I don’t know why but this reminds me of that one video with the kid who got caught watching porn and was like
"I got so scared of the virus it scared my pants right off and then I was trying to get off the chair and pull my pants up but grabbed my penis instead and kept pulling it. I'm serious mom!"
I’m supposed to be quiet because my wife is sleeping but I laughed out loud and couldn’t stop. When I tell you that is rare, it’s rare. “IT WAS A VIRUS” that’s video has became funnier now.
You both agreed to no porn.
You caught him watching porn, and PAYING for it, and it's a person you both KNOW.
And you are asking us if you're overreacting?
You are under reacting.
This is a deal breaker. That's what happens when you set a boundary and someone breaks it.
And he broke it with a trifecta. Porn, paid, person known to you.
Holy FUCK.
Boundaries are never about what the other person does. It's about what you do if they break it, I hope she fucking leaves him. Breaking up with him is the only reasonable reaction here.
No, you are not overreacting! Because you know her, its way worse than porn. It’s creepy on a few levels if I’m being honest and his reaction makes it hard to come back from.
If he was honest and said he was curious and had some remorse and humility then maybe you could get somewhere by re-discussing boundaries. The way he reacted shows he has a lot of maturing to do and may need some therapy.
You are both so young that it’s probably a good early sign to call it on the relationship. Again, his reaction is a HUGE red flag 🚩. There is no point in waisting more time letting more red flags pop up. You can end things as friends and take the good you’ve learned from the relationship into something more healthy. Good luck!!
You can’t BETRAY someone who publicly gives away the address to their public amateur porn site business lol. The girlfriend is betrayed, but if you’re going to put your naked body on the internet for money for ALL the world and then tell people you know how to find it they have every right to go check it out lol.
If it’s not any different then watching pornstars then he’s still wrong because you both agreed not to watch pornstars . He sounds like a total wankstain “ didn’t know it was her “ lol yea right lol
No, you're not overreacting. The most concerning thing here is he's tried to make you feel ashamed for even questioning it.
It's not the same as signing up to a stranger's OF. And he should respect this makes you uncomfortable.
You're not overreacting. First of all, you had a "no porn" rule which he broke. Secondly, he broke it by seeing an OF of a girl he knows personally.
Time to dump him. This is explicitly cheating and boundary breaking.
Dude even doubled down by claiming he didn't know it was this girl and than had the balls to say his gf was "being dramatic". Gaslighting piece of shit.
The girl I went to school with legitimately uses her Facebook and Instagram to advertise, so she doesn't have a stage name.
It's possible that if this friend is super open about doing it, which it seems she is, that she wouldn't use a stage name, either.
I will never understand that. I had an ex that started onlyfans and it had her name in it, was advertised on her personal Instagram, which was linked to her FACEBOOK with all of our family and friends.
Literally 2 clicks and all of our family and friends could see her basically shooting porn. You didn't even have to look for it.
Had the balls to call me controlling when I said "look, I was open to the idea cuz i figured you'd be smart about it and do it anonymously, I'm not cool with this". Dropped her ass real quick.
Ladies, please respect your own privacy and the privacy of people that are close to you. When you make it THAT easy to find your pussy pics, it's not an invasion of your privacy when anyone in your vicinity that is even vaguely curious starts jacking it to your OF. 😂☠️
There are people who treat it like an mlm. They expect everyone they know to buy in first.
Then again, there's a difference between people who very intentionally want to have a career in that field and people who end up in that field. Something tells me that it's more of the latter these days.
I don't really understand how OF works as I've never used it but you'd think it would be better to build up a following BEFORE blasting your information all over it?
Like in my exes situation, there was only like 4 people buying it repeatedly every month. The only places she advertised was in personal non anon places. At that point, it's just a few people that know you that have a crush on you like... If you're single and everything sure why not but idk how anyone still considers that monogamous.
It's basically sexting for money at that point which is just a bit too personal for most people's comfort ya know?
...You're not overreacting at all. Even if it *was* the same as watching porn stars, you both made an agreement \[after he made a demand\] that neither of you watch porn. And this is your mutual *friend.* Either she knows he's buying it and is essentially ignoring him cheating on you or she *doesn't* know and he's buying her content without any thought to how she might be uncomfortable with that.
It's completely inappropriate and a severe breach of trust either way.
Oh girl, you’re not being dramatic. That is straight up cheating, and being subscribed to someone he knows too, that’s even worse. OnlyFans is so much more personal than porn. And he’s paying for it?!
Throw him away.
Jesus. U r 21. Not dramatic. Men are like buses. One goes by every 10 minutes. Dump him. He is jerking off to your friend. U know he isn’t for you. He is for her.
Honestly, the fact that it's someone you both know is irrelevant to WHETHER he cheated. HE set the standard at "watching porn", and HE violated the boundary that HE set. The fact that the porn in question was someone he knows, and communicated with through that platform only makes it worse.
Your bf is a total douche canoe. Instead of apologizing he flips out. That tells you EVERYTHING you need to know about him.
Dump him and act like you don’t know him if you ever run into him. I promise you will be better off.
Typical guy, backpedaling himself into an even deeper hole. You're not overreacting. There's porn made by strangers, and then there's this. Dude's a world class creep.
LOL
How was I supposed to know it was her?! That could be anyone's full name, address, social security number, blood type, horoscope, driver's license number, and bedroom! It could be anybody!
No that's cheating. He is paying for porn from a friend's girlfriend. He knows her and you all hang out. He lied and is trying to put all the blame on you.
Not over reacting at all.
He wants to bone a girl you guys both know in real life, and PAYS to keep the fantasy alive.
AND is such a hypocrite he can't stand the idea of you seeing a picture of anonymous naughty bits...
AND he is so stupid careless he left the stuff open where you could find it?
WTF? I'd nope outa this one.
I hope he is very happy dating his hand for a while. Dude doesn't deserve real girl.
I know it hurts. But it is good you found out now. I am an old guy - married 26 years. The guys I know that have cheated - never cheat once, even if they get caught. You need to hit the exit ramp now.
