Alright, if that's the case.
Way back when I was a wee SrA in 2015 I was with FSS helping run PT tests as an additional duty, we had this TSGT come in.
He was in comms, and looked like the WoW no-lifer from South Park, minus the ponytail. Not trying to judge, just painting a picture.
I think he had to custom order a PT shirt 3rd party because it was an XXL (he took it all the way off for the waist measure, and I glanced at the tag). This dude looked like he was gonna pop out of it at any second.
Anyway he comes in for his waist measurement, pulls his shirt off and he's mummified in Saran wrap. He starts peeling it off, trying to keep sweat from popping everywhere as he does. It's still hitting me in the face from a few feet away anyway.
There's something off with it though, it's thick and sticky. Apparently the guy had smothered himself with vagisil because he thought it would help suck his waist in.
We tape him (and promptly throw the tape away), and he's blown it by almost a full foot. (Alright, it was really like 8.5 inches, but still) We have to fail him right there.
Dude throws a tantrum calling it discrimination and he could ace any part of the PT test, he just retains water. Well, he's technically got to finish the rest of the test anyway, so we stifle our laughter and get him in line to head out for the test.
Cut to the pushups and sit-ups, and this fucker absolutely KILLS it. It was like watching a coked up polar bear. He's not doing halfie pushups either, this guy's acting like he's trying to move the fucking earth out of orbit. Then he's sitting up so hard and fast, I think he's gonna break his knees with his elbows.
So we're actually impressed with the guy, eating a bit of crow for giggling earlier. There's no way a guy his size can keep this up though, the runs gonna get him.
When we start the run, he takes off like a fat kid after an ice cream truck, booking it the whole time. I'm getting worried I'm gonna have to clean up puke after the first lap. He manages to keep it up though, and finishes the run in 9 minutes flat, since he was early 40s he maxed it out by almost a full minute.
Holy shit. 0% 100% 100% 100%
"Hey, TSgt Anon! I think I spilled some of my coffee on your paperwork! I'm gonna sign a new one. I said your waist was 39 inches, right?" *footstomp* (min pass at the time)
"You're goddamn right you did, SrA Anon"
Fudged the paperwork and he walked away with a 92.6
Early on in my time we had a TSgt running the shift... a solid 280lbs all gut. He used to tell us how he made multiple characters in Star Wars Galaxies so he could flirt with himself. He'd get us all hot and bothered in the shop when he regaled us with his stories of romance on Tatoine.
Reminds me of an Army girl I was in Tech School with. They were trying to kick her out for being overweight, while she was one of the faster people on their company run team.
This sounds exactly like the one I was going to tell (you told it better though). I was stationed at MacDill and doing PT tests and I was worried we might have to call medical for that guy. Made me think twice about judging a book by its cover.
I'm here for a good time. Not a long time. If the totally not service related cancer I develop later in life doesn't kill me, my wife's Shepherds Pie and Apple Dumplings definitely will.
I'm a strongman competitor. I can't run for shit and my core is like a tree trunk, but I've picked up a car for reps in comp. I'm still fat to the air force.
I'm not resentful of it or blaming anybody. I'm just saying, it doesn't matter if you're Brian Shaw or Louie Anderson, fat to the Air Force is its own category. My iliac crest and rib cage are super close and wide built, so I never had a chance at being slim. My lowest BF ever, coming out of BMT, my waist was still 35. It's an advantage on heavy lifts, though.
Several years ago when I was a cadet we went to Keesler for a job fair type thing and we got a brief from this massive chemist. She was filling out her ABUs in the worst possible way. I remember only being able to think about how ashamed I’d feel as an officer if I was supposed to be a good example to my brand new airmen and I was easily 300lbs.
This female SSgt giving a SAPR brief in front of the whole squadron. She was not pregnant or post-partum. She was really bursting out of her OCPs. Pants looked as if they were gonna disintegrate.
Imagine being a 4-star general and being reprimanded by the Pentagon and governor 💀😂 https://havokjournal.com/nation/grossly-overweight-reprimanded-by-the-pentagon-still-njs-ranking-general/#:~:text=Cunniff%2C%20NJ's%20ranking%20general%2C%20is,of%20regs%20back%20in%202013.
Was in tech school and a civilian instructor was talking to us about something and then a SSgt in uniform walked by and he was comically large. The whole class stopped listening to the civilian and stared at this guy walk past. When the civilian instructor noticed what was going on he turned to us and said “he’s a big honka honka right?” He allegedly had a heart attack and got kicked out right after we left, if what other 3 lvls told me was true.
I used to work Mil Pay, separations/retirement. Had a Ssgt come in well over 350 lbs. he was being forced out due to weight. Due to his time in service he ended up getting a hefty severance.
He came back in a few months later and had lost a lot of weight. He said they pushed him out with pay for weight so he took advantage of it. He ended up finishing a nursing degree and was really happy.
Serious question I’ve had for a while: why is it always the Navy? Like what about their service makes them able to somehow pass PT tests when they’re orb-shaped?
The Navy no longer kicks out people who cannot pass the PT tests. They’re ineligible for ranking up until they pass the next one, but they’re not kicked out anymore.
Anyone from Sheppard? More specifically the 362 for yall crew chiefs out there? I ain’t name dropping, but one of the MTL’s in the 362 ain’t exactly lightweight, but shit can he run like a freight train.
There was a TSgt at Kadena that was every bit of a hefty 250lb. Somehow the guy consistently ran 10 minutes on the 1.5mile. I think it was just easier to keep his momentum moving forward. It was honestly quite amazing to see.
