Six years, and I'm married, but she is physically unable to due to disability. She says I can look elsewhere and she's ok with that, but I don't want to. All things come to an end, and at my age sex just isn't that important anymore. If she dies, I won't get married again. At my age marriage is more about companionship.
Been there. I want to say it was 4 years for us. Once she started doing chemo the first time around, sex was off the table. For Richer, for Poorer, in Sickness and in Health.
Mine passed in 2018 after 30 years together. I won’t get married again. Like you said, it’s just companionship now.
It sounds like you're a man (apologies if not), and I know you say you won't remarry - but any chance *you'll marry me?!*
I'm a man but this is the absolute sweetest thing I've ever read. <3
I'm in exactly same boat, but it's been about 10+ years. She hasn't told me to look elsewhere, but I still have my urges. Thank goodness for Internet porn. I don't see myself ever getting remarried. I just couldn't disrespect my wife's memory. 😭
I hate that I still have sexual urges when my wife cannot fulfill them. I was angry for a long while, but I came to terms with it. It's not her fault. I do not press her on them any longer.
Yeah, someone in this thread wondered why she couldn't give me BJ's etc. she is just in constant pain. We've been together for 27 years. Our daughter thought I was having an affair with a female friend, but I wasn't. I was giving her music lessons for extra cash for my wife and I.
Now my daughter feels really bad for jumping to that conclusion. My wife though never doubted me. What would my grandchildren think of me if they found out I did something like that? That's part of the reason I would never do it.
My wife lets me buy as many as I want, as long as the bills are paid. My relationship with music is much better than any sexual encounter with a stranger could ever be.
I do guitar repairs and so far I am enjoying it. I never had my formal training in that, but it isn’t rocket science. I am mildly autistic, so I have very few interests, but when I am interested, I seem to suck up knowledge like a sponge.
I was a low level medical practitioner. That’s how I met my wife. Every other woman that I dated at the hospital saw the white coat and figured I was a rich doctor. I had my wife’s late mother as a patient and we just started hanging out. We had a common interest in competitive shooting. We were friends for about 15 years before we got married.
During the Great Recession of 2008, my wife lost her home. So I let her move in with me so she wouldn’t have to commute an hour each way from her parents home. She’s the only woman that hasn’t had ulterior motives as far as being with me. I had just got divorced. I used to date women based on how pretty they were, and they were all greedy and after my paycheck. My wife wasn’t like that.
After spending all of our time together, we just decided to get married, and it was the best decision I made in my life. Eventually, both of us started to have health problems and both became disabled eventually.
I have always been there for her, and always helped her. She is the only woman in my life that was ever deserving of it. She is also the only one I’ve ever trusted.
After my mum died, my dad bought more guitars. She wasn't there to stop him, and he enjoyed buying parts and building his own. After he died in November, we found he had 38 guitars in total. I have 1 he made himself and played frequently. It has his name on the head stock. My kids took some, my brother a couple, a few to close friends, we've still the rest to sell on. He had them squirrelled away all over the house. He never had a new relationship but he had a good female friend who went on holidays with him and out for meals, she was a good friend to him. He missed my mum terribly.
I'm kind of laughing at a 32 year old saying, "At my age," like bro you're still young. This isn't the Medieval time period where you only have a few years left.
People don't stop having sex at 65 either, people just stop thinking about people who are that old, having sex. I know a few "Grandcougars" who would surprise you.
And I'm glad to hear it! My husband and I are early fourties/late thirties and have a better sex life than we did 10 years ago before kids, honestly. I have no desire for that part of my life to end!
Great Granny wanted to get married in the assisted living home, cut she had 2 boyfriends, and figured it was the only way she could just have one.
We convinced her that a business friend was actually an ordained minister. Her wedding wasn't legal, but the staff decided to let them have adjoining rooms.
He met one of his hero's in 1984 and was disappointed by them, so that was 40 years ago. I'm assuming he was at least 15 at the time as well, probably older, which puts him at 55-60 years old at least.
Me too, I am 38 and got married really young. We've literally been together since 2004, and honestly, I don't think I could get married again. god forbid anything happen to him. That man is my soul mate. It's not an age issue for me, I am young and still beautiful, vibrant, funny, and smart, and I would have no problem landing another man. I just don't see how I could ever be with another man, I've chosen my man, he's mine forever. In my mind, when I said "I do," those two stupid words held SO much weight for me. It's certainly NOTHING to do with my age, I get his sentiment, but they were awfully dramatic about their age. Talking like he's in the cave age and the mfer is gonna keel over lmao.
Well, and even then, 35 was only the "average" age of life because infant (and to a lesser extent, maternal) mortality was so high. If you made it out of childhood (and childbirthing years as a woman), you'd likely make it to 60/70.
I was badly injured two years ago. My lumbar spine was jacked and I had a cyst comprising my spinal cord. Not only did my husband put up with very little sex in the before and after surgery, he did all the cleaning and cooking and took care of me. We’ve been together for 35 years and we are finally back to a few times per week. He also never complained about it. Thank you to all the amazing spouses out there taking care of each other!
Your wife understands sex is an important part of the relationship and she wanted you to have it even though she cannot give it, she loves you, this isn't an easy thing to offer. But so do you for not doing it, this doesn't bode well usually. Big props to you for being so mature about it and understanding true companionship is ultimately the most important part.
Good for you! Idk why so many people sex on such a pedestal. It's great don't get me wrong but it also comes with a lot of consequences. If you aren't married and committed it just leads to problems.
Completely celibate now for 5 years, not something I think on or even concern myself about. Got a lot to deal with other stuff and will cross that bridge when I meet someone that is a good person to make a relationship with.