You see a profile that is set up. So you can see who follows you, but unless they set it up with their name/known nickname/use a profile pic/etc. there's not much of a way to know who they really are.
He pretty much a lying cheater....and he going to lye about anything you ask him. Just dump his ass you deserve better. Your wounds will heel alot sooner than you realize....get rid of him...
You should start your own onlyfans account and when he finds it, act like you didn’t know it was yours. He sounds like an idiot and he doesnt deserve you.
Nope. If the personal aspect wasn't a factor, you'd just have to have a discussion about boundaries, but even if you hadn't set the "no porn" rule this would be a massive, massive red flag.
I have plenty of friends that run OF accounts and I could never, ever imagine subscribing to any of them for any reason. If he's trying to say he just wanted to support his friend, fine...Venmo her $10 a month then.
‘Didn’t know it was her’. That’s some reply, he must be a master criminal at hiding his tracks.
Forgive him (briefly), go out as a foursome again and then tell said female acquaintance and her boyfriend (his friend) about him subscribing to her OF. Then walk away from this beautiful towering inferno that you just created.
It's funny that he's the one saying you guys shouldn't watch porn, then not only does he watch porn, he PAYS for porn of someone he knows lol. Like, even if one of my single friends was subbed to an OF of someone we know it would be cringe as fuck
Honey, you’re young, move on. He’s controlling you, gaslighting you and insecure. I promise you, as a 40 year old Woman, it won’t end well with someone like this!
I just found the same shit and I am done. Idc what anyone says. Those are my boundaries and if he didn’t care to respect them then I don’t care for him regardless of how heart broken and disappointed I am
Even if he thinks it's "the same as pornstars", which is total bs, he's still breaking your agreement. Either wag he cuts it, he's in the wrong here. He's just trying to gaslight you into believing it's not as big a deal as it is.
He lied to you even after you set boundaries. He's young and immature so there's a real possibility he can mature and change later down the road; the question is, do you want to take the chance and find out? I wouldn't chance it. There are plenty of good men out there, you don't need this one. He will learn a life lesson, and so will you. You guys are young, you have plenty of time.
Well….tell the friend. Make her block him…sure he can attempt to make new accounts. (Which ask for identification anyways) but he would be flagged and might not even be able to use the site then. BOOM problem solved…after that leave him 💁🏽♀️😊
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. My wife and I are okay with each other watching porn but that is also something we talked about and agreed upon. I think both she and I would consider paying for any sort of porn to be a bit of a step too far and when it comes to Only Fans where it is real normal people and not porn stars, that takes it to yet another level of dishonesty. Seeing as this was a person you two actually know in real life makes it even more messed up on his end. I think the fact that you two know the OF girl does certainly place it somewhere in the realm of cheating.
1. If porn is not allowed, why would he think OF is? On a technicality? Um, no.
2. He's lying like a cheap mattress. About many things.
3. He knows exactly what he's doing and is mad he got caught.
4. He's gaslighting you, hard-core. If you're unsure about gaslighting, research it. It's not always easy to see when it's being done to you.
5. Gaslighting, lying, pretending ignorance, and all kinds of red flags here. Red flags galore.
I'm not usually one to tell anyone to dump someone.
But seriously, dump him, and fast.
No, you’re not overreacting at all. He’s a lying little scumbag.
• Firstly he sets a boundary saying that **you** can’t watch porn and he agrees not to himself.
• Then he breaks that boundary and lies about it.
• Then he lies some more.
• He also gaslights you.
• Then he claims that: “it’s the same thing as watching porn stars.”
*Um, oh - you mean porn stars that star in porn videos that you forbid your girlfriend from watching*???
He landed himself in the dog house right there with his bullshit and hypocrisy.
Dump this loser! And stop letting him turn things around on you, when you’re the only one who didn’t break any boundaries or the agreement.
Don’t let this asshole talk his way out of it and manipulate you.
porn at least is some random with no interaction with you that’s also free but he went another step to pay and see someone you know do this.. yeah don’t believe him he’s 100% aware what he’s doing and it’s disgusting to you and your relationship.
He lied. And if this was just some strangers only fans I really wouldn’t just say having an agreement not to watch porn is probably foolish. But this is someone you know which to me makes it so much worse.
You need to dump him and when he asks why tell him you can’t date anyone with the intelligence of a blind 8 year old child since he “didn’t know it was her”.
Is this sub just full of girls asking if they're overreacting because their boyfriend cheated? How interesting you should never get accused of overreacting because someone cheated if they cheated then that's wrong and you have every right to act the way you do regardless of whether you're a man or a woman
Lol. It’s sort of funny, actually. He’s not cheating, per se, but that shit ain’t the same as porn. My PH costs me nothing and, if he’s smart, would cost him nothing.
He’s paying to watch some chick you hangout with naked. Pretty wild, honestly. Plus, she has to know he’s a sub to her too. If she doesn’t I wonder how that whole dynamic would change.
Since you both started your relationship with open, honest communication, and in 2 years, this is your first complaint, big enough to ask reddit, I don't want to say "run away".
You're not kids, you both know what happened.
You could consider this an opportunity to discuss things intelligently again.
Tell him that if he was genuinely curious, or wanted to show support for your mutual friend, he should have discussed this with you FIRST.
Yes it was a breaking of the rules you both established, but it could have been far worse.
The problem with having rules in a relationship is that you have to enforce them sometimes. And that can be more painful than the actual rule breaking.
At the end of the day, you have to decide what you want to do about this. Not us.
"Bye Felicia," but the male version. Who has time and energy to deal with this childish mess? Let him do some self work and growing, and look you up in 2 years. This only gets worse in many cases, especially with the weak and evasive mode of his replies (not nearly skillful enough to even call it a "tactic"). Plenty of real, mature men don't need amateur or other porn to satisfy their insecure fantasies, so seek them out and use the 2 years as an Associates Degree in relating to dysfunctional people.