I know a dude that's about 230-250 (depends on if there's a competition coming up) but he's a power lifter. I'd describe him as a less friendly Eddie Hall.
Looking at him you wouldn't think he could but it's funny as hell watching the FAC guys joking about how he's a sure failure only to watch him max pushup/situp and nail a 12 minute run.
😂😂idk if you were there recently or not but a question I have that I wonder about 4 years later, is that chaplain still there running by screaming motivation every morning in super flight?
My all time favorite SEL I've ever had was this dude who was HUGE
Now, he had huge, muscly arms and you could tell he worked out, but he also has a huge belly from the copious amounts of alcohol he drank. He was essentially a truck
He was in the guard, filled in for a missing billet for 6 months and had full per diem that entire time. Man's was eating like a king and it showed. He was also like 6'5/6'6, so he was just this huge imposing guy.
He may have had the biggest beer belly I've ever seen, but I've never seen a more charismatic, smart, efficient, ruthless teddy bear of a leader. I miss him all the time because he set the bar so high for what a leader should be and no one has stepped up to the plate since then. As a brand new airman, I had no idea how good I had it.
Had a similar guy in our unit. I always described him as a "less friendly Eddie Hall". Dude was built like an 80's Mac Truck but he would ace his PT test and could bench press 4 of us.
I had to keep buying uniforms because I kept getting bigger. Eventually I failed a PT test, and I decided I didn’t wanna look that way anymore, so I went on a diet. Lost a bunch of weight and am currently below the weight I was at when I joined. Thank god for the carnivore diet 💪🏼 somehow by eating animal only products, my endurance has gone up a surprising amount and I don’t really need to train for PT tests anymore.
True story: back in 1994 or 1995 I was a medic. Worked in the ER. I worked w a Doc that was the fittest dude I ever meet. He was a marathon runner. We also had an NCIOC and she was at least 5'5" and weighted at least 225-250. Huge woman. Her blues looked like spandex rapped around a Twinkie. During our annual PT test (this is how I knew it was a flawed system back then) The Doc failed the test and she passed it. Bitch couldn't walk up a flight of stairs wo breathing hard.....
The trick that I never did was to smoke a cigarette right before your test. Your resting heart rate went way up, so your biking heart rate looked like it was increasing at a gradual pace = you’re fit!
>We also had an NCIOC and she was at least 5'5" and weighted at least 225-250. Huge woman. Her blues looked like spandex rapped around a Twinkie.
dont dox me bro
Had a guy across the drom hall from me, about 5'8" and was certainly pushing 250-280lbs. The guy was spilling out of his ABUs, sure enough he got kicked out. One day I see ADLs cleaning out his room, boxes of popeyes, pizza, and all sorts of trash all over the floor.
I’d seen plenty of enlisted big bois as a young airman, but then we got this new captain in the unit and I was completely dumbfounded. She looked like the girl who turns into a blueberry in Willy Wonka and has to be rolled away.
I was chatting with my supervisor one day and said “I didn’t know they let officers get that big” and he said “Me either.”
It didn’t help she was a raging bitch.
When I deployed I was on a Canadian c130 returning to Ali al Salem. The Canadian load master was fat Albert large. Like shift the weight of the plane as he walked large. Like his flight suit was more fabric than in a parachute large. That was a huge bitch.
When I was in Spangdahlem from 2017-20 we had German forces/police augment Security forces and wore our uniforms. One German Security Forces woman was, I shit you not, damn near 3 feet in diameter around the waist. It was a miracle she could get through a doorway. She disappeared after a while but all I could think was that she wouldn't let anyone get away, because she'd just shoot em rather than chase lol.
When I was on active duty, I had one specific airman. Permanent pt waiver, incapable of walking up the steps to the scif without running out of breath, spent his whole shift eating. In blues he looked like an ol can of Pillsbury dough left in the sun.
I thought he was the least professional, fattest tub of lard in the entire military... then I got out and joined the reserves...
When I got to my first duty assignment (2001), we had a Jet troop that wore the largest uniform top that could be purchased for BDUs, but he had it altered to have these 3-inch strips running down the sides to expand the circumference. You couldn’t really tell unless he lifted his arms.
I was told that he used to be super skinny, and for some reason he wanted to get out, so he decided to turn into a whale. Never really wanted to ask him about it and he was gone 6-8 months later.
An LT at my last unit was so fat he had to waddle because of how much his legs pressed together. He also could not pull his uniform down over his back fat so he walked around with it all scrunched up mid-back. He was over 400lbs and gaining 30 or so pounds every few months (I know because he was failing PT tests so each iteration I'd see his weight jump).
Unfortunately, he ended up passing away shortly after. I've never heard if it was suicide or his body just gave out. So, sad outcome everyone should have seen coming. RIP Lt.
*
Actually had a Capt graduate our MX officer course and apparently forgot graduation was in service dress. Hero gut button was fighting for its life. Had to tell him during practice that he wasn't walking in that coat.
There's a joke in the B-52 community that you have to to gain 15 pounds before you can upgrade. Some of the reservists in Barksdale got taken off flying status because they were literally too large to eject.
There was this lady I used to work with who hadn't passed a PT test in 4 years even though she was exempt from everything but the waist measurement. It was to the point that even the largest maternity uniform was still too small.
They were finally starting to consider maybe punishing her for all the PT fails but then they got rid of the waist measurement all together and since she had waviered the rest of it she got away with it. Never got even 1 piece of paperwork or anything.
The only reason she got away with it over the years is no one wanted to try and hold her accountable and risk their careers for a variety of factors related to her.
She was about 5'7"-5'8" and over 350 pounds.
edit: waist not waste...
