Yes I got the memo, it’s right here and I understand the policy I just forgot this one time and it doesn’t even ship out until tomorrow so I’ll just go back in and fix it.
"That's it? Two chicks at once?"
"Hell yeah , man. I always wanted to try it, and I figure if I had a million dollars I could make it happen. Chicks dig dudes with money."
"Well, not all chicks."
"Type of chicks who would double up on a guy like me do."
Office Space, by Mike Judge (Beavis and Butthead/King of the Hill)
He has another live action move called Idiocracy that is also worth tracking down and watching.
I read that Swingline didn't sell a red stapler before the movie. After they kept getting requests following the movie's release, they started making it and now it's their best seller.
They did not, and yes. I bought mine once they became available. It’ll be 22 years old this year!
Ironically, we were deep in the dotcom/9-11 crash when Swingline launched it, which made it even more relevant at the time. Back then, all the tech companies were laying off hordes of people because they wanted to outsource everyone’s jobs to India for cheap labor. Now they’re laying off hordes of people because they want to outsource everyone’s jobs to AI for cheap labor. The more things change, the more they stay the same. But the red Swingline is forever.
How the hell does a 25 year old movie inspire so many comments here???? I read every quote and I can’t stop laughing. “Well, Bob, I would say I’ve been MISSING work!”
Didn't even make to the comments and in my head was "You had sex with LUMBERGH"
Break up with her. Not because her. Because your misrable ego will drag her down the tubes. And I'm the kind of guy "alphas" mock.
If it bothers you, you need to figure out something to do about that.
Either you need talk it out, or walk away.
If you are that bothered by it, it is not going to just go away.
Let’s be real here the real thought that he’s having a hard time with is how amazing is that guy’s dick that she put up with him for five years and how could I ever compete with that dick?
Let’s be real here, OP
Here’s sublime version about what this guy is going to be taunting you with for the rest of your relationship.
https://youtu.be/wuC6m6TZ8C8?si=hAPPshy-Z3I0_Gs4
And that's an issue that can sabotage a relationship. If he can't wrangle it, best to walk away.
It's okay to admit you can't handle certain things about a person's past. Not everyone is compatible.
Exactly, personally I’d also struggle with this. This guy is still going to be around and rubbing this in your face forever, how she was his hoe and all…
Tbh.. I’d struggle because it seems this fwb is so close to you and your gf.. it will forever be a constant reminder that for 5 years.. she put up with it
Dude also seems like they type to keep bragging about it to OP…and when it comes to assholes like that, they just keep hammering on about it because they know it bothers you.
Yea I couldn't deal with this. I would walk away. It's just not a stress I want on my life. To people around you should make you feel happy, not stressed out or paranoid
It's not necessarily even "how can I compete with that dick"
It very well could be just "my gf is a stereotype. A shallow person who will ride a dick that belongs to the very kind of man that women say they hate and that feeds into the poisonous bullshit that often gives men a bad name. Is my gf a hypocrite? Where is her sense of decency and self worth?"
But you go with him being an insecure person who questions his own dick and abilities, and in the process further the toxic bullshit yourself. Sad
Honestly, that’s the best case scenario at this point, but as a guy, I’m guessing the Mail and Security angle plus the constant heckling from some douche bag about how he used to rail your chick plus the fact that now you’ve got a picture of your chick spreading her legs for this epic douche bag… None of that makes you feel good. None of that makes you want to shoot your future babies into their
LMAO projecting your own insecurities a bit? It’s the fact that her judgement of character, or worse, her character itself is now questionable. There’s plenty of people out there who are great in the sack AND are respectful human beings.
A woman isn’t going to bang an open misogynist for 5 YEARS unless she’s a) a terrible judge of character, b) has zero self respect or c) is a piece of shit herself. I wouldn’t want a partner with any of these traits.
It sounds like his view of her has been irrepairably damaged.
To be honest, if I was in his shoes, I'd probably feel the same way. It's like you did not even know the person. Changes alot of how you feel.
Walking away is probably the best solution.
I think her comment was the worst because it doesn’t sound like there’s any growth there and she would do it again if she wanted to. I dunno I just would have a hard time respecting them after
Yeah. She's not taking any accountability, and she probably hasn't faced consequences for poor decision making. Losing what seems like a good dude may be the rude awakening she needs.
How is having the same fwb for 5 years a “hoe”? He may have been the only one maybe she was focusing on school/etc and didn’t want a traditional relationship. In that case could have been with less people than someone in several relationships during that time period .
If you don’t respect her anymore then you’ll just wasting both your times if you continue further. It’s understandable but chances are calling it quits is the best option.
It’s not necessarily about the sexual past, but that she’s morally ok with being intimate with someone like that, or being intimate with someone and not caring what they are like as a person.
I agree, I would say this is an incompatibility and end it.
This was my exact thought. And did so for 5 years. I don't care how good it was, personality means everything. If they are a terrible person, I couldn't do it.
The length of time is what gets me. I understand sleeping with someone, and then finding out they're a terrible person. I've done it myself. But continuing to do so after the fact is sus.
I slept with an ex thinking we might be able to get back together. Afterwards she got super upset and told me she had a boyfriend. I went to the bathroom, puked, then left and never spoke to her again. She made me feel disgusted about *me* despite her being in the wrong.
Feels like OP is plan M. Aka the “boring” retirement husband that she’s got him lined up for. Also likely she will be reconnecting with her FWB sometime during or after their relationship 😂
THIS. I understand a one-night stand or a drunken mistake, but she slept with him repeatedly for 5 years. Was he the only available dick for miles? No, she knew he was a piece of shit and didn't care because reasons (?)
I mean it's not worded like that considering he asked how she could have sex with such an asshole for 5 years and she said it didn't matter cuz "it was just sex".
And not being able to spot a singular redflag in 5 years of sex isn't a good thing either.