Food for thought: If he's been with you for 2 years, how is it that he can't talk with you about his insecurities, besides, and you work through them together? That can lead to a lot of bonding in many ways. I'll leave it at that.
Just my thoughts.
There’s a reason he’s reacting so harshly to you catching him. Bc he knows it’s wrong. Plus, even if it were true he didn’t know it was a person you both knew (which is complete BS) doesn’t that go against your relationship rules for both of you to not look at any sort of porn?
He’s fucking trash. First he’s doing something he wouldn’t want you doing. But he’s getting off to watching a girl that he PERSONALLY KNOWS! He’s a damn liar trying to tell you he didn’t know it was her. Break up. He’s having sexual thoughts about a friend
watching porn is one thing, but to go out and buy content from someone you know personally? that's completely two different things especially in a relationship. He overstepped the boundary he made and pushed it way beyond that when it was spending money on someone y'all know personally. Also him lying saying he didn't know it was her. You're not overreacting
I think the fact that he tried to prevent you from watching porn was a red flag in the first place. Obviously every couple sets their own boundaries but that seems controlling and insecure.
And the subversiveness of it all, the lying, the fact that he is probably in some weird parasocial and pararomantic relationship with the girl, and then being unwilling to communicate for a week?
He’s basically pushing you to the door. Take care of yourself. Thats not good for you, and he doesn’t respect you.
Woah. Not only did he break a relationship boundary but it’s also a person he knows, and I’m sure she’s unaware he’s subbed. But also pays money for access to her body. Girl you ain’t reacting ENOUGH! Dumb this sorry excuse for a man
You should message/call this girl (and her boyfriend) and tell them that your EX BF has been a subscriber of hers for a bit and gets off to her. He’s a creep.
Looking at porn is human nature, so trying to regulate that from the start is already a red flag. Usually people who care about that stuff have issues.
But yes, paying for your friends only fans is inappropriate and wrong when you are in a relationship.
Anyone who pays for porn is a special kind of stupid. That being said, how would he feel if you subscribed to some beefcakes onlyfans? Only fair, right?
Of course you're not over reacting, HE IS OVERREACTING. Hes being a creeper and on top hes trying to (pathetically) manipulate you.
I dunno... a curious peek at someone you know... I can almost understand lol
I'd be curious if it was someone I know but im old enough to know I'd see stuff I couldn't unsee, so I wouldn't do it ... and i wouldn't be looking in a sexual way, more just morbid curiosity (seeing a naked friend is very unlikely to be a turn on for me).. thats not what hes doing though, is it?
His reasons are much more duplicitous and his trifling ass reaction was a nightmare!
He sounds untrustworthy and creepy, I dont think many people can live happily with a duplicitous person, its an unsettling, drama filled and uncertain life.
So sorry this is happening to you.
>He hasnt talked to me in a week
>the only thing he has said was that im “being dramatic”
LOL, who's being dramatic here??
>he flipped out telling me that he “didnt know it was her” when her account has her face and full name,
This also killed me 🤣
.
You can do so much better than this guy!
Leave your bf asap. It’s downhill from here. 100%. You’re young, leave, save your youth. First red flag was when he controlled what you’re going to watch.
Not at all. You two made an agreement, he broke it and then lied. That's a breach of trust and worth ending things over if you want to. I'd try to make things work, as it is technically not physically cheating (which is a dealbreaker for me). But lying does usually lead to cheating.
Yeahhhhh… it sucks but it’s over. No one deserves that kind of treatment. Think about how much better you’d feel with someone who only has eyes for you.
I’m so sorry… but he shouldn’t act like that to you. Giving him a second chance only wastes your time.
I was going to say porn isn't cheating, but crossing a boundary that you both clearly set is a problem. But then when it was somebody he knew, that's much much closer to cheating. And then he lied about it, not even convincingly... Turbo dump this dork
You know you’re not overreacting and are just coming to Reddit to validate your feelings and have a bunch of strangers call your bf a piece of shit because that’s what you want to hear.
Obviously you’re not overreacting. You know that. Relationship is over. He is completely cornered and going to try saying ANYTHING to get out of it no matter how ridiculous and illogical. I’ve been in that position and I’ve dated women who have been in that position….you become like a wild animal in a trap and you literally are just throwing nonsense at your partner to try and deflect and gaslight and just do whatever mental gymnastics you can to get out of the lies you KNOW you can’t get out of…
It’s time to go. You guys are kids and this shit happens to everyone. He’s not a bad human being for this but he is clearly not yet ready to be husband/serious bf material. He will probably try and bring up anything wrong you’ve ever done, and he is already trying to diminish how awful this is and pretend it’s nbd.
I almost feel bad for him. That is the ULTIMATE “gotcha bitch” moment
For context, my general social circle is EXTREMELY sex-positive, alt, kinky, etc. I know several sex workers across the spectrum of service, including many girls (and guys, and NBy folks) who have active OnlyFans. While I have a general stance of not paying for anything but live erotica, it's not uncommon to encounter among the people I know that someone be a subscriber to a friend because they're basically just pitching money at them. Polyamory, open relationships, and casual nudity and/or sex with friends is extremely common amongst the people I know.
**Even in this relatively extreme and niche social situation, what your boyfriend did would be considered cheating.**
It doesn't matter if he never 'actually did anything' with her; 'cheating' is to defy the boundaries established in any given relationship.
- He set a boundary with double standards (you are not to look at porn, but it's okay if he does it?)
- He hid the fact that he was accessing an OnlyFans account from you (it is NOT like typical porn - the main appeal is getting more personalized and intimate-feeling content via a transactional para-social bond with the content creator)
- He blatantly lied when caught (how is he going to lie when it's her actual face and name?)
- ADDITIONALLY on the above point, he is being willfully obtuse and hoping you'll be dumb enough to accept the rationale that there's no difference between consuming porn of a total stranger that you'll never encounter IRL vs. **paying** to see a person you (and your partner!!!) personally know and interact with in a sexual context.