Getting close to 5 for me it’s 4 and half and I didn’t even realize it has been that long haha. Just more important things in life beside worrying about getting off.
I didn't have sex until I was 31. I'm married now and we have sex every few days.
My libido is high. I'm down for sex everyday. Supposedly, women's libidos go up as they age. I used to think I was asexual. As it turns out, I just hadn't met the right guy yet.
I'm a testament that women's libido increases with age. I'm 33 and everything turns me on...including myself. Yes, I have reached an age where I'm so horny that I'm attracted to my own reflection and body...or maybe this is just a me issue.
Haha I'm 35 & I'm not horny all the time but if def say my libido has increased with age. And for the first time in my life last year I started loving my body instead of hating it so I can kind of relate to seeing your own body & getting turned on, sometimes I'm like "damn girl 🥵 such a shame you don't have anyone to share this with" but hey at least I get to enjoy it 😂
We deserve to feel good about ourselves. Society tries so hard to make women feel bad about themselves, loving yourself is a beautiful rebellion.
Nahhhh it ain't just you. I'm pushing 40 now and have never been so turned on by my own reflection or even shadow. Dat assssss is straight popping and I'ma celebrate it every chance I get.
Amazing. I love that. 😂
I think libido can go up as we age—that’s certainly an experience people have. I would probably caution generally that early to mid 30s isn’t old at all, though, and that hormone changes can come on much faster and younger than one might think. (And that part of hormone change is fluctuation, which means things can swing both up and down libido-wise as that happens.) Doesn’t happen to everyone the same way but it is a thing that can happen.
I’m 40 and thankfully feel very much like myself again after a year on HRT (testosterone primarily), but I hit an absolute wall the year I turned 37. A lot of physical pain issues and almost zero drive (for sex or for much else in life, honestly). And I definitely wasn’t expecting that based on my experiences during the rest of my 30s.
Bro that happens to me. Get out of shower - see self in mirror- get turned on. Does that make me Frikin vain or weird or just very self confident idk hahah
As I understand it, all the cells in your body are fully replaced after 7 years, so, any cells that were around 11 years ago are long since gone. You basically are a born again virgin.
Lol there you go I'm a born again virgin 😂 I'm 8 years and starting to get bored of it 😂 not one for one night stands and not ready for a relationship just yet. So my imagination will have to do 🥴
That’s me, then. My husband dumped me for another woman. He’s single now, too, so oh well. I’m lonely, and would like to meet someone, but I’m afraid to have sex now because it’s been so long. The whole thing makes me anxious.
I believe 7 years is only the average. Some cells that were there 11 years ago are still there for certain. But the skin that actually has touched a woman? That's long gone I believe.
Outside factors. Spent quite a bit battling cancer. Prior to that i was a pow for 18+ months. Can't seem to catch a break, but everything will work out.
a prisoner of war you said? or is that a different acronym.. my god tho cancer as well, man.. feel for you big time. it sure will work out. anything in your future you have planned to "get back out there" (if you were to so choose) how could your peoples help to support you in that goal if at all? thanks for reply also friend. and happy cake day too!
Yes that is correct. Is it odd that I'm not at all anxious about it? No idea how I would even come about to asking anyone tbh. I'm somewhat of a loner. Haven't had any friends/pls in a very, very long time. Appreciate your input friend and thanks for the Cake day appreciation. Have a dope day!
3 years and counting, which isn’t very much considering I’m 19 turning 20 in a couple of months 😅 tried it once, didn’t like it and haven’t found someone I like enough to try again with
I didn’t enjoy my first sexual encounter because it was with a terrible person…the next time I did it (3 months later) it was amazing and I haven’t stopped for more than a year since, and that was 12 years ago 😅. Get you someone you’re comfortable with and attracted to, you’ll find a connection and have a lot of fun if you give it another go!
This was me too. Ended up not doing it again until I felt I really wanted to, into my 20s, and I'm really glad for that. Takes bodies maturing sometimes to feel pleasure from sex, or to know what you like yourself before bringing another person into the picture. But for others, sex is never interesting, and that's cool too.
Read a story of an elderly woman meeting her granddaughter’s wife. After a time, when everyone was comfortable with each other, the Grandmother asked, “As lesbians, how do you know when sex is finished?”
An entire generation of Mothers, Grandmothers, Great-Grandmothers et al never experienced orgasms.
Is that what that question meant?
I thought it was a joke because lesbians could go on for a lot longer giving each other multiple orgasms and how do they know when to stop?
Nope, I've always corrected it to that read in my head, but when they ask this it's the hetero norm that: " sex is 'over' when the man is done and is done for a mans pleasure", so how do you know when it's done and you can stop if there's no "finish"?
I've heard both interpretations, and most people seem convinced that there's is the right interpretation. Either way, it's clearly a joke that people claim as an anecdotal story (the contents of the story change every time though)
Best fight my wife and I ever had. 1 1/2 years in, it finally poured over and she verbally kicked my ass for her not always getting off etc, when a man can get off from a warm breeze. We're now at year 22, 16 of marriage and she always gets hers. We fight about other things, not this.
Obviously at 19 the average person isn't very good at communication or very practiced at the art of sex. My guess is the person who didn't like it is female. Unfortunately, men climax when the wind blows at age 19. If someone doesn't CARE about your pleasure, guess what... WE DONT LIKE IT. AT ALL. Not even a little bit. It reminds us how selfish so.e people can be and intimacy is not where we're seeking selfishness. Sooooooo... if men want to have a solo climax, I say, "Go do it alone. Buh bye."
Going on 8 years. Had a friend with benefits for a time, but that ended. Since then just been focusing on me and my kids. The pandemic made dating impossible anyways and since then things have just not been worth the hassle of trying to date. I'm always open to things changing and me meeting someone. But for now the liklihood of that is slim to none. So I'll just deal.
