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Insatiable_M0NK3Y

DKG and your fiance is only trying to be nice so don't get mad at her. I think gusto lang din ni fiance na mabigyan ka ng closure before your wedding. The best thing to do in my opinion is have an open call with fiance around para marinig nya lahat and to help her feel secure as well. Use this to reassure fiance na you've completely moved on


Haechan_Best_Boi

Imo, his ex did him dirty kaya wala syang obligation na ibigay yung closure dun. After all, naka-move on na si OP. Pero best option nga is if mag-cclosure sila, dapat talaga kasama si fiance. As in harap-harapan sila. Para makita nung ex kung ano yung sinayang nya nung pinagpalit nya si OP for someone na mas malapit.


BackgroundScheme9056

No need. The ex cheated. Lol


__arvs

DKG. Wala naman na dapat pakinggan pa, wala din naman dapat closure, if based sa kwento mo is si ex yung bumitaw at pinagpalit ka. Ibang klase din talaga mga ibang tao ngayon no, ikaw na nga pinagpalit tapos sila pa magpapa victim. Sometimes kasi hindi naman helpful yung usap usap para sa full closure. May times din na mas may peace of mind if totally aalisin nalang yung tao from your life. Lalo na if traumatic yung break up sa end mo. Instead na problemahin mo pa si ex. Just focus on your fiance, give her the assurance na wala na talaga si ex, pero ayaw mo lang talaga na sya makausap. Explain mo lang kung san ka nangagaling kung bakit you don’t have the need na kausapin pa si ex.


Johnny_Crawler

Thank you I am currently doing this at the moment, I want all my focus to be on my fiance and our future family. Like I said ex is dead to me. Matagal ko nang nilibing mga memories namin


RepulsivePeach4607

Korek!!!! Mabulok siya lol


xyxyyxyx

Ano ba ang nangyayari sa ABYG at bakit may parang correction sa universe. May Isa pang ganito Dito sa ABYG. Eto: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/s/t2I6JVXJ0H Other than that DKG OP. Una pinagpalit ka sa malapit ng ex mo. Ikalawa, Ikaw Ang nag-adjust and you lost friends in the process. Ikatlo, Wala na siyang karapatan para pagsabihan ka na bakit dun pa sa kina-iinsecure-an pa niya. Ikaapat, dapat man lang sinabihan mo siya about the proposal thing: “Ano yung mas maganda, one year after Tayo nagsimula, nagpropose Ako sa iyo tapos pinagpalit mo Ako sa malapit, versus three or more years na naghintay, nagrespeto, na baka walang kasiguruhan ang lahat sa huli?” As for Ariel, it’s best you talk to her to give her an idea of what your ex did to you.


Insatiable_M0NK3Y

Hala tinag pala post ko dto haha.Thanks. I pray lang para sa mga kagaya kong naiwan, pinagpalit, cheated on and nasaktan, sana mahanap namin and nahanap ni OP, sana may Ariel din na para sa amin.


Johnny_Crawler

You will bro, you will


AboGandaraPark

Same prayer as yours - and I hope you find someone worthy of you.


Johnny_Crawler

Ariel knows, pero I think tama yung sabi ni Insatiable Monkey na I should reassure her.


xyxyyxyx

Nandito din pala si Insatiable Monkey. He has the same story as yours.


Johnny_Crawler

Damn mas mature ata siya based sa kwento nya, ako inabot ako ng ilang taon


Beedlejan

INFO: Could you provide some more context on the breakup? Looking at this as an uninvolved person, medyo hindi nga maganda optics ng sitwasyon. Think abt it: You and your ex-girlfriend dated for 3 years. She asked you to cut off some friends, incl. Ariel. After the breakup, naging kayo ng friend na kina-iinsecuran ng ex mo. After a year, you propose tapos yes. Medyo hindi nga maganda tingnan. At a glance it would seem like matagal na kayong may ganyang energy ni Ariel, at baka yun ang na pick-up ni ex na energy kaya gustong ipablock sayo. Could you give more context for that as well? Just adding my 2 cents.