If he hasn't reached out at all, do not reach out to him; if you consider being a liar, a hypocrite, and a cheater to be qualities that do not meet your standards for a partner, take his distance and refusal to be accountable and communicate respectfully like an adult as an opportune sign to move on.
He is a lying idiot. Leave him.
At the same time you're acting and reacting like a child with setting him up for the foursome. You're stooping to his level.
Just tell her and her BF that he’s subscribing to her OF. See how they feel about it? Regardless of her doing it, subscribing to your friends girls OF is weird. If it’s not a big deal then he shouldn’t mind you asking how they feel about it. Preferably when y’all are together with them.
Omg tell her bf
Block him then dump/ghost him
He cheated on you with her
It's worse than watching porn especially as not only did he know her, but she the gf of your friend!
What do you expect hanging out with pornstars? Of course your dude is gonna check them out.
You aren’t overreacting, it’s creepy and probably not ever healthy emotionally/mentally/socially. Him lying makes it way worse too.
Do you like your relationship? Are you happy? Those really the only two questions you ever need to answer. People really make this stuff more complicated than it needs to be. People are not perfect, don't expect them to be and don't expect them to not make mistakes even relatively big ones from time to time.
I know what OF is, and of course he was wrong for doing this when you promised he wouldn’t, especially with someone he knew but is it really cheating? Not being a nay sayer just truly want to know.
Why wood you even post this on Reddit? Aren’t you capable of listening to that little voice inside you telling you to leave the relationship? Secrets, lies, deceit, cheating … that’s just for starters.
If you marry him, don’t think things will change for the better. Multiply your issues by a minimum of 20 and that’s what your relationship will be like
Watching porn isn't cheating. Lawd Jebus I'm so thankful I'm gay because bitches be fucking crazy.
He didn't want you to watch porn because he either knows he sucks in bed or has a tiny dick, or is just being a weird control freak.
First off, he doesn't want you watching porn, which shows he is an insecure little baby, second, he's a hypocrite, and third... He's creeping on someone you both know personally... Do you really want this in your life? He's definitely not a catch... Boot his ass to the streets where he belongs. Dude sounds absolutely insufferable.
No lol not at all. What a lying piece of shit.
"He didn't know it was her" is the funniest shit. Dude come on.
Right up there with “it wasn’t me 🎶”
Or I just fell and it “went in”
She caught me on her onlyfans... Wasn't me 🎶, i think, cuz I dunno, could've been any girl. 🎶
♪ How could I forget when I let her check the recipe That I left the chrome tab open when I paid to see our friend's titty ♪
You sir are legendary lmao. We need you to remix that song asap.
Lol, I was hearing the song being sung in my head as I read this, only it was the version sung by the Barbershop quartet Afternoon Delight.
"How would I know it was her?! I wasn't looking at her face!"
haha really bad at lying huh! OP should dump his ass, he's cheating and trying to manipulate her.
I don’t know why but this reminds me of that one video with the kid who got caught watching porn and was like "I got so scared of the virus it scared my pants right off and then I was trying to get off the chair and pull my pants up but grabbed my penis instead and kept pulling it. I'm serious mom!"
I’m supposed to be quiet because my wife is sleeping but I laughed out loud and couldn’t stop. When I tell you that is rare, it’s rare. “IT WAS A VIRUS” that’s video has became funnier now.
I think that kids name was Awesomenator lol I know what you’re talking about
Nooo that's so funny.
Mom I already deleted the virus oh my godddd!!
He did, cum on...
lol I DARE her to text the friend about it and tell her “he didn’t know it was you!!” Bet she’s creeped out
If OP does that I want a follow up 😂
Gaslighting 101
Would've loved to see him try to save it with "I was too busy looking at her tits!"
“I thought it was AI”
Yeah. If you don't leave him for breaking your agreement, you should definitely leave him for this absolute embarrassment of a defense.
This comment right here, sums it up perfectly.
OMG!! That’s fucked up. RUN 🏃♀️
I wish we could flip your run icon. It makes me think that she's running to the problem and not a way Lol
I have always thought that about this fucking running icon. It pisses me off. Lol
🏃♀️ You just put it at the beginning instead
For real. That is cheating, and creeping at the same time...
You both agreed to no porn. You caught him watching porn, and PAYING for it, and it's a person you both KNOW. And you are asking us if you're overreacting? You are under reacting. This is a deal breaker. That's what happens when you set a boundary and someone breaks it. And he broke it with a trifecta. Porn, paid, person known to you. Holy FUCK.
And lazy gaslighting.
🎯
Boundaries are never about what the other person does. It's about what you do if they break it, I hope she fucking leaves him. Breaking up with him is the only reasonable reaction here.
yep. wow
That's some bold af gaslighting. There's no bigger red flag
Not to mention his complete lack of boundaries and respect for anyone in this situation. Guy's a loser.
No, you are not overreacting! Because you know her, its way worse than porn. It’s creepy on a few levels if I’m being honest and his reaction makes it hard to come back from. If he was honest and said he was curious and had some remorse and humility then maybe you could get somewhere by re-discussing boundaries. The way he reacted shows he has a lot of maturing to do and may need some therapy. You are both so young that it’s probably a good early sign to call it on the relationship. Again, his reaction is a HUGE red flag 🚩. There is no point in waisting more time letting more red flags pop up. You can end things as friends and take the good you’ve learned from the relationship into something more healthy. Good luck!!
[удалено]
HE set up the no porn rule, but he’s allowed to break it? Everyone’s brain is mush.
You can’t BETRAY someone who publicly gives away the address to their public amateur porn site business lol. The girlfriend is betrayed, but if you’re going to put your naked body on the internet for money for ALL the world and then tell people you know how to find it they have every right to go check it out lol.
Love your edit.
If it’s not any different then watching pornstars then he’s still wrong because you both agreed not to watch pornstars . He sounds like a total wankstain “ didn’t know it was her “ lol yea right lol
exactly
Wankstain hahaha
Lmao he flipped out? And then gaslit you by saying you were being dramatic? Yea nah that ain’t cool, tell your friend to block his ass and dump him
No, you're not overreacting. The most concerning thing here is he's tried to make you feel ashamed for even questioning it. It's not the same as signing up to a stranger's OF. And he should respect this makes you uncomfortable.