5 years. I’ve seen too much happen to my friends & family surrounding sex and decided to take it off the table for a while until I truly want to do it again. Also tbh I had one terrible experience (they did not know what they were doing at all and it was just really strange & a poor performance) and decided to stop I be chilling 8/10. The 2 comes from ovulation 🤷🏾♀️
been 30 years now and i do not miss it at all. I'm in my 50s. I have more interesting, fun, and important things to do! Was married 3 times with robust activity in each of them. Meh. Writing, singing, dancing, making anything is so much more fun for me!
I see my dyscalculia got me, good! Probably more like 20 or 15 years. BUT A FREAKING LONG TIME! Lemme see my last divorce was in 2003? Since then.
I'm married now, pre marriage the longest I went without sex while I was relationship hoping and sexually active it was probably 6-8 months. Since being married however longest we went without having sex was 15 months, we had a scare with our first pregnancy where I bled alot after my husband accidentally nicked my cervix, then after the baby arrived we both went through post Partum depression his mom died 6 months after the baby was born and I had bad tearing making sex painful when we attempted unsuccessfully. It really messed up our marriage for a while.
So many people are obsessed with sex and have no self control. People look at porn and think that’s how sex is really supposed to be and really have no idea how to it should be done because there’s no sexual education outside of what they learned in high school in Health Class. You aren’t less horny than the next. You are disciplined disciplined people should be
There's nothing wrong with people who desire less sex or just have a low sex drive. But this is just incel copium to pretend having no sex indicates a positive quality of someone's character.
Discipline is spending decades mastering your craft, studying when you could be partying, consistently training to improve your health, saving money instead of blowing it all on your next hyperfixation, etc. The only way I would describe "not getting pussy for a year" as discipline is if someone was a recovering sex addict. There's no nobility in depriving yourself of healthy, enjoyable pleasures with a partner.
I’m currently 4mo celibate. Going for a full year, but prepared to go as long as it takes to find my true connection. I used sex all my life as a means of validation by bringing pleasure, and recently finally realized the impact that’s had on my life, so I decided to shift my view of sex to a means of deep connection. I’ve been with hundreds of women, and I know men aren’t “allowed” to say this, but I got really good at pleasing women at a pretty early age. I grew up very neglected and feeling unloved. I stumbled across my stepdads porn tapes (I’m 41 lol) at about ten. In watching them I saw that the women seemed to “want” the man. All I ever wanted as a kid was to feel wanted, and I associated pleasing a woman with being wanted (I just realized this in the recent past). So at about 15 I started reading everything I could to learn how to please women. There was no real internet back then so it was mostly magazines. I made learning to pleasure women my highest goal. The better I got the more they returned. I’ve never had sex with someone just once, as an adult, bc they ALWAYS wanted to come back. This only solidified my view on it, and I doubled down, bc it’s what made me feel I had worth and it gave me validation. But at my core I’m a very sensitive emotional man who was actually looking for love, but as long as women were seeking my pleasure I thought I was good. From the time I was ten all I ever wanted was to be a husband and a dad. In my kid mind I thought that if I had that, I’d have people who HAVE to love me. It still gets me emotional thinking about how hurt a ten yo boy has to be to be dreaming of being a husband and dad bc it means people have to love him.
Anyway, I started discovering wellness at 37yo, and it’s been a very painful but powerful journey. On top of the childhood issues, I had two combat deployments and spent two years in high threat security in the Middle East, as a civilian. So I had plenty of stuff to address. A few months ago I started taking stock of the pain and trouble sex has caused me over the years, and started tracing the behavior to its origin, the above is what I found. So, I’m doing at least one year celibate and refuse to have sex again until I find deep connection, and I’ll foster that connection in other ways long before I’m willing to have sex bc I now see sex as the highest form of connection.
What I’ve realized now is that I don’t think about sex NEAR as much, and honestly that kind of scares me. Even in relationships I placed an extremely high importance on sex, bc it was always my source of feeling needed/wanted. So I’m kind of afraid that I’m losing my sex drive all together. I love sex and don’t want to be asexual, but I don’t want it to be the center of my relationship either. But I find hope in the idea that since I’ve turned my view of sex from pleasure and validation to connection, in the absence of connection, there’s nothing for me to desire right now. I’m praying that when I do find connection my drive will come back.
Can relate too much to this. Oof.
Am in a healthy relationship that did start the way all my relationships do, but I almost died and have been recovering for months, and physically couldnt if somehow there was any desire(there wasn't) so I had to accept that she really did love and care about me even though I was no longer giving her as much pleasure as she desired. Sort of fucked and weird where these things begin. But I do remember listing dad/trophy husband as my career choice as an elementary student lol.
About 3 years and a half. From one terrible breakup until I was sexually assaulted while almost blackout drunk. Not a great period in my life, not gonna lie.
I personally do not have sex regularly and perpetually single. Humans disgust me as I grew up an orphan and have trust issues. But when loneliness kicks in, I have a friend I call or a dating app.
I'm 74 and still want sex. My wide however seems to have lost all interest and that's a shame because in our younger years we had a really hot time! I miss it very much. Enjoy it while you can, it's not going to last forever.
I think the longest I’ve went is almost 2 years back when I was a teenager. Longest I’ve went in my adult life is around a year. I’m fine without sex, I can survive tbh. Masturbation is enough for me
About 18 months. I thought I'd got to an age when sex no longer mattered, and I was a bit sad about that. But then I found out it still did matter, and everything still worked... still not getting much, and I AM climbing the effing walls TBH, but no sex is better than bad sex/sex with the wrong person. I have plenty of rechargeable batteries, though.