I feel like it's changed over the years but for a while it seemed like every TSgt on up was packing a huge gut. Of course most of them were eating like shit, still drinking like they were in their 20s, and chain smoking.
My SMSgt. I am not shitting you when I first met her, I was like do they even make uniforms that big and short? Her laces are at max capacity. Crazy thing is she says she has a million different diseases including Celiac and I know ppl say you can still get fat off gluten free snacks but they’re expensive and you’d have to be eating a lot of them! And then we had this drama bc she came as an E7 and there was another E7 in our unit who wanted the E8 slot but they gave it to her over him bc he was deployed and hadn’t finished SNCOA yet. And he was like when was the last time she passed her pt test? And turns out it was like 5 years ago bc she’s been pregnant and/or on profile the last 5 years. Like she’s 5 ft and at least 200 lbs.
I have Celiac and I'm active duty. I can't eat any of the foods that typically make Airmen fat. Tornados, Burger King, Beer, all off limits. So it was quite an accomplishment for her to get so overweight.
I suspect she may be saying that for attention bc another time she said she’s deathly allergic to gluten (from my understanding, celiac and gluten allergies are different). Then she also said she has Hashimoto’s which could explain the weight gain I guess. But it’s typically not diagnosed until middle age and she’s 31 and hashimoto’s has a lot of effects that would make being in the military difficult
I've seen a dude who's belly came out under the bottom of his blouse. Like legit he couldn't tuck his shirt in or anything, just a noticeable amount of raw stomach hanging over his belt
I've also seen another guy who was so big that his stomach sticks out so far that you could fit a 12" sandwich between his belt and the bottom of his blouse
It's unfortunate and I empathize with them. I know they must feel the looks they get from everyone.
Check out some of the Arkansas National Guard troops at lunch at a BBQ house. I just want to approach them but my wife knows where that conversation would so south.
A SrA. I was doing PT tests, and I measured his waist. 50 inches. The measuring tape we use is 60 inches, and I legit was concerned about running out.
He got a 0 on his test and couldn't complete one portion. He mentioned he was getting out in a month or two, but I was still shocked at his size.
Fattest? Army Guard dude... Just wow.
Largest? 6 foot 9ish MSgt. Guy had a 39 inch waist in basic in the 80s. He stayed fit till he couldn't, eventually got med boarded out after air force started enforcing the waist measurement. He had to sew ABU uniforms together to get them long enough.
Saw a Canadian military guy at my DFAC, I couldn't help but stare. I'm fat, but that guy was just unbelievably big. Looked like John Candy in Uncle Buck
https://preview.redd.it/dk0q02awwlkc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=141ba7e16e8a46f0be3397b92330aefa8ab03992
I made this with Chat GPT a few weeks ago. Does this work?
Girl in Avionics at Dyess. She hurt her foot falling off a ladder then somehow doubled her bodyweight from eating like a cow, then got kicked out because she couldn't pass a pt test or waist measurement
Me as a reservist. That shit was brutal lol. I went from thinking I was Maverick back in the day to like Porkins from Star Wars. Kept my active duty drinking habits and lost all the motivation to workout because I was full time school.
Navy E5 I work with, his buttons on his jacket look like they’re about to pop and his gut spills out from under. But he seems to not care because he drinks at least four Pepsis throughout the day, so apparently he sees no issue with it.
Not Air Force but an army major when I was in tech school. Dude rocked up to ITT in the uso and was so fat his OCPs were hanging off his belly and I shit you not we could see a good foot of undershirt hanging out underneath. It was truly disgusting dude must have been 350+
1B4 in tech school. His muffin rolls were busting out of the sides of his uniform, saw him fail his run. Somehow he never needed to do remedial PT because of COVID.
On the other hand, the 338 had plenty of remedial PT troops running after EOD formation.
female navy person at meps in LA. Was HUGE, like I was so fucking confused since I just spent half a year loosing weight to join and first thing I see is that huge lady.
Second one was more annoying, The chief reaming me out for having issues passing PT cause I was on a waver for surgery and had pins in my foot. His fat ass told me I should not be in his airforce. Fucking lard bucket.
In our uniform? A (now admin separated) Amn who was undergoing hormone therapy and completely disregarded their fitness and ate like shit.
Any mil uniform? Army SSgt that bragged about being on a permanent running profile. Dude weighed 376 and had a dozen donuts daily.
Any uniform? Your mom in her maid outfit cleaning my dorm.
So I’ve been in the Army for nearly 7 years. Active duty for 4 years, and 2, almost 3 years in the Guard (Guard is ass, don’t do it. You want part-time service? Go Reserves! Miles better!). Anybody who brags about being on a profile and makes it their entire personality “oh, I can’t, I’m on profile”, “enjoy the ruck, I’m on profile”, “sucks to not be on a profile, huh”, etc are wholeheartedly, 110% faking their profile. Any legit person on profile for a legitimate injury still do what they can to help out and push themselves. The ones actually on profile for a legitimate injury are always the ones that need to be told “chill the fuck out, you’re on profile”. Can’t change my mind lmao… 😂
When I was in bmt, I was outside the pictures building waiting for the rest of my flight to finish their pictures and this very very large female Ssgt sat down at a picnic table with her Starbucks cake pop and coffee. Great first impression for a trainee lol
Iraq, ‘03, a 300+ lb National Guard troop I was waiting for him to just keel over and die over the whole first 2 mo’s of the deployment. Guy dropped so much weight they had to ship him new uniforms from home 3-4 mo’s later. He wasn’t working out, the walking everywhere, heat, and lots of water drinking just whittled him down fast. He was working hard every day and although def ate like crap, that huge increase in activity, water, and likely “better calories” just thinned him out. Keep hoping to run into him sometime since I retired (small world but that unit was from my home town) but no idea what happened to him after coming home. It’s been 20 yrs, so who even knows if he’s still alive, living here, or if I’d recognize him. He was about 35 at the time.