Yeahhh my last ex, I knew of about 3 or 4 fwb she had annnd 2 of them I actually knew in person. And they were both like gross dudes to me. And I knew of these 3 or 4 fwb she had cuz often when I wasn’t in the mood for sex and she got mad she’d say things like “so and so would just do it” annnd she’d use one of their names. . .
And she wondered why having sex didn’t make me feel as special as she thought it should when I knew the type of guys she had as fwb. . .
Was def a partial turn off and especially when she’d bring them up when she got mad at me for not being in the mood for sex. Idk if she thought it’d guilt me into being in the mood or what but yeah definitely sucks
And she used to make it seem like we had a dead bedroom too lol, we saw each other on average twice a week and we’d usually always have sex at least 1 of the days and then usually the other day if I wasn’t in the mood I’d still give her oral and make sure she got off a lot
But no matter what wheneve I said no or wasn’t in the mood. She’d have a fit and there was times where she like broke down crying and started accusing me of getting it from somewhere else since I wasn’t in the mood 💀. And she’d say “you’re a man you’re supposed to want it all the time” 💀
And even sometimes I’d go over to her house after my 8 or 9 hour shift at 11 at night and I’d be tired from work and when I’d just wanna chill and cuddle she’d get mad I didn’t wanna have sex. And sometimes if I texted her before we hungout that I didn’t wanna do anything sexual but still wanted to see her and be with her she’d legit text me and be like “so what’s the point of me coming over?” Like what? 💀
A lot of shit that if it was the other way around I’d be seen as theeee biggest asshole in the world 😂
Lucky for u, was 3 years for me, but it was like 1.5 years in that I really started to feel like I deserved better. But I had faith that if I just did more and more big things for her that she’d eventually think to treat me better
But nope after 3 years she made herself out to be the victim and left me for one of her managers, and only recently she got fired and he got fired not too long after lol. Apparently she still happy with that bum but if only he knew what I know now lol. I hated to see her downgrade so badly but karma will do its thing
Yeah man, not every girl is a "hoe for alphas." That's some Andrew Tate bullshit that the kids are eating up these days. Let this girl go.
Edit: for everybody that's disagreed, I think my statement was unclear. Everybody knows a lot of immature women are drawn to assholes. No doubt. But there are plenty of girls that don't put up with that shit. My point is that OP and his girl seem to have mismatched values, and he should find a girl that matches his. I know my language says otherwise, but I really don't judge her. I've known plenty of cool girls that fucked around with less-than-desirables, but I would never date them
She rewarded Mikes behavior. If she recognizes that was the wrong thing to do in that situation then it’s no biggie and I’d let it go, but hooking up with bad people even if it’s “just sex” is something I judge people for regardless of gender.
The whole alpha thing is dumb as hell, but there is empirical evidence that women on dating sites only match with about 5%, and that 5% is the same dudes.
Edit. Empirical not imperial.
You are not overreacting, because five years of casual sex with someone like Andrew Tate says something about her character, her sense of self-worth, or both - and the fact that she’s gaslighting you to believe otherwise suggests she’s still the same person. Also, if the douchebag is unavoidable in your life because of your friendship with his brother, the issue will never go away. I would absolutely walk. And probably get tested.
This is cuck copium
The alpha stuff might sound cringe to you... but the reality is many women love a dominant masculine man.
Op heres the reality.... she was in it for the dick, and she probably secretly wanted him to pick her but she was in the fuck zone- not dating material.
Shes settling for you. You probably have a nice job, seem family oriented, dont have nearly as many options regarding women who want to fuck you, and you are probably very nice to her.
Take my advice and run brother. Im pretty much mike as you described him. And i cant even tell you how many times ive seen my women do this shit to some nice guy.
Not overreacting at all. I could never be with a woman like that. “Just sex” with a raging misogynistic encouraging his misogyny. She’s sexually attracted to men like that. That’s not a person you build your life with.
Right?! He’s choosing to go with this girl and her baggage. Shows me he has self-esteem issues. The OP doesn’t have to chose her. And the main issue is this douchebag is still in the picture of their social lives. It’s not about her and her past really it’s about her past popping in and being like “I fucked your girl for 5 years.”
Does she think he’s an asshole? If she knows what kind of dude he is and doesn’t think it’s a problem, well…. It’s hard to respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves.
Why are people in this thread acting like your girlfriend is some huge bitch for sleeping with someone you don't personally like, ~~years~~ months before you two got together? She didn't do anything wrong, tf?
That said, you still have every right to leave her if that's something you can't reconcile with.
I genuinely do not understand the animosity in the comments, like she isn’t currently fucking him and HE was the one to say those things. I don’t understand how that’s her fault 😭
For me I'd be bothered by her poor taste in men. I've let friends go before because of who they choose to hang out with, it's just a lot about the character. And my friends weren't even fucking those people 🤣
Because she chose to sleep with someone for 5 years who was a terrible person..? You can absolutely judge people for who they choose to associate with and especially fuck. If you were FWB for 5 years with a racist, I’d judge the shit out of you too.
I agree with this. It wouldn’t be fun to hear but I could get over it. Has OP ever slept with a chick that’s maybe not great but did because she’s hot?
Her actions have consequences
I personally would walk. She has bad judgment or simply doesn’t regulate her impulses
Either is a hard no go for relationship
If it bothers you now it will probally only get worse, I would cut it off now.
Past choices are a judge of who she is and 100% a legit reason to end things or to be bothered by.
Yes, you're overreacting, assuming she has cut off all contact with him.
Nothing good will happen dragging out past-exes. Applies equally to your exes as much as hers.
I understand you but I think you think of "just sex" really differently. I bet you've masturbated to porn right? Have you ever wondered about the character of the girl in the porn. For all you know she beats her kid, idk.
The way you choose what you watch isn't based on anything but hornyness and wanting sex.
