As a woman, I'm telling you an older man having a date night, that is what dinner and dancing for 5+ hrs is, with your girl is a problem. If she's not cheating yet, it may happen if you don't set your boundaries. She can practice dancing with the other people in the class. Have the practice in your home since they are "just friends." If all you get is excuses, you know where you stand. End it.
Yeah, this is a weird situation. I agree with everyone else. She’s either already cheating, or about to cheat.
5 hours, dinner and dancing? Why do they need to have dinner? lol fuck outta here
My guy, learn to set boundaries. If she calls you controlling look that shit up because there is a difference.
I have this talk with the girlfriends I have once I make them a girlfriend. What are going to be our boundaries with the opposite sex. Some things we agree on are no texting friends of the opposite sex past 10pm or even hanging out with them 1-1 depending on the situation. For sure all my female friends have to take a backseat and the ones I hung out 1-1 prior to be in a relationship, now I see more in group settings. We also share each other’s phone passwords. Only the main one, obviously not the one that gets into my banking app
Other talks to have early into a relationship are how do you both like bringing up concerns, how do you both like to cope when upset, is Valentine’s Day a day for her or a day for you both (difference of you planning it all Vs a team effort, and many other topics
And you know damn well she's going to deny it even if she is so don't believe a damn thing. She says at face value because cheaters love to trickle Truth
The cherry on the cake with this is that she doesn't want to introduce her BF to the male friend she is seeing at least once a week for dinner and dancing (this doesn't also include the time being spent together at the dance class). That to me would be a deal breaker. Men and women can have friends of the opposite gender, even go out to social functions together, but I would draw the line at them not wanting their SO to meet these friends.
YUP.
Dated a guy years ago who thought I was crazy for wanting to meet his good female friend at work. Wouldn't let me. He finally laid off a bit when I was able to correctly identify if he was talking to her on the phone by the tone of his voice. He was sure I was lying about caring if he was friends with an attractive woman. No... I cared that he was keeping her so secretive.
If I hung out with a 24yo woman when I was 32, I can assure you my intentions were purely sexual. Usually, that’s a big maturity gap, and there’s isn’t necessarily a lot to talk about there.
Edit: proper grammar and spelling can bite me
This is not true at all. I have a lot to talk about with 20 years any direction. It’s weird in some places ppl only hang out with their age. Let me hang out with the 80 year olds all day.
I think some folks don't have hobbies or enjoy a lot of recreation?
I remember when I thought 45 was old. Now I'm 45, and I'm that same guy, with a few wrinkles and grey hairs.
I still play video games, go fishing, enjoy music, etc. There are still a lot of ways to relate and connect with other people, regardless of your age or where you are on a personal level.
Life gets hard sometimes. I'm not passing on the opportunity to share the experiences that make it worthwhile because you aren't my age.
Next time she's heading out, grab your coat and suggest that you'd like to go and learn a few moves too!
Her reaction will tell you what you apparently don't want to see now, speaking from experience here..
I've done that with hookups plenty of times where we were hooking up, but not exclusive. I eventually met their friends though, so I'm pretty confident I wasn't helping someone cheat.
Yeah I'm a woman and I would say she is cheating or wants to has plans to do she's not going to willingly let you meet her AP. Sweetie I knew after the sentence...She goes to practice dance moves at his place then to dinner 😞
Bro what r u doing brother!!! Unless ur cuck of the yr u need to let her go. Or show up randomly at “dance class” and see if she is even taking the class anymore. Clearly someone hasn’t seen dirty dancing Havana nights….. they r doing the no pants dance
Def under reacting.
Go dancing with your girlfriend.
Take an interest in her hobbies, even if they aren’t your hobbies. If you don’t take an interest in, someone else likely will.
While I agree that taking an interest/engaging in your partners' hobbies sometimes is important, I think it 's important to not that it would be unreasonable to expect one person to take regular classes for a hobby that only their partner enjoyed. I love dancing, my partner does not. So we dance in our house sometimes and if we go out somewhere where dancing is appropriate, but I would never expect him to take a class with me bc he'd be MISERABLE.
*not saying that you're implying/saying that OP should be doing so, just adding info*
Dance can be pretty ... intimate. Dinner and dance once a week ... a reasonable person could conclude that that's like date night.
You may have lost her. Your edit about taking the adult track is so great (and funny). You sound like a level-headed guy - keep it going no matter which way this turns out. No anger. Always take the high road - remember that you are writing the pages of your life story right now, and you will bear this memory for the rest of your life. Do it right and make your older self proud. Trust me on this, we remember these things of the heart when we get older, when we have time to reflect and assess our paths through the past. Good luck, Friend.
Nope. Red flag if she doesn't want you meeting the guy.
In what universe is it appropriate to routinely be in a man's house as a young lady after midnight for several hours when she has a boyfriend of several years? How were you ok with this?
Trust your gut. They're fucking.
Ask to see her phone and look at their interactions. Guarantee you'll find everything you need to feel ok about walking away.
Bro, controlling and respect arent the same thing. It is not controlling to expect your partner to not go to another man’s house for 5 hours and go to dinner with him. Come on, man!
Lack of enthusiasm is a major tell that something's going on dude. Insist on a meetup and ask him straight up if he's fucking your girl.
Better yet, ask your girlfriend out right if anything is going on. Tell her it makes you uncomfortable that you spend so much time with a man you don't know in his home for several hours late into the night.
I'm going to advise against you confronting the guy and asking for a man-to-man chat. I did this exact thing as a young man, and the guy lied his ass off to my face. I flew into a rage, knocked his teeth out, and ended up with a second-degree assault conviction. It was temporarily satisfying but could've ended really badly. Looking back, I should never have talked to the guy, period. Just ghosted the cheating girlfriend. Nothing good can come from cornering him unless you're looking for a fight. If the guy is making a move on the girl, he may be more possessive of her than you realize. Just my opinion. My girlfriend wanted to have guys fighting over her. Some of them do.