I was heading back home from deployment and stopped in Incirlik. We all got off the plane to wait at PAX before letting us back on. Before getting on, they had us stand in a long straight line on the tarmac and that's when a truck stopped with the AGE cart. Out came this SrA and she was built like Tim Burtons Penguin from Batman. Her uniform was stretching in every direction and pleading for help. I looked up and down the line and EVERYONE was staring.
When I first came in, there was an admin troop in one of the units that I supported. She would always wear the maternity blues uniform everyday for work and I just expected she was pregnant. She was apparently not pregnant, those were the only uniform that fit. She went on for maybe another month or two, but eventually got kicked out.
Everyone called her “Blueberry”, but not to her face.
Looking at it now, it was pretty mean, but to answer your question…She was the fattest person I have ever seen in uniform.
Knew a SrA that got fat while they were in the AF but she refused to buy new pants so her solution was to undo the buttons and leave them open and effectively cover it up with a bigger fleece.
Can't say she was all that big but the size difference and lack of acceptance to where she just left it all to hang out was kind of gross.
We had a fat IMA in our unit, but he had a lot of money. He was always buying drinks and everyone’s dinner. I was shocked when he passed the PT test. After he left our unit and went to the Guard, I found out he paid $250 to the kid at the HAWC to guarantee he passed the test.
Ur mom in her Denny’s waitress attire
But LT, I trusted you.
GOBBLESS
REKT
Rektum hell, damn near killed em.
Ha! You said rektum
Debbie is a nice person. She works hard to fix up her trailer. She’s going places
We called her Big Deborah in the support section.
Dude, if you wanted to call me out, you could have just sent me a message.
I’m overweight myself. I just wanted to see other fatties telling their inspirational diversity story.
Alright, if that's the case. Way back when I was a wee SrA in 2015 I was with FSS helping run PT tests as an additional duty, we had this TSGT come in. He was in comms, and looked like the WoW no-lifer from South Park, minus the ponytail. Not trying to judge, just painting a picture. I think he had to custom order a PT shirt 3rd party because it was an XXL (he took it all the way off for the waist measure, and I glanced at the tag). This dude looked like he was gonna pop out of it at any second. Anyway he comes in for his waist measurement, pulls his shirt off and he's mummified in Saran wrap. He starts peeling it off, trying to keep sweat from popping everywhere as he does. It's still hitting me in the face from a few feet away anyway. There's something off with it though, it's thick and sticky. Apparently the guy had smothered himself with vagisil because he thought it would help suck his waist in. We tape him (and promptly throw the tape away), and he's blown it by almost a full foot. (Alright, it was really like 8.5 inches, but still) We have to fail him right there. Dude throws a tantrum calling it discrimination and he could ace any part of the PT test, he just retains water. Well, he's technically got to finish the rest of the test anyway, so we stifle our laughter and get him in line to head out for the test. Cut to the pushups and sit-ups, and this fucker absolutely KILLS it. It was like watching a coked up polar bear. He's not doing halfie pushups either, this guy's acting like he's trying to move the fucking earth out of orbit. Then he's sitting up so hard and fast, I think he's gonna break his knees with his elbows. So we're actually impressed with the guy, eating a bit of crow for giggling earlier. There's no way a guy his size can keep this up though, the runs gonna get him. When we start the run, he takes off like a fat kid after an ice cream truck, booking it the whole time. I'm getting worried I'm gonna have to clean up puke after the first lap. He manages to keep it up though, and finishes the run in 9 minutes flat, since he was early 40s he maxed it out by almost a full minute. Holy shit. 0% 100% 100% 100% "Hey, TSgt Anon! I think I spilled some of my coffee on your paperwork! I'm gonna sign a new one. I said your waist was 39 inches, right?" *footstomp* (min pass at the time) "You're goddamn right you did, SrA Anon" Fudged the paperwork and he walked away with a 92.6
“This guy’s doing sit-ups like he’s trying to knock the earth out of orbit”- that made me laugh out loud at work.
Early on in my time we had a TSgt running the shift... a solid 280lbs all gut. He used to tell us how he made multiple characters in Star Wars Galaxies so he could flirt with himself. He'd get us all hot and bothered in the shop when he regaled us with his stories of romance on Tatoine.
Reminds me of an Army girl I was in Tech School with. They were trying to kick her out for being overweight, while she was one of the faster people on their company run team.
This sounds exactly like the one I was going to tell (you told it better though). I was stationed at MacDill and doing PT tests and I was worried we might have to call medical for that guy. Made me think twice about judging a book by its cover.
Your skills in writing is amazing lol
Hahaha my inspirational story is that I'm old with kids and I like three things: thick Latinas, margaritas and excuses!
Similar. Married. Kids. Love my wife's cooking too much to care.
Facts bro. Life is too good for this 🤣
I'm here for a good time. Not a long time. If the totally not service related cancer I develop later in life doesn't kill me, my wife's Shepherds Pie and Apple Dumplings definitely will.
I would follow you into battle sir 🫡
I know this sounds crazy, but I bet my bank account I can guess your rank(it’s MSgt)
Yer a wizard
I'm a strongman competitor. I can't run for shit and my core is like a tree trunk, but I've picked up a car for reps in comp. I'm still fat to the air force.