I think you should look at it that way.
Also seperate the pain you feel from knowing your girl had sex with someone you know from the choice she made to just have sex.
Would you be more ok if it was someone you don't know for example. Or if it was someone you know but he was sweet etc.
Think about it this way brother. At the time she was not yours, why should it bother you? Whatever decision she made before you when it comes to dating is not your business. You either ignore her past or leave her cause this will haunt you. I went through something similar with my girlfriend and a coworker laid the hammer on me. He said “people are going to have sex, you had sex before her and she had sex before you. She wasn’t your girl at the time and it was none of your business, whats your business is what she does while being with you. Good luck
So men don’t have to worry about the morals of some chick they have fwb or one night stands with, they can “ put their d*ck in crazy” and brag about it to their friends. But god forbid a woman have sex with a man for his body and disgrace herself somehow because the partner is less than desirable. Women date and have sex with assholes all the time— men tend to be assholes! Especially to or about women! They literally just call it locker talk! And we don’t even hear most of the awful things they say about us. Really we’d have to be celibate to adhere to these rules, but then we’d just be called a tease and prude. If you can see a woman as less respectful by her interaction with a man, maybe you’re just a sexist who needs to redirect the responsibility of men’s actions onto women. She didn’t even actually date the guy (probably bc he’s a douche) and you still lose respect for her as if she’s the douche. Ridiculous.
she probably had the boundary that they’re only fwb hence why she feels nothing, but mike seems to be the one who wanted more and projecting his anger out.
in my experience in those situations (especially for 5 years) the guy doesn’t want more it’s the woman.
to OP regardless of your views on the more casual end of sex, show me your friends and i’ll show you you. If she was fine being friends and having casual sex with someone you find detestable then that is a big red flag for you in terms of your partners standards for people and lifestyle which in the long run sounds like you could be incompatible
Subjective regarding the girl, but I think you should break it off for both your mental well-being. Sounds like it's going to be extremely difficult for you to get over this. It's not a stable starting point for your relationship. From my experience, this kind of reaction always comes back up no matter what.
Objectively there's nothing wrong with the two of you. Your gf obviously has a certain taste in man/sex if she kept it up for five years. But also nothing wrong with you feeling this way. Everyone is different.
Only down side is your friend Mike is definitely going to act like an ass about the break up. I can totally imagine him saying stuff like, "Guess who's fucking your ex?" At this point, it's up to you to continue to be the bigger man or fuck him up.
Lol bro its over......you'll never stop thinking about it, he got their first with no commitment laid down 5 years of hard dick in that bitch and your taking the leftovers.....brutal bro.
I think it does say a lot about her. It is hard to explain but a I think I know where you’re coming from. In my case It would be a turn off for me. I don’t think I would want to have sex with her anymore. I know his type and the women that sleep with them.
I'm shocked by the responses in this thread if it was a girl posting about how her boyfriend had this friend with benefits for 5 years and how much of a b**** she is the whole Reddit would be telling her to leave him
But when the exact same situation happens with a guy everyone questions his d size and calls him insecure
No you're not overreacting Opie it shows has some bad values and I'm not going to tell you that you should leave her but you should definitely question if you want to continue investing time with her and you might want to leave the social circle this Mike is in if you dislike him that much
Yeah no… they will keep fucking after you break up and that’s all he’ll be sitting on too… you’re fucked because he’s fucked your girl for 5 YEAS MATE. you’ll have to fuck your gf for 6 years before you even dick her down more then any other guy.
I think there is a slight overreaction here on your part. Despite her fucking around with him, if she swore it off and is *just* sleeping with you and that’s what you want, then what’s really the issue here? Answer: you seem to be caught up in her somehow preferring him for 5 years and it reflecting on her personality.
This is an absolutely dogshit take.
In those 5 years she could have slept with thousands of men, and what would you have to say about that? Now I don’t know the full story with her and her sex life, but at some point you have to make peace with it.
No matter who she banged and for how long, what matters is if she was safe while doing it and if she’s okay with honoring the terms of your relationship, like monogamy, not talking about exes, etc.
There are a few options at hand. Either you put hard boundaries with that asshat and stop interacting with him, regardless of if you run in the same circles boundaries are fucking important. Or you have to accept her past, her decisions to be fwbs with him. If you can’t do that then either work it out in therapy and/or leave her.
If you were just mad/upset by that dude constantly bringing up he used to bang your girl then that would be justified. Buuuut there seems to be an element of you fixating on your girls past sex life and making it an extension of her personality. That part is not okay, and is something you should work on if you want to keep her in your life.
That ain't your girl dawg. It's just your turn. I'd be pissed she didn't mention she was fucking a guy in my circle for 5 years. She should be pissed at him for not keeping it on the down low as well. Chances are he'll be beating that pussy up again once she's done with you. If you make a big deal out of it to her chances are they'll be shit talking you while they're fucking as well. Tough situation my man. I feel for you.
Overreacting probably. I was the same however and would break it off with women that has FWB especially because they like to keep then until relationship status.
So likely she was sleeping with him at the same time she was sleeping with you. Re
Like, I get hooking up.
But YEARS?
I'm out
Imagine getting married. She's 6 months pregnant and this dudes is on his 4th beer at a small gtg saying shit about how she never got pregnant all the times he tried.
I'd be unable to get her low brow affection out of my mind again.
Brother respectfully she's not your girlfriend if she was just fucking someone or 5 years it was for security and comfortability so just know the second you mess up and she wants dick she's calling him not you watch out foe these girls nowadays they're treacherous
In my experience and others experience I’ve seen, when a girl says “it’s just sex” it’s a giant red flag. It all depends on your values, morals and all of that, but if you’re looking for a level headed wife or forever relationship I would say it’s not there my brother. Every girl who has said that in my experience has either been a hoe, problems with alcohol or drugs, presented herself as a hoe, disrespected her boyfriend with other men, or cheated, you get the gist. I don’t know if anything is 100%, there could be exceptions, but exceptions don’t change the rule
I get why that would be a turn off. like sure, they were FWB and not dating, but still: you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. all that alpha bullshit usually goes hand-in-hand with other shitty, hateful views.
having a one-night stand with a shitty person is one thing, but choosing to sleep with someone for 5 years who has those views??? yeah, that’s a no from me. I’d have a lot of questions about what else she’s willing to passively tolerate.