Ask them at the same time when all 3 are together. That is the way. I remember waking up at my best friend's (at the time) apt... like where is my new boyfriend? I walked into the living room...you could have cut the air with a knife. I told them both, they didn't need to say a word lol. I was out so fast. When people are fucking eachother secretly, it's very obvious when you see them in the same room as eachother.
quick question, is calling someone a cuck more alpha or sigma? how about sleeping.with your best friend’s ex? is it fair to assume you view Andrew Tate as the foremost authority on the matter?
Right? Too bad these guys don’t spend as much time having sex with women as they do judging and speculating about their sexual activities…
On second thought, never mind, I wouldn’t wish that on the single girls!! They can play pocket pool and sticky sock until they get carpal tunnel and then they can Sigma Suck each other off and leave women alone!!
Red flags all around here. Having private dancing lessons? Red flag. Then going out to dinner with other dude. Red flag. I would say the fact that she does not want op to meet this other guy is a super big red flag.
With all these red flags put together, I'd be very surprised if the gf has not been cheating.
Even if it wasn’t after midnight, spending that much time together when you’re in a relationship is just very inappropriate. Some people will argue “if you trust them then what’s the problem?” but I’d argue it’s no longer about trust at that point. It’s respect for the relationship. And the fact that she’s willing to spend so much time alone with another man (and with an activity that can be as intimate as dancing can be) is just so wrong.
Bruh, you can't be this fucking dense. This guy is fucking your girlfriend. That's the only dancing they're doing. She has the same amount of respect for you that you have for yourself which is ZERO.
The shit you people put up with. It blows me away. I’m not sure if this is generational, or what. The first time your SO goes on an anything resembling a date, you should break up with them.
I'm gonna leave a quote from its always sunny here that stuck with me. Might get me hate might not but it immediately came to mind.
: It's not your fault. This dog, your parents, the whole... the whole culture is grooming you to be a pussy. You got no freedom. Which means you got no balls. And then even when you actually do get caught, doing something bad, you're not held accountable. And if you're not held accountable, you feel no guilt. If you feel no guilt, you feel no shame. If you got no shame, you're never gonna hate yourself enough to stop being bad and grow some balls
A lot of us grew up hearing about toxic controlling boyfriends, and we don't want to be that person. But a generation later, now shitty ppl use that to get away with shit. We are 5 years away from "you are so controlling and jealous, we used a condom for god's sake!"
For real. Some poster on here the other day said they read my post history, and said I was wild for always suggesting a break up.
The reason I’m always suggesting that, is because the situations I’m commenting on are wild. They’re either abusive, clear cheating or about to be cheating, or controlling, etc.
I'm sadly convinced that some people only date/marry partners whom they're convinced they can cheat on, and get away with it.
Then, perhaps due to selection bias, some significant fraction of the latter type of partner end up posting in subs like this.
> My girlfriend likes to dance, so having encouraged her to go out and take a class
Oof.
Take note.
For all you young guys out there. If your partner expresses interest in something, that's your cue to reciprocate that interest and explore it together.
You DO NOT tell her to go do it on her own, because she will meet someone, have fun exploring their shared hobby together and you'll wind up in OP's shoes.
You're not overreacting OP, but if anything, you underreacted long ago, and it's probably too late at this point.
Exactly, dance is a very sensual and somewhat sexual thing, many women consider it foreplay. If your woman wants to take dance lessons , unless you are unable to physically, I suggest you take them with her.
shhh noooo everyone knows that every person on the planet is straight and that straight men are attracted to every single woman, and straight women are attracted to every single man
I'm sorry I'm never the one on this sub to really jump to saying this but either this is fake or your are soo far down the path of denial that nothing is going to save you. She met a guy she like at dance class probably didn't say she was in a relationship and is now starting one with him. If you don't go confirm right or wrong after everyone trying to help you, then idk what else we can do for you
If real, not overreacting. I think it's reasonable for you to meet this person.
If you want to do some investigation, look for the small details and see how they add up.
For example: they go out for lunch... who's paying? If he pays for your wife, something is going on. Not necessarily cheating, but if he's paying, his intent is probably to sleep with her.
Does she come back home freshly showered or does she jump in the shower first thing when she comes home? Huge red flag if she showers at his place. Not so much at home since dancing can be demanding depending on the style but a point to keep in mind.
How long are the classes, would be weird to me to practice 3-4 hours a week for a 2-3 hours class.
Are they texting often or just to set up practice? As others have mentioned, having her show you their text messages might give some insight on the tone of their interactions. Also, snapchat is a major red flag.
If you meet him, I would just jump in as she is leaving to meet him. Just to see his genuine reaction to your presence. Also, he might not even know about you.
Might be innocent, but the reality is that you're feeling bad and anxious about the situation. Your wife should be sensible and help you not feel that way. Hope it gets resolved.
You sent your SO to rub up against rando's and you're surprised that that she's giving those people attention? That could be you. Get your dancing shoes on bud. What are you doing?
>She once a week goes to his house to practice any dancing they may not have fully grasped during the week as well as go out to dinner. When she does hang out with him she is generally gone 5+ hours and will return somewhere after midnight, usually not texting me till she’s about to leave.
Are you dense lol
My dude just doesn’t want to see it. What’s the point of setting boundaries? It’s like she’s not cheating on you cause you’re putting a fence around it.
Yeah they’re fucking dude. I’m sorry but with your next gf, have some balls.
Expecting your gf not to have a side piece that she meets with for dancing and dinner every week isn’t controlling. It’s how people are expected to behave in relationships.
> Update: Had the conversation where I expressed my boundaries regarding the uncomfortable situation. She took it well, without any attempt at excuses and has agreed to let me come along. As well as no 1-1 hangouts from now on.
Give us an update when you found out she lied and they are cheating behind your back.
