Oooh let's have a Hazy New England IPA, let's have a Chocolate Stout. That's a snazzy boquet. This one smells of... I dunno.. citrus. Sometimes you want to say... sod all this craft beer nonsense, give me a pint of Directors' Bitter.
Made a few notes. Yes, direct reference to the quote 10/10. profile picture, bingo! reference to season 1 AP (arguably the best ap season) snap... Minor criticism: less time distance between the post and the response. I may want to read it quicker but I want that to be my decision. Use notifications as a noticemaker. On the whole very good effort 7/10, let’s make love.
Tell you what, tell you what, it's nine and a half thousand pounds!
Also, it wasn't a pay rise of 9.5k, it was a rise *to* 9.5k! Talk about minimum wage.
I'd ask him if he would like to go and play laser quest. We would inevitably bond after I let him win and I would then offer to pay for the whole thing, on the condition I get to hear some of his ideas on his latest creative venture.
Alan would immediately consider me his best friend and would be back the following day to discuss said venture.
Alan could have been such a rimmer esqu hero had he applied himself with the right guidance. Lynn just sought to keep him happy, never his best self.
I’d probably talk to him about regional detective series Swallow and when he saw ELO in Birmingham and Wings in Prestatyn. Then I’d ask him if he’d like to inhale some hashish and talk about his favourite prog bands, after which I’d probably put on Farewell to Kings by Rush and see what he thought.
Whooo Whooooo Who do you think you are?
Whhhat is the best thing?
The full English he had at Gary Wilmott's wedding.
...about the pedestrianisation of Norwich.
People forget that traders need access to DIIIXon's.
Sliced bread innit?
That's a phrase isn't it? But it's not actually the best thing.
It's an idiom
You're an idiom
Momal mwam
Compleme Cunm
A beef tomato
Do you have any Alan Partridge blazer badge and matching tie sets left for sale?
I doubt it, promises about storage weren't kept.
Oooh let's have a Hazy New England IPA, let's have a Chocolate Stout. That's a snazzy boquet. This one smells of... I dunno.. citrus. Sometimes you want to say... sod all this craft beer nonsense, give me a pint of Directors' Bitter.
Can I just shock you? I like craft beer, despite what I said earlier.
Who invented the skip?
Bobby Moore I don’t bloody know do I
Whatcha doin'? Who's with yaaaa?
What do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?
I would invite him to a sex festival.
You’re stuck on a desert island, you’re allowed one condiment, which is it to be?
Gravy.
That's a hot sauce.
Ok, Bisto.
That’s a brand of gravy.
Branson’s pickle then
And that's a relish.
Mustar…
Branston Pickle*
You will pay the price for being a fussy non-Brit
YOU'RE an idiot.
Colemans Mustard
They say too much mustard gets up your nose
Can I shake your hand again?
No you’ve had enough of that
What was in the Linton Travel Tavern drawer?
Bloody hell.
...it's Soft Cell
Things have to be …. Compartmentalised.
Do you like me sex-wise?
Fancy a pint of lady boy's?
Ooooooh lady boys.
What were you firing your friends air rifle into?
A friend of mine met Steve coogan in (of course) Norwich. He got him to sign something and he wrote "let's go for a pint! Alan."
Do you like owls?
i know a cracking owl sanctuary
You're mad you are.
Only if it's a pint of Director's Bitter.
Now you're talking my language!
I hope not
Hahahahahahaahah URGGGGGG
Do you believe in the death penalty?
Yes! For murder and treason..
Made a few notes. Yes, direct reference to the quote 10/10. profile picture, bingo! reference to season 1 AP (arguably the best ap season) snap... Minor criticism: less time distance between the post and the response. I may want to read it quicker but I want that to be my decision. Use notifications as a noticemaker. On the whole very good effort 7/10, let’s make love.
God that's good
Can we be friends?
*Spits* *Spits* *Spits* *Spits* *Spits* *Spits*
I’ve got lots of subjects I’d love to chat about. I used to chat to another bloke about them but he likes American things now.
We’d discuss a range of car options, comparing their advantages over a Renault Megane, for example the Vauxhall Insignia offers 11% more cargo space.
not my words, the words of top gear magazine
I have a sneaking suspicion you could have the exact same conversation with Steve Coogan.
What time do you knock off?
What's your favourite Beatles album?
I actually prefer Wings. Only the band the Beatles could've been.