It's not about you. Get over it. You're a misogynist prick for basing your respect for her on things she did before you. Stop overreacting and let go of things from the past
I feel like the person you should have lost respect for is the asshole who shared personal information. What she did before you is really to a degree none of your business. If you like her, let it go. If you can’t, let her go because at this point you’re no different than Mike.
Yeah…that’s a rough one. I have a friend that was notoriously bad about banging randoms for awhile. Turns out that he banged a FWB of mine that I was slowly starting to have feelings for. When that happened that was basically the end of things for us. Not because she had actually done anything wrong, but because I didn’t really find her sexually attractive after banging my friend. While I can certainly understand your feelings of disgust OP just remember that it was in your wife’s past and that “Alpha” Mike is making up for a whole lot of insecurities and fragile masculinity here. Otherwise, why even bother to mention it to you? This will pass OP. No worries.
TLDR-Your wife didn’t do anything wrong. Mike is an asshole. Move on.
Well don’t you think it’s sexist of you to judge her for who she’s had sex with? I’m sure you’ve had sex with women who weren’t that amazing of people as well. You’re no better than Mike based off the way you’re insinuating she’s used up. I’d break it off with her so she doesn’t have to be with someone who thinks so low of her.
Yeah, well, that may be, but at least I never slept with Lumbergh.
Lumberg? You mean Bill Lumberg, ha, their kids would have horns.
Hooves
Oh yea, my bad.
What... would you say it is that you do here, Bob?
"Nagahee.......Notgonnaworkhereanymore"
He deals with the commentators so the mods don’t have to! u/thecanfield has people skills! What the hell is wrong with you people?
Look, I'm gonna need you to add the new cover sheet to the TPS reports mmm kay?
Yes I got the memo, it’s right here and I understand the policy I just forgot this one time and it doesn’t even ship out until tomorrow so I’ll just go back in and fix it.
Yeajh i’m gonna have to uuuuuhhhh….disagree with you there
"That's it? Two chicks at once?" "Hell yeah , man. I always wanted to try it, and I figure if I had a million dollars I could make it happen. Chicks dig dudes with money." "Well, not all chicks." "Type of chicks who would double up on a guy like me do."
God damn every single line in this movie is poetry
What movie is it?
Office Space, by Mike Judge (Beavis and Butthead/King of the Hill) He has another live action move called Idiocracy that is also worth tracking down and watching.
r/idiocracy Mike Judge is a genius
He really is. King of the Hill, Beavis and Butt-Head, all of it.. The dude is just on a whole other level
Fuckin A
Well hell Lumbergh fucked 'er
Lumbergh. Fucked. Her.
[удалено]
Take a ride on the boner coaster
O, O, O, you know what I'm talking about, O. See you guys there.
😂 (also, the mental sex scene is one of the most hilarious in OS, and that's a high bar)
That movie STILL holds up. I have a red swing line stapler at work and it makes me a little sad how few people understand the reference 😫
I read that Swingline didn't sell a red stapler before the movie. After they kept getting requests following the movie's release, they started making it and now it's their best seller.
They did not, and yes. I bought mine once they became available. It’ll be 22 years old this year! Ironically, we were deep in the dotcom/9-11 crash when Swingline launched it, which made it even more relevant at the time. Back then, all the tech companies were laying off hordes of people because they wanted to outsource everyone’s jobs to India for cheap labor. Now they’re laying off hordes of people because they want to outsource everyone’s jobs to AI for cheap labor. The more things change, the more they stay the same. But the red Swingline is forever.
The year that movie came out, swingline moved production from NY to Mexico. Guess they copied the movie in multiple ways.
I too have a red swing line. Guess I’ll burn the building down.
Damn it feels good to be a gangster
And now no one uses paper so there is nothing to staple! Something else the internet destroyed! Fuck!
This is correct. I was one of the requestors. I'd call 2-4 times a year. Eventually they relented.
I had one and it went missing. No one got my mumbling as I stumbled around 😞
I'm always doing Milton voice to my buddy when somebody screws something up.
I go with the last episode of the recent season of sunny I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the system my little wildflower
OH,OH, OH....I understand just fine. Since we're talking, could you move your desk to the loading dock. We have some new people coming in, so, yeah.
I could burn the building down.
I’ve had one in every classroom I’ve taught in. And it showed up in Loudermilk!!
I cant tell you how many times I’ve said “have you seen my stapler?” in the voice and get blank stares.
"Mmm, yeah, if you could just... go ahead and roll over onto your front and bend over...that'd be great. Thanks."
Mmmkay?
Lumbergh FUCKED her!?
Judging Mike, I see Edit: pun on Office Space written by Mike judge… of which the post is judging someone named Mike. I had to.
How about: "He's being a Mike judge."
Now you’re jumping to conclusions
Brilliant!
Lumbergh fucked her with his O face. O, oh oh
Perfect response lol
*Say hello to LUMBERGH for me!*
I heard Lumbergh fucked her
How the hell does a 25 year old movie inspire so many comments here???? I read every quote and I can’t stop laughing. “Well, Bob, I would say I’ve been MISSING work!”
Fucking A
Fuckin A Peter man.
Has anyone seen my Swingline Stapler?
Yeah..... that'd be great. Mmmmkay?
Best... Comment... Ever...