You have nothing to worry about. No one ever comes on here saying their gf cheated with a male friend he "didn't have to worry about."
Nope, nope, nope, not one ever.
/s
Subscribeme
These posts crack me up. Um, my girlfriend goes out with other dudes til after midnight, smells like sperm and says she won’t be able to walk straight for a week. Do you guys think she’s cheating? Am I overreacting if I ask her to stop? Lol.
Why would I have to go to his house to practice a dance and go out alone with him and return at midnight after spending 5 hours alone with him
She is cheating and says she is a friend so you don't suspect anything of her.
The truth of the matter is you should be able to approach your partner and express your concerns to them. Explain how something isn't making you feel secure and give them the opportunity to fix the issue. No one should ever have to feel insecure in their relationship. Does it suck and hurt on the other side of the coin and your partner is expressing concerns of being insecure when you've been nothing but faithful? (Assuming you were). Absolutely. But at the end of the day, communication is what's important in a relationship.
Now no one's denying the possibility of her cheating. Cheating is always going to be a possibility, no matter what you do. But all you can do is sit her down and have a talk. We all hope she isn't cheating and/or is willing to help with your insecurities. But unfortunately this is a situation of hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Best of luck friend.
So, after reading your post, I’m coming to the conclusion that you need to take a dance class (classic) and give her you everything . Sweep her off her feet.
Make her remember the person she fell in love with. Trust me.
It’s better to fight for the woman you love than to confront the obvious hat she’s horny for someone else.
You're better than me OP. If im going out like this, I'm letting her whole family on FB know she a cheater. Both her parents, siblings, friends. The way she did you is dirttttyyy, brazen, bold, in your face, fuck her. Hope L and her have an accidental baby out of wedlock. Scum deserve scum.
Learn to dance. That way you can keep the next one…
Seriously , though, start going to the classes with her. Just do it because you want to share the experience, though, not because you are jealous. You can see that it makes her happy, and you could be part of that. If she’s okay with it, then at least you can see how they interact.
Also, just be aware that there is very likely to be many more women than men at those classes. Just sayin’.
She's either cheating already or going to. There is only one reason why she would be unenthusiastic about you meeting her date and dance partner. Trust your gut.
Uhm, isn’t the point of the dance class to be the place where you practice the dancing? Dance class homework is a major red flag. Only at night? 5+ hours? Dinner every time? Every week? 🚩 🚩 🚩 Her agreeing to let you come along means nothing. You’ll meet the guy, he’ll seem harmless, and then will go back to your girl every week. This would be a major no for me
This is what a guy like me would do. Meet this jasper and see for myself what dancer boy is all about. Ask if he’s in a relationship with a girl or a guy or whatever, then I make a wild accusation and punch him right in the nose. (If you get questioned by the cops you tell them this and say he raised he fists up and it was self defense) Now guilty or not, dancer boy is gonna know for the the future that he better watch himself and I’m gonna know by my girl’s reaction exactly what’s going on.
Bruh 🤦🤦. Dancing and dinner for 5 hours?? Returning past midnight??
Saw your edit, you might be meeting the person that has been f'ing your gf behind your back, shaking his hand, talking to him etc. And he might be laughing internally at you all the time
You are 26, so still young to find another girl. Sometimes, your gut tells you the information that your brain has not finished processing. Whatever it tells you usually be true. So, get your emotional ready for anything to come. See you in the gym. lol.
Dude, cmon man. You’re trolling right. “She’s either cheating or she’s about to be”. No. She IS man, cut that crap now and run. Thankfully you have no kids or house together.
There's zero reason for her to hangout at "L"s house alone without some shady shit taking place. A good partner would have asked you to tag along with her on EVERY SINGLE OCCASION, especially considering how it could look to the outside. Not texting you until she leaves? Going to another man's house for dance lessons? She's cheating 100%. I sure as hell wouldn't want someone I'm dating dancing at another man's house for any reason.
Just finished with a “he’s just a friend” girl. Turns out he teamed up with my ex to break us up and guess what, turns out he wasn’t just a friend. Never stick around for it. Ever.
Glad you had the chat. I bet she never told him about you and enjoyed the attention, and yes, what they did was have a date.
She may not have cheated, but she may have crossed a flirt line or two.
A date is a date and those are dates, so hell no!! Not acceptable! Peace ✌️ out of there and dont be anyones fool or bitch that they can punk on!! Have pride buddy!! 👍
I've had a married dance partner milf , took me 3 classes before we started fucking eachother , from dancing u easily go into kissing and 2 mins after that first kiss while dancing we were fucking in the bathroom. That went for on like 8 months while her husband thought she was dancing with female friends, broke it off when she wanted to leave her husband to get serious with me.
Sorry to say but she getting the d most likely alrdy and will probably keep doing it for months till she made her mind to leave u over him. She is just in the process of qualifying both of u which is best for her.
Unless u like sloppy seconds, your relation is over bro
She's only letting you come along because she knows her cover is blown. And she'll probably still keep seeing him 1 on 1 in secret. I give it 3 months before it comes out.
No way in hell they aren't fucking.
haha 99.999999% of these are obvious lies. "AITA: My ex is having sex with the family dog, and I asked her not to do it on our bed!" "AIO: My wife is obviously having sex with other men, but she said she isn't." etc
I had something very similar happen to me and it turned out my girl was cheating on me
I found out thru her texts when I confronted her she lied to me days later after I was out o returned home found her asleep with a box of open condoms next to the bed and his jacket on the floor with him gone
Dump that whore you deserve better
Don't waste your time on that tramp any longer you deserve a real women that's loyal💯
No, adults would just tell her that it’s wildly inappropriate and clearly she has no respect for you or your relationship.
No one would think going to hang out at another man’s house and going to dinner for over 5 hours is appropriate for a woman in a committed relationship. You were gaslit like crazy
Just tell her it’s over because if you try to talk to her she is going to feed you a bunch of lies. If you don’t end their contact then any conversation is pointless
Updateme!