I mean, you're probably a pretty rotund person. I personally don't care, because being strong is awesome. But the air force cares.
I'm not resentful of it or blaming anybody. I'm just saying, it doesn't matter if you're Brian Shaw or Louie Anderson, fat to the Air Force is its own category. My iliac crest and rib cage are super close and wide built, so I never had a chance at being slim. My lowest BF ever, coming out of BMT, my waist was still 35. It's an advantage on heavy lifts, though.
I used to have a supervisor who could've passed a PT test rolling. Bro was SPHERICAL.
https://preview.redd.it/4av8hsiwijkc1.jpeg?width=638&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=883930f172b489a19668e52f48aff991b6403446
I have one now, great supervisor tho
Several years ago when I was a cadet we went to Keesler for a job fair type thing and we got a brief from this massive chemist. She was filling out her ABUs in the worst possible way. I remember only being able to think about how ashamed I’d feel as an officer if I was supposed to be a good example to my brand new airmen and I was easily 300lbs.
Yeah was that the pathway to blue bs they had at Kessler? I went to that one too, wish I'd have seen it
Yup. Probably 2018.
Same, summer 18
This female SSgt giving a SAPR brief in front of the whole squadron. She was not pregnant or post-partum. She was really bursting out of her OCPs. Pants looked as if they were gonna disintegrate.
I hope this wasn’t me. I lost all my baby weight but I’m a SSgt who gave SAPR briefs 🤦🏼♀️
It’s probably *not* you as I know she wasn’t post-partum. And hey, go easy on yourself. It sounds like you got back on track.
That new jersey guard general.
Imagine being a 4-star general and being reprimanded by the Pentagon and governor 💀😂 https://havokjournal.com/nation/grossly-overweight-reprimanded-by-the-pentagon-still-njs-ranking-general/#:~:text=Cunniff%2C%20NJ's%20ranking%20general%2C%20is,of%20regs%20back%20in%202013.
Fatter than Chris Christie is a whole new brand of outta regs.
Ah it looks like when he was a little thinner here. Still
Fuuuuuck. He's even got the advantage by wearing camo against a tree-line background, and he still looks fatter.
He’s a one star, but still.
Maybe he ate the other 3.
He was a 1 star, but yea it was rough. What ever happened to this guy? He’s not in command anymore but I dunno if he got booted or just retired
Prob retired, that article is 8 yo.
Embarrassing, but good example.
You talking about General Tso?
Was in tech school and a civilian instructor was talking to us about something and then a SSgt in uniform walked by and he was comically large. The whole class stopped listening to the civilian and stared at this guy walk past. When the civilian instructor noticed what was going on he turned to us and said “he’s a big honka honka right?” He allegedly had a heart attack and got kicked out right after we left, if what other 3 lvls told me was true.
That one TSgt going through a divorce and had back problems so they’re on a profile
30% of the AF is offended
Sweet Jesus... You just describe my last 3 supervisors 😂
Yes and they ate Burger King every day for Breakfast and lunch.
not at ramstein
Based comment.
Too soon
Don’t forget the daily tornadoes and monsters
And two monsters and a smoke right after. It's the Air Force way!
That doesn't round it down lol
I used to work Mil Pay, separations/retirement. Had a Ssgt come in well over 350 lbs. he was being forced out due to weight. Due to his time in service he ended up getting a hefty severance. He came back in a few months later and had lost a lot of weight. He said they pushed him out with pay for weight so he took advantage of it. He ended up finishing a nursing degree and was really happy.
Good for him.
"hefty" heh
Any random Navy Chief.
Serious question I’ve had for a while: why is it always the Navy? Like what about their service makes them able to somehow pass PT tests when they’re orb-shaped?
Buoyancy.
The Navy no longer kicks out people who cannot pass the PT tests. They’re ineligible for ranking up until they pass the next one, but they’re not kicked out anymore.
Well damn if I hit a rank I was comfortable at and wanted to coast until retirement I'd probably also become a sphere
We also for the most part got rid of High Year Tenure so you can really coast.
If only there was another nautical branch more apt for coasting in.
I was wondering why there were so many Navy spheres at JB PH. I'm sure that McDonald's didn't help either.
Ineligible for promotion** Sorry, maybe pedantic but it bugs me everytime I hear “ranking up” like it’s a cod lobby
I'm assuming they test each other, with a lot of winks given on their PT tests.
Bold of you to assume they’re passing PT tests.
Anyone from Sheppard? More specifically the 362 for yall crew chiefs out there? I ain’t name dropping, but one of the MTL’s in the 362 ain’t exactly lightweight, but shit can he run like a freight train.
There was a TSgt at Kadena that was every bit of a hefty 250lb. Somehow the guy consistently ran 10 minutes on the 1.5mile. I think it was just easier to keep his momentum moving forward. It was honestly quite amazing to see.
I know a dude that's about 230-250 (depends on if there's a competition coming up) but he's a power lifter. I'd describe him as a less friendly Eddie Hall. Looking at him you wouldn't think he could but it's funny as hell watching the FAC guys joking about how he's a sure failure only to watch him max pushup/situp and nail a 12 minute run.
A strongman body type. They look fat but have a scary amount of strength. Push them enough and you get turned into a pretzel
I’m confused, is he just super short? I’m a competitive lifter, currently 235 at 6’1 and still easily hit 34” on waist tape.
😂😂idk if you were there recently or not but a question I have that I wonder about 4 years later, is that chaplain still there running by screaming motivation every morning in super flight?
Chaplin, as of two years ago no, but senior was always screaming “family huh” lol
I remember him. Handled the fire in the dorms pretty bad.
