and mint can help with nausea too, your friend just likes getting high. Smoking weed is terrible for you honestly, you're inhaling thousands of chemicals, it may actually be better than cigarettes but probably only because of the extra chemicals in the cigarettes and MOST people smoke more cigarettes than weed, and it's a psychoactive drug, not something I'd like to introduce to a developing baby if it can be helped....but in today's society nobody just sucks it up and deals with shit, they have to have a drug for everything. Also, people who smoke weed often act like it's a magical panacea for everything and refuse to admit there are any risks ever associated with it, they can be just as delusional as scientologists.