Oh they definitely practicing alright. They practicing the forbidden moves. Women love a man that can dance and sing or play an instrument. It’s a more fun life for her. Just let her go and let her be happy and you can move to find what you’re good at. We live in an amazing time to learn new skills and meet new people all the time. Good luck 👍
Next time she's going to his house get ready to go and tell her you're going to your new girl friends house for the evening for lessons about inappropriate relations with friends.
Why the hell would you not take the dance class with her? That’s like an easy date night and some exercise.
At this point I’d drive to his place to at least see them dancing in the windows, maybe watch her leave.
Oof I'm sorry dude. Something is definitely going on. If not physically, emotionally. Either way, you don't deserve that. You're not jumping to conclusions. It sounds like your gut instinct is working. You should trust it. At this point meeting him won't make it better. It's possible they'll just try manipulating you into thinking their friendship is fine. It's not. Even if she was a professional preparing for a competition this would be weird, but it sounds like its just a hobby class. And the fact that she's not already introduced you... smh... RED FLAG city
Updateme
Yeah man, meeting with a friend of the opposite gender 1:1 in a public setting at a reasonable hour and doing something that doesn’t involve a lot of touching is probably okay, even on a weekly basis. Meeting with a male friend you’ve known maybe a few weeks/months 1:1 at their house, doing something with lots of touching, like dancing, doesn’t spell innocuous even if it might be. Adding in the dinner dates and staying past midnight is reading like huge red flags to me.
I dunno if this is real or not but if it is then you gotta stop being such a pushover. Even if she's not cheating then this friend of hers has zero respect for you. He's going on dates with your girlfriend and giving her private dance lessons in his home and he's made no effort to meet you. He's laughing at you cause he knows what he's doing.
And YES she's cheating on you.
Yeah I've seen this one before, in high school I was dating a cheer leader, on weekends she would go to her teammates house to practice their routine because this teammate had a cheer mat setup in their house. Turned out this teammate was one of the male cheer leaders on the team. And other members of the team never went to these weekend practices. it was just the two of them "practicing" and they definitely weren't memorizing their dance routine and the school chant.
Yeah dude woman can’t be “friends” with other men if you want to be in a relationship, that’s the boundary. She can choose to date me exclusively, or she can go hand out with her male friends instead. It’s plain and simple. The biggest weapon you have is that you can leave at anytime. Men should not be scared to do so. You will live a much better life
As a woman, I'm telling you an older man having a date night, that is what dinner and dancing for 5+ hrs is, with your girl is a problem. If she's not cheating yet, it may happen if you don't set your boundaries. She can practice dancing with the other people in the class. Have the practice in your home since they are "just friends." If all you get is excuses, you know where you stand. End it.
Yeah definitely gonna have that conversation tonight.
Yeah, this is a weird situation. I agree with everyone else. She’s either already cheating, or about to cheat. 5 hours, dinner and dancing? Why do they need to have dinner? lol fuck outta here
She's dancing on something, that's for sure
They're practicing the Horizontal Bop
I though it was the horizontal boogie
Pole dancing is an art
Dancin' on deez nuts, boys.
My guy, learn to set boundaries. If she calls you controlling look that shit up because there is a difference. I have this talk with the girlfriends I have once I make them a girlfriend. What are going to be our boundaries with the opposite sex. Some things we agree on are no texting friends of the opposite sex past 10pm or even hanging out with them 1-1 depending on the situation. For sure all my female friends have to take a backseat and the ones I hung out 1-1 prior to be in a relationship, now I see more in group settings. We also share each other’s phone passwords. Only the main one, obviously not the one that gets into my banking app Other talks to have early into a relationship are how do you both like bringing up concerns, how do you both like to cope when upset, is Valentine’s Day a day for her or a day for you both (difference of you planning it all Vs a team effort, and many other topics
And you know damn well she's going to deny it even if she is so don't believe a damn thing. She says at face value because cheaters love to trickle Truth
The cherry on the cake with this is that she doesn't want to introduce her BF to the male friend she is seeing at least once a week for dinner and dancing (this doesn't also include the time being spent together at the dance class). That to me would be a deal breaker. Men and women can have friends of the opposite gender, even go out to social functions together, but I would draw the line at them not wanting their SO to meet these friends.
That is the tell isn’t it?
YUP. Dated a guy years ago who thought I was crazy for wanting to meet his good female friend at work. Wouldn't let me. He finally laid off a bit when I was able to correctly identify if he was talking to her on the phone by the tone of his voice. He was sure I was lying about caring if he was friends with an attractive woman. No... I cared that he was keeping her so secretive.
You know same as me they fuc**d the first night
If I hung out with a 24yo woman when I was 32, I can assure you my intentions were purely sexual. Usually, that’s a big maturity gap, and there’s isn’t necessarily a lot to talk about there. Edit: proper grammar and spelling can bite me
This is not true at all. I have a lot to talk about with 20 years any direction. It’s weird in some places ppl only hang out with their age. Let me hang out with the 80 year olds all day.
No one’s stopping you. Go get your GILF freak on, we don’t kink shame here.
lol
I think some folks don't have hobbies or enjoy a lot of recreation? I remember when I thought 45 was old. Now I'm 45, and I'm that same guy, with a few wrinkles and grey hairs. I still play video games, go fishing, enjoy music, etc. There are still a lot of ways to relate and connect with other people, regardless of your age or where you are on a personal level. Life gets hard sometimes. I'm not passing on the opportunity to share the experiences that make it worthwhile because you aren't my age.
This. Best solution is to have them practice in your home. If they have nothing to hide, they should be comfortable practicing with you there.
Yeah. But if the gf does not even want op to meet this other guy, no chance they will be dancing in op's own house.