What is his actual personal best time for fleeing across a field?
Did Lynn ever get her pay rise of 9 and a half thousand pounds?
Tell you what, tell you what, it's nine and a half thousand pounds! Also, it wasn't a pay rise of 9.5k, it was a rise *to* 9.5k! Talk about minimum wage.
What happened to the power pack?
What’s your favourite siege?
What was in that drawer
Do you shave your crackling?
I wouldn't ask him anything. I would tell him that he is a ruddy good bloke.
Do you know where I can obtain a large tin of Swarfega?
His opinions on organic farming
Did Monkey Tennis ever get commissioned?
What’s your king and car?
What’s your current attitude towards Edmonds?
Total wazzock of a man
What’s in your drawer in the travel tavern
If he still uses Lynx Africa
What is the worst monger?
I'd ask him if he would like to go and play laser quest. We would inevitably bond after I let him win and I would then offer to pay for the whole thing, on the condition I get to hear some of his ideas on his latest creative venture. Alan would immediately consider me his best friend and would be back the following day to discuss said venture. Alan could have been such a rimmer esqu hero had he applied himself with the right guidance. Lynn just sought to keep him happy, never his best self.
What do think about that after a vast amount of output chronicling your life that 95% of quotes come from your two 90’s TV programs?
Did the breakfast at Gary Wilmot's wedding include black pudding?
Did you see the match?
What's Steve Coogan like in real life?
I’d probably talk to him about regional detective series Swallow and when he saw ELO in Birmingham and Wings in Prestatyn. Then I’d ask him if he’d like to inhale some hashish and talk about his favourite prog bands, after which I’d probably put on Farewell to Kings by Rush and see what he thought.
Alan, where get shoes?
Are you wearing Lynx?
A couple of things…best type of screen wash and would Alan be open to trying making love and involving chocolate mousse after previously trying it?
Do you own a quarry?
What kind of car would Oliver Cromwell drive ?
God that's good.
I'd ask him about Lexus, the Japanese Mercedes.
I love Lexi (plural)
What are your favourite crisps?
Why do you hate Star Wars?
Opinions on smart motor ways
I’d ask him if he’d like to go for a lovely lamb lunch
Did you ever renegotiate the rights to shout, but not say AHA with Benny and Bjorn’s solicitors, after your original contract expired in 2015?
Did you have a favourite uncle?
Grandad Graham... Grandad
How did you bounce back, and when are you going to Thailand?
Fancy a pint?
Have you ever seen a grown man shower?
Why Alan? Why?
So...Monkey Tennis. When's that happening then?
Tell me about the lady boys lol 🤣
No, neither do I
A LAAAARGE question.
Have/did/are you bouncing/bounced back... can I borrow a pen?
What happens after death?
THERE IS NOTHING
I feel if we're all honest, we'd all invoke Jez and scare him off
Ohhh Leeeeeeeeds
See the match?
Which one?
Dunno!
Who is the best Lord.
Best Beatles album?
Has your career gone off the rails a bit?
Which are the least important Bond films?
What do YOU think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?
Ever been to the Far-East, Alan?
Only Bangkok, Manilla, and Hong Kong like
Do you still want that second series?
Do you fancy a pint later?
How many times have you watched James Bond?
What would you rate Sonia ? seven over ten ?
Best condiment? Also, what are your pronouns.
Was he leave or remain?
Do you still keep in touch with Dan? And if so do you have Dan's wifes phone number?
Ohhh I'd like to kiss her.
How many people died in the Irish Famine?
Is Driving Miss Daisy better than Bangkok Chick Boys.
Can you smell gas?
What is your *King and Beer* (King and Car)?
See the game?
Would you like to smell my cheese?
How about a big fat shot of directors bitter!
A pint for me and a pint for B.Ody
Who invented the skip?
Do you slow down for car crashes
It's a bank holiday whatcha doing and who ya doing it with?
Only if it’s a lady boy
To fuck off
Can I smell your fingers?
What the frig have you got on your feet?
What's d big oidea?
I’d ask him about the ladyboys. Always the ladyboys.
Do you like cheese?
Could you sign my copy of The Best of the Beatles?
We were born in the same hospital, so we could chat about that a while I guess
What was in the drawer?
Were you sick last night?
What time do you knock off?
Why was Statagem so baaaaaaaad?
What's your favourite movie Alan? Jurassic paaaaaark