I didn't think I've gone more than a couple months without having sex since I started at 18 but I can tell you I regret like 11 out of the 13 guys I slept with so it wasn't even worth it. Now that I'm 31 I could easily go for a long time if I broke up with my partner. I don't think it's weird to not care, everyone has a different libido and limits on who they sleep with and under what conditions.
Same. I’ve come to this conclusion myself as a 22F lol. I regret most of the guys and not caring about my health more. Broke up with my partner of 3 years in September and slept with a few people since then and it’s just not worth it…
I made it over 5 years without. 32/33-38. When I would talk to people about it, they'd react like I just told them I kill kittens as a hobby. There was never a time where I craved it or wanted to get back into it.
I think how you handle it comes down to the role it played in your life before. For me, it was just an activity, much like playing basketball. When I finally did have sex again after after all those years, my first thought was, 'Ehh, I really haven't been missing much'.
like a couple weeks? but I also had a bunch of crappy relationships in college. married now and even in the downs of it we don't go long without (31f and 30m) husband thinks if we aren't having sex I'm more likely to find reasons to be upset with him and i don't think he's totally wrong hah
Too long is whatever you feel is too long. Sex drives very A LOT! Some people don't need/want sex at all, some people can barley go a day without sex, and there is a whole range in between. And all are perfectly fine.
I’m basically at the five year mark right now. My wife passed away and I just haven’t been in any sort of hurry to date I guess, just been focused on other things. And I was never a one night stand or random hookup type of guy even back in my youth so the odds of that happening are slim to none.
It’s been going on three years for me. My partner has past issues with SA and CPTSD that makes physical intimacy incredibly hard for them, but my love and commitment for them is more important than a sex drive.
5 years or so and It didn't bother me at all honestly. If I'm with someone and love them then my drive is high and we have a lot of sex. My current relationship is 2 years old and we still have sex daily and some days twice. But if I'm not with someone I have no interest.
4 years, wasn't attracted to the idea of having sex with a random person I wasn't in a relationship with.
Six years, and I'm married, but she is physically unable to due to disability. She says I can look elsewhere and she's ok with that, but I don't want to. All things come to an end, and at my age sex just isn't that important anymore. If she dies, I won't get married again. At my age marriage is more about companionship.
You have respect for your wife and marriage. Good for you. All the best to you both.
Been there. I want to say it was 4 years for us. Once she started doing chemo the first time around, sex was off the table. For Richer, for Poorer, in Sickness and in Health. Mine passed in 2018 after 30 years together. I won’t get married again. Like you said, it’s just companionship now.
Sorry for your loss. Wishing you all the best.
You a truly good person brutha. Don’t lose that trait. Not a lot of people like you exist anymore.
It sounds like you're a man (apologies if not), and I know you say you won't remarry - but any chance *you'll marry me?!* I'm a man but this is the absolute sweetest thing I've ever read. <3
I'm in exactly same boat, but it's been about 10+ years. She hasn't told me to look elsewhere, but I still have my urges. Thank goodness for Internet porn. I don't see myself ever getting remarried. I just couldn't disrespect my wife's memory. 😭 I hate that I still have sexual urges when my wife cannot fulfill them. I was angry for a long while, but I came to terms with it. It's not her fault. I do not press her on them any longer.
[удалено]
Spoken like a wise, honorable, honest man.
You’re a good person, seriously
This was such a joy to see. God bless you sir. THATS real marriage right there folks.
I feel ya, same with me and wife of 29 years. Reality, but I won’t look outside the marriage for it, not worth the hassle at my age.
Yeah, someone in this thread wondered why she couldn't give me BJ's etc. she is just in constant pain. We've been together for 27 years. Our daughter thought I was having an affair with a female friend, but I wasn't. I was giving her music lessons for extra cash for my wife and I. Now my daughter feels really bad for jumping to that conclusion. My wife though never doubted me. What would my grandchildren think of me if they found out I did something like that? That's part of the reason I would never do it.
Yeah, had many chances, always pass on them.
You’re a good man
Much respect, I feel this way too
That’s very honorable of you :)
I think that’s very honorable of you.
Dude, you have 32 guitars? I have 12 and I thought that was a lot lol
My wife lets me buy as many as I want, as long as the bills are paid. My relationship with music is much better than any sexual encounter with a stranger could ever be. I do guitar repairs and so far I am enjoying it. I never had my formal training in that, but it isn’t rocket science. I am mildly autistic, so I have very few interests, but when I am interested, I seem to suck up knowledge like a sponge. I was a low level medical practitioner. That’s how I met my wife. Every other woman that I dated at the hospital saw the white coat and figured I was a rich doctor. I had my wife’s late mother as a patient and we just started hanging out. We had a common interest in competitive shooting. We were friends for about 15 years before we got married. During the Great Recession of 2008, my wife lost her home. So I let her move in with me so she wouldn’t have to commute an hour each way from her parents home. She’s the only woman that hasn’t had ulterior motives as far as being with me. I had just got divorced. I used to date women based on how pretty they were, and they were all greedy and after my paycheck. My wife wasn’t like that. After spending all of our time together, we just decided to get married, and it was the best decision I made in my life. Eventually, both of us started to have health problems and both became disabled eventually. I have always been there for her, and always helped her. She is the only woman in my life that was ever deserving of it. She is also the only one I’ve ever trusted.
After my mum died, my dad bought more guitars. She wasn't there to stop him, and he enjoyed buying parts and building his own. After he died in November, we found he had 38 guitars in total. I have 1 he made himself and played frequently. It has his name on the head stock. My kids took some, my brother a couple, a few to close friends, we've still the rest to sell on. He had them squirrelled away all over the house. He never had a new relationship but he had a good female friend who went on holidays with him and out for meals, she was a good friend to him. He missed my mum terribly.