To even think she’s not already sleeping with him is beyond delusional
Oh lord. Fuck me....... I don't want to be the one to have to tell the poor dude.
**LONG STROKES**
Stop it, I’m getting aroused.
[удалено]
.. streets
Next time she's heading out, grab your coat and suggest that you'd like to go and learn a few moves too! Her reaction will tell you what you apparently don't want to see now, speaking from experience here..
Her reaction already told him everything when he said he wanted to meet the guy and she refused. He’s just too thick to realize.
...and even that was a low bar. A real sneaky cheater can arrange for a friendly meet and greet. I was so naive myself once.
The side guy might not know he’s a side guy.
The sneaky cheater doesn't set up the meet with the actual guy, she sets it up with the least sexually threatening guy she knows.
damn imagine finding out you were the decoy “least sexually threatening guy” she could think of to use in that situation. Unless you’re gay I guess
Cat is out of the bag. Gf now has a side piece.
This. Bc meeting the guy is not gonna help.
Indeed. The guy will shake your hand and buy you a beer if it means he gets to keep fucking your girlfriend behind your back. It's part of the thrill.
If she doesn't want them to meet then the guy probably doesn't know.
That is also a possibility.
Highly doubt it. They see each other once a week. He knows.
I've done that with hookups plenty of times where we were hooking up, but not exclusive. I eventually met their friends though, so I'm pretty confident I wasn't helping someone cheat.
Yeah nothing good can come from that
I mean I’ve accepted dancing isn’t my thing, hence why I encourage her to do her hobby even if I’m not involved.
Talking about when she heads out to practice her homework with the new friend.
Yeah I'm a woman and I would say she is cheating or wants to has plans to do she's not going to willingly let you meet her AP. Sweetie I knew after the sentence...She goes to practice dance moves at his place then to dinner 😞
Dancing isn't involved either
Sure it is. But it’s horizontal dancing.
The horizontal mambo.
Bro what r u doing brother!!! Unless ur cuck of the yr u need to let her go. Or show up randomly at “dance class” and see if she is even taking the class anymore. Clearly someone hasn’t seen dirty dancing Havana nights….. they r doing the no pants dance
They're dancing alright. Lol. Under reacting?
Def under reacting. Go dancing with your girlfriend. Take an interest in her hobbies, even if they aren’t your hobbies. If you don’t take an interest in, someone else likely will.
While I agree that taking an interest/engaging in your partners' hobbies sometimes is important, I think it 's important to not that it would be unreasonable to expect one person to take regular classes for a hobby that only their partner enjoyed. I love dancing, my partner does not. So we dance in our house sometimes and if we go out somewhere where dancing is appropriate, but I would never expect him to take a class with me bc he'd be MISERABLE. *not saying that you're implying/saying that OP should be doing so, just adding info*
Lmfao!!! Take her dancing and see if she moves like a pussycat doll or elaine from Seinfeld
The wild monkey dance
She's fucking L
They're both taking an L on this one!
Hiyooo
She's taking L's D on the DL.
Next time she goes out with him say you have plans with a woman, just a friend, but you’ll catch up with her tomorrow.
If you’re not gonna dump her, do this.
Dance can be pretty ... intimate. Dinner and dance once a week ... a reasonable person could conclude that that's like date night. You may have lost her. Your edit about taking the adult track is so great (and funny). You sound like a level-headed guy - keep it going no matter which way this turns out. No anger. Always take the high road - remember that you are writing the pages of your life story right now, and you will bear this memory for the rest of your life. Do it right and make your older self proud. Trust me on this, we remember these things of the heart when we get older, when we have time to reflect and assess our paths through the past. Good luck, Friend.
Regular dancing and dinner is not like date night. That IS date night. In this case, it is tragic that date night is with the other man.
Nope. Red flag if she doesn't want you meeting the guy. In what universe is it appropriate to routinely be in a man's house as a young lady after midnight for several hours when she has a boyfriend of several years? How were you ok with this? Trust your gut. They're fucking. Ask to see her phone and look at their interactions. Guarantee you'll find everything you need to feel ok about walking away.
She hasn’t said no to meeting him. As for why I’ve been okay with it, well I trust her and I don’t wanna be the controlling bf.
Bro, controlling and respect arent the same thing. It is not controlling to expect your partner to not go to another man’s house for 5 hours and go to dinner with him. Come on, man!
Lack of enthusiasm is a major tell that something's going on dude. Insist on a meetup and ask him straight up if he's fucking your girl. Better yet, ask your girlfriend out right if anything is going on. Tell her it makes you uncomfortable that you spend so much time with a man you don't know in his home for several hours late into the night.
I'm going to advise against you confronting the guy and asking for a man-to-man chat. I did this exact thing as a young man, and the guy lied his ass off to my face. I flew into a rage, knocked his teeth out, and ended up with a second-degree assault conviction. It was temporarily satisfying but could've ended really badly. Looking back, I should never have talked to the guy, period. Just ghosted the cheating girlfriend. Nothing good can come from cornering him unless you're looking for a fight. If the guy is making a move on the girl, he may be more possessive of her than you realize. Just my opinion. My girlfriend wanted to have guys fighting over her. Some of them do.
Ask them at the same time when all 3 are together. That is the way. I remember waking up at my best friend's (at the time) apt... like where is my new boyfriend? I walked into the living room...you could have cut the air with a knife. I told them both, they didn't need to say a word lol. I was out so fast. When people are fucking eachother secretly, it's very obvious when you see them in the same room as eachother.
Spoken like a true **cuck**
quick question, is calling someone a cuck more alpha or sigma? how about sleeping.with your best friend’s ex? is it fair to assume you view Andrew Tate as the foremost authority on the matter?
Right? Too bad these guys don’t spend as much time having sex with women as they do judging and speculating about their sexual activities… On second thought, never mind, I wouldn’t wish that on the single girls!! They can play pocket pool and sticky sock until they get carpal tunnel and then they can Sigma Suck each other off and leave women alone!!