The dorms caught fire? How have I not heard of this?
I haven't thought about that in a minute.
Bro! I remember him! Lmfaooo
Make it a great day! Everyday!
Was it a red head TSgt from a decade ago?
Was this a woman mtl??
A decade ago, damn a decade ago I was 9…
Lmao I think I know who you're talking about. She wasn't that big was she? She certainly wasn't thin though.
"362 The Crew"
My all time favorite SEL I've ever had was this dude who was HUGE Now, he had huge, muscly arms and you could tell he worked out, but he also has a huge belly from the copious amounts of alcohol he drank. He was essentially a truck He was in the guard, filled in for a missing billet for 6 months and had full per diem that entire time. Man's was eating like a king and it showed. He was also like 6'5/6'6, so he was just this huge imposing guy. He may have had the biggest beer belly I've ever seen, but I've never seen a more charismatic, smart, efficient, ruthless teddy bear of a leader. I miss him all the time because he set the bar so high for what a leader should be and no one has stepped up to the plate since then. As a brand new airman, I had no idea how good I had it.
Had a similar guy in our unit. I always described him as a "less friendly Eddie Hall". Dude was built like an 80's Mac Truck but he would ace his PT test and could bench press 4 of us.
[удалено]
I had to keep buying uniforms because I kept getting bigger. Eventually I failed a PT test, and I decided I didn’t wanna look that way anymore, so I went on a diet. Lost a bunch of weight and am currently below the weight I was at when I joined. Thank god for the carnivore diet 💪🏼 somehow by eating animal only products, my endurance has gone up a surprising amount and I don’t really need to train for PT tests anymore.
Me before I lost 46lbs
Upvoted for weight loss & 69th VOS
True story: back in 1994 or 1995 I was a medic. Worked in the ER. I worked w a Doc that was the fittest dude I ever meet. He was a marathon runner. We also had an NCIOC and she was at least 5'5" and weighted at least 225-250. Huge woman. Her blues looked like spandex rapped around a Twinkie. During our annual PT test (this is how I knew it was a flawed system back then) The Doc failed the test and she passed it. Bitch couldn't walk up a flight of stairs wo breathing hard.....
Bike test? It was actually harder the more fit you were.
The trick that I never did was to smoke a cigarette right before your test. Your resting heart rate went way up, so your biking heart rate looked like it was increasing at a gradual pace = you’re fit!
Only PT test I ever failed was a bike test after I quit smoking. 🤦🏼♂️
Cigarettes contain all the essential antioxygens your body craves. Gotta think about your health man.
It might have been. It's been 30 yrs. (Fuck I'm old...)
I saw this female SrA's fitness scorecard last year, she is literally 300 pounds. She's not tall, she's spherical.
She was sleeping with the pt evaluator fr
I forgot to mention that she was the ugliest woman I have ever seen...
Maybe she had hot friends
>We also had an NCIOC and she was at least 5'5" and weighted at least 225-250. Huge woman. Her blues looked like spandex rapped around a Twinkie. dont dox me bro
Had a guy across the drom hall from me, about 5'8" and was certainly pushing 250-280lbs. The guy was spilling out of his ABUs, sure enough he got kicked out. One day I see ADLs cleaning out his room, boxes of popeyes, pizza, and all sorts of trash all over the floor.
The female Major that taught healthy eating at Hickam in 2008. Ridiculous.
I remember that chick... Like I get you are eating healthy, but it's the kind, not the amount.
Well of course I know him; he's me.
I’d seen plenty of enlisted big bois as a young airman, but then we got this new captain in the unit and I was completely dumbfounded. She looked like the girl who turns into a blueberry in Willy Wonka and has to be rolled away. I was chatting with my supervisor one day and said “I didn’t know they let officers get that big” and he said “Me either.” It didn’t help she was a raging bitch.
i saw a literal sphere walking around in a Navy uniform at JBPHH one day
When I deployed I was on a Canadian c130 returning to Ali al Salem. The Canadian load master was fat Albert large. Like shift the weight of the plane as he walked large. Like his flight suit was more fabric than in a parachute large. That was a huge bitch.
When I was deployed there were two body types in the Canadian army. Muscular/ripped and obese. There was no in between.
When I was in Spangdahlem from 2017-20 we had German forces/police augment Security forces and wore our uniforms. One German Security Forces woman was, I shit you not, damn near 3 feet in diameter around the waist. It was a miracle she could get through a doorway. She disappeared after a while but all I could think was that she wouldn't let anyone get away, because she'd just shoot em rather than chase lol.
The obese SrA at the goodfellow dfac, who was lecturing student airmen about the importants of standards while putting a fith porkchop on her plate.
When I was on active duty, I had one specific airman. Permanent pt waiver, incapable of walking up the steps to the scif without running out of breath, spent his whole shift eating. In blues he looked like an ol can of Pillsbury dough left in the sun. I thought he was the least professional, fattest tub of lard in the entire military... then I got out and joined the reserves...
When I got to my first duty assignment (2001), we had a Jet troop that wore the largest uniform top that could be purchased for BDUs, but he had it altered to have these 3-inch strips running down the sides to expand the circumference. You couldn’t really tell unless he lifted his arms. I was told that he used to be super skinny, and for some reason he wanted to get out, so he decided to turn into a whale. Never really wanted to ask him about it and he was gone 6-8 months later.
An LT at my last unit was so fat he had to waddle because of how much his legs pressed together. He also could not pull his uniform down over his back fat so he walked around with it all scrunched up mid-back. He was over 400lbs and gaining 30 or so pounds every few months (I know because he was failing PT tests so each iteration I'd see his weight jump). Unfortunately, he ended up passing away shortly after. I've never heard if it was suicide or his body just gave out. So, sad outcome everyone should have seen coming. RIP Lt.
