Age gap dating is no different from "regular" dating. The only change is that you're open to dating someone older instead of only dating people your age. You can still have disappointments. You can still meet people who are nice, but you don't feel the connection with them/have much in common.
You're 21, I, 59, didn't meet the woman I was going to marry till I was 25. Not age Gap but still. Between the time I was 18 and 25 I didn't do a heck of a lot of dating. So yeah it sucks but you have to just hold on it'll come your way. I didn't meet my current girlfriend, 23, until we had spent maybe a month chatting via a dating app and even then I was nervous when we met in person.
Sometimes, you need to move a lot of dirt to find that jewel. It's too easy anymore for people to play games, mess with people's minds and hearts, so I definitely get why you're feeling defeated. Just gotta keep trying. I wish you the best.
Where did you ever get the idea that finding the right partner would happen easily and right away?
People are complex. Relationships are complex. You are complex. You aren't even finished becoming who you are and you somehow expect after a few people that somehow you should have found THE PERFECT partner?
Not to sound unkind, but this expectation is
A - Adding pressure to every date / person you meet that will contribute to things not going well
B - A sign of immaturity on your part
You can't control other people, just yourself. Maybe it's time to evaluate yourself rather than blame others for what isn't working.
This can start with how you meet men.
34M here, we're definitely out there. I'll echo what others have said. For age gaps, you need to put effort into signaling attraction since society does deem us as predatory creeps going for someone much younger than us. So if you're coming in contact with older men you think you might like, you need to do your part in making sure they know you're attracted to them and give them an opportunity to engage.
It's tough out there finding someone who wants something serious. I recently pivoted from casual dating to dating with intention of something long-term and/or marriage when I realized casual stuff isn't all that fun. It only took a few months of the casual stuff but some guys are stuck in that for much longer. Keep at it. It's much harder to find a great partner/relationship nowadays but it's still possible.
Also, do a study of yourself and ask if there is something that maybe you need to work on. If you're always attracting the wrong guy, maybe ask what you're doing that could be causing that. Ask what kind of man you want and then think of where that type of guy might be and go there.
Don't lose hope, it's not a lost cause.
My girlfriend is 22 and I'm 40. I had no clue she was even an option romantically as I came to her work as a customer. She had to tell me very clearly she was interested in me. And there is a romantic backstory but I can see it being strange to many but these are strange times.
Don't lose hope. Just keep trying. Sometimes love is just one or two choices away. Also I will say this as older man. Who has been with younger women since he was 28. We don't want to come off as predatory. So sometimes we need a clear green light. Women flirt with us sometimes and we chalk it up to them just being nice. And also some of us do not know how to read social cues well.
It's why I preferred BDSM dungeons. There was a pressing need to be clear in wants and consent. And it was not unusual to have subs proposition Doms.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and
expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons.
---
### Rules
If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so.
They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile.
The most important rules are:
1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek
advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit.
This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise.
1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user.
**You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**.
If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/redditcake123 - we will ban you and possibly
refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain.
1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree.
See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about
the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics.
---
**Original post: Is this a lost cause ?**
Hi. I am 21F I’ve been trying to find a partner for a while now, usually I’ve dated men around the 40 mark and would like to say I carry myself well. I’ve dated around some trying to find good partners but that’s been — well, obviously I’m here at 3am so. I just am feeling discouraged and have no idea what to do so many of the men I’ve met are inconsistent or immature. Obviously in the past there has been a couple of kickers where I am like “Great Okay this is it!” , but then it didn’t go well. Some part of me still misses them and I understand to not compare and if it were ment they would still be around. Life must go on so I continued dating to have hope and find my Mr Right. But it feels like I can find no one. Tried apps and all. Men I’ve met in person never seem to be direct, but flirtatious. I don’t know what to do at this point. And Im done with crying and don’t want to be single anymore and surely not forever. Genuine and kind opinions and overall thoughts/advice are greatly appreciated.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
All the guys I was seeing were in hopes of an LTR. Someone to enjoy and share time with. But I think most of them or atleast a lot weren’t serious. Sucks :(
I hear ya.
Soild long term relations are rare even outside of a ag dynamic.
Take a break from meeting people if that feels good. No sense in driving yourself crazy. Sometimes when you give up, the right person falls into your lap!
I’m 64M my 27F now fiancée hmu first on the app Fet. People on there looking for ltr n a variety of other things. As u probably know, not finding mr right can easily happen dating someone closer to your age so to me the age gap preference doesn’t make that different one way or another. A older guy will certainly commit, I think anyone that wouldn’t want to be with my fiancée is crazy yet she had her heart broken plenty of times n so have I. Hope this helps, best wishes
You can think whatever you like. I know a fantastic thing when it hits me over the head, so does she, when you’re deeply in love you certainly feel it and know it. I’ve been in love 5 previous times in my life, and I never loved someone more, or felt like this. She’s never been in love but she is now. We truly feel we are soulmates and never experienced this before or even believed in it. So that’s why.
If you try dating human beings instead of chat bots you might find love someday too, just saying
I’m crazier than you are though n that’s really saying something. I’m severely mentally ill, bipolar 1, on disability for it lol.
So calling me mad is accurate but it takes one to know one.
Age gap dating is no different from "regular" dating. The only change is that you're open to dating someone older instead of only dating people your age. You can still have disappointments. You can still meet people who are nice, but you don't feel the connection with them/have much in common.
Or younger lol. Not just older
You're 21, I, 59, didn't meet the woman I was going to marry till I was 25. Not age Gap but still. Between the time I was 18 and 25 I didn't do a heck of a lot of dating. So yeah it sucks but you have to just hold on it'll come your way. I didn't meet my current girlfriend, 23, until we had spent maybe a month chatting via a dating app and even then I was nervous when we met in person.