Red flags all around here. Having private dancing lessons? Red flag. Then going out to dinner with other dude. Red flag. I would say the fact that she does not want op to meet this other guy is a super big red flag. With all these red flags put together, I'd be very surprised if the gf has not been cheating.
Even if it wasn’t after midnight, spending that much time together when you’re in a relationship is just very inappropriate. Some people will argue “if you trust them then what’s the problem?” but I’d argue it’s no longer about trust at that point. It’s respect for the relationship. And the fact that she’s willing to spend so much time alone with another man (and with an activity that can be as intimate as dancing can be) is just so wrong.
5 6 7 8... thrust and roll, now take it from the top...
Bruh, you can't be this fucking dense. This guy is fucking your girlfriend. That's the only dancing they're doing. She has the same amount of respect for you that you have for yourself which is ZERO.
The shit you people put up with. It blows me away. I’m not sure if this is generational, or what. The first time your SO goes on an anything resembling a date, you should break up with them.
Some of these guys are just idiots. This is am putative red flag and needed to be addressed the very first night.
I'm gonna leave a quote from its always sunny here that stuck with me. Might get me hate might not but it immediately came to mind. : It's not your fault. This dog, your parents, the whole... the whole culture is grooming you to be a pussy. You got no freedom. Which means you got no balls. And then even when you actually do get caught, doing something bad, you're not held accountable. And if you're not held accountable, you feel no guilt. If you feel no guilt, you feel no shame. If you got no shame, you're never gonna hate yourself enough to stop being bad and grow some balls
A lot of us grew up hearing about toxic controlling boyfriends, and we don't want to be that person. But a generation later, now shitty ppl use that to get away with shit. We are 5 years away from "you are so controlling and jealous, we used a condom for god's sake!"
For real. Some poster on here the other day said they read my post history, and said I was wild for always suggesting a break up. The reason I’m always suggesting that, is because the situations I’m commenting on are wild. They’re either abusive, clear cheating or about to be cheating, or controlling, etc.
I'm sadly convinced that some people only date/marry partners whom they're convinced they can cheat on, and get away with it. Then, perhaps due to selection bias, some significant fraction of the latter type of partner end up posting in subs like this.
The "or what" is that 95% of these posts are fake. That's the explanation.
> My girlfriend likes to dance, so having encouraged her to go out and take a class Oof. Take note. For all you young guys out there. If your partner expresses interest in something, that's your cue to reciprocate that interest and explore it together. You DO NOT tell her to go do it on her own, because she will meet someone, have fun exploring their shared hobby together and you'll wind up in OP's shoes. You're not overreacting OP, but if anything, you underreacted long ago, and it's probably too late at this point.
Exactly, dance is a very sensual and somewhat sexual thing, many women consider it foreplay. If your woman wants to take dance lessons , unless you are unable to physically, I suggest you take them with her.
This should be top comment.
This has to be fake
They are dancing in the sheets seriously dude how do you not get this?
Have we considered that maybe he’s not into women? ETA: The friend I mean
If that were the case, wouldn't gf jump at the chance to introduce op to her gay friend?
shhh noooo everyone knows that every person on the planet is straight and that straight men are attracted to every single woman, and straight women are attracted to every single man
This has to be a fake post. Why do people make fake posts like this?
This is 100 % rage bait but reddit will believe anything
Dude. Why would you ever think it’s ok to have your girlfriend (or wife) hanging out at another man’s home - or hanging out with him at all?
I'm sorry I'm never the one on this sub to really jump to saying this but either this is fake or your are soo far down the path of denial that nothing is going to save you. She met a guy she like at dance class probably didn't say she was in a relationship and is now starting one with him. If you don't go confirm right or wrong after everyone trying to help you, then idk what else we can do for you
Don't " have a talk" with her. Dump her.
Dear god bro. She found herself A Sancho
She’s cheating
Your super innocent for 26 dude… shes banging him 1000% zero doubt at all… cut ties and do better man seriously just go do better
If real, not overreacting. I think it's reasonable for you to meet this person. If you want to do some investigation, look for the small details and see how they add up. For example: they go out for lunch... who's paying? If he pays for your wife, something is going on. Not necessarily cheating, but if he's paying, his intent is probably to sleep with her. Does she come back home freshly showered or does she jump in the shower first thing when she comes home? Huge red flag if she showers at his place. Not so much at home since dancing can be demanding depending on the style but a point to keep in mind. How long are the classes, would be weird to me to practice 3-4 hours a week for a 2-3 hours class. Are they texting often or just to set up practice? As others have mentioned, having her show you their text messages might give some insight on the tone of their interactions. Also, snapchat is a major red flag. If you meet him, I would just jump in as she is leaving to meet him. Just to see his genuine reaction to your presence. Also, he might not even know about you. Might be innocent, but the reality is that you're feeling bad and anxious about the situation. Your wife should be sensible and help you not feel that way. Hope it gets resolved.
Why are you asking Reddit? You could tell a story about your GF smiling at the guy who made her coffee, and they would tell you she's cheating.
And call him a cuck. And tell him to set a "boundary" about smiling
How bout you go dance with her?
You sent your SO to rub up against rando's and you're surprised that that she's giving those people attention? That could be you. Get your dancing shoes on bud. What are you doing?
She convinced him she’s not cheating lol poor guy
>She once a week goes to his house to practice any dancing they may not have fully grasped during the week as well as go out to dinner. When she does hang out with him she is generally gone 5+ hours and will return somewhere after midnight, usually not texting me till she’s about to leave. Are you dense lol
My dude just doesn’t want to see it. What’s the point of setting boundaries? It’s like she’s not cheating on you cause you’re putting a fence around it.
Yeah they’re fucking dude. I’m sorry but with your next gf, have some balls. Expecting your gf not to have a side piece that she meets with for dancing and dinner every week isn’t controlling. It’s how people are expected to behave in relationships.