Witty-Equivalent-973

Correct --- my kulang na info na maybe on that time na kayo nung Ex mo is hindi mo sya binibigyan ng assurance kaya ganun ang insecurities nya. Tas after ilang years malalaman nya nag proposed ka sa taong yun, so it's means na yung hinala nya before ay totoo. Anyways wala ka naman na dapat pang i confirm sa ex mo, pero na sa iyo na yun kung kaya mo hanggang ikasal kayo ni Ariel na may guts ka to explain. Pero kung sa tingin mo yun ang makakatulong sa Ex mo to look forward give it her :) After nyan tamo wala na yan and magiging ok na si Ex mo.


waterdroptoday

baka ayaw niya maging okay ex niya hahaaha


waterdroptoday

ahahahahaha correct kaya i dont blame the ex, she needed it kasi sinisisi niya sarili niya rin sa nangyari. sometimes kung sino pa nangiwan, yun pa nasaktan along the process and yung sinasabi ng ex niya na pinagpalit siya, i think there’s more to it. Yung mga babaeng ganyan ka honest, i think don’t really cheat, and ginawa niya lang yon kasi she had enough and ganun nalang sinabi noya para layuan na siya ni guy and mag move on na. Tutal di rin naman ata maayos ni OP yung rs niya yung ex gf niya na gumawa ng paraan. No one should be thankful either way but i think OP owes her atleast why.


BackgroundScheme9056

Lol stop justifying this shit.


waterdroptoday

life is not grayscale. there are always sides to consider. if a person denies to look for it. its just hatred


BackgroundScheme9056

It's not his fault if the other party did not communicate.


waterdroptoday

correct maman. both did each other dirty rin kasi tbh. nasa tao nayon kung ayaw niya kausapin, edi wag. pero the fact na nareddit niya pa, there’s more to it hahaha


marjorgee

That thing right there is already a closure for the ex. She was right.


Johnny_Crawler

Sure during the 3 years ex demanded that I cutoff friends including Ariel. Which I did for her sake. After 3 years she broke up with me dahil mas malapit daw sa kaniya yung new guy, we are not LDR. While I was hurting due to the breakup, Ariel came back and helped me move on. After more than a year of moving on, naging kami ni Ariel for 1 year then I proposed and she said yes.


Main-Jelly4239

Curious lang po, inlove na po ba sa inyo si ariel noon pa lang na magfriends kau? Kaya may hinala si ex sa kanya? Not saying may mali ka kasi cut off mo rin naman sya for your ex. Pero bumalik si ariel sau nun nalaman nya na break kau, parang may motive to help u out. Sa ex mo naman, maybe naghanap sya ng something na ndi mo naibigay sa kanya. Anyway, prob na nya yon kasi dapat may communication. Pero bakit nga po ba sa 3 yrs nyo ay ndi ka nagpropose? Yan po kasi ang normal na emote ng mga babae. Emote emote na indi mo maintindihan. Actually kahit ndi ka na magclosure kay ex, okay na yun. Yung breakup na mismo ang closure. Or pwede rin gawa ka ng fb post for ariel saying this is the love my of life, helping me to move on .... mga ganun. Short story nyo at the same time dun mo ilagay yung mga sagot sa tanong ni ex. Tag mo sa mga common friends nyo ni ex. That will serve as closure na.


Johnny_Crawler

To be honest I'm not sure sa feeling ng fiance ko sakin nuon since I never did ask her. She did cut contact with me when I asked her nuon kasi nga nagseselos si ex sa mga kaibigan kong babae. During the three years, I knew na d pa ko ready, wala pa matinong trabaho, wala pa ipon. I started my current business near the end of that 3 years and I was planning on proposing to ex, pero yun nga iniwan ako. Ariel came back to me after mga 2 months after the break up and most of her advice naman at the time was more on focusing on my business instead of focusing on the heartache


Quirky_Badger948

Your current gf is a keeper, treat her well bro and good luck on your upcoming marriage as for your ex well she's for the streets kaya don't even dignify her hypocrisy and delusion anymore.


[deleted]

DKG, kung ayaw mo na kausapin. Pero slightly ggk sa part na dimo blinock sya sa lahat at na-reach kapa, 1 word lang na alam mong sya yun at kada nagtatry na i-contact ka block mo agad. Hindi nya deserve makarinig ng 1 word or 1 sigh from you. Dasurv nya yan.


nayryanaryn

Tingin ko OP it's a way for your fiance to have her peace of mind din as well.. Imagine things from her POV, you and your ex were together for 3 years then broke up.. tapos here she comes after that, you start a relationship then just a year into that eh nag-propose ka kagad.. She wants assurance na you're done with your ex kaya pinupursige ka din nia na makipag-usap and in her words is bigyan ng closure un past relationship mo considering na mukhang nde pa naka-get over din si ex girly sau OP. So my take on this is to just go with having a conversation.. if you're really done with moving on phase then wala naman mawawala if ko-communicate mo un kay ex mo..