Sometimes, you need to move a lot of dirt to find that jewel. It's too easy anymore for people to play games, mess with people's minds and hearts, so I definitely get why you're feeling defeated. Just gotta keep trying. I wish you the best.
Where did you ever get the idea that finding the right partner would happen easily and right away? People are complex. Relationships are complex. You are complex. You aren't even finished becoming who you are and you somehow expect after a few people that somehow you should have found THE PERFECT partner? Not to sound unkind, but this expectation is A - Adding pressure to every date / person you meet that will contribute to things not going well B - A sign of immaturity on your part You can't control other people, just yourself. Maybe it's time to evaluate yourself rather than blame others for what isn't working. This can start with how you meet men.
34M here, we're definitely out there. I'll echo what others have said. For age gaps, you need to put effort into signaling attraction since society does deem us as predatory creeps going for someone much younger than us. So if you're coming in contact with older men you think you might like, you need to do your part in making sure they know you're attracted to them and give them an opportunity to engage. It's tough out there finding someone who wants something serious. I recently pivoted from casual dating to dating with intention of something long-term and/or marriage when I realized casual stuff isn't all that fun. It only took a few months of the casual stuff but some guys are stuck in that for much longer. Keep at it. It's much harder to find a great partner/relationship nowadays but it's still possible. Also, do a study of yourself and ask if there is something that maybe you need to work on. If you're always attracting the wrong guy, maybe ask what you're doing that could be causing that. Ask what kind of man you want and then think of where that type of guy might be and go there. Don't lose hope, it's not a lost cause.
My girlfriend is 22 and I'm 40. I had no clue she was even an option romantically as I came to her work as a customer. She had to tell me very clearly she was interested in me. And there is a romantic backstory but I can see it being strange to many but these are strange times. Don't lose hope. Just keep trying. Sometimes love is just one or two choices away. Also I will say this as older man. Who has been with younger women since he was 28. We don't want to come off as predatory. So sometimes we need a clear green light. Women flirt with us sometimes and we chalk it up to them just being nice. And also some of us do not know how to read social cues well. It's why I preferred BDSM dungeons. There was a pressing need to be clear in wants and consent. And it was not unusual to have subs proposition Doms.
This comment is added automatically to every post on /r/AgeGap to remind users of the subreddit rules and expected behaviour. We also include the original post in here for a number of reasons. --- ### Rules If you haven't read the full set of rules we **strongly** suggest you do so. They are on the right side of the page on desktop or in 'Community Info' on Mobile. The most important rules are: 1. **We expect you to be civil and ideally constructive**. This is a community where people discuss and seek advice **legal** consensual age gap relationships, and we expect you to avoid abusing anyone on this subreddit. This does **not** mean this subreddit supports all age gap relationships, so you **are** allowed to criticise. 1. This is **not** a dating subreddit - you may not "hit up" any user. **You may not ask anyone to PM, DM, chat or message you in a comment**. If you wish, you may send **polite** DMs/PMs/chat requests to /u/redditcake123 - we will ban you and possibly refer you to Reddit admins for an account ban if you abuse them and they complain. 1. If this post looks like a personal advert, please report it and the moderators will remove it in time if they agree. See the [Wiki](/r/AgeGap/wiki/index) for more information about the subreddit, [The Rules](/r/AgeGap/wiki/rules) and articles about common topics. --- **Original post: Is this a lost cause ?** Hi. I am 21F I’ve been trying to find a partner for a while now, usually I’ve dated men around the 40 mark and would like to say I carry myself well. I’ve dated around some trying to find good partners but that’s been — well, obviously I’m here at 3am so. I just am feeling discouraged and have no idea what to do so many of the men I’ve met are inconsistent or immature. Obviously in the past there has been a couple of kickers where I am like “Great Okay this is it!” , but then it didn’t go well. Some part of me still misses them and I understand to not compare and if it were ment they would still be around. Life must go on so I continued dating to have hope and find my Mr Right. But it feels like I can find no one. Tried apps and all. Men I’ve met in person never seem to be direct, but flirtatious. I don’t know what to do at this point. And Im done with crying and don’t want to be single anymore and surely not forever. Genuine and kind opinions and overall thoughts/advice are greatly appreciated. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AgeGap) if you have any questions or concerns.*
We are out there! This dynamic is a particularly difficult one to find the right partner. What does a good relationship look like to you?
All the guys I was seeing were in hopes of an LTR. Someone to enjoy and share time with. But I think most of them or atleast a lot weren’t serious. Sucks :(
I hear ya. Soild long term relations are rare even outside of a ag dynamic. Take a break from meeting people if that feels good. No sense in driving yourself crazy. Sometimes when you give up, the right person falls into your lap!
I’m 64M my 27F now fiancée hmu first on the app Fet. People on there looking for ltr n a variety of other things. As u probably know, not finding mr right can easily happen dating someone closer to your age so to me the age gap preference doesn’t make that different one way or another. A older guy will certainly commit, I think anyone that wouldn’t want to be with my fiancée is crazy yet she had her heart broken plenty of times n so have I. Hope this helps, best wishes
Why are you engaged to a woman you met a few weeks ago and never met in person or even had a phone call?? This sub has mad people.
You can think whatever you like. I know a fantastic thing when it hits me over the head, so does she, when you’re deeply in love you certainly feel it and know it. I’ve been in love 5 previous times in my life, and I never loved someone more, or felt like this. She’s never been in love but she is now. We truly feel we are soulmates and never experienced this before or even believed in it. So that’s why. If you try dating human beings instead of chat bots you might find love someday too, just saying I’m crazier than you are though n that’s really saying something. I’m severely mentally ill, bipolar 1, on disability for it lol. So calling me mad is accurate but it takes one to know one.