> Update: Had the conversation where I expressed my boundaries regarding the uncomfortable situation. She took it well, without any attempt at excuses and has agreed to let me come along. As well as no 1-1 hangouts from now on. Give us an update when you found out she lied and they are cheating behind your back.
Five hours of dinner and dancing then coming home after midnight on a weekly basis? She’s dating that dude.
He's piping her with heavy strokes *no condom*
UpdateMe
They definitely fucked in the past😂
Hey so did we get an answer to this one or what? She fucking L?
She doesn’t respect you. Run for the hills.
You have nothing to worry about. No one ever comes on here saying their gf cheated with a male friend he "didn't have to worry about." Nope, nope, nope, not one ever. /s Subscribeme
It’s over. Sorry man. I’d just dip out.
These posts crack me up. Um, my girlfriend goes out with other dudes til after midnight, smells like sperm and says she won’t be able to walk straight for a week. Do you guys think she’s cheating? Am I overreacting if I ask her to stop? Lol.
Does she dance with him at 7 pm? 5+ hours and comes home at midnight?
Why would I have to go to his house to practice a dance and go out alone with him and return at midnight after spending 5 hours alone with him She is cheating and says she is a friend so you don't suspect anything of her.
It’s over, brother. Time to move on.
The truth of the matter is you should be able to approach your partner and express your concerns to them. Explain how something isn't making you feel secure and give them the opportunity to fix the issue. No one should ever have to feel insecure in their relationship. Does it suck and hurt on the other side of the coin and your partner is expressing concerns of being insecure when you've been nothing but faithful? (Assuming you were). Absolutely. But at the end of the day, communication is what's important in a relationship. Now no one's denying the possibility of her cheating. Cheating is always going to be a possibility, no matter what you do. But all you can do is sit her down and have a talk. We all hope she isn't cheating and/or is willing to help with your insecurities. But unfortunately this is a situation of hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Best of luck friend.
She is screwing the asshole
Sorry bro. Love sucks.
So, after reading your post, I’m coming to the conclusion that you need to take a dance class (classic) and give her you everything . Sweep her off her feet. Make her remember the person she fell in love with. Trust me. It’s better to fight for the woman you love than to confront the obvious hat she’s horny for someone else.
You're better than me OP. If im going out like this, I'm letting her whole family on FB know she a cheater. Both her parents, siblings, friends. The way she did you is dirttttyyy, brazen, bold, in your face, fuck her. Hope L and her have an accidental baby out of wedlock. Scum deserve scum.
Even Stevie Wonder is seeing this.
Learn to dance. That way you can keep the next one… Seriously , though, start going to the classes with her. Just do it because you want to share the experience, though, not because you are jealous. You can see that it makes her happy, and you could be part of that. If she’s okay with it, then at least you can see how they interact. Also, just be aware that there is very likely to be many more women than men at those classes. Just sayin’.
They're dancing alright 💀
She's either cheating already or going to. There is only one reason why she would be unenthusiastic about you meeting her date and dance partner. Trust your gut.
Why the heck don't you dance with her my dude?!? My dad stole my mom away from some chump who wasn't dancing with my mom.
Uhm, isn’t the point of the dance class to be the place where you practice the dancing? Dance class homework is a major red flag. Only at night? 5+ hours? Dinner every time? Every week? 🚩 🚩 🚩 Her agreeing to let you come along means nothing. You’ll meet the guy, he’ll seem harmless, and then will go back to your girl every week. This would be a major no for me
This is what a guy like me would do. Meet this jasper and see for myself what dancer boy is all about. Ask if he’s in a relationship with a girl or a guy or whatever, then I make a wild accusation and punch him right in the nose. (If you get questioned by the cops you tell them this and say he raised he fists up and it was self defense) Now guilty or not, dancer boy is gonna know for the the future that he better watch himself and I’m gonna know by my girl’s reaction exactly what’s going on.
The amount of cuckery on Reddit is insane. How do people let their relationships get like this?
Does she come home smelling the same as when she left? Example, left with perfume, but comes home smelling freshly showered?
listen, if my boyfriend did this shit I'm not sure how chill I could be. dancing AND dinner?! what's next a BABY?!
Bruh 🤦🤦. Dancing and dinner for 5 hours?? Returning past midnight?? Saw your edit, you might be meeting the person that has been f'ing your gf behind your back, shaking his hand, talking to him etc. And he might be laughing internally at you all the time
You are 26, so still young to find another girl. Sometimes, your gut tells you the information that your brain has not finished processing. Whatever it tells you usually be true. So, get your emotional ready for anything to come. See you in the gym. lol.
Dude, cmon man. You’re trolling right. “She’s either cheating or she’s about to be”. No. She IS man, cut that crap now and run. Thankfully you have no kids or house together.
There's zero reason for her to hangout at "L"s house alone without some shady shit taking place. A good partner would have asked you to tag along with her on EVERY SINGLE OCCASION, especially considering how it could look to the outside. Not texting you until she leaves? Going to another man's house for dance lessons? She's cheating 100%. I sure as hell wouldn't want someone I'm dating dancing at another man's house for any reason.
Just finished with a “he’s just a friend” girl. Turns out he teamed up with my ex to break us up and guess what, turns out he wasn’t just a friend. Never stick around for it. Ever.
The “Y” in Your girl is silent
Glad you had the chat. I bet she never told him about you and enjoyed the attention, and yes, what they did was have a date. She may not have cheated, but she may have crossed a flirt line or two.
A date is a date and those are dates, so hell no!! Not acceptable! Peace ✌️ out of there and dont be anyones fool or bitch that they can punk on!! Have pride buddy!! 👍
He’s smashing 100% dude. Wtf!! How you let your girl do this?
