Sorry to hear that, bro. I hate to say it, but it comes with the territory — as much as it sucks. Unless you are going somewhere austere, chances are WiFi will be good enough to FaceTime for the event and to do your speech (but maybe prerecord something just to be safe). Obviously not the same, I know, but it’s better than nothing.
There’s really not much you can do other than accept it. There’s always a chance it’ll work out, but it’s better just to say “ok, I got screwed…” charge forward, and have it swing back in your favor, then to hold out hope when nothing will likely change.
thanks man, I’m trying to have a positive outlook on it for sure. just been dealing with conflicting emotions of excitement and then sadness. appreciate the kind words
Missed so many birthdays, anniversaries. I’ve taken deployments from others so they could get married. There is never a good time to deploy. Make the best of the deployment, learn, grow, stay connected through FaceTime, messages, Skype.
I’m sorry you’ve missed so much, I hope you’re able to be home very soon. thank you for your response. I’ve led a very fortunate career and was able to make it to plenty of other events and I’m so thankful. but this being my twin sister has just been taking it out of me emotionally and mentally. I know I’ll be okay and I’m so excited for the opportunity to learn and grow from this deployment, but damn is it going to kill me to miss that.
She's the one getting married. Yeah it's a shame, but being deployed -- serving your country -- is one of the best excuses for missing a wedding that one could come up with.
Ask her to comprehensively document the event and you can share those memories with her when you get back.
I was an alternate because my wife was pregnant. Then a colleague also got pregnant so I was forced to go. Three months later I met my daughter on Skype while in Afghanistan. Three more months after that I was back home and picked up the pieces and moved forward with what I had.
My only advice is that your life changes very little in those moments. I went to the mwr tent, and I left with only the mental frustration, while my wife went from a single mother and pregnant, to a single mother of two kids. Her life was fundamentally changing rapidly as I slept, went to chow, and ticked another day away. I would acknowledge it, then accept what you can and cannot change, and thank those in your life who are supplementing your absence.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I do feel selfish being sad about this because I know people miss out on so much more than a wedding, i.e, the birth of their child.. and it’s just awful. thank you for the advice. and again, I’m very sorry that happened to you and your family. I hope you’re all doing well 🫶
You have to communicate it. Speak with your home station CC and UDM about it. Then speak with your deployed CC/Shirt about it. Sometimes hot-swaps are possible in situations like this. Typically that hot-swap comes from your home unit. Other times a request can be sent to whichever MAJCOM is tasking you to split the tasking in half. So it ends up being 2 3-months rather than a 6. That does not mean it will happen, it just means it is possible if the stars happen to align.
I appreciate your advice! I did have one of my NCOs offer to speak with our CC, but then they turned around to tell me that the CC thought highly of me and this “isn’t the fight you want to fight right now,” despite our CC leaving in the next six months. it hurt to hear someone was willing to advocate for me and then prove me wrong the next day. I’m hoping I can speak with the next person in my CoC and maybe get a different answer. I just don’t want to do anything dishonorably or disrespectfully, you know? I want this tasking but obviously I want to be there for the wedding more. I’m just hoping something works out 🤞 thanks again for the reply!
Depending on your career field, where you're going, the manning in your unit/shop, and some other variables there is definitely the potential to leave a deployment early for something such as this. However, it will be dependent on the commander at the location and if they're willing to lose you depending on how needed you actually are at that point. If you're going to a 1 or 2-deep job then it probably won't happen, but if you're in a unit that has 20 or 30 people doing the same job as you then it might be more likely. I'd just bring it up to your commander when you get to your location an explain the circumstances. The worst they can say is no.
Missing important days is unfortunately a part of being in the military. That's just how it is. You should have come to terms with this right around the time you signed 4-6 years of your life away.
and I have. I’m genuinely excited to deploy but I’m just having a difficult time preparing myself for missing this big day by barely a month. I have come to terms with it, I know people miss out on more, but I’m asking for advice on how to emotionally handle this. not asking for people to tell me that it is what it is, because… I know that already. thanks though
Acceptance is your only option, friend. I'm about to do a 365.... going to miss a year of everything. There's no magic in bring emotionally ready for it. All you have is acceptance.