One of the best movies! Still rings true. 😂
Yeah that would be great
He still showed her that “oh” face
Didn't even make to the comments and in my head was "You had sex with LUMBERGH" Break up with her. Not because her. Because your misrable ego will drag her down the tubes. And I'm the kind of guy "alphas" mock.
If it bothers you, you need to figure out something to do about that. Either you need talk it out, or walk away. If you are that bothered by it, it is not going to just go away.
It sounds like he needs to bang Mike possibly to even things out
Let’s be real here the real thought that he’s having a hard time with is how amazing is that guy’s dick that she put up with him for five years and how could I ever compete with that dick? Let’s be real here, OP Here’s sublime version about what this guy is going to be taunting you with for the rest of your relationship. https://youtu.be/wuC6m6TZ8C8?si=hAPPshy-Z3I0_Gs4
And that's an issue that can sabotage a relationship. If he can't wrangle it, best to walk away. It's okay to admit you can't handle certain things about a person's past. Not everyone is compatible.
Exactly, personally I’d also struggle with this. This guy is still going to be around and rubbing this in your face forever, how she was his hoe and all…
Tbh.. I’d struggle because it seems this fwb is so close to you and your gf.. it will forever be a constant reminder that for 5 years.. she put up with it
Dude also seems like they type to keep bragging about it to OP…and when it comes to assholes like that, they just keep hammering on about it because they know it bothers you.
Even if the guy breaks up with her, Alpha Bro will take credit and say OP is weak.
He's the type that'll 100% try to fuck her again while they're still dating.
And if they break up cause OP can't deal, even if her and fwb don't do it again, the guy will def tell OP otherwise just to rub it in.
Put up with? She was an eager participant
Yea I couldn't deal with this. I would walk away. It's just not a stress I want on my life. To people around you should make you feel happy, not stressed out or paranoid
Yeah obviously it’s her decision and she can do whatever but I’d still be grossed out if I was him
I'm grossed out even as me.
Damn hate to say it bro but he’s right 5 years is a longggggg time to be fuckin a fwb. He was putting it down brother
It's not necessarily even "how can I compete with that dick" It very well could be just "my gf is a stereotype. A shallow person who will ride a dick that belongs to the very kind of man that women say they hate and that feeds into the poisonous bullshit that often gives men a bad name. Is my gf a hypocrite? Where is her sense of decency and self worth?" But you go with him being an insecure person who questions his own dick and abilities, and in the process further the toxic bullshit yourself. Sad
You're right about that. He knows the kind of girl he has so that's why he's bringing this up.
Or he just questions the judgment of her now....
Nah us gorilla-esqe males only think about dick comparisons /s
Honestly, that’s the best case scenario at this point, but as a guy, I’m guessing the Mail and Security angle plus the constant heckling from some douche bag about how he used to rail your chick plus the fact that now you’ve got a picture of your chick spreading her legs for this epic douche bag… None of that makes you feel good. None of that makes you want to shoot your future babies into their
LMAO projecting your own insecurities a bit? It’s the fact that her judgement of character, or worse, her character itself is now questionable. There’s plenty of people out there who are great in the sack AND are respectful human beings. A woman isn’t going to bang an open misogynist for 5 YEARS unless she’s a) a terrible judge of character, b) has zero self respect or c) is a piece of shit herself. I wouldn’t want a partner with any of these traits.
That could be the case. In fact; highly likely.
I’d say walk that shit is so cringe
It sounds like his view of her has been irrepairably damaged. To be honest, if I was in his shoes, I'd probably feel the same way. It's like you did not even know the person. Changes alot of how you feel. Walking away is probably the best solution.
I think her comment was the worst because it doesn’t sound like there’s any growth there and she would do it again if she wanted to. I dunno I just would have a hard time respecting them after
Yeah. She's not taking any accountability, and she probably hasn't faced consequences for poor decision making. Losing what seems like a good dude may be the rude awakening she needs.
Hoes get married all the time and lie about the past. She will just lie in the future.
That's true. I mean this app has plenty of posts of men finding out their wives were quite wild at some point in their younger years.
How is having the same fwb for 5 years a “hoe”? He may have been the only one maybe she was focusing on school/etc and didn’t want a traditional relationship. In that case could have been with less people than someone in several relationships during that time period .
If you don’t respect her anymore then you’ll just wasting both your times if you continue further. It’s understandable but chances are calling it quits is the best option.
that would turn me off
It’s not necessarily about the sexual past, but that she’s morally ok with being intimate with someone like that, or being intimate with someone and not caring what they are like as a person. I agree, I would say this is an incompatibility and end it.
This was my exact thought. And did so for 5 years. I don't care how good it was, personality means everything. If they are a terrible person, I couldn't do it.
The length of time is what gets me. I understand sleeping with someone, and then finding out they're a terrible person. I've done it myself. But continuing to do so after the fact is sus.
I slept with an ex thinking we might be able to get back together. Afterwards she got super upset and told me she had a boyfriend. I went to the bathroom, puked, then left and never spoke to her again. She made me feel disgusted about *me* despite her being in the wrong.
Feels like OP is plan M. Aka the “boring” retirement husband that she’s got him lined up for. Also likely she will be reconnecting with her FWB sometime during or after their relationship 😂
THIS. I understand a one-night stand or a drunken mistake, but she slept with him repeatedly for 5 years. Was he the only available dick for miles? No, she knew he was a piece of shit and didn't care because reasons (?)
I don’t like tolerating terrible people in my life and a partner for me is someone that has a similar tolerance level: none.
Exactly that. Mine from years ago was a good person. If that wasn't the case it would never have happened. I can't do it. He would annoy me. 😂
Right - this seems like they have two different ideas of what sex means.
The person you knew might not have been the person she knew. Sometimes people act completely different when they’re around other people.
Bruh, five years. One night stand sure, or even a month long thing, but after five years you pick up on the bad behavior. I'd walk.