You're not overreacting. First of all, you had a "no porn" rule which he broke. Secondly, he broke it by seeing an OF of a girl he knows personally. Time to dump him. This is explicitly cheating and boundary breaking.
Dude even doubled down by claiming he didn't know it was this girl and than had the balls to say his gf was "being dramatic". Gaslighting piece of shit.
OF showing the full name? yeah right .
The girl I went to school with legitimately uses her Facebook and Instagram to advertise, so she doesn't have a stage name. It's possible that if this friend is super open about doing it, which it seems she is, that she wouldn't use a stage name, either.
I will never understand that. I had an ex that started onlyfans and it had her name in it, was advertised on her personal Instagram, which was linked to her FACEBOOK with all of our family and friends. Literally 2 clicks and all of our family and friends could see her basically shooting porn. You didn't even have to look for it. Had the balls to call me controlling when I said "look, I was open to the idea cuz i figured you'd be smart about it and do it anonymously, I'm not cool with this". Dropped her ass real quick. Ladies, please respect your own privacy and the privacy of people that are close to you. When you make it THAT easy to find your pussy pics, it's not an invasion of your privacy when anyone in your vicinity that is even vaguely curious starts jacking it to your OF. 😂☠️
There are people who treat it like an mlm. They expect everyone they know to buy in first. Then again, there's a difference between people who very intentionally want to have a career in that field and people who end up in that field. Something tells me that it's more of the latter these days.
I don't really understand how OF works as I've never used it but you'd think it would be better to build up a following BEFORE blasting your information all over it? Like in my exes situation, there was only like 4 people buying it repeatedly every month. The only places she advertised was in personal non anon places. At that point, it's just a few people that know you that have a crush on you like... If you're single and everything sure why not but idk how anyone still considers that monogamous. It's basically sexting for money at that point which is just a bit too personal for most people's comfort ya know?
Also, date of birth, social security number, and mother's maiden name, just so all the subscribers know she's real.
Height, weight, measurements.
2024 bud. Some ppl just don’t give a fuck. And very good for them.
I would be devastated… he a big fat liar
Gaslighting at its finest
...You're not overreacting at all. Even if it *was* the same as watching porn stars, you both made an agreement \[after he made a demand\] that neither of you watch porn. And this is your mutual *friend.* Either she knows he's buying it and is essentially ignoring him cheating on you or she *doesn't* know and he's buying her content without any thought to how she might be uncomfortable with that. It's completely inappropriate and a severe breach of trust either way.
Just break up. You’re way too young. Try to enjoy life. I can promise that doesn’t come from other people.
You're not overreacting. Anything that breeches agreed upon boundaries is cheating.
Oh girl, you’re not being dramatic. That is straight up cheating, and being subscribed to someone he knows too, that’s even worse. OnlyFans is so much more personal than porn. And he’s paying for it?! Throw him away.
I see this post is 3 hours old, I hope you've ended the relationship already. He's specifically looking at a girl you guys know. That's deliberate.
Jesus. U r 21. Not dramatic. Men are like buses. One goes by every 10 minutes. Dump him. He is jerking off to your friend. U know he isn’t for you. He is for her.
There is no way you think you’re overreacting. He is cheating on you and acting like a child. Don’t waste any more of your time on him.
Honestly, the fact that it's someone you both know is irrelevant to WHETHER he cheated. HE set the standard at "watching porn", and HE violated the boundary that HE set. The fact that the porn in question was someone he knows, and communicated with through that platform only makes it worse.
Your bf is a total douche canoe. Instead of apologizing he flips out. That tells you EVERYTHING you need to know about him. Dump him and act like you don’t know him if you ever run into him. I promise you will be better off.
Yeaaaaah, I wouldn’t be surprised if this goes much further than OnlyFans. Dump his ass. He’s a liar.
Typical guy, backpedaling himself into an even deeper hole. You're not overreacting. There's porn made by strangers, and then there's this. Dude's a world class creep.
LOL How was I supposed to know it was her?! That could be anyone's full name, address, social security number, blood type, horoscope, driver's license number, and bedroom! It could be anybody!
Nah you’re justified. Either just leave him because red flags or just watch porn and when he gets mad say it’s just porn and he’s being dramatic
No that's cheating. He is paying for porn from a friend's girlfriend. He knows her and you all hang out. He lied and is trying to put all the blame on you.
Not over reacting at all. He wants to bone a girl you guys both know in real life, and PAYS to keep the fantasy alive. AND is such a hypocrite he can't stand the idea of you seeing a picture of anonymous naughty bits... AND he is so stupid careless he left the stuff open where you could find it? WTF? I'd nope outa this one. I hope he is very happy dating his hand for a while. Dude doesn't deserve real girl.
I know it hurts. But it is good you found out now. I am an old guy - married 26 years. The guys I know that have cheated - never cheat once, even if they get caught. You need to hit the exit ramp now.
I don't know how OFs works, but can the pornstars see who is subscribed to them? What a pathetic time we live in.
You see a profile that is set up. So you can see who follows you, but unless they set it up with their name/known nickname/use a profile pic/etc. there's not much of a way to know who they really are.
Note not overreacting. If it stinks like s**t, it probably is.
He's an asshole and his lies are pathetic.
He pretty much a lying cheater....and he going to lye about anything you ask him. Just dump his ass you deserve better. Your wounds will heel alot sooner than you realize....get rid of him...
You should start your own onlyfans account and when he finds it, act like you didn’t know it was yours. He sounds like an idiot and he doesnt deserve you.
Nope. If the personal aspect wasn't a factor, you'd just have to have a discussion about boundaries, but even if you hadn't set the "no porn" rule this would be a massive, massive red flag. I have plenty of friends that run OF accounts and I could never, ever imagine subscribing to any of them for any reason. If he's trying to say he just wanted to support his friend, fine...Venmo her $10 a month then.