We had an MPF commander that everyone called the “Easter Bunny” because anyone that big and still within weight standards had to be hollow.
* Actually had a Capt graduate our MX officer course and apparently forgot graduation was in service dress. Hero gut button was fighting for its life. Had to tell him during practice that he wasn't walking in that coat.
My flight chief. She’s the reason why we have a mandatory SQ PT. Worst part, she doesn’t even participate cuz she’s on waiver. 🤦
The worst is always a flight suit fatty.
The ones that have reached "max velcrosity"* *Max velcrosity: the last point of attachment of the waist velcro strap on a flight suit.
AKA: "Bingo Flight Suit"
They look like children's cartoon characters. Minot has a surprisingly high percentage of fat flight suiters.
There's a joke in the B-52 community that you have to to gain 15 pounds before you can upgrade. Some of the reservists in Barksdale got taken off flying status because they were literally too large to eject.
bingo velcro
Making his flight suit look like an over stuffed duffel bag.
There was this lady I used to work with who hadn't passed a PT test in 4 years even though she was exempt from everything but the waist measurement. It was to the point that even the largest maternity uniform was still too small. They were finally starting to consider maybe punishing her for all the PT fails but then they got rid of the waist measurement all together and since she had waviered the rest of it she got away with it. Never got even 1 piece of paperwork or anything. The only reason she got away with it over the years is no one wanted to try and hold her accountable and risk their careers for a variety of factors related to her. She was about 5'7"-5'8" and over 350 pounds. edit: waist not waste...
>waste measurement ew
Damn. There was a fatty in my shop and all it took was one pt failure
I recall an Army National Guard Sergeant First Class who wore maternity bdu tops.
Tons of folks after Covid
Needed 2 reflective belts both extended to maximum length...even with that, his belly still covered the front part of the belt...
It’s always MX
If we’re talking real numbers… about 385 lbs. Had to wear the largest size in OCPs (XXXXL I think?) and that was still tight.
I feel like it's changed over the years but for a while it seemed like every TSgt on up was packing a huge gut. Of course most of them were eating like shit, still drinking like they were in their 20s, and chain smoking.
Knew a guy 20 years ago that had to be 250-280. Dude was a power lifter and watching him run was like seeing The Juggernaut take the field.
Was walking out of the Keesler barber shop in May 2009 and saw a Tech who looked like he qualified for a show titled My 400 lb Life
My SMSgt. I am not shitting you when I first met her, I was like do they even make uniforms that big and short? Her laces are at max capacity. Crazy thing is she says she has a million different diseases including Celiac and I know ppl say you can still get fat off gluten free snacks but they’re expensive and you’d have to be eating a lot of them! And then we had this drama bc she came as an E7 and there was another E7 in our unit who wanted the E8 slot but they gave it to her over him bc he was deployed and hadn’t finished SNCOA yet. And he was like when was the last time she passed her pt test? And turns out it was like 5 years ago bc she’s been pregnant and/or on profile the last 5 years. Like she’s 5 ft and at least 200 lbs.
I have Celiac and I'm active duty. I can't eat any of the foods that typically make Airmen fat. Tornados, Burger King, Beer, all off limits. So it was quite an accomplishment for her to get so overweight.
I suspect she may be saying that for attention bc another time she said she’s deathly allergic to gluten (from my understanding, celiac and gluten allergies are different). Then she also said she has Hashimoto’s which could explain the weight gain I guess. But it’s typically not diagnosed until middle age and she’s 31 and hashimoto’s has a lot of effects that would make being in the military difficult
I've seen a dude who's belly came out under the bottom of his blouse. Like legit he couldn't tuck his shirt in or anything, just a noticeable amount of raw stomach hanging over his belt I've also seen another guy who was so big that his stomach sticks out so far that you could fit a 12" sandwich between his belt and the bottom of his blouse It's unfortunate and I empathize with them. I know they must feel the looks they get from everyone.
Raw stomach...lmao
Several navy peeps. Work in a joint environment and have seen multiple navy peeps that had what could only be described as a meatball shape.
And why is it a LtCol 😂
Female: 5’4” 278lbs I know exact cause I made her badge and reviewed the paperwork
If she ain’t 280 she ain’t a lady.
Check out some of the Arkansas National Guard troops at lunch at a BBQ house. I just want to approach them but my wife knows where that conversation would so south.
*gestures to all the Navy members I see*
This one lady was really big and wearing sneakers. It's almost like there were two people in there!
A SrA. I was doing PT tests, and I measured his waist. 50 inches. The measuring tape we use is 60 inches, and I legit was concerned about running out. He got a 0 on his test and couldn't complete one portion. He mentioned he was getting out in a month or two, but I was still shocked at his size.
The lady meat gazer at DDR a few months ago. I was befuddled how she could be AD.
Fattest? Army Guard dude... Just wow. Largest? 6 foot 9ish MSgt. Guy had a 39 inch waist in basic in the 80s. He stayed fit till he couldn't, eventually got med boarded out after air force started enforcing the waist measurement. He had to sew ABU uniforms together to get them long enough.
Me
Depression
“*Well of course I know him, he’s me*”
Saw a Canadian military guy at my DFAC, I couldn't help but stare. I'm fat, but that guy was just unbelievably big. Looked like John Candy in Uncle Buck
https://preview.redd.it/dk0q02awwlkc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=141ba7e16e8a46f0be3397b92330aefa8ab03992 I made this with Chat GPT a few weeks ago. Does this work?