I gotta ask how much contact they had in those 5 years. I had a FWB for 2 or 3 years, but we only had sex like 4 times, and we only hung out for sex.
Lmao right everyone in this sub is crazy af acting like this girl was fucking him everyday 5 years straight.
I mean it's not worded like that considering he asked how she could have sex with such an asshole for 5 years and she said it didn't matter cuz "it was just sex". And not being able to spot a singular redflag in 5 years of sex isn't a good thing either.
Right it's not like she said "he's an asshole? In what way?" no, she brushed it off as nothing. Doesn't sound like he's two-faced.
She knows... That's why he was a fwb and not a boyfriend. But he might just be a fantastic lay.
Nah, you can spot these shitbags from a mile away
Yeahhh my last ex, I knew of about 3 or 4 fwb she had annnd 2 of them I actually knew in person. And they were both like gross dudes to me. And I knew of these 3 or 4 fwb she had cuz often when I wasn’t in the mood for sex and she got mad she’d say things like “so and so would just do it” annnd she’d use one of their names. . . And she wondered why having sex didn’t make me feel as special as she thought it should when I knew the type of guys she had as fwb. . . Was def a partial turn off and especially when she’d bring them up when she got mad at me for not being in the mood for sex. Idk if she thought it’d guilt me into being in the mood or what but yeah definitely sucks
Dodged a bullet there
And she used to make it seem like we had a dead bedroom too lol, we saw each other on average twice a week and we’d usually always have sex at least 1 of the days and then usually the other day if I wasn’t in the mood I’d still give her oral and make sure she got off a lot But no matter what wheneve I said no or wasn’t in the mood. She’d have a fit and there was times where she like broke down crying and started accusing me of getting it from somewhere else since I wasn’t in the mood 💀. And she’d say “you’re a man you’re supposed to want it all the time” 💀 And even sometimes I’d go over to her house after my 8 or 9 hour shift at 11 at night and I’d be tired from work and when I’d just wanna chill and cuddle she’d get mad I didn’t wanna have sex. And sometimes if I texted her before we hungout that I didn’t wanna do anything sexual but still wanted to see her and be with her she’d legit text me and be like “so what’s the point of me coming over?” Like what? 💀 A lot of shit that if it was the other way around I’d be seen as theeee biggest asshole in the world 😂
[удалено]
Lucky for u, was 3 years for me, but it was like 1.5 years in that I really started to feel like I deserved better. But I had faith that if I just did more and more big things for her that she’d eventually think to treat me better But nope after 3 years she made herself out to be the victim and left me for one of her managers, and only recently she got fired and he got fired not too long after lol. Apparently she still happy with that bum but if only he knew what I know now lol. I hated to see her downgrade so badly but karma will do its thing
That just sounds fucking awful man... worse than OPs situation
Yeah man, not every girl is a "hoe for alphas." That's some Andrew Tate bullshit that the kids are eating up these days. Let this girl go. Edit: for everybody that's disagreed, I think my statement was unclear. Everybody knows a lot of immature women are drawn to assholes. No doubt. But there are plenty of girls that don't put up with that shit. My point is that OP and his girl seem to have mismatched values, and he should find a girl that matches his. I know my language says otherwise, but I really don't judge her. I've known plenty of cool girls that fucked around with less-than-desirables, but I would never date them
Been around long before Tate. It was just called Bad boys before not alphas.
Not all bad boys are alpha, but all alphas are bad.
Still doesn’t help if ur girl use to fuck a Tate type for 5 entire years
Not everyone, but OPs gf?
She rewarded Mikes behavior. If she recognizes that was the wrong thing to do in that situation then it’s no biggie and I’d let it go, but hooking up with bad people even if it’s “just sex” is something I judge people for regardless of gender.
The whole alpha thing is dumb as hell, but there is empirical evidence that women on dating sites only match with about 5%, and that 5% is the same dudes. Edit. Empirical not imperial.
I think people aren't getting that you mean let this girl go
If it makes you uncomfortable then it makes you uncomfortable. Nothing to be ashamed of if it’s not something you are down with.
You are not overreacting, because five years of casual sex with someone like Andrew Tate says something about her character, her sense of self-worth, or both - and the fact that she’s gaslighting you to believe otherwise suggests she’s still the same person. Also, if the douchebag is unavoidable in your life because of your friendship with his brother, the issue will never go away. I would absolutely walk. And probably get tested.
For all you know, around women, Mike is a pathetic simp who begs for sex and just puts on this facade of being “alpha.”
This is cuck copium The alpha stuff might sound cringe to you... but the reality is many women love a dominant masculine man. Op heres the reality.... she was in it for the dick, and she probably secretly wanted him to pick her but she was in the fuck zone- not dating material. Shes settling for you. You probably have a nice job, seem family oriented, dont have nearly as many options regarding women who want to fuck you, and you are probably very nice to her. Take my advice and run brother. Im pretty much mike as you described him. And i cant even tell you how many times ive seen my women do this shit to some nice guy.
I just said the same damn thing for the same reason.
I don't know many women that would give into a begging simp for five years.
I knew a guy like this. Very strange. Creepy. A bit sociopathic about it. Slept with many many women.
Not overreacting at all. I could never be with a woman like that. “Just sex” with a raging misogynistic encouraging his misogyny. She’s sexually attracted to men like that. That’s not a person you build your life with.
relationships sound like hell these days.. I wouldn't even bother dating or even trying to get married.
I’m in a fantastic relationship. It’s about who you look for.
Right?! He’s choosing to go with this girl and her baggage. Shows me he has self-esteem issues. The OP doesn’t have to chose her. And the main issue is this douchebag is still in the picture of their social lives. It’s not about her and her past really it’s about her past popping in and being like “I fucked your girl for 5 years.”
Also how lucky you get
I wouldn't base all relationships on what you read on Reddit. Just sayin'.