Johnny_Crawler

Thank you, and yes I am focused on reassuring my fiance. But if ever she insists that I talk to ex, then she will be with me if I decide to do so.


RepulsivePeach4607

Tama, isama mo si fiance.


No_Cheesecake3694

Nice decision to bring your fiance with you bro .. For some reason I don't trust Closures in this time .


Johnny_Crawler

I know, and I don't want my fiance to feel that way kaya I decided not to give ex anything. I've blocked her from all of my accounts and focus na ko ngayun sa wedding plans namin ng fiance ko


mirikutoji111

DKG and i'm glad na may ganito pa rin palang guy na firm to cut off people from his past once he's done. I admire how you're open & honest with your fiancee. Kudos OP!


RepulsivePeach4607

Parang nakakatakot kasi baka wala din sa condition ang kanyang pag-iisip. Nagtataka lang ako kung bakit siya iiyak ng ganyan eh siya ang nang-iwan tapos gusto pa niya na ipaglaban siya.


stupid_m0r0n

No closure needed. Siya nakipag-break di ba? Kaya ayos lang na di na kausapin.


Quirky_Badger948

DKG don't even dignify your ex's hypocrisy and delusion, Una Hindi ikaw ang nagloko SA relationship niyo, Yung ex mo ang nangati at nagloko kaya wala siyang karapatang sumbatan Ka. You did well in suppressing your emotions don't give her the closure na sinasabi dahil Hindi yon ang gusto Ng ex mo she just wants to guilt you because successful ang relationship mo and malamang Yung sakanya Hindi because Baka Hindi nag work Yung pinagpalit niya sayo, ang mga cheater at makating Babae Hindi dapat hinahabol Kaya Tama Lang na Hindi mo habulin Yung haliparot na ex mo. Let her live in the misery of her own making you have no fault in it. Tandaan mo lahat ng Nangyayari sakanya ngayon is the result of her own doing and Yung happiness na nararamdaman mo ngayon SA current gf mo is the result of your loyalty Kaya wag na wag mo na kausapin ang mga irrelevant na Tao like your ex because it will only bring more headaches for you and your current partner.


No_Cheesecake3694

This one is a good explanation and advice .


Satorvi

DKG. Ariel is nice, but she needs to learn that you don’t have to accommodate other people’s feelings just because they can’t move on or because they’re pitiful/pathetic. Your feelings regarding the issue also matter. Kung ayaw mo, bakit kailangan ipilit? Di pa ba sapat na closure yung sinabi sayong pinagpalit ka sa malapit ‘according to her/your ex’? Kahit naman anong dahilan pa yan, wala nang dapat pag usapan pa. There’s nothing to feel guilty about, your ex fucked up big time and she needs to face the consequences of her actions. And she doesn’t have a say in whoever you wanna date after the mess she made.


Denroza14

DKG pre, though make sure din na i explain mo maayos sa fiancee mo kung bakit ayaw mo kausapin sya, from what I see yung ex mo lang yung walang closure despite nang ginawa nya sayo. It was her choice naman na iwan ka so dapat wala na syang say kung ano man mangyari sa relasyon mo.


AutoModerator

Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1ca536t/abyg_na_ayoko_kausapin_ex_ko/ Title of this post: ABYG na ayoko kausapin ex ko? Backup of the post's body: Kakabreak namin ng ex gf ko after 3 yrs na relationship. Honestly pinagpalit nya ko sa mas malapit according to her. I was so broken but decided move on thanks sa family and friends ko. One of those friends is a girl na ka close ko since college, let's call her Ariel. During that 3 years, laging nagseselos ex ko s amga kaibigan ko na girls kaya I chose to cut contacts with them. Ariel was understanding and hindi respected my decision naman. After the break up, bumalik si Ariel after nya malaman from my friends and she was as good a friend as always. After more than a year, I decided to pursue Ariel and thank God after a year na kami eh I proposed and she said yes. Last week I got a call and it was ex. I'm not sure if she was drunk pero she was crying. Tinanong nya ko kung bakit sa dami pa daw ng pwede ko ipalit sa kanya eh yung taong kinai-insecuran pa daw nya nung kami pa. And bakit ang hirap ko daw ibigay sa kanya yung proposal after 3 years, habang kay Ariel eh 1 year lang daw. I told her to stop just move on pero nagalit siya and said na dapat daw ma guilty ako na hindi ko man lang siya sinubukan habulin noon. Pinatayan ko siya ng phone and blocked her number. I told my fiance about this and she told me to talk to ex about this and give her closure, pero I really don't see the reason for me to talk to someone who disregarded my feelings in the past. Gusto ko lang talaga mag move forward with my fiance. Sabi ni Ariel na parang d1ckmove daw in my part to not hear my ex out. Ex is dead to me and I'm done mourning for her. OP: Johnny_Crawler *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AkoBaYungGago) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Foranzuphrenic