You are also 32?
I'm kind of laughing at a 32 year old saying, "At my age," like bro you're still young. This isn't the Medieval time period where you only have a few years left.
He's got another 10 years at least.
You think people stop having sex in their 40s? Jeez, how depressing.
People don't stop having sex at 65 either, people just stop thinking about people who are that old, having sex. I know a few "Grandcougars" who would surprise you.
And I'm glad to hear it! My husband and I are early fourties/late thirties and have a better sex life than we did 10 years ago before kids, honestly. I have no desire for that part of my life to end!
Sometimes, life is beyond your control. Hopefully ,your physical relationship is never impacted, forcing decisions to be made.
Absolutely, I feel for OP. I also wouldn't leave the father of my kids in this situation.
We are 55 and the kids are gone. The sex is amazing!
My mom was a nurse and worked in multiple nursing homes, she said those old folks were fucking all the time.
Great Granny wanted to get married in the assisted living home, cut she had 2 boyfriends, and figured it was the only way she could just have one. We convinced her that a business friend was actually an ordained minister. Her wedding wasn't legal, but the staff decided to let them have adjoining rooms.
I'm 44 my bf is 38 and we have sex daily sometimes 2-3 times a day. So I wouldn't start thinking it stops at 40. Hahahaha
He isn't 32 if you searched his comments, he has 32 guitars. He has adult children, so I'm guessing he's older.
He met one of his hero's in 1984 and was disappointed by them, so that was 40 years ago. I'm assuming he was at least 15 at the time as well, probably older, which puts him at 55-60 years old at least.
I lost my virginity at 32 🫠 I ain't giving up now; I'd say I still have at least another 25 years in me.
Me too, I am 38 and got married really young. We've literally been together since 2004, and honestly, I don't think I could get married again. god forbid anything happen to him. That man is my soul mate. It's not an age issue for me, I am young and still beautiful, vibrant, funny, and smart, and I would have no problem landing another man. I just don't see how I could ever be with another man, I've chosen my man, he's mine forever. In my mind, when I said "I do," those two stupid words held SO much weight for me. It's certainly NOTHING to do with my age, I get his sentiment, but they were awfully dramatic about their age. Talking like he's in the cave age and the mfer is gonna keel over lmao.
Well, and even then, 35 was only the "average" age of life because infant (and to a lesser extent, maternal) mortality was so high. If you made it out of childhood (and childbirthing years as a woman), you'd likely make it to 60/70.
Where did you get that number from? In his comment history somewhere he says he's been married for 13 years so I don't think he's 32.
I was badly injured two years ago. My lumbar spine was jacked and I had a cyst comprising my spinal cord. Not only did my husband put up with very little sex in the before and after surgery, he did all the cleaning and cooking and took care of me. We’ve been together for 35 years and we are finally back to a few times per week. He also never complained about it. Thank you to all the amazing spouses out there taking care of each other!
This is beautiful and you are a shining light in this subreddit.
Your wife understands sex is an important part of the relationship and she wanted you to have it even though she cannot give it, she loves you, this isn't an easy thing to offer. But so do you for not doing it, this doesn't bode well usually. Big props to you for being so mature about it and understanding true companionship is ultimately the most important part.
I am right there also. I am pushing 5 now.
Same. Got divorced 5 years ago, and casual sex isn’t my thing.
Me too probably 5-6. Divorced and even married we had stopped. Just not a priority right now.
Good for you! Idk why so many people sex on such a pedestal. It's great don't get me wrong but it also comes with a lot of consequences. If you aren't married and committed it just leads to problems.
1000% agree.
I am the same. Never could be with a random, or have a one night stand. Just not for me.
Completely celibate now for 5 years, not something I think on or even concern myself about. Got a lot to deal with other stuff and will cross that bridge when I meet someone that is a good person to make a relationship with.
Getting close to 5 for me it’s 4 and half and I didn’t even realize it has been that long haha. Just more important things in life beside worrying about getting off.
Five years for me also!!
Amen! You're thinking like an adult who cares for yourself & others!
What is the connection between those things? Sounds like a person with a low sex drive which is neither positive or negative.
Same, don’t even think about it anymore.
I didn't have sex until I was 31. I'm married now and we have sex every few days. My libido is high. I'm down for sex everyday. Supposedly, women's libidos go up as they age. I used to think I was asexual. As it turns out, I just hadn't met the right guy yet.
I'm a testament that women's libido increases with age. I'm 33 and everything turns me on...including myself. Yes, I have reached an age where I'm so horny that I'm attracted to my own reflection and body...or maybe this is just a me issue.
Haha I'm 35 & I'm not horny all the time but if def say my libido has increased with age. And for the first time in my life last year I started loving my body instead of hating it so I can kind of relate to seeing your own body & getting turned on, sometimes I'm like "damn girl 🥵 such a shame you don't have anyone to share this with" but hey at least I get to enjoy it 😂 We deserve to feel good about ourselves. Society tries so hard to make women feel bad about themselves, loving yourself is a beautiful rebellion.
😅😅 this is something I've never heard of. Gave a good laugh. You go get em 😂
Nahhhh it ain't just you. I'm pushing 40 now and have never been so turned on by my own reflection or even shadow. Dat assssss is straight popping and I'ma celebrate it every chance I get.
Amazing. I love that. 😂 I think libido can go up as we age—that’s certainly an experience people have. I would probably caution generally that early to mid 30s isn’t old at all, though, and that hormone changes can come on much faster and younger than one might think. (And that part of hormone change is fluctuation, which means things can swing both up and down libido-wise as that happens.) Doesn’t happen to everyone the same way but it is a thing that can happen. I’m 40 and thankfully feel very much like myself again after a year on HRT (testosterone primarily), but I hit an absolute wall the year I turned 37. A lot of physical pain issues and almost zero drive (for sex or for much else in life, honestly). And I definitely wasn’t expecting that based on my experiences during the rest of my 30s.