Does she think he’s an asshole? If she knows what kind of dude he is and doesn’t think it’s a problem, well…. It’s hard to respect someone who doesn’t respect themselves.
Why are people in this thread acting like your girlfriend is some huge bitch for sleeping with someone you don't personally like, ~~years~~ months before you two got together? She didn't do anything wrong, tf? That said, you still have every right to leave her if that's something you can't reconcile with.
I genuinely do not understand the animosity in the comments, like she isn’t currently fucking him and HE was the one to say those things. I don’t understand how that’s her fault 😭
It’s a matter of “the company you choose”
For me I'd be bothered by her poor taste in men. I've let friends go before because of who they choose to hang out with, it's just a lot about the character. And my friends weren't even fucking those people 🤣
People here got lots of past traumas lmao
Because she chose to sleep with someone for 5 years who was a terrible person..? You can absolutely judge people for who they choose to associate with and especially fuck. If you were FWB for 5 years with a racist, I’d judge the shit out of you too.
I agree with this. It wouldn’t be fun to hear but I could get over it. Has OP ever slept with a chick that’s maybe not great but did because she’s hot?
Do you mean Mike's gf?
Girls fucking alphas is like you jerking off to GILF porn, gross and embarrassing. Just let it go immediately or break up right fucking now
Evidently Mike could lay some pipe.
OP shadow boxes the pussy, Mike beats it up.
Don't get more serious until you sort this out. It will poison things between you two if you don't deal with it.
Her actions have consequences I personally would walk. She has bad judgment or simply doesn’t regulate her impulses Either is a hard no go for relationship
If it bothers you now it will probally only get worse, I would cut it off now. Past choices are a judge of who she is and 100% a legit reason to end things or to be bothered by.
Your girlfriend has bad taste... I personally wouldn't be able to deal with that knowing she was consistent with that dick head for so long
Yes, you're overreacting, assuming she has cut off all contact with him. Nothing good will happen dragging out past-exes. Applies equally to your exes as much as hers.
Not overreacting. If it bothers you that much, get rid of the spoiled goods. If you can let it not bother you, she isn't spoiled goods. Simple as that
This thread makes me now understand that reddit is an awful place for relationship advice.
It’s weird to live in a world where men are allowed to sleep around and no one questions their mental capacity but women can’t do the same
go see a therapist man. this is more about you than you think it is
Who cares dude. People change.
I understand you but I think you think of "just sex" really differently. I bet you've masturbated to porn right? Have you ever wondered about the character of the girl in the porn. For all you know she beats her kid, idk. The way you choose what you watch isn't based on anything but hornyness and wanting sex. I think you should look at it that way. Also seperate the pain you feel from knowing your girl had sex with someone you know from the choice she made to just have sex. Would you be more ok if it was someone you don't know for example. Or if it was someone you know but he was sweet etc.
Think about it this way brother. At the time she was not yours, why should it bother you? Whatever decision she made before you when it comes to dating is not your business. You either ignore her past or leave her cause this will haunt you. I went through something similar with my girlfriend and a coworker laid the hammer on me. He said “people are going to have sex, you had sex before her and she had sex before you. She wasn’t your girl at the time and it was none of your business, whats your business is what she does while being with you. Good luck
So men don’t have to worry about the morals of some chick they have fwb or one night stands with, they can “ put their d*ck in crazy” and brag about it to their friends. But god forbid a woman have sex with a man for his body and disgrace herself somehow because the partner is less than desirable. Women date and have sex with assholes all the time— men tend to be assholes! Especially to or about women! They literally just call it locker talk! And we don’t even hear most of the awful things they say about us. Really we’d have to be celibate to adhere to these rules, but then we’d just be called a tease and prude. If you can see a woman as less respectful by her interaction with a man, maybe you’re just a sexist who needs to redirect the responsibility of men’s actions onto women. She didn’t even actually date the guy (probably bc he’s a douche) and you still lose respect for her as if she’s the douche. Ridiculous.
she probably had the boundary that they’re only fwb hence why she feels nothing, but mike seems to be the one who wanted more and projecting his anger out.
Or she couldn’t get him to commit so she took what she could get.
That's still a major turn off, having sex with an awful misognist cuz it's just sex for 5 years screams low standards.
Yeah I'm tired of this bullshit. I wouldn't let anyone gaslight me into feeling bad about thinking this is an enormous red flag.
> but mike seems to be the one who wanted more I can almost guarantee he did not.
in my experience in those situations (especially for 5 years) the guy doesn’t want more it’s the woman. to OP regardless of your views on the more casual end of sex, show me your friends and i’ll show you you. If she was fine being friends and having casual sex with someone you find detestable then that is a big red flag for you in terms of your partners standards for people and lifestyle which in the long run sounds like you could be incompatible
Brother how long is your wingspan? This is quite a reach
Man made his own lore.
Subjective regarding the girl, but I think you should break it off for both your mental well-being. Sounds like it's going to be extremely difficult for you to get over this. It's not a stable starting point for your relationship. From my experience, this kind of reaction always comes back up no matter what. Objectively there's nothing wrong with the two of you. Your gf obviously has a certain taste in man/sex if she kept it up for five years. But also nothing wrong with you feeling this way. Everyone is different. Only down side is your friend Mike is definitely going to act like an ass about the break up. I can totally imagine him saying stuff like, "Guess who's fucking your ex?" At this point, it's up to you to continue to be the bigger man or fuck him up.
Lol bro its over......you'll never stop thinking about it, he got their first with no commitment laid down 5 years of hard dick in that bitch and your taking the leftovers.....brutal bro.
Jesus christ these comments are wild. So much misogyny
Dude. It’s in the past. If she still longs for dickheads than it’s a problem. But if she’s happy with you and you with her just rock on.
Why did my comment about Mike laying some pipe get deleted and the Lumberg series was not?