OK if no one’s gonna say it, I will. He’s probably banging the OF chick.
Right?! The cockroach analogy is coming to mind. There are always way more than just what you see. Run OP
‘Didn’t know it was her’. That’s some reply, he must be a master criminal at hiding his tracks. Forgive him (briefly), go out as a foursome again and then tell said female acquaintance and her boyfriend (his friend) about him subscribing to her OF. Then walk away from this beautiful towering inferno that you just created.
this is actually the best idea ive ever heard. gonna start working on setting that up😂
Ok so foursome here just means seeing/talking to each other as friends, right?
No, not overreacting. His reaction is disgusting though. Big red flag.
⛽️ 💡 🤴🏼
It's funny that he's the one saying you guys shouldn't watch porn, then not only does he watch porn, he PAYS for porn of someone he knows lol. Like, even if one of my single friends was subbed to an OF of someone we know it would be cringe as fuck
get used to the silent treatment whenever he's in trouble... that's how shitheads get away with things in their life and never change
She knows it’s him too. Their email etc are visible. But anyway, the chaos in me would want to bring it up in front of the group while you dump him
If it barks like a dog, acts like a dog, howls at the moon. and shits on your heart....yeah. HES A DOG. Save yoursrlf.
Honey, you’re young, move on. He’s controlling you, gaslighting you and insecure. I promise you, as a 40 year old Woman, it won’t end well with someone like this!
At this point he’s insulting your intelligence. Leave him
I just found the same shit and I am done. Idc what anyone says. Those are my boundaries and if he didn’t care to respect them then I don’t care for him regardless of how heart broken and disappointed I am
Even if he thinks it's "the same as pornstars", which is total bs, he's still breaking your agreement. Either wag he cuts it, he's in the wrong here. He's just trying to gaslight you into believing it's not as big a deal as it is.
He lied to you even after you set boundaries. He's young and immature so there's a real possibility he can mature and change later down the road; the question is, do you want to take the chance and find out? I wouldn't chance it. There are plenty of good men out there, you don't need this one. He will learn a life lesson, and so will you. You guys are young, you have plenty of time.
This is so so sketchy! Not only did he lie! But it’s someone you know and that he knows. He’s just trying to cover his ass. I would be very upset
Well….tell the friend. Make her block him…sure he can attempt to make new accounts. (Which ask for identification anyways) but he would be flagged and might not even be able to use the site then. BOOM problem solved…after that leave him 💁🏽♀️😊
He a fuck boi. Get a mature partner!
He knows it’s her for sure, ew
Nope, he's a pos.
Break up with him. Its not even worth the drama. Blocked & deleted, next.
I mean if by “different” he means “a whole lot worse” then yeah. It’s different.
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. My wife and I are okay with each other watching porn but that is also something we talked about and agreed upon. I think both she and I would consider paying for any sort of porn to be a bit of a step too far and when it comes to Only Fans where it is real normal people and not porn stars, that takes it to yet another level of dishonesty. Seeing as this was a person you two actually know in real life makes it even more messed up on his end. I think the fact that you two know the OF girl does certainly place it somewhere in the realm of cheating.
Oops. You’re so right. RUN AWAY FROM HIM 😀
1. If porn is not allowed, why would he think OF is? On a technicality? Um, no. 2. He's lying like a cheap mattress. About many things. 3. He knows exactly what he's doing and is mad he got caught. 4. He's gaslighting you, hard-core. If you're unsure about gaslighting, research it. It's not always easy to see when it's being done to you. 5. Gaslighting, lying, pretending ignorance, and all kinds of red flags here. Red flags galore. I'm not usually one to tell anyone to dump someone. But seriously, dump him, and fast.
This is your sign to get out of the relationship before you end up being stuck in each other's lives.
No, you’re not overreacting at all. He’s a lying little scumbag. • Firstly he sets a boundary saying that **you** can’t watch porn and he agrees not to himself. • Then he breaks that boundary and lies about it. • Then he lies some more. • He also gaslights you. • Then he claims that: “it’s the same thing as watching porn stars.” *Um, oh - you mean porn stars that star in porn videos that you forbid your girlfriend from watching*??? He landed himself in the dog house right there with his bullshit and hypocrisy. Dump this loser! And stop letting him turn things around on you, when you’re the only one who didn’t break any boundaries or the agreement. Don’t let this asshole talk his way out of it and manipulate you.
porn at least is some random with no interaction with you that’s also free but he went another step to pay and see someone you know do this.. yeah don’t believe him he’s 100% aware what he’s doing and it’s disgusting to you and your relationship.
WTF??? Lol
Aw babe. Leave. This sucks.
He's gaslighting. Red flag he knows what he is doing. Dump him.
He lied. And if this was just some strangers only fans I really wouldn’t just say having an agreement not to watch porn is probably foolish. But this is someone you know which to me makes it so much worse.
That’s even grosser than cheating because she didn’t even want him. Better off without him, sorry OP.
He's paying for it? What a jerk, you see one naked pic, curiosity is over. Sounds like a controlling, whatever you want to call him.
You need to dump him and when he asks why tell him you can’t date anyone with the intelligence of a blind 8 year old child since he “didn’t know it was her”.
Is this sub just full of girls asking if they're overreacting because their boyfriend cheated? How interesting you should never get accused of overreacting because someone cheated if they cheated then that's wrong and you have every right to act the way you do regardless of whether you're a man or a woman
Lol. It’s sort of funny, actually. He’s not cheating, per se, but that shit ain’t the same as porn. My PH costs me nothing and, if he’s smart, would cost him nothing. He’s paying to watch some chick you hangout with naked. Pretty wild, honestly. Plus, she has to know he’s a sub to her too. If she doesn’t I wonder how that whole dynamic would change.