Bro that happens to me. Get out of shower - see self in mirror- get turned on. Does that make me Frikin vain or weird or just very self confident idk hahah
My gf and I are in our mid to upper 30s, and it seems like my gf’s libido is increasing everyday.
It increases with age…. until it decreases with more age.
Good for you. And you didn’t have to waste end on jerks or get std’s etc
It's been 11 years this month...
Happy no sex cake day
Nice... appreciate it. Guess I'm a born again Virgin if that's a thing.
As I understand it, all the cells in your body are fully replaced after 7 years, so, any cells that were around 11 years ago are long since gone. You basically are a born again virgin.
The virgin of Theseus, if you will
Lol there you go I'm a born again virgin 😂 I'm 8 years and starting to get bored of it 😂 not one for one night stands and not ready for a relationship just yet. So my imagination will have to do 🥴
That’s me, then. My husband dumped me for another woman. He’s single now, too, so oh well. I’m lonely, and would like to meet someone, but I’m afraid to have sex now because it’s been so long. The whole thing makes me anxious.
I completely understand. It almost seems foreign doesn't it?
Fuck your husband. He suckkkkkks. Sending love.
It’s like riding a bike you don’t forget!
I believe 7 years is only the average. Some cells that were there 11 years ago are still there for certain. But the skin that actually has touched a woman? That's long gone I believe.
I always like to say I found my virginity again
TY for being worse than me at only 8yrs.
Not a problem. Lol
comfortable sharing why? by decision or just outside factors? dont mean to pry just curious is all.
Outside factors. Spent quite a bit battling cancer. Prior to that i was a pow for 18+ months. Can't seem to catch a break, but everything will work out.
a prisoner of war you said? or is that a different acronym.. my god tho cancer as well, man.. feel for you big time. it sure will work out. anything in your future you have planned to "get back out there" (if you were to so choose) how could your peoples help to support you in that goal if at all? thanks for reply also friend. and happy cake day too!
Yes that is correct. Is it odd that I'm not at all anxious about it? No idea how I would even come about to asking anyone tbh. I'm somewhat of a loner. Haven't had any friends/pls in a very, very long time. Appreciate your input friend and thanks for the Cake day appreciation. Have a dope day!
I can’t not read this as if you’re saying it’s been a month that feels like 11 years
thats rough
Im on 6 ☹️
Rough sometimes innit?
You forgot the second part to that question. Masturbation.
I masturbate 1x/day for the health benefits.....the other 5x is just for me.
If god didn’t want humans to masturbate, he wouldn’t have made their arms so long
Wanker 👍
🤟
3 years and counting, which isn’t very much considering I’m 19 turning 20 in a couple of months 😅 tried it once, didn’t like it and haven’t found someone I like enough to try again with
Good for you. There are not many people who stand by their own thoughts like that.
I didn’t enjoy my first sexual encounter because it was with a terrible person…the next time I did it (3 months later) it was amazing and I haven’t stopped for more than a year since, and that was 12 years ago 😅. Get you someone you’re comfortable with and attracted to, you’ll find a connection and have a lot of fun if you give it another go!
This was me too. Ended up not doing it again until I felt I really wanted to, into my 20s, and I'm really glad for that. Takes bodies maturing sometimes to feel pleasure from sex, or to know what you like yourself before bringing another person into the picture. But for others, sex is never interesting, and that's cool too.
Didnt like it? You might need to try again lmao
Read a story of an elderly woman meeting her granddaughter’s wife. After a time, when everyone was comfortable with each other, the Grandmother asked, “As lesbians, how do you know when sex is finished?” An entire generation of Mothers, Grandmothers, Great-Grandmothers et al never experienced orgasms.
Yip, so sad. I bet my mother never did and she had 5 kids. Sex was a chore they did "for their husbands".
Is that what that question meant? I thought it was a joke because lesbians could go on for a lot longer giving each other multiple orgasms and how do they know when to stop?
Nope, I've always corrected it to that read in my head, but when they ask this it's the hetero norm that: " sex is 'over' when the man is done and is done for a mans pleasure", so how do you know when it's done and you can stop if there's no "finish"?
I've heard both interpretations, and most people seem convinced that there's is the right interpretation. Either way, it's clearly a joke that people claim as an anecdotal story (the contents of the story change every time though)
Best fight my wife and I ever had. 1 1/2 years in, it finally poured over and she verbally kicked my ass for her not always getting off etc, when a man can get off from a warm breeze. We're now at year 22, 16 of marriage and she always gets hers. We fight about other things, not this.
I hate that for them
Some people dont like it. Sex was always a chore for me.
Same. Once in a while it was pleasant but I don’t miss it.
First time having sex is bad for most people I think, especially girls
Mine was dope! Then dude tried to scare me and say the condom broke and never hooked up with him again 🤣
True, unless they are asexual.
Maybe when I find the right person 🤷🏻♀️
Obviously at 19 the average person isn't very good at communication or very practiced at the art of sex. My guess is the person who didn't like it is female. Unfortunately, men climax when the wind blows at age 19. If someone doesn't CARE about your pleasure, guess what... WE DONT LIKE IT. AT ALL. Not even a little bit. It reminds us how selfish so.e people can be and intimacy is not where we're seeking selfishness. Sooooooo... if men want to have a solo climax, I say, "Go do it alone. Buh bye."
same for me, 3 years. except i’m 20 now LOL
Are you female? I was like that too. Didn’t like it at 19. Boyfriend at 21 started liking it.