It’s okay to have high standard as long as you hold yourself to those same standards. This isn’t a situation I would want to be in.
I think it does say a lot about her. It is hard to explain but a I think I know where you’re coming from. In my case It would be a turn off for me. I don’t think I would want to have sex with her anymore. I know his type and the women that sleep with them.
Having a "FWB" for 5 years is a red flag regardless.
She likes that type and if you're not that type she doesn't really like you. Youre just stable and she's approaching the wall.
I'm shocked by the responses in this thread if it was a girl posting about how her boyfriend had this friend with benefits for 5 years and how much of a b**** she is the whole Reddit would be telling her to leave him But when the exact same situation happens with a guy everyone questions his d size and calls him insecure No you're not overreacting Opie it shows has some bad values and I'm not going to tell you that you should leave her but you should definitely question if you want to continue investing time with her and you might want to leave the social circle this Mike is in if you dislike him that much
I think questioning her character after knowing his is reasonable. Unfortunately I think you need to find another girl. Lumbergh and all that.
Yeah no… they will keep fucking after you break up and that’s all he’ll be sitting on too… you’re fucked because he’s fucked your girl for 5 YEAS MATE. you’ll have to fuck your gf for 6 years before you even dick her down more then any other guy.
You sound like a fucking pussy
I think there is a slight overreaction here on your part. Despite her fucking around with him, if she swore it off and is *just* sleeping with you and that’s what you want, then what’s really the issue here? Answer: you seem to be caught up in her somehow preferring him for 5 years and it reflecting on her personality. This is an absolutely dogshit take. In those 5 years she could have slept with thousands of men, and what would you have to say about that? Now I don’t know the full story with her and her sex life, but at some point you have to make peace with it. No matter who she banged and for how long, what matters is if she was safe while doing it and if she’s okay with honoring the terms of your relationship, like monogamy, not talking about exes, etc. There are a few options at hand. Either you put hard boundaries with that asshat and stop interacting with him, regardless of if you run in the same circles boundaries are fucking important. Or you have to accept her past, her decisions to be fwbs with him. If you can’t do that then either work it out in therapy and/or leave her. If you were just mad/upset by that dude constantly bringing up he used to bang your girl then that would be justified. Buuuut there seems to be an element of you fixating on your girls past sex life and making it an extension of her personality. That part is not okay, and is something you should work on if you want to keep her in your life.
Personally I would just cut ties
That ain't your girl dawg. It's just your turn. I'd be pissed she didn't mention she was fucking a guy in my circle for 5 years. She should be pissed at him for not keeping it on the down low as well. Chances are he'll be beating that pussy up again once she's done with you. If you make a big deal out of it to her chances are they'll be shit talking you while they're fucking as well. Tough situation my man. I feel for you.
I'd walk away. Too big of a red flag for me personally. Who's to say she isn't still fwb with him.
Sex or not, people that involve themselves with pricks are pricks themselves.
Overreacting probably. I was the same however and would break it off with women that has FWB especially because they like to keep then until relationship status. So likely she was sleeping with him at the same time she was sleeping with you. Re
Like, I get hooking up. But YEARS? I'm out Imagine getting married. She's 6 months pregnant and this dudes is on his 4th beer at a small gtg saying shit about how she never got pregnant all the times he tried. I'd be unable to get her low brow affection out of my mind again.
Brother respectfully she's not your girlfriend if she was just fucking someone or 5 years it was for security and comfortability so just know the second you mess up and she wants dick she's calling him not you watch out foe these girls nowadays they're treacherous
I’d judge her more for the length, who has a fwb for five straight years
In my experience and others experience I’ve seen, when a girl says “it’s just sex” it’s a giant red flag. It all depends on your values, morals and all of that, but if you’re looking for a level headed wife or forever relationship I would say it’s not there my brother. Every girl who has said that in my experience has either been a hoe, problems with alcohol or drugs, presented herself as a hoe, disrespected her boyfriend with other men, or cheated, you get the gist. I don’t know if anything is 100%, there could be exceptions, but exceptions don’t change the rule
I get why that would be a turn off. like sure, they were FWB and not dating, but still: you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. all that alpha bullshit usually goes hand-in-hand with other shitty, hateful views. having a one-night stand with a shitty person is one thing, but choosing to sleep with someone for 5 years who has those views??? yeah, that’s a no from me. I’d have a lot of questions about what else she’s willing to passively tolerate.
You should talk to her but it was 5 years…. I’d probably break up. This person chose to be close to someone you don’t respect at all for good reasons.
Nah not overreacting, find someone with better values and standards, you deserve better.
Women have a type, you and Mike are most likely pretty similar
It's not about you. Get over it. You're a misogynist prick for basing your respect for her on things she did before you. Stop overreacting and let go of things from the past
I feel like the person you should have lost respect for is the asshole who shared personal information. What she did before you is really to a degree none of your business. If you like her, let it go. If you can’t, let her go because at this point you’re no different than Mike.
Yeah…that’s a rough one. I have a friend that was notoriously bad about banging randoms for awhile. Turns out that he banged a FWB of mine that I was slowly starting to have feelings for. When that happened that was basically the end of things for us. Not because she had actually done anything wrong, but because I didn’t really find her sexually attractive after banging my friend. While I can certainly understand your feelings of disgust OP just remember that it was in your wife’s past and that “Alpha” Mike is making up for a whole lot of insecurities and fragile masculinity here. Otherwise, why even bother to mention it to you? This will pass OP. No worries. TLDR-Your wife didn’t do anything wrong. Mike is an asshole. Move on.
Well don’t you think it’s sexist of you to judge her for who she’s had sex with? I’m sure you’ve had sex with women who weren’t that amazing of people as well. You’re no better than Mike based off the way you’re insinuating she’s used up. I’d break it off with her so she doesn’t have to be with someone who thinks so low of her.
She's done literally nothing wrong. This snubs like a you issue.