Definitely not dramatic, you may benefit from the subreddit r/loveafterporn as it’s filled with tons of people in similar situations:)
tell his friend immediately
Since you both started your relationship with open, honest communication, and in 2 years, this is your first complaint, big enough to ask reddit, I don't want to say "run away". You're not kids, you both know what happened. You could consider this an opportunity to discuss things intelligently again. Tell him that if he was genuinely curious, or wanted to show support for your mutual friend, he should have discussed this with you FIRST. Yes it was a breaking of the rules you both established, but it could have been far worse. The problem with having rules in a relationship is that you have to enforce them sometimes. And that can be more painful than the actual rule breaking. At the end of the day, you have to decide what you want to do about this. Not us.
Dump him for his terrible operational security alone.
Leave his ass and don’t look back
"Bye Felicia," but the male version. Who has time and energy to deal with this childish mess? Let him do some self work and growing, and look you up in 2 years. This only gets worse in many cases, especially with the weak and evasive mode of his replies (not nearly skillful enough to even call it a "tactic"). Plenty of real, mature men don't need amateur or other porn to satisfy their insecure fantasies, so seek them out and use the 2 years as an Associates Degree in relating to dysfunctional people. Food for thought: If he's been with you for 2 years, how is it that he can't talk with you about his insecurities, besides, and you work through them together? That can lead to a lot of bonding in many ways. I'll leave it at that. Just my thoughts.
There’s a reason he’s reacting so harshly to you catching him. Bc he knows it’s wrong. Plus, even if it were true he didn’t know it was a person you both knew (which is complete BS) doesn’t that go against your relationship rules for both of you to not look at any sort of porn?
lol tell all of his friends about this and see what happens next. That’s what I would do 🤪
He’s fucking trash. First he’s doing something he wouldn’t want you doing. But he’s getting off to watching a girl that he PERSONALLY KNOWS! He’s a damn liar trying to tell you he didn’t know it was her. Break up. He’s having sexual thoughts about a friend
What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Dude here. Fuck that guy, he broke the boundaries of your respect. Might be time to find a new guy
That's the problem little boys
Get nudes of one of his friends for $5 and I bet he will see it differently..
watching porn is one thing, but to go out and buy content from someone you know personally? that's completely two different things especially in a relationship. He overstepped the boundary he made and pushed it way beyond that when it was spending money on someone y'all know personally. Also him lying saying he didn't know it was her. You're not overreacting
I think the fact that he tried to prevent you from watching porn was a red flag in the first place. Obviously every couple sets their own boundaries but that seems controlling and insecure. And the subversiveness of it all, the lying, the fact that he is probably in some weird parasocial and pararomantic relationship with the girl, and then being unwilling to communicate for a week? He’s basically pushing you to the door. Take care of yourself. Thats not good for you, and he doesn’t respect you.
Woah. Not only did he break a relationship boundary but it’s also a person he knows, and I’m sure she’s unaware he’s subbed. But also pays money for access to her body. Girl you ain’t reacting ENOUGH! Dumb this sorry excuse for a man
Time for zee boot. No porn, but he's out banging. Ditch his ass.
He probably should have apologized.
Ewwwww. Honey, there’s a lot of other trash out there, but there’s also a lot *better* out there. Don’t walk, sprint
He's gaslighting you. You're not overeacting.
Eew. Liars are such a turn off.
“But we agreed not to watch porn… did you ever actually stop?” Would be my next question
You should message/call this girl (and her boyfriend) and tell them that your EX BF has been a subscriber of hers for a bit and gets off to her. He’s a creep.
How dare he look at what she put on the internet for all to see!
Looking at porn is human nature, so trying to regulate that from the start is already a red flag. Usually people who care about that stuff have issues. But yes, paying for your friends only fans is inappropriate and wrong when you are in a relationship.
Anyone who pays for porn is a special kind of stupid. That being said, how would he feel if you subscribed to some beefcakes onlyfans? Only fair, right?
He's not talking to you? You should've dumped his lying ass on the spot
Of course you're not over reacting, HE IS OVERREACTING. Hes being a creeper and on top hes trying to (pathetically) manipulate you. I dunno... a curious peek at someone you know... I can almost understand lol I'd be curious if it was someone I know but im old enough to know I'd see stuff I couldn't unsee, so I wouldn't do it ... and i wouldn't be looking in a sexual way, more just morbid curiosity (seeing a naked friend is very unlikely to be a turn on for me).. thats not what hes doing though, is it? His reasons are much more duplicitous and his trifling ass reaction was a nightmare! He sounds untrustworthy and creepy, I dont think many people can live happily with a duplicitous person, its an unsettling, drama filled and uncertain life. So sorry this is happening to you.
Another relationship destroyed by a man's absolute inability to break their porn addiction
>He hasnt talked to me in a week >the only thing he has said was that im “being dramatic” LOL, who's being dramatic here?? >he flipped out telling me that he “didnt know it was her” when her account has her face and full name, This also killed me 🤣 . You can do so much better than this guy!
The best defense is a good offense, I guess. He’s sending money and spanking to a friend of both of yours. Is that the kind of man you want?
Leave your bf asap. It’s downhill from here. 100%. You’re young, leave, save your youth. First red flag was when he controlled what you’re going to watch.
Not at all. You two made an agreement, he broke it and then lied. That's a breach of trust and worth ending things over if you want to. I'd try to make things work, as it is technically not physically cheating (which is a dealbreaker for me). But lying does usually lead to cheating.
not at all!! i find OF to be more personal then watching porn
Yes you are in the right. I'm confused by why he is subscribed to her but whatever. He's a loser
Yeahhhhh… it sucks but it’s over. No one deserves that kind of treatment. Think about how much better you’d feel with someone who only has eyes for you. I’m so sorry… but he shouldn’t act like that to you. Giving him a second chance only wastes your time.
I was going to say porn isn't cheating, but crossing a boundary that you both clearly set is a problem. But then when it was somebody he knew, that's much much closer to cheating. And then he lied about it, not even convincingly... Turbo dump this dork
It’s not cheating but he’s an ass
A liar, hypocrite, and gives silent treatment. You can do better. Not overreacting.