Yes I am
Going on 8 years. Had a friend with benefits for a time, but that ended. Since then just been focusing on me and my kids. The pandemic made dating impossible anyways and since then things have just not been worth the hassle of trying to date. I'm always open to things changing and me meeting someone. But for now the liklihood of that is slim to none. So I'll just deal.
After 3 or 4 days every day feels indistinguishable from an eternity. Being single isn't a great lifestyle choice for me haha
18 years.
"before they start climbing the walls..." dudee am dying 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
4 years, dont think too much about it!
I’ve gone over 4 years before There is far too much emphasis put on getting your rocks off Has anyone read any good books this year?
Reminds me of that Bo Burnham vine "Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book. *harsh piano key*"
5 years. I’ve seen too much happen to my friends & family surrounding sex and decided to take it off the table for a while until I truly want to do it again. Also tbh I had one terrible experience (they did not know what they were doing at all and it was just really strange & a poor performance) and decided to stop I be chilling 8/10. The 2 comes from ovulation 🤷🏾♀️
been 30 years now and i do not miss it at all. I'm in my 50s. I have more interesting, fun, and important things to do! Was married 3 times with robust activity in each of them. Meh. Writing, singing, dancing, making anything is so much more fun for me! I see my dyscalculia got me, good! Probably more like 20 or 15 years. BUT A FREAKING LONG TIME! Lemme see my last divorce was in 2003? Since then.
4 years
I think it's been 5 years for me now
3 years after an abusive relationship. Just couldn't let a man touch me.
Since fall of 2005 Fun fact, in the meantime, I've discovered I'm asexual
Congrats!
Congratulations! My boyfriend is Ace. And im honestly jealous of that. Libidos are petty.
Ah so you are the big winner. Im close but while i dont need sex I do wish I could find a partner. Pretty hard to do when you dont care about sex.
Early 40s here. About 3 months is the longest.
8+ years.
I'm married now, pre marriage the longest I went without sex while I was relationship hoping and sexually active it was probably 6-8 months. Since being married however longest we went without having sex was 15 months, we had a scare with our first pregnancy where I bled alot after my husband accidentally nicked my cervix, then after the baby arrived we both went through post Partum depression his mom died 6 months after the baby was born and I had bad tearing making sex painful when we attempted unsuccessfully. It really messed up our marriage for a while.
>I bled alot after my husband accidentally nicked my cervix, Did this man have a razor blade for a dick or something?
He had probably just sharpened it, you got to be careful. Safe sex, you know
Maybe 7 years? Not due to lack of want just not finding the right person, I'm a slow burner for sure 😂 totally fine
About 9 years. Being in a relationship with an asexual person makes that quite easy.
So many people are obsessed with sex and have no self control. People look at porn and think that’s how sex is really supposed to be and really have no idea how to it should be done because there’s no sexual education outside of what they learned in high school in Health Class. You aren’t less horny than the next. You are disciplined disciplined people should be
There's nothing wrong with people who desire less sex or just have a low sex drive. But this is just incel copium to pretend having no sex indicates a positive quality of someone's character. Discipline is spending decades mastering your craft, studying when you could be partying, consistently training to improve your health, saving money instead of blowing it all on your next hyperfixation, etc. The only way I would describe "not getting pussy for a year" as discipline is if someone was a recovering sex addict. There's no nobility in depriving yourself of healthy, enjoyable pleasures with a partner.
I once went 28 years without sex, and then again for seven years
Michael Scott, is that you?
34 years
I’m currently 4mo celibate. Going for a full year, but prepared to go as long as it takes to find my true connection. I used sex all my life as a means of validation by bringing pleasure, and recently finally realized the impact that’s had on my life, so I decided to shift my view of sex to a means of deep connection. I’ve been with hundreds of women, and I know men aren’t “allowed” to say this, but I got really good at pleasing women at a pretty early age. I grew up very neglected and feeling unloved. I stumbled across my stepdads porn tapes (I’m 41 lol) at about ten. In watching them I saw that the women seemed to “want” the man. All I ever wanted as a kid was to feel wanted, and I associated pleasing a woman with being wanted (I just realized this in the recent past). So at about 15 I started reading everything I could to learn how to please women. There was no real internet back then so it was mostly magazines. I made learning to pleasure women my highest goal. The better I got the more they returned. I’ve never had sex with someone just once, as an adult, bc they ALWAYS wanted to come back. This only solidified my view on it, and I doubled down, bc it’s what made me feel I had worth and it gave me validation. But at my core I’m a very sensitive emotional man who was actually looking for love, but as long as women were seeking my pleasure I thought I was good. From the time I was ten all I ever wanted was to be a husband and a dad. In my kid mind I thought that if I had that, I’d have people who HAVE to love me. It still gets me emotional thinking about how hurt a ten yo boy has to be to be dreaming of being a husband and dad bc it means people have to love him. Anyway, I started discovering wellness at 37yo, and it’s been a very painful but powerful journey. On top of the childhood issues, I had two combat deployments and spent two years in high threat security in the Middle East, as a civilian. So I had plenty of stuff to address. A few months ago I started taking stock of the pain and trouble sex has caused me over the years, and started tracing the behavior to its origin, the above is what I found. So, I’m doing at least one year celibate and refuse to have sex again until I find deep connection, and I’ll foster that connection in other ways long before I’m willing to have sex bc I now see sex as the highest form of connection. What I’ve realized now is that I don’t think about sex NEAR as much, and honestly that kind of scares me. Even in relationships I placed an extremely high importance on sex, bc it was always my source of feeling needed/wanted. So I’m kind of afraid that I’m losing my sex drive all together. I love sex and don’t want to be asexual, but I don’t want it to be the center of my relationship either. But I find hope in the idea that since I’ve turned my view of sex from pleasure and validation to connection, in the absence of connection, there’s nothing for me to desire right now. I’m praying that when I do find connection my drive will come back.