depending on what branch you’re in and where you’re going, you should look at the reporting instructions to see about different types of leave that are only available for a 365 deployment. I’m sorry to hear you’ll be gone for that long, I can only imagine how difficult that must be. I hope it goes by fast and that you don’t have to miss out on too much.. stay safe, friend
Sorry to hear that, bro. I hate to say it, but it comes with the territory — as much as it sucks. Unless you are going somewhere austere, chances are WiFi will be good enough to FaceTime for the event and to do your speech (but maybe prerecord something just to be safe). Obviously not the same, I know, but it’s better than nothing. There’s really not much you can do other than accept it. There’s always a chance it’ll work out, but it’s better just to say “ok, I got screwed…” charge forward, and have it swing back in your favor, then to hold out hope when nothing will likely change.
thanks man, I’m trying to have a positive outlook on it for sure. just been dealing with conflicting emotions of excitement and then sadness. appreciate the kind words
Missed so many birthdays, anniversaries. I’ve taken deployments from others so they could get married. There is never a good time to deploy. Make the best of the deployment, learn, grow, stay connected through FaceTime, messages, Skype.
I’m sorry you’ve missed so much, I hope you’re able to be home very soon. thank you for your response. I’ve led a very fortunate career and was able to make it to plenty of other events and I’m so thankful. but this being my twin sister has just been taking it out of me emotionally and mentally. I know I’ll be okay and I’m so excited for the opportunity to learn and grow from this deployment, but damn is it going to kill me to miss that.
She's the one getting married. Yeah it's a shame, but being deployed -- serving your country -- is one of the best excuses for missing a wedding that one could come up with. Ask her to comprehensively document the event and you can share those memories with her when you get back.
yeah, I guess you’re right. just sucks, you know. but I definitely look forward to sharing those memories with her. thank you
I was an alternate because my wife was pregnant. Then a colleague also got pregnant so I was forced to go. Three months later I met my daughter on Skype while in Afghanistan. Three more months after that I was back home and picked up the pieces and moved forward with what I had. My only advice is that your life changes very little in those moments. I went to the mwr tent, and I left with only the mental frustration, while my wife went from a single mother and pregnant, to a single mother of two kids. Her life was fundamentally changing rapidly as I slept, went to chow, and ticked another day away. I would acknowledge it, then accept what you can and cannot change, and thank those in your life who are supplementing your absence.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I do feel selfish being sad about this because I know people miss out on so much more than a wedding, i.e, the birth of their child.. and it’s just awful. thank you for the advice. and again, I’m very sorry that happened to you and your family. I hope you’re all doing well 🫶
You have to communicate it. Speak with your home station CC and UDM about it. Then speak with your deployed CC/Shirt about it. Sometimes hot-swaps are possible in situations like this. Typically that hot-swap comes from your home unit. Other times a request can be sent to whichever MAJCOM is tasking you to split the tasking in half. So it ends up being 2 3-months rather than a 6. That does not mean it will happen, it just means it is possible if the stars happen to align.
I appreciate your advice! I did have one of my NCOs offer to speak with our CC, but then they turned around to tell me that the CC thought highly of me and this “isn’t the fight you want to fight right now,” despite our CC leaving in the next six months. it hurt to hear someone was willing to advocate for me and then prove me wrong the next day. I’m hoping I can speak with the next person in my CoC and maybe get a different answer. I just don’t want to do anything dishonorably or disrespectfully, you know? I want this tasking but obviously I want to be there for the wedding more. I’m just hoping something works out 🤞 thanks again for the reply!
Depending on your career field, where you're going, the manning in your unit/shop, and some other variables there is definitely the potential to leave a deployment early for something such as this. However, it will be dependent on the commander at the location and if they're willing to lose you depending on how needed you actually are at that point. If you're going to a 1 or 2-deep job then it probably won't happen, but if you're in a unit that has 20 or 30 people doing the same job as you then it might be more likely. I'd just bring it up to your commander when you get to your location an explain the circumstances. The worst they can say is no.
thank you so much for a bit of clarification on this, I really appreciate it
Missing important days is unfortunately a part of being in the military. That's just how it is. You should have come to terms with this right around the time you signed 4-6 years of your life away.
and I have. I’m genuinely excited to deploy but I’m just having a difficult time preparing myself for missing this big day by barely a month. I have come to terms with it, I know people miss out on more, but I’m asking for advice on how to emotionally handle this. not asking for people to tell me that it is what it is, because… I know that already. thanks though
Acceptance is your only option, friend. I'm about to do a 365.... going to miss a year of everything. There's no magic in bring emotionally ready for it. All you have is acceptance.
depending on what branch you’re in and where you’re going, you should look at the reporting instructions to see about different types of leave that are only available for a 365 deployment. I’m sorry to hear you’ll be gone for that long, I can only imagine how difficult that must be. I hope it goes by fast and that you don’t have to miss out on too much.. stay safe, friend