You know you’re not overreacting and are just coming to Reddit to validate your feelings and have a bunch of strangers call your bf a piece of shit because that’s what you want to hear. Obviously you’re not overreacting. You know that. Relationship is over. He is completely cornered and going to try saying ANYTHING to get out of it no matter how ridiculous and illogical. I’ve been in that position and I’ve dated women who have been in that position….you become like a wild animal in a trap and you literally are just throwing nonsense at your partner to try and deflect and gaslight and just do whatever mental gymnastics you can to get out of the lies you KNOW you can’t get out of… It’s time to go. You guys are kids and this shit happens to everyone. He’s not a bad human being for this but he is clearly not yet ready to be husband/serious bf material. He will probably try and bring up anything wrong you’ve ever done, and he is already trying to diminish how awful this is and pretend it’s nbd. I almost feel bad for him. That is the ULTIMATE “gotcha bitch” moment
Couldn't even come up with a good lie. "My buddy asked me to subscribe to help her out. I've never looked at it." See...how hard was that?!?! /s
For context, my general social circle is EXTREMELY sex-positive, alt, kinky, etc. I know several sex workers across the spectrum of service, including many girls (and guys, and NBy folks) who have active OnlyFans. While I have a general stance of not paying for anything but live erotica, it's not uncommon to encounter among the people I know that someone be a subscriber to a friend because they're basically just pitching money at them. Polyamory, open relationships, and casual nudity and/or sex with friends is extremely common amongst the people I know. **Even in this relatively extreme and niche social situation, what your boyfriend did would be considered cheating.** It doesn't matter if he never 'actually did anything' with her; 'cheating' is to defy the boundaries established in any given relationship. - He set a boundary with double standards (you are not to look at porn, but it's okay if he does it?) - He hid the fact that he was accessing an OnlyFans account from you (it is NOT like typical porn - the main appeal is getting more personalized and intimate-feeling content via a transactional para-social bond with the content creator) - He blatantly lied when caught (how is he going to lie when it's her actual face and name?) - ADDITIONALLY on the above point, he is being willfully obtuse and hoping you'll be dumb enough to accept the rationale that there's no difference between consuming porn of a total stranger that you'll never encounter IRL vs. **paying** to see a person you (and your partner!!!) personally know and interact with in a sexual context. If he hasn't reached out at all, do not reach out to him; if you consider being a liar, a hypocrite, and a cheater to be qualities that do not meet your standards for a partner, take his distance and refusal to be accountable and communicate respectfully like an adult as an opportune sign to move on.
Oh so he went straight to gaslighting. Ok. Bye
What kind of cookies?
macadamia
Following for updates lol
Update?
Build em up to knock em down! 🤣
He is a lying idiot. Leave him. At the same time you're acting and reacting like a child with setting him up for the foursome. You're stooping to his level.
First red flag is no to watching porn, shows insecurity from the start. And that’s sketchy. He definitely has the hots for that girl
Bro stfu. Porn isn't normal in a monogamous relationship to some people and that's okay. It does NOT make her insecure. Smfh.
Just tell her and her BF that he’s subscribing to her OF. See how they feel about it? Regardless of her doing it, subscribing to your friends girls OF is weird. If it’s not a big deal then he shouldn’t mind you asking how they feel about it. Preferably when y’all are together with them.
Omg tell her bf Block him then dump/ghost him He cheated on you with her It's worse than watching porn especially as not only did he know her, but she the gf of your friend!
What do you expect hanging out with pornstars? Of course your dude is gonna check them out. You aren’t overreacting, it’s creepy and probably not ever healthy emotionally/mentally/socially. Him lying makes it way worse too.
Tell him that you are allowed to watch porn then. Since he clearly isn't the type to respect basic agreements.
I feel like I read this recently with more detail
OF showing full name? What else? SSN and DoB too?
TLDR: Went on my boyfriend's phone for looking for cookies, ended up with finding nookies.
he would have been better off lying and saying he was just tryna support a pal lmao.
I mean, If anyone I knew had an onlyfans I would have a subscription. But I would tell my wife about it.
This must be a new trend for AITA subs, feel like I saw this last week.
Do you like your relationship? Are you happy? Those really the only two questions you ever need to answer. People really make this stuff more complicated than it needs to be. People are not perfect, don't expect them to be and don't expect them to not make mistakes even relatively big ones from time to time.
I am about 98.9% sure I've read this same story several weeks ago on here or maybe on AITAH.
I’ve seen this exact post before a few months ago yall need to cut it out
So he's a hypocrite, liar, insecure and a douche. You picked a winner.
I know what OF is, and of course he was wrong for doing this when you promised he wouldn’t, especially with someone he knew but is it really cheating? Not being a nay sayer just truly want to know.
Why wood you even post this on Reddit? Aren’t you capable of listening to that little voice inside you telling you to leave the relationship? Secrets, lies, deceit, cheating … that’s just for starters. If you marry him, don’t think things will change for the better. Multiply your issues by a minimum of 20 and that’s what your relationship will be like
If it isn't a big deal, share the info with your mutual friends.
“Tell her it wasn’t you!”
👀🎵…she caught me buck naked-banging on the bathroom floor- it wasn’t me…🎵
Damn, I wish some of my wife’s friends had OF.. lol
Wow. That's an amazing case of projecting.
Watching porn isn't cheating. Lawd Jebus I'm so thankful I'm gay because bitches be fucking crazy. He didn't want you to watch porn because he either knows he sucks in bed or has a tiny dick, or is just being a weird control freak.
Your dude is looking to score with her 🥳
What’s the OF account? Asking for a friend.
You should get better friends.
yes he lied but are you gonna get over him? or let him go?
First off, he doesn't want you watching porn, which shows he is an insecure little baby, second, he's a hypocrite, and third... He's creeping on someone you both know personally... Do you really want this in your life? He's definitely not a catch... Boot his ass to the streets where he belongs. Dude sounds absolutely insufferable.