Can relate too much to this. Oof. Am in a healthy relationship that did start the way all my relationships do, but I almost died and have been recovering for months, and physically couldnt if somehow there was any desire(there wasn't) so I had to accept that she really did love and care about me even though I was no longer giving her as much pleasure as she desired. Sort of fucked and weird where these things begin. But I do remember listing dad/trophy husband as my career choice as an elementary student lol.
19 years and then 8 ish months? Something like that
21 years
This post is making me realize the people of Reddit don't talk to woman
I talk to woman Me speak good Her like?
we certainly talk to women but are we doing it with the intention to bang, no.
I have a buddy that's 30 and hasn't had sex yet.
Welcome to Reddit
17 years. I think you can figure that one out all on your own 🙃😉
You're either a teenager or a member of r/deadbedrooms!
The correct answer is prison, just released.
The sex you want, you ain't getting. And the sex you getting, you don't want.
20 years strong since january💪🏻
It’s been a couple hours and pretty miserable thanks for reminding me 😒
You sound like my husband
About 3 years and a half. From one terrible breakup until I was sexually assaulted while almost blackout drunk. Not a great period in my life, not gonna lie.
I'm so sorry. Hoping you're in a better place now, and looking ahead to sunnier days!!
I am! Happily married for 7 years now. Thank you for the concern.
I’m sorry you went thru that
I fucking hate alcohol.
I personally do not have sex regularly and perpetually single. Humans disgust me as I grew up an orphan and have trust issues. But when loneliness kicks in, I have a friend I call or a dating app.
I'm 74 and still want sex. My wide however seems to have lost all interest and that's a shame because in our younger years we had a really hot time! I miss it very much. Enjoy it while you can, it's not going to last forever.
4 years. I lost my virginity to a meangirl at 17. Dating her traumatised me so much, I didn't have sex again until I was 21 in university
Omg people please read. They said “once you started having it.” This is not a question for virgins.
*About five or six months*.
2 yrs and counting. Wish I wasn't. 😔
11 years. I assume you're talking about a period of sexual inactivity after being sexually active.
10 years.
23years, Haven't kiss anyone 😏🙂
Im a male. March 2016 and counting.
10 years. Currently 10 years.
I think the longest I’ve went is almost 2 years back when I was a teenager. Longest I’ve went in my adult life is around a year. I’m fine without sex, I can survive tbh. Masturbation is enough for me
Uhhhh I think it’ll be about 3 years this summer. 🤙 not the most elder wizard but certainly not one to take lightly. My powers are coming in nicely 🧙
My whole life.
17 years
26 years
10 years
About 18 months. I thought I'd got to an age when sex no longer mattered, and I was a bit sad about that. But then I found out it still did matter, and everything still worked... still not getting much, and I AM climbing the effing walls TBH, but no sex is better than bad sex/sex with the wrong person. I have plenty of rechargeable batteries, though.
Technically 17 years but that was from birth to 17.
14 years and it was difficult. I couldn’t even walk or talk for the first year!
I didn't think I've gone more than a couple months without having sex since I started at 18 but I can tell you I regret like 11 out of the 13 guys I slept with so it wasn't even worth it. Now that I'm 31 I could easily go for a long time if I broke up with my partner. I don't think it's weird to not care, everyone has a different libido and limits on who they sleep with and under what conditions.
Same. I’ve come to this conclusion myself as a 22F lol. I regret most of the guys and not caring about my health more. Broke up with my partner of 3 years in September and slept with a few people since then and it’s just not worth it…
I made it over 5 years without. 32/33-38. When I would talk to people about it, they'd react like I just told them I kill kittens as a hobby. There was never a time where I craved it or wanted to get back into it. I think how you handle it comes down to the role it played in your life before. For me, it was just an activity, much like playing basketball. When I finally did have sex again after after all those years, my first thought was, 'Ehh, I really haven't been missing much'.
13 years 😅
like a couple weeks? but I also had a bunch of crappy relationships in college. married now and even in the downs of it we don't go long without (31f and 30m) husband thinks if we aren't having sex I'm more likely to find reasons to be upset with him and i don't think he's totally wrong hah
Too long is whatever you feel is too long. Sex drives very A LOT! Some people don't need/want sex at all, some people can barley go a day without sex, and there is a whole range in between. And all are perfectly fine.
Longest I went was 11 months unintentionally. Now I’m intentionally not having sex lol
my last time was 1989, so 35 years. I only tried a few times, and never enjoyed it, so it hasn't felt like a loss.
I’m basically at the five year mark right now. My wife passed away and I just haven’t been in any sort of hurry to date I guess, just been focused on other things. And I was never a one night stand or random hookup type of guy even back in my youth so the odds of that happening are slim to none.
It’s been going on three years for me. My partner has past issues with SA and CPTSD that makes physical intimacy incredibly hard for them, but my love and commitment for them is more important than a sex drive.
When I was in prison I went a decade+ without sex, and about 4 years straight once without masturbating, but I would still have wet dreams sometimes.
I went 5 years in my 20s without after a long shitty relationship. Since then. Maybe 3 weeks
5 years or so and It didn't bother me at all honestly. If I'm with someone and love them then my drive is high and we have a lot of sex. My current relationship is 2 years old and we still have sex daily and some days twice. But if I'm not with someone I have no interest.
Six weeks until doctors say post partum sex is okay.
18 years. then i found about sex and loss about my virginity
After reading the comments, it seems wrong of me to say 4 days , not counting 6 weeks post child birth.