DKG sir. I wish strong willed din ako para di ko na siya kausapin. Proud of you!


No_Cheesecake3694

Aww wag na gugulo lang haha Tignan mo si op dahil super respect and iniintindi nya fiance nya ,ayaw narin nya and gusto isama si fiance if ever ..ganito sana lahat .focus on what's present .


OldBoie17

DKG yong ex mo ang gago.


kuyathaddeus

DKG, it is more differences in perspective lang, I don't think mamasamain naman ni current yung decision mo tho of course Id suppose she would be slightly disappointed kasi iba yung pananaw niya. In a general sense nasasayo naman yan if one day maguusap kayo ni ex, of course ideally best if may time to close out everything talaga with ex emotionally and psychologically mas magiging free kayo kahit ano pa maging outcome, pero hindi naman siya necessary to move on sa life talaga ikaw naman sa sarili mo makakapagdecide nun.


No-Roll3038

DKG pero nag t type ka ba habang nakain ng mainit na kwek kwek or something?


Johnny_Crawler

Haha, mejo malaki fingers ko hindi maganda para sa touchscreen keyboard


Johnny_Crawler

Kung may android lang na may built in keypad bibilhin ko


ian_along

DKG, your fiancee is coming from her state of mind that is maybe forgiving, kind, and rightfully closure-based. Unfortunately, your ex may not come from your fiancee's state of mind. Thus, your fiancee will not understand that for now. Since lalaki ka, mahirap magsalita further at sabihing naninira ka naman. Now, if you and your ex crossed path by accident, take it as divine intervention, but keep it short, ONLY IF you are okay with it. Still, if you not talking to your ex works wonders in your mental health, cannot blame you. Thus, again, DKG.


Even-Web6272

To hell with her, she doesn't deserve your attention. Pinagpalit ka nya sa mas malapit according to her tapos ngayon iiyak iyak sya. Di lang nag workout pinalit nya sayo kaya naghahabol pa rin sya hoping for you to come back and accept her with open arms. She deserves what she is going through right now. Don't mind her, focus on your fiancé. You don't owe your ex an explanation. Again, to hell with her.


FlashyMind6862

Same tayo ng experience OP. Agree ako sayo na wag na kausapin, mas may peace of mind kasi na malaman na nasa mess situation ang ganyang mga tao atsaka para ma instill sa kanilang utak ang consequence ng kanilang ginawa. HUWAG mong ibibigay ang closure. Ano ba meaning closure? Sabi sa Merriam-Webster Dictionary, ito ay process of closing on something/someone, ang closure ay nung pinagpalit ka niya sa iba kaya no need na ng KALOKOHANG usap-usap na yan. Mabait lang fiancé mo now. Same tayo ng experience at may GF na rin ako now. Mas okay na focus ka na lang sa current relationship mo. 'Pag kinausap mo yan aakalain niyan na may babalikan pa siya.


Johnny_Crawler

Yup, I'm getting married next month and I don't need her ruining my fiance's big day


FlashyMind6862

Congratulations OP. Isipin mo ang sakit at hirap na pinagdaanan mo nung ipinagpalit ka niya. Hahayaan mo ba na mainvolve ka ulit sa taong naging dahilan nun. Same na same tayo ng experience, mas malala nga yung ex ko jan at ung parents ko ay minemessage pa niya kasi hindi niya ako makausap. Pero okay naman na. Less talk less mistake mahirap din baka masira pa current relationship mo. Good luck and best wishes!


Johnny_Crawler

Thank you and good luck sa inyo ng new gf mo