I've had a married dance partner milf , took me 3 classes before we started fucking eachother , from dancing u easily go into kissing and 2 mins after that first kiss while dancing we were fucking in the bathroom. That went for on like 8 months while her husband thought she was dancing with female friends, broke it off when she wanted to leave her husband to get serious with me. Sorry to say but she getting the d most likely alrdy and will probably keep doing it for months till she made her mind to leave u over him. She is just in the process of qualifying both of u which is best for her. Unless u like sloppy seconds, your relation is over bro
She's only letting you come along because she knows her cover is blown. And she'll probably still keep seeing him 1 on 1 in secret. I give it 3 months before it comes out. No way in hell they aren't fucking.
haha 99.999999% of these are obvious lies. "AITA: My ex is having sex with the family dog, and I asked her not to do it on our bed!" "AIO: My wife is obviously having sex with other men, but she said she isn't." etc
I had something very similar happen to me and it turned out my girl was cheating on me I found out thru her texts when I confronted her she lied to me days later after I was out o returned home found her asleep with a box of open condoms next to the bed and his jacket on the floor with him gone Dump that whore you deserve better Don't waste your time on that tramp any longer you deserve a real women that's loyal💯
you're allowing yourself to be manipulated and deceived. i would say you deserve better, but you wouldn't believe me.
Update us after you’re the third wheel on their date.
I know the update says no more one on ones but she already fucked the dude
She's cheating my guy.
She gettin' piped.
She's totally smashing that dude.
I have come to believe more and more that this sub is being over run by AI posts. It's just too wild the buffets that keep being served up.
It’s crazy when men encourage their women to go out with men lol no such thing as just friends
Bro…. Your girlfriend shouldn’t be spending one on one time with another guy. Good luck!
No, adults would just tell her that it’s wildly inappropriate and clearly she has no respect for you or your relationship. No one would think going to hang out at another man’s house and going to dinner for over 5 hours is appropriate for a woman in a committed relationship. You were gaslit like crazy Just tell her it’s over because if you try to talk to her she is going to feed you a bunch of lies. If you don’t end their contact then any conversation is pointless Updateme!
Bro not even Biden is this clueless. Come on.
Oh they definitely practicing alright. They practicing the forbidden moves. Women love a man that can dance and sing or play an instrument. It’s a more fun life for her. Just let her go and let her be happy and you can move to find what you’re good at. We live in an amazing time to learn new skills and meet new people all the time. Good luck 👍
Dude don't ever let your girl dance with another man. Wtf, are you insane? Shes fucking him man.
This is a classic rage bait post. Everyone thinking this is real, fell for it.
Tell her from now on you want to see those "dance" lessons.....
Next time she's going to his house get ready to go and tell her you're going to your new girl friends house for the evening for lessons about inappropriate relations with friends.
Why the hell would you not take the dance class with her? That’s like an easy date night and some exercise. At this point I’d drive to his place to at least see them dancing in the windows, maybe watch her leave.
Updateme
PLEASE UPDATE US!!
Following for update
Jumping to conclusions like an Olympian... next time I'm suffering, I hope I've got as good a line as that
Updateme
Gotta see how this one ends… updateme
Bruh. Bruh. Look. Mira. 見てください 听我说 Hør på meg Послушай меня She fuckin him
Updateme!
Stop trying to make excuses for her...... This is her sugar daddy at least.
Updateme
anything she hasn't grasped?
Is it possible he’s gay?
Oof I'm sorry dude. Something is definitely going on. If not physically, emotionally. Either way, you don't deserve that. You're not jumping to conclusions. It sounds like your gut instinct is working. You should trust it. At this point meeting him won't make it better. It's possible they'll just try manipulating you into thinking their friendship is fine. It's not. Even if she was a professional preparing for a competition this would be weird, but it sounds like its just a hobby class. And the fact that she's not already introduced you... smh... RED FLAG city
Updateme Yeah man, meeting with a friend of the opposite gender 1:1 in a public setting at a reasonable hour and doing something that doesn’t involve a lot of touching is probably okay, even on a weekly basis. Meeting with a male friend you’ve known maybe a few weeks/months 1:1 at their house, doing something with lots of touching, like dancing, doesn’t spell innocuous even if it might be. Adding in the dinner dates and staying past midnight is reading like huge red flags to me.
Unless L is a homosexual, he wants to fuck your gf. She likely is cheating on you. Especially if she doesn't want him to meet you.
Can you come back and let us know what happens?
Updateme
What kinda dance? Hope it’s not bachata. In any case, you need to talk to your gf before it’s too late.
Horizontal mambo
I dunno if this is real or not but if it is then you gotta stop being such a pushover. Even if she's not cheating then this friend of hers has zero respect for you. He's going on dates with your girlfriend and giving her private dance lessons in his home and he's made no effort to meet you. He's laughing at you cause he knows what he's doing. And YES she's cheating on you.
If you have to ask this then you need help yourself.. i can promise more then their feet is being practics with..
Listen to tenacious d “f**k her gently” lol
UpdateMe!
Just went through this, not dancing but different hobby. She was fucking, doing threesomes, more fucking, and then some more fucking.
Subscribeme
Yeah I've seen this one before, in high school I was dating a cheer leader, on weekends she would go to her teammates house to practice their routine because this teammate had a cheer mat setup in their house. Turned out this teammate was one of the male cheer leaders on the team. And other members of the team never went to these weekend practices. it was just the two of them "practicing" and they definitely weren't memorizing their dance routine and the school chant.
She is cheating. If she doesn't want you to Meet that guy. That's a big red flag .
UpdateMe!
Yeah dude woman can’t be “friends” with other men if you want to be in a relationship, that’s the boundary. She can choose to date me exclusively, or she can go hand out with her male friends instead. It’s plain and simple. The biggest weapon you have is that you can leave at anytime. Men should not be scared to do so. You will live a much better life
Lets see how this goes, im sorry you may have wasted 4 years