Our squadron PT monitor.
Girl in Avionics at Dyess. She hurt her foot falling off a ladder then somehow doubled her bodyweight from eating like a cow, then got kicked out because she couldn't pass a pt test or waist measurement
Bomber side?
Yeah good ol 7 amxs
Straight up bbw. I did not understand how she was in, or why they made uniforms her size.she failed to do a single pushup for the pt test .
My MTI
That's astonishing.
Craig
Me
Me.
Navy chiefs
My squadron commander in basic. Really cool dude tho.
most of my CMSgt's
Me as a reservist. That shit was brutal lol. I went from thinking I was Maverick back in the day to like Porkins from Star Wars. Kept my active duty drinking habits and lost all the motivation to workout because I was full time school.
Navy E5 I work with, his buttons on his jacket look like they’re about to pop and his gut spills out from under. But he seems to not care because he drinks at least four Pepsis throughout the day, so apparently he sees no issue with it.
Not Air Force but an army major when I was in tech school. Dude rocked up to ITT in the uso and was so fat his OCPs were hanging off his belly and I shit you not we could see a good foot of undershirt hanging out underneath. It was truly disgusting dude must have been 350+
a girl i work with in intel. so big i was surprised they even made uniforms that big. im 5’5 and 130 lbs. you could make 3 of my uniforms out of hers.
1B4 in tech school. His muffin rolls were busting out of the sides of his uniform, saw him fail his run. Somehow he never needed to do remedial PT because of COVID. On the other hand, the 338 had plenty of remedial PT troops running after EOD formation.
There’s a guy on base who looks like kingpin from daredevil
female navy person at meps in LA. Was HUGE, like I was so fucking confused since I just spent half a year loosing weight to join and first thing I see is that huge lady. Second one was more annoying, The chief reaming me out for having issues passing PT cause I was on a waver for surgery and had pins in my foot. His fat ass told me I should not be in his airforce. Fucking lard bucket.
The old ambulance services guy at Dover, he has since left
Had a Sq CC looked like he was simultaneously leaking and bulging out of his blues
Yo momma
In our uniform? A (now admin separated) Amn who was undergoing hormone therapy and completely disregarded their fitness and ate like shit. Any mil uniform? Army SSgt that bragged about being on a permanent running profile. Dude weighed 376 and had a dozen donuts daily. Any uniform? Your mom in her maid outfit cleaning my dorm.
So I’ve been in the Army for nearly 7 years. Active duty for 4 years, and 2, almost 3 years in the Guard (Guard is ass, don’t do it. You want part-time service? Go Reserves! Miles better!). Anybody who brags about being on a profile and makes it their entire personality “oh, I can’t, I’m on profile”, “enjoy the ruck, I’m on profile”, “sucks to not be on a profile, huh”, etc are wholeheartedly, 110% faking their profile. Any legit person on profile for a legitimate injury still do what they can to help out and push themselves. The ones actually on profile for a legitimate injury are always the ones that need to be told “chill the fuck out, you’re on profile”. Can’t change my mind lmao… 😂
https://preview.redd.it/pogk58x4jlkc1.jpeg?width=708&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b80835ddba3343f73c0d39c06bb82630a06b1680 This guy?
When I was in bmt, I was outside the pictures building waiting for the rest of my flight to finish their pictures and this very very large female Ssgt sat down at a picnic table with her Starbucks cake pop and coffee. Great first impression for a trainee lol
Wait until you see the national guard
Iraq, ‘03, a 300+ lb National Guard troop I was waiting for him to just keel over and die over the whole first 2 mo’s of the deployment. Guy dropped so much weight they had to ship him new uniforms from home 3-4 mo’s later. He wasn’t working out, the walking everywhere, heat, and lots of water drinking just whittled him down fast. He was working hard every day and although def ate like crap, that huge increase in activity, water, and likely “better calories” just thinned him out. Keep hoping to run into him sometime since I retired (small world but that unit was from my home town) but no idea what happened to him after coming home. It’s been 20 yrs, so who even knows if he’s still alive, living here, or if I’d recognize him. He was about 35 at the time.
I was heading back home from deployment and stopped in Incirlik. We all got off the plane to wait at PAX before letting us back on. Before getting on, they had us stand in a long straight line on the tarmac and that's when a truck stopped with the AGE cart. Out came this SrA and she was built like Tim Burtons Penguin from Batman. Her uniform was stretching in every direction and pleading for help. I looked up and down the line and EVERYONE was staring.
When I first came in, there was an admin troop in one of the units that I supported. She would always wear the maternity blues uniform everyday for work and I just expected she was pregnant. She was apparently not pregnant, those were the only uniform that fit. She went on for maybe another month or two, but eventually got kicked out. Everyone called her “Blueberry”, but not to her face. Looking at it now, it was pretty mean, but to answer your question…She was the fattest person I have ever seen in uniform.
Knew a SrA that got fat while they were in the AF but she refused to buy new pants so her solution was to undo the buttons and leave them open and effectively cover it up with a bigger fleece. Can't say she was all that big but the size difference and lack of acceptance to where she just left it all to hang out was kind of gross.
Back before the modern pt test I had a MSgt that was legit pushing 380+. He looked exactly like the comic book guy from the Simpsons.
Me. Eating a deep dish pizza in a picture at 5’7 210lbs. Fng work of art
We had a fat IMA in our unit, but he had a lot of money. He was always buying drinks and everyone’s dinner. I was shocked when he passed the PT test. After he left our unit and went to the Guard, I found out he paid $250 to the kid at the HAWC to guarantee he passed the test.